@@glenjamindle The decision to utilise drugs may be an addicts idea to begin with, but once the disease takes hold, that choice is taken away. Those suffering from addiction remain responsible for their actions, as do us all. Addiction is never an excuse, but often an explanation.
@@glenjamindle Many choices made in active addiction can feel pressured. Often, this leads to poor judgement and decision making... Again, I agree that it is the responsibility of an addict to keep their emotions and their actions in check, as is the case for us all... Again, addiction is not an excuse for poor behaviour, but substance abuse can sometimes be a reason for it.
Strip searches freak me out. You won’t catch me doing anything to land in prison. I’ve got 19 years sober! My sober day is October 29th! Thank you for all you do Jess!
I was a deputy for 15 years and learned that most of the people I dealt with on the streets and in the jails were motivated by some type of substance addiction. I started to realize most of them were good people fighting one helluva demon called addiction. Glad to see you are healthy, sober and doing well in your recovery!
I'm just curious if you noticed a pattern with the vast majority of people with addiction issues? In my experience as a hairdresser where people tend to spill their guts about their own personal experiences or their family/friends is that most who take it past an experimental/rebellious/partying phase to full blown addiction are numbing past traumas. I'm in Australia and from what I see going to therapy in the U.S. seems very common whereas here in Australia... Not so much. It's become a lot less stigmatized yet it's not spoken about as openly. I realise you made your comment months ago but I'm interested in your perspective during your time as a deputy. Thanks. Take care from Australia.
@@elenawilliams32 I definitely think it has to do with past traumas. It's so sad to me. My heart goes out to them. I've just observed people I've known over the years, mostly and heard their stories some. I was briefly a Detention Deputy last year too. I wish people could get more help when needed, in so many ways, mental health help, with addition, trauma, ect. But I do feel addiction a lot of times is to mask past trauma someone's had. 😔
@@elenawilliams32 I believe it starts with experimentation. If someone is suffering and they find a substance to mask that pain, they can absolutely fall prey to addiction.
@@jeff0247598 Agreed. It appears that in the US that therapy has been normalised and not just for addiction. Here in Australia if someone goes to therapy it's usually on the quiet because of the negative stigma. It's so much worse for our men as they're told to 'have a spoonful of concrete and harden the f**K up' or similar. It's slowly changing... Very slowly. Cheers for the reply. Take care from Australia 🐨.
I thought it was normal till I was in work one day and told everyone snd they laughed at me. I felt so stupid. I didn’t know what it was then. It’s the most bizarre feeling in the world I can have days where I’ve disassociated if I’m really anxious etc. I feel you all. You are all warriors!
@@teahursh7815 I'm so sorry. I can relate, although things have improved for me over the years. It's not been an easy journey, and there's still a lot that needs work. I hope that things get easier for you ❤
@@axlfox4048 I would guess they have a room for the video calls and maybe they don't want contraband going in and out of that room/area. Either that or just to mess with the inmates
decided to throw the alcohol away this morning after a small act of kindness that stuck with me. thank you for everything you do and being my biggest inspiration in life. you give me the hope that the future can be better and will be. so much love to you and your beautiful family
Hi, just reading your comment a year later. I hope life is being good to you and you're doing okay. If you slip up please don't beat yourself up over it. It can take a few tries (or many more) to overcome any addiction. The vast majority of people I've known with substance abuse issues have taken them to numb traumas in their past. I hope you have some good supports around you. Take care from Australia.
One of the many reasons I have the utmost respect for you, Jess is because you don't judge the way people recover, you just want them to recover. You're a genuine person, and I can't wait until Hollywood is ready to share some of her story.
I think that's the difference between people who have actually been through it themselves, and those who haven't. It's impossible to really understand, without judgement, the realities of relapse and the fact that you've just got to do whatever it is that works for you as an individual etc. Jess is awesome :)
She's making her income through it. It's obvious self growth and she has an education in that field don't remember what... Though at this point it's her career to talk about these things (life experiences)
As an officer I did my first strip search, I felt so bad, I started from the bottom and worked up, vs from the top to the bottom. After I realized what I did, I actually went and apologized to the female inmates. They were cool about it and we laughed, but damn it’s just as traumatic for officers too. At least it was for me!!
Thank god.. I really need this, my best friend passed away recently from cervical cancer and I needed something to take my mind off everything going on... you are so amazing jess... I've been feeling so down lately, I've been wanting to relapse with self harm, cutting specifically, and your vibe and personality really helps me through everything
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly want your going through. And I know it's hard but you have to keep your head up, your friend wouldn't want you to harm yourself. And neither do we. If you ever need to talk to someone I'm here on Instagram I'm Kate Kennedy and my pic is a cat.
@@katekennedy2550 you just brought me to tears, thank you so so much! I will give you a follow... I know she wouldn't want me to, she is like my second mother and she was always there for me when I was in dark places and she knew how to pull me out of it. She was a force to be reckoned with.
I know there’s a one percent chance of anyone seeing this but I hope you have an amazing day!! -Drink some water -Take a shower/bath -Eat a meal -Relax -Take a nap -Go for a walk -Take a break from social media Do whatever makes you happy! This is a stressful time and just know that you are loved and that we can get through this together!!
The Two Rules for Happiness (in addition to a regular yoga practice): (1) Always have the proper container for everything; (2) Never take yourself too serious.
Girl I'm sooo happy you posted. I work at Walmart from 1-10 and its rough. Ugh you made my morning!!! Btw my sobriety beat is coming up! In a few months it will be 8 years!
Kate Nolan Congratulations! That’s an amazing accomplishment! I hope you’re tremendously proud of yourself! Best wishes for your sobriety to last a lifetime! 💕 God bless! 🌻
I love how much you validate different paths to recovery. Not one thing will work for everyone and no one should be shamed for how they choose to thrive in their own life.
4:10 "out of body experience", that pretty much means its traumatic for inmates, our souls leave our bodies for some time if they cannot handle whats going on, a survival method.
@@nikki1932 thats psychological explanation yes, all things have spiritual reasons to them, depends from which perspective you look at it, both are correct. its the same thing, really. dissociation meaning is disconnecting from something, in this case, from our soul.
not traumatic... its just that your soul wants to roam while your body is caged. This is how you feel when you are locked up. Helpless. You wished you were sitting in a park, just walking, doing the worst things....except not being locked up. Being caged is something you cannot imagine. You have to be there to feel it.
@@nom5205 um ive been lol, and due to reasons this was also traumatic for me, i was dissociating lot of the time. could be traumatic experience for lot of ppl easily.
Hey Jessica, I don't normally post comments but I have been blessed to come across your content at a really tough time in my own struggle with addiction and the sincerity and compassion with which you encourage us to get clean and be healthy and to find the right method of recovery for us is so motivational and inspiring and brings me to tears because I know I'm not alone and that if you have the strength to overcome the incredible hardship you've suffered in your life then I know I can put the effort and work and time in to recover myself. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and being as empathetic and compassionate as you are. I wish you all the best along with everyone else who is struggling with addiction.
When I went to jail (I got assaulted by two people, and they didn’t go to jail ) I refuse a strip search and started bawling. I cant even get Pap smears because of how traumatized I am. The jail never searched me. If I went to prison, they would have to forcefully remove my clothes or knock me out. Then, as a rape victim, all that ptsd would probably come back and result in my suicide.
