Why Unconditional Love Is The Key To A Fulfilling And Joyful Life
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- What is unconditional love?
Does it mean we give even when it hurts, or that we give with no need for return?
I believe knowing the answers to these questions is vital, because understanding exactly what unconditional love is and how to apply it to yourself and others, has the power to not just heal yourself but heal the entire world.
In this Thriver TV episode, we investigate what we may have thought unconditional love was and how our previous models of love are false premises that actually aren’t unconditional love at all and don’t work.
Join Us On The Blog And Read 100's Of Free Articles:
blog.melanieto...
FREE 16 Day Recovery Course:
melanietoniaev...
Learn How To Become A NARP Member:
melanietoniaev...
Truth! Thanks Melanie.
11:51:
"The following may shock you. Unconditional love actually has very little to do with other people and it's totally about yourself..."
16:24: "That is what personal radical responsibility is about. I love you unconditionally wherever you are at, and I love unconditionally where I am at. If these places don't meet I let you go and I bless you on your journey and I free you and myself, and I will continue generating my truth as per my life vision and quest. I know I am responsible for me, you aren't, just as I am not responsible for you. Isn't this so much healthier than what we used to do and I put my hand up, standing there lecturing and prescribing and trying to force someone to be the version of themselves that we wanted them to be in order for us to love them and be happy, and then when they didn't do that we switch to demonizing them and spending months or years, it could be the next 20 years in deep trauma hating what they did to us. This is exactly what standard abuse victims do, and it's not what thrivers do."
You're so right on. Even though there are many Christians that mess this up (which is very easy to do as you pointed out), this is exactly what Jesus teaches! Unconditional love & grace. I love listening to you. Our terminology may be different, but our beliefs are basically the same. Blessings for you today, Melanie :)
KL it is the same "love" absolutely!! Many blessings to you and thank you so much for yours! xoxox
Thank you..This was beautiful.
Awww you are so welcome sweet lady xoxox
B. Robinson you
Loved "with conditions" starting very early in life, 'was' my norm - I now know that there is SO much more that is POSSIBLE and deserved!
Gorgeous, and so expansive and true xoxox
Melanie, when it comes to NPD, your teachings are just through the stratosphere - so true, so enlightened, and at the highest level of human consciousness possible ... in my humble opinion. Nobody gets it like you. I'm going to have to listen to this video a few more times, but please tell me if you can, if I'm on the right track about a narcissist that I am friends with (I know, more like a manipulationship.) This narcissist every couple of months will suddenly stop answering my emails (We live on opposite sides of the country, and our friendship is remote.). So, after he hasn't answered three emails, I stop emailing him (because I find that very disrespectful to me), and then wait for him to initiate an email. I have told him that I find this behavior disrespectful to me. He did this again last week to me, and I have stopped initiating any emails to him. So far, I haven't heard from him. When he does reach out to me - and I know he will - he'll probably go right back to emailing me every day, like nothing happened. BUT, this time .... I feel a solution in my gut, and I wanted to see if you think I'm on the right track. I'm planning on NEVER initiating another email to him; that I will always leave it up to him, and then respond to him. Why? Because I refuse to ever again be put in the demeaned position of having him totally ignore my communications like I don't exist. At the same time, in line with this video, I don't want to cut this person 100% out of my life because he has done some unbelievably wonderful things for me; like no other person ever has. I feel I care for him unconditionally, but need to keep my self-respect at the same time. Thank you.
Tricia thank you for your lovely comments. The thing I have learnt in my journey is that everyone in my experience when triggering me has showed up for me a wound I can heal - and the most powerful and growth opportunistic thing I can do with that is to find inside me that wound, release it and heal it (I do that with Quanta Freedom Healing) and then I have just freed myself from something that was limiting me in my life. So this feeling of being "ignored" "unimportant" "not relevant" to someone in as far as a friendship goes may be an old trauma for you from childhood where key people in your life did not acknowledge you enough to know your worth in these areas. This is why it triggers. Once you have healed it - then there is this shift - he starts showing up more for you organically (so within so without) or you know exactly (without the triggers) what is or isn't healthy in this relationship and can address that in a way that creates true solution or move away from it. There will be no more "tactics" to navigate it, just complete peace or honesty or detachment (all of which is solution) Does that make sense? xoxo
Thank you so much Melanie. You are right about the old trauma from childhood. My Dad was a narcissist, and when I started having a mind of my own at the age of about 10-11, I started voicing opinions different than my Dad. At first, he tried to beat my differing opinions out of me with a strap, and then when that didn't work, he emotionally abandoned me and we didn't reconnect again until I was 32, and then we healed our relationship. I think I've come a long way in healing from that in recent years, but am not completely there yet. So I have a lot more peace than I used to, but not complete peace. The way you describe the solution totally makes sense, but I'm not sure how to get there. I've come so far, but still have more to learn. Thank you.
