i don't think its re-defining mental health professionals as this is what a standard session is like, just online and with an audience. but he certainly is a needed figure to show that talking about your mental health isn't something to be ashamed or is stigmatized as 'oh god i gotta talk to a therapist, i must be messed up' kind of thinking that my parents and grandparents era thought of. So when i told them that i was going into addiction counselling to help, they were worried for *me* so its great that its becoming less stigmatized as 'needing a therapist must = your messed up in the head' from our past generations
such a random thing for a mental health dude to help a person that body tracks themselves in a anime thing. mrk k is a true chad and flexible and a great person
This is the true magic of the internet. I'm watching a 2 hour interview of an Indian psychiatrist monk with a youtube channel called "HealthyGamer" interviewing a 3d animated anime girl with bouncing booba and it's genuinely one of the most authentic, heartbreaking, relatable interviews I've ever seen.
I had a really bully opinion about Vtubers but now i realize that behind the avatar there is a person that you don't know, and who in cases like this they are x6000 times stronger than I. This taught me to not be prejudgmental.
@@greedisbad9890 You know what though? I'll speak for myself but I believe that others might relate. The main reason I like vtubers is because it's literally an anime girl doing youtuber/streamer stuff. That's how it started for me at least. I'm trying to figure out if there is a deeper meaning behind this reason but i haven't found it yet. Why I stayed? Because I found them generally more fun than the usual creators anf because I like the enviroment they create along with the relationships between them
As a person with depression mousey is an inspiration. Girl has been nerfed by the world and still found the strength to reach out and eventually become the number one female streamer. Rock on tungstenrat!
@@hosnemir3201 basically her body doesn't create antibodies to fight infection. it basically like your bodys personal army just being non existent. We fight things every day on a viral, bacterial level
Ironmouse’s health has been so bad she: wasn’t able to talk for a year, needs a wheelchair but hopes she’ll be able to walk again one day, had to have someone help her use the bathroom facilities, hasn’t left her own house in nearly 3 years, she can eat a limited number of foods, needs plasma donations nearly weekly, can’t seen her own family face to face unless they’ve quarantined to prevent passing a common germ that could kill her, her doctors are shocked she hasn’t died yet, she uses a breathing machine, she has a medical device directly linked to her heart, literally has a chunk missing out of her chest. She lives in Puerto Rico and her parents have spent so much just trying to keep her alive. She’s not rich and we all know how expensive American medical care is. She wanted to be an opera singer and honestly is gifted enough to be one if it wasn’t for her illness. This is what I know about her after occasionally watching her for less than 5 months. She’s inspirational. If anyone deserves to make a career as a streamer it’s her.
liam she definitely has more money now, but again, healthcare for her is astronomical. I’m pretty sure the plasma transfusion alone is several thousand and she needs it a couple of times a month if she’s lucky enough to get it. Insurance only does so much if she has it
I'd never heard of ironmouse before this video and don't follow vtubers at all so thanks for the extra context. I'm happy to have found out about this amazing person.
@@jmh8817 the short of stuff to know if you do stat going on her twitch: Cdawgva aka Conner aka Monkey is a live tuber and her best friend. Everybody ships them, they both say everybody should shut up, but there is undeniable love there, platonic though it may be. She’s going to act like it’s torture to hear his voice half the time. Lore wise he voice acts her demon assistant Bubi, and a running joke is that Bubi and Conner despise each other. Her other friends also show up a lot, and whole story wise there is a whole bunch of lore, 99% of the time they utterly fail to stay in character and just act as real as you see mouse acting on here. Expect some toilet humor.
This made me realize Mouse only cries easily from being overwhelmingly happy, and can take negative feelings pretty well. Just shows how hard she had to struggle in life to be that tough. More respect to Mousey!
I noticed that as well. I realized that all the times Mouse has burst into tears, it was when talking about how thing have improved, or when she reaches a milestone, or when recieving some act of generosity. But I can't think of a time she's cried when just talking about the bad times outside of the context of how things are better now.
When life is a never-ending series of disappointments and suffering, you get used to bad things happening. You don't get your hopes up out of fear of getting hurt. So when something good happens or someone treats you kindly, it's overwhelming.
I don't agree. I think she simply tries hard to not cry about something that is very sad. Like she said here, she starts to disassociaite when she talks about things. And every time she speaks about her traumatic past she tries to laugh it away to avoid the bad feelings. She has created some strong defense mechanisms in her mind. Which is good for now but when it will come to actually breaking that down, it will be very difficult. If that time ever comes.
I did not know what a vtuber is before this video and I have Never heard of Ironmouse before this, but I will say if there is ever a streamer who deserves all of the success they have it is this strong woman right here. They wrote her off as being a dead woman walking and she didn’t even let that stop her. What an incredible success story.
im not a regular fan/watcher of the vtuber genre, but vtuber more or less stands for virtual you? tuber (im not sure if the tuber is from the youtuber term exactly) but basically someone in that kind of role. Most vtubers take on a 3d virtual avatar with semblance to an anime or cartoon character and I think the resulting stigma of the recent success of all these vtubers is that they are only using the face of their avatar for their success and connection to their community, but as we've seen in this video, vtubers probably aren't as unauthentic as they seem and probably have their own reasons for presenting themselves as an avatar beyond a surface level
I absolutely don't get the stigma of being 'unauthentic'. Whether you change your entire persona, or just certain traits, when you present yourself, you assume certain traits you either wanna show, or think are gonna be beneficial, how is that so different for vtubers? If it's about scamming, it's rather easy to see whether ppl are exploiting others, but hating them for making avatars to represent them makes no sense to me. The avatar becomes personal to them, and they change that avatar according to their values, and it shows their personality, so I don't see it differently from other people dressing up, and assuming certain personality traits.
@@oaksofgold Many play a character, but often even in those cases they often do inject a lot of their own personality into their characters. But playing a character in an interactive manner is not restricted to vtubers, many people that stream real videos of their own physical bodies are actually putting on an act even when interacting with their viewers; but likewise, there are also some that don't self-filter much. In general, there is a lot of variety in where streamers, virtual and otherwise, land in the character/real-person spectrum; and even some the move about depending on the situation and their mood etc. And actually, celebrities in general are like that; there is always some element of fiction (even if just due to lies by omission) in how many famous people present themselves whenever they expect the public to be watching (or to be watching a recording the events later), often extending even outside official working hours; but that extent varies from individual to individual, and potentially also depending on the situation etc.
She technically was a "dead person" in the sense that she had a time frame the doctors said without proper financial to fund her medical expenses, another case of the classic American healthcare system.
1:54:13 "You're worth it" It's such a simple and straight forward sentence, but seeing Mouse react to that sends a pang to my heart, it sends a powerful message
and 1:55:25 was a nice connection to mouse's own experience, it's not selfish to place moderate expectations and challenges on loved ones if they feel like they're ready for it, in fact it's considerate, it allows them the chance to step up and feel good about themselves as well.
I still find it sad, that she still doubts that, even after the stream from, now, 3 years ago. The legendary " i need a better workspace" which turned out to be a better bed, because she streamed out of her bed back then. Where the donor goal was smashednin under 10 minutes with a florida man donating 1k and leave again.
Never had I ever misjudged a person from first looking at them so badly as today. Soft voice, anime face and pink hair outside but so much strength and grit inside.
I have to pause the video because I really cannot keep my emotions in check while watching this interview. I've always seen Vtubers as someone who is more attracted to anime characters than anything and that's why they rather show themselves as an anime character to pull in more views, but the way Ironmouse has shared her experience and what she's gone through, I was immediately feeling sad and embarrassed. Truly, to this day, I thought I accepted a lot of things and do my best to not judge people, but turns out I still judge them to this day without realizing, including Vtubers. Thank you for this interview, I hope to be more accepting in the future. This interview really changed the way I should think about people hiding behind avatars like Vtubers, there will always be a reason why and it is never always something that I know or understand.
There's a saying in my mother tongue Indonesian language that roughly translates, "what you aren't familiar with, you will not care about". Humans have a fear/arrogance of the unknown; which will lead them to be judgmental, cautious, hostile, even overprotective (eg. Whiteknighting). No humans are above this flaw. Because our brains can only remember & compute so much information, so we prioritize processing things we're familiar with and shrug other things we aren't familiar with. So yeah, it is only human. The best we can do to be less biased is to become more familiar with the subject. Even then, we can't escape making judgments because without having firm beliefs, we'd be indecisive & tend towards inaction.
This is why implicit bias is inescapable. You're almost certainly still doing it in ways that you aren't aware of (which is the whole point -- you aren't aware you're doing it). Don't feel TOO bad; it's essentially normal and everyone does it. Just try to correct it when you do become aware of something. That's really the best you can do.
It's actually kinda wild you didn't think first that the people behind vtubers aren't human( not saying that directly but like you saw them as anime girls first) as soon as I saw the first one heard ago. Shit kizuna AI I was like this is a person who's trying to make a living. Or someone trying to create a take of a dope thing. And now it's so many people trying to make a life they probably wish they could. It's interesting
This is proof that even if the internet can be terrible at times, it’s also beautiful and can save peoples lives by connecting people and allowing people to bypass all the shallow barriers.
I'll NEVER forget one stream where a few people were making fun of her wanting more plushies. She said: "The reason i love plushies is because I can hug them, I can't hug people" It shut everyone up.
1:54:34 "Being friends with you makes other people's lives harder; that's actually okay." Very true. This is the case with All relationships. As he went on to express, we all make sacrifices for the people we care about and there's nothing wrong with that.
Her strength is something else. I can’t imagine having her positivity given the circumstances and I hope people sincerely give her a chance in listening to her experience, regardless of how people perceive vtubing. It’s become a healthy outlet for her and that’s incredible.
When people ask "Why do bad things happen to good people", I think of people like Ironmouse. Would she be half as strong as she is today if she didn't have to live through hell?
Anonymity on the internet in general has that effect, you get to express your real feeling without worrying about how others think (which can be a blessing and a curse)
@T B I dunno about being who you really are, but when you have an anonymous mask, you lose incentive to be careful, and if you're tempted to experiment, or just curious or even have ill intent, you get to just unleash with that. But a representative avatar gives you the opportunity to construct an entire image into what you want. It's a bit different. Ngl, I lost the thread, I dunno why I wrote that last part.
@@RS-fy9hb Could be because you understand that there is a difference between anonymity and pseudonimity. The former makes you completely free. The latter still has some grounding tethers and can potentially be used to construct a false image you wish others to see.
Ironmouse, I hope you read this... I'm a 38 years old autistic person in the gifted spectrum with complex PTSD. I lost a part of a lung, my body is failing me in many other ways. My physical condition isn't as rough as yours, but mentally, that alienness, looking from the outside humanity, I can relate to that feeling. The milestones? yeah I see them as well. One thing I learned though, one day I was on a bridge ready to jump, is that our pain has value, and that value makes it more tolerable. Sure we might not hit the same milestones, but we hit our own. You started on that journey of sharing your experience to others, lot of people are suffering out there, and they need trailblasers to share how they overcame, the tricks we learned, the empathy we develop from suffering. This is where our pain gets its value, by preventing other's suffering as much as we can. Hold on to your horns, you won't ever fall down as low as your worst times ever, you got iron in your spine now and from this point on, from personal experience, when you reach this point the more you learn about yourself and share it, the more the emotional floor will rise. You are hitting the most important life milestone, you are helping others with the horrors stalking our monkey brains, you have a role in society now, no matter what happen later nobody and nothing can remove that from you. You did your part, now everything else is icing on the cake.
