I was with a narcissistic ex for years. The cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulation was the MOST PAINFUL thing I have ever went through. It nearly, literally, ended my life. I truly know how abuse feels like and I pray no one will experience the pain I went through.
I went through the same thing it is so confusing especially when they will act like they love you and then completely flip a switch into them not caring for you at all. It’s devastating.
He also didnt do anything wrong to end up in that situation. I think the abuser often maintains control by making their victim believe they did something to deserve it. Sometimes society says that too. 'Well what did you do that made them do that? No one is perfect, you must have done something to provoke them'. The manipulation is extremely difficult to navigate and see the situation clearly. I'm very grateful for this pastor's very biblically grounded message :)
Please if someone sees this pray for me. Tw Sa and bullying I got sexually assaulted by three people throughout my life and I was bullied since I was little so because of this abuse I feel unlovable, broken, worthless and destroyed but I believe that God's love is able to heal me so please pray for me.
Praying for you. I am also a victim of abuse. You have inherent dignity, worth and value that no one or no action can take away from you. You will always be good enough. You are loved so much by Jesus.
I cried all throuh this. I have been abused mentally and emotionally by my non Christian husband over 20 years, and most recently by someone who is a decietful liar in my church, that I left because of the slander against me. Thank you for this. I am a bible believing Christian and shall stand tall at church this Sunday because God hates abusers.I listen to Jesus and he wakes me in the night and I wrie down what he says. I put them on my UA-cam channel. Recently, he said to me: The Answer. Jesus is the answer. Amen.
Sorry to hear you have been a victim of this longstanding emotional and physical abuse. Time of Grace has compiled some additional resources here: timeofgrace.org/abuse/. Here is a link to another devotional series on recognizing abuse and taking steps to get help: ua-cam.com/video/6ThAIjilM6Y/v-deo.html. Praying some of these resources will be helpful to you!
You sound like a good friend, I understand in different ways, there is definitely those that claim there Christians that are just slandering to ruin lives, I stopped going to church, or hurt another using it's punishment .I'd like to have the guts to start a UA-cam like you I wish you lived near me.❤✝️🙏
Being an abuser and bullying people into submission is never okay or justified. People will make excuses for being abusive and others seem to side with them and their behavior. It is NEVER okay to be mean, cruel, invasive, and outright disrespectful.
@jordantaylor7885 try my abusers sent a wheel of this was going to happen to me, and I now believe some were in my family, were fakes, until they got control of my son
I know right? We’ve been working through our spiritual inventory for a few months now in Celebrate Recovery. Which led me to this video. But realizing that it’s not my fault and the responsibility is not all on me, has greatly helped. Because the church will blame anyone they can. But it’s not my fault even if they accuse me.
Thank you for your message, I was brutally, mercilessly abused and tortured by my father for many, many years. But I met Jesus and He has made me whole! Bless Jesus forever!!
Hi Vincent, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm so glad you have found Jesus, and for His working in you. Thank you for bringing this out into the open. God bless and guide you in life. ❤️
Im so sorry to hear this dear Vincent. It certainly leaves us wondering...hurting...My dad is a vevy scary and cold person. As children when my dear Mom had to leave, my brother and I used to shake because of constant physical and mental abuse. An older cousin once suggested that my dad sold his soul. Im not sure how true it is but his employees actually used to call him hitler. I recently realized that he is a narcissist. I no longer speak with him after years of trying to have a normal father/daughter relationship with the man. Trying to reach him always still left me feeling so hopeless belittled unloved hurting and confused. I tried for a long time because I always kept in the back of my head to 'honour thy Mother and Father' but now I know that Christ does not approve of my earth father's behaviour and that it is okay for me to stop trying to be kind or reach out to him because you see, my earth dad never wanted girl children so he never wanted me just tolerated me and even though he did not want me, my dear brother also felt unwanted. After my brother ran away for the second time, he never came back or speaks to my dad. You see, the abuse was so unbearable as a child that I actually forgot about the sexual abuse, which started happening after my brother ran away. For years I only remembered the beatings and being very frightened always. 2 years after my brother left my Mom came in like a rushing wind and RESCUED US from the madness! She took us to her new home in America! Bless her precious heart she is gone now but I remembered that before she left, she promised that she will come back for us and by God Almighty she did, she kept her promise! bless her dearly departed soul. Anyhoo, through it all King Yahshua has been a strong tower in my life and I am so grateful that He loves me as I am actually quite nervous to open up myself to others, so I just keep King Yahshua close. I love Him very much and am convinced that had it not been for The King, I will not have survived my childhood and live to see the beauty of today... I want you to know that I appreciate you and every other hurting heart for sharing your truth with us. Bless your precious hearts. ONE
Wow, Thank you so very much for your reply. It broke my heart to hear your story, but what a wonderful feeling it gave me because this is my 1st time meeting fellow TBI victims. It's the comradery that is strengthening to me. Because I just found out that I'm NOT alone in this anymore! 🥲😊@@leislsmith4293
Thank you! It is high time church addresses this. So many times the abused have been doubly abused and/or silenced by church authority. Well done, God spoke through you 💜😥
I have been verbally abused by my pastor/husband for 30 years. He has used scripture to justify ir, so I have continually blamed myself, trying harder and harder to make things right. . God led me to your message to set me free from blame and confusion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you greatly for addressing this.
Prayers for you, my heart goes out to you so much!!! I have suffered from horrible emotional and verbal abuse from someone who claims Christianity as well. You are not alone, and we are also NOT alone because we have Jesus! 🙏
@@em77775most churches will not bring accountability with these issues. They just tell the wives to submit. It's shameful and completely unbiblical. It happened to me...
I truly needed to hear this today as I am in a very abusive relationship. I've tried to leave but I'm so afraid. All I do is pray all the time for strength but I'm starting to stumble because I feel like God doesn't hear me.
Sorry to hear you are in an abusive relationship. Time of Grace has compiled a list of resources on abuse here: timeofgrace.org/abuse/. We pray that some of these will be encouraging and helpful to you!
Dear, God really hears you and sees your pain and as we know He hates abuse, He will never want you to stay in one. Leave to live as one pastor said. It won’t end by itself dear. It will end by you leaving the abuse.
Dear One, I can truly understand where you’re coming from on feeling like God doesn’t hear . I felt like you about God not caring because I constantly prayed and called out to the Lord . I cried myself to sleep every night for 7 1/2 years praying for my husband to change. I would try to talk to him and plead with him to get help and he would ridicule me and say things like” you have a roof over your head and food to eat” even though he never touched me or hugged me or anything that was like a loving marriage. I also went to counseling on numerous occasions and he refused to go. I finally realized that lack of prayer was not . problem. I have realized that My Loving Father does care. He gives us His wisdom and the power to choose the pain of staying or the pain of leaving . I know in my heart that Jesus Christ who loved me enough to die for me on a cross would never ever want me or you to be abused. May you find a peaceful place of safety.
Thank you for bringing the sin of abuse into the open. For too long it has flourished in darkness and secrecy. "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." Eph. 5:11.
Thank you for sharing this domestic violence is huge and women are dying by the hands of men daily and the law doesn’t protect us enough i pray God heals the abusers and the abused
Facts! This world is full of horrible people who hate women so bad that they abuse and kill us because of their inadequacy. To teach women they should bear the burden of a man’s issues with himself is to open the eyes of many of us.
Domestic violence starts way before women even meet their husbands. It’s by women that have been abused their whole lives by their parents/caregivers. It’s not just men who abuse. I blame my mom more than my husband.
@@annaburns2865Very true. But the spouses are still just as bad. The familiar spirits bring us together through our fragmented souls (from the childhood abuse). That's a whole other discussion, but yes...we are primed for this from childhood. 😢
Oh my goodness! This is such a much needed sermon! As a Christian mental health therapist who has had way too many cases of abuse in the Christian community I commend you. Many victims avoid reporting abuse because of shame and being viewed as not a good Christian. God bless you🙌🙏🩸
Or they do go to the Pastor who says “Don’t talk so much”, “Leave him alone when he is like that”, “Don’t provoke him”, “submit more”, “You are too strong. Let him lead the family”, “you are manipulative” or “stop being a Jezebel”. (All my experiences) What none of them say to him is “ok you have admitted swearing at, raging at and frightening your wife physically. What are you going to do to own and change that?”
@@shelleyd9910 Many domestic violence agencies are offering educational services to Pastors and clergy now. Many had no formal training and did not know how to respond to the abuse. Hopefully they are taking advantage of these trainings so they may be better equipped to handle the situation properly. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. Hopefully you are safe now. 🙌🙏
@@PinkYellowGreen2023 Domestic violence hits many various populations. As a batterer intervention group therapist I’ve had court mandated clients with all levels of education. DV happens to the most unsuspecting people.
