Mate you didn't waste a year of your life at all, much the opposite. You spent a year learning important lessons, about life and about yourself. There is no set path, and one of the most important lessons to learn is that the expectations that society seems to set are not realistic or even real, everyone is unique and life is not a prescribed A, B, C of achievements. What you've experienced is actually very common when coming of age, everyone experiences the loss of friends and familiar faces when leaving school, it's common to feel lonely at that point in life. You've learned that planning things is perhaps not as important as doing them. I also did a gap year (though slightly differently, I never went to uni, did an apprenticeship and then quit after 3 years to travel when I was 22), and even though I'd had planned out some big trips and had ideas of how I'd do it, I ended up just making sure I had a chunk of money in the bank and jumping on a plane without anything more than a few days booked at a hostel in one country and two weeks booked at a hostel in another, from there I spent 9 months just going with the wind - and that's how life is. You find that most of the time, when you plan things, they don't ever work out the way you envisioned them. It's important to plan, but it's more important to learn to go with the flow and tackle situations as they arise. On the contrary to your thoughts, you will now go on to do your studies, and indeed you could work part time while you study, but when it comes to getting a job having that real world experience on your CV will help you more than you realise. Completely regardless of the field you end up in, no matter how specialised it is, a years' work experience coming out of school even in hospitality or retail says to a recruiter "this person is employable". You still have time to travel, if that's what you want to do (and it's a good idea, broadening your experience and horizons is always a good idea), you could still get a short backpacking holiday in before uni starts in September (really, even on a budget, no harm in grabbing a budget flight and hostel hopping around Europe for 6 weeks), or indeed just save and do a bigger trip in a few years which will give you something to work towards and look forward to - and being a few more years into adulthood will give you that bit more confidence and ability to carry yourself in sometimes risky situations you may find yourself in as a backpacker in far flung places. You should consider your finances. I don't know how many hours you've been working your minimum wage job, but you said you're living rent free currently and with your meals provided too. So where's all the money you're earning going? If you're working like 16 hours a week, it's understandable that it evaporates, but if you're doing a 36 hour week that's £15k annually after tax - that's plenty of money to get going with. When it comes to working on yourself, say going to the gym, once again it's all good and well having a plan, but the plan is the least important bit. The most important bit is just getting in the door. The rest doesn't even matter, because it will all follow naturally. Just make your goal to get there 3 days a week and do what you can. Getting up is the hardest bit, after that the rest is easy. Same with all of it, actually. Getting started is the hardest bit. So don't think about it. Just get up one morning and do it without thinking, because what's the worst that could happen? Good luck with it all!
Don't worry mate. I left college in 2019 and only started university in 2021. 2 gap years with lockdowns on top! As you can imagine, I didn't really get up to much. I was absolutely miserable and shared the exact same sentiment as you during those years. For me, seeing all my peers develop far past me sucked as I have a competetive nature. Despite the misery, I wouldn't say I regretted it. I think I wouldn't have been able to succeed in my degree without the maturity I gained; I simply wouldn't have taken it seriously enough. Nowadays I have graduated and got a degree-related job I'm passionate about. Going into uni you will be more mature than others. Turning your frustration at "wasting" this year into a drive to make the most of the next 3 at uni is the move. You have your offer; you've lost nothing. In fact, I am sure you will appreciate and make more of your undergrad than the vast majority. Best of luck!
This is not the fault of the gap year. It's the fault of you. That realization is the first step towards a better life. I believe in you. The real question is, do you? You are able-bodied and young. Employ it! 😃
The fact that you recognize the importance of taking action (and understand what it feels like when you don't) so early in your life after only a year makes it not a waste in my view. It doesn't just apply to gap years either. Many people go 2, 5, 10+ years in that situation / feeling. Progress is not always linear so one bad year doesn't mean the next year(s) will be also be bad (and one good year doesn't ensure the success of the next). Taking action towards the things we want for ourselves is a lifelong task.
mate, i had my gap year partly bc my predicted grades were hot ass, but my actual were much better so i had to apply w them. be grateful you have a job at least, i personally with some travelling haven't been able to really find a job recently since June. But try and perceive what you actually learnt about life. Because when I can sit down and actually reflect, I feel much more mature than before, and i'm still grateful for it. Don't get me wrong, it was a drag as hell
@cluttrfnk and OP - I can echo this. I graduated in 2008 when the GFC was unfolding. Ended up teaching English for a year (7 months actually) then doing a MSc. Waiting for the English teaching job to materialise was a drag. Be careful with TEFL - it can help to sustain some intentional travel but it's famous for exploiting teachers. Partly because native English knowledge is the only qualification - don't be a "loser back home". Party is over in China for TEFL /@serpentza aka Winston had alot of fun and learnt Chinese at the same time. Now TEFL in popular destinations do look for some formal teaching experience. Create a plan ahead of time - be "smart". Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time focused.