"Sure we might not hit the same milestones, but we hit our own." That part is so eloquently put. It certainly is true. I'm glad you're still fighting the good fight man. 😊
Damn dude, this comment really moved me; you really have a way with words. I hope Ironmouse sees this comment too cause it does a good job encapsulating how truly admirable your both are for going through what you guys went through and overcoming your individual struggles. I hope everything turns out alright for you. Stay strong 💪
@@PaygunFGC it does , and does even more every day. 5 years back, before I got treated for my complex PTSD I had maybe 1 tolerable day every year... or two. Now the worst days are without a doubt better than the tolerable ones I used to have. I'm able to smile with conviction every day. I love myself and I have a whole tool box to deal with the bad stuff coming my way. I still hit some emotional trauma mines sometimes but I know how to disarm them now. By accepting the grief they come with, by realising why they still hurt me, sometimes decades after the facts. By crying a day or two to allow myself to move on. There is no shame in hurting a while. Once its done you feel better, its part of the healing process. The more you do it, the easier it get after.
I am also an autistic person in the gifted spectrum with complex PTSD and destroyed my lungs with addiction. So I can relate a lot bud. I hope you are well because I feel the same.
normally Dr. K has to keep going further into ideas and direct the conversation, but IronMouse seems to really understand herself very well, and understand the different causes and effects that he usually points out. it's pretty impressive the level of emotional maturity she showed, probably a product of being trapped, and having so much time to think
@@Veraxu1227 I think you are right about it being a double edged sword. sometimes ignorance is bliss. people who develop the kind of understanding you mentioned are more emotionally mature, and smarter when it comes to observing the mind, but that comes at the cost of the happiness that comes with not bothering to understand
I remember seeing a clip quite a while ago of Ironmouse being able to get a new bed due to donations. Remembering that clip, and seeing how successful she's become on Twitch, and listening to this conversation, I'm really glad to see that she's found a place on the internet. This was a really great talk.
Yeah, what a legendary moment, I remember how that poor donation goal got DESTROYED in a way i have barely seen since. Cheers to the kind souls who forked over those amounts, and i hope they were financially stable enough to not take a hit themselves for that act of kindness.
Yea I remember she said she needed a new work space. Someone in the chat was confused why it was such a big deal and she confessed to being bedridden and needed a new bed. As far as I remember the goal was set for like 1 month, but the dono was completed in minutes.
Holy i cant explain how much this resonates with me i was diagnosed with cvid at 12 and was pulled from school. I missed so much of my childhood and I just understand so much of what shes talking about and how she feels. Which is something i was never able to experience growing up because i never knew anyone else with cvid. Im 20 now and for whatever reason my immune deficiency has almost completely gone away to the point where all my levels are just slightly below average. Im able to live a perfectly normal life now, i dont understand why i deserve to be the lucky one who got better and ironmouse has to be on oxygen. Although i dont watch ironmouse at all im glad she has found a community that supports her. This interveiw is hard to watch and it might sound cringe but its hitting me pretty hard. I wish iron mouse nothing but the best!
Try not to think about who "deserves" to get better. I guess the best you can do is pay it forward by doing as much as you can with that second chance.
have you considered talking with a therapist with your survivor’s guilt? you deserve good things 😭 is it bad to feel sad because someone has it harder than you? is it bad to be happy when there’s someone who has everything they ever wanted? no!
I'm so glad that Mousey was born into this age, being able to be treated with her condition and even more importantly, being able to express herself online via her Vtuber avatar She might be weak physically, but inside, she's among the strongest people that exist
Well only narcissists really hate themselves and they are compensating by projection etc. so you meant to say weakest probably. But it is interesting that she can present herself virtually (without being herself). That's either some next level therapy or the final stage of pathology. Time will tell.
One take away I have is that she didn't dodge the existential questions of what you're doing here and her body failed her to rob her of her passion of singing. She went to that chasm of hopelessness and sat there... luckily she had time and here's where she's actually strong because she sat there and then decided that she seems to have time and what she should do with it. Instead of despairing and fading away, or I should say AFTER despairing and fading away, she took on new roles and tried new things and she found purpose/happiness or at least a new higher level of functioning.
Wow... I've thought Vtubers were kinda weird with my surface level understanding but... I guess I graduated to simp now because I think I would defend Ironmouse at all costs. The parallels between myself and this person are pretty plentiful so far.
it do be like that. not just with vtubers but with pretty much anything. we tend to be very quick to write off things we don't understand as weird, but when you get into it its usually nothing like what you thought.
I think a lot of people have that issue with new entertainment. I think people like VTubers in a similar way to how people like wrestlers. Kayfabe is fun.
You're being parasocial dude. Take those feelings and apply them to your immediate surroundings. They're good, but you're not actually friends with Mouse, that's a trick your mind is playing on you.
dude, I'm a grown ass 30 year old man who works in disability support (palliative care), Mouses story is touching and brought me to tears and that's not easy to do. the part where she cares and feels guilty for her condition sucks so much, its also inspiring to see Mouse grow and become a person that so many people can watch and make others day better.
As a recovering shut-in (still kind of am), I resonate with Ironmouse on the "I feel like an alien" level. Though I have no regrets, I feel like I'm wasting my health in my room. For example, Ironmouse cannot live the life I could, even though she wants to. I can but I don't want to and after this I feel a bit embarrassed.
I love being a shut in introvert gamer but honestly i turned 30 past couple months and feel now suddenly like im wasting my best years i have left being young because i dont go changing a thing 💀
@@mitchellscanga747 We all have our stuff to go through, sometimes is just not so clear or physical. I've been through highs and lows like a rollercoaster, but I'm still here, we all are. It's not about being more deserving or fortunate, it's just about doing your best today, regardless of yesterday. Just don't give up. Everything can change in a moment and it will all feel worth it, i promise you.
Remember people, life is not a race, it's a marathon. You shouldn't compete with others or even have the same goals. You should just strive to be better than what you were yesterday. Mouse is proof of that.
@@williamchamberlain2263 Better explanation: God permits injustice to strengthen his followers. Therefore, Ironmouse and her family, as long as they keep the faith and bolster it with works, will ultimately be stronger.
@@SirBlackReeds while I understand your sentiment, I also feel it’s unfair to say such a thing when there are people who had terminal illnesses who did everything correctly, kept faith, kept trying, never gave up hope, etc. who DIDNT make it. It almost makes it seem like they “didn’t try hard enough” even though that very well may not be the case (and I know that is definitely not what you meant with your words, I was just taking it to the more extreme end of how it could possibly be interpreted). I don’t say this in any hateful way or to undermine your words, I just want you to be careful to whom you say things like that to, because it can be hurtful if you’re not careful.
@@SirBlackReeds Amen. God did have a path for her, just not the one that many would have hoped for. This isn’t to handwave her situation, but you can’t deny how many she reached through this medium with encouragement and inspiration to keep going. Is it ideal? No, but it is what’s here… or maybe it is in an odd kind of way. But i still agree.
Personae: Personae are often associated with pseudonymity. They represent crafted identities that individuals adopt for various purposes, like online personas in social media or gaming. These personae can be authentic expressions of the person behind them or entirely fictional constructs. Simulacra: Simulacra represent complex constructs that may or may not be rooted in authenticity. They can involve various layers of representation, potentially blurring the lines between pseudonymity and authenticity. For example, a social media influencer might maintain a pseudonymous online persona that is carefully curated but does not necessarily reflect their entire authentic self. In essence, VTubers use pseudonymity and the creation of virtual personas to explore and express various facets of themselves or to provide a unique and entertaining experience for their audience. They often feel freer to express their thoughts, feelings, and creativity through their virtual avatars, which may lead to more genuine and unfiltered interactions with their viewers.
That's actually really cool, I had never heard that before. I made a comment basically explaining the same thing, that being allowed to wear this mask has given her anonymity and the freedom to be her true self without having to worry on how what she says and does will reflect on her personally.
Had to pause the video 4-5 times, just kept crying. What a wonderful person, what an amazing heart. I'm overwhelmed with joy that I've been introduced to Ironmouse. Thank you HealthyGamerGG for making this happen.
A very refreshing change of pace from the other first reactions I've seem on this comment section. Thank you for opening your mind and listening to her experiences instead of just getting hung up on how she presents herself online.
People would be surprised of how common it is to be homebound and extremely isolated by chronic illness cause those who are are invisible given they're at home. Personally I never got the anime vTuber and it's not my taste, that aside I can appreciate how she found value and a platform through that when you can't physically go out we still need to connect and that's what she's doing. Thanks girl for sharing and thank you Dr. K for spreading awareness on profound chronic illness/disability- it's rare be represented on this end of the disability spectrum.
There was a thing in there early on that was super cool. Dr. K talks a lot about facial fluctuations and how expressions are the key to connecting. He probably had a moment where he realised that the Vtuber face had a much more limited range of motion, and since Mouse was laughing and smiling, her face was basically locked in one expression. So his question of how the face works and the request of an example was probably one part genuine human curiosity and one part professional evaluation - 'where can I find my emotional cues?'
@@WanderTheNomad Probably expecting people that work in/have experience about the topics discussed on this channel. So the appearance of an "online celebrity" (forgive me for the lack of terms) let alone a Vtuber like Ironmouse of all people certainly is surprising. But me and many others are glad this took place as it sheds light on many important things that needed to be addressed.
@@_xO-Ox_ ah, you must've started watching Dr. K after he started having less interviews with streamers. I'm still a little surprised though since they consist the majority of this channel's most popular videos.
@@WanderTheNomad That is true, I'll admit. This channel has been on my radar for a while now and only recently I decided to start watching videos in depth rather than just skimming and getting the general gist of things. And yeah, now that I've looked more into it, what you say is very true. Which makes me feel a bit weird at first seeing somebody "bridging" the gap between such vastly different fields. But I'm starting to get used to it, makes things feel more "humanized" and not the usual detachment you feel from people working in this field, which is nice.
This brought up so much emotions in me that I found myself in tears multiple times, I still am as am typing this message. I suffer from severe eczema and I relate so much to the feeling of not feeling like a normal human being, self hatred, having religious parents being desperate to try anything and being taken advantage of, feeling helpless in seeing them taken advantage of and not being able to convince them. The shame, anxiety, anger, the feeling of not wanting to be pitied, to be treated like normal. I've been through it all and still processing them. I never expected to connect so deeply with your story/experience Ironmouse. I've known about you and I have now seen you in a new light. You have my respect for being brave and having such positive outlook that I know came after deep suffering. I wish you much more happiness in your life. Hopefully some of your courage has seeped into me to motivate me further in improving my life. Thank you Dr. K. for bringing such wonderful platform to life, you have my utmost respect and admiration. I've been around the channel since around beginning of Reckful videos and being here has helped me in improving my life little by little.
Stay safe fellow human person. I have come out of a 10 year depression. During that time i got increadibly fucked teeths.(according too me). My teeths still fucked but i have slowly but surely found myself in the last 2 years. And i’m so surtain that I am revived and will be able too be a joy too other again. A smile, even an ugly one is amazing if you dont force it. I lived for 7 years stiffeling my smile. I’m now proud of my permanent marks, they show that i was strong enough too stay here. Sry for venting i just want too brag abit for getting out of the shit! (And maby, just maby be a bit inspiring at the same time) :)
Dr. K being on a mental health chat with mouse as a Vtuber and it being as serious as a normal therapist visit is so wholesome, novel, and funny to me at the exact same time.
I've learned more in this 2-hour video about someone else's problems than I have in my own 30-minute therapy sessions. It never feels like enough. Man.