@Lynne DiPadua... Thank you for doing good work. I have lots of experience in mental health. I'm a registered nurse, have Masters level education in mental health counseling, and so much more. I've found that those who are committed to the mental well-being of others are valuable and greatly needed in the Christian community. You are appreciated.
Thank you for bringing up this subject. I am moved by how sincere you are about this. I have been living in a 30 year abusive marriage. He tells me to read my Bible and see that God does not accept divorce. I am so twisted up because I want to leave but he says that he will make the rest of my life a living hell. Please pray for me. I don't know what to do. I have prayed and prayed but I can't seem to get away. It is the most painful thing for someone that you love to treat you so painfully. The pain is unbearable at this point.
clearly in your situation you can LEAVE him but you can't divorce him and remarry, if he knows he can't have another wife, your leaving him will make him THINK about how he's treating you, especially if he's still producing testosterone, if that don't work just wait until he cheats on you then you will have your excuse to remarry, I know this is a little underhanded but the truth is you never should have married him in the first place but we reap what we sew, if you have no children with him I can give you another excuse that Jesus would accept, maybe hard for you to accept but it is the truth
If you leave he will blame, condemn and threaten you with hell. If you have kids, he will turn your kids against you. He will try to get you kicked out of your church. He may try to befriend your toxic family to gang up against you. You will wonder if God really wants you to be attacked verbally. But in the Bible, it only encourages you to suffer like Christ. Once you have a christian narcissist there is no end of sorrows.
Hun as a Christian who was in an abusive relationship that god delivered me from, for four years. Ignore what the women are saying above and LEAVE. Do not wait. make your plans and leave and divorce him. If god hates abuse and abusers why do you think he would hate you for leaving. LEAVE sister in Christ and may the lord bless and keep you. Sisters above your words are not helpful. You give no consideration for what this woman is going through and I feel your comments are not within your rights too give. Why do you judge this lady. Your words almost feel condemning to me. Why are you the judge for what she should do in her life? That is between her and god. Should she stay married to a man who might one day kill her? Have you had to live with a man that makes you scared? Holds knives to his wrist? Have you had to live a man who every time you get in a car risks your life? Think about how your advice affects those who have been through these things. I feel like you shamed this woman with your advice. I feel like you judged her. I felt no love in your comments or consideration for her welfare. It upset me deeply.
I came from a history of abuse, both in my family life and personal relationships. Specifically, when I was 17, I was in my first relationship which was very physically abusive. This relationship exposed me to sex, drugs, and alcohol at an early age. Even after the relationship ended, I continued living in that lifestyle, unable to get out of the cycle. I had this empty void in my heart and I tried to fill the void with everything the world has to offer. I spent the next 10 years drinking, engaging in sexual immorality, and experimenting with drugs. I always believed there was a God but I couldn’t understand why a good God would allow me to go through all the abuse. I was filled with anger, hatred, and resentment toward people, myself, and most importantly toward God. Two years ago, the lifestyle I was living caught up to me and I almost lost everything. I wanted to stop living in sin, but it was like I couldn’t stop on my own. It was at that point, I realized I was a sinner who desperately needed a Savior. What I can't overcome on my own, Jesus has already overcome. (John 16:33) I realized the abuse I suffered was not from God and it was not a reflection of God but it was a reflection of man and the sin in our human hearts which goes all the way back to the fall of man in Genesis 3, when sin first entered the world. As I began to seek God (in his Word, in prayer, and in His presence), I realized He had been seeking me all along. My shame and guilt had me running from God, when I should have been running to Him all along. When I accepted Jesus into my heart, He gave me a new heart and a new spirit. (Ezekiel 26:36) I no longer desired sex, drugs, or alcohol. I desired the things of God. I began my walk of purity with Jesus. I desired to forgive those who had abused me because God forgave me for all my sins. Who am I to not extend that forgiveness unto others. “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15) I continue to pray for their salvation. They were in need of a Savior. I was no better than them. I had sinned against God too. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) I’ve been walking with the Lord for two years now and it hasn’t always been easy but man, it is so worth it. Jesus is worth it! He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. What happens in this life, is temporary. Whatever "suffering" we go through in this life is nothing compared to what Jesus endured for us on the cross. All the glory goes to Jesus alone, for the blood He shed for our redemption and freedom! Thank you Lord!
THANK YOU so much for revealing it's ok to hate violence (and the violent) I have become physically ill by stifling this urge and trying to "love my enemies" to show what a "good Christian" I am, being "like Jesus" In effect, I was lying to myself so no wonder I became ill!
No wonder I've been sick, too, don't keep being kind to them that never deserved that, lying to myself too.bible was used wrongly for control of particular situations, " I'm being punished, or there so called purgatory beliefs, that are sick,and nothing to do with Bible, or God
Deep thought: the victims of abuse, we want so badly to know what kind of justification, what is going to happen to them for all of their wrongdoings, but really, that thinking perpetuates and continues the bonds of abuse. As hard as it can be, lets try to remember that we can safely walk away, let go, and let God. We can give it all to God. We have to trust, and remind ourselves, with all of our being, that God will take care of it, as He sees just, and it is just not our business. Revenge is not ours. And thank God for this. Thank God that we can give it to Him to carry. And that He will! And that He does. Sending anyone struggling, peace and good thoughts and a reminder that God loves you so very, very much ♥
Sadly, my emotional abuser controlled me for a long time and so did three spouses. I felt worthless due to childhood parental abuses. It took me decades to place value on myself. Thank you Jesus! Thank you God and the Holy Spirit! The grief never goes away because of what might have been. 😢
This just showed up in my feed today & I needed it. I was abused by my mother my whole life...as I was growing up and as her adult live-in caregiver. My mother stop at nothing to hurt me. The sad part is there are millions of us...adult children who at some point figure out that we were brainwashed to accept the abuse by a parent to just find out much later in life (late 40's, 50's and up) that we were abuse & used by someone who should have loved us the most and the worst part is we blame ourselves. Thank you, Pastor Mike. I believe God gave me this today to let me know that I am not to blame and I am loved. I never felt loved my whole life like so many survivors. We are loved. We are enough. We are not alone. We have Jesus who loves us the most. Thank you for speaking about this horrific topic & giving us hope. God bless you.🙏🩷
Thank you for this message. I have saved it to my playlist. After leaving an abusive marriage, I was shocked to hear my abuser's men's group leader quoting scripture to tell me to return and submit. Disappointingly, after I became free, I have had repeated encounters with survivors where they share their fear that God is mad at them for ending an abusive marriage and/or abusers blaspheming the Word to try to perpetuate and justify their abuse. Your message is desperately needed. Thank you.
This is me. I felt like God hated me for unanswered prayers for my ex husband. Now I feel like God hates me for leaving him. To get through the pain in the past I had a mantra I would repeat to myself as I cried to try to get through it was "you don't matter" until I became numb enough.
It hit me hard when you said "It's not your fault". I blame myself for everything that happened... It hurts that I was treated horribly from 3 years old to even 25. It hurts because I keep being blamed... And even I kept getting blamed. I'm scared all the time and I'm worried about everything...
Hi, Vaporwing. You are describing " scapegoating", you are being mistreated because you were assigned the role of the scapegoat in your family. And NO, it's not your fault !! It's always parents or other family members who assign a role like this. This happens to children who are usually the result of an unwanted pregnancy. I've seen this, experienced it- until I departed the family,never to return. You do have the option of going no- contact,if this is what you want. Sometimes relatives are willing to go to therapy,and work on changing things. Most dysfunctional families choose not to though, especially the narcissist types. It's odd how most churches will side with abusers over the victims ! If you've been attending a church that keeps you in this victim state, you can leave. We can't hate people, but we don't have to be around them anymore either. Forgiveness and reconciliation are NOT the same thing.
