I just recently came across your videos. My son suffers from the same condition. He thinks exactly likes you. Spends the day in our basement, won't go out of the house, and has no friends. It breaks this moms heart. Your videos helps me to understand he is not alone in this mental illness journey. I hope one day you and my son can get over the fear of people and realize how much you are loved and how many people are here for you and him. Sending you love and hugs and safe thoughts from Colorado
Hey Jacob- I admire you and appreciate your honesty. I've learnt a lot from your channel, and you've found a way to reach people without needing to be 'social'. Keep going man. Thanks
Even a person with no health issues will get scared of people if they are isolated under a long time. That is totally normal. One problem with schizophrenia, bipolar or depression is that the amygdala is oversensitive and that is producing fears for things that are not scary. Try KBT therapy. Make small steps every day to get better by forcing you to do a small thing that makes you uncomfortable. Say walk down and go around your house. THen expand to go around your house two times. Call a friend or relative on skype and expand to do a small step every day. People with a phobia for spiders or any type of phobia is trained and exposed to what they fear. Buy a brighter light to have in your room. That will give your brain stimulation and tell your brain that you are not in a black cave hiding. It will trick your brain into that you are in a bright place and that you are not hiding for some unknown danger. I am not a psychologist this is just a laymans suggestion that I have heard psychologists use to help people.
I sometimes get scared to even like a video, thinking that I've given people something to analyze about me. That's also when I won't answer the phone, terrified of the conversation. For me, luckily, this comes and goes.
Oh man, I’m not schizophrenic but I relate to a lot you’ve said. I went through something like this and it isn’t something I would wish on anyone. Still deal with some of it today. Listen, try not to torture yourself with your thoughts. I’m much better now and I realize that it is OKAY to be asocial. Personally I find my mood and energy is much better on my own. I embrace it. First, don’t waste your energy trying to imagine what other people are thinking. Second, FORGIVENESS. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Please be kind to yourself.
I don't have a single friend either, I've tried, my diagnosis is PTSD. I'm incredibly suspicious of everyone I meet and I like being alone, I have zero social skills and also dealt with a good amount of bullying and people hating me. So it never works to have a friend. Sometimes I wish I could. Even if your videos are you just talking to yourself, I really connect with a lot of what you say.
Hi, if you play videogames or just want to chat, feel free to hit me up. No need for voice coms. Seriously, I'd love to just talk if you'd ever feel like it. Wish you all the best!
No matter what, you have connected with a lot of people who watch your videos. I know it's hard. I've had this condition for 4 years. It's definitely changed me. I don't really let anyone get close either. I have friend's & I have had good times with people but it always goes back to me being alone & to be honest I'm just used to that now. This might not be something you'd be into but have a look & see if there are any mental health groups for young people you could attend. The Hearing Voices groups for example. It might be good to try meet people going through what you are and feeling what you do. Wish you all the best bro. Your videos have helped me a lot & I started my own channel on here about a year ago. Best thing I ever did.
The not looking people in the eye thing, I feel you!! Making eye contact is fucking terrifying! Then when I don't look at people I start thinking oh they think I'm shifty or bad or something and it makes it worse! Made me feel a bit better knowing that I'm not the only one!
I and most others know you are not fake. I have schizoaffective disorder and can relate to what you say. With meds I am able to go to work but still have paranoia quite often about what others might think or say about me. I too don’t like being around many people. I try remember it is just the illness that makes me think and feel this way. You really help me in not feeling alone with my illness and give me strength. Love you bro 😊
Wow Suzanne, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder around 8 years ago, I feel exactly the same way as you! However, unfortunately I get jobs but keep leaving them due to thinking what others are thinking of me obsessively. Maybe I need to do a job that's not in a team...
I'm in the same boat, Suzanne. I have schizoaffective disorder and I can never attend groups, let alone social situations or work in general, because of my paranoia around what others will say about me and think about me. I've decided I'm going to try and get myself into social situations to combat that feeling and paranoid thinking.
Ziaul Choudhury You have to remember it is the illness. Ok some people might actually make the odd comment as they are just human. But at the end of the day they are not really malicious with it in reality. I have learnt from being around other people who do not have this illness and observed their behaviours. As I have had the illness now for 27 years I have been on old antipsychotic drugs which allowed me to work as my emotions and thoughts were dulled so they did not really affect me. I tried coming off meds altogether after being on sulpiride for 23 years as the doctor thought that the illness might have gone away. Unfortunately it hasn’t and I soon became really unwell and had to have some time off work. The last 3 years because of advancement with medicines I now take Quetiapine which is a much better drug than sulpiride to help with my delusional thinking and thought processes, except now my emotions are real in the sense that they are not dulled which took some time to get used to and I am still learning now. Think it will be a lifelong process as your body, your circumstances and also medications/therapies change over the years. I find it important that we talk and share our experiences to learn from one another and also to feel less alone when we are finding our illness hard to deal with. I wish you well with your journey. Keep strong always.
Specty Cyborg Yes, I don’t like being around many people either as I am naturally shy and find that I do not always relate to other people well or tolerate them unless they have a diagnosed mental illness and then they are my favourite people! Yes I think it is a good idea about putting yourself out there if you can and maybe build up slowly to mixing with other people. I work in insurance but dream of working for a mental health charity some day as I feel the people there would understand me a lot better or I would feel more comfortable being me. However, where I currently work the people are quite nice and if you explain certain things they are understanding and treat you well.It has a lot to do with your own behaviour towards other people.They will treat you nice if you are pleasant to them. I really hope you are able to find a good support group or job that you like. You are never alone.
I can't go outsite. When i have to go outsite it makes me feel like i'm gonna die or everybody will look at me or something like that. I don't know why. They don't even care about me, but i care about their thought against me. I don't have any friends I'm so shy,terrified,scared talking and it's boring too. But being alone is boring too.I hope you can get through this problem and in future maybe you can make a video about this with title "How to beat being terrified of communication" or something like that :D and help us. This channel looks like your diary. It's good to you. You can check it out your mind condition. It helps me to learn English also. Thank you for channel and being friend to me. I hope you feel yourself better soon.
