I sometimes listen Ajahn Brahms dhamma talks from my mp3-player while working and its like the best antidepressant and I sober up from gloom and doom for couple of days... Thanks Brahms, you are a great inspiration!
Of course, you always want to give someone the benefit of the doubt and give someone another chance. If a person continually hurts or takes advantage of you, it's up to you to remove yourself from the situation. Being kind, compassionate and open to another person doesn't mean to throw your own feelings to the wind. The saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me," has quite the relevant meaning here.
It comes down to common sense. If you really feel like someone is taking advantage of you, then you know to be kind enough to yourself to get out of that situation.
I always love when Ajahn Brahm tells the story of the thief and monk... that story sticks with me as such an amazing example of how we should be. also the story of the disciple asking for punishment. An important one for those of us who come from judeo-christian backgrounds.
I think thats where assertiveness training comes in, which is basically drawing the line without being aggressive. Being firm without aggression is being kind to both yourself and the other person. It doesn't help people to allow them to get away with things they shouldn't, because that distorts their perspective, and the next person they try it on might not be so "nice".
Thank you for these talks. I discovered Ajahn Brahm a few weeks ago and I've been watching these talks constantly since. It has really helped my practice.
correct and honest speech. I had to do this with someone who kept mistaking my kindness for weakness. Had to be honest. Wasn't easy but worked. Hope this helps.
Janie, in my own experience I have found it both ways. Sometimes people are just misunderstood and that little bit of extra compassion and understanding will make them react a different more positive way towards you. However others who are wounded too deeply will indeed act more hateful to you and give you even more abuse. Find your own answers in each individual situations. Hope this helps! and Namaste to you my sweet friend! : )
If you are nice decent person, just try your best to avoid all the nasty people... not to mention if your are small, not rich, not powerful... it is very difficult (almost impossible) to change a nasty person to be come a decent person... Maybe the nastiness is in his or her gene... Am I right ? Thank you :)
For me the way to do that is to remember that in order to be kind and compassionate towards others I first have to be kind and compassionate with myself. If I am not happy I cannot give others happiness. Doing this, if it looks like others are taking advantage of me then they are really missing the point and like the thief they really need what they want. But if they continue in this way, being firm and making clear that it is not okay can be a helpful and compassionate for the relationship.
Personally for me it would depend on the severity of the harm that would come to you by being lied to. I have e - mailed the monks before when i am unsure of how to act or need advice. Loving kindness to you.
6 'dislikes' .... hmm, maybe these 6 couldn't find the 'off' button? Someone forced them to endure listening to the great Ajahn Brahm? What a strange world we are living in!
Be nice to everyone, even those who have been nasty to you. Who knows? They might start being nice to you, too! And if they don't, at least you are being decent. :))
always look at the 'us'. letting people walk all over you is simply you considering them above yourself. I would always draw the line by questioning and trying to figure out the intentions of other people. And try to guide my own conduct using right intention.
I sometimes listen Ajahn Brahms dhamma talks from my mp3-player while working and its
like the best antidepressant and I sober up from gloom and doom for couple of days... Thanks Brahms, you are a great inspiration!
Of course, you always want to give someone the benefit of the doubt and give someone another chance. If a person continually hurts or takes advantage of you, it's up to you to remove yourself from the situation. Being kind, compassionate and open to another person doesn't mean to throw your own feelings to the wind. The saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me," has quite the relevant meaning here.
Yes, we listen online Ajahn Brahm, and you do help from across the globe! Thank you for recording all your talks!
-Savannah, Ga USA
It comes down to common sense. If you really feel like someone is taking advantage of you, then you know to be kind enough to yourself to get out of that situation.
I always love when Ajahn Brahm tells the story of the thief and monk... that story sticks with me as such an amazing example of how we should be.
also the story of the disciple asking for punishment. An important one for those of us who come from judeo-christian backgrounds.
I think thats where assertiveness training comes in, which is basically drawing the line without being aggressive. Being firm without aggression is being kind to both yourself and the other person. It doesn't help people to allow them to get away with things they shouldn't, because that distorts their perspective, and the next person they try it on might not be so "nice".
Thank you for these talks. I discovered Ajahn Brahm a few weeks ago and I've been watching these talks constantly since. It has really helped my practice.
So awesome. ... Every story has lots of wisdom. Thank you!
correct and honest speech. I had to do this with someone who kept mistaking my kindness for weakness. Had to be honest. Wasn't easy but worked. Hope this helps.
Happy new year and have a long life for the benefit of all sentient beings.
i am in states and listen in every week, greatly appreciate the recordings
Happy New Year Ajahn Brahm!! Namaste!!!
Janie, in my own experience I have found it both ways. Sometimes people are just misunderstood and that little bit of extra compassion and understanding will make them react a different more positive way towards you. However others who are wounded too deeply will indeed act more hateful to you and give you even more abuse. Find your own answers in each individual situations. Hope this helps! and Namaste to you my sweet friend! : )
I'm sharing it
What a wonderful talk!!!
Thank you for all you do to feed our thirsty souls......priceless
If you are nice decent person, just try your best to avoid all the nasty people... not to mention if your are small, not rich, not powerful... it is very difficult (almost impossible) to change a nasty person to be come a decent person... Maybe the nastiness is in his or her gene...
Am I right ? Thank you :)
For me the way to do that is to remember that in order to be kind and compassionate towards others I first have to be kind and compassionate with myself. If I am not happy I cannot give others happiness. Doing this, if it looks like others are taking advantage of me then they are really missing the point and like the thief they really need what they want. But if they continue in this way, being firm and making clear that it is not okay can be a helpful and compassionate for the relationship.
This is an amazing talk. I seriously can't believe 10 people disliked this video!
Another great teaching
Thank you for sharing. ....
Personally for me it would depend on the severity of the harm that would come to you by being lied to. I have e - mailed the monks before when i am unsure of how to act or need advice.
Loving kindness to you.
"Ox: i am so smart i could go to Oxford" 😆
LOVE, HAPPINESS, WELL BEING, OOZES FROM THIS GUY XOXO
Don't think of yourself as being taken advantage or stepped all over, just take it as charity/generosity, the good karma is on your side :)
Simply cannot understand how anybody can not Like this!
thank you Ajahn bharm for remaining me again about the importance of kindness
Good way to start the day!! Good morning Ajhan Brahm and to everyone!! : )
6 'dislikes' .... hmm, maybe these 6 couldn't find the 'off' button? Someone forced them to endure listening to the great Ajahn Brahm? What a strange world we are living in!
Be nice to everyone, even those who have been nasty to you. Who knows? They might start being nice to you, too! And if they don't, at least you are being decent. :))
Quite possibly, unless it's done really skilfully with a truly kind intention. But what other people think at first is not super important..
How to trust when your society is not secure at all? everyday newspaper and facebook filled with lots of robbery, lies and scary events....
always look at the 'us'. letting people walk all over you is simply you considering them above yourself. I would always draw the line by questioning and trying to figure out the intentions of other people. And try to guide my own conduct using right intention.
Janie Doe: Discernment
saddhu saddhu saddhu!!!
very nice , thanks for the speech