Sorry you suffered, I too suffered. The Bible says forgive those who abuse you. They were ignorant, possessed by demons. Only bad comes from Satan. Sad, my abuser continued some level of abuse in my adulthood up to 30’s. She never knew God. Just carrying on a generational curse, doing what she learned and was aloud to get away with. It still saddens me. Getting therapy
@@JulieSevelson-nb9nj I agree with most of what you said, but please don’t spread misinformation about unwanted pregnancy. I know that can be the case in some situations such as my oldest nephew. But in my case, my mom said that she always wanted a girl and yet, she still goes along with the misogyny displayed by my brothers, dad and the generations before her. I used to think she was lying about wanting a girl, but now I don’t. I think she just couldn’t overcome the sexism and misogyny of multiple generations. And also, she is so grateful for my middle brother even though at the time she had anxiety because she already had my older brothers and was overwhelmed. In addition, I think my youngest brother was the original scapegoat but when he went no contact, my mom shifted it to me, and now I’m worried that she will shift it to my nieces and nephews, (her grandkids) yet she still hurts me every chance she gets. I have tried to go no contact but many people in the church will encourage me to keep contact with her. 🤷♀️ But if she does treat her grandkids as bad as she treats me then she deserves everything the Bible says about abusing young children. In fact, she already does. Because looking back, her abuse of me started in my childhood. I just couldn’t make sense of it at the time. But even pregnancies that parents insist the wanted result in children that are victims of abuse. Sometimes they just want to have a child so they can abuse it.
Please know that you are loved. I hope for a day when there will be a safe place for women like yourself to go in a quiet, restful, peaceful environment, where they can get their thoughts together for a month or so and not have to worry about finances while they gather themselves and decide what they need to do to move into a safe future. I’m still in my situation due to not having a safe place to go in the finances to do so. Stay strong and move forward in God’s leading.
I have lived with an abusive husband for almost 4 yrs now. My spirit is so heavy now that I am not sure I will ever survive this. I pray for him every night but it doesn't change. I leave and come back because financially I cannot move and also the guilt. Maybe I didnt try hard enough or I am a bad wife. This sermon touched my soul. I know if I do not make it out that I have Hid with me.
Hi Erica God loves you. Take action to grow closer to God. Focus on Him. Read verses about oppression n declare what God will do for you. Reach out for help.
Your safety is your number 1 priority. He’s meant to keep you safe and he’s not doing that. There’s help out there, organisations that help women get out of domestic violent relationships- seek, find and get out.
Erica, leave. God can heal everything but he does not have to do it with you in the home or with you being subject to that. Listen again to this pastors wonderful message. God is not like your situation in fact he hates it. Live to please God first then man. Leave please.
I lived with an abusive husband for 8 years. It was physical, emotional and financial abuse, but on Sundays he would preach and go and evangelize after abusing me. I called the Cops on him and got a restraining order. Thank you Jesus
I can relate. I'm so sorry that happened to you. With my experience it's harder with someone who maintains a semblance of godliness. It really makes one question oneself and everything. I even began to doubt God. But Jesus is the only answer. I'll keep you you in prayer. God bless.
You can't get a restraining order unless there's physical abuse. Emotional, psychological, verbal and severe gaslighting fear abuse is just as bad but not recognized. Thank God Almighty God recognizes it. Pray, and don't stop having faith and praying to God.
Old times had lots of abuse too. Shara towards Hagar. Rachel towards her sister Leah. Jesus knew abuse too. All abuse is not fair but God sees it all and he will see us! Thank you Lord for getting it.
Thank you Pastor Mike, you are the only Pastor i know that talks about abuse. I been a Christian for over ten years. The Pastors where i live in NewJersey never talked about abuse at all. I went to the Pastors to let them know that i been abused by my parents since they are Narcissists. The Pastors told me to pray about it and deal with it. I been praying for them for years . I left those Christian churches. I finally found a great Christian church and pastor who cares about this people and is supportive.
Thank you, I really needed it. My mother was abusive, I'm dealing with cptsd because of that, she always repeated to me to shut up and gaslighted me, because I had to honor my abusers. Twisting the Bible to continue the abuse is very common.
Thank you pastor for making this clear. I grew up with verbally abusive relatives, a narcissist mother and a verbally dismissive ex husband. I also came across several toxic employers. I thought I had to accept and just deal with such trials of life.
I have been in a relationship for 26 years , Not married and I have been run through the mill . I am mean right back at him . I have been chest butted by him twice and hurt bad enough that I had to have surgery on my low back ,found cocaine a couple of weeks ago , I have a horse 🐎 and a cat . Limited income . I keep😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏asking God what have I done to deserve this ??? I don’t understand ? I am so broken by this , He has made me the woman that I have turned into now and I can not keep continuing to have to live like this . May God have Mercy on me 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for this message. I tried to get help from my former church, but i was not believed. I was looked at in anger, it hurt so much. I left the church and decided to stop believing in God for 3 days. I was so lonely i cried out to him, the abuse has not stopped but i live in hope and ask God to help me get my finances in order so that i can leave the abuse and be free.
Hello, Muzalak. Your church failed both you and God by treating you that way !! They should have rescued you instead. You don't have to stay with this person,you can live seperately. The husband is winning,by acting as he does. He may have seen his father doing the same thing to his mother growing up,but that is NO excuse ! He needs therapy to help him overcome his own abusive childhood. In the meantime, you are free to leave the house and not return. I don't know what the future holds , and am no marriage expert, but one should not live under the same roof with an abuser, be it a spouse,parents,etc. If you can try to join a support group for victims of domestic abuse,you will feel much less alone and scared. Those didn't exist when I was younger. It's so wrong what happened to you !
I was abused from my father as a young child, I hated it, it hurt me deeply! He told me he was preparing me for when I got married, I knew he was lying but couldn’t escape! I’m 61 now and God has helped me to forgive and leave my dad up to him. I prayed for him to find forgiveness. Don’t know if he did. God says He will be a Father to the fatherless. He was!
Amen. After being abused by my mother, and experiencing molestation from people I trusted as a child it's such a blessing to know that Jesus gets it. I asked God this question, if he ever thinks of me or if he ever thought of me when my mother was raped and then conceived me. But I believe he was watching and 23 years later he still is. ❤
Hi, Notoncube. You don't have to continue to be abused or mistreated by your mother. You can leave and have friends be your family,if you want to. Forgiveness and reconciliation are totally different situations. Many do forgive,but leave and move on with their lives. Hatred is sinful, but leaving isn't.
I’m not a child of rape, but I think my mom hates me because I remind her of my cheating father. It’s definitely weird about the victim of our father’s, our mother can now be the one making us the victim.
When we focus on our pain, we lose focus on our purpose. We are called to forgive, repent, pray. LORD HELP US TO KEEP OUR EYES FIXED ON YOU AND YOUR WORD 🙏🏼
I did this for years and the pain fee and became debilitating. Would you tell someone with a broken leg, “Forget about your leg. Just keep running and serving.” The more they ran the more excruciating the pain would become.
The Bible says to cast our care on Him, for He cares for us. The Bible says (even if parents abuse us) when my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. He gave me that verse one time, when I was young (it jumped out at me), and it was like I felt His arm around me and I heard Him say, "I see what's going on, I understand, and I care". Yes, I am to forgive (and have) and He says to forgive, but there's a lot of verses in the Bible, not just one, and at the time He said that to me, the focus was that He told me He cared. Sometimes, we forget that God cares for our hurts at the same time that we are forgiving those that hurt us.
Thank you for addressing a private and public health epidemic. Thank you for naming abuse what it is, a sin. Furthermore, thank you for letting the human race know how God feels about abuse.
I needed this I have been abused just about all of my life and I am thankful to jesus for all of his love I need your prayers!... Thank you for preaching God's word and for this message ❤💔
We will certainly be praying, and please also feel free to submit requests directly to our Prayer Team here: timeofgrace.org/pray/. Also please feel free to check out these additional resources on abuse: .timeofgrace.org/abuse/
I finally feel seen after dealing with abuse for several months. It scares me to tell other Christian’s about it because they seem to always justify it or excuse it. I’m finally healing and moving on but I been hesitant to go back to the church. Thank you for seeing us Pastor!
My adopted mom physically abused me & my brother my adopted dad didn't believe me & basically told me if I didn't take it back I wouldn't be part of the family... basically abandoning me. Then my separated husband put hands on me multiple xs & I tried to forgive him because the bible says to forgive & he told me to also & he left anyway & started sleeping with another woman. He hasn't even filed for divorce yet. I believe all this happened to make me depend only on God bcuz I wasn't raised in the bible. He's my true family. Being abandoned by 2 families is beyond painful... and my husband... but God's all i need.
Being is God’s family is the best. If you can break away from your natural family, you should consider that. You might not have to stay away forever but distance while you are healing is a good thing. Shalom.
This has brought me to tears. I cannot find it in me to feel for myself when I know others are suffering too. I pray for us. I pray we keep seeking the lord and walk the path of righteousness. It is not easy. We have to loose to win.