I've been struggling with major depression disorder for over a decade now, and there's something so... groundbreaking? about this entire conversation. There was such a beautiful connection and perspective from both parties, and the whole angle on everyone wearing a "mask" that Dr. K talks about all of the time, this feels like an evolutionary step in relationships where that mask isn't required, if that makes sense? Like we are treading new ground into the future? There's just something so beautiful about two minds with no physical baggage, expectations, insecurities, etc. kindling and conversing where the mask isn't apart of the equation; it gives me hope for the future. Thank you, Mouse, it's been a long time since I've felt this inspired.
I don't know where i've heard this (Anonymous ? internet culture ?) but i feel people wearing a mask are not on the internet. On the internet where you're mostly anonymous you're free to do and say whatever you want so you're your "true" self (That being said it's also easy to fake yourself)
I have an autoimmune disease, and I know the massive struggle it takes to reach a place where you can build new expectations and goals for yourself and find your new “normal”. Grieving the loss of our old normals is a point that doesn’t get talked about a lot, and I always struggle with how to convey this to people who have recently been diagnosed who ask for advice. This will be an excellent talk to forward to them. Thank you for the brilliant honesty and for sharing your strength!!
1:54:21 When Dr K says that Mouse is worth any potential trouble for being her friend, I broke out into tears because he's absolutely right. And I hope that Mouse can really internalize that and come to the same conclusion. Because she totally is worth it, and I'm fairly sure that all her friends would easily pay that price just to hang out with her. Heck, Connor would probably pay three times the price if that's what it took.
@@JCKNEESE She's amazing!!!! Sounds like Mezzo-soprano. She can do actually Musical really good. But man, doing like that without a long-term coaching is pretty good. Nice talent, nice potential. I LOVE HER VOICE!
@@Ojisan642 Well we can argue about that one, for sure. But important is for her, what she can make and how she feels. If it's Coloratura Soprano. Then let it be it. I mean, people have problems with me as well cause I'm Baritone, but like to sing high, so they often think I'm a tenor and sometimes, when I sing low, they think I'm a bass-baritone. :D
42:09 wow .. really profound realization from her, I was just thinking about this same thing recently; I learned it from Victor Frankl's book "a man's search for meaning". “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
Damn, I'm one judgemental mf. I used to think that mouse was just another generic vtuber capitalizing on the wave but hearing her story makes me realize how wrong i was
True, but then again, I've never not had that feeling when Dr. K digs into a conversation with someone. To me, the lesson is nobody is a "generic" anything. Everyone's got a whole ocean of complexity under there.
I dunno how dr k isn't bawling the whole way through, I swear it dosnt get easier to listen to mouseys story without my throat tightening and welling up. Its so impressive how she's come through time and again. Super inspirational ❤
Ppl are commenting about so many negative comments in the video, but i had to dig deep in the comments to find a single negative one. Just ignore the haters, i wish all the best for mouse :)
@@FrostBitn Mimic tear is an elden ring summon that summons your clone to fight alongside you. The clone is usually more efficient, but doesn't use your playstyle.
I miss the interviews. The other content is awesome, but having an interview once or twice a month at least, even different issues with the same youtubers (different episodes), and different ones with different ones. Gives perspective, insight, and we all like to listen to our favorite creators even in a new light.
Its amazing how well mouse understands what her mental state is and how well she is dealing with it..I just hope she lives long and happy life (as much as possible)...and everyone should see this..to understand that vtubers are ppl as well and they are too dealing with a lot of real life crap..and they could use less of internet trolls fcking with them..
My husband has a really shitty autoimmune disease, which dominates pretty much every aspect of our life. But, you know, people die trying to climb Everest for the view. That weirdo is my Everest. Simple as that, really.
Wow. Absolutely amazing interview. This was exceptionally inspirational and brave of Ironmouse to share her side of the story regarding her condition. Major kudos to you both for providing such a great conversation that can hopefully connect with others out there that are going through a similar situation! 😊👊🏻
This made me want to be Mouse's friend, not out of pity or everything she's lived through; but because she's so authentic and sincere, has a lot of depth, insight, and kindness; and I found myself interested for the entire 2h 10m. I could relate to so much of this oddly enough. Even though I'm healthy, I picked a career as a Game Artist, and I've struggled through my 20s just staying at home, isolated, and having to work and improve all the time to "make it", while my friends lived their lives, had relationships, friendships, traveled etc. And I'm almost at the end of my 20s, became skilled, and I'm only just entering the industry as a result of the isolation and work. I feel behind all my friends, and don't feel normal in a lot of the same ways Mouse talks about (while recognizing Mouse's challenges are far more difficult than anything I've dealt with physically). And oddly enough, as a motorcyclist too I feel most like myself when I have a helmet / armor on OR when I stay up late at night, because no one can judge me, and that's when I become my truest self. "Fear of Judgement" is the keyword here, because even self-esteem is often a fear of how we're perceived by the external world. This was a pleasure to listen to while I worked. I'm always grateful to Dr.K for creating a safe space for this kind of dialogue both for the speakers, and all of us listening. 💜
From what I hear games industry is hard work little pay, but at least you aren't in Japan to produce anime which is supposedly worse. Seriously, I don't know about your situation, but their are other nearby industries which might allow you to do better. Just so you know that if you think you are stuck, their are other options if you need them.
I'm going to repeat to you what someone else said in the comments here: life isn't a race, it's a marathon. You shouldn't be bothered with the other runners, but focus in your own race and in pushing forward at your own pace.
22:30 "I just decided there is no answer, it happened because it happens. I could keep on wondering or decide it happened what do I do now" As someone who was depressed during my teenage years I spent a lot of time self reflecting and this is basically the same conclusion I came to, life happens all that we can control is how we react to it, and also inner peace with my demons. I think I have pretty good EQ now because of it.
I mean.. I don't know if its because of depression that you came down to that conclusion. I definitely used to think that when I was depressed(and still is). For many, that just comes to them naturally without having to experience depression (which is so surprising to me). I kind of envy them because people just seem to know how to live life with balanced emotions and self-reflection. I never understood when people responded to my depression with 'Just work with what you've got and change the things you can change. And enjoy life!'. But now I understand it completely and its just much harder for me to think like that compared to other healthy people lol
Its so easy for us to fall into the Just World Fallacy that bad things happen to us because we deserve it. Sometimes bad things happen to people for no reason other than chance.
@@bapbirb Bro you really need to stop comparing yourself to others and assuming things about others, too. Depression doesn't just go away, either, I for one have it for life even with this mindset. The difference is, you aren't seeing those other people suffer, because they don't want you to. And depression isn't especially rare either, it and other mental illnesses combined affect 1 in 4 people. You aren't alone, the advice you got was from experience. Even things like grief- which happen to everyone- can cause a period of depression shorter than 3 years, which doesn't count towards the statistic.
Mouse is a great person but that doesn't make the conclusion she came to correct There is only so much you can come with by yourself Not that I'm blaming her But the answer isn't just cause it happened. There are many reasons behind why things happen Generally most of them are good no matter how bad they seem
This was a great interview I actually watch mouses streams strictly because of her, And I'm not a gamer. Just seeing her raw and heart on her sleeve self is inspiring and peaceful. Catching up on her videos is what brought me here and this interview had me in tears. ❤️❤️
now I feel real bad Like 2 or 3 years ago mouse was on a podcast I listened to religiously and that was the first time hearing her, I thought she was just trying real hard to sound like an anime character and was being super cringe so I skipped the podcast entirely because of it, but as she came in more times and when she started hanging out with cdawgva i have really come to enjoy her and she is an icon in my eyes as a person who keeps moving forward no matter what anyone says. I have even more respect for her considering I was one of the people who hated on her all those years ago
Agreed. You are that much better of a person and better of owning up to and recognizing your own bias. We all form biases and snap judgements. Its how our brains evolved to survive and categorize information quickly. But its on us also to review and audit those default thoughts \ judgements. Good on you
naw literally even back then she said she was in character, like referring to her voice she knew what she was doing so its normal if you were averse to it! nothing to feel bad about it was her stylistic choice of character
"I thought she was just trying real hard" You can tell if somebody was faking it if you listened to them for long enough, on the long run speaking in a tone that is not natural for you is tiring for your vocal cords, so after a long time a person who is pretending has a trouble and is more likely to break character if they haven't already done so.
Wow. I used to think vtubers were cringey and desperate. I can't believe how much maturity and emotional intelligence lies behind this vtuber. Ironmouse is an inspiration. I have gained a lot of respect for vtubers now.
Tbh, from what I have seen Vtubers themselves are pretty normal as far as streamer personalities go. It's largely their chats which are cringey and desperate.
As someone who is young and also has a chronic illness that is really impacting me in having a normal life. Def, when she was talking about things being taken away and not hitting the milestones society, expects you to. This interview was really interesting and heartbreaking to hear. I don't know her, but it's amazing she found her way and ended up being a successful Vtuber. She is such a wonderful, strong, and well-spoken human.
About the falling into weirdness aspect: I used to be so ashamed of my autism. I studied social skills and practiced them for so long and so in depth that it actually became a benefit to others. My analytical approach to learning about social skills and caring about others, helped me be a very compassionate and empathetic person. I could have never had that level of care if I were normal.
My partner of 15+ is cronicly and severly ill and the insights from mouse and Dr. K have already led to some very positive conversations and deeper u derstanding. Thank you both for doing this. Even years later you're still helping people.
Damn, now I feel shit for feeling depressed over what happened to me a couple of months ago. I was discarded by a narcissist/sociopath, was used and emotionally abused after sacrificing and giving everyting for her, she cheated on me, gaslighted me etc as they do. She just overnight treated me like I never mattered to her, I had to move countries to even have somewhere to stay and had to start life over from scratch. It's been awful and the worst emotional pain I've felt in my life. But then I watch this absolutely wonderful human being talk about what she's been through and.. It brings tears to my eyes. I wish I was as strong as her. And I realize I have nothing to be depressed about - I still have my body, I still have my mind (although I did have a mental breakdown from the trauma) and I can go out in the world and do what I want. Ironmouse is an inspiration to the world, truly.
The fact that other people have suffered more than you does not mean that you are not allowed to feel sad, don't feel dumb or bad for feeling sad, aknowledge this feelings, learn from them, but don´t cling to them, let them run their course and let them go away. You are gonna be fine, you just need some time to heal. :)
@@Mrthedutchman1 Dank je man, ik weet het. But going forward I will be much more careful. Mijn ex is Nederlands, maar ik laat dat mijn liefde voor Nederlands niet veranderen. (assuming you're Dutch, lmao)
I would love to see a update interview with mouse now and see how much she has progressed! From what I’ve seen in her streams she has been doing amazingly good! I’m so proud of her and happy to see Dr.K did this.
Eh, I say give until midway through 2024 at the earliest. Why? There's no beating around the bush, but historically speaking, America has treated Catholics like bloodsucking parasites that need to be eradicated. When the immigrants stepped off the boats, America was aghast because it saw a bunch of "papists" spreading "Popery." Those kinds of tensions don't just go away, and VShojo's fanbase can play the "inclusive space" tune all they want but the reality is that they use the same tricks as the ones they claim to oppose: the "us vs them" rhetoric, the process of the othering, the emphasis on assimilation/acceptable transformation of the problem of difference, etc. Simply put, if Ron DeSantis becomes the Republican nominee (and president), then will VShojo's fanbase, even if it's just the people who put the trans pride flags in their bios and allies, start breaking down the doors and start demanding that "the papist" be fired because they fear their very way of life is at stake? What'll VShojo do in that scenario? Need I remind you that VShojo is based in San Fransicko? Such nativism would (theoretically) be more brutal in a digital space because of the emotional damage.
