This reminds me of a quote from my favorite show: "When you spend every day fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you they're evil, they're... subhuman. Because if they weren't, what would that make you?"
so true. I think when someone does something our immediate response is 'what a jerk' and we stop, think about what story we are telling ourselves and change our reaction, we could all communicate better.
Brilliant! Gandhi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Once we notice what we are feeling, we can react to others in a way that makes others feel safe.
It is so frustrating growing up with two victims who constantly act as victims. Feels like my siblings and i were scapegoats to be punished rather than taught
Crucial Conversations is a text that I'll be using in my leadership class. I plan on sharing this video as well. Love the story of our experience with your son. As a developmental specialist...Classic!
I watched this for a college class. This is something I try to do in my every day life, but having it articulated so well in such a relatable story is fantastic. Thank you!
Our instructor showed this clip in our Challenges of Leadership class, the story with Joseph's son really resonated with me; we need to not let our own false assumptions over-rule and take a step back to analyze the situation and not allow anger to control us and our conversations with others.
good talk however one distinction I want to make is that our emotional responses are not always products of our cognition/perception. Thoughts are far more complicated than emotions and so emotions arise much faster and spontaneously. So yes the main point here is that we can manage/regulate emotions which have already arose with our cognition
I’m not sure I agree entirely. What if the CEO in his example is actually evil or has poor judgment or whatever character flaw? You can’t just turn a blind eye and assume the best in others because sometimes they do have the flaw or intention you suspect they do. Let me tell you the problem if the CFO continues to participate and speak up in future meetings: he basically gives the CEO a pass for talking to him like that, and normalizes that behavior. The CEO loses respect for the CFO over time, and also feels like his or her words were totally normal, and therefore may use them again in a different setting. What I’m saying is you can’t let people abuse you like that. You have to resist it.
I think he does address this - he says at 13:05 that he is not suggesting that people shouldn't hold others accountable, but rather they should hold them accountable in better and more constructive ways (as opposed to reacting with silence or violence).
This reminds me of a quote from my favorite show: "When you spend every day fighting a war, you learn to demonize your attackers. To you they're evil, they're... subhuman. Because if they weren't, what would that make you?"
What show?
@@ChronicAnomic Red vs Blue. It doesn't come up until the thirteenth season but I think it'd be worth the wait.
The story about his teenager hits close to home. So glad I found this video
so true. I think when someone does something our immediate response is 'what a jerk' and we stop, think about what story we are telling ourselves and change our reaction, we could all communicate better.
Brilliant! Gandhi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Once we notice what we are feeling, we can react to others in a way that makes others feel safe.
It is so frustrating growing up with two victims who constantly act as victims. Feels like my siblings and i were scapegoats to be punished rather than taught
Crucial Conversations is a text that I'll be using in my leadership class. I plan on sharing this video as well. Love the story of our experience with your son. As a developmental specialist...Classic!
Your Audio CD set was a game changer for me. I listen to them over and over again. Thank you Joseph.
I watched this for a college class. This is something I try to do in my every day life, but having it articulated so well in such a relatable story is fantastic. Thank you!
This is incredible. Thank you for sharing!
We can all learn so much from this. Thank your son for us!
Wow... So much value disclosed. Thank you Joseph
Thank you for making this video available. examples resonates. Very helpful.
Great Video...!!! enjoyed it!
This book is an eye opener and will cause a life changing experience..and make you really look at your "stories!"
Now I want french toast sticks
Our instructor showed this clip in our Challenges of Leadership class, the story with Joseph's son really resonated with me; we need to not let our own false assumptions over-rule and take a step back to analyze the situation and not allow anger to control us and our conversations with others.
Wow... What have I been telling myself!!!
This one *really* spoke to me. Thank you so much for this information.
Mastering your story is a very good reminder for me in my dealings with a few people in my life. Thank you!
Excellent and life changing
good talk however one distinction I want to make is that our emotional responses are not always products of our cognition/perception. Thoughts are far more complicated than emotions and so emotions arise much faster and spontaneously. So yes the main point here is that we can manage/regulate emotions which have already arose with our cognition
Thank you 🫡
This is going to make me a much better coworker.
So true!
HAHA the guy at 7:18
This is a great tool to help us in all of our relationships.
Good way to think fast before speaking
I was a teensy bit skeptical when he First started speaking....but it was Right on the Money
wow
I’m not sure I agree entirely. What if the CEO in his example is actually evil or has poor judgment or whatever character flaw? You can’t just turn a blind eye and assume the best in others because sometimes they do have the flaw or intention you suspect they do. Let me tell you the problem if the CFO continues to participate and speak up in future meetings: he basically gives the CEO a pass for talking to him like that, and normalizes that behavior. The CEO loses respect for the CFO over time, and also feels like his or her words were totally normal, and therefore may use them again in a different setting.
What I’m saying is you can’t let people abuse you like that. You have to resist it.
How is shutting up resistance?
I think he does address this - he says at 13:05 that he is not suggesting that people shouldn't hold others accountable, but rather they should hold them accountable in better and more constructive ways (as opposed to reacting with silence or violence).
Lesson #1, wear a suit, or any attire appropriate for your profession.
Self-talk ?
What if the story you are telling yourself is true, the person is wicked, evil...
5:40 husband cheating, creating stories in my own mind, careful
Such a long pointless talk to convey "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity"