I have to give you props for waiting till it's time to replace your patch. I've been sober for awhile now, but I never had self control during my addiction. I hope you are well and go down the path that you decide on...Much love -🤘
Thank you so much! The temptation is always there of course, and I’m not going to say I never take other opiates that I have access too, as it is a really struggle sometimes. I have to believe I’ll see the other side of it though! It’s amazing to hear you’re sober now, you’ve done incredibly and should be super proud ☺️
I am a recovering addict as well and I just started putting content on my channel. I didn't really know what I wanted to do it first as far as UA-cam and I think now I just want to kind of tell my story but it gets hard because things that don't seem like a big deal to me or just freakishly outlandish to other people and it's really hard to decipher what is and what isn't because talking about Fentanyl patches to me is no big deal but other people just aren't used to hearing that everyday. I used to cut the patches open and eat the gel out of it over the course of a couple of days and that was a hundred micrograms it was my favorite, fentanyl was always my absolute favorite but it just got really hard to get and I only knew one guy that got the patches and I would buy them from him and eventually it led into heroin which honest-to-god was never my favorite but it was cheaper and then it just seemed like it was always available and easier to get. Finding pills was becoming hit-or-miss so heroine was just easier but I've been off of all of that for 6 years and honestly, if it wasn't for Methadone and going to the methadone clinic. I don't know what I would have done because doing that, I was able to not worry about having to be sick after the first week because they only start you on like 30 mg and if you're using a lot of opiates then 30 mg is not much so for like the first week, until it gets in your body and you're able to go up 5 mg each day, finally getting to a stable dose but the first week is the worst because you do still feel withdrawals and I remember being so angry because I thought that starting methadone, that was it and I would not have to use street drugs anymore but that was not the case, I did have to go out and keep getting something for the first week but after that, it just got to where it was better and better and it was okay and I didn't have to do anything anymore and I'm still going to the methadone clinic but it's way cheaper and easier than what I was doing. I could just never go back to that life. Maybe that's something you would consider? I'm sure you've thought about it before. We all think about choices that we have but it was the best decision I ever made to be honest and you can always do it for like six months and then come down slowly but if you're truly addicted then methadone is basically a pacifier. It keeps you satisfied just enough to where you don't run out and do drugs from the street. I think it's important that we all talked about this stuff because people don't understand unless they have been through it and so, us talking about it is the closest that they're ever going to get to understanding
@@carriethompson84 I’m so glad you’re getting the help now and have found something that works for you! I’ve though about going down that route a lot I just don’t feel ready atm. Plus I have the issue with pain, and that really scares me (probably the reason I’m not yet ready to come off it). Because I want to know my pain will be managed, as that’s a huge trigger for me. When I take opiates, it not only makes me feel good but it stops my pain.. win win! Well it’s not but it feels that way. Keep doing well though, you’ve got this 🙌🏻
@@amieelizaa it is hard and it can be scary but you'll know when you're ready. I mean honestly, if you're waiting the full 3 days to put on your neck pass, then you're really not abusing is but if you're doing it before the three days then we already both know LOL. That's really the only way I would say that you needed to think about another route because we both know that fentanyl withdrawals are no joke. Fentanyl is 80 times stronger than the strongest Street heroin you can find which means the withdrawals are 80 times stronger but if you're waiting 3 days then I wouldn't necessarily say that's a problem. My pain got worse when I took the pain medication and the pills got really expensive at the time, heroin seemed very cheap but when your tolerance goes up, it seems like it's just as expensive as the pills were and you never knew what you were going to get either, when it comes to heroin. It was always, is it going to be any good? Am I going to be sick?, scut is going to be in it? It just wasn't worth it anymore but the methadone helps with my pain. That's the only thing I took after I had my son because I was on it through my whole pregnancy and I was up and walking around the day I got out of the hospital and people couldn't believe it! There's a lot of people that go to the methadone clinic just for the maintenance of their pain. Thank you for your kind words
I've been off pain meds since Dec 30, 2020 after an 11 year dependence due to an assault followed by a horrific car accident 2 years later. At the end, I was taking 28-35 perc 10s a day... I was fed up and I was done. I went to suboxone and it's crazy how much less I hurt. With a broken neck/smashed jaw/ etc the only time I feel pain is when I lay down at night... it feels like electricity is zapping my legs... but that's it. I do really well with suboxone for pain management. I don't envy your position one iota.