Your symptoms are everything I'm experiencing I panic when I leave the house can't look at people to much stimulus its fucking horrible try and stay strong bro your not alone trust me
Thanks for making these videos Jacob. I relate to almost everything you go through and you're a hero to me for posting these videos and being so open and honest about what you go through.
I don't think it is possible to stay focused long enough. Someone else would have to ask questions in interview sessions and compile the answers, a lot like the books politicians "write".
Thank you for making that video, It made me feel less lonely. Lately I have lost all my friends so I can understand how you feel and It sucks.I have mental health illness too, I am not schizophrenic but I suffer from depression, anxiety, self harm, and some months ago I tried to OD with my antidepressants. I send you a virtual hug from Italy, stay strong
I use to have horrible social anxiety after i had a hernia surgery in november of 2015. It was to drop one of my testicles down. Before that i had friends and shit. I havent hung out with anybody since like 2017 or later. I dont use medication, ive overcame this by forcing myself to do better little by little. Im still not 100%, but i never have days like i have before. I use to never do eye contact it would feel weird looking someones eyes and only people who have social anxiety would understand that. I use to look at the floor and shit too. Voice would sound really weird and shit. I use to just feel like shit, social anxiety was horrible for 2 years straight. Im 19 now though, it has gotten better. You just got to build up your confidences man. This shit is all in your head, your mind is your enemy. You got to defeat it or atleast minimize it. I know schizophrenia is harder to overcome. But i know you can make it better. You just have to start doing little baby steps to help yourself brother. Itll be hard at first but you got to. Itll make you happy eventually. The main thing is to keep a postive attitude, if you give up on fighting the demoms win. You just have to force yourself into uncomfortable situations.
I relate to you on this in such an extreme way. I have a really hard time connecting with people and being social. It makes it hard to do a lot of things like get a job or have friends. It's almost more torturous being aware of it all. Thanks for making this video. It helps me feel a little less alone.
In the past people used to get electroshock for our kind of problems, like short circuiting the brain in order for it to 'forget' about certain behaviors and fairs, but it had horrible side effects like paralization and loss of emotion and IQ.
love you man.... i dont have schizophrenia .. i have obsessions of being schizophrenic///general anxiety disorder...panic disorder...persistent postural perceptive vertigo... but listening to you just keep me feel really joy... goodluck to you man..
thank you for sharing! i too have troubles with trusting people, which i think has to do with a combonation of personality awkwardness, plus delusions and paranoia about people. only recently have i started making friends, in my late twenties. its cool that you connect with people via youtube and your other channels. hope to see more videos 🤙🏽
4:40-5:08 i dont know why I do this either, I always find myself wanting to reach out to them and apologize but then I go back to being distant and not very interested in talking to anyone. I hope you can find it in you to be as social as the little boy you used to be, bullying is a pretty traumatic thing to go through,.especially as a kid , but I wish you the best luck in your progress
I feel you in so many levels... I've been socially isolating myself for most of my life and got no friends at all. although I am happy being alone, I still struggle going outside..to the shops or any crowded places as I get pretty bad panic attacks and end up sitting in nearest public toilet cabin calming myself down.
I know that feeling very well. People have tried being friends with me but I just can't maintain a friendship. It's very hard for me to communicate as well, I've been told that I'm too emotionless, not caring but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't change it.
Thank you for posting your videos. My son was just diagnosed with schizophrenia and I am trying to learn and understand how this illness affects him. He will not talk to me or anyone in our family - so your videos are helping me gain insight into this illness. Keep up the good work and hope to see more from you. again thank you for putting these videos up - you are really helping others by doing them.
I don't know either man. Most of what you said here I connected with and have very similar social constraints and fears, and I was also bullied as a kid because I was an easy target. Love your videos, keep them coming.
Keep going you have viewers, it’s normal to not want to talk to people it’s not entirely just your disease. I believe you can learn to be social again just keep trying, go outside breath in nature
I have schizoaffective and I also am afraid a lot of the time to even try communicating with people. I only talk to my family (barely) and one friend who is long distance that I met over the internet and haven't ever met in person. In my one friendship, he does almost all the talking, so it kind of works out. But I'm still lonely. I mean I'm grateful to have the one friend, but I long to have friends who are dealing with similar things that I am and can truly relate. For instance it'd be nice to have a friend like you, who understood what it's like to have the negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia. I have very little affect or feelings left after being tormented so much by my voices and the hell of many hospitalizations, so that makes it really hard to understand people anymore. I think I'm more like a person with autism now. Needless to say I have a whole new level of compassion (as much of it as I can feel) for people who are autistic. I don't know of you read the comments on your videos anymore, but I do hope that if you see this that you know there's someone else (there are lots of us) struggling just like you. It's really difficult to have to go through. Please also know if you ever feel you need to talk with someone, I'd be happy to listen. Hope you keep making videos. You have a new subscriber here. God bless you.
I like your videos because they’re “raw” and that makes them relatable. Even if you don’t have friends at least you’re not a poser. I have bp1 and have been struggling with having communication with people and starting friendships. I know for a fact the antipsychotics are not helping that aspect of my life and they kind of turn you into a shell of who you are. Communicating is a skill that needs practice. Just keep that in mind when you way the pros and cons of getting outside and talking to people vs your happiness.
Considering all you said, it's real damn impressive how far you've come on youtube! You're very good at comunicating with your audience and expressing yourself
What you said about these videos hit me. I suffer without communication, it's like I'd fall apart without being involved in other people's lives in any minor way. I used to watch a lot of your videos nearly everyday, and I want you to know that it made me a better person and helped me understand my friends with schizophrenia. I only speak when it fulfills others, and for once I don't know what to say. I wish I could help in some way, but I'm just text on a screen, and that isn't anything.
Wow he cut his hair. I'll miss the long due but he looks good in any hair length. Nice haircut Jacob! The good looks compliment aside Jacob you are never alone. I myself have social anxiety and while it's not as bad as it used to be I''m horrible at communication with other people and me being an introvert doesn't help any because the passion for wanting to talk to others simply just isn't there. Sometimes you can make your best company because a lot of people cannot be trusted anyways but despite that there is plenty of love always heading your way Jacob so the haters can back off while we send you plenty of comments to show you your a normal human being like the rest of us.