The church shames victims who want to divorce and then tempt those who finally gain the courage and wisdom to leave with hope that gets them stuck back in the cycle of abuse. Of course I don’t want to divorce but I have to. Getting shamed or being told God can change one who is unrepentant and unwilling is not godly.
This is my first time hearing you, pastor. You moved me deeply with this topic. Truly a God inspired sermon. Thank you for your frankness. May God continue to bless you and our church 🙏 We will meet in heaven one day.
Thank you for bringing out this biblical truth. Many Pastors don't understand the intricacies of abuse and would only advice the abused victim usually the wife to "submit to the husband". It's a dangerous advice without showing care and compassion to those who are enduring an abusive spouse. The worship team were really good but I'm distracted with the Lady with ripped jeans. We are called to dress modestly as Christians and I hope the church/Pastor will address this way of dressing in the church.
So thankful for you Pastor for finding courage and strength to confront this evil that is so rampant in the Church. Blind eyes everywhere pretending to not see because they are to cowardly to confront this evil. May this series bless, encourage, strengthen and protect all those who hear it, in Jesus name.
I’m looking at this video today because my pastor is teaching unconditional forgiveness . All what she said leaves the unchanged criminal to continue to victimize more children or domestic violence to continue and escalate. Thanks for the only voice out there for the church that actually wants to love and protect victims.
@loissemanek1715 forgiveness is not the same as trust or reconciliation. We can forgive people, but they still need consequences. Jesus always chose the victims and called out the abusers (Pharisees). Praying you find a good church!!
This made me cry. Left my verbally and mentally abused husband 9 months ago. 37yrs of marriage. I opened up to my pastor who abandoned me. My husband is a covert narcissist and is very convincing. He was a monster to me at home
So sorry to hear that you were in an abusive marriage for so long. We pray you have been able to begin the healing process. For more resources to help, please visit timeofgrace.org/abuse. We hope these will be encouraging to you as you recover and find peace. God's blessings!
I really enjoyed this Sermon. I agree with every word of it. I have experienced every type of abuse, and I know so many others have as well. Trust me, I know that there are people that have had it much worse, but I do believe mine was pretty bad, and it's still going on. Abusers never change...FACT. BUT, ANOTHER FACT IS, GOD, JESUS, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL NEVER STOP LOVING US. As long as I have their love, that is all that matters. Amen to this Service, and thank you for the words that you shared. They meant a lot to me. 😇😇😇
God bless your heart for going there, this message is desperately needed in the body of Christ, praise God and the Holy Spirit for leading you to talk on this, I would absolutely love to visit your church one day 🙏
Thankyou for teaching on this, it’s rare to hear any man of faith preaching on this topic bc soooooo many people live this daily and are told to stay and stick it out with their spouse.
Thank you thank you THANK YOU !!!!!!! you are helping so many battered women and their children. Please keep speaking out like this please dont forget us we need pastors who will help us not tell us to "be forgiving and a better woman and mother" Thank you so much
Someone who.is abusive is choosing to act out the deeds of the enemy. These people aren't Godly/ with God. The bible says numerous times that we are to distance ourselves from these people. Why go along/ protect/befriend the enemy? It is God who we should follow..
Thank you so much|. I pray that every single abused brother or sister in Christ finds (along with myself) comfort in our God's Grace and finds specially the Gift of Forgiveness that only He can give us. I love you all brothers and sisters. Thank you Pastor, God bless you by tons!!!!
Strange how this video comes to me, when I have just been blaming myself. Sadly to comfort got into another relationship & left my marriage. It made things worse. Today I’m labelled as being selfish etc. No one knows the truth. I have repented etc but my marriage is broken. I know Jesus will change my spouse’s stone heart. Please pray for me
❤PRICELESS AND TIMELESS MESSAGE, TRULY SPIRIT FILLED ENDLESS LOVE IN OUR LORD'S LIVING LOVING WORD, GLORY BE HIS NAME FOREVER IN OUR WALK IN HIS GRACE, AMEN
What you need to know about LITTLE ONES, is that it not only applies to children per se but ANYONE who is little/insignificant in power, status, influence etc
This was pure and sincere! May God bless the pastor and bless the sheep in this ministry. May deliverance break out and the love of the Father be present! I pray He blesses this church ! In Jesus name! Amen 💓 ~
My best friend stayed in an abusive relationship for more than 20 years and, after finally allowing herself to separate from him for the last year, he returned and tried to use God's name to guilt her into going back to it. Sadly, she did it because she loves God with all her heart and all she's ever heard is that the only reason for divorce is adultery. Myself and several others talked to her about it and mentioned much of what you said here but she went back. It's heartbreaking.
Thank you for this sermon..it can be so very difficult to believe God loves us and wants us. I really appreciate the honesty of your sermon and experience
Thank you for talking about this i know i left a comment previously. Its just cause of me experiencing parental abuse i watched this. How can parents abuse their kids. Just dont have kids if you hate them. Its so sad people like them exist. God will bring justice🙌
I today got away from my abuser. It was my last beat down I can take… right before I got into action to leave after he was forcing me to drive him somewhere punching me as I drove moving my wheel so I’d lose control of the car and the beats to my head… I screamed out for god I told him I just can’t take it anymore to forgive me but I have to pull over and force him out the car I can’t take him anymore. And I did so and I walked away unharmed and my car intact. You saying god hates the abuser is amazing it has made me realize this is true… why love someone who god doesn’t like himself or what he does? It’s crazy. This is all so crazy.
Emotional Abuse is So Devistating.
It is !
Yes it is
Yes it is😭
It's terrible
My parents did this to me when I was young.
I was with a narcissistic ex for years. The cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulation was the MOST PAINFUL thing I have ever went through. It nearly, literally, ended my life. I truly know how abuse feels like and I pray no one will experience the pain I went through.
I went through the same thing it is so confusing especially when they will act like they love you and then completely flip a switch into them not caring for you at all. It’s devastating.
Me too. So sorry for anyone who suffers this.
It is truly devastating to one’s self and all that you are. But… God can help you out of that pain.
Going thru it now
Amen
"Jesus was abused"
I never thought of it that way. Thank you for this wonderful message.
He also didnt do anything wrong to end up in that situation.
I think the abuser often maintains control by making their victim believe they did something to deserve it.
Sometimes society says that too. 'Well what did you do that made them do that? No one is perfect, you must have done something to provoke them'.
The manipulation is extremely difficult to navigate and see the situation clearly.
I'm very grateful for this pastor's very biblically grounded message :)
Yes because the father of all lies was very much alive then as he is now. Satan is no joke folks!
and i have been thinking that its okay for me to "endure" the abuse.
I don’t know why this subject is not discussed more within the church, so much abuse is going on within the body of Christ is heartbreaking
Yes Amen to this.
It should be a regular discussion. Also in conversation with how ministry is done as control often shows up there too, pushing people away.
Please if someone sees this pray for me.
Tw Sa and bullying
I got sexually assaulted by three people throughout my life and I was bullied since I was little so because of this abuse I feel unlovable, broken, worthless and destroyed but I believe that God's love is able to heal me so please pray for me.
Praying 🙏 for you xx
Praying for you. I am also a victim of abuse. You have inherent dignity, worth and value that no one or no action can take away from you. You will always be good enough. You are loved so much by Jesus.
Jesus settled it all at the cross. All of it. Walk in his love.
May the Lord restore all the enemy took from you and that you believe on the Lord Christ!
So sorry ❤
I believe God wants believers to Avoid abusers as much as possible.
Yes. Do not get unequally yoked. Light and darkness do not go together...
I cried all throuh this. I have been abused mentally and emotionally by my non Christian husband over 20 years, and most recently by someone who is a decietful liar in my church, that I left because of the slander against me. Thank you for this. I am a bible believing Christian and shall stand tall at church this Sunday because God hates abusers.I listen to Jesus and he wakes me in the night and I wrie down what he says. I put them on my UA-cam channel. Recently, he said to me: The Answer. Jesus is the answer. Amen.
Sorry to hear you have been a victim of this longstanding emotional and physical abuse. Time of Grace has compiled some additional resources here: timeofgrace.org/abuse/. Here is a link to another devotional series on recognizing abuse and taking steps to get help: ua-cam.com/video/6ThAIjilM6Y/v-deo.html. Praying some of these resources will be helpful to you!
You sound like a good friend, I understand in different ways, there is definitely those that claim there Christians that are just slandering to ruin lives, I stopped going to church, or hurt another using it's punishment .I'd like to have the guts to start a UA-cam like you I wish you lived near me.❤✝️🙏
Being an abuser and bullying people into submission is never okay or justified. People will make excuses for being abusive and others seem to side with them and their behavior. It is NEVER okay to be mean, cruel, invasive, and outright disrespectful.