That conversation about separating from the mind and recognizing that your thoughts aren't reality. Hearing that just made me feel like a weight was lifted off of me like suddenly I understand myself a lot more. It helped so much to hear that thank you
As a Catholic and Latin American, i can relate to mouse on the amount of guilt and embarrassment that Mousey experienced. I can't even imagine though how much more worst it was for someone like her with her health condition. Thank you mousey for allowing us to see this vulnerable side and allowing us to love you more.
Just now seeing this and I really appreciate it. Hearing from someone with serious health problems but still found a way to be outgoing and happy through technology is encouraging. I'm more reserved and this makes me feel I have no excuse not to put myself out there more. Ty Dr. K and TY Mouse for sharing.
Before watching, my hypothesis about vtubers is that the avatar acts as a protective layer of separation. It alleviates fear of rejection, and that probably feels liberating. If a person was to reject a vtuber, the vtuber might rationalize that the person is rejecting the character they portray, rather than their true self. But at the same time, this is problematic because it works both ways; someone could just as easily rationalize that another person is *accepting* the character they portray rather than their true self, which has the potential to be very damaging for someone with low self-esteem. Anonymity can provide freedom from consequence, both negative and positive, depending on the individual's perspective. Halfway through watching, I came to the realization that this hypothesis has much broader applications and isn't limited to vtubers. It can apply to anyone that (figuratively) wears a mask.
As someone who grew up In a very religious house I can only imagine how much worse it must have be for her. The guilt and shame that must come from feeling like your broken and can't be fixed must suck (also all the fake cures must have be hard to put up with under those circumstances).
I also come from an extremely religious upbringing. That bit about the teas that were supposed to "cure" her and all that stuff made me cringe. I understand completely how predatory some religious sects can be and have indeed seen firsthand how some of these "practices" play out. And gosh... I'm having flashbacks thinking about it....
this has me crying i knew nothing about ironmouse i just like dr k videos but i knew of her but never watched and bro her story man im crying i hope things improve for her she seems like a really good person who deserves the best
Hey, wait a minute! She's Catholic. What exactly are the odds that if Ron DeSantis becomes president that VShojo's fanbase, at least sectors of it, will start demanding her to be thrown out like garbage? They can say spout the "inclusive space" line all they want, but they use the same tricks as those that they complain about: the "us vs them" rhetoric, the process of the othering, the emphasis on assimilation/acceptable transformation of the problem of difference, etc. Not to mention that a substantial number of fans live in America, a country that's historically treated Catholics like a tick that desperately needs to be removed. Those kinds of tensions don't just go away. I reiterate, if VShojo's fanbase, even if it's just the people who put the trans pride flags in their bios and allies, start breaking down the doors and start demanding that "the papist" be fired because they fear their very way of life is at stake, what's going to happen? Need I remind you that VShojo is based in San Fransicko?
This is an eye opening. In the end, ppl behind the persona is also real human that has their own background and unique set of problems. Thank you for bringing up her story.
I'm mindblown! I never though that a vtuber would describe situations that are so relatable. I used to think about myself just like mousey did: ashamed for not being "normal", not achieving societys expectations and milestones and seeing myself as a creature rather than a person, locked inside a flesh prison - difference is, I'm just fat and had grown up as a fat kid in a fatphobic household, no diseases or limitations associated. Our thoughts (not our body) are our real home and we must take care of them. This girl has so much wisdom, so much to share! My appreciation for this interview goes way beyond a comment in youtube. Thank you Dr. K and Mousey!
This was just wonderful to watch. I mainly watch Mousey though clips and stuff and I really like her general vibe and energy. I also had a general idea about her condition and struggles so watching this interview and having her talk through her struggles and how she overcame a lot of them is super inspiring and almost makes me kinda proud of her, in a weird way. Life really is what you make of it, and Mousey certainly made the most out of the unfortunate hand life dealt her. I hope she keeps up what she's doing and has a great time with streaming and everything else. As a side note, the whole thing about the VTuber persona/mask allowing people to be more authentic is an interesting observation. It probably depends on the type of person, but I've definitely seen a lot of VTubers that have expressed that they never felt comfortable acting irl the way they do on-stream so putting on that "mask" counterintuiviely made them more comfortable with just being themselves. Maybe it's because instead of a figurative one that people in general put on, there's a much more concrete mask that they're putting on that gives it a layer of separation from what their "real" identity is. I wonder if it feels to them like they're being themselves or if it's closer to acting like a different person that happens to act the way their own authentic self would. Interesting food for thought. That said, ultimately I just think it's wonderful that VTubing has allowed people that don't feel comfortable putting their real name and face out there to still be able to stream or otherwise make content, build a community, and just have some fun doing something they like.
It's honestly always so interesting to see these interviews, because they both give an insight to very specific situations while also being helpful for people in those specific and similar situations.
On the whole anger thing. I mean, like, it might not be this way for mouse, but... some people who have had the world shit on them lock up their anger. They don't let themselves feel it, because if they do, it'll open the floodgates and they're afraid they won't stop being angry. Like she talked about with crying, but for anger.
Wow. This girl is a natural philosopher. While talking about time she said: "it feels like a day can be a month and a month can be a minute." That hit me really hard.
You made me think about what friendship truely is. Thanks for making me think about things. Friends to me is people we share this chaotic journey throughout this life with. Love them, hate them, share your world with them, they often deserve nothing less than your love.
Really needed the part about not sending expeditions when it's not necessary. I kinda fucked up/slowed down my own progress this past year trying to fix too much at once and worry about things that I could have let be.
her perseverance and energy is beautiful. known her since her streams with Connor but not really watched any of them apart from a few clips. might peak my interest more now
2024: Ironmouse is a bigger powerhouse and industry leader than ever. Her vocal health has continued to improve with better access to her lower register, she's not only able to finish songs from beginning to end now but is working on a full album for release next year ― even if we'll never get to hear her at her peak, her audience is proud of how far she's come. There are times when she's rallying chat during subathon where I notice hints of Connor's influence and personality in her as she radiates confidence. It makes me think back to this interview, when Dr. K talks to Mouse about friendship, about letting people in and giving them a chance to show they care.
1:57:00 This whole part, man. Loving someone isn't about being able to handle it, loving someone is about making the choice to try, and every time you decide that they're worth it to try, that's choosing love. (Loving yourself is included here and comes first, airplane safety and all that)
I feel like when you're presenting you as yourself, there's a sort of feeling of accountability. That everything that you do and say reflects back on to how others will perceive you, so we tend to act in a way that isn't necessarily authentic for the sake of preserving our social standing. But when you're hiding behind an actual mask, it provides you with anonymity. A freedom to act the way you truly want to and be authentic in a way you never could previously and know that it can't be traced back to you in a meaningful way. This obviously has some issues on the internet because some people are assholes and can't be held liable for it, but it allows you to be yourself without repercussions and there's a certain beauty in that. It's an experience that is uniquely online and can't truly be experienced anywhere else. Cases like Ironmouse show why it's important to have even with its drawbacks. To have a safe space where you don't have to worry about being socially agreeable and can express yourself.
I've just stumbled upon this. Far from being in a medical condition like Mousey's, but being depressed for most of my life, feeling like psychoterapists and correlated therapies aren't working makes me feel like I'm running out of options fast. Mousey's truthfulness comes as a breath of fresh air because it made me think "dude, you are not in the end of the world right now, stop whining." Dr K's considerations felt like a therapy session with a friend, and it impressed me a lot. awesome video to watch.
Dr. K is seriously redefining what it means for professionals to support mental health in the modern era. This dude is amazing
True. Combining Meditations and others teachings like Yoga and Ayurveda is a Godsend.
He really is an amazing and talented person.
@@Tocinos I am a Vata, yogis must have gotten it wrong
i don't think its re-defining mental health professionals as this is what a standard session is like, just online and with an audience. but he certainly is a needed figure to show that talking about your mental health isn't something to be ashamed or is stigmatized as 'oh god i gotta talk to a therapist, i must be messed up' kind of thinking that my parents and grandparents era thought of.
So when i told them that i was going into addiction counselling to help, they were worried for *me* so its great that its becoming less stigmatized as 'needing a therapist must = your messed up in the head' from our past generations
such a random thing for a mental health dude to help a person that body tracks themselves in a anime thing. mrk k is a true chad and flexible and a great person
This is the true magic of the internet. I'm watching a 2 hour interview of an Indian psychiatrist monk with a youtube channel called "HealthyGamer" interviewing a 3d animated anime girl with bouncing booba and it's genuinely one of the most authentic, heartbreaking, relatable interviews I've ever seen.
I had a really bully opinion about Vtubers but now i realize that behind the avatar there is a person that you don't know, and who in cases like this they are x6000 times stronger than I. This taught me to not be prejudgmental.
That's a lot of growth boss. Good on you taking the time to just observe and reflect, let alone change your opinion
The judgment you have before getting more familiar with something/someone is always gonna be shallow, whether the judgment is correct or not.
The thing about vtubers is if you already get over the avatar bullshit
It will be like just another streamer with no cam
@@greedisbad9890 You know what though? I'll speak for myself but I believe that others might relate. The main reason I like vtubers is because it's literally an anime girl doing youtuber/streamer stuff. That's how it started for me at least. I'm trying to figure out if there is a deeper meaning behind this reason but i haven't found it yet. Why I stayed? Because I found them generally more fun than the usual creators anf because I like the enviroment they create along with the relationships between them
I don't mind the persons it's just weird afffff
As a person with depression mousey is an inspiration. Girl has been nerfed by the world and still found the strength to reach out and eventually become the number one female streamer. Rock on tungstenrat!
“nerfed by the world”
Iridium Gopher strong
Whats wrong with her body? Sorry I dont know her
@@hosnemir3201 her immune system is all sorts of fucked
@@hosnemir3201 basically her body doesn't create antibodies to fight infection.
it basically like your bodys personal army just being non existent. We fight things every day on a viral, bacterial level
Ironmouse’s health has been so bad she: wasn’t able to talk for a year, needs a wheelchair but hopes she’ll be able to walk again one day, had to have someone help her use the bathroom facilities, hasn’t left her own house in nearly 3 years, she can eat a limited number of foods, needs plasma donations nearly weekly, can’t seen her own family face to face unless they’ve quarantined to prevent passing a common germ that could kill her, her doctors are shocked she hasn’t died yet, she uses a breathing machine, she has a medical device directly linked to her heart, literally has a chunk missing out of her chest. She lives in Puerto Rico and her parents have spent so much just trying to keep her alive. She’s not rich and we all know how expensive American medical care is. She wanted to be an opera singer and honestly is gifted enough to be one if it wasn’t for her illness. This is what I know about her after occasionally watching her for less than 5 months. She’s inspirational. If anyone deserves to make a career as a streamer it’s her.
Just to clarify, she *wasn't* rich before. Thanks to her very successful twitch career she's pretty well off now.
liam she definitely has more money now, but again, healthcare for her is astronomical. I’m pretty sure the plasma transfusion alone is several thousand and she needs it a couple of times a month if she’s lucky enough to get it. Insurance only does so much if she has it
I'd never heard of ironmouse before this video and don't follow vtubers at all so thanks for the extra context. I'm happy to have found out about this amazing person.
@@jmh8817 Welcome to the "Famoly"
@@jmh8817 the short of stuff to know if you do stat going on her twitch: Cdawgva aka Conner aka Monkey is a live tuber and her best friend. Everybody ships them, they both say everybody should shut up, but there is undeniable love there, platonic though it may be. She’s going to act like it’s torture to hear his voice half the time. Lore wise he voice acts her demon assistant Bubi, and a running joke is that Bubi and Conner despise each other.
Her other friends also show up a lot, and whole story wise there is a whole bunch of lore, 99% of the time they utterly fail to stay in character and just act as real as you see mouse acting on here. Expect some toilet humor.