Dude, i've been watching your videos for about 3 years or so, i don't have schizophrenia but i think it's interesting for people to know what it's all about, thanks for sharing those amazing videos, i would like to be your friend personally cuz you are such an amazing person, sorry about my english, i'm from Brazil, tks bro, keep rocking :)
Hi Jacob...admire your channel and sure you inspire many others with it. In my view, being 'social' has a lot to do with confidence and believing what you have to say to others is worth hearing. If you find yourself thinking that what you have to say isn't worth hearing...challenge that belief and tell yourself it is. You can practice this during most social settings when you find yourself feeling anxious or afraid to engage with others. All the best pal.
Man I love watching your vids, I know you don’t like pity so I won’t do that, but it pretty epic how even In your circumstances you still makes vids. I have a friend with Tourette’s (I think that’s how you spell it) and even though he has a little difficulty communicating (not to bad) he is a great artist. Just like you. You find a way that’s easier for you to express yourself and that’s awesome!
Yo bud, I've been following you for years now. Stay strong. If these videos help you cope, perhaps provide an outlet for you, You Do You. I have no sympathy for you but I do have compassion for your situation. Keep Going. !!!!
I can’t even firm words as well as u. I am so scared too. I’ve been in severe pain for 24 hours. I’ve hit bottom. I’m ok. But my soul is in deep turmoil. Jacob.
hey mate, im from a Australia Iv had schizophrenia for atleast the past 5 years, im 25 atm, I face a lot of fears, and lonliness and guilt and shame etc. but God is with me to get me through the struggle. just want you to know that God has a plan for you in your life. its not over jesus can set you free from yourself, I know that's whats his going to do in my life. may God give you joy. :)
I feel your pain mate I also don't know why I'm so terrified of people anxious depressed and paranoid I'm from the UK and over here the mental health service is shocking I've been on waiting list for therapy for over a year hobbies saved my life playing guitar and fishing etc its not easy bro but with the right support things will improve :)
I was falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia been on meds for 3 years then one day a random nurse suggest I go for a review panel to get de certified. So I did just that because I had no symptoms of schizophrenia there was 3 psychiatrists and a nurse going against me they went on in great detail why I should remain a pill popper but I waited quietly and then got my chance to fight for myself and needless to say I can say with confidence I am proudly a voluntary patient and recently reduced my meds until I am off of them entirely. So I feel much better overall and becoming more alive to say the least horrible things these medications are.
Jacob, hi! I appreciate you taking the time and effort to share your thoughts and experiences. As a long-time follower of your personal journey, I'd like you to know that even if it's only a one-way communication on youtube, there are people like myself who genuinely would like to know how you're doing and what you're up to. I usually have a hard time engaging in what is considered by many as 'positive' social interactions but I've had the luxury to make myself believe that I am a self-reliant and individualistic person deep down -which on some many levels is just make-believe. Developing social bonding skills is also similar to how our muscles work, I guess. Recovering from even short-term detachment from the outside world takes some readjusting for many people so don't be too hard on yrself. Finding friendship can be hard but I think the world outside is usually not as hostile as we may sometimes tend to believe. Best wishes and love from Turkey.
i dont think i have schizophrenia but ive always felt this way and it runs in the women in my family. i have those same wishes but when u push through it.. it ends up not being what you thought. hope u find your resolution, ive ended up just accepting it if im around people too long i itch to be alone. sometimes reading old literature makes me feel more connected with humanity.
It's one of those things, were I can relate that being Reclusive is such a beautiful comfortable thing, I totally value and understand without Parents I'd be screwed, but having relationships is very important and meaningful. But theirs something so beautiful about being Reclusive makes me feel lazy and addicted and protected from Society. Anyone relate? It's great to have Hobbies, People without Hobbies are dead in my eyes. But life goes by so fast that's the worst reality as well as Un predictable health.
I'm scared of people, too, i'm afraid that they could hurt me in some way and they do hurt, so my best way of dealing with them is avoiding. Sometimes i try sociolizing with friends, but understand that it's scary and painful in some way, so i gave up and quited this kind of activity. I don't understand why, probably like you said it's because of our illness. Good luck to you, Jacob)
I think your simply amazing :) I appreciate you and I wish I could be your friend. I was bullied a lot too . I just feel like everything your saying I can relate too .
Hi Jacob, You are really brave, and motivate a lot of people. My family is filled with mental mental disorders like schizophrenia without getting to personal. Not to long ago I come upon the work of Abram Hoffer and Linus Pauling. They have discovered that high doses of Vitamin B3 (Niacin) can heal schizophrenia as well as other disorders. You have probably read a lot of information already, however I hope you at least take a look at some of the stuff they have written. My family member started taking Vitamin B3 just a few weeks ago and says it is amazing. All the benefits that the Abram Hoffer and Linus Pauling writes about are evident.
Here's what made it possible for me to love people and to wish to interact with them, after I had been suffering extreme social anxiety for 25 years. It's knowing that the person that I fear actually feels the same way as I in life. They might not feel encouraged to show their real self because every entity that reminds them of a human face poses a threat to their life because of their past experiences, but they are going to submit to my sincerity at one point whether they want that or not. If I don't stop providing love for them, then every relationship that I have with another person is going to provide freedom for me at one point. Now I feel passionate about establishing intimacy with other people, because I realized that I don't enjoy being all by myself and isolated from everyone. I realized that I matter, and that the world is only going to be better if it has me interacting with it. If anyone tries to prove that I am not worth anything, then I know that they don't even know what they are talking about. And I also realized that there are kind people with scary faces, and there are malicious people with beautiful faces, so the soul that we are interacting with is only going to become visible to us once we actually interact with it, and if we don't do that, we might be convinced of false information about that person, based on their appearance.
I use to be very quiet and I wouldn't talk to anyone. And I think what helped me was realizing that People don't care about what I do as much as I thought they did. Instead of being so focused on me, they had their own thing going on. Also, if people judge me it doesn't matter, because everyone gets judged no matter who you are and you don't want to please everyone because a lot of people are assholes. so I just be myself.
At least you have your own room, your parents aren't divorced and helping you, you have a clear judgement and mostly healthy, just acknowledge and appreciate that and slowling move on from it.
