The Showing Up of Corporal Jones Series 1 Episode 13

we present arthur lowe, john, the measurer and clive dunn in dad's army episode, 13, the showing up of corporal jones featuring john larry and arnold ridler, with this week's guests, graham stark and jack watson. Here is the news, and this is jon snag reading it.
It is the summer of 1940 and the nazi invasion of our homeland looms ever Present, but always on the alert and ready for a fair fight. Is that stalwart band of men, the home guard at warmington on sea, the local platoon is assembling as usual for the evening parade in the side office of the church hall sergeant, wilson is alone. Listening to the wireless [ Music ], germany calling germany calling Germany calling here are the right center on bush station.
Why are you listening to that all right, i'll turn it off i'd, only just uh switch it on and that's how it was tuned. You see it's the as vicar's as good heavens, but it must be a mistake. Obviously, all the same, I have to watch him that sermon of his own son.
He was pretty seditious, not really. I didn't notice Anything sir, but hitler just the other side of the channel. He could have chosen a better subject than the passing of the waves.
Hello, wilson, major regan from area hq, is paying us a visit today. Oh yeah, sir. I expect it's because we're on coast watch tonight, if you look at the map, you'll see that we're responsible for the section from stone's amusement arcade to the jolly roger pier.
Yes, sir, that's Right now that pier is our weak point. We'd better put our best man. There now who's you've got in reserve.
Oh there's godfrey and fraser, sir who's, the better of the two in your judgment in the ordinary way of things, uh godfrey. Unfortunately, he has this uh bladder trouble, yes, a little risky. Yes, the invasion might start while he had his back Turned phrases.
They are by the way, are the men ready for parade? Oh yes, sir right, it's normal, sir, mr speaker, not now jones get the men falling in. Oh, oh, very good, sir right, sir. The two get now I have an announcement, mrs samways.
The guidance has requested that, when doing arms drill in the guide hut, the order slope arms will not be given with fixed barons. At the points of your bearings, went Straight through the felt roof and now, when it rains, she has to send half the troop home. I can get hold of some roofing filth.
If she wants some mind, you will cluster. Yes. Thank you.
Mr samuels also mentioned that her assistant, mrs beckwith, was followed home last night by one of our men, whom she alleges flashed an unobscured torch on her legs and said, cool. Look at them. Gamma rules.
It's not funny, that's not the sort of thing. I want to hear about my unit walker jones pike, you're officer of the time i'm not going to ask you who it was, but don't let it happen again permission to speak, sir justin, but I wanted permission to speak about before sir. I wanted to own up.
It was me, i'm surprised that you don't yes, I know. So I don't know what come over me. I mean It's most, embarrassing for a young girl and suppose it had been.
Mrs semways, I wouldn't have bothered violence. Thank you. Wilson now pay attention.
Tonight we take over the defense of a vulnerable stretch of our beloved land. Tonight we are responsible for england between the jolly roger pier to the west and stones amusement arcade to the east. I've collected you somewhat earlier tonight, because major regan of area hq is going to pay as a visit, and it's quite on the cards that he may give us a snap inspection.
So I think we should all be well advised to check our weapons and generally smarten ourselves up fold them in out. Copper turns up. Listen, I think we'd do well to go into the office and check our own weapons, all right, sir.
How do you sin? Thank you. Let's see what we've got water bottle. Gas mask knife knuckle duster bicycle chain, kosh sandwiches.
I wonder what elizabeth has put in them. Oh dear spam, again, look she put some pickle in. Ah, yes, good mango chutney made with carrots.
Wonderful Strawberry jam also made with carrots uh good evening, i'm major regan. Oh, how do you do that? This is sergeant wilson good evening sergeant three reserve. I couldn't help noticing, as I came through the hall just now - mannering the rather casual attitude of the men.
Oh, no, sir, no, no, there's nothing casual about my men. I can assure you. The discipline here is absolutely first of all, Hey! Oh mr man, I need to forgot uh half a dozen eggs, uh, half a pound block of milk chocolate.
Oh and he's your sergeant wilson uh, you can settle up with me later. Haven't you forgotten something uh you'll have to wait. Your turn mate i'll.
Take your order in a minute. You've forgotten to salute. There are two officers present walker.

[@joedent3323]

Thanks for this :)
Merry Xmas 2022
...JoE...

[@petercdowney]

I liked the original better, when Jones fires the rifle:
Major Reagan: I don't suppose you've ever fired it?
Jones: _(fires the rifle)_ I have now, Sir.