i took a gap year because i failed my a levels , dont listen to the dross the guidance counseler said, they know nothing about your situation. All you're doing do joining the workforce early I was lucky enough that the year I graduated I made 100k. so that more than made up for whatever lost time I had before. A year out was the best thing that ever happened in my life
@@abrahamshaji2236 hey there, I was in the same position as this guy and retook my a levels, got into physics with a foundation year and i'm basically 3 years behind now and going into year 2 of my degree. I have big ambitions and plans now and hopefully the type of graduate salary I could make will more than make up for those years.
You are just getting started bro. You will have setbacks, ruts, successes, wins and losses. Life is not linear and it sounds like you have experienced this first hand. You may not have come to these conclusions if you went straight into university. I didn't have my first major rut until 23-25 and then again at 28-30. I am 31 now and feel like the world is at my fingertips. I have no doubt I will fuck up again and feel like a failure but this is part of life. The lessons we learn in these ruts take us into the next phase of our life with valuable (but harsh) insights that we won't discover otherwise. Something you said stood out. You mentioned the importance of having a plan. I couldn't agree more. You had goals for your gap year but you never had a plan. How were you going to lose weight? What was your schedule for posting content? When were you going to travel and to where? How much money were you going to have saved and how much were you going to save each month? If you had decided these things before going into your gap year, you would've had a much clearer path. Again, this is a life lesson. Most people run off a standard plan of going straight into university after high school. The plan is laid out for them. What courses to take, what assignments and projects to do and basically a 4 year outline of their life. When they finish they are completely lost because they didn't make a plan for what came next other than "getting a job". Think of your future self and what career you want to be in. He will thank you for it ;)
I took a gap year out of college and then, I realize I shouldn't stay too much on my comfort zone and start studying for dmv so I can drive to college or earn money to live in a dorm which is the most hardest thing for me I couldn't do all of those is cuz of the over-comfortness of my zone is becoming a real issue for me and my mentality rate is starting to degrade (insanity) due to unhealthy habits I'm doing. Want to change that and pretty much touch some grass regain a healthy life style habits (good mentality) back like who I once before than just sitting around doing nothing, just making videos to try to get money n profit.
Hey Tom, I just saw this. I'd love to talk to you more about this if you'd fancy. I went to University in London and then went to UCLA. Would love to help out and mentor you if I can! I am only 24 so just got out of university.
I've just finished uni (without a gap year but I did a placement year working) and I can tell you that there is no right option. All experience can be used in a good way and it's about sustainability not immediate success. The grass is greener and appreciating the moment is what it is all about imo. Go to uni and take all the opportunities to better your life that you can, you're young and on a good path
I think it’s good to be persistent on goals, however-the economy sucks right now just like post 2008 recession, and it’s very hard to find your career degree when no one is hiring. I know older millennials who where stuck in factory, retail, or warehouse jobs for years before they got into their desired career because of the job market, and its the same nowadays. Stocking shelves at Walmart might suck but it’s better to have a job than no job. And I don’t think it’s going to get any better in the near future. so all I can say is test the waters and look around, always have a back up plan because your degree career might not come as soon as you think it will.
You've still got time till September. If you have saved a little bit of money, you can still do some travel. Buy an interrail pass or plane ticket, go wherever you want to go, stay in random hostels. Doesn't matter if you travel for a week for a year, but do it while you can.