I don’t like talking to people either, unless they’re regularly in my life. Half the time I’d rather be silent and just sitting with them, rather than talking. Makes for some really weird and interesting relationships though. Sometimes silence says more anyway.
I honestly have to say that from personal experience, it is obviously Social Anxiety, but it is trusting other people to understand you and be there for you, but it is also about self-acceptance and not beating yourself up over being socially distant or uncomfortable in a social situation. I saw one of your earlier videos, and kept thinking to myself the whole time that you would be such a much more relaxed and happy person, if you just had someone there with you to understand you and just have a physical connection. I know that I don't know you personally, and I have only seen a couple (literally) of your videos, and so I'm not really one to be giving you advice, but I myself suffer/live-with anxiety, depression, and social anxiety... and I wouldn't be surprised honestly if I was also schizophrenic. Although I don't experience hallucinations or major delusions, I do exhibit other symptoms such as paranoia, and have a family history of schizophrenia. Despite all else though, I see that you have a lot of self-defeating thoughts, and while again I don't know you, I think that you do have a lot to offer as a person, and believe that you could benefit from just shifting your perception of yourself from being negative, into just being positive about yourself and your situation. As I said before, I myself suffer (it just sounds right) from Social Anxiety, and have 2 close friends whom I hardly ever speak to, because I have my head so far up my own ass about what I'm dealing with psychologically. I think you may have that same problem. I don't mean to be rude or negative, but I think that if you just opened up and let a little weight off your shoulders (with the right people, I understand where you're coming from about not trusting people from past experience), then you probably wouldn't feel so disconnected in general. You don't have to open up to everyone, but even one person can make such a difference in anyone's life. I want to also say that I highly respect you for being on camera, and "talking to yourself". Again, I relate. But I know, as someone with anxiety, that it's f*cking hard to even open up this much. So, thank you for that. Thank you for sharing yourself at all.
You gotta challenge yourself and make goals like everyone else. You cant see that youre stigmatizing yourself more then the symptoms. Just make as much of an effort to rise above by getting outside and just walking for a start
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you are having negative symptoms. My partner is like that. Just had a breakthrough 6 meds later. Hopefully the apathy passes.
Have you ever worked or being employed, what your thoughts about that? I personally just got employed and it keeps me busy and makes me go out of comfort zone and communicate in a way plus I got paid to buy stuff I want. Hope you doing well, wish you all the best, really enjoy watching your videos, please upload more. 💪 👍
Not gonna try help you like everyone else as there’s nothing anyone can do to help. I’ve suffered from social anxiety for 3 years, to be completely honest I’m tired of it and I’ve managed to ignore it in situations. But I can’t help feeling like I’m about to fucking die when I have to speak to a stranger, etc.
Hi Jacob U seem like such an interesting person to get to know and so nice. I love ur videos. U r a very intelligent guy. I know it feels like ur talking to yourself but we really are listening to everything u r saying! We r all ur friends in a different way. Pls keep making videos. ❤💚
It’s a everyday thing bro I missed all the experiences of growing up started social distancing myself when I was 16 and I missed all opportunities girlfriend wise and all experiences w/ my friends that I should’ve been there for. I pushed everyone away just like you dawg, still am I’m tryna get better. Only thing that can help is medicine for this shit. Hope u saw this G reach out if u want I’ll give u my ig. Trust don’t think it’s weird hitting me up, I would too that’s why I say that. Don’t think too much bro try to focus on what’s in front of you.
I get so crazy in the face of people that ive learned to disensitize myself un social situacions and act like anything else but myself as long as people cant see me and smell my fear :( Just confessing not advising. In fact if i had advice for all of us is yo fucking end this nightmare . But in the best of ways
I know getting off them will cause other issues but it's been so long I've been going thru it with u it's always going to suck dude it's to do what u want for yourself
Well I understand your problems a whole lot .me and my son and my sister and brother are alot like u.i dont know if u get disability but u can I know alot of people that get that.u need to since u cant get around people but getting a dog would really help you through ur problems I know bc I cant be around people hardly.at all .dogs are the best and u are not the only one out here and u r loved by me ALWAYS.I WANT AND WILL TALK AND LISTENING TO U WHENEVER .HANG IN THERE.LOVE ALWAYS💙
I’m fortunate to have found a partner that is very good at communicating. I put thoughts into motion, and he somehow understands, and translates these things to others for me. I used to be social, and even worked on the phone for many years. I already had ADHD. I was in a couple of car accidents where I experienced serious concussions. The minor frontal lobe damage apparently triggered personality changes in me. Social anxiety was a big one. Anxiety in general really. Final destination type scenarios playing out in my head. Another thing that began with this damage was migraines with aura. Ive got long term damage from Lyme disease as well. I feel shitty physically, and that makes the mental stuff worse. Vice versa. So I’m about to have my second child, and I’m realizing that I have to force myself outside of my comfort zone for my children. As soon as I am outside in the sun, and fresh air, I realize how important it is. How much my body requires it. I don’t really have a social life, and I’m completely content with this. I have enough of my own drama, and chaos. I’m pleased with my small coven. It’s comfy, and safe. I enjoy interacting with people like this. I would never make videos, but conversations via text are tolerable.
Hey ;; I really hope I’m not out of line here but I wanted to say this . First , despite your valid and difficult struggles , you are definitely amazing for making these videos ;; they do make yours and others that have a hard time making their own voice heard . So thank you . Second , you are definitely not faking ; I get that a lot from myself (as I feel like I’m doing it for attention when I have a bad episode) ; and yes I have schizophrenia too and understand and feel for a lot of what you are saying here . I also get it a lot from doctors which is strange because of the ignorance and stigma surrounded by my illness . That’s why I say doing this is hopefully a good way for you to get out what you need to but also makes me and others feel heard . I have a very hard time also with communication;; my experience I’m sure is not the same as yours but it angers me that I can’t hold a conversation with many people ;; I freak out when people try to get close to me, and I’ve isolated myself for most of my life . I’m not able to be on meds because I have treatment resistant schizophrenia (at least not antipsychotics) but I have little to no motivation to do anything and I absolutely hate going outside and am terrified of doing it . I stay in the room most of the time because it makes me feel safe . I only go out for my partner and for when I do have an appointment. It is hard to deal with and makes you feel bad sometimes ;; I feel bad whenever I do vent in my space and I can’t really tell anyone about it even if they offer to help . Then I feel guilty for not letting them help but I experience really bad Catotania so I go mute and rigid and can’t explain it to others . It’s hard and a struggle and I’m sorry you and others have to deal with it too . But again . Thank you for making these still even though it’s hard on you . I show this to my partner to help her better understand and it’s helped her understand what we go through even if just enough for me to be okay with it so thank you .