This made me realize Mouse only cries easily from being overwhelmingly happy, and can take negative feelings pretty well. Just shows how hard she had to struggle in life to be that tough. More respect to Mousey!
I noticed that as well. I realized that all the times Mouse has burst into tears, it was when talking about how thing have improved, or when she reaches a milestone, or when recieving some act of generosity. But I can't think of a time she's cried when just talking about the bad times outside of the context of how things are better now.
When life is a never-ending series of disappointments and suffering, you get used to bad things happening. You don't get your hopes up out of fear of getting hurt.
So when something good happens or someone treats you kindly, it's overwhelming.
I feel the same about the moments I cry,
It took me a good decade to learn to cry at sad things again.
@@kaydoubleu5802 People don't cry because they're weak. They cry because they've been strong for too long.
I don't agree. I think she simply tries hard to not cry about something that is very sad. Like she said here, she starts to disassociaite when she talks about things. And every time she speaks about her traumatic past she tries to laugh it away to avoid the bad feelings.
She has created some strong defense mechanisms in her mind. Which is good for now but when it will come to actually breaking that down, it will be very difficult. If that time ever comes.
I did not know what a vtuber is before this video and I have Never heard of Ironmouse before this, but I will say if there is ever a streamer who deserves all of the success they have it is this strong woman right here. They wrote her off as being a dead woman walking and she didn’t even let that stop her. What an incredible success story.
im not a regular fan/watcher of the vtuber genre, but vtuber more or less stands for virtual you? tuber (im not sure if the tuber is from the youtuber term exactly) but basically someone in that kind of role. Most vtubers take on a 3d virtual avatar with semblance to an anime or cartoon character and I think the resulting stigma of the recent success of all these vtubers is that they are only using the face of their avatar for their success and connection to their community, but as we've seen in this video, vtubers probably aren't as unauthentic as they seem and probably have their own reasons for presenting themselves as an avatar beyond a surface level
I absolutely don't get the stigma of being 'unauthentic'.
Whether you change your entire persona, or just certain traits, when you present yourself, you assume certain traits you either wanna show, or think are gonna be beneficial, how is that so different for vtubers?
If it's about scamming, it's rather easy to see whether ppl are exploiting others, but hating them for making avatars to represent them makes no sense to me. The avatar becomes personal to them, and they change that avatar according to their values, and it shows their personality, so I don't see it differently from other people dressing up, and assuming certain personality traits.
@@oaksofgold Quick note that yes, the tuber is from UA-camr as this is the platform it originated on.
@@oaksofgold Many play a character, but often even in those cases they often do inject a lot of their own personality into their characters. But playing a character in an interactive manner is not restricted to vtubers, many people that stream real videos of their own physical bodies are actually putting on an act even when interacting with their viewers; but likewise, there are also some that don't self-filter much.
In general, there is a lot of variety in where streamers, virtual and otherwise, land in the character/real-person spectrum; and even some the move about depending on the situation and their mood etc.
And actually, celebrities in general are like that; there is always some element of fiction (even if just due to lies by omission) in how many famous people present themselves whenever they expect the public to be watching (or to be watching a recording the events later), often extending even outside official working hours; but that extent varies from individual to individual, and potentially also depending on the situation etc.
She technically was a "dead person" in the sense that she had a time frame the doctors said without proper financial to fund her medical expenses, another case of the classic American healthcare system.
1:54:13 "You're worth it"
It's such a simple and straight forward sentence, but seeing Mouse react to that sends a pang to my heart, it sends a powerful message
and 1:55:25 was a nice connection to mouse's own experience, it's not selfish to place moderate expectations and challenges on loved ones if they feel like they're ready for it, in fact it's considerate, it allows them the chance to step up and feel good about themselves as well.
I fucking cried
i felt her reaction good god i wanna hug her holy shit i just got to this part AAAAAA
Yes, you can feel the impact it had on her in that moment. What a simple but beautiful thing to say
I still find it sad, that she still doubts that, even after the stream from, now, 3 years ago. The legendary " i need a better workspace" which turned out to be a better bed, because she streamed out of her bed back then. Where the donor goal was smashednin under 10 minutes with a florida man donating 1k and leave again.
Never had I ever misjudged a person from first looking at them so badly as today. Soft voice, anime face and pink hair outside but so much strength and grit inside.
Truly as cute as a Mouse, but as tough as Iron.
Anime characters don't count
"I will never force someone to go through the pain of being my friend..." BRB crying. It's okay mouse we love you.
I have to pause the video because I really cannot keep my emotions in check while watching this interview. I've always seen Vtubers as someone who is more attracted to anime characters than anything and that's why they rather show themselves as an anime character to pull in more views, but the way Ironmouse has shared her experience and what she's gone through, I was immediately feeling sad and embarrassed. Truly, to this day, I thought I accepted a lot of things and do my best to not judge people, but turns out I still judge them to this day without realizing, including Vtubers.
Thank you for this interview, I hope to be more accepting in the future. This interview really changed the way I should think about people hiding behind avatars like Vtubers, there will always be a reason why and it is never always something that I know or understand.
There's a saying in my mother tongue Indonesian language that roughly translates, "what you aren't familiar with, you will not care about".
Humans have a fear/arrogance of the unknown; which will lead them to be judgmental, cautious, hostile, even overprotective (eg. Whiteknighting).
No humans are above this flaw. Because our brains can only remember & compute so much information, so we prioritize processing things we're familiar with and shrug other things we aren't familiar with.
So yeah, it is only human. The best we can do to be less biased is to become more familiar with the subject. Even then, we can't escape making judgments because without having firm beliefs, we'd be indecisive & tend towards inaction.
I’ve had to watch it in sections as well
He should talk to someone who prefers it for the anonymity and privacy, that's also a big thing for a lot of them.
This is why implicit bias is inescapable. You're almost certainly still doing it in ways that you aren't aware of (which is the whole point -- you aren't aware you're doing it). Don't feel TOO bad; it's essentially normal and everyone does it. Just try to correct it when you do become aware of something. That's really the best you can do.
It's actually kinda wild you didn't think first that the people behind vtubers aren't human( not saying that directly but like you saw them as anime girls first) as soon as I saw the first one heard ago. Shit kizuna AI I was like this is a person who's trying to make a living. Or someone trying to create a take of a dope thing. And now it's so many people trying to make a life they probably wish they could. It's interesting
This is proof that even if the internet can be terrible at times, it’s also beautiful and can save peoples lives by connecting people and allowing people to bypass all the shallow barriers.
The internet is mighty... but it's a hammer that swings both ways.
It's mostly beautiful tho, negative things are just highlighted more.
I'll NEVER forget one stream where a few people were making fun of her wanting more plushies. She said: "The reason i love plushies is because I can hug them, I can't hug people" It shut everyone up.
Holy shit 😭 that got me too man
Omg this is too much 😭
1:54:34
"Being friends with you makes other people's lives harder; that's actually okay."
Very true. This is the case with All relationships. As he went on to express, we all make sacrifices for the people we care about and there's nothing wrong with that.
Kinda wonder what being friend with Mr beast is like.. do they really friends with him or just for his money?
Insane, thanks for timestamping.
@@MrUggo-vu3if No clue about the others but Chris was there making videos with Jimmy since the beginning. So at least we know Chris is a real friend.
Her strength is something else. I can’t imagine having her positivity given the circumstances and I hope people sincerely give her a chance in listening to her experience, regardless of how people perceive vtubing. It’s become a healthy outlet for her and that’s incredible.
When people ask "Why do bad things happen to good people", I think of people like Ironmouse. Would she be half as strong as she is today if she didn't have to live through hell?
The bit about her being authentic because she wears a mask, while in real life people aren't authentic without a mask is so profound
I'm 14 and this is deep
@@paperfart3988 I mean it sounds cheesy, but if you listen to the whole segment, they elaborate on it really well.
Anonymity on the internet in general has that effect, you get to express your real feeling without worrying about how others think (which can be a blessing and a curse)
@T B I dunno about being who you really are, but when you have an anonymous mask, you lose incentive to be careful, and if you're tempted to experiment, or just curious or even have ill intent, you get to just unleash with that.
But a representative avatar gives you the opportunity to construct an entire image into what you want. It's a bit different.
Ngl, I lost the thread, I dunno why I wrote that last part.
@@RS-fy9hb Could be because you understand that there is a difference between anonymity and pseudonimity.
The former makes you completely free. The latter still has some grounding tethers and can potentially be used to construct a false image you wish others to see.
Ironmouse, I hope you read this... I'm a 38 years old autistic person in the gifted spectrum with complex PTSD. I lost a part of a lung, my body is failing me in many other ways. My physical condition isn't as rough as yours, but mentally, that alienness, looking from the outside humanity, I can relate to that feeling. The milestones? yeah I see them as well. One thing I learned though, one day I was on a bridge ready to jump, is that our pain has value, and that value makes it more tolerable. Sure we might not hit the same milestones, but we hit our own. You started on that journey of sharing your experience to others, lot of people are suffering out there, and they need trailblasers to share how they overcame, the tricks we learned, the empathy we develop from suffering. This is where our pain gets its value, by preventing other's suffering as much as we can. Hold on to your horns, you won't ever fall down as low as your worst times ever, you got iron in your spine now and from this point on, from personal experience, when you reach this point the more you learn about yourself and share it, the more the emotional floor will rise. You are hitting the most important life milestone, you are helping others with the horrors stalking our monkey brains, you have a role in society now, no matter what happen later nobody and nothing can remove that from you. You did your part, now everything else is icing on the cake.
"Sure we might not hit the same milestones, but we hit our own." That part is so eloquently put. It certainly is true. I'm glad you're still fighting the good fight man. 😊
Damn dude, this comment really moved me; you really have a way with words. I hope Ironmouse sees this comment too cause it does a good job encapsulating how truly admirable your both are for going through what you guys went through and overcoming your individual struggles.
I hope everything turns out alright for you. Stay strong 💪
@@PaygunFGC it does , and does even more every day. 5 years back, before I got treated for my complex PTSD I had maybe 1 tolerable day every year... or two. Now the worst days are without a doubt better than the tolerable ones I used to have. I'm able to smile with conviction every day. I love myself and I have a whole tool box to deal with the bad stuff coming my way. I still hit some emotional trauma mines sometimes but I know how to disarm them now. By accepting the grief they come with, by realising why they still hurt me, sometimes decades after the facts. By crying a day or two to allow myself to move on. There is no shame in hurting a while. Once its done you feel better, its part of the healing process. The more you do it, the easier it get after.
There's a successful VTuber, Haruka Karibou, who is on the autism spectrum. VTubing has helped her deal with a lot of things.
I am also an autistic person in the gifted spectrum with complex PTSD and destroyed my lungs with addiction. So I can relate a lot bud. I hope you are well because I feel the same.
normally Dr. K has to keep going further into ideas and direct the conversation, but IronMouse seems to really understand herself very well, and understand the different causes and effects that he usually points out. it's pretty impressive the level of emotional maturity she showed, probably a product of being trapped, and having so much time to think
Ya, another example of a Dr. K guest like that was Sweet Anita. It's worth a watch if you haven't seen those 2 interviews yet.
@@Veraxu1227 I think you are right about it being a double edged sword. sometimes ignorance is bliss. people who develop the kind of understanding you mentioned are more emotionally mature, and smarter when it comes to observing the mind, but that comes at the cost of the happiness that comes with not bothering to understand
@Sasha Lemay well said
@@ex0stasis72 gonna go watch it, thx
she has figured a lot shit out herself, she is greek philosopher/yogi levels of thinker
I remember seeing a clip quite a while ago of Ironmouse being able to get a new bed due to donations. Remembering that clip, and seeing how successful she's become on Twitch, and listening to this conversation, I'm really glad to see that she's found a place on the internet. This was a really great talk.