none of this is to do with the gap year, so many of my colleagues are 30+ "wasting their years away" post uni and this is just life where nobody holds you accountable for what you say vs what you do
Just focusing on one aspect of your video, as a person who was obese and lost more than 30 KG, if I may give you a suggestion: If you want to lose weight, the only thing that you need to forget about is losing weight. You just need two things: 1. healthy eating habits and 2. regular exercise and forget about losing weight. Fuck that and DEFINITELY forget about forcing yourself to eat healthy or do exercise that you don't enjoy. That is not healthy at all... that just puts a lot of unnecessary mental pressure on you. Focus on finding healthy diet that YOU LIKE and regular exercises that you ENJOY. Forget everyone, forget everything and start exploring. Maybe you like boxing, maybe running, maybe martial arts, maybe dancing or maybe some niche unique traditional exercise for a small country that no one has ever heard of before. start educating yourself on how food industries sneak in weight gaining ingredients like sugar to certain stuff and start getting healthier options that you ENJOY eating. This is key! Anyone can break their sanity just doing difficult exercises and diets only to lose weight and then eventually either go back to what they were before or suffer for the rest of their lives. You shouldn't do that! You should explore and find the healthy options that make you happy and that make you want to continue eating them! You shouldn't eat unhealthy stuff but in small amounts, you should eat and get full but with healthy stuff.... start training your brain to find and listen to the voice of your body... by having unhealthy habits, we have forgotten that our bodies know exactly what it needs and can let you know. But we just need to train ourselves back to listening to our bodies. I wish you all the best and I insist: forget about losing weight, start exploring, the world is your oyster. :) (IN PARENTHESES: Do NOT be tricked by people who claim they have the miracle diet or the miracle exercise for you. No. You don't need miracles. Just change your life style little by little and don't be unkind to yourself or make yourself suffer)
As a recruiter mate, no one cares about your degree (Sorry) - A year of experience trumps a degree any day of the week in the working world. All you will be doing is becoming more in debt, more unemployable, and more upset that there has been time wasted. Discipline, none of us have it. Do the best you can in the smartest way you can.
should got into a job and sack uni off now, i also took a year out after college, still a year behind on salary because uni is kind of pointless unless its certain stem subjects
oh and also uni is far more lonely than at home, if that's your issue, trust me, get a job and stay home, i couldn't wait to get back from uni. You are with people, but its not proper like family is; very unlikely you will click with 95% flat mates
No that would be ridiculous Sheer lack of effort and commitment is the only factor fueled by me working at a fast food place for sometimes 60-70 hours a week instead of what I should have been working on Focuses being in the wrong place is the ultimate factor Im making some good early progress right now and am on a good trajectory Sorry if I didn’t communicate this well in the video:)
Mate you didn't waste a year of your life at all, much the opposite. You spent a year learning important lessons, about life and about yourself. There is no set path, and one of the most important lessons to learn is that the expectations that society seems to set are not realistic or even real, everyone is unique and life is not a prescribed A, B, C of achievements.
What you've experienced is actually very common when coming of age, everyone experiences the loss of friends and familiar faces when leaving school, it's common to feel lonely at that point in life. You've learned that planning things is perhaps not as important as doing them. I also did a gap year (though slightly differently, I never went to uni, did an apprenticeship and then quit after 3 years to travel when I was 22), and even though I'd had planned out some big trips and had ideas of how I'd do it, I ended up just making sure I had a chunk of money in the bank and jumping on a plane without anything more than a few days booked at a hostel in one country and two weeks booked at a hostel in another, from there I spent 9 months just going with the wind - and that's how life is. You find that most of the time, when you plan things, they don't ever work out the way you envisioned them. It's important to plan, but it's more important to learn to go with the flow and tackle situations as they arise.
On the contrary to your thoughts, you will now go on to do your studies, and indeed you could work part time while you study, but when it comes to getting a job having that real world experience on your CV will help you more than you realise. Completely regardless of the field you end up in, no matter how specialised it is, a years' work experience coming out of school even in hospitality or retail says to a recruiter "this person is employable".
You still have time to travel, if that's what you want to do (and it's a good idea, broadening your experience and horizons is always a good idea), you could still get a short backpacking holiday in before uni starts in September (really, even on a budget, no harm in grabbing a budget flight and hostel hopping around Europe for 6 weeks), or indeed just save and do a bigger trip in a few years which will give you something to work towards and look forward to - and being a few more years into adulthood will give you that bit more confidence and ability to carry yourself in sometimes risky situations you may find yourself in as a backpacker in far flung places.
You should consider your finances. I don't know how many hours you've been working your minimum wage job, but you said you're living rent free currently and with your meals provided too. So where's all the money you're earning going? If you're working like 16 hours a week, it's understandable that it evaporates, but if you're doing a 36 hour week that's £15k annually after tax - that's plenty of money to get going with.
When it comes to working on yourself, say going to the gym, once again it's all good and well having a plan, but the plan is the least important bit. The most important bit is just getting in the door. The rest doesn't even matter, because it will all follow naturally. Just make your goal to get there 3 days a week and do what you can. Getting up is the hardest bit, after that the rest is easy.
Same with all of it, actually. Getting started is the hardest bit. So don't think about it. Just get up one morning and do it without thinking, because what's the worst that could happen?