Well hi Amie. Just wanted to say I find your videos very interesting. My name is Sheryl and I am a correctional officer here in the States. This doesn't have much to this video but since it was your most recent, I figured I'd comment here. I would love to share this technique with you that I use at work and would love your thoughts on it as well. Basically I wanted to come up with a quick way to grab the inmates attention after it took us way too long to break up a fight once. So what I do is I yell 'TROUBLE' and when I do, my inmates know to drop what they are doing, line up and wait for further instructions. My inmates picked up on this quick and I really only had to explain it once. I even did what I like to call "trouble drills" with them to practice. This has helped me a ton with breaking up fights, count times, searches, if I need to cuff a bunch up etc. I chose the word 'trouble' cause its an easy identifiable word. Plus if I have to yell it, that means trouble is happening or coming or you are about to be in trouble. The inmates always seemed to appreciate this since they knew I did this for their safety. Other officers even started doing this too which was great to see. After a while, officers and inmates started calling me Officer Trouble and the name stuck. My question to you is, as an inmate, would you have had an issue with me doing this with you? And I'd love to get your general thoughts on this technique as well. Thanks for reading and I hope you don't mind the long comment :)
Thank you for your comment and I’m glad you enjoy the videos, that means so much 😊 That’s great that works for you! And it seems like you’re going about things the right way to gain respect from the prisoners. I actually wasn’t an inmate but I worked in a prison (although I’ve now left the prison service). I think anything you can do to be respectful but also gain respect from the prisoners you should definitely continue with 😁
I must admit, when I had commented the first time, I had not watched the whole video but I am watching more of it now and I did the same thing with methadone. Instead of taking my whole dose in the morning, it's liquid, I will take half of it in the morning and then I will take half of it at night because it helps me sleep so much but then I wake up after like 4 hours. I don't get itchy or anything like that but I don't go out much or do anything much because I feel like I have to plan things around, what time are they wanting me to do this specific thing or come over to their house, I start thinking in my head, well is it going to be when my methadone is starting to wear off? You would think that it would last through the whole day and sometimes I think a lot of it is mental but I feel like my whole life is running around this s*** and it's like I know it but I won't stop. I feel like my son is ultimately going to suffer because sometimes we're in a bubble and that's so hard to admit and I've wanted to do a video about this but the fact that I have a child, I just feel like admitting that just makes me look like the most horrible mother so I feel like I am an active addiction but it's just cheaper and much easier to attain and I've seriously thought about just coming off the methadone but I haven't. I've been going to the methadone clinic for 6 years and I don't have to go every single day, only go once a week right now and you have to pass so many drug screens just to be able to get one week worth of take home doses. So you feel like you're getting rewarded, you don't have to go everyday, it's easier and it almost makes you not want to quit even more but I know people that do have to go every day and they don't care either I guess but I hated when I had to go everyday and if you fail one drug screen then you have to start going every day again so that's just not something I'm trying to do. I haven't done street drugs but I'm just starting to think I'm almost just as addicted in my mindset as I was on drugs. Once I take it and feel it, I start doing things, cleaning and I get a lot done also because that's when you feel your best and I keep thinking, I would have hard days if I came off of this, days where I didn't feel like doing anything but I feel like I would have more better days than off days. It's just a lot and I think about it all the time and it's getting to a point where I feel like I need to make a decision. Sorry this is so long but I have no one to talk to, my parents have tried telling me this or at least my dad and it's like I know it deep down but I don't want to admit to him that it's the methadone but he already knows anyway so it's not like I would be saying anything he doesn't already know but, like you, I'm afraid to come off of the methadone because every two weeks, they suggest that you come down 5 mg which is the best and safest way to do it but I've had to do it in the past and I wasn't sleeping as well and I can do it at my own pace, I can come down 5 mg a month if I wanted to so it's just something that I need to think about really deciding to do because all I think about is going up, getting more and that's not doing anything. Eventually that won't be enough. I cannot imagine the fentanyl withdrawals. I've heard that the methadone withdrawals are just as bad because you have to think, it last 24 hours. It's just insane but I don't want to write a whole shitload on here LOL, I also subscribed! Maybe we can both support each other but I don't want to make you feel pressured. You did good on this video, you really came out and said a lot of things that I just couldn't think to do. I might do a video as well but I just have to be open and honest about it which is so hard so I commend you!