IMO they should be a little bit more considerate of women who are required to strip search. I understand that the search is mandatory, but perhaps the officers should take into consideration that many women have been sexually abused, and that the strip search can be traumatic. Even covering one part of the body at a time with a blanket would make the situation a bit less humiliating. :(
I’m the same I could never get a pap smear either because of this - people who just say ‘you’re being stupid doctors do it all the time’ literally have no idea what it feels like to be that traumatised unless you’ve been through it. Yeah it’s risky to physical health to skip them, but it’s riskier to my mental health to do it. I’d probably end up re-traumatised and suicidal again.
😂 I love hearing about Hollywood. She seems like a funny and strong person, and we will be here for her as well if/when she is ever ready! 💜💜 My dad served time when I was young and his stories are just as golden as some of these. 😂🤣
When you said pinata! Girl I freaking died. Spit out my coffee and cracked. Thank you I needed that laugh... 6 years clean today for this girl! You inspire me girl
I’m a new subscriber and you have really shown me the need for prison reform. I mean I kind of already knew that, but you’ve shown me how inhumanely PEOPLE in prison are treated. No excuse for that.
Weed is actually my addiction. I wish I had never started it. I'll never sit here and say that being hooked on weed is as bad as 'harder drugs', but it has honestly made me so lazy and isolated and stopping is really hard 😔 love ya jess x
It really is HARD. My ex swore weed wasn't addicting until he tried quitting. He was sweating abnormally and was super moody. Youre not alone. You can do this girl!
I feel you!!! I do use it more medicinally now. For sleep and nausea. I have constant stomach issues. I wanna be done smoking weed but I also don't wanna feel sick all the time. It's a hard balance.
Thank you SO much for elaborating on what you mean by 'stay sober whatever that means to you' I'm also an addict in recovery but 'recovery' for me can be very different to the next person... as long as folk are happy and healthy!❤❤
I don’t have the background u have, but I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and OCD. I used to binge drink MASSIVELY at the wknds only until about 12 yes ago. I really admire u for ur journey. I’m constantly being told I should write my story as a kinda therapy, but also as a help for others in similar situations to mine. I admire ur strength so much, I’m still really struggling to find the strength to get thru each day, I’m on my knees at this stage tbh
I’m glad you expanded on your statement “whatever that looks like to you“. You very quickly went through the examples and it might be helpful to do a video explaining things like Microdosing and other techniques to get sober. I appreciate your faith in us.
i recently found your youtube and its really nice to see people who move past a past like that. i was in and out of jail and nearly sent to prison multiple times, i got lucky. ive changed my life 180 from being a addict who didnt care about anything or anyone to being a caring and motivated person. Its heart warming seeing people that have overcome this stuff
I have really bad anxiety depression and hypochondria. What sobriety looks like to me is not obsessively looking up my symptoms, a day when I can calm myself down from an anxiety attack, and taking a shower/eating when I’m depressed. You’re amazing Jess, thanks for encouraging me to remain sober.
I greatly appreciate how you end your videos. I have struggled my entire life with depression, anxiety, ptsd and substance abuse. Its hard feeling like you’re subhuman. Today you made me feel human for the first time in a long time. You’re an amazing woman. Thank you.
So very proud of you for taking control of your addiction!! And for you to make these videos to share, and hopefully get others to think and realize that the road they may be on is nothing but a dead-end street (both figuratively AND literally) is absolutely AWESOME!! Keep doin' what you're doin'!!!
I stumbled upon your channel through YT Shorts, and I am so happy that I did. It is very important to understand how hard life is for inmates, especially female inmates. The anecdotes you share really help me respect inmates even more than I already did, and more importantly understand their psyche better. Kudos to you for your success. Much more power to you.
I've never broken the law so I have never been convicted, however I just love your energy and video style that I've been here for a few years now ❤ the vlog channel gives me life girl, you are SUCH a good mama
I've been following your channel for quite some time now but you never fail to reach my heart and amaze me. You are so kind, loving, understanding, open, willing to learn. You remind me of me but with better wording😹 and waaaaay more experience. and yes, over time I learned to accept, that I am a nice and kind person and I hope the world learns a lot from you Jess ❤
As a former clinician on an inpatient dual diagnosis unit at a private IPU/DDU/Detox treatment facility for many years, I commend you for what you’re doing here. Not just struggling through the traumatic experience of becoming sober, which typically doesn’t happen for people the first time they reach out for help. Nothing can prepare a person for the physical/mental/emotional/spiritual torment coupled with detox. It’s incredibly difficult to know there’s something that can make it all go away - just outside those locked doors - but you can’t get it. There are those who can put mind over matter & tough it out the first time, but more often than not patients leave because they just weren’t ready for everything that accompanies detoxing. But if they show up voluntarily for no other reason than wanting to change their lives, they almost always come back, and when they do, they’re more prepared. Even if it takes 5, 6, 10, 100 times, they’re more prepared each time & one of those times it works. I used to tell my patients that leaving and coming back isn’t failure, regardless of how many times they do it, as long as they come back. Leaving rehab isn’t failing; leaving & never trying again is. It’s just part of the process. Loved ones who have never experienced a relationship with addiction think it’s as simple as deciding to just stop, which is destructive on so many levels. It’s important for people to have a support system which includes addicts in recovery - whether it’s rehab, living in a sober living house, AA/NA, or just seeking out others who do understand that relationship - those are the people whose support will be the most beneficial in getting sober & staying sober. By making this kind of content you become part of someone’s struggle and their support system. You’ll likely never know exactly how many lives you’ve helped change, how many people find the inspiration & courage to motivate sobriety through you, nor how many people connect to you & your path who draw strength that you’ll never know you lent them. But I guarantee it’s a lot. THIS is what addicts need to be told; what they need to hear. I don’t know too many people who would be willing to lay their mistakes on the table for the world to see, but I do know that if more people did, it would do a lot more good for a lot more people. You should be extremely proud of yourself……what you’ve accomplished is never easy. Sharing your story is going to help countless others feel proud of themselves too, because you’ve shown them that it’s possible to conquer addiction and rebuild their lives, that they too can find happiness again. That makes all the difference in the world. Thank you for everything you do.
Yup I remember being strip searched coming into prison, going to and from work, visitation, leaving the prison to go to court, coming back from court, and leaving prison. They also cut my hair coming into prison. I'm a female they gave me a buzz cut to go into prison in Georgia, USA. Truly horrifying
I got stripped searched once. I was 14 years old going to juvie. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I had a padded bra on back before they were popular and I was so insecure 😩 I definitely felt violated. Don't recommend!
@@foxja1 Not sexual assault. Can't do the time, don't do the crime. Maybe you should watch her video on the 10 best hiding spots in prison. People hide all sorts of items in body cavities including guns and other weapons, and items to assist in escapes in addition to other contraband in their body cavities. I guess you think jail and prison should be more like a day camp, or a spa treatment. GET REAL.
It doesn’t make sense why prison is set up that way. The yelling, food, pads and soaps. I realize people did something wrong but it isn’t logical to treat people that way. It clearly makes people have mental health issues. What is the point?
I understand that and I think so too, but at the same time... I wish that those conditions made more people stay out of prison and not break the law ... and I’m also afraid that if it wasn’t so bad, there would be even more people in prison because for some people it would be better option than what they currently have. But that’s just my mind going in all the directions possible, It’s still awful because some people committed something really bad, but at the same time some people didn’t do THAT bad things to deserve this.
@@veronikapop8161 Like Jessica said she was addicted to drugs so everything a person does is in order to obtain more drugs.Based on the lives of a few addicts that I know it is extremely hard to stop using. I have great respect for people who are able to stop even for a short time. In other situations people act impulsively, have mental health problems, or even think they will get away with it. The consequences don’t seem to be in the forefront. I also believe that prison may be better than some peoples regular lives. I believe the purposes of prison should be rehabilitation like education, medications, support, developing self-esteem and know people support you. This would reduce it from happening again. It would also be a way to find out if a person actually committed the crime. Many people in prison are victims to start with. Then changing laws so when people leave they can get a decent job if they want to. Obviously then child rapist and other could stay in prison and not be let out and then reoffend. Obviously, there shouldn’t be fancy expensive food. A balanced meal should be provided for humane and health reasons. If people are treated horrible they will respond to that treatment in a negative way. It is psych101.
Dissociation and laughing are definitely two decent coping skills. Sad, but nice to see someone that actually gets it. I really hope I can get better and join the fight for reform, so many systems are screwed. The justice and mental health systems absolutely need changes.
Awwww....what a sweetheart....so glad you have recovered... I know you have to remain vigilant to not relapse...proud of anyone who can make it out of the darkness!!! God bless you
As a lesbian, I don’t feel offended by not wanting a lesbian look up your “Area” my input on it is it’s the same as a man looking up your “area” you wouldn’t be comfortable because the man likes girls, same with a lesbian No not all lesbians have crushes on all girls and I bet you know that but you were on drugs at the time
I feel like it is different because a lesbian is a woman herself. She has been harassed and objectified by men before, she knows how it feels. Also, another woman can't impregnate you, the threat is lower. Probably would prefer a straight woman to a lesbian but I feel like it's very very far from being "the same as a man", men are way scarier
I absolutely love your stories, as I myself have been in jail, I can relate to you so much!! I've been clean and sober for almost 9 years now. Your videos truly make a difference for me, I don't recall how I found your videos but I'm so happy I did!! And you said your friend Angela just passed away, 1st, im so sorry for your loss and 2nd, I lost one of my best friends last year from an overdose on fentanyl. Her death was hard to go through especially because the week prior I had spent a few days at her house ( yes she lived wth her parents still) and we had a blast bcuz we just celebrated her daughter turning 1. I miss her more than anything ❤❤ I found your page soon after are passed and yes we did end up in the same pod together in jail and we just constantly laughed and laughed!! God I miss her 💔😢 Thank you for being so open and honest about that life l, it's helped me in so many ways like I said. It may make no sense as to why, but trust me, it really has!! You can clearly tell your such a kind hearted and very caring person. Never stop these videos or who you are bcuz I continue to see how many women you are helping with making these videos ❤❤
I'll never be first 😂 I have to watch before I comment because that's how my brian works lol. But I live for these videos. They get me through my days, which are not easy right now.❤ thank u Jessica
12 days sober And I appreciate you saying “whatever that means to you” in regards to recovery so much. More than you know. I would have never gotten a half of a day if it wasn’t for seeing that there was another way.
It sounds like the absolute worst thing to go through even once, but for them to keep putting you through it is definitely trauma. I would be an absolute state after something like that even 1 time so I can understand the ways you coped. The story about your friend though was sooo funny the piñata I had this mental imagine!! 😂🤟🏼
Question: did you ever hear of an inmate trying to bribe a CO to skip the strip search? It strikes me that it's the kind of thing people would try their damndest to get out of, even if they weren't holding something. Many thanks for the clip.
They're too busy clenching muscles they may not have even realized they had if they're hiding contraband to give serious thought to trying to get out of the search. Besides, attempting to bribe your way out of the search or otherwise avoid it makes a person look guilty as shit of hiding something. Not only will you still be searched, the COs will pay much closer attention in an effort to catch you and the guard who might have half assed the search will now have their undivided attention ALL up in your business.
Jess your words at the end of this video touched my heart, I wish there were more genuine, for real people such as yourself, those words brought a tear to my eye, and your a prime example of 'if we all took a leaf', out of what you genuinely just said 🙂
I have a chip on my shoulder as well as u I sometimes walk up mad for no reason but your video’s help me not to use because I used pills and weed and coke
Kaitlin Nicole Stay Strong! You’ve got this! You can do anything you put your mind to! Prayers for your recovery. May God bless you and help you in this new chapter of your life. 💕
You know I've been listening to your stuff for awhile I really like what you have to say I am an addict myself I've been struggling with it for well over a decade and still am today but the last part you said is good advice now I've never been to prison but I've been arrested several times and I've been to County I appreciate what you do encouraging people and telling your story keep up the good work
I remember the first time I ever was taken into jail (Juvi ) at age 15. It was a dark time in my life. I remember them making me strip down naked, squat / cough - and then spraying me with lice killing spray and having me hop in this cold ass shower. Bleh. When I went to as an adult, no lice spray or shower, but same deal. Much longer stay as an adult too. Last time I ever got locked up again. F that. Been sober almost 7 years!!
You know, I’m really thinking (probably over thinking-it’s what I do best) about the whole lesbian woman strip searching other women thing. Because in theory, women being searched by lesbians should be the same kind of feeling as a woman being searched by a straight man. But I feel like it’s certainly not. Taking it out of that uncomfortable, violating, dehumanizing context, I’m pretty confident I would change in front of a lesbian friend. I’m also pretty confident that I wouldn’t change in front of a straight, male friend (or probably a gay, male friend for that matter). It’s almost like I am so much more trusting of women, and rightfully so. No woman wants to be assaulted, and every woman knows what it feels like to fear that. The separation of genders in compromising situations has never been about sex or attraction; it’s about power and abuse of power. Sorry if none of that makes sense. This is what it’s like to be inside my head lol
It makes a lot of sense, and also adds another puzzle piece to me thinking about how places like bathrooms, changing rooms, etc are separated by gender even though you could still be attracted to the same gender.
About changing in front of a lesbian friend… so when I was a teenager I shared a room with my younger sister and she always had her best friend over (who was female). I would get changed in front of them thinking nothing of this as we all are girls. My sisters friend always acted weird and would look away. I thought she was just conservative. Years later she came out of the Closet and told my sister “I knew I was a lesbian when I saw your sister changing.” Now it all makes sense!!
@@CMM726 honestly, I don’t even think I would care if a girl who was a lesbian was looking at my body, even though I’m straight. I get that it may be more comfortable to turn away, and totally-whatever works for them. But I feel like a girl looking at me is far less objectifying and far less “ew, yuck, I’m about to be assaulted” feeling.
I lived in survival mode for years due to long term sexual abuse. Alcoholism was my escape. I'm in long term counseling and recovery from alcoholism. I'm on psych meds for severe anxiety and ptsd. Even though our stories are different I totally understand and agree with your description of survival mode. Love you Jess.
