Artists VS Anxiety + Self Doubt
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- Опубліковано 6 жов 2022
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Artists VS Anxiety + Self Doubt - in this video we'll discuss the expected anxiety that will come from working as a professional artist. If you are having extreme depression, consult a self help specialist. I cured my depression through behavioral changes, Reading Stoic philosophy and drawing healthy boundaries with people. But your situation may require different treatment.
Mental health is a big issue these days. And there are a lot of different perspectives on it. Since I am not a professional therapist, I can most certainly only share my input from my own experience on this.
Games I've worked on -
Fortnite (Environment concept art)
Overwatch (Environment concept art + Sprays artwork)
League of Legends (Character design + Environment concept art, UI + Icons)
Diablo 3 (Character design + Environment concept art)
Hearthstone (Illustration)
Burning Crusade(Character design + Environment concept art)
Wrath of the Lich King (Character design + Environment concept art)
Indivisible (Environment concept art)
Final Fight Streetwise (Voice Acting + Character Design + World Design + Cutscene Direction + Co writer on script)
He Man GBA (Pixel Art)
Terminator 3 GBA (Art Direction + Pixel Art)
CannonBallers (Character + World design)
Ikeda: The Scrap Hunter (Programming + Art + Design)
Goblins and Gnomes (Concept Art)
Books available-
CreeD Re:Imaginary (2021) - 2 part Comic series
Twilight Monk - Return of the Ancients (2021) - Illustrated Novel
Twilight Monk Secrets of Kung Fulio (2020) - Illustrated Novel
Escape from Giants Crown (2019) - Illustrated Novella
World Of Twilight Monk Vol 1 (2019) Art Book
The Man and the Moonken (2019) - Illustrated Novella
The Beast of Tuksa (2018) - Illustrated Novella
Twilight Monk (2012) - 2 Graphic Novels
Nova Colony (2009) - 1 Graphic Novel
CreeD (1993-2007) - Comic Book Series
Ghost Rider (2000) - Comic Book Series
The Fuzz (1997) - Comic Book - Розваги
![[柴犬ASMR]曼玉Manyu&小白Bai 毛发护理Spa asmr](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0TsXQ7z2Dh4/mqdefault.jpg)
Hearing someone who symbolizes "get it done" and "professionalism as an artist" to me mention even the possibility that perhaps anxiety and depression could be debilitating, that's really something. I've spoken to a few professional artists about stuff like this and it never seemed like they understood so I really started to believe something was especially wrong with me. So I can't really say enough about how much this video means to me. Genuinely, thanks for putting your thoughts on this out there. I'm gonna keep doing my best.
Oh, man. Don't quit your artist dream. Look ar this ai stuff from another perspective : simplifying and amplifiing your work with references. That's it. Non of ai sh..t can replace true artist work. I consumed midjourney month ago and carrying on my movement now. Using it for refs, to my next project. Cheer up ,man! All is gonna be good!
+1 I could not have said that better , me too
Keep doing what you do! You'll eventually get there
‘Screaming into the void’ would be a great title for a graphic novel story.
After leaving AAA and working on my first single-dev indie title for about 2-3 years now full time...I relate a lot
Looks great dude I subbed
Ive seen your project and its amazing, keep it up man, finish that, i love it.
I know! I've been following your games progress. It's amazing what you've shown of Ghost Knight. I hope its a huge success! If nothing else, you'll have a great looking game you can be proud of, and if you ever want to work with other devs, I'd love to talk to you about working on the next Twilight Monk game.
@@ghost4439 Oh haha thank you. Maybe I should actually post some content or updates haha.
@@Nahelus Thanks, I appreciate the support.
A while ago I stopped caring about likes or subscribers and.. And I've never been more happy. I decided to just start focusing actually making art and not obsessing about the algorithms. In the process I've actually rediscovered the joy of making, I actually can't wait to start drawing, basically taking my sketchbook everywhere and taking it out when the opportunity arises. Quality wise it's made a huge difference, I have the time to work on a drawing untill it's actually finished, not when the social media algorithm demands more nurishment. Bad thing is I've forgotten to post art on social media but hey, I think it's good to have some blacklog when I start posting again.
awesome! Encouraged by your story so thank you for sharing. Keep it up, and keep it fun!
Getting self absorbed in my own problems is absolutely what drives my anxiety to unproductive levels. Just gotta remind myself to interact with peers.
Being all over the animation and gaming industry for 25-ish years I'm finding it harder and harder to keep going . I've seriously considered giving up. This helped my mood. Thanks, Trent.