That old clip was probably the first contact with her for a lot of people, ever since then she blew up really fast
Yeah, what a legendary moment, I remember how that poor donation goal got DESTROYED in a way i have barely seen since.
Cheers to the kind souls who forked over those amounts, and i hope they were financially stable enough to not take a hit themselves for that act of kindness.
Yea I remember she said she needed a new work space. Someone in the chat was confused why it was such a big deal and she confessed to being bedridden and needed a new bed.
As far as I remember the goal was set for like 1 month, but the dono was completed in minutes.
Holy i cant explain how much this resonates with me i was diagnosed with cvid at 12 and was pulled from school. I missed so much of my childhood and I just understand so much of what shes talking about and how she feels. Which is something i was never able to experience growing up because i never knew anyone else with cvid. Im 20 now and for whatever reason my immune deficiency has almost completely gone away to the point where all my levels are just slightly below average. Im able to live a perfectly normal life now, i dont understand why i deserve to be the lucky one who got better and ironmouse has to be on oxygen. Although i dont watch ironmouse at all im glad she has found a community that supports her. This interveiw is hard to watch and it might sound cringe but its hitting me pretty hard. I wish iron mouse nothing but the best!
Try not to think about who "deserves" to get better. I guess the best you can do is pay it forward by doing as much as you can with that second chance.
Nothing cringe about feeling your feelings man, you're good.
have you considered talking with a therapist with your survivor’s guilt? you deserve good things 😭
is it bad to feel sad because someone has it harder than you? is it bad to be happy when there’s someone who has everything they ever wanted?
no!
@@Amorphous_Sand I will do my very best!
@@Valkahike appreciate you.
I'm so glad that Mousey was born into this age, being able to be treated with her condition and even more importantly, being able to express herself online via her Vtuber avatar
She might be weak physically, but inside, she's among the strongest people that exist
Well only narcissists really hate themselves and they are compensating by projection etc. so you meant to say weakest probably. But it is interesting that she can present herself virtually (without being herself). That's either some next level therapy or the final stage of pathology. Time will tell.
@@jankucera8505 certified wtf are you on about moment.
@@jankucera8505 cringe bro
Sup Gumbee 🤝
@@blissfu_lee8522 My man 🤝
One take away I have is that she didn't dodge the existential questions of what you're doing here and her body failed her to rob her of her passion of singing. She went to that chasm of hopelessness and sat there... luckily she had time and here's where she's actually strong because she sat there and then decided that she seems to have time and what she should do with it. Instead of despairing and fading away, or I should say AFTER despairing and fading away, she took on new roles and tried new things and she found purpose/happiness or at least a new higher level of functioning.
Wow... I've thought Vtubers were kinda weird with my surface level understanding but... I guess I graduated to simp now because I think I would defend Ironmouse at all costs. The parallels between myself and this person are pretty plentiful so far.
@@thotslayer9914 With that username I'm just gonna assume you're a troll.
it do be like that. not just with vtubers but with pretty much anything. we tend to be very quick to write off things we don't understand as weird, but when you get into it its usually nothing like what you thought.
I think a lot of people have that issue with new entertainment. I think people like VTubers in a similar way to how people like wrestlers. Kayfabe is fun.
You're being parasocial dude. Take those feelings and apply them to your immediate surroundings. They're good, but you're not actually friends with Mouse, that's a trick your mind is playing on you.
dude, I'm a grown ass 30 year old man who works in disability support (palliative care), Mouses story is touching and brought me to tears and that's not easy to do. the part where she cares and feels guilty for her condition sucks so much, its also inspiring to see Mouse grow and become a person that so many people can watch and make others day better.
As a recovering shut-in (still kind of am), I resonate with Ironmouse on the "I feel like an alien" level. Though I have no regrets, I feel like I'm wasting my health in my room. For example, Ironmouse cannot live the life I could, even though she wants to. I can but I don't want to and after this I feel a bit embarrassed.
We'll get gud. Just gotta keep trying.
I love being a shut in introvert gamer but honestly i turned 30 past couple months and feel now suddenly like im wasting my best years i have left being young because i dont go changing a thing 💀
I was wondering if someone was going to say what I felt. I wish Ironmouse could be me, she deserves it so much more than I could do with my life.
@@mitchellscanga747 We all have our stuff to go through, sometimes is just not so clear or physical. I've been through highs and lows like a rollercoaster, but I'm still here, we all are.
It's not about being more deserving or fortunate, it's just about doing your best today, regardless of yesterday. Just don't give up. Everything can change in a moment and it will all feel worth it, i promise you.
Remember people, life is not a race, it's a marathon. You shouldn't compete with others or even have the same goals. You should just strive to be better than what you were yesterday. Mouse is proof of that.
A great analogy, I cry a little for Mousey but also am inspired by her strength
The implication of Mouse hearing her mother asking in prayer why her sins led to Mouse's physical state, horrifying
One of the good things to come out of 19th century science- disconnecting disease and medical conditions from moral judgement (mostly)
@@williamchamberlain2263 Better explanation: God permits injustice to strengthen his followers. Therefore, Ironmouse and her family, as long as they keep the faith and bolster it with works, will ultimately be stronger.
@@SirBlackReeds while I understand your sentiment, I also feel it’s unfair to say such a thing when there are people who had terminal illnesses who did everything correctly, kept faith, kept trying, never gave up hope, etc. who DIDNT make it. It almost makes it seem like they “didn’t try hard enough” even though that very well may not be the case (and I know that is definitely not what you meant with your words, I was just taking it to the more extreme end of how it could possibly be interpreted). I don’t say this in any hateful way or to undermine your words, I just want you to be careful to whom you say things like that to, because it can be hurtful if you’re not careful.
Gotta love Christianity…..
@@SirBlackReeds Amen.
God did have a path for her, just not the one that many would have hoped for. This isn’t to handwave her situation, but you can’t deny how many she reached through this medium with encouragement and inspiration to keep going.
Is it ideal? No, but it is what’s here… or maybe it is in an odd kind of way.
But i still agree.
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." - Oscar Wilde
VTubers embody philosophical concepts related to Jung's Personae and Baudrillard's Simulacra in a fascinating way.
Personae: Personae are often associated with pseudonymity. They represent crafted identities that individuals adopt for various purposes, like online personas in social media or gaming. These personae can be authentic expressions of the person behind them or entirely fictional constructs.
Simulacra: Simulacra represent complex constructs that may or may not be rooted in authenticity. They can involve various layers of representation, potentially blurring the lines between pseudonymity and authenticity. For example, a social media influencer might maintain a pseudonymous online persona that is carefully curated but does not necessarily reflect their entire authentic self.
In essence, VTubers use pseudonymity and the creation of virtual personas to explore and express various facets of themselves or to provide a unique and entertaining experience for their audience. They often feel freer to express their thoughts, feelings, and creativity through their virtual avatars, which may lead to more genuine and unfiltered interactions with their viewers.
That's actually really cool, I had never heard that before. I made a comment basically explaining the same thing, that being allowed to wear this mask has given her anonymity and the freedom to be her true self without having to worry on how what she says and does will reflect on her personally.
Had to pause the video 4-5 times, just kept crying. What a wonderful person, what an amazing heart.
I'm overwhelmed with joy that I've been introduced to Ironmouse. Thank you HealthyGamerGG for making this happen.
A very refreshing change of pace from the other first reactions I've seem on this comment section.
Thank you for opening your mind and listening to her experiences instead of just getting hung up on how she presents herself online.
Damn didn't expect to feel this much connection with a pink anime devil girl
I have chronic illness too and the feels. I agree she's really eloquent.
People would be surprised of how common it is to be homebound and extremely isolated by chronic illness cause those who are are invisible given they're at home. Personally I never got the anime vTuber and it's not my taste, that aside I can appreciate how she found value and a platform through that when you can't physically go out we still need to connect and that's what she's doing. Thanks girl for sharing and thank you Dr. K for spreading awareness on profound chronic illness/disability- it's rare be represented on this end of the disability spectrum.
There was a thing in there early on that was super cool. Dr. K talks a lot about facial fluctuations and how expressions are the key to connecting. He probably had a moment where he realised that the Vtuber face had a much more limited range of motion, and since Mouse was laughing and smiling, her face was basically locked in one expression. So his question of how the face works and the request of an example was probably one part genuine human curiosity and one part professional evaluation - 'where can I find my emotional cues?'
Totally didn't expect to see Ironnouse on this channel, I'm very much looking forward to watching this
Who do people expect to see on this channel? 🤔
@@WanderTheNomad Probably expecting people that work in/have experience about the topics discussed on this channel.
So the appearance of an "online celebrity" (forgive me for the lack of terms) let alone a Vtuber like Ironmouse of all people certainly is surprising.
But me and many others are glad this took place as it sheds light on many important things that needed to be addressed.
@@_xO-Ox_ ah, you must've started watching Dr. K after he started having less interviews with streamers. I'm still a little surprised though since they consist the majority of this channel's most popular videos.
@@WanderTheNomad That is true, I'll admit. This channel has been on my radar for a while now and only recently I decided to start watching videos in depth rather than just skimming and getting the general gist of things.
And yeah, now that I've looked more into it, what you say is very true. Which makes me feel a bit weird at first seeing somebody "bridging" the gap between such vastly different fields.
But I'm starting to get used to it, makes things feel more "humanized" and not the usual detachment you feel from people working in this field, which is nice.
Mouse is an absolute trooper and deserves every ounce of respect.
She deserves more 🥳
This brought up so much emotions in me that I found myself in tears multiple times, I still am as am typing this message. I suffer from severe eczema and I relate so much to the feeling of not feeling like a normal human being, self hatred, having religious parents being desperate to try anything and being taken advantage of, feeling helpless in seeing them taken advantage of and not being able to convince them. The shame, anxiety, anger, the feeling of not wanting to be pitied, to be treated like normal. I've been through it all and still processing them.
I never expected to connect so deeply with your story/experience Ironmouse. I've known about you and I have now seen you in a new light. You have my respect for being brave and having such positive outlook that I know came after deep suffering. I wish you much more happiness in your life. Hopefully some of your courage has seeped into me to motivate me further in improving my life.
Thank you Dr. K. for bringing such wonderful platform to life, you have my utmost respect and admiration. I've been around the channel since around beginning of Reckful videos and being here has helped me in improving my life little by little.
Stay safe fellow human person. I have come out of a 10 year depression. During that time i got increadibly fucked teeths.(according too me). My teeths still fucked but i have slowly but surely found myself in the last 2 years. And i’m so surtain that I am revived and will be able too be a joy too other again. A smile, even an ugly one is amazing if you dont force it. I lived for 7 years stiffeling my smile. I’m now proud of my permanent marks, they show that i was strong enough too stay here.
Sry for venting i just want too brag abit for getting out of the shit! (And maby, just maby be a bit inspiring at the same time) :)
@@pappaOfswe Hell yeah, dude. You have all the right to brag. Getting out of depression and feeling comfortable with yourself is a massive victory.
Dr. K being on a mental health chat with mouse as a Vtuber and it being as serious as a normal therapist visit is so wholesome, novel, and funny to me at the exact same time.
I've learned more in this 2-hour video about someone else's problems than I have in my own 30-minute therapy sessions. It never feels like enough. Man.