I get it, it’s so tough! You really do have to plan your whole life around it and it’s not great 🙄 last night I slept about 30 minutes because all I could think about is the fact I was getting to change my patch in the morning and now I have, I feel on top of the world and like I could anything. I think you’re right, a lot of it is mental. No one can push you to come off anything until you’re 100% ready, as I’m sure you’re fully aware else you just won’t do it and will end up on something worse no doubt. At least what you’re on at the moment is being managed, you know exactly what you’re getting and you’re also going in the right direction, especially only having to go weekly, that’s great! Everything has to be done when it’s right for you, fuck what anyone else says or thinks, they haven’t had to go through it and if they did, they wouldn’t be saying it. Yes definitely up for the mutual support! I think that’s the beauty of being on here, you can talk about what you want and if you don’t feel confident enough yet then I’m sure you’ve got a million other things to talk about until you do feel like you can make a similar video. For me it’s easier talking to strangers than my family and friends about all this 😂 but thank you, and thank you so much for subscribing 🥰
Hi, Amie have you tried another pain medication ? If you are so sensitive to changes in the dose, Metadone could be a good alternative. I´m a Chronic pain patient myself, I have been on the patches for many years, I changed every 2 days, and I have also tried nearly all the pain medication out there, I couldn´t use the patches anymore because of other diseases I have, so I´m on Oxycontins. I recognize a lot of your struggles, I´m impressed you are able to be in a relationship, that´s really hard. Best of luck to you :)
Hi, I’ve tried lots of different pain meds. Every single one that’s available here in the UK, they’ve said there’s nothing else to put me on so that’s why I’m staying on the fentanyl. But yes maybe methadone might work. The doctors have never mentioned it as an option so I didn’t realise it would help work pain so could work! Thank you so much ☺️ And to you!
No of course I don’t mind! My first video does explain in more detail but I was in a car crash and was prescribed painkillers but as your body gets used to them you need a higher dose and then something stronger. So I started on codeine and ended up on fentanyl 🙄 they never tried to sort the issue just gave me more and more meds!
@@amieelizaa wow i’m sorry to hear that. i just subscribed to you and i’ll be sure to watch your other videos. i respect you giving people the real shit like this. i’ve been thinking about making videos like this for a while now. although we’re strangers i’m proud of you. i’m sorry to hear about your accident. one day this will all be behind you. you have a good heart and deserve it 🙏
I have to give you props for waiting till it's time to replace your patch. I've been sober for awhile now, but I never had self control during my addiction. I hope you are well and go down the path that you decide on...Much love -🤘
Thank you so much! The temptation is always there of course, and I’m not going to say I never take other opiates that I have access too, as it is a really struggle sometimes. I have to believe I’ll see the other side of it though! It’s amazing to hear you’re sober now, you’ve done incredibly and should be super proud ☺️
I am a recovering addict as well and I just started putting content on my channel. I didn't really know what I wanted to do it first as far as UA-cam and I think now I just want to kind of tell my story but it gets hard because things that don't seem like a big deal to me or just freakishly outlandish to other people and it's really hard to decipher what is and what isn't because talking about Fentanyl patches to me is no big deal but other people just aren't used to hearing that everyday. I used to cut the patches open and eat the gel out of it over the course of a couple of days and that was a hundred micrograms it was my favorite, fentanyl was always my absolute favorite but it just got really hard to get and I only knew one guy that got the patches and I would buy them from him and eventually it led into heroin which honest-to-god was never my favorite but it was cheaper and then it just seemed like it was always available and easier to get. Finding pills was becoming hit-or-miss so heroine was just easier but I've been off of all of that for 6 years and honestly, if it wasn't for Methadone and going to the methadone clinic. I don't know what I would have done because doing that, I was able to not worry about having to be sick after the first week because they only start you on like 30 mg and if you're using a lot of opiates then 30 mg is not much so for like the first week, until it gets in your body and you're able to go up 5 mg each day, finally getting to a stable dose but the first week is the worst because you do still feel withdrawals and I remember being so angry because I thought that starting methadone, that was it and I would not have to use street drugs anymore but that was not the case, I did have to go out and keep getting something for the first week but after that, it just got to where it was better and better and it was okay and I didn't have to do anything anymore and I'm still going to the methadone clinic but it's way cheaper and easier than what I was doing. I could just never go back to that life. Maybe that's something you would consider? I'm sure you've thought about it before. We all think about choices that we have but it was the best decision I ever made to be honest and you can always do it for like six months and then come down slowly but if you're truly addicted then methadone is basically a pacifier. It keeps you satisfied just enough to where you don't run out and do drugs from the street. I think it's important that we all talked about this stuff because people don't understand unless they have been through it and so, us talking about it is the closest that they're ever going to get to understanding