Imagine yourself on a deserted island, surrounded by only the sea, no one else but you is there, how would you really feel? Would you be feeling isolated and lonely ? Or Would you want the company of others? To assure you, to make you feel safe and less afraid, people are not that bad to be around maybe
Hey Jacob keep on making these videos, your doing great work giving a voice and face to mental illness, I myself have schizophrenia too and have had it for almost 12 years.. Its not easy but every day is a new day and a new opportunity to get out and face those fears i find walking in the woods with my camera and taking pictures of God's wonderful creation to be relaxing and it gets my mind off my fears and anxiety for a couple hours.. There must be something your good at that can help get your mind off what scares you and causes anxiety, what are your interests ? It could be anything God has blessed all of us with talents and abilities find out what it is and run with it.. I too have a hard time getting outside sometimes but i'll tell ya once i get out there all my problems just fall away my anxiety is gone and everything changes sometimes its just going out for coffee with my friend and laughing and having a good time or going for a long drive and parking by the lake and talking for hours with a friend, don't be afraid to let people in my friend because people will love you for who you are and if they don't who needs them but all you need is one really close friend to confide in.. i'm 33 now and have struggled with this for years but it does get better the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful wife and an amazing family and friends.. Be hopeful my friend it gets better and you are not defined by this illness, just be yourself and be the amazing person that you are, things can only get better God bless you and keep you may he cause his face to shine upon you :)
I just recently came across your videos. My son suffers from the same condition. He thinks exactly likes you. Spends the day in our basement, won't go out of the house, and has no friends. It breaks this moms heart. Your videos helps me to understand he is not alone in this mental illness journey. I hope one day you and my son can get over the fear of people and realize how much you are loved and how many people are here for you and him. Sending you love and hugs and safe thoughts from Colorado
I absolutely know the feeling. Even thinking about connecting with old friends causes anxiety to flare up.
Hey Jacob- I admire you and appreciate your honesty. I've learnt a lot from your channel, and you've found a way to reach people without needing to be 'social'. Keep going man. Thanks
Even a person with no health issues will get scared of people if they are isolated under a long time. That is totally normal. One problem with schizophrenia, bipolar or depression is that the amygdala is oversensitive and that is producing fears for things that are not scary. Try KBT therapy. Make small steps every day to get better by forcing you to do a small thing that makes you uncomfortable. Say walk down and go around your house. THen expand to go around your house two times. Call a friend or relative on skype and expand to do a small step every day. People with a phobia for spiders or any type of phobia is trained and exposed to what they fear.
Buy a brighter light to have in your room. That will give your brain stimulation and tell your brain that you are not in a black cave hiding. It will trick your brain into that you are in a bright place and that you are not hiding for some unknown danger.
I am not a psychologist this is just a laymans suggestion that I have heard psychologists use to help people.
Excellent advice!!
Wow ty for this coment
I sometimes get scared to even like a video, thinking that I've given people something to analyze about me. That's also when I won't answer the phone, terrified of the conversation. For me, luckily, this comes and goes.
Oh man, I’m not schizophrenic but I relate to a lot you’ve said. I went through something like this and it isn’t something I would wish on anyone. Still deal with some of it today. Listen, try not to torture yourself with your thoughts. I’m much better now and I realize that it is OKAY to be asocial. Personally I find my mood and energy is much better on my own. I embrace it. First, don’t waste your energy trying to imagine what other people are thinking. Second, FORGIVENESS. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Please be kind to yourself.
I don't have a single friend either, I've tried, my diagnosis is PTSD. I'm incredibly suspicious of everyone I meet and I like being alone, I have zero social skills and also dealt with a good amount of bullying and people hating me. So it never works to have a friend. Sometimes I wish I could. Even if your videos are you just talking to yourself, I really connect with a lot of what you say.
Hi, if you play videogames or just want to chat, feel free to hit me up. No need for voice coms. Seriously, I'd love to just talk if you'd ever feel like it. Wish you all the best!
Sounds like schizoid personality disorder.
I’ll b ur friend I’m have severe ptsd but I am safe
No matter what, you have connected with a lot of people who watch your videos. I know it's hard. I've had this condition for 4 years. It's definitely changed me. I don't really let anyone get close either. I have friend's & I have had good times with people but it always goes back to me being alone & to be honest I'm just used to that now. This might not be something you'd be into but have a look & see if there are any mental health groups for young people you could attend. The Hearing Voices groups for example. It might be good to try meet people going through what you are and feeling what you do. Wish you all the best bro. Your videos have helped me a lot & I started my own channel on here about a year ago. Best thing I ever did.
Nike Prophet i hope you’re doing well!
The not looking people in the eye thing, I feel you!! Making eye contact is fucking terrifying! Then when I don't look at people I start thinking oh they think I'm shifty or bad or something and it makes it worse! Made me feel a bit better knowing that I'm not the only one!
I and most others know you are not fake. I have schizoaffective disorder and can relate to what you say. With meds I am able to go to work but still have paranoia quite often about what others might think or say about me. I too don’t like being around many people. I try remember it is just the illness that makes me think and feel this way. You really help me in not feeling alone with my illness and give me strength. Love you bro 😊
Wow Suzanne, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder around 8 years ago, I feel exactly the same way as you! However, unfortunately I get jobs but keep leaving them due to thinking what others are thinking of me obsessively. Maybe I need to do a job that's not in a team...
I'm in the same boat, Suzanne. I have schizoaffective disorder and I can never attend groups, let alone social situations or work in general, because of my paranoia around what others will say about me and think about me. I've decided I'm going to try and get myself into social situations to combat that feeling and paranoid thinking.