@@audreypendleton9936 I’m guys Out of all the problems in prison THIS JS THE ONE THING- (It’s a joke btw there are horrible things in prison that’s re so disrespectful and probably traumatising)
You saw the truth about yourself and overcame it- and you share your stories in the hope that we'll be inspired to do the same. GOOD FOR YOU! And keep it up.
Its like a legal form of sexual abuse really 😬 but I do understand they have to keep certain things out of prisons so I dont know what the alternative would be. but they shouldnt be doing it for no good reason
I agree...I understand at some times a strip search is necessary...but if only there was a way to do it in a more dignified matter...Like exposing only one part of the body at a time, and allowing the woman to cover the rest of the body. I feel the way female inmates are treated is just plain wrong :(
@@zoebambrook3043 airport body scanners expose a person to much lower doses of radiation than medical xrays and are generally considered safe. However, what happens when a person is subjected to those scans and accompanying low dose radiation on a regular basis? I couldn't find any long term studies, but I imagine the answer is "nothing good". I'd rather stick with the squat and cough because that has zero chance of giving me cancer years down the road.
@@zoebambrook3043 Ok? Going through a scanner once or twice per week is quite a bit different that going through once twice daily, which is how often inmates on work release would be passing through them. There's also a more than solid chance of twisted COs making inmates spend more time exposed to the scanners than necessary just for shits and giggles. Sure, the overall risk from that type of imaging is much lower than the risk from medical imagining, but there is still a very small risk because that's just how it goes when the human body is directly exposed to radiation. You may be fine with that risk, but some of us have shit luck when it comes to medical issues and are not fine with it. Unless there is an airport scanner type device that emits zero radiation? Idk, I don't fly and haven't been anywhere near an airport in years--nothing to do with the scanners lol; everything to do with a crippling fear of heights. Doesn't really matter anyway, the prison system isn't gonna blow money on expensive shit like scanners when the existing strip searches are basically free. Want to know the best way to avoid any type of search in jail or prison? Don't do the crime if you have a problem with doing the time 🤷♀️. Sure, some people are innocent and get a raw deal but they're basically unicorns.
I had the same thing when I was there for being sexually assaulted and treated like an object and I went there and got assualted and stripped down by creepy sexist men nurses
Thankyou for recommending Larry Lawton. He’s a straight up NO BS dude, and seems like a really nice guy. Would be a fantastic collab with you and him Jess if it works out so you can.
Thank you Jess, for helping me get through today. So on the 16th of July i turned level (age) 49. I am remembering my strength and i can feel it reaching out to me. My feet are on the path to sober i have never been before a judge for a crime and thanks to you i never will
"It's not my fault I was an addict, but it is my responsibility to recover."
This is so important. Thank you for sharing this.
Addiction is a choice. It's 100% the persons fault.
@@glenjamindle The decision to utilise drugs may be an addicts idea to begin with, but once the disease takes hold, that choice is taken away. Those suffering from addiction remain responsible for their actions, as do us all. Addiction is never an excuse, but often an explanation.
@@gracetaylor2986 That's a lazy blame shifting excuse. Addiction is not a disease. It's a choice. Own up to your choices.
@@glenjamindle Many choices made in active addiction can feel pressured. Often, this leads to poor judgement and decision making... Again, I agree that it is the responsibility of an addict to keep their emotions and their actions in check, as is the case for us all... Again, addiction is not an excuse for poor behaviour, but substance abuse can sometimes be a reason for it.
@@glenjamindle It’s hard to fix a broke mind with a broke mind.
Strip searches freak me out. You won’t catch me doing anything to land in prison. I’ve got 19 years sober! My sober day is October 29th! Thank you for all you do Jess!
Yay🎉 well done I’m so proud of you
@@jessobrien8257 thank you so much
19 years! That's amazing 👏👏
@@corbean3038 thank you so much!
Amazing! Congrats on 19 years.
I was a deputy for 15 years and learned that most of the people I dealt with on the streets and in the jails were motivated by some type of substance addiction. I started to realize most of them were good people fighting one helluva demon called addiction. Glad to see you are healthy, sober and doing well in your recovery!
I'm just curious if you noticed a pattern with the vast majority of people with addiction issues? In my experience as a hairdresser where people tend to spill their guts about their own personal experiences or their family/friends is that most who take it past an experimental/rebellious/partying phase to full blown addiction are numbing past traumas. I'm in Australia and from what I see going to therapy in the U.S. seems very common whereas here in Australia... Not so much. It's become a lot less stigmatized yet it's not spoken about as openly.
I realise you made your comment months ago but I'm interested in your perspective during your time as a deputy. Thanks. Take care from Australia.
@@elenawilliams32 I definitely think it has to do with past traumas. It's so sad to me. My heart goes out to them. I've just observed people I've known over the years, mostly and heard their stories some. I was briefly a Detention Deputy last year too. I wish people could get more help when needed, in so many ways, mental health help, with addition, trauma, ect. But I do feel addiction a lot of times is to mask past trauma someone's had. 😔
addiction doesn’t exist
@@elenawilliams32 I believe it starts with experimentation. If someone is suffering and they find a substance to mask that pain, they can absolutely fall prey to addiction.
@@jeff0247598 Agreed. It appears that in the US that therapy has been normalised and not just for addiction. Here in Australia if someone goes to therapy it's usually on the quiet because of the negative stigma. It's so much worse for our men as they're told to 'have a spoonful of concrete and harden the f**K up' or similar. It's slowly changing... Very slowly. Cheers for the reply. Take care from Australia 🐨.
strip searches are more than enough to keep me out of prison XD
Same!
Strip searches and using the bathroom or showering are enough to make me not do stupid shit to go to prison lol
That's good
Most people don't intend to go to prison.
LMAO SAME💀😂
I get it. The out of body thing. Disassociation. Trauma response.
As someone who has also been through trauma, I agree with this 100%.
Exactly.
I’ve been through a horrid trauma, now have ptsd. I get it too.
I thought it was normal till I was in work one day and told everyone snd they laughed at me. I felt so stupid. I didn’t know what it was then. It’s the most bizarre feeling in the world I can have days where I’ve disassociated if I’m really anxious etc. I feel you all. You are all warriors!
@@teahursh7815 I'm so sorry. I can relate, although things have improved for me over the years. It's not been an easy journey, and there's still a lot that needs work. I hope that things get easier for you ❤
I’m currently representing a client who is up for parole and he’s strip searched every time we have a VIDEO call.
For a video call, How you gonna smuggle anything through a video call? Lol thats actually pretty funny
@@axlfox4048 I would guess they have a room for the video calls and maybe they don't want contraband going in and out of that room/area.
Either that or just to mess with the inmates
That is ridiculous!
That's awful.
Okay, that's actually insane.
decided to throw the alcohol away this morning after a small act of kindness that stuck with me. thank you for everything you do and being my biggest inspiration in life. you give me the hope that the future can be better and will be. so much love to you and your beautiful family
@byunael: Your comment shows '1 year ago.' I hope you were able to continue after tossing the bottle in the trash!
Hi, just reading your comment a year later. I hope life is being good to you and you're doing okay. If you slip up please don't beat yourself up over it. It can take a few tries (or many more) to overcome any addiction.
The vast majority of people I've known with substance abuse issues have taken them to numb traumas in their past. I hope you have some good supports around you. Take care from Australia.
I'm 11 months sober today!