Hi Melanie...I have so much gratitude for finding your teachings, sharing your personal stories and reaching out to others. 8 years ago this month I left a 25 year marriage and found myself totally lost and bereft. I really struggled to find any semblance of inner peace, but could hardly stand my own company. I did find some healing after years of therapy, but when I accidentally came upon your videos, it was an extraordinary upgrade then and there, and it continues. One thing I needed to face was my using mind altering substances to numb myself from inner childhood wounding, which was triggered when my marriage (to a narcissist) ended. Many blessings to you Mel, Karen in Albuquerque...P.S Several of your videos having to do with friends and family, who don't understand the NARC dysfunctionality, and my feeling further betrayal and abandonment, were extremely healing!
This is Huge❤ .Expect nothing. I am truly touched. Give with no expectaction. Being Authentic and have boundaries.
Thank You so much. This is healing ❤🌹🌹🌹🥰❤️
🙏🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕💕
Melanie, this comment really doesnt have anything to do with this UA-cam. I just want to truly thank you. words can't begin to describe how you literally saved my life. i had no idea what I was going through. somehow I stumbled across your work and continue to share people going thru similar experience. there are at least 5 additional people I shared your work with and you have helped them beyond belief. thank you! Sending you love from the states
Awww Nikki that you for your beautiful comment and I am so pleased I can help! Thank you so much for sharing to others to help them as well :) Much love to you! xoxox
Halleluja! Well said. Thank you, and take care...unconditionally!
Can you make a video on how this theory can help us beat jealousy ? If we love someone unconditionally we should not be jealous of them, right? But how do you stop that feeling of jealousy? ?
Doreen I answered you on the blog - and yes this could be a great video topic xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thanks for answering. I'll go to the blog. Keep up the good work!
This is so accurate. Thank you for this video.
Mind blowing !I truly hope I'll be able to put it in practice cos it makes so much sense.
One of your most powerful messages. This is my way of life now 😁
Great stuff Loving Life! xoxox Mwah xoxox
Huge shift! Great stuff Melanie! You are helping me is sick profound ways.
I am so pleased I can help Barbara xoxox
Melanie, you joked about "murdering them instead," but I am sure I won't be the only one here who can admit that the ACTUAL thoughts of murdering whoever violated our boundaries came to our minds. I used to think how I wish my close relatives to die simply because I myself wished for them to change and was not able to do it for themselves (in your words, I did not learn the unconditional love). This video helped A LOT, although I've been working with a therapist on this and I am doing better and better now, I never thought of an unconditional love as a broader concept of accepting anyone. Many thanks, Polina.
It's my pleasure Polina, and yes many of us can relate to having had these feelings! xoxox
This is great and so needed by me at this time. I am so happy that I found you! Bless you! Thank you! Hugs!
Many blessings to you too Connie. Please know you are so welcome :) Much love xoxox
Hello! I'm new to your channel and watch some videos already and you speak very clear and what everyone can understand. Such a great teacher also so compassionate too. I been unconditional all my lifetime but some people like family member had to lay low on. I love helping, I'm a caring compassionate person and love to inspire everyone as well. I went threw very hard times but would not trade it for the world. God I call it as our backs. Got to have faith and it helps. We do need to all come together and I sure agree because we all need one another too. Thanks very much for your hard work. I pray all is well and sending my love out all the way from Canada! God bless! :)
Aww Shawna thank you for your kind comments sweetheart. I'm thrilled you like it. Love back to you from Australia - keep thriving xoxox
Thanks a bunch for that and very much appreciated! You are so welcome and Australia, Nice! Looking forward for more videos.Was wondering can you make one on family members who control and not good for your wellbeing and friends. Just want your thoughts please and thanks a lot! Hope your having a great day and enjoy the weekend coming too. Peace and love always! Hug's! God bless! :) :)
Hi Shawna,
I am happy to help. Here are some resources on this topic: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-if-the-narcissist-is-a-family-member/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/there-is-no-closure-with-narcissists/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/5-steps-to-ignoring-a-narcissist-who-tries-to-punish-you/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-stop-a-narcissist-from-hurting-you/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/should-you-tell-a-narcissist-who-they-really-are/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/stop-being-the-scapegoat/ ua-cam.com/video/TNYJJkft03k/v-deo.html - Should You
Go No Contact With A Family Member? blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/ blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact-part-2/ Love and blessings xoxox
Thanks a lot and stupid question here but are they free? lol Sorry to ask that. :) Hug's!
No worries, they are free Shawna. :) Love and blessings xoxox
That was such an eerie session, with the cicadas in the background and the gloomy surroundings (it might have to do with my nighttime filter on my phone also ;) ).