Good luck with it all!
I really appreciate this comment and the advice you gave, since it's pretty similar to my situation. Thanks for writing this.
Damn, really appriciate the fact you wrote this man
Don't worry mate. I left college in 2019 and only started university in 2021. 2 gap years with lockdowns on top! As you can imagine, I didn't really get up to much.
I was absolutely miserable and shared the exact same sentiment as you during those years. For me, seeing all my peers develop far past me sucked as I have a competetive nature. Despite the misery, I wouldn't say I regretted it. I think I wouldn't have been able to succeed in my degree without the maturity I gained; I simply wouldn't have taken it seriously enough. Nowadays I have graduated and got a degree-related job I'm passionate about.
Going into uni you will be more mature than others. Turning your frustration at "wasting" this year into a drive to make the most of the next 3 at uni is the move. You have your offer; you've lost nothing. In fact, I am sure you will appreciate and make more of your undergrad than the vast majority.
Best of luck!
This is not the fault of the gap year. It's the fault of you. That realization is the first step towards a better life. I believe in you. The real question is, do you? You are able-bodied and young. Employ it! 😃
The fact that you recognize the importance of taking action (and understand what it feels like when you don't) so early in your life after only a year makes it not a waste in my view. It doesn't just apply to gap years either. Many people go 2, 5, 10+ years in that situation / feeling. Progress is not always linear so one bad year doesn't mean the next year(s) will be also be bad (and one good year doesn't ensure the success of the next). Taking action towards the things we want for ourselves is a lifelong task.
mate, i had my gap year partly bc my predicted grades were hot ass, but my actual were much better so i had to apply w them. be grateful you have a job at least, i personally with some travelling haven't been able to really find a job recently since June. But try and perceive what you actually learnt about life. Because when I can sit down and actually reflect, I feel much more mature than before, and i'm still grateful for it. Don't get me wrong, it was a drag as hell
@cluttrfnk and OP - I can echo this.
I graduated in 2008 when the GFC was unfolding. Ended up teaching English for a year (7 months actually) then doing a MSc. Waiting for the English teaching job to materialise was a drag.
Be careful with TEFL - it can help to sustain some intentional travel but it's famous for exploiting teachers. Partly because native English knowledge is the only qualification - don't be a "loser back home". Party is over in China for TEFL /@serpentza aka Winston had alot of fun and learnt Chinese at the same time. Now TEFL in popular destinations do look for some formal teaching experience.
Create a plan ahead of time - be "smart". Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time focused.
i took a gap year because i failed my a levels , dont listen to the dross the guidance counseler said, they know nothing about your situation.
All you're doing do joining the workforce early
I was lucky enough that the year I graduated I made 100k. so that more than made up for whatever lost time I had before.
A year out was the best thing that ever happened in my life
did you take a year out and redo your a levels to go to university?
@@abrahamshaji2236 hey there, I was in the same position as this guy and retook my a levels, got into physics with a foundation year and i'm basically 3 years behind now and going into year 2 of my degree. I have big ambitions and plans now and hopefully the type of graduate salary I could make will more than make up for those years.
Don’t feel bad bro I had the same situation but you’ll sort it out I believe in you.
You are just getting started bro. You will have setbacks, ruts, successes, wins and losses. Life is not linear and it sounds like you have experienced this first hand. You may not have come to these conclusions if you went straight into university. I didn't have my first major rut until 23-25 and then again at 28-30. I am 31 now and feel like the world is at my fingertips. I have no doubt I will fuck up again and feel like a failure but this is part of life. The lessons we learn in these ruts take us into the next phase of our life with valuable (but harsh) insights that we won't discover otherwise.
Something you said stood out. You mentioned the importance of having a plan. I couldn't agree more. You had goals for your gap year but you never had a plan. How were you going to lose weight? What was your schedule for posting content? When were you going to travel and to where? How much money were you going to have saved and how much were you going to save each month? If you had decided these things before going into your gap year, you would've had a much clearer path. Again, this is a life lesson. Most people run off a standard plan of going straight into university after high school. The plan is laid out for them. What courses to take, what assignments and projects to do and basically a 4 year outline of their life. When they finish they are completely lost because they didn't make a plan for what came next other than "getting a job". Think of your future self and what career you want to be in. He will thank you for it ;)
I took a gap year out of college and then, I realize I shouldn't stay too much on my comfort zone and start studying for dmv so I can drive to college or earn money to live in a dorm which is the most hardest thing for me I couldn't do all of those is cuz of the over-comfortness of my zone is becoming a real issue for me and my mentality rate is starting to degrade (insanity) due to unhealthy habits I'm doing. Want to change that and pretty much touch some grass regain a healthy life style habits (good mentality) back like who I once before than just sitting around doing nothing, just making videos to try to get money n profit.