❤
Through experience....I'm sure they know....they just don't give a flying f*@$.
@@wany1211maybe the problem isn’t that they don’t know, but that we don’t know. Because I do give a f:8:$:B
They make excuses or IGNORE even if it’s their family n never check on the one being abused!!! (My name is Sarah… Jordan is my abuser )
@jordantaylor7885 try my abusers sent a wheel of this was going to happen to me, and I now believe some were in my family, were fakes, until they got control of my son
“It’s not your fault”
The way that just cracks open light into the dark and releases an abundance of tears.
Me too I felt it. It's not our fault.
I know right?
We’ve been working through our spiritual inventory for a few months now in Celebrate Recovery. Which led me to this video.
But realizing that it’s not my fault and the responsibility is not all on me, has greatly helped. Because the church will blame anyone they can. But it’s not my fault even if they accuse me.
Thank you for your message, I was brutally, mercilessly abused and tortured by my father for many, many years. But I met Jesus and He has made me whole! Bless Jesus forever!!
Hi Vincent, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm so glad you have found Jesus, and for His working in you. Thank you for bringing this out into the open. God bless and guide you in life. ❤️
Im so sorry to hear this dear Vincent. It certainly leaves us wondering...hurting...My dad is a vevy scary and cold person. As children when my dear Mom had to leave, my brother and I used to shake because of constant physical and mental abuse. An older cousin once suggested that my dad sold his soul. Im not sure how true it is but his employees actually used to call him hitler. I recently realized that he is a narcissist. I no longer speak with him after years of trying to have a normal father/daughter relationship with the man. Trying to reach him always still left me feeling so hopeless belittled unloved hurting and confused. I tried for a long time because I always kept in the back of my head to 'honour thy Mother and Father' but now I know that Christ does not approve of my earth father's behaviour and that it is okay for me to stop trying to be kind or reach out to him because you see, my earth dad never wanted girl children so he never wanted me just tolerated me and even though he did not want me, my dear brother also felt unwanted. After my brother ran away for the second time, he never came back or speaks to my dad. You see, the abuse was so unbearable as a child that I actually forgot about the sexual abuse, which started happening after my brother ran away. For years I only remembered the beatings and being very frightened always. 2 years after my brother left my Mom came in like a rushing wind and RESCUED US from the madness! She took us to her new home in America! Bless her precious heart she is gone now but I remembered that before she left, she promised that she will come back for us and by God Almighty she did, she kept her promise! bless her dearly departed soul. Anyhoo, through it all King Yahshua has been a strong tower in my life and I am so grateful that He loves me as I am actually quite nervous to open up myself to others, so I just keep King Yahshua close. I love Him very much and am convinced that had it not been for The King, I will not have survived my childhood and live to see the beauty of today...
I want you to know that I appreciate you and every other hurting heart for sharing your truth with us. Bless your precious hearts. ONE
Wow, Thank you so very much for your reply. It broke my heart to hear your story, but what a wonderful feeling it gave me because this is my 1st time meeting fellow TBI victims. It's the comradery that is strengthening to me. Because I just found out that I'm NOT alone in this anymore! 🥲😊@@leislsmith4293
Blessings Vincent!! 🙏🕊📖💕💝
Thank you! It is high time church addresses this. So many times the abused have been doubly abused and/or silenced by church authority. Well done, God spoke through you 💜😥
I have been verbally abused by my pastor/husband for 30 years. He has used scripture to justify ir, so I have continually blamed myself, trying harder and harder to make things right. . God led me to your message to set me free from blame and confusion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you greatly for addressing this.
Prayers for you, my heart goes out to you so much!!!
I have suffered from horrible emotional and verbal abuse from someone who claims Christianity as well.
You are not alone, and we are also NOT alone because we have Jesus! 🙏
If he's abusive, he's probably cheating. That sets you free. ❤ be strong
Yep, most pastors do that, its there belief they are holy and they know and have a rightouesness
Have you brought it to the other elders at church so he can be held accountable? A pastor cannot be abusing his wife in any way. That is sin.
@@em77775most churches will not bring accountability with these issues. They just tell the wives to submit. It's shameful and completely unbiblical. It happened to me...
I want to “like” this 10,000 times.
I truly needed to hear this today as I am in a very abusive relationship. I've tried to leave but I'm so afraid. All I do is pray all the time for strength but I'm starting to stumble because I feel like God doesn't hear me.
Sorry to hear you are in an abusive relationship. Time of Grace has compiled a list of resources on abuse here: timeofgrace.org/abuse/. We pray that some of these will be encouraging and helpful to you!
@@timeofgrace thank you so very much and God bless.
Dear, God really hears you and sees your pain and as we know He hates abuse, He will never want you to stay in one. Leave to live as one pastor said. It won’t end by itself dear. It will end by you leaving the abuse.
Dear One,
I can truly understand where you’re coming from on feeling like God doesn’t hear .
I felt like you about God not caring because I constantly prayed and called out to the Lord .
I cried myself to sleep every night for 7 1/2 years praying for my husband to change.
I would try to talk to him and plead with him to get help and he would ridicule me and say things like” you have a roof over your head and food to eat” even though he never touched me or hugged me or anything that was like a loving marriage.
I also went to counseling on numerous occasions and he refused to go.
I finally realized that lack of prayer was not .
problem.
I have realized that My Loving Father does care.
He gives us His wisdom and the power to choose the pain of staying or the pain of leaving .
I know in my heart that Jesus Christ who loved me enough to die for me on a cross would never ever want me or you to be abused.
May you find a peaceful place of safety.
I got excellent help right where I was with The National Domestic Violence Hotline. They heard. They validated they strategized absolutely invaluable
I needed this today 12-19-24 Thank You
Thank you for bringing the sin of abuse into the open. For too long it has flourished in darkness and secrecy. "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them." Eph. 5:11.
Yes! We must expose those who abuse.
Amen!
Thank you for sharing this domestic violence is huge and women are dying by the hands of men daily and the law doesn’t protect us enough i pray God heals the abusers and the abused
Facts! This world is full of horrible people who hate women so bad that they abuse and kill us because of their inadequacy. To teach women they should bear the burden of a man’s issues with himself is to open the eyes of many of us.
Amen!!!🙏🙏🙏
Domestic violence starts way before women even meet their husbands.
It’s by women that have been abused their whole lives by their parents/caregivers.
It’s not just men who abuse.
I blame my mom more than my husband.
@@annaburns2865Very true. But the spouses are still just as bad. The familiar spirits bring us together through our fragmented souls (from the childhood abuse). That's a whole other discussion, but yes...we are primed for this from childhood. 😢
Oh my goodness! This is such a much needed sermon! As a Christian mental health therapist who has had way too many cases of abuse in the Christian community I commend you. Many victims avoid reporting abuse because of shame and being viewed as not a good Christian. God bless you🙌🙏🩸
Or they do go to the Pastor who says “Don’t talk so much”, “Leave him alone when he is like that”, “Don’t provoke him”, “submit more”, “You are too strong. Let him lead the family”, “you are manipulative” or “stop being a Jezebel”. (All my experiences) What none of them say to him is “ok you have admitted swearing at, raging at and frightening your wife physically. What are you going to do to own and change that?”
Abuse is bad in the Christian community. Really bad...
@@shelleyd9910 Many domestic violence agencies are offering educational services to Pastors and clergy now. Many had no formal training and did not know how to respond to the abuse. Hopefully they are taking advantage of these trainings so they may be better equipped to handle the situation properly. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. Hopefully you are safe now. 🙌🙏
@@PinkYellowGreen2023 Domestic violence hits many various populations. As a batterer intervention group therapist I’ve had court mandated clients with all levels of education. DV happens to the most unsuspecting people.
@Lynne DiPadua... Thank you for doing good work. I have lots of experience in mental health. I'm a registered nurse, have Masters level education in mental health counseling, and so much more. I've found that those who are committed to the mental well-being of others are valuable and greatly needed in the Christian community. You are appreciated.