It's always so interesting to hear about others' internal journeys. These are my favorite type of dr K interviews
yeah i learn a lot from these
I've been struggling with major depression disorder for over a decade now, and there's something so... groundbreaking? about this entire conversation. There was such a beautiful connection and perspective from both parties, and the whole angle on everyone wearing a "mask" that Dr. K talks about all of the time, this feels like an evolutionary step in relationships where that mask isn't required, if that makes sense? Like we are treading new ground into the future? There's just something so beautiful about two minds with no physical baggage, expectations, insecurities, etc. kindling and conversing where the mask isn't apart of the equation; it gives me hope for the future.
Thank you, Mouse, it's been a long time since I've felt this inspired.
I don't know where i've heard this (Anonymous ? internet culture ?) but i feel people wearing a mask are not on the internet. On the internet where you're mostly anonymous you're free to do and say whatever you want so you're your "true" self
(That being said it's also easy to fake yourself)
@@neodymus "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he'll tell you the truth."
-Oscar Wilde
@@Inspirit-gp4dp oh thanks
I have an autoimmune disease, and I know the massive struggle it takes to reach a place where you can build new expectations and goals for yourself and find your new “normal”. Grieving the loss of our old normals is a point that doesn’t get talked about a lot, and I always struggle with how to convey this to people who have recently been diagnosed who ask for advice. This will be an excellent talk to forward to them. Thank you for the brilliant honesty and for sharing your strength!!
1:54:21 When Dr K says that Mouse is worth any potential trouble for being her friend, I broke out into tears because he's absolutely right. And I hope that Mouse can really internalize that and come to the same conclusion. Because she totally is worth it, and I'm fairly sure that all her friends would easily pay that price just to hang out with her. Heck, Connor would probably pay three times the price if that's what it took.
Opera singer here. I loved this interview. Didn't know Ironmouse was trying to reach this goal. Hav to watch her content more often :)
She sings very well, there is a video out on UA-cam where you can hear her sing. It is Beautiful!
@@JCKNEESE need to check it right away :o
@@JCKNEESE She's amazing!!!! Sounds like Mezzo-soprano. She can do actually Musical really good. But man, doing like that without a long-term coaching is pretty good. Nice talent, nice potential. I LOVE HER VOICE!
@@FranciscusList she is a coloratura soprano
@@Ojisan642 Well we can argue about that one, for sure. But important is for her, what she can make and how she feels. If it's Coloratura Soprano. Then let it be it. I mean, people have problems with me as well cause I'm Baritone, but like to sing high, so they often think I'm a tenor and sometimes, when I sing low, they think I'm a bass-baritone. :D
42:09 wow .. really profound realization from her, I was just thinking about this same thing recently; I learned it from Victor Frankl's book "a man's search for meaning". “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
Thanks for the qoute, Might have to read that book someday.
just read that book myself!
Damn, I'm one judgemental mf. I used to think that mouse was just another generic vtuber capitalizing on the wave but hearing her story makes me realize how wrong i was
True, but then again, I've never not had that feeling when Dr. K digs into a conversation with someone.
To me, the lesson is nobody is a "generic" anything. Everyone's got a whole ocean of complexity under there.
@@dr.zoidberg8666 we only see the surface of them now not the in depth picture of who they are and have been and why they are that way
I dunno how dr k isn't bawling the whole way through, I swear it dosnt get easier to listen to mouseys story without my throat tightening and welling up. Its so impressive how she's come through time and again. Super inspirational ❤
Ppl are commenting about so many negative comments in the video, but i had to dig deep in the comments to find a single negative one. Just ignore the haters, i wish all the best for mouse :)
I cried in parts where Mouse has accepted life as it is. She is truly inspirational.
lol
"You can't mimic tear your way through everything" is so much deeper an analogy the more I think about it and it's a scary thought.
The moment I read this comment, I heard the line in the actual interview. What the black magic fuckery is this?
I can't mimic tear my way through anything... I don't have the HP for it.
Shut up. Let me bring some levity into the discussion.
can you explain it to me? I dont get it:(
@@FrostBitn it’s an Elden ring reference
@@FrostBitn Mimic tear is an elden ring summon that summons your clone to fight alongside you. The clone is usually more efficient, but doesn't use your playstyle.
I miss the interviews. The other content is awesome, but having an interview once or twice a month at least, even different issues with the same youtubers (different episodes), and different ones with different ones. Gives perspective, insight, and we all like to listen to our favorite creators even in a new light.
I had no idea what this was and wow am I glad I listened. Bless both of you. An insightful conversation.
Its amazing how well mouse understands what her mental state is and how well she is dealing with it..I just hope she lives long and happy life (as much as possible)...and everyone should see this..to understand that vtubers are ppl as well and they are too dealing with a lot of real life crap..and they could use less of internet trolls fcking with them..
My husband has a really shitty autoimmune disease, which dominates pretty much every aspect of our life. But, you know, people die trying to climb Everest for the view. That weirdo is my Everest. Simple as that, really.
Make sure you tell them that. Every day, if need be.
Wow. Absolutely amazing interview.
This was exceptionally inspirational and brave of Ironmouse to share her side of the story regarding her condition.
Major kudos to you both for providing such a great conversation that can hopefully connect with others out there that are going through a similar situation! 😊👊🏻
This made me want to be Mouse's friend, not out of pity or everything she's lived through; but because she's so authentic and sincere, has a lot of depth, insight, and kindness; and I found myself interested for the entire 2h 10m.
I could relate to so much of this oddly enough. Even though I'm healthy, I picked a career as a Game Artist, and I've struggled through my 20s just staying at home, isolated, and having to work and improve all the time to "make it", while my friends lived their lives, had relationships, friendships, traveled etc. And I'm almost at the end of my 20s, became skilled, and I'm only just entering the industry as a result of the isolation and work. I feel behind all my friends, and don't feel normal in a lot of the same ways Mouse talks about (while recognizing Mouse's challenges are far more difficult than anything I've dealt with physically). And oddly enough, as a motorcyclist too I feel most like myself when I have a helmet / armor on OR when I stay up late at night, because no one can judge me, and that's when I become my truest self. "Fear of Judgement" is the keyword here, because even self-esteem is often a fear of how we're perceived by the external world.
This was a pleasure to listen to while I worked. I'm always grateful to Dr.K for creating a safe space for this kind of dialogue both for the speakers, and all of us listening. 💜
From what I hear games industry is hard work little pay, but at least you aren't in Japan to produce anime which is supposedly worse.
Seriously, I don't know about your situation, but their are other nearby industries which might allow you to do better. Just so you know that if you think you are stuck, their are other options if you need them.
I'm going to repeat to you what someone else said in the comments here: life isn't a race, it's a marathon. You shouldn't be bothered with the other runners, but focus in your own race and in pushing forward at your own pace.
22:30 "I just decided there is no answer, it happened because it happens. I could keep on wondering or decide it happened what do I do now"
As someone who was depressed during my teenage years I spent a lot of time self reflecting and this is basically the same conclusion I came to, life happens all that we can control is how we react to it, and also inner peace with my demons. I think I have pretty good EQ now because of it.
you just came up with stoicism
I mean.. I don't know if its because of depression that you came down to that conclusion. I definitely used to think that when I was depressed(and still is). For many, that just comes to them naturally without having to experience depression (which is so surprising to me). I kind of envy them because people just seem to know how to live life with balanced emotions and self-reflection. I never understood when people responded to my depression with 'Just work with what you've got and change the things you can change. And enjoy life!'. But now I understand it completely and its just much harder for me to think like that compared to other healthy people lol
Its so easy for us to fall into the Just World Fallacy that bad things happen to us because we deserve it. Sometimes bad things happen to people for no reason other than chance.
@@bapbirb Bro you really need to stop comparing yourself to others and assuming things about others, too. Depression doesn't just go away, either, I for one have it for life even with this mindset.
The difference is, you aren't seeing those other people suffer, because they don't want you to.
And depression isn't especially rare either, it and other mental illnesses combined affect 1 in 4 people. You aren't alone, the advice you got was from experience. Even things like grief- which happen to everyone- can cause a period of depression shorter than 3 years, which doesn't count towards the statistic.
Mouse is a great person but that doesn't make the conclusion she came to correct
There is only so much you can come with by yourself
Not that I'm blaming her
But the answer isn't just cause it happened. There are many reasons behind why things happen
Generally most of them are good no matter how bad they seem
This was a great interview
I actually watch mouses streams strictly because of her, And I'm not a gamer. Just seeing her raw and heart on her sleeve self is inspiring and peaceful. Catching up on her videos is what brought me here and this interview had me in tears. ❤️❤️
She is amazing, being this incredibly strong. I really appreciate this interview, thank you for being so honest
now I feel real bad
Like 2 or 3 years ago mouse was on a podcast I listened to religiously and that was the first time hearing her, I thought she was just trying real hard to sound like an anime character and was being super cringe so I skipped the podcast entirely because of it, but as she came in more times and when she started hanging out with cdawgva i have really come to enjoy her and she is an icon in my eyes as a person who keeps moving forward no matter what anyone says. I have even more respect for her considering I was one of the people who hated on her all those years ago
No shame in admitting fault and being able to move beyond it! Good on ya
Agreed. You are that much better of a person and better of owning up to and recognizing your own bias. We all form biases and snap judgements. Its how our brains evolved to survive and categorize information quickly. But its on us also to review and audit those default thoughts \ judgements. Good on you
naw literally even back then she said she was in character, like referring to her voice she knew what she was doing so its normal if you were averse to it! nothing to feel bad about it was her stylistic choice of character
"I thought she was just trying real hard" You can tell if somebody was faking it if you listened to them for long enough, on the long run speaking in a tone that is not natural for you is tiring for your vocal cords, so after a long time a person who is pretending has a trouble and is more likely to break character if they haven't already done so.
@@werrkowalski2985 well her voice has changed listen to it 2 or 3 years ago it was a higher pitched character afterall
Wow. I used to think vtubers were cringey and desperate. I can't believe how much maturity and emotional intelligence lies behind this vtuber. Ironmouse is an inspiration. I have gained a lot of respect for vtubers now.
Why would you think that in the first place?
Tbh, from what I have seen Vtubers themselves are pretty normal as far as streamer personalities go. It's largely their chats which are cringey and desperate.
The vtuber fan community is cringe. Not vtubers themselves, most of the time.
That interview was so genuine and emotionally productive. I can't stop smiling. 😊
and connor was in chat the whole time. what a friend :)
I remember that he said that he watched around half of it, but then fell asleep, since it was late for him.
As someone who is young and also has a chronic illness that is really impacting me in having a normal life. Def, when she was talking about things being taken away and not hitting the milestones society, expects you to. This interview was really interesting and heartbreaking to hear. I don't know her, but it's amazing she found her way and ended up being a successful Vtuber. She is such a wonderful, strong, and well-spoken human.
About the falling into weirdness aspect: I used to be so ashamed of my autism. I studied social skills and practiced them for so long and so in depth that it actually became a benefit to others. My analytical approach to learning about social skills and caring about others, helped me be a very compassionate and empathetic person. I could have never had that level of care if I were normal.
My partner of 15+ is cronicly and severly ill and the insights from mouse and Dr. K have already led to some very positive conversations and deeper u derstanding. Thank you both for doing this. Even years later you're still helping people.
Damn, now I feel shit for feeling depressed over what happened to me a couple of months ago.
I was discarded by a narcissist/sociopath, was used and emotionally abused after sacrificing and giving everyting for her, she cheated on me, gaslighted me etc as they do. She just overnight treated me like I never mattered to her, I had to move countries to even have somewhere to stay and had to start life over from scratch. It's been awful and the worst emotional pain I've felt in my life.
But then I watch this absolutely wonderful human being talk about what she's been through and.. It brings tears to my eyes. I wish I was as strong as her.