Thank you, Trent! I am saving this into my "Insecure about art career?" playlist for myself. I've been including trailers that inspired me to become an artist and realized through your video, that this is a very important topic and a reminder for when you are feeling down/uninspired.
Personally, I am at the beginning of my journey and found myself falling into the same trap of keeping consistent with social media, likes, and trying to output a big number of "amazing" drawings and try to make it into the industry as fast as possible and it is just not sustainable... Been having low number of likes and engagement, job rejections and it also made me have tunnel vision on what I really like and want to do. (I realize I am going on a rampage right now)
A close friend of mine mentioned she deleted social media and was the best decision she has made so far, I decided to do it too. Already feeling way more relaxed and clear headed and took the time to think about what I actually want to do with my art in 1, 5, 10, 20 years since I want to do it in the long run.
It's been great and I feel more connected to life (even if that sounds silly) and my art. I encourage people to be true to themselves, envision what they want to do on the long term (not only as a career but also for yourself) and have patience, because it will pay off! And whatever you have on your chest, let it out, talk to other people and ask for help! You're doing great!
Thank you, Trent! For keep making these videos and for your wisdom. I am on a binge watch of your channel haha.
thank you. I'm currently a freshman in high school and I get really anxious every day I get closer to graduation, I felt scared that my time will "run out". Watching this, it feels nice having someone be honest to me and also encourage me like a mentor. For years, I am my only supporter and teacher. I have such a huge passion of art. I don't doubt that I won't encounter any harsh challenges that will make me doubt myself. I still feel anxious about my art despite being really dedicated but I feel like I can fight it.
For everyone who does this as a living, I respect and salute you. You're all far braver and confident than I am. I got my degree in theatre and after two kinda bad gigs, and then couldn't find work afterwards, i just moved on and left the field. I love art but i couldn't do it as my career, for many reasons besides the mental and emotional load. The fact you all do this even when it weighs on you all so heavily is proof you're incredibly. Best wishes to you all and thanks for talking about it Trent.
Huzzah! First! Perfect timing actually. I just lost a regular job in a small animation studio cuz we had some international clients that didn’t pay up, eventually, the studio folded…
And I’m down to my last few bits of funds (I’m from the Philippines). Been in the art industry, illustration, in animation professionally since 2011. I’m a bit dejected at this time, but I’ve come so far…I can’t give up now.
Edit: Man, I am saving this to a playlist…I’m gonna listen to this back to back. Haha
Mmmmmmmmmm cool
Keep Grinding..!! 👊😎
My struggle as a student is burning out, the kind not where you work too hard but where you're not understanding something and you feel like you can't move past it so you stop trying. Then you have to make up for lost time on an assignment and get a decent grade but know you could've done so much more. I live in anxiety by skating around my studies that I'm not entirely in tune with but I know when I get over my stupid feelings and get down to business I'm successful. You can't spell "capable" without "able", and one has to be able and willing to perform to see work completed and achieve greatness. Can't forget what the end goal is and to enjoy each page of this chapter. There's no skipping pages or chapters with art degrees!
I just got my first job as a concept artist! Thanks for all the videos u made, helped a lot! 💖
Congratsss🎉
yep focus on what you have and what you can do and dont fret about the rest
I started suffering with anxiety about 7 years ago, but this recent summer, I had experienced my first panic attack. 3 weeks of just waking up in the middle of the night, heart racing, can’t breath, my face and body feeling numb. Horrible, horrible panic attacks. The night that I went to the ER and was told that my vitals were fine, I officially went to therapy and began taking medication.
Since I had admitted to my therapist that the anxieties and uncertainty of my art has lead to sleepless nights (sometimes crying in bed, not gonna lie), my therapist told me to check out other artists that have dealt with mental illness and how they cope, how they feel. And then, I found you, good sir.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for doing what you do, creating these videos. The first time I watched your video, I think I began crying, because it felt like someone took every insecurity and struggle and discussed these things with knowledge, experience.
I’m now majoring in art, writing a script for a comic, working on art assignments, and while I still feel the occasional anxiety, I think of how temporary life is, and how angry I’d be with myself if I didn’t follow my dreams. Thank you so much for having this channel.
I just wanna casually watch a video while drawing and this dude hits me with full on life advice and I'm over here going damn, he got a point
I found that thing that helped me to ease my anxiety on the bottom of my depression about art. I tried to get into gamedev so much that I burnt out, and then somehow stopped to care about my results. I just said to myself that I would continue no matter what, and eventually I started to like the outcome along with the strife.
Maybe it sounds masochistic at some angle, but I feel it is close to Dave Goggins message about loving your pain. Art is often painful, so I guess there should be some way to get comfortable being with it.