My comfort zone is gradually becoming too severe
Hey Tom,
I just saw this. I'd love to talk to you more about this if you'd fancy. I went to University in London and then went to UCLA. Would love to help out and mentor you if I can! I am only 24 so just got out of university.
I've just finished uni (without a gap year but I did a placement year working) and I can tell you that there is no right option. All experience can be used in a good way and it's about sustainability not immediate success. The grass is greener and appreciating the moment is what it is all about imo. Go to uni and take all the opportunities to better your life that you can, you're young and on a good path
I think it’s good to be persistent on goals, however-the economy sucks right now just like post 2008 recession, and it’s very hard to find your career degree when no one is hiring. I know older millennials who where stuck in factory, retail, or warehouse jobs for years before they got into their desired career because of the job market, and its the same nowadays. Stocking shelves at Walmart might suck but it’s better to have a job than no job. And I don’t think it’s going to get any better in the near future. so all I can say is test the waters and look around, always have a back up plan because your degree career might not come as soon as you think it will.
You've still got time till September. If you have saved a little bit of money, you can still do some travel. Buy an interrail pass or plane ticket, go wherever you want to go, stay in random hostels. Doesn't matter if you travel for a week for a year, but do it while you can.
none of this is to do with the gap year, so many of my colleagues are 30+ "wasting their years away" post uni and this is just life where nobody holds you accountable for what you say vs what you do
Just focusing on one aspect of your video, as a person who was obese and lost more than 30 KG, if I may give you a suggestion: If you want to lose weight, the only thing that you need to forget about is losing weight. You just need two things: 1. healthy eating habits and 2. regular exercise and forget about losing weight. Fuck that and DEFINITELY forget about forcing yourself to eat healthy or do exercise that you don't enjoy. That is not healthy at all... that just puts a lot of unnecessary mental pressure on you. Focus on finding healthy diet that YOU LIKE and regular exercises that you ENJOY. Forget everyone, forget everything and start exploring. Maybe you like boxing, maybe running, maybe martial arts, maybe dancing or maybe some niche unique traditional exercise for a small country that no one has ever heard of before. start educating yourself on how food industries sneak in weight gaining ingredients like sugar to certain stuff and start getting healthier options that you ENJOY eating. This is key! Anyone can break their sanity just doing difficult exercises and diets only to lose weight and then eventually either go back to what they were before or suffer for the rest of their lives. You shouldn't do that! You should explore and find the healthy options that make you happy and that make you want to continue eating them! You shouldn't eat unhealthy stuff but in small amounts, you should eat and get full but with healthy stuff.... start training your brain to find and listen to the voice of your body... by having unhealthy habits, we have forgotten that our bodies know exactly what it needs and can let you know. But we just need to train ourselves back to listening to our bodies. I wish you all the best and I insist: forget about losing weight, start exploring, the world is your oyster. :) (IN PARENTHESES: Do NOT be tricked by people who claim they have the miracle diet or the miracle exercise for you. No. You don't need miracles. Just change your life style little by little and don't be unkind to yourself or make yourself suffer)
As a recruiter mate, no one cares about your degree (Sorry) - A year of experience trumps a degree any day of the week in the working world.
All you will be doing is becoming more in debt, more unemployable, and more upset that there has been time wasted.
Discipline, none of us have it. Do the best you can in the smartest way you can.
good luck bro
It sounds like you were trying to live your entire life in that gap year but you cant condense everything into 12 months.
should got into a job and sack uni off now, i also took a year out after college, still a year behind on salary because uni is kind of pointless unless its certain stem subjects
oh and also uni is far more lonely than at home, if that's your issue, trust me, get a job and stay home, i couldn't wait to get back from uni. You are with people, but its not proper like family is; very unlikely you will click with 95% flat mates
Completely your fault mate. Things ain’t gonna happen for you
1:10 wait a second. Did you just blame taking a gap year is the reason you didn't lose weight?
No that would be ridiculous
Sheer lack of effort and commitment is the only factor fueled by me working at a fast food place for sometimes 60-70 hours a week instead of what I should have been working on
Focuses being in the wrong place is the ultimate factor
Im making some good early progress right now and am on a good trajectory
Sorry if I didn’t communicate this well in the video:)