@@carriethompson84 I’m so glad you’re getting the help now and have found something that works for you! I’ve though about going down that route a lot I just don’t feel ready atm. Plus I have the issue with pain, and that really scares me (probably the reason I’m not yet ready to come off it). Because I want to know my pain will be managed, as that’s a huge trigger for me. When I take opiates, it not only makes me feel good but it stops my pain.. win win! Well it’s not but it feels that way. Keep doing well though, you’ve got this 🙌🏻
@@carriethompson84 also, I’ll definitely check out your channel! Thank you for viewing mine. It means the world 💕
@@amieelizaa it is hard and it can be scary but you'll know when you're ready. I mean honestly, if you're waiting the full 3 days to put on your neck pass, then you're really not abusing is but if you're doing it before the three days then we already both know LOL. That's really the only way I would say that you needed to think about another route because we both know that fentanyl withdrawals are no joke. Fentanyl is 80 times stronger than the strongest Street heroin you can find which means the withdrawals are 80 times stronger but if you're waiting 3 days then I wouldn't necessarily say that's a problem. My pain got worse when I took the pain medication and the pills got really expensive at the time, heroin seemed very cheap but when your tolerance goes up, it seems like it's just as expensive as the pills were and you never knew what you were going to get either, when it comes to heroin. It was always, is it going to be any good? Am I going to be sick?, scut is going to be in it? It just wasn't worth it anymore but the methadone helps with my pain. That's the only thing I took after I had my son because I was on it through my whole pregnancy and I was up and walking around the day I got out of the hospital and people couldn't believe it! There's a lot of people that go to the methadone clinic just for the maintenance of their pain. Thank you for your kind words
I've been off pain meds since Dec 30, 2020 after an 11 year dependence due to an assault followed by a horrific car accident 2 years later. At the end, I was taking 28-35 perc 10s a day... I was fed up and I was done. I went to suboxone and it's crazy how much less I hurt. With a broken neck/smashed jaw/ etc the only time I feel pain is when I lay down at night... it feels like electricity is zapping my legs... but that's it. I do really well with suboxone for pain management. I don't envy your position one iota.
Well hi Amie. Just wanted to say I find your videos very interesting. My name is Sheryl and I am a correctional officer here in the States. This doesn't have much to this video but since it was your most recent, I figured I'd comment here. I would love to share this technique with you that I use at work and would love your thoughts on it as well. Basically I wanted to come up with a quick way to grab the inmates attention after it took us way too long to break up a fight once. So what I do is I yell 'TROUBLE' and when I do, my inmates know to drop what they are doing, line up and wait for further instructions. My inmates picked up on this quick and I really only had to explain it once. I even did what I like to call "trouble drills" with them to practice. This has helped me a ton with breaking up fights, count times, searches, if I need to cuff a bunch up etc. I chose the word 'trouble' cause its an easy identifiable word. Plus if I have to yell it, that means trouble is happening or coming or you are about to be in trouble. The inmates always seemed to appreciate this since they knew I did this for their safety. Other officers even started doing this too which was great to see. After a while, officers and inmates started calling me Officer Trouble and the name stuck. My question to you is, as an inmate, would you have had an issue with me doing this with you? And I'd love to get your general thoughts on this technique as well. Thanks for reading and I hope you don't mind the long comment :)
Thank you for your comment and I’m glad you enjoy the videos, that means so much 😊 That’s great that works for you! And it seems like you’re going about things the right way to gain respect from the prisoners. I actually wasn’t an inmate but I worked in a prison (although I’ve now left the prison service). I think anything you can do to be respectful but also gain respect from the prisoners you should definitely continue with 😁
I must admit, when I had commented the first time, I had not watched the whole video but I am watching more of it now and I did the same thing with methadone. Instead of taking my whole dose in the morning, it's liquid, I will take half of it in the morning and then I will take half of it at night because it helps me sleep so much but then I wake up after like 4 hours. I don't get itchy or anything like that but I don't go out much or do anything much because I feel like I have to plan things around, what time are they wanting me to do this specific thing or come over to their house, I start thinking in my head, well is it going to be when my methadone is starting to wear off? You would think that it would last through the whole day and sometimes I think a lot of it is mental but I feel like my whole life is running around this s*** and it's like I know it but I won't stop. I feel like my son is ultimately going to suffer because sometimes we're in a bubble and that's so hard to admit and I've wanted to do a video about this but the