Yay🎉🥳❤️
yay im so proud of u :D
@@isabelsbella8235 Thank you!
Congrats!!
👏👏👏👏👏
One of the many reasons I have the utmost respect for you, Jess is because you don't judge the way people recover, you just want them to recover. You're a genuine person, and I can't wait until Hollywood is ready to share some of her story.
I think that's the difference between people who have actually been through it themselves, and those who haven't. It's impossible to really understand, without judgement, the realities of relapse and the fact that you've just got to do whatever it is that works for you as an individual etc. Jess is awesome :)
i love how she is not scared to share her story or say she got arrested.
Of course she is not scared her whole youtube career is based on these events
Ikr I would never be this courageous
@@johannesbastiaan bruh
She's making her income through it. It's obvious self growth and she has an education in that field don't remember what... Though at this point it's her career to talk about these things (life experiences)
3 years sober for me this March !!! I came across your page through my sober journey
Love ya Jess so proud of you ♥️
Congratulations!
Aaaa well done congrats girl 🥰 🎉🎉
Congratulations!
As an officer I did my first strip search, I felt so bad, I started from the bottom and worked up, vs from the top to the bottom. After I realized what I did, I actually went and apologized to the female inmates. They were cool about it and we laughed, but damn it’s just as traumatic for officers too. At least it was for me!!
I get it I would never want to get strip searched or to have to do it!
You're just doing your job
Why from bottom to top is worse?
@@andreeaalexandru7811 because they have to spread their butt checks, squat, cough. So you should start from their hair and work down.
I've done many searches. I feel bad but its part of the job.
Thank god.. I really need this, my best friend passed away recently from cervical cancer and I needed something to take my mind off everything going on... you are so amazing jess... I've been feeling so down lately, I've been wanting to relapse with self harm, cutting specifically, and your vibe and personality really helps me through everything
Im so sorry!
@@JessicaKent means a lot jess, thank you so much
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly want your going through. And I know it's hard but you have to keep your head up, your friend wouldn't want you to harm yourself. And neither do we. If you ever need to talk to someone I'm here on Instagram I'm Kate Kennedy and my pic is a cat.
@@katekennedy2550 you just brought me to tears, thank you so so much! I will give you a follow... I know she wouldn't want me to, she is like my second mother and she was always there for me when I was in dark places and she knew how to pull me out of it. She was a force to be reckoned with.
💔🙏🏾
First comment!! Jess, every morning I want to use.. I put in my headphones and listen to you.
Awe please keep fighting to maintain your sobriety! Ik its really tough but you can do this! ❤❤
Stay strong! You are worth it and you deserve to be free!!!😊👍
@@saraheubanks7827 I'm so proud of you honey, stay strong
@@saraheubanks7827 congratulations on 6 years of sobriety! Keep fighting the good fight. You're doing great!!
So proud of you, stay strong ❤️ xxx
Jess, YOU are the reason for my sobriety during the last 7 days!❤ So THANK YOU for giving me that strength to recovery!🙏
How are you now?
I know there’s a one percent chance of anyone seeing this but I hope you have an amazing day!!
-Drink some water
-Take a shower/bath
-Eat a meal
-Relax
-Take a nap
-Go for a walk
-Take a break from social media
Do whatever makes you happy! This is a stressful time and just know that you are loved and that we can get through this together!!
The Two Rules for Happiness (in addition to a regular yoga practice):
(1) Always have the proper container for everything;
(2) Never take yourself too serious.
Thank you breanna🥺🙏🏼 same goes to you💞💘
@@saraheubanks7827 thank you
@@alondramulero5915 thanks 🥺
Thank you really appreciate it hope you have a good day or night
Dam. They strip search A LOT more than I ever thought!
Your hair color is beautiful on you 😍
@@alliesteph6274 thank you!
@@alliesteph6274 good vibes ☀️🤍
Strip search... what about people who’ve been sexually abused... another layer of trauma, this becomes. Inhumane.
So much this!!!!!!
Me.. I was sexually assaulted at 12 and I'm still working to love my body. Never going to prison though
finally someone said it!
@@mollycouture8208 God made you amazing, and you are exactly that. No mistreatment changes that. Stay strong. You’re perfect.
@@BelaMasz123 Thanks, some days it is so hard and I don't know how I will ever get over this and be a better person
Girl I'm sooo happy you posted. I work at Walmart from 1-10 and its rough. Ugh you made my morning!!! Btw my sobriety beat is coming up! In a few months it will be 8 years!
Kate Nolan Congratulations! That’s an amazing accomplishment! I hope you’re tremendously proud of yourself! Best wishes for your sobriety to last a lifetime! 💕 God bless! 🌻
jess, there's nothing you kent do
I am living for this pun! 😂
Thiiiis is good
I wish I made this pun. 😂
she needs to see this omg
I am dead🤣🤣
I love how much you validate different paths to recovery. Not one thing will work for everyone and no one should be shamed for how they choose to thrive in their own life.
4:10 "out of body experience", that pretty much means its traumatic for inmates, our souls leave our bodies for some time if they cannot handle whats going on, a survival method.
it's not the soul, lol
dissociation/depersonalization; it's a trauma response.
@@nikki1932 thats psychological explanation yes, all things have spiritual reasons to them, depends from which perspective you look at it, both are correct. its the same thing, really.
dissociation meaning is disconnecting from something, in this case, from our soul.
not traumatic... its just that your soul wants to roam while your body is caged. This is how you feel when you are locked up. Helpless. You wished you were sitting in a park, just walking, doing the worst things....except not being locked up. Being caged is something you cannot imagine. You have to be there to feel it.
@@nom5205 um ive been lol, and due to reasons this was also traumatic for me, i was dissociating lot of the time. could be traumatic experience for lot of ppl easily.
Hey Jessica, I don't normally post comments but I have been blessed to come across your content at a really tough time in my own struggle with addiction and the sincerity and compassion with which you encourage us to get clean and be healthy and to find the right method of recovery for us is so motivational and inspiring and brings me to tears because I know I'm not alone and that if you have the strength to overcome the incredible hardship you've suffered in your life then I know I can put the effort and work and time in to recover myself. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and being as empathetic and compassionate as you are. I wish you all the best along with everyone else who is struggling with addiction.
Can’t wait till Hollywood is comfortable enough to tell her story. I’m glad she’s out!
When I went to jail (I got assaulted by two people, and they didn’t go to jail ) I refuse a strip search and started bawling. I cant even get Pap smears because of how traumatized I am. The jail never searched me. If I went to prison, they would have to forcefully remove my clothes or knock me out. Then, as a rape victim, all that ptsd would probably come back and result in my suicide.
Same here dude, from csa, i would literally rather kill myself than go through this.
IMO they should be a little bit more considerate of women who are required to strip search. I understand that the search is mandatory, but perhaps the officers should take into consideration that many women have been sexually abused, and that the strip search can be traumatic. Even covering one part of the body at a time with a blanket would make the situation a bit less humiliating. :(
@@chelseamercer3825 I know it's more common for women, but men too can be sexually assaulted and is just as important for them to not be triggered.
Same, my sister makes fun of me for not getting a Pap smear and I’m like have you been assaulted no so you don’t understand
I’m the same I could never get a pap smear either because of this - people who just say ‘you’re being stupid doctors do it all the time’ literally have no idea what it feels like to be that traumatised unless you’ve been through it.