Ziaul Choudhury You have to remember it is the illness. Ok some people might actually make the odd comment as they are just human. But at the end of the day they are not really malicious with it in reality. I have learnt from being around other people who do not have this illness and observed their behaviours. As I have had the illness now for 27 years I have been on old antipsychotic drugs which allowed me to work as my emotions and thoughts were dulled so they did not really affect me. I tried coming off meds altogether after being on sulpiride for 23 years as the doctor thought that the illness might have gone away. Unfortunately it hasn’t and I soon became really unwell and had to have some time off work. The last 3 years because of advancement with medicines I now take Quetiapine which is a much better drug than sulpiride to help with my delusional thinking and thought processes, except now my emotions are real in the sense that they are not dulled which took some time to get used to and I am still learning now. Think it will be a lifelong process as your body, your circumstances and also medications/therapies change over the years. I find it important that we talk and share our experiences to learn from one another and also to feel less alone when we are finding our illness hard to deal with. I wish you well with your journey. Keep strong always.
Specty Cyborg Yes, I don’t like being around many people either as I am naturally shy and find that I do not always relate to other people well or tolerate them unless they have a diagnosed mental illness and then they are my favourite people! Yes I think it is a good idea about putting yourself out there if you can and maybe build up slowly to mixing with other people. I work in insurance but dream of working for a mental health charity some day as I feel the people there would understand me a lot better or I would feel more comfortable being me. However, where I currently work the people are quite nice and if you explain certain things they are understanding and treat you well.It has a lot to do with your own behaviour towards other people.They will treat you nice if you are pleasant to them. I really hope you are able to find a good support group or job that you like. You are never alone.
I can't go outsite. When i have to go outsite it makes me feel like i'm gonna die or everybody will look at me or something like that. I don't know why. They don't even care about me, but i care about their thought against me. I don't have any friends I'm so shy,terrified,scared talking and it's boring too. But being alone is boring too.I hope you can get through this problem and in future maybe you can make a video about this with title "How to beat being terrified of communication" or something like that :D and help us.
This channel looks like your diary. It's good to you. You can check it out your mind condition. It helps me to learn English also. Thank you for channel and being friend to me.
I hope you feel yourself better soon.
dang this hit close to home very relatable!
I am as terrified as u Jacob.i had jury selecyion this month.and i freaked out in front of everyone.i was so imbarrassed.
Your symptoms are everything I'm experiencing I panic when I leave the house can't look at people to much stimulus its fucking horrible try and stay strong bro your not alone trust me
Thanks for making these videos Jacob. I relate to almost everything you go through and you're a hero to me for posting these videos and being so open and honest about what you go through.
Thank you so much for sharing. I relate all too much, and it's so nice to hear this spoken about. Thank you.
You should write a book to express yourself. In your own thoughts.
I don't think it is possible to stay focused long enough. Someone else would have to ask questions in interview sessions and compile the answers, a lot like the books politicians "write".
i second this idea. writing a book is a great way of reaching out. as is making videos 🤙🏽
Thank you for making that video, It made me feel less lonely. Lately I have lost all my friends so I can understand how you feel and It sucks.I have mental health illness too, I am not schizophrenic but I suffer from depression, anxiety, self harm, and some months ago I tried to OD with my antidepressants. I send you a virtual hug from Italy, stay strong
I use to have horrible social anxiety after i had a hernia surgery in november of 2015. It was to drop one of my testicles down. Before that i had friends and shit. I havent hung out with anybody since like 2017 or later. I dont use medication, ive overcame this by forcing myself to do better little by little. Im still not 100%, but i never have days like i have before. I use to never do eye contact it would feel weird looking someones eyes and only people who have social anxiety would understand that. I use to look at the floor and shit too. Voice would sound really weird and shit. I use to just feel like shit, social anxiety was horrible for 2 years straight. Im 19 now though, it has gotten better. You just got to build up your confidences man. This shit is all in your head, your mind is your enemy. You got to defeat it or atleast minimize it. I know schizophrenia is harder to overcome. But i know you can make it better. You just have to start doing little baby steps to help yourself brother. Itll be hard at first but you got to. Itll make you happy eventually. The main thing is to keep a postive attitude, if you give up on fighting the demoms win. You just have to force yourself into uncomfortable situations.
I relate to you on this in such an extreme way. I have a really hard time connecting with people and being social. It makes it hard to do a lot of things like get a job or have friends. It's almost more torturous being aware of it all. Thanks for making this video. It helps me feel a little less alone.
your doing a pretty good job at communicating your wisdom in a way that helps me and so many other people i really look forward to your posts
In the past people used to get electroshock for our kind of problems, like short circuiting the brain in order for it to 'forget' about certain behaviors and fairs, but it had horrible side effects like paralization and loss of emotion and IQ.
love you man.... i dont have schizophrenia .. i have obsessions of being schizophrenic///general anxiety disorder...panic disorder...persistent postural perceptive vertigo... but listening to you just keep me feel really joy... goodluck to you man..
thank you for sharing! i too have troubles with trusting people, which i think has to do with a combonation of personality awkwardness, plus delusions and paranoia about people. only recently have i started making friends, in my late twenties. its cool that you connect with people via youtube and your other channels. hope to see more videos 🤙🏽
4:40-5:08 i dont know why I do this either, I always find myself wanting to reach out to them and apologize but then I go back to being distant and not very interested in talking to anyone. I hope you can find it in you to be as social as the little boy you used to be, bullying is a pretty traumatic thing to go through,.especially as a kid , but I wish you the best luck in your progress
I feel you in so many levels...
I've been socially isolating myself for most of my life and got no friends at all. although I am happy being alone, I still struggle going outside..to the shops or any crowded places as I get pretty bad panic attacks and end up sitting in nearest public toilet cabin calming myself down.
Good to hear from you Jacob!
I know that feeling very well. People have tried being friends with me but I just can't maintain a friendship. It's very hard for me to communicate as well, I've been told that I'm too emotionless, not caring but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't change it.
Thank you for posting your videos. My son was just diagnosed with schizophrenia and I am trying to learn and understand how this illness affects him. He will not talk to me or anyone in our family - so your videos are helping me gain insight into this illness. Keep up the good work and hope to see more from you. again thank you for putting these videos up - you are really helping others by doing them.