Abuse can happen once and the impact can be profound 🙏🏾
Thank you for bringing up this subject. I am moved by how sincere you are about this. I have been living in a 30 year abusive marriage. He tells me to read my Bible and see that God does not accept divorce. I am so twisted up because I want to leave but he says that he will make the rest of my life a living hell. Please pray for me. I don't know what to do. I have prayed and prayed but I can't seem to get away. It is the most painful thing for someone that you love to treat you so painfully. The pain is unbearable at this point.
clearly in your situation you can LEAVE him but you can't divorce him and remarry, if he knows he can't have another wife, your leaving him will make him THINK about how he's treating you, especially if he's still producing testosterone, if that don't work just wait until he cheats on you then you will have your excuse to remarry, I know this is a little underhanded but the truth is you never should have married him in the first place but we reap what we sew, if you have no children with him I can give you another excuse that Jesus would accept, maybe hard for you to accept but it is the truth
If you leave he will blame, condemn and threaten you with hell. If you have kids, he will turn your kids against you. He will try to get you kicked out of your church. He may try to befriend your toxic family to gang up against you. You will wonder if God really wants you to be attacked verbally. But in the Bible, it only encourages you to suffer like Christ. Once you have a christian narcissist there is no end of sorrows.
Hun as a Christian who was in an abusive relationship that god delivered me from, for four years. Ignore what the women are saying above and LEAVE. Do not wait. make your plans and leave and divorce him. If god hates abuse and abusers why do you think he would hate you for leaving. LEAVE sister in Christ and may the lord bless and keep you.
Sisters above your words are not helpful. You give no consideration for what this woman is going through and I feel your comments are not within your rights too give. Why do you judge this lady. Your words almost feel condemning to me. Why are you the judge for what she should do in her life? That is between her and god. Should she stay married to a man who might one day kill her? Have you had to live with a man that makes you scared? Holds knives to his wrist? Have you had to live a man who every time you get in a car risks your life? Think about how your advice affects those who have been through these things. I feel like you shamed this woman with your advice. I feel like you judged her. I felt no love in your comments or consideration for her welfare. It upset me deeply.
Divorce in this case is necessary so that they are not allowed any access to you whatsoever
I agree - she needs to leave. God neither wants nor expects her to live in fear and disrespected like that.
I came from a history of abuse, both in my family life and personal relationships. Specifically, when I was 17, I was in my first relationship which was very physically abusive. This relationship exposed me to sex, drugs, and alcohol at an early age. Even after the relationship ended, I continued living in that lifestyle, unable to get out of the cycle. I had this empty void in my heart and I tried to fill the void with everything the world has to offer. I spent the next 10 years drinking, engaging in sexual immorality, and experimenting with drugs. I always believed there was a God but I couldn’t understand why a good God would allow me to go through all the abuse. I was filled with anger, hatred, and resentment toward people, myself, and most importantly toward God.
Two years ago, the lifestyle I was living caught up to me and I almost lost everything. I wanted to stop living in sin, but it was like I couldn’t stop on my own. It was at that point, I realized I was a sinner who desperately needed a Savior. What I can't overcome on my own, Jesus has already overcome. (John 16:33)
I realized the abuse I suffered was not from God and it was not a reflection of God but it was a reflection of man and the sin in our human hearts which goes all the way back to the fall of man in Genesis 3, when sin first entered the world.
As I began to seek God (in his Word, in prayer, and in His presence), I realized He had been seeking me all along. My shame and guilt had me running from God, when I should have been running to Him all along. When I accepted Jesus into my heart, He gave me a new heart and a new spirit. (Ezekiel 26:36) I no longer desired sex, drugs, or alcohol. I desired the things of God. I began my walk of purity with Jesus.
I desired to forgive those who had abused me because God forgave me for all my sins. Who am I to not extend that forgiveness unto others. “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15) I continue to pray for their salvation. They were in need of a Savior. I was no better than them. I had sinned against God too. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)
I’ve been walking with the Lord for two years now and it hasn’t always been easy but man, it is so worth it. Jesus is worth it! He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. What happens in this life, is temporary. Whatever "suffering" we go through in this life is nothing compared to what Jesus endured for us on the cross. All the glory goes to Jesus alone, for the blood He shed for our redemption and freedom! Thank you Lord!
Wow - thank you for sharing your powerful testimony of grace, forgiveness, and redemption! Praise God!
THANK YOU so much for revealing it's ok to hate violence (and the violent)
I have become physically ill by stifling this urge and trying to "love my enemies" to show what a "good Christian" I am, being "like Jesus"
In effect, I was lying to myself so no wonder I became ill!
No wonder I've been sick, too, don't keep being kind to them that never deserved that, lying to myself too.bible was used wrongly for control of particular situations, " I'm being punished, or there so called purgatory beliefs, that are sick,and nothing to do with Bible, or God
Deep thought: the victims of abuse, we want so badly to know what kind of justification, what is going to happen to them for all of their wrongdoings, but really, that thinking perpetuates and continues the bonds of abuse. As hard as it can be, lets try to remember that we can safely walk away, let go, and let God. We can give it all to God. We have to trust, and remind ourselves, with all of our being, that God will take care of it, as He sees just, and it is just not our business. Revenge is not ours. And thank God for this. Thank God that we can give it to Him to carry. And that He will! And that He does. Sending anyone struggling, peace and good thoughts and a reminder that God loves you so very, very much ♥
This is the most loving response to the abuse epidemic that I have ever heard. Thank you.
There is an epidemic. I feel it’s a reflection of the mental health of the person largely responsible for it -men.
love it how theres a reply to your comment but i can't see it :/
I agree 💗🙏
What a beautiful message especially coming from a man of God. I don't see this often unfortunately. But i pray and believe it will happen more. 👏💖
Sadly, my emotional abuser controlled me for a long time and so did three spouses. I felt worthless due to childhood parental abuses. It took me decades to place value on myself. Thank you Jesus! Thank you God and the Holy Spirit! The grief never goes away because of what might have been. 😢
I was abused in my childhood, pray healing love for me and my loved ones. 💖🌺🙏
You’re not alone - I was too and as an adult 🤗
Same here😢
This just showed up in my feed today & I needed it. I was abused by my mother my whole life...as I was growing up and as her adult live-in caregiver. My mother stop at nothing to hurt me.
The sad part is there are millions of us...adult children who at some point figure out that we were brainwashed to accept the abuse by a parent to just find out much later in life (late 40's, 50's and up) that we were abuse & used by someone who should have loved us the most and the worst part is we blame ourselves.
Thank you, Pastor Mike. I believe God gave me this today to let me know that I am not to blame and I am loved. I never felt loved my whole life like so many survivors.
We are loved. We are enough. We are not alone. We have Jesus who loves us the most.
Thank you for speaking about this horrific topic & giving us hope.
God bless you.🙏🩷
Thank you for this message. I have saved it to my playlist. After leaving an abusive marriage, I was shocked to hear my abuser's men's group leader quoting scripture to tell me to return and submit. Disappointingly, after I became free, I have had repeated encounters with survivors where they share their fear that God is mad at them for ending an abusive marriage and/or abusers blaspheming the Word to try to perpetuate and justify their abuse. Your message is desperately needed. Thank you.
I second your thought.
This is me. I felt like God hated me for unanswered prayers for my ex husband. Now I feel like God hates me for leaving him. To get through the pain in the past I had a mantra I would repeat to myself as I cried to try to get through it was "you don't matter" until I became numb enough.
It hit me hard when you said "It's not your fault". I blame myself for everything that happened... It hurts that I was treated horribly from 3 years old to even 25. It hurts because I keep being blamed... And even I kept getting blamed. I'm scared all the time and I'm worried about everything...
Here are some resources on abuse: timeofgrace.org/abuse/ Praying you will find these to be helpful as you heal!
Hi, Vaporwing. You are describing " scapegoating", you are being mistreated because you were assigned the role of the scapegoat in your family. And NO, it's not your fault !! It's always parents or other family members who assign a role like this. This happens to children who are usually the result of an unwanted pregnancy. I've seen this, experienced it- until I departed the family,never to return. You do have the option of going no- contact,if this is what you want. Sometimes relatives are willing to go to therapy,and work on changing things. Most dysfunctional families choose not to though, especially the narcissist types. It's odd how most churches will side with abusers over the victims ! If you've been attending a church that keeps you in this victim state, you can leave. We can't hate people, but we don't have to be around them anymore either. Forgiveness and reconciliation are NOT the same thing.
Sorry you suffered, I too suffered. The Bible says forgive those who abuse you. They were ignorant, possessed by demons. Only bad comes from Satan. Sad, my abuser continued some level of abuse in my adulthood up to 30’s. She never knew God. Just carrying on a generational curse, doing what she learned and was aloud to get away with. It still saddens me. Getting therapy
@@JulieSevelson-nb9nj I agree with most of what you said, but please don’t spread misinformation about unwanted pregnancy. I know that can be the case in some situations such as my oldest nephew. But in my case, my mom said that she always wanted a girl and yet, she still goes along with the misogyny displayed by my brothers, dad and the generations before her. I used to think she was lying about wanting a girl, but now I don’t. I think she just couldn’t overcome the sexism and misogyny of multiple generations.