Anyway, I loved it! I'm still having lots of trouble with this concept and also I'm struggling with Source/ God itself heavily but so be it. I find your videos and the videos of Father Mike Schmitz equally helpful although I'm not a Catholic but I take a lot of insight from him also. There are a couple of things that I don't agree with in Father Mike's videos and sometimes there are things in your videos that I don't agree with but in general, you all do such wonderful work that I'm very thankful for.
I just ordered your book tonight although I'm already a NARP member. I thought it might be the best way to get all the information combined and condensed so I can look things up and highlight them easily. I'm looking forward to showing this to my psychologist who seemed interested. I will probably translate as much as I can to the people around me who are interested. I love languages so this is a win-win. ;D
I recently had the worst of trust breaks I could've fathomed in this situation and I still cry for how my little inner child was taken advantage of and mistreated. But eventually just this brought me to it so I really do my absolute best to love it in the way it absolutely deserves. Your programme is a part of that, thank you. I still have problems really working with it due to another deep trauma that I couldn't help yet.
But especially this video was a good impulse giver for that.
Thank you very much for your work, I'm happy you're there. :)
You are very welcome Gill426 and you don't have to believe the same things I do for the program and resources to work. You don't have to take on anything that doesn't resonate with you. You are looking for answers and validation of your experience and you are finding that. And I'm so glad that I can help. The book is also an update and includes so many of the things that I've learned through my recent research and experience so I'm sure that you will find it very helpful and will benefit your healing with NARP very much. There are new, wonderful, free support resources that complement the book and I encourage you to sign up and use them too. All of that information is in the book.
Getting that trauma up and out of your body is really a priority and you don't have to relive the traumatic experience to do it. NARP gives you a way to circumvent that while you connect to and process your emotions in a different way that produces the relief and the recovery from this experience without having to be retraumatised to do it.
Meeting these intense emotions is uncomfortable and for a short time, painful, but the result of doing this is tremendous relief, insight and healing.
Building that connection to our inner child, loving, partnering and healing those wounds is such an incredible relief and I'm so glad that you are enjoying the benefit of that connection. Yes, there is grief but there is also a profoundly deep and abiding bond created within and you integrate your little me, healed and whole back into you and shift the unconscious programming, the beliefs and expectations we accommodated because of our trauma to be the best self we can be, showing up authentically, independently and healthily as the knowing and experienced adults we are.
Unconditional love is the root of all of this activity... to learn to love, accept and care for ourselves compassionately, responsibly and wisely, treating ourselves well creates our feeling of well-being security and happiness and it a wonderful thing to be able to help others to do the same. It's heartwarming and an amazing validation to me that you are sharing this information and experience with others. Thank you so much. Love and blessings xoxox
My all time favorite MTE video... Just sublime.
Melanie your videos always put a BIG SMILE on my face. LOL Thank you!
Thank you Inner Fire, it's my pleasure and much love to you! xoxox
Hey Melanie!
Leviticus chapter 19 verse 18, You should love your Fellow as yourself!
You love yourself first with all your boundaries and than love your neighbors with their boundaries!
Be well and all the best!
Great video. Thank you, Melanie!
You are so welcome Raven xoxox
Supurb content Mel! Seriously await every new video from you! I love your channel so much! 💗
Thank you Red Lily and I am so pleased my material resonates with you! xoxo
Thank you so much Xx
My pleasure Bobbi xoxox
This is truth. Thank you
My pleasure Judy - I am so glad this resonated with you xoxox
Thank you.
My pleasure love. xoxox
What helps me is understanding that time, i,e. the clock was an invention. That ;s the false reality.
You are wonderful but, I read Wayne Dyer too. I have faith in the universe.
This is so deep, captivating and true. I wonder what you would think about Imperialism, Colonialism, racism, sexism,...?
I really put it all into these categories Guillaume - unconsciousness versus consciousness - Seperation verses Oneness, fear verse love. xoxoxo
amazing
You are soooooooooooooooooooo awesome
Yes my cousin the light worker God who knows everything so she thinks
debn n ???
Hugs
Mel... Girl.
But is this the messsage?
Just saying...
Hey Melanie! Do you do skype sessions? I'm still struggling with a break up and would like some perspective
Savvy to find out about my personal healing sessions, you can email support@melanietoniaevans.com for details xoxox
We never hear sermons on how men should love their wives as they love THEMSELVES.
Many Christians do not read their whole bible. It tells us to "let the dead bury their own dead" aren't narcs, the epitome of the walking dead, who drain us of our energy. It also says, ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and you shall find. It also talks about how Isreal as a nation chased after her many "lovers" rather than turning to God, who is the source of power, love and source. Is this not what we as codependents do on a personal level?
I think this is such a co-out, grown adults in our society SHOULD ACT LIKE ADULTS, there should b pressure put on lazy childish people to step up n be better, they should not b allowed to live w their parents into their 40s n b babied forever, I'm not ok w that journey!
So in other words, I love you, so get the hell away from me? I'm not being a smart ass