And I realize I have nothing to be depressed about - I still have my body, I still have my mind (although I did have a mental breakdown from the trauma) and I can go out in the world and do what I want.
Ironmouse is an inspiration to the world, truly.
The fact that other people have suffered more than you does not mean that you are not allowed to feel sad, don't feel dumb or bad for feeling sad, aknowledge this feelings, learn from them, but don´t cling to them, let them run their course and let them go away. You are gonna be fine, you just need some time to heal. :)
Time heals all wounds. It will get better.
@@Mrthedutchman1 Dank je man, ik weet het. But going forward I will be much more careful.
Mijn ex is Nederlands, maar ik laat dat mijn liefde voor Nederlands niet veranderen. (assuming you're Dutch, lmao)
"I'd love to learn more."
"Help me understand."
"Tell me about that."
THIS MAN KNOWS HOW TO ASK QUESTIONS.
Better than most journalists these days
None of them are questions, and somehow the answer comes out anyway.
It's very basic therapist speak. Not trying to undermine your views, it's just how therapists *should* speak to keep a client/patient talking.
I laughed a little too hard when mouse was like, “I feel like I’ve been trying to ‘Get Good’ my WHOLE LIFE!!!”
What a truly beautiful human. She talks of being a monster/thing but I think that she is one of the most human people I've ever heard speak.
YT has been recommending this video for weeks. After finally succumbing and watching it, I'm really surprised at how profound a conversation this is.
man, coming back to watch this really nails home how much of a planetary treasure is Mousey 🥺♥️ she deserves all the love & Plasma
I would love to see a update interview with mouse now and see how much she has progressed! From what I’ve seen in her streams she has been doing amazingly good! I’m so proud of her and happy to see Dr.K did this.
You'll be happy to know she has another session scheduled for the end of this month.
@@forklauncherI guess she wasn’t able to make it didn’t see a new video yet
@@SaiyanCherry Yeah, it got delayed, don't think either of them has stated a new date for it.
Rescheduled to November, apparently, don't know a specific date.
Eh, I say give until midway through 2024 at the earliest. Why? There's no beating around the bush, but historically speaking, America has treated Catholics like bloodsucking parasites that need to be eradicated. When the immigrants stepped off the boats, America was aghast because it saw a bunch of "papists" spreading "Popery." Those kinds of tensions don't just go away, and VShojo's fanbase can play the "inclusive space" tune all they want but the reality is that they use the same tricks as the ones they claim to oppose: the "us vs them" rhetoric, the process of the othering, the emphasis on assimilation/acceptable transformation of the problem of difference, etc.
Simply put, if Ron DeSantis becomes the Republican nominee (and president), then will VShojo's fanbase, even if it's just the people who put the trans pride flags in their bios and allies, start breaking down the doors and start demanding that "the papist" be fired because they fear their very way of life is at stake? What'll VShojo do in that scenario? Need I remind you that VShojo is based in San Fransicko? Such nativism would (theoretically) be more brutal in a digital space because of the emotional damage.
Huh didn't expect mouse to talk to Dr.K . Pleasantly surprised
That conversation about separating from the mind and recognizing that your thoughts aren't reality. Hearing that just made me feel like a weight was lifted off of me like suddenly I understand myself a lot more. It helped so much to hear that thank you
As a Catholic and Latin American, i can relate to mouse on the amount of guilt and embarrassment that Mousey experienced. I can't even imagine though how much more worst it was for someone like her with her health condition. Thank you mousey for allowing us to see this vulnerable side and allowing us to love you more.
2:04:59 "Accepting doom in your life is way easier than accepting that you deserve love."
oof
Just now seeing this and I really appreciate it. Hearing from someone with serious health problems but still found a way to be outgoing and happy through technology is encouraging. I'm more reserved and this makes me feel I have no excuse not to put myself out there more. Ty Dr. K and TY Mouse for sharing.
Before watching, my hypothesis about vtubers is that the avatar acts as a protective layer of separation. It alleviates fear of rejection, and that probably feels liberating. If a person was to reject a vtuber, the vtuber might rationalize that the person is rejecting the character they portray, rather than their true self. But at the same time, this is problematic because it works both ways; someone could just as easily rationalize that another person is *accepting* the character they portray rather than their true self, which has the potential to be very damaging for someone with low self-esteem. Anonymity can provide freedom from consequence, both negative and positive, depending on the individual's perspective.
Halfway through watching, I came to the realization that this hypothesis has much broader applications and isn't limited to vtubers. It can apply to anyone that (figuratively) wears a mask.
This interview should be kept somewhere as one of the treasures of the internet.
As someone who grew up In a very religious house I can only imagine how much worse it must have be for her. The guilt and shame that must come from feeling like your broken and can't be fixed must suck (also all the fake cures must have be hard to put up with under those circumstances).
I also come from an extremely religious upbringing. That bit about the teas that were supposed to "cure" her and all that stuff made me cringe. I understand completely how predatory some religious sects can be and have indeed seen firsthand how some of these "practices" play out. And gosh... I'm having flashbacks thinking about it....
I loved this interview on Twitch. Can’t wait to watch it again here :)
Watching these interviews really hit sometimes like a truck. They make you self reflect every time. Keep them up Dr. K!
this has me crying i knew nothing about ironmouse i just like dr k videos but i knew of her but never watched and bro her story man im crying i hope things improve for her she seems like a really good person who deserves the best
Hey, wait a minute! She's Catholic. What exactly are the odds that if Ron DeSantis becomes president that VShojo's fanbase, at least sectors of it, will start demanding her to be thrown out like garbage? They can say spout the "inclusive space" line all they want, but they use the same tricks as those that they complain about: the "us vs them" rhetoric, the process of the othering, the emphasis on assimilation/acceptable transformation of the problem of difference, etc. Not to mention that a substantial number of fans live in America, a country that's historically treated Catholics like a tick that desperately needs to be removed. Those kinds of tensions don't just go away.
I reiterate, if VShojo's fanbase, even if it's just the people who put the trans pride flags in their bios and allies, start breaking down the doors and start demanding that "the papist" be fired because they fear their very way of life is at stake, what's going to happen? Need I remind you that VShojo is based in San Fransicko?
This is an eye opening. In the end, ppl behind the persona is also real human that has their own background and unique set of problems. Thank you for bringing up her story.
I'm mindblown! I never though that a vtuber would describe situations that are so relatable. I used to think about myself just like mousey did: ashamed for not being "normal", not achieving societys expectations and milestones and seeing myself as a creature rather than a person, locked inside a flesh prison - difference is, I'm just fat and had grown up as a fat kid in a fatphobic household, no diseases or limitations associated. Our thoughts (not our body) are our real home and we must take care of them. This girl has so much wisdom, so much to share! My appreciation for this interview goes way beyond a comment in youtube. Thank you Dr. K and Mousey!
we should also take care of our bodies tho, we rely on it everyday
This was just wonderful to watch. I mainly watch Mousey though clips and stuff and I really like her general vibe and energy. I also had a general idea about her condition and struggles so watching this interview and having her talk through her struggles and how she overcame a lot of them is super inspiring and almost makes me kinda proud of her, in a weird way. Life really is what you make of it, and Mousey certainly made the most out of the unfortunate hand life dealt her. I hope she keeps up what she's doing and has a great time with streaming and everything else.
As a side note, the whole thing about the VTuber persona/mask allowing people to be more authentic is an interesting observation. It probably depends on the type of person, but I've definitely seen a lot of VTubers that have expressed that they never felt comfortable acting irl the way they do on-stream so putting on that "mask" counterintuiviely made them more comfortable with just being themselves. Maybe it's because instead of a figurative one that people in general put on, there's a much more concrete mask that they're putting on that gives it a layer of separation from what their "real" identity is. I wonder if it feels to them like they're being themselves or if it's closer to acting like a different person that happens to act the way their own authentic self would. Interesting food for thought.
That said, ultimately I just think it's wonderful that VTubing has allowed people that don't feel comfortable putting their real name and face out there to still be able to stream or otherwise make content, build a community, and just have some fun doing something they like.
It's honestly always so interesting to see these interviews, because they both give an insight to very specific situations while also being helpful for people in those specific and similar situations.
On the whole anger thing.
I mean, like, it might not be this way for mouse, but... some people who have had the world shit on them lock up their anger. They don't let themselves feel it, because if they do, it'll open the floodgates and they're afraid they won't stop being angry. Like she talked about with crying, but for anger.
Yes very true. The fear that you become just as angry and cruel as the world if you let yourself be angry is ever present.
Wow. This girl is a natural philosopher. While talking about time she said: "it feels like a day can be a month and a month can be a minute." That hit me really hard.
I mean, that's isn't a philosophy. It's something that people just...tend to feel when they go through something difficult/traumatic.
This is what philosophy sounds to people that don't understand philosophy
Mouse is really down to earth and she is so sweet
You made me think about what friendship truely is.
Thanks for making me think about things.
Friends to me is people we share this chaotic journey throughout this life with.
Love them, hate them, share your world with them, they often deserve nothing less than your love.
around 1:55:00 the thing about friendship NOT BEING a net positive thing... needed to hear that
This has to be my favorite episode so far. Mouse is so unbelievably inspiring
Mouse was an amazing guest, great interview Dr. K!
Really needed the part about not sending expeditions when it's not necessary. I kinda fucked up/slowed down my own progress this past year trying to fix too much at once and worry about things that I could have let be.
ive watched almost all of the interviews on this channel. This is the best one. Period.
very interesting interview. She sounds very introspective despite her being very nervous.
Mouse is so adorable, I'm glad you interviewed her!
her perseverance and energy is beautiful. known her since her streams with Connor but not really watched any of them apart from a few clips. might peak my interest more now
2024: Ironmouse is a bigger powerhouse and industry leader than ever. Her vocal health has continued to improve with better access to her lower register, she's not only able to finish songs from beginning to end now but is working on a full album for release next year ― even if we'll never get to hear her at her peak, her audience is proud of how far she's come.
There are times when she's rallying chat during subathon where I notice hints of Connor's influence and personality in her as she radiates confidence. It makes me think back to this interview, when Dr. K talks to Mouse about friendship, about letting people in and giving them a chance to show they care.
@@putsticker kind of made me choke up a bit. Mouse is awesome and she deserves the world and more
1:57:00 This whole part, man. Loving someone isn't about being able to handle it, loving someone is about making the choice to try, and every time you decide that they're worth it to try, that's choosing love. (Loving yourself is included here and comes first, airplane safety and all that)
I feel like when you're presenting you as yourself, there's a sort of feeling of accountability. That everything that you do and say reflects back on to how others will perceive you, so we tend to act in a way that isn't necessarily authentic for the sake of preserving our social standing. But when you're hiding behind an actual mask, it provides you with anonymity. A freedom to act the way you truly want to and be authentic in a way you never could previously and know that it can't be traced back to you in a meaningful way. This obviously has some issues on the internet because some people are assholes and can't be held liable for it, but it allows you to be yourself without repercussions and there's a certain beauty in that. It's an experience that is uniquely online and can't truly be experienced anywhere else. Cases like Ironmouse show why it's important to have even with its drawbacks. To have a safe space where you don't have to worry about being socially agreeable and can express yourself.
I've just stumbled upon this. Far from being in a medical condition like Mousey's, but being depressed for most of my life, feeling like psychoterapists and correlated therapies aren't working makes me feel like I'm running out of options fast. Mousey's truthfulness comes as a breath of fresh air because it made me think "dude, you are not in the end of the world right now, stop whining." Dr K's considerations felt like a therapy session with a friend, and it impressed me a lot. awesome video to watch.