And also, she is so grateful for my middle brother even though at the time she had anxiety because she already had my older brothers and was overwhelmed. In addition, I think my youngest brother was the original scapegoat but when he went no contact, my mom shifted it to me, and now I’m worried that she will shift it to my nieces and nephews, (her grandkids) yet she still hurts me every chance she gets. I have tried to go no contact but many people in the church will encourage me to keep contact with her. 🤷♀️
But if she does treat her grandkids as bad as she treats me then she deserves everything the Bible says about abusing young children. In fact, she already does. Because looking back, her abuse of me started in my childhood. I just couldn’t make sense of it at the time.
But even pregnancies that parents insist the wanted result in children that are victims of abuse. Sometimes they just want to have a child so they can abuse it.
Please know that you are loved.
I hope for a day when there will be a safe place for women like yourself to go in a quiet, restful, peaceful environment, where they can get their thoughts together for a month or so and not have to worry about finances while they gather themselves and decide what they need to do to move into a safe future.
I’m still in my situation due to not having a safe place to go in the finances to do so.
Stay strong and move forward in God’s leading.
My husband blames everyone except himself
I have lived with an abusive husband for almost 4 yrs now. My spirit is so heavy now that I am not sure I will ever survive this. I pray for him every night but it doesn't change. I leave and come back because financially I cannot move and also the guilt. Maybe I didnt try hard enough or I am a bad wife. This sermon touched my soul. I know if I do not make it out that I have Hid with me.
Hi Erica God loves you. Take action to grow closer to God. Focus on Him. Read verses about oppression n declare what God will do for you. Reach out for help.
God bless you -move on YOU DESERVE BETTER!❤️
Thank yall so much for words of encouragement and kindness. I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.
Your safety is your number 1 priority. He’s meant to keep you safe and he’s not doing that. There’s help out there, organisations that help women get out of domestic violent relationships- seek, find and get out.
Erica, leave. God can heal everything but he does not have to do it with you in the home or with you being subject to that. Listen again to this pastors wonderful message. God is not like your situation in fact he hates it. Live to please God first then man. Leave please.
I lived with an abusive husband for 8 years. It was physical, emotional and financial abuse, but on Sundays he would preach and go and evangelize after abusing me. I called the Cops on him and got a restraining order. Thank you Jesus
I can relate. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
With my experience it's harder with someone who maintains a semblance of godliness. It really makes one question oneself and everything. I even began to doubt God.
But Jesus is the only answer.
I'll keep you you in prayer. God bless.
You can't get a restraining order unless there's physical abuse. Emotional, psychological, verbal and severe gaslighting fear abuse is just as bad but not recognized. Thank God Almighty God recognizes it. Pray, and don't stop having faith and praying to God.
I pray to god for your outcome, 9 years for me.
@@UnityLove-tj3qg This is what im dealing with. I am continuing to pray daily. I know god will lead me the right way
Never give up. Rest and then keep trying to leave. Stay safe and ask God to protect and guide you out, never to look back.
Old times had lots of abuse too. Shara towards Hagar. Rachel towards her sister Leah. Jesus knew abuse too. All abuse is not fair but God sees it all and he will see us! Thank you Lord for getting it.
Amen…GOD SEES ALL I PRAY HE REAPS HIS VENGEANCE ON ALL THOSE WHO ENGAGE IN ABUSE.
Thank you Pastor Mike, you are the only Pastor i know that talks about abuse. I been a Christian for over ten years. The Pastors where i live in NewJersey never talked about abuse at all. I went to the Pastors to let them know that i been abused by my parents since they are Narcissists. The Pastors told me to pray about it and deal with it. I been praying for them for years . I left those Christian churches. I finally found a great Christian church and pastor who cares about this people and is supportive.
Thank you, I really needed it. My mother was abusive, I'm dealing with cptsd because of that, she always repeated to me to shut up and gaslighted me, because I had to honor my abusers. Twisting the Bible to continue the abuse is very common.
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...you're so right, my dad used to quote 'spare the rod spoil the child' smh
Thank God for helping me to not continue the pattern of abuse running through my family
Thank you pastor for making this clear. I grew up with verbally abusive relatives, a narcissist mother and a verbally dismissive ex husband. I also came across several toxic employers. I thought I had to accept and just deal with such trials of life.
🙏🙏 🙏 May God heal you and your parents!
I have been in a relationship for 26 years ,
Not married and I have been run through the mill . I am mean right back at him . I have been chest butted by him twice and hurt bad enough that I had to have surgery on my low back ,found cocaine a couple of weeks ago , I have a horse 🐎 and a cat .
Limited income . I keep😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏asking God what have I done to deserve this ??? I don’t understand ? I am so broken by this , He has made me the woman that I have turned into now and I can not keep continuing to have to live like this . May God have Mercy on me 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for this message. I tried to get help from my former church, but i was not believed. I was looked at in anger, it hurt so much. I left the church and decided to stop believing in God for 3 days. I was so lonely i cried out to him, the abuse has not stopped but i live in hope and ask God to help me get my finances in order so that i can leave the abuse and be free.
Hello, Muzalak. Your church failed both you and God by treating you that way !! They should have rescued you instead. You don't have to stay with this person,you can live seperately. The husband is winning,by acting as he does. He may have seen his father doing the same thing to his mother growing up,but that is NO excuse ! He needs therapy to help him overcome his own abusive childhood. In the meantime, you are free to leave the house and not return. I don't know what the future holds , and am no marriage expert, but one should not live under the same roof with an abuser, be it a spouse,parents,etc. If you can try to join a support group for victims of domestic abuse,you will feel much less alone and scared. Those didn't exist when I was younger. It's so wrong what happened to you !
I was abused from my father as a young child, I hated it, it hurt me deeply! He told me he was preparing me for when I got married, I knew he was lying but couldn’t escape! I’m 61 now and God has helped me to forgive and leave my dad up to him. I prayed for him to find forgiveness. Don’t know if he did. God says He will be a Father to the fatherless. He was!
Been trying to find a video of a sermon regarding abuse for months.. this happened to come on my page. This greatly blessed me thank you.
Thank you for this message. Very touching. I just (finally) cut ties with my abusive mom and I seek peace and healing in Jesus. Be blessed 😊
Amen. After being abused by my mother, and experiencing molestation from people I trusted as a child it's such a blessing to know that Jesus gets it. I asked God this question, if he ever thinks of me or if he ever thought of me when my mother was raped and then conceived me. But I believe he was watching and 23 years later he still is. ❤
Hi, Notoncube. You don't have to continue to be abused or mistreated by your mother. You can leave and have friends be your family,if you want to. Forgiveness and reconciliation are totally different situations. Many do forgive,but leave and move on with their lives. Hatred is sinful, but leaving isn't.
Holy shit!!! You wrote MY STORY!!! WE are CHILDREN OF RAPE, here it IS. OMGOODNESS
I’m not a child of rape, but I think my mom hates me because I remind her of my cheating father.
It’s definitely weird about the victim of our father’s, our mother can now be the one making us the victim.
When we focus on our pain, we lose focus on our purpose. We are called to forgive, repent, pray. LORD HELP US TO KEEP OUR EYES FIXED ON YOU AND YOUR WORD 🙏🏼
I did this for years and the pain fee and became debilitating. Would you tell someone with a broken leg, “Forget about your leg. Just keep running and serving.” The more they ran the more excruciating the pain would become.
The Bible says to cast our care on Him, for He cares for us. The Bible says (even if parents abuse us) when my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. He gave me that verse one time, when I was young (it jumped out at me), and it was like I felt His arm around me and I heard Him say, "I see what's going on, I understand, and I care". Yes, I am to forgive (and have) and He says to forgive, but there's a lot of verses in the Bible, not just one, and at the time He said that to me, the focus was that He told me He cared. Sometimes, we forget that God cares for our hurts at the same time that we are forgiving those that hurt us.
Thank you for Preaching, please don't ever stop preaching about this. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you for addressing a private and public health epidemic. Thank you for naming abuse what it is, a sin. Furthermore, thank you for letting the human race know how God feels about abuse.
I needed this I have been abused just about all of my life and I am thankful to jesus for all of his love
I need your prayers!...