I needed that, thanks Trent! Sadly I'm letting those feeling mess with my art. Lately I can't finish a piece and it seems like my drawing skills are regressing.
damn, you hit it on the mark man. its easy to compare yourself to others and it sucks. but fr man, we do this because we love it. its funny I know a handful of artist who are successful and they dont love it. they dont hate it either, but its a different mindset. who knows what kind of baggage that comes with, but a simple self reflection, I know im okay. and I hope you are too.
Just started in game design and I can say that it is not an easy world. Sometimes we just need a little opportunity but people now a days don’t even want to talk. Don’t want to read your motivational letter or open your portfolio.
In the Netherlands, recruiters can also see my origin, and what’s my mother tongue so it’s even harder.
Anyways, I can only say to myself “don’t give up! Trust yourself and your art!”
Thanks, for always Spitting the “Cold Hard Truth” Trent.! Always Solid Advice From The Best in the Business.!
Thank you for helping me become a Better Artist and Also in my Personal Life as well.! This Twilight Monk Game is Really Shaping up looks like.! Can’t wait to get the New Art Book as well.!
Keep doing what your doing My Friend.! 👊😎
Thank you so much Trent! You know, right now with all of that AI stuff happening this is what has been happening to me in the last weeks, I even considered to give up in my journey to become a digital artist. This video just helps me a lot to feel some kind of relieve.
You're missing the point of art if you're worried about AI art. The point of art is to celebrate humanity's skill to recreate reality. It's not just about the person or AI that can produce the most beautiful product, it's a lot deeper than that. Like if they made AI robot athletes it just won't be that exciting for a lot of sports fans. Besides, AI art can barely fit in any pipeline in the art industry by itself. You're worrying yourself out of ignorance. And I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm just saying, you're misinformed. There is a market for AI art, that's undeniable, but that's for shallow industries who don't care about art. It's called "art" for a reason, it's about the skills learned and skills expressed. Without the skill there's nothing impressive about it other than a product to be sold and that's not art, that's retail.
@@Cellardoor_ I draw manga, and I'm concerned that AI will take most of my commissions. I believe it has been already started happening, since I've been getting more commissions related to things an AI can't do. It generates fanart and even art that's ready to be used commercially, while I charge an extra amount for such a product. It comes with a few mistakes, but anyone could learn to use photoshop and correct them, or learn composition skills.
Fortunately or unfortunately, drawing is a repetitive task. Lately, I've been trying to find through drawing a way to show who I am and why I started drawing, but apparently my commission clients show no interest in that.
Thank you so much for these tips! I've been struggling a lot with my art, mostly hating it and hating myself along with it. It's hard not to despise whatever I'm working on, but I really want to make a career change one day and actually use my creativity for work instead of doing a robot job without any thoughts or brains.
I like how each of your videos always maintain a contagious hopeful tone.
Right when I felt blue, Trent uploads such a gem))
Thanks for this. i initially came for the art and stayed for the Trent insight bro.
anxiety life crisis and stress on daily bases be like
your art career ends here now and forever
I really needed this, thank you ❤
Love you man. Thank you ❤
Perfect timing, thanks Trent!
Thank you for yet another great video.
Thanks Trent, I really needed to hear this.
These types of your videos are my absolute favorite Trent! When you reflect on a topic this way. I often come back time and time again and rewatch/listen to them. It would be great to have more videos on the topic of being independent now that it's been a while since you stopped with the contract work.
You always know what to say Trent! Thank you!
Always a pleasure to hear your encouragement. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing the wisdom.
I really appreciate videos like this one
I love your stuff Trent, both the art and the philosophizing :) Keep it up! And thanks!
I always liked your videos but this one is your absolute best ever! Thank you so much for this!
Thank you! So well said. Appreciate your honesty. Really hits
thanks for doing those kinds of videos,I really find myself needing to hear those things over and over again
the room you drew was amazing and ispiring too!:)
Thanks a lot for this video, growing my art channels has been kind of a nightmare for my emotional and mental well-being. Sometimes it’s nice to know that I don’t have to be so hard on myself in this stuff
Thanks! The video and the words are very inspirational and recomforting.
Your grounded advice like this is so appreciated to the art community. Always love your content Trent!
Damn... This content is GOLD! What Legend Guy
Do your best regardless of recognition, that´s yhe gift God gave us, to be artists, that´s one of the best jobs in the World, the goal is to overcome your own self everyday, eventually we´ll get there. We need not to be greedy of attention, if we tread the path with a humble heart and lot´s of courage we reach the goal. Awesome video and Art, Trent! God bless ya!