Yeah it’s risky to physical health to skip them, but it’s riskier to my mental health to do it. I’d probably end up re-traumatised and suicidal again.
😂 I love hearing about Hollywood. She seems like a funny and strong person, and we will be here for her as well if/when she is ever ready! 💜💜 My dad served time when I was young and his stories are just as golden as some of these. 😂🤣
When you said pinata! Girl I freaking died. Spit out my coffee and cracked. Thank you I needed that laugh... 6 years clean today for this girl! You inspire me girl
I’m a new subscriber and you have really shown me the need for prison reform. I mean I kind of already knew that, but you’ve shown me how inhumanely PEOPLE in prison are treated. No excuse for that.
Weed is actually my addiction. I wish I had never started it. I'll never sit here and say that being hooked on weed is as bad as 'harder drugs', but it has honestly made me so lazy and isolated and stopping is really hard 😔 love ya jess x
It really is HARD. My ex swore weed wasn't addicting until he tried quitting. He was sweating abnormally and was super moody. Youre not alone. You can do this girl!
Once I stopped smoking weed my brain stayed in a haze for 3 months and then one day...everything became clear. And you never regret giving it up.
Are you still on the weed? How often do you smoke during the day? I'm starting to think it's affecting my work.
I hope your doing better now, good luck❤️
I feel you!!! I do use it more medicinally now. For sleep and nausea. I have constant stomach issues. I wanna be done smoking weed but I also don't wanna feel sick all the time. It's a hard balance.
Haven’t even watched and already hit the like button ☺️☺️☺️
Thank you SO much for elaborating on what you mean by 'stay sober whatever that means to you' I'm also an addict in recovery but 'recovery' for me can be very different to the next person... as long as folk are happy and healthy!❤❤
I cannot imagine anything more humiliating.
I don’t have the background u have, but I have PTSD, depression, anxiety and OCD. I used to binge drink MASSIVELY at the wknds only until about 12 yes ago. I really admire u for ur journey. I’m constantly being told I should write my story as a kinda therapy, but also as a help for others in similar situations to mine. I admire ur strength so much, I’m still really struggling to find the strength to get thru each day, I’m on my knees at this stage tbh
Every time you encourage people's sobriety it brings tears to my eyes. You've got the gift sister. And I LOVE YOU SO MUUUUCHHH!!!
I’m glad you expanded on your statement “whatever that looks like to you“. You very quickly went through the examples and it might be helpful to do a video explaining things like Microdosing and other techniques to get sober. I appreciate your faith in us.
yes 🤍🤍
man jess I apprreciate your honesty so much, it's hard for me to admit my mistakes
on the influence as well
When you speak, I can hear that you really care and that is just so reassuring.
i recently found your youtube and its really nice to see people who move past a past like that. i was in and out of jail and nearly sent to prison multiple times, i got lucky. ive changed my life 180 from being a addict who didnt care about anything or anyone to being a caring and motivated person. Its heart warming seeing people that have overcome this stuff
I have really bad anxiety depression and hypochondria. What sobriety looks like to me is not obsessively looking up my symptoms, a day when I can calm myself down from an anxiety attack, and taking a shower/eating when I’m depressed. You’re amazing Jess, thanks for encouraging me to remain sober.
I greatly appreciate how you end your videos. I have struggled my entire life with depression, anxiety, ptsd and substance abuse. Its hard feeling like you’re subhuman. Today you made me feel human for the first time in a long time. You’re an amazing woman. Thank you.
i am not first,
i am not last,
but when jess uploads,
i click fast
Omg cute
OMG I see this so much lol on every channel this isn’t original 😂
Love this and same!😂
OMG! Same though! 🤣🤣🤣
@@equestrianashes6564 i know , i just had to write this 😂
So very proud of you for taking control of your addiction!! And for you to make these videos to share, and hopefully get others to think and realize that the road they may be on is nothing but a dead-end street (both figuratively AND literally) is absolutely AWESOME!! Keep doin' what you're doin'!!!
I miss you glad to see you healthy and better over the year's 🙏🏾🙏🏾💯 continue to being you
You're spot on, on so many levels girl.. Thank you for sharing your life. I've been dope free for 6.5 years now. It's a great feeling.
I love you so much!! You inspire me and everyone around you. Keep on being yourself and making these awesome videos.
I'm new here, but I'm not new, I'm old. Wow raw brutal honesty. You don't get that from anyone. If things are going good for you I'm glad. Take care.
Good Morning! Started my day with a new Jen video and now I get to watch yours
I stumbled upon your channel through YT Shorts, and I am so happy that I did. It is very important to understand how hard life is for inmates, especially female inmates. The anecdotes you share really help me respect inmates even more than I already did, and more importantly understand their psyche better. Kudos to you for your success. Much more power to you.
Your videos make me excited for Monday! ❤️
Jess, what a powerful message about sobriety. Much obliged.
I've never broken the law so I have never been convicted, however I just love your energy and video style that I've been here for a few years now ❤ the vlog channel gives me life girl, you are SUCH a good mama
I've been following your channel for quite some time now but you never fail to reach my heart and amaze me. You are so kind, loving, understanding, open, willing to learn. You remind me of me but with better wording😹 and waaaaay more experience. and yes, over time I learned to accept, that I am a nice and kind person and I hope the world learns a lot from you Jess ❤
As a former clinician on an inpatient dual diagnosis unit at a private IPU/DDU/Detox treatment facility for many years, I commend you for what you’re doing here. Not just struggling through the traumatic experience of becoming sober, which typically doesn’t happen for people the first time they reach out for help. Nothing can prepare a person for the physical/mental/emotional/spiritual torment coupled with detox. It’s incredibly difficult to know there’s something that can make it all go away - just outside those locked doors - but you can’t get it. There are those who can put mind over matter & tough it out the first time, but more often than not patients leave because they just weren’t ready for everything that accompanies detoxing. But if they show up voluntarily for no other reason than wanting to change their lives, they almost always come back, and when they do, they’re more prepared. Even if it takes 5, 6, 10, 100 times, they’re more prepared each time & one of those times it works. I used to tell my patients that leaving and coming back isn’t failure, regardless of how many times they do it, as long as they come back. Leaving rehab isn’t failing; leaving & never trying again is. It’s just part of the process.
Loved ones who have never experienced a relationship with addiction think it’s as simple as deciding to just stop, which is destructive on so many levels. It’s important for people to have a support system which includes addicts in recovery - whether it’s rehab, living in a sober living house, AA/NA, or just seeking out others who do understand that relationship - those are the people whose support will be the most beneficial in getting sober & staying sober. By making this kind of content you become part of someone’s struggle and their support system. You’ll likely never know exactly how many lives you’ve helped change, how many people find the inspiration & courage to motivate sobriety through you, nor how many people connect to you & your path who draw strength that you’ll never know you lent them. But I guarantee it’s a lot. THIS is what addicts need to be told; what they need to hear. I don’t know too many people who would be willing to lay their mistakes on the table for the world to see, but I do know that if more people did, it would do a lot more good for a lot more people. You should be extremely proud of yourself……what you’ve accomplished is never easy. Sharing your story is going to help countless others feel proud of themselves too, because you’ve shown them that it’s possible to conquer addiction and rebuild their lives, that they too can find happiness again. That makes all the difference in the world. Thank you for everything you do.