I don't know either man. Most of what you said here I connected with and have very similar social constraints and fears, and I was also bullied as a kid because I was an easy target. Love your videos, keep them coming.
Keep going you have viewers, it’s normal to not want to talk to people it’s not entirely just your disease. I believe you can learn to be social again just keep trying, go outside breath in nature
I have schizoaffective and I also am afraid a lot of the time to even try communicating with people. I only talk to my family (barely) and one friend who is long distance that I met over the internet and haven't ever met in person. In my one friendship, he does almost all the talking, so it kind of works out. But I'm still lonely. I mean I'm grateful to have the one friend, but I long to have friends who are dealing with similar things that I am and can truly relate. For instance it'd be nice to have a friend like you, who understood what it's like to have the negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia. I have very little affect or feelings left after being tormented so much by my voices and the hell of many hospitalizations, so that makes it really hard to understand people anymore. I think I'm more like a person with autism now. Needless to say I have a whole new level of compassion (as much of it as I can feel) for people who are autistic.
I don't know of you read the comments on your videos anymore, but I do hope that if you see this that you know there's someone else (there are lots of us) struggling just like you. It's really difficult to have to go through.
Please also know if you ever feel you need to talk with someone, I'd be happy to listen.
Hope you keep making videos. You have a new subscriber here.
God bless you.
This video just started.but i love the title.cuz jacob.im terrified of communication!!!! I love u Jacob.
I know you’re not faking Jacob. I have been diagnosed schizophrenic by multiple doctors and you have all my symptoms
I like your videos because they’re “raw” and that makes them relatable. Even if you don’t have friends at least you’re not a poser. I have bp1 and have been struggling with having communication with people and starting friendships. I know for a fact the antipsychotics are not helping that aspect of my life and they kind of turn you into a shell of who you are. Communicating is a skill that needs practice. Just keep that in mind when you way the pros and cons of getting outside and talking to people vs your happiness.
welcome back bro. It's good to see a new video from you
Considering all you said, it's real damn impressive how far you've come on youtube! You're very good at comunicating with your audience and expressing yourself
Glad to hear from you.
What you said about these videos hit me. I suffer without communication, it's like I'd fall apart without being involved in other people's lives in any minor way. I used to watch a lot of your videos nearly everyday, and I want you to know that it made me a better person and helped me understand my friends with schizophrenia.
I only speak when it fulfills others, and for once I don't know what to say. I wish I could help in some way, but I'm just text on a screen, and that isn't anything.
Yeah man, forgive your bullies. Call them, message them something. I’m telling you bro. You got this 💪🏽
Wow he cut his hair. I'll miss the long due but he looks good in any hair length. Nice haircut Jacob! The good looks compliment aside Jacob you are never alone. I myself have social anxiety and while it's not as bad as it used to be I''m horrible at communication with other people and me being an introvert doesn't help any because the passion for wanting to talk to others simply just isn't there. Sometimes you can make your best company because a lot of people cannot be trusted anyways but despite that there is plenty of love always heading your way Jacob so the haters can back off while we send you plenty of comments to show you your a normal human being like the rest of us.
Dude, i've been watching your videos for about 3 years or so, i don't have schizophrenia but i think it's interesting for people to know what it's all about, thanks for sharing those amazing videos, i would like to be your friend personally cuz you are such an amazing person, sorry about my english, i'm from Brazil, tks bro, keep rocking :)
I missed your videos cause you bring something to the world in need !
love ur vids man good to see u again
Hi Jacob...admire your channel and sure you inspire many others with it. In my view, being 'social' has a lot to do with confidence and believing what you have to say to others is worth hearing. If you find yourself thinking that what you have to say isn't worth hearing...challenge that belief and tell yourself it is. You can practice this during most social settings when you find yourself feeling anxious or afraid to engage with others. All the best pal.
I wish you well. Prayers and support.
Man I love watching your vids, I know you don’t like pity so I won’t do that, but it pretty epic how even In your circumstances you still makes vids. I have a friend with Tourette’s (I think that’s how you spell it) and even though he has a little difficulty communicating (not to bad) he is a great artist. Just like you. You find a way that’s easier for you to express yourself and that’s awesome!
I find medication never actually fixes anything but makes it "easier" to live.. i guess.
Yo bud, I've been following you for years now. Stay strong. If these videos help you cope, perhaps provide an outlet for you, You Do You. I have no sympathy for you but I do have compassion for your situation. Keep Going. !!!!
I can’t even firm words as well as u. I am so scared too. I’ve been in severe pain for 24 hours. I’ve hit bottom. I’m ok. But my soul is in deep turmoil. Jacob.
hey mate, im from a Australia Iv had schizophrenia for atleast the past 5 years, im 25 atm, I face a lot of fears, and lonliness and guilt and shame etc. but God is with me to get me through the struggle. just want you to know that God has a plan for you in your life. its not over jesus can set you free from yourself, I know that's whats his going to do in my life. may God give you joy. :)
I feel your pain mate I also don't know why I'm so terrified of people anxious depressed and paranoid I'm from the UK and over here the mental health service is shocking I've been on waiting list for therapy for over a year hobbies saved my life playing guitar and fishing etc its not easy bro but with the right support things will improve :)
I was falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia been on meds for 3 years then one day a random nurse suggest I go for a review panel to get de certified. So I did just that because I had no symptoms of schizophrenia there was 3 psychiatrists and a nurse going against me they went on in great detail why I should remain a pill popper but I waited quietly and then got my chance to fight for myself and needless to say I can say with confidence I am proudly a voluntary patient and recently reduced my meds until I am off of them entirely. So I feel much better overall and becoming more alive to say the least horrible things these medications are.
@@Conniebunny drug induced psychosis
Jacob, hi! I appreciate you taking the time and effort to share your thoughts and experiences. As a long-time follower of your personal journey, I'd like you to know that even if it's only a one-way communication on youtube, there are people like myself who genuinely would like to know how you're doing and what you're up to. I usually have a hard time engaging in what is considered by many as 'positive' social interactions but I've had the luxury to make myself believe that I am a self-reliant and individualistic person deep down -which on some many levels is just make-believe. Developing social bonding skills is also similar to how our muscles work, I guess. Recovering from even short-term detachment from the outside world takes some readjusting for many people so don't be too hard on yrself. Finding friendship can be hard but I think the world outside is usually not as hostile as we may sometimes tend to believe. Best wishes and love from Turkey.
i dont think i have schizophrenia but ive always felt this way and it runs in the women in my family. i have those same wishes but when u push through it.. it ends up not being what you thought. hope u find your resolution, ive ended up just accepting it if im around people too long i itch to be alone. sometimes reading old literature makes me feel more connected with humanity.