Much love Trent.
Thanks for sharing these kind of topics as well. It's helpful to know as a human and artists we can go through the same struggles and what we could try to put out focus on instead.
Been awhile since I’ve visited, your channel is doing well.
Thanks for making these videos Trent, I really enjoy listening to them each week. Some good insights about the industry to think about. (Also, your brushes pack is great)
aaaaa, I'll watch this tomorrow!! its night time here T ^ T, thanks for always uploading vids ^ - ^, I really hope your channel grows, I've been feeling down lately so this will be a good vid to watch tomorrow ^ - ^
I've been watching your videos for years now and I didn't realize how valuable they are until recently, thank you
Your videos are amazing - as is your art, never doubt it! Thank you for sharing! I like that they include a variety of topics - its all connected :D
Always good to hear your insights even as a artist close in age to you
Thank you for putting yourself out there. Its funny how being vulnerable seems like the hardest thing for many but most of the time it just makes you more human and likeable.
Thank you, Trent. BTW, the game is getting pretty cool! Congrats!
I wouldn't minde getting rid of some procastination its like if a bad habit became a leach but id keep some insecurity just to keep me on the path of continuing trying to become better
Wow, insanely, insanely great advice!
This is literally pure gold advice - you speak absolute truth! Completely, completely relatable times one hundred!
Thanks greatly for this video, dog - your videos are INCREDIBLE! 🇺🇸
We may watch your channel and at seeing your amazing skills it would be easy to think you have not struggled yourself in your career, but with videos like these you give us a very realistic perspective of what you have been though and what aspiring artists are mostly likely going to encounter. A thousand thank yous for keeping it real.
Thank you for the video Trent! Anxiety and self doubt have been a constant part of my art journey ever since I got past the beginner stages and actually started having expectations of my art and how I want it to be perceived. This has been a constant source of motivational fuel to help keep me practicing for hours every day for over a year now but on the offhand it has also been detrimental to my mental health and social life at times.
It is a very difficult tightrope act of weaponizing these feelings into a positive drive for art self improvement while avoiding all the negative emotions and stress it can bring and I believe mastering it should be every intermediate artist's priority if they want to seriously pursue a career in the industry.
This game looks amazing. Congratulations! 🏆
Damn, it's still very hard to get the connection. Every time I'm trying to help, the more people call me pretentious. Aaand, they put themself higher than the god damn sky or the complete opposite by praising our work and do nothing about it. A good company is very rare or I'm just very bad with connection that I can't find group of artist doing what I do and what I like.
Thanks for this video!! Artist's anxiety is something that will lurk forever in the industry, we just need to learn to cope with it 💪
"it was always amazing, it just takes a while before people acknowledge it..." 7:21
Great video :) just like the others.
Great video.
I actually feel like I already got my shot and kinda blew it. Somebody invested money in my game and I got the game made with a small team and then after a release it was just a failure. Or at least in a sense that it couldn't fund another game project. And now I've been just floating around the past five years with nothing going on.
Make something happen
I'm sure that you learned a lot, and you could probably make your next game better. My first solo indie game was not a success either. 3 years later, I'm back at it, and applying all of the lessons I learned from the mistakes I made on game #1. Never stop never stopping!
I always love your content! By the way how can I learn more on set building? I love how you were able to add props here and there and making the room so alive ❤️
I make workshops to teach you that. Check out my stylized facility workshop. www.gumroad.com/trentk
I can’t even start projects anymore I’m so paralysed with anxiety and hopelessness, I’ve been like this so long that my brain is conditioned to expect the misery and anger that trying and inevitably failing brings, so it screams at me to stop before I even start, to protect me from that. I yearn to make work again, I think about it every single day, but I can’t. I get so angry when I force myself that I could cry, and I’m a 33 year old man who hasn’t cried in years. There is no solution, I’ve tried all of the coping strategies they don’t work, the best thing for my sanity is give up and stop thinking about it at this point.
I have felt that way at times myself. Perhaps, the best solution is to change your definition of “success”. Consider that I have met artists who simply teach art to kids, and while they be disappointed that they aren’t a “famous” artist, they are bringing joy to others through their art. I made an indie game that made 0 dollars. Me! A pro, that’s shipped Warcraft, league, fortnite and hearthstone! But my indie game “failed”. I was bitter. I could have focused on that undesirable outcome. BUT ultimately making my solo indie game taught me how to ship a game on my own. AND it helped me to get a publishing deal for Twilight Monk. My point is… sometimes your “gains” are invisible. So instead of expecting X number of dollars, or x number of “likes”… try to expect what you KNOW you can expect. Learning a new skill, or doing something better than what you did before.