fact that I have a child, I just feel like admitting that just makes me look like the most horrible mother so I feel like I am an active addiction but it's just cheaper and much easier to attain and I've seriously thought about just coming off the methadone but I haven't. I've been going to the methadone clinic for 6 years and I don't have to go every single day, only go once a week right now and you have to pass so many drug screens just to be able to get one week worth of take home doses. So you feel like you're getting rewarded, you don't have to go everyday, it's easier and it almost makes you not want to quit even more but I know people that do have to go every day and they don't care either I guess but I hated when I had to go everyday and if you fail one drug screen then you have to start going every day again so that's just not something I'm trying to do. I haven't done street drugs but I'm just starting to think I'm almost just as addicted in my mindset as I was on drugs. Once I take it and feel it, I start doing things, cleaning and I get a lot done also because that's when you feel your best and I keep thinking, I would have hard days if I came off of this, days where I didn't feel like doing anything but I feel like I would have more better days than off days. It's just a lot and I think about it all the time and it's getting to a point where I feel like I need to make a decision. Sorry this is so long but I have no one to talk to, my parents have tried telling me this or at least my dad and it's like I know it deep down but I don't want to admit to him that it's the methadone but he already knows anyway so it's not like I would be saying anything he doesn't already know but, like you, I'm afraid to come off of the methadone because every two weeks, they suggest that you come down 5 mg which is the best and safest way to do it but I've had to do it in the past and I wasn't sleeping as well and I can do it at my own pace, I can come down 5 mg a month if I wanted to so it's just something that I need to think about really deciding to do because all I think about is going up, getting more and that's not doing anything. Eventually that won't be enough. I cannot imagine the fentanyl withdrawals. I've heard that the methadone withdrawals are just as bad because you have to think, it last 24 hours. It's just insane but I don't want to write a whole shitload on here LOL, I also subscribed! Maybe we can both support each other but I don't want to make you feel pressured. You did good on this video, you really came out and said a lot of things that I just couldn't think to do. I might do a video as well but I just have to be open and honest about it which is so hard so I commend you!
I get it, it’s so tough! You really do have to plan your whole life around it and it’s not great 🙄 last night I slept about 30 minutes because all I could think about is the fact I was getting to change my patch in the morning and now I have, I feel on top of the world and like I could anything. I think you’re right, a lot of it is mental. No one can push you to come off anything until you’re 100% ready, as I’m sure you’re fully aware else you just won’t do it and will end up on something worse no doubt. At least what you’re on at the moment is being managed, you know exactly what you’re getting and you’re also going in the right direction, especially only having to go weekly, that’s great! Everything has to be done when it’s right for you, fuck what anyone else says or thinks, they haven’t had to go through it and if they did, they wouldn’t be saying it. Yes definitely up for the mutual support! I think that’s the beauty of being on here, you can talk about what you want and if you don’t feel confident enough yet then I’m sure you’ve got a million other things to talk about until you do feel like you can make a similar video. For me it’s easier talking to strangers than my family and friends about all this 😂 but thank you, and thank you so much for subscribing 🥰
Hi, Amie have you tried another pain medication ? If you are so sensitive to changes in the dose, Metadone could be a good alternative.
I´m a Chronic pain patient myself, I have been on the patches for many years, I changed every 2 days, and I have also tried nearly all the pain medication out there, I couldn´t use
the patches anymore because of other diseases I have, so I´m on Oxycontins. I recognize a lot of your struggles, I´m impressed you are able to be in a relationship, that´s really hard.
Best of luck to you :)
Hi, I’ve tried lots of different pain meds. Every single one that’s available here in the UK, they’ve said there’s nothing else to put me on so that’s why I’m staying on the fentanyl. But yes maybe methadone might work. The doctors have never mentioned it as an option so I didn’t realise it would help work pain so could work!
Thank you so much ☺️
And to you!
Why are you on the patches? If you don’t mind me asking… just curious what the doc gives it to you for…
No of course I don’t mind! My first video does explain in more detail but I was in a car crash and was prescribed painkillers but as your body gets used to them you need a higher dose and then something stronger. So I started on codeine and ended up on fentanyl 🙄 they never tried to sort the issue just gave me more and more meds!
@@amieelizaa wow i’m sorry to hear that. i just subscribed to you and i’ll be sure to watch your other videos. i respect you giving people the real shit like this. i’ve been thinking about making videos like this for a while now. although we’re strangers i’m proud of you. i’m sorry to hear about your accident. one day this will all be behind you. you have a good heart and deserve it 🙏
Your Cute
She talks too much
Not sure if you’ve seen many UA-cam channels but that’s literally what they’re for 😂