Part 1 of 4-Breaking the Silence: My Story of Abuse by a Pastor

I want to share why it’s so important for me to speak openly about my experience. Abuse thrives in secrecy, and by sharing the detailed and conflicting things the pastor said and did to me, I’m shedding light on how manipulation, grooming, and isolation work. Some of the things he told me were extremely confusing because they included intimate details about his life and marriage that I should have never known. He even went as far as to inform me of his sexual intentions once I turned 18, which was profoundly inappropriate and deeply disturbing. This along with inappropriate physical interactions, and blurred boundaries, which left me feeling conflicted, confused, and unsure of who I could trust.
The significance of disclosing that this abuse was at the hands of a pastor, lies in the deep, spiritual and emotional damage caused by such betrayal, which could have shattered my faith entirely - and for a time, it did. Miraculously, through years of counseling, healing, and a deeper walk with Christ, I was able to overcome this pain and recognize that while men are flawed, God is not.
The Bible says it would be better for someone to tie a millstone around their neck and be drowned in the sea than to harm a child. Yet this man, who was supposed to represent God, betrayed that trust. And because of what he did to me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, it led me down a path of seeking validation and connection in ways I now recognize were influenced by the trauma. Still, my purpose in sharing is not revenge-I have no intention of naming him. The Bible reminds us that God will vindicate us, and justice is ultimately in His hands.
I also want to acknowledge that what I’m sharing may bring up hurt or trauma for some of you. Please take care of yourselves as you listen. If you are currently experiencing abuse, I encourage you to reach out to someone you trust-whether that’s a friend, family member, or professional resource. You are not alone, and there is hope and healing on the other side. My testimony will be shared in four parts-one each week over the next four weeks-so take your time if you need it.
I understand, too, that abuse by someone claiming to represent God can make people feel like He will betray them as well. But I want to assure you that God is not like man-He is perfect, faithful, and just. People may fail us, but God never will. My hope is that as you hear my story, it points you to Jesus. Without Him, I wouldn’t be here today. He has been my healer and strength, and His love never fails.
Everyone’s journey to healing is different, and it’s okay to take the time you need to process. If my testimony speaks to you or helps you in any way, I’d love to hear how it’s impacted you. Please feel free to leave a comment or private message me.
We are stronger when we walk through these things together.
Thank you for listening. I pray my story gives you hope, strength, and a reminder of the faithfulness of God.
Much love,
Monica
In Her Words 🤍