@@TrentKaniuga thank you for taking the time to reply, appreciate that
hey trent i got that ipad like i said finally but the screen is so slippery now waiting on a matt screen protector but gonne be enjoying your drawing tutorials :)
As a musician i found this helpful.
Hello trent! Can you make a video on how to import these amazing background into your game engine and how to make boundaries??
thx you so much keep doing these amazing videos!
super peachy!
Vitamin T... i feel refreshed
This is what is happening to me right now.
I wanted to ask you, any tips for anime arms and legs cause i dont get them very good and specificly the palm and toes
@Trent Kaniuga do you use Gamemaker studio for Twilight Monk? Not sure if you answered this before :3...
the game is released or still in progress? i'm just curious and wanna try it!
Hey just a question: i wanted to rewatch your old man pikatchu video but could not find it. What happens to it?
I archive old videos into my box sets of tutorials collection www.gumroad.com/Trentk
Stupid question but what program is this in the video? Photoshop?
thanks for the heads up. ill be cautious about it.
right now i feel like my standards are too low xD. trying to level that up is Tricky. Why?: Cause i want to look cool... xD nah, for me it just sounds interesting to learn.
thats it. if i found it boring or Stressful, i put it off or take in Small Doses. so it doesn't get in my head xD. yea it might take me Longer, but its better xD.
Good luck to everyone and they're Journey. and Remember Stay Frosty xD.
Are you using photoshop?
I don't like it when the art down picks me up with covid and jobless.
What has sucked for me is... putting my best foot forward all the time, every piece feels better than the last. And I get overshadowed by some other guy making big tiddy goth gfs by the thousands...
I don't agree with the concept of considering oneself lucky/blessed for having a art job in a game dev studio. At the end of the day, it's just a job, where you have to work on what management wants and in the style that management wants. You're basically a biological drawing/painting aparatus, taking in their input and converting it into pictures.
That doesn't sound particularly exciting or better that other jobs out there. Robert Crumb had similar job in his youth - he was illustrating postcards (I think he even had much more creative freedom than typical game dev artist), and he said that nobody was happy to do this job, and he worked with a bunch of depressed alcoholics. That doesn't sound like being blessed...
I choose to be grateful every single day for the blessings in my life. Even John Milton said “the mind can turn a heaven into hell”. Be mindful of the story you tell yourself, or you’ll make a wonderful life into a miserable one.
@@TrentKaniuga I mean yeah, just being healthy, living in a a wealthy country, not having any real material or security worries is pretty amazing. I agree with that 100%. That is unrelated with having an art job or not. I can imagine it can be different for different people though, and for some people, just excercising their art skills to work on other people's vision is amazing in itself. It could be especially true for people who love the technical challenges part of art and not the creative part (i.e. they don't really have visions of their own that they to bring to life).
RIP Kim jung gi 😔..
Um like your videos ... but I disagree that tech won't take over all we can do, it will be like in most professions not just artists ... when it comes to production, we will be replaced. When it comes to being artists for self fulfillment, that will still be ours
thank you... i really needed this one today
@Trent Kaniuga Been doing digital art, illustration, characters and concepts for about 12 years, with a super difficult break in the middle in 2014 (mix of pro/family/friendship/couple/health drama)
I'd be careful with the advice of "hey it's just art, for video games" and try to find worst ways to make a living in comparison and try to consider yourself happy about not being an industry worker or a garbage collector or something...
It's funny when you think about it, you shouldn't compare yourself to artists better than you because it's gonna make you feel bad? But you can compare yourself to worst situations to make you feel better?
The thing is, our own perception of hardship is based on our own experience during our life, you can find it funny that some multibillionaire is crying because he wasn't able to buy the latest lamborghini painted in gold and covered in diamonds or something (i find it funny) but his perception is based on his own experiences, that's probably the worst thing that ever happened to him so now he's deeply affected (and yeah it's kinda fucked up when you think about it) but that's how it is.
We feel the way we feel, and telling ourselves that we "shouldn't" feel this way, i think it's probably the worst thing to do, cause now you add a layer of guilt on top, like making yourself feel ridiculous for even thinking you can legitimately suffer your very nice and luxurious and lucky situation...
I mean, maybe a better way would be to first accept that we feel this way, and really try to observe it for what it is so that we can build some way to deal with it, not trying to push it under the carpet and forget about it, since we all know that eventually it's gonna come back, and it feels like each time it's getting worst, because we don't REALLY deal with it.
This helped so much 🤍🤍 thank you