Yay I needed this pick me up right now thank you Jess
Yup I remember being strip searched coming into prison, going to and from work, visitation, leaving the prison to go to court, coming back from court, and leaving prison. They also cut my hair coming into prison. I'm a female they gave me a buzz cut to go into prison in Georgia, USA. Truly horrifying
Wow. Are they even allowed to do something like that? Why did they do that?
@@AvecFromage1 yes they are allowed to do it all. We had to wash with lice removal shampoo to go into the facility.
this is a great way to cope after being in prison i mean starting a youtube channel to tell your story is a really great thing
Oh dear gods. I can't even begin to imagine this.
I appreciate your honesty and candor. I have never been to jail/prison. Please know that God loves you!
HOLYWOOD!!!!! I’m so excited to meet you!!!
That outro got my eyes watery, I really needed that. Much love, staying in recovery ❤️
I got stripped searched once. I was 14 years old going to juvie. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I had a padded bra on back before they were popular and I was so insecure 😩 I definitely felt violated. Don't recommend!
They strip searched a child?! That cannot be legal at all, was this recent? I’d sue them
What made you go to juvie if I may ask ?
@@foxja1 Juvie is JAIL. Teenager try to smuggle contraband just as much as adults.
@@HUBABUBA-il8fn that doesn’t make it any all better, SHOULDNT be done to adults either, it’s sexual assault. Period
@@foxja1 Not sexual assault. Can't do the time, don't do the crime. Maybe you should watch her video on the 10 best hiding spots in prison. People hide all sorts of items in body cavities including guns and other weapons, and items to assist in escapes in addition to other contraband in their body cavities. I guess you think jail and prison should be more like a day camp, or a spa treatment. GET REAL.
Whenever you are ready Hollywood, we would all love to hear your story!!! Much love from Florida ❤️
It doesn’t make sense why prison is set up that way. The yelling, food, pads and soaps. I realize people did something wrong but it isn’t logical to treat people that way. It clearly makes people have mental health issues. What is the point?
Its all about money they arent in the buisness of rehabilitation...which is such a shame its badly needed
I understand that and I think so too, but at the same time... I wish that those conditions made more people stay out of prison and not break the law ... and I’m also afraid that if it wasn’t so bad, there would be even more people in prison because for some people it would be better option than what they currently have. But that’s just my mind going in all the directions possible, It’s still awful because some people committed something really bad, but at the same time some people didn’t do THAT bad things to deserve this.
@@veronikapop8161 Like Jessica said she was addicted to drugs so everything a person does is in order to obtain more drugs.Based on the lives of a few addicts that I know it is extremely hard to stop using. I have great respect for people who are able to stop even for a short time. In other situations people act impulsively, have mental health problems, or even think they will get away with it. The consequences don’t seem to be in the forefront. I also believe that prison may be better than some peoples regular lives.
I believe the purposes of prison should be rehabilitation like education, medications, support, developing self-esteem and know people support you. This would reduce it from happening again. It would also be a way to find out if a person actually committed the crime. Many people in prison are victims to start with. Then changing laws so when people leave they can get a decent job if they want to. Obviously then child rapist and other could stay in prison and not be let out and then reoffend. Obviously, there shouldn’t be fancy expensive food. A balanced meal should be provided for humane and health reasons. If people are treated horrible they will respond to that treatment in a negative way. It is psych101.
Europe prisons are more humane
That kind of is part of the point--breaking you down.
Dissociation and laughing are definitely two decent coping skills. Sad, but nice to see someone that actually gets it.
I really hope I can get better and join the fight for reform, so many systems are screwed. The justice and mental health systems absolutely need changes.
Love you Jess!! This upload was crazy!! Next time I see a pinata I'm gonna bust out laughing 😂
I love you Jess! So so so much. Everything you said in the end I really felt in my heart. Thank you for all you do for our community. We do recover!
Coffee and Kent time!! Love you Jess! I never miss an upload - I pray for your family’s health and happiness daily!! Sending hugs and positivity!!
Omg Koffee with Kent!!!!!
Awwww....what a sweetheart....so glad you have recovered... I know you have to remain vigilant to not relapse...proud of anyone who can make it out of the darkness!!! God bless you
As a lesbian, I don’t feel offended by not wanting a lesbian look up your “Area” my input on it is it’s the same as a man looking up your “area” you wouldn’t be comfortable because the man likes girls, same with a lesbian
No not all lesbians have crushes on all girls and I bet you know that but you were on drugs at the time
Nor would I being Gay
Guys don't want to see every girls vagina just because they are straight..
Why do they call hemorrhoids asteroids when lesbians get them?
I feel like it is different because a lesbian is a woman herself. She has been harassed and objectified by men before, she knows how it feels. Also, another woman can't impregnate you, the threat is lower.
Probably would prefer a straight woman to a lesbian but I feel like it's very very far from being "the same as a man", men are way scarier
Well I wouldn't want a straight woman doing that either, it'd be uncomfortable either way
I absolutely love your stories, as I myself have been in jail, I can relate to you so much!! I've been clean and sober for almost 9 years now. Your videos truly make a difference for me, I don't recall how I found your videos but I'm so happy I did!!
And you said your friend Angela just passed away, 1st, im so sorry for your loss and 2nd, I lost one of my best friends last year from an overdose on fentanyl. Her death was hard to go through especially because the week prior I had spent a few days at her house ( yes she lived wth her parents still) and we had a blast bcuz we just celebrated her daughter turning 1. I miss her more than anything ❤❤ I found your page soon after are passed and yes we did end up in the same pod together in jail and we just constantly laughed and laughed!! God I miss her 💔😢 Thank you for being so open and honest about that life l, it's helped me in so many ways like I said. It may make no sense as to why, but trust me, it really has!! You can clearly tell your such a kind hearted and very caring person. Never stop these videos or who you are bcuz I continue to see how many women you are helping with making these videos ❤❤
I'll never be first 😂 I have to watch before I comment because that's how my brian works lol. But I live for these videos. They get me through my days, which are not easy right now.❤ thank u Jessica
Thanks for putting the definition of black boxed on the screen for us straight edge softies. I like that
Im actually early for a change! Hope your 2021 is going well Jess
12 days sober
And I appreciate you saying “whatever that means to you” in regards to recovery so much. More than you know. I would have never gotten a half of a day if it wasn’t for seeing that there was another way.
Stay strong! Your addiction does not define you. You can do this!
you’re the bomb jess ❤️ we love you girl
So proud of you for getting clean... and staying clean.. Wishing you the best the remainder of your life!!
It sounds like the absolute worst thing to go through even once, but for them to keep putting you through it is definitely trauma. I would be an absolute state after something like that even 1 time so I can understand the ways you coped.
The story about your friend though was sooo funny the piñata I had this mental imagine!! 😂🤟🏼
*image
Also Rest in Peace to your friend.😘
that shade of green looks SO good on you. brings out your eyes :)
Question: did you ever hear of an inmate trying to bribe a CO to skip the strip search? It strikes me that it's the kind of thing people would try their damndest to get out of, even if they weren't holding something. Many thanks for the clip.