Thank you for preaching God's word and for this message ❤💔
We will certainly be praying, and please also feel free to submit requests directly to our Prayer Team here: timeofgrace.org/pray/. Also please feel free to check out these additional resources on abuse: .timeofgrace.org/abuse/
I always love hearing that Jesus knows us and our struggles thank you
I finally feel seen after dealing with abuse for several months. It scares me to tell other Christian’s about it because they seem to always justify it or excuse it. I’m finally healing and moving on but I been hesitant to go back to the church. Thank you for seeing us Pastor!
My adopted mom physically abused me & my brother my adopted dad didn't believe me & basically told me if I didn't take it back I wouldn't be part of the family... basically abandoning me. Then my separated husband put hands on me multiple xs & I tried to forgive him because the bible says to forgive & he told me to also & he left anyway & started sleeping with another woman. He hasn't even filed for divorce yet. I believe all this happened to make me depend only on God bcuz I wasn't raised in the bible. He's my true family. Being abandoned by 2 families is beyond painful... and my husband... but God's all i need.
I’m so sorry ❤️
Being is God’s family is the best. If you can break away from your natural family, you should consider that. You might not have to stay away forever but distance while you are healing is a good thing. Shalom.
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This has brought me to tears. I cannot find it in me to feel for myself when I know others are suffering too. I pray for us. I pray we keep seeking the lord and walk the path of righteousness. It is not easy. We have to loose to win.
Thanks for this great and powerful message! May the Lord heal all who are suffering, all who have been abused and all who are abusive 🙏🙏🙏
No one preaches this enough, thanks for sharing this. From Essex England
Thank you for talking about this and exposing it.
Thank you Sir, for acknowledging these people. I wish there were more Pastors like yourself. Truly a blessing to the World
The church shames victims who want to divorce and then tempt those who finally gain the courage and wisdom to leave with hope that gets them stuck back in the cycle of abuse. Of course I don’t want to divorce but I have to. Getting shamed or being told God can change one who is unrepentant and unwilling is not godly.
Yes, please tell me what happened in your situation?
This is my first time hearing you, pastor. You moved me deeply with this topic. Truly a God inspired sermon. Thank you for your frankness. May God continue to bless you and our church 🙏 We will meet in heaven one day.
Thank you for bringing out this biblical truth. Many Pastors don't understand the intricacies of abuse and would only advice the abused victim usually the wife to "submit to the husband". It's a dangerous advice without showing care and compassion to those who are enduring an abusive spouse.
The worship team were really good but I'm distracted with the Lady with ripped jeans. We are called to dress modestly as Christians and I hope the church/Pastor will address this way of dressing in the church.
Thank you and it should be addressed more In Jesus Name Amen 🙏
So thankful for you Pastor for finding courage and strength to confront this evil that is so rampant in the Church. Blind eyes everywhere pretending to not see because they are to cowardly to confront this evil. May this series bless, encourage, strengthen and protect all those who hear it, in Jesus name.
I was Led here. Thank you so much for sharing the message God put on your heart 💗
Very helpful and necessary message. I've never heard a pastor speak on abuse before! Thank you!!
Am so grateful to find this two years later.
Thank you for speaking about this hell on earth.
I’m looking at this video today because my pastor is teaching unconditional forgiveness . All what she said leaves the unchanged criminal to continue to victimize more children or domestic violence to continue and escalate. Thanks for the only voice out there for the church that actually wants to love and protect victims.
@loissemanek1715 forgiveness is not the same as trust or reconciliation. We can forgive people, but they still need consequences. Jesus always chose the victims and called out the abusers (Pharisees). Praying you find a good church!!
This made me cry. Left my verbally and mentally abused husband 9 months ago. 37yrs of marriage. I opened up to my pastor who abandoned me. My husband is a covert narcissist and is very convincing. He was a monster to me at home
So sorry to hear that you were in an abusive marriage for so long. We pray you have been able to begin the healing process. For more resources to help, please visit timeofgrace.org/abuse. We hope these will be encouraging to you as you recover and find peace. God's blessings!
I really enjoyed this Sermon. I agree with every word of it. I have experienced every type of abuse, and I know so many others have as well. Trust me, I know that there are people that have had it much worse, but I do believe mine was pretty bad, and it's still going on. Abusers never change...FACT. BUT, ANOTHER FACT IS, GOD, JESUS, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL NEVER STOP LOVING US. As long as I have their love, that is all that matters. Amen to this Service, and thank you for the words that you shared. They meant a lot to me. 😇😇😇
God bless your heart for going there, this message is desperately needed in the body of Christ, praise God and the Holy Spirit for leading you to talk on this, I would absolutely love to visit your church one day 🙏
Thankyou for teaching on this, it’s rare to hear any man of faith preaching on this topic bc soooooo many people live this daily and are told to stay and stick it out with their spouse.
Whoa - powerful. And very moving. On behalf of many, thank you Pastor Mike. Amen!
Thank you thank you THANK YOU !!!!!!!
you are helping so many battered women and their children.
Please keep speaking out like this please dont forget us we need pastors who will help us not tell us to "be forgiving and a better woman and mother"
Thank you so much
This….right….here!!! Thank you for your honesty on this issue!!!
this gives me so much comfort thank you pastor
👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏 Beautiful message! Thank you for preaching on this painful topic.
Someone who.is abusive is choosing to act out the deeds of the enemy. These people aren't Godly/ with God. The bible says numerous times that we are to distance ourselves from these people. Why go along/ protect/befriend the enemy? It is God who we should follow..
Thank you so much|. I pray that every single abused brother or sister in Christ finds (along with myself) comfort in our God's Grace and finds specially the Gift of Forgiveness that only He can give us. I love you all brothers and sisters. Thank you Pastor, God bless you by tons!!!!
I am happy that you talked about this thank you so much pastor🙌
Strange how this video comes to me, when I have just been blaming myself. Sadly to comfort got into another relationship & left my marriage. It made things worse. Today I’m labelled as being selfish etc. No one knows the truth. I have repented etc but my marriage is broken. I know Jesus will change my spouse’s stone heart. Please pray for me
Thank you Pastor, for doing this with grace and humility. God spoke through you and said what desperately needed to be said🙏🏼
Thank you. I've never felt more heard.
Thank you SO much
❤PRICELESS AND TIMELESS MESSAGE, TRULY SPIRIT FILLED ENDLESS LOVE IN OUR LORD'S LIVING LOVING WORD, GLORY BE HIS NAME FOREVER IN OUR WALK IN HIS GRACE, AMEN
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
This reduces me to tears
Thank you for sharing this 🙏 I felt guilt after putting boundaries against abusive father 😢
What you need to know about LITTLE ONES, is that it not only applies to children per se but ANYONE who is little/insignificant in power, status, influence etc
This was pure and sincere!
May God bless the pastor and bless the sheep in this ministry.
May deliverance break out and the love of the Father be present!
I pray He blesses this church !
In Jesus name!
Amen 💓
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Thank you for this message. You truly touched my heart.
My best friend stayed in an abusive relationship for more than 20 years and, after finally allowing herself to separate from him for the last year, he returned and tried to use God's name to guilt her into going back to it. Sadly, she did it because she loves God with all her heart and all she's ever heard is that the only reason for divorce is adultery. Myself and several others talked to her about it and mentioned much of what you said here but she went back. It's heartbreaking.
My Lord help her😢
JESUS LOVES YOU AND GOD 💕.
Thank you for this sermon..it can be so very difficult to believe God loves us and wants us.
I really appreciate the honesty of your sermon and experience
Watching from Philippines and I just stumbled in This video and it blessed me tremendously.. thank you pastor Mike😇🙏
My Pastor isn't this welcoming, I love this.
Thank you for showing where in the scripture how God feels about abuse. This should be a much more common message preached constantly
Thank you.
Thank you for caring this much God bless you
Thank you and God bless you for sharing the truth.
Thank you for talking about this i know i left a comment previously. Its just cause of me experiencing parental abuse i watched this. How can parents abuse their kids. Just dont have kids if you hate them. Its so sad people like them exist. God will bring justice🙌
I today got away from my abuser. It was my last beat down I can take… right before I got into action to leave after he was forcing me to drive him somewhere punching me as I drove moving my wheel so I’d lose control of the car and the beats to my head… I screamed out for god I told him I just can’t take it anymore to forgive me but I have to pull over and force him out the car I can’t take him anymore. And I did so and I walked away unharmed and my car intact. You saying god hates the abuser is amazing it has made me realize this is true… why love someone who god doesn’t like himself or what he does? It’s crazy. This is all so crazy.
I’m so sorry ❤️
Wow yeah this really spoke to me as someone who’s gone through domestic violence.