Im really proud of you for talking about these things and breaking the cycle👏👏👏 This makes others have the courage to speak. One of my biggest fears is to fall in love with a man like my father💔
'Same' here. Kinda. Of course not exactly the same. Grandfather (but father of my father) was an alcoholic and this definitely influenced the whole family in a bad way. Also he could be very aggressive and extremly violent when he was intoxicated. Both sides of the family (father and mother) are in my opiniom highly dysfuntional and also have a history of transgenerational trauma (the family is quite big). I mean, both of my parents and their siblings suffer or suffered from - in my opinion - mental illness, addiction and just were 'dysfunctional' in different ways. Just my two cents. I am out if this system for many, many years because I couldn't get along with it and did not want to be treated the way I had been for many, many years (since childhood, of course). There also was NO CHANCE to get things clear and talk about it with my parents. They are living in their bubble - just need it to be perfect, they didn't ever make any mistake and blaming me. So I am the black sheep. (Good for me, that I love black (of course I am a little sarcastic here). I am just the one who isn't thankful for their 'love and all they did for me'. Right, they did 'give me some nice gifts to work on and to grow over' as long as I live, I guess. The believe they did their best and never ever sth. wrong and I owe love and gratitude to them all my life and as long as theirs will last. Might sound rough and really was a long process for me, BUT: I do not owe anything to anybody! Besides money I borrowed or to keep my promisses (even there could be circumstances which lead to breaking light promisses). I owe respect to people who really do care about me, trust me and treat me with love and respect. I owe love and respect to myself and treating myself with understanding, empathy and endulgance. I owe it to myself and my children and future generations not to make the same mistakes and break this dysfunctional cycle and just work on myself - for me and others, so to say. For peace and love - inside and outside, so to say. I hope you will find a way to maybe heal the connection with your mother and even get closer with brother and talk, talk and talk with him and just walk straight on your path, conciously and in awareness, not roughness but patience and with selflove and growing trust in yourself and the ones who really care and love you. Much love 🖤💜🖤!
I am sorry to hear so but I can quite relate to it indeed. I also understand your choice in stepping away. If the family isn't able to give you a 'safe and right place' its better to create it yourself and be proud of that.
Im really proud of you for talking about these things and breaking the cycle👏👏👏
This makes others have the courage to speak.
One of my biggest fears is to fall in love with a man like my father💔
'Same' here. Kinda. Of course not exactly the same. Grandfather (but father of my father) was an alcoholic and this definitely influenced the whole family in a bad way. Also he could be very aggressive and extremly violent when he was intoxicated. Both sides of the family (father and mother) are in my opiniom highly dysfuntional and also have a history of transgenerational trauma (the family is quite big). I mean, both of my parents and their siblings suffer or suffered from - in my opinion - mental illness, addiction and just were 'dysfunctional' in different ways. Just my two cents. I am out if this system for many, many years because I couldn't get along with it and did not want to be treated the way I had been for many, many years (since childhood, of course). There also was NO CHANCE to get things clear and talk about it with my parents. They are living in their bubble - just need it to be perfect, they didn't ever make any mistake and blaming me. So I am the black sheep. (Good for me, that I love black (of course I am a little sarcastic here). I am just the one who isn't thankful for their 'love and all they did for me'. Right, they did 'give me some nice gifts to work on and to grow over' as long as I live, I guess. The believe they did their best and never ever sth. wrong and I owe love and gratitude to them all my life and as long as theirs will last.
Might sound rough and really was a long process for me, BUT: I do not owe anything to anybody! Besides money I borrowed or to keep my promisses (even there could be circumstances which lead to breaking light promisses). I owe respect to people who really do care about me, trust me and treat me with love and respect. I owe love and respect to myself and treating myself with understanding, empathy and endulgance. I owe it to myself and my children and future generations not to make the same mistakes and break this dysfunctional cycle and just work on myself - for me and others, so to say. For peace and love - inside and outside, so to say.
I hope you will find a way to maybe heal the connection with your mother and even get closer with brother and talk, talk and talk with him and just walk straight on your path, conciously and in awareness, not roughness but patience and with selflove and growing trust in yourself and the ones who really care and love you.
Much love 🖤💜🖤!
I am sorry to hear so but I can quite relate to it indeed. I also understand your choice in stepping away. If the family isn't able to give you a 'safe and right place' its better to create it yourself and be proud of that.
@@post.mischa