They're too busy clenching muscles they may not have even realized they had if they're hiding contraband to give serious thought to trying to get out of the search. Besides, attempting to bribe your way out of the search or otherwise avoid it makes a person look guilty as shit of hiding something. Not only will you still be searched, the COs will pay much closer attention in an effort to catch you and the guard who might have half assed the search will now have their undivided attention ALL up in your business.
Most contraband comes in from the guards themselves.
Jess your words at the end of this video touched my heart, I wish there were more genuine, for real people such as yourself, those words brought a tear to my eye, and your a prime example of 'if we all took a leaf', out of what you genuinely just said 🙂
I have a chip on my shoulder as well as u I sometimes walk up mad for no reason but your video’s help me not to use because I used pills and weed and coke
Kaitlin Nicole Stay Strong! You’ve got this! You can do anything you put your mind to! Prayers for your recovery. May God bless you and help you in this new chapter of your life. 💕
You've got a lot of heart and a lot of love. Amazing. What a journey you've been on, and what an amazing place you've come to.
Love you from Australia comment once I finished watching its 1:35am here
3:45 am 🤦🏼♂️
You know I've been listening to your stuff for awhile I really like what you have to say I am an addict myself I've been struggling with it for well over a decade and still am today but the last part you said is good advice now I've never been to prison but I've been arrested several times and I've been to County I appreciate what you do encouraging people and telling your story keep up the good work
I remember the first time I ever was taken into jail (Juvi ) at age 15. It was a dark time in my life. I remember them making me strip down naked, squat / cough - and then spraying me with lice killing spray and having me hop in this cold ass shower. Bleh. When I went to as an adult, no lice spray or shower, but same deal. Much longer stay as an adult too. Last time I ever got locked up again. F that. Been sober almost 7 years!!
I'm glad that the military corrections experience isn't nearly this bad. I felt respected, for the most part. A lot of the Marine COs were very nice.
You know, I’m really thinking (probably over thinking-it’s what I do best) about the whole lesbian woman strip searching other women thing. Because in theory, women being searched by lesbians should be the same kind of feeling as a woman being searched by a straight man. But I feel like it’s certainly not. Taking it out of that uncomfortable, violating, dehumanizing context, I’m pretty confident I would change in front of a lesbian friend. I’m also pretty confident that I wouldn’t change in front of a straight, male friend (or probably a gay, male friend for that matter). It’s almost like I am so much more trusting of women, and rightfully so. No woman wants to be assaulted, and every woman knows what it feels like to fear that. The separation of genders in compromising situations has never been about sex or attraction; it’s about power and abuse of power.
Sorry if none of that makes sense. This is what it’s like to be inside my head lol
It makes a lot of sense, and also adds another puzzle piece to me thinking about how places like bathrooms, changing rooms, etc are separated by gender even though you could still be attracted to the same gender.
About changing in front of a lesbian friend… so when I was a teenager I shared a room with my younger sister and she always had her best friend over (who was female). I would get changed in front of them thinking nothing of this as we all are girls. My sisters friend always acted weird and would look away. I thought she was just conservative. Years later she came out of the Closet and told my sister “I knew I was a lesbian when I saw your sister changing.” Now it all makes sense!!
@@CMM726 honestly, I don’t even think I would care if a girl who was a lesbian was looking at my body, even though I’m straight. I get that it may be more comfortable to turn away, and totally-whatever works for them. But I feel like a girl looking at me is far less objectifying and far less “ew, yuck, I’m about to be assaulted” feeling.
I lived in survival mode for years due to long term sexual abuse. Alcoholism was my escape. I'm in long term counseling and recovery from alcoholism. I'm on psych meds for severe anxiety and ptsd. Even though our stories are different I totally understand and agree with your description of survival mode. Love you Jess.
OMG what if you were on your period?!
That’s what I was thinking lmao or I bet a lot of people fart when they cough😂
@@katherinelong837 🤣🤣
@@audreypendleton9936 I’m guys
Out of all the problems in prison
THIS JS THE ONE THING-
(It’s a joke btw there are horrible things in prison that’s re so disrespectful and probably traumatising)
You cough and then THAT just comes out 😂
@@katherinelong837 that would be me 😂
You saw the truth about yourself and overcame it- and you share your stories in the hope that we'll be inspired to do the same. GOOD FOR YOU! And keep it up.
I just wanna say that ur doing amazing with ur life Jess :) 👍
that ending is so strong and important 🥺❤️
Jess has taught me more than enough to keep me out of trouble 😂😂🤣
When I watch a video of yours, I immediately press the like button, before I even watch it. Cuz, girl I already know its gonna be good💜
Its like a legal form of sexual abuse really 😬 but I do understand they have to keep certain things out of prisons so I dont know what the alternative would be. but they shouldnt be doing it for no good reason
I agree...I understand at some times a strip search is necessary...but if only there was a way to do it in a more dignified matter...Like exposing only one part of the body at a time, and allowing the woman to cover the rest of the body. I feel the way female inmates are treated is just plain wrong :(
@@zoebambrook3043 Yeah! That's a good point...
@@zoebambrook3043 wouldn't that only pick up metal though?
@@zoebambrook3043 airport body scanners expose a person to much lower doses of radiation than medical xrays and are generally considered safe. However, what happens when a person is subjected to those scans and accompanying low dose radiation on a regular basis? I couldn't find any long term studies, but I imagine the answer is "nothing good".
I'd rather stick with the squat and cough because that has zero chance of giving me cancer years down the road.
@@zoebambrook3043 Ok? Going through a scanner once or twice per week is quite a bit different that going through once twice daily, which is how often inmates on work release would be passing through them. There's also a more than solid chance of twisted COs making inmates spend more time exposed to the scanners than necessary just for shits and giggles. Sure, the overall risk from that type of imaging is much lower than the risk from medical imagining, but there is still a very small risk because that's just how it goes when the human body is directly exposed to radiation. You may be fine with that risk, but some of us have shit luck when it comes to medical issues and are not fine with it.
Unless there is an airport scanner type device that emits zero radiation? Idk, I don't fly and haven't been anywhere near an airport in years--nothing to do with the scanners lol; everything to do with a crippling fear of heights. Doesn't really matter anyway, the prison system isn't gonna blow money on expensive shit like scanners when the existing strip searches are basically free.
Want to know the best way to avoid any type of search in jail or prison? Don't do the crime if you have a problem with doing the time 🤷♀️. Sure, some people are innocent and get a raw deal but they're basically unicorns.
Really felt the love and compassion about recovery THANKS
I was strip searched all the time when in a mental hospital it was horrible
Thats awful. In a place where you are vulnerable already, for them to put you through that makes me so mad! I’m so sorry you had to go through that❤️
I had the same thing when I was there for being sexually assaulted and treated like an object and I went there and got assualted and stripped down by creepy sexist men nurses
They went out of there way to rip mine off
Thankyou for recommending Larry Lawton. He’s a straight up NO BS dude, and seems like a really nice guy. Would be a fantastic collab with you and him Jess if it works out so you can.
Strip searches sound so awful!! Thank you for sharing this!!
Thank you Jess, for helping me get through today.
So on the 16th of July i turned level (age) 49.
I am remembering my strength and i can feel it reaching out to me.
My feet are on the path to sober i have never been before a judge for a crime and thanks to you i never will