It's one of those things, were I can relate that being Reclusive is such a beautiful comfortable thing, I totally value and understand without Parents I'd be screwed, but having relationships is very important and meaningful. But theirs something so beautiful about being Reclusive makes me feel lazy and addicted and protected from Society. Anyone relate? It's great to have Hobbies, People without Hobbies are dead in my eyes. But life goes by so fast that's the worst reality as well as Un predictable health.
I'm scared of people, too, i'm afraid that they could hurt me in some way and they do hurt, so my best way of dealing with them is avoiding. Sometimes i try sociolizing with friends, but understand that it's scary and painful in some way, so i gave up and quited this kind of activity. I don't understand why, probably like you said it's because of our illness. Good luck to you, Jacob)
I think your simply amazing :)
I appreciate you and I wish I could be your friend. I was bullied a lot too . I just feel like everything your saying I can relate too .
I just started watching you! I should probably start from the beginning of your vlog.
Thanks a lot, keep on doing these videos.
There should be no fear of communication this is not normal whatsoever..........a person has to be able to communicate.............
Hi Jacob,
You are really brave, and motivate a lot of people.
My family is filled with mental mental disorders like schizophrenia without getting to personal.
Not to long ago I come upon the work of Abram Hoffer and Linus Pauling.
They have discovered that high doses of Vitamin B3 (Niacin) can heal schizophrenia as well as other disorders.
You have probably read a lot of information already, however I hope you at least take a look at some of the stuff they have written.
My family member started taking Vitamin B3 just a few weeks ago and says it is amazing. All the benefits that the Abram Hoffer and Linus Pauling writes about are evident.
Here's what made it possible for me to love people and to wish to interact with them, after I had been suffering extreme social anxiety for 25 years. It's knowing that the person that I fear actually feels the same way as I in life. They might not feel encouraged to show their real self because every entity that reminds them of a human face poses a threat to their life because of their past experiences, but they are going to submit to my sincerity at one point whether they want that or not. If I don't stop providing love for them, then every relationship that I have with another person is going to provide freedom for me at one point. Now I feel passionate about establishing intimacy with other people, because I realized that I don't enjoy being all by myself and isolated from everyone. I realized that I matter, and that the world is only going to be better if it has me interacting with it. If anyone tries to prove that I am not worth anything, then I know that they don't even know what they are talking about. And I also realized that there are kind people with scary faces, and there are malicious people with beautiful faces, so the soul that we are interacting with is only going to become visible to us once we actually interact with it, and if we don't do that, we might be convinced of false information about that person, based on their appearance.
I use to be very quiet and I wouldn't talk to anyone. And I think what helped me was realizing that People don't care about what I do as much as I thought they did. Instead of being so focused on me, they had their own thing going on. Also, if people judge me it doesn't matter, because everyone gets judged no matter who you are and you don't want to please everyone because a lot of people are assholes. so I just be myself.
You're strong man!
At least you have your own room, your parents aren't divorced and helping you, you have a clear judgement and mostly healthy, just acknowledge and appreciate that and slowling move on from it.
I’m terrified to Jacob. I’m so comforted by ur videos. Can u make some more???thank you.
Keep at it bro 🤙🏼
I suffered halucynations and due to therapy i suffer no more.
I deal with the same. However, I’ve reached internal peace. I won’t be here for much longer, so it doesn’t matter.
I don’t like talking to people either, unless they’re regularly in my life. Half the time I’d rather be silent and just sitting with them, rather than talking. Makes for some really weird and interesting relationships though. Sometimes silence says more anyway.
sunglasses can help that eye contact thingy
I honestly have to say that from personal experience, it is obviously Social Anxiety, but it is trusting other people to understand you and be there for you, but it is also about self-acceptance and not beating yourself up over being socially distant or uncomfortable in a social situation. I saw one of your earlier videos, and kept thinking to myself the whole time that you would be such a much more relaxed and happy person, if you just had someone there with you to understand you and just have a physical connection.
I know that I don't know you personally, and I have only seen a couple (literally) of your videos, and so I'm not really one to be giving you advice, but I myself suffer/live-with anxiety, depression, and social anxiety... and I wouldn't be surprised honestly if I was also schizophrenic. Although I don't experience hallucinations or major delusions, I do exhibit other symptoms such as paranoia, and have a family history of schizophrenia.
Despite all else though, I see that you have a lot of self-defeating thoughts, and while again I don't know you, I think that you do have a lot to offer as a person, and believe that you could benefit from just shifting your perception of yourself from being negative, into just being positive about yourself and your situation.
As I said before, I myself suffer (it just sounds right) from Social Anxiety, and have 2 close friends whom I hardly ever speak to, because I have my head so far up my own ass about what I'm dealing with psychologically. I think you may have that same problem. I don't mean to be rude or negative, but I think that if you just opened up and let a little weight off your shoulders (with the right people, I understand where you're coming from about not trusting people from past experience), then you probably wouldn't feel so disconnected in general.
You don't have to open up to everyone, but even one person can make such a difference in anyone's life.
I want to also say that I highly respect you for being on camera, and "talking to yourself". Again, I relate. But I know, as someone with anxiety, that it's f*cking hard to even open up this much.
So, thank you for that.
Thank you for sharing yourself at all.
Keep it up man 🔥
You gotta challenge yourself and make goals like everyone else. You cant see that youre stigmatizing yourself more then the symptoms. Just make as much of an effort to rise above by getting outside and just walking for a start
I feel your pain Jacob though I had many friends up until I was 24 I never felt comfortable around them
Nobody knows what goes on on inside our heads expect ourselves bro I'm at work rn it's not easy but I just smile
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like you are having negative symptoms. My partner is like that. Just had a breakthrough 6 meds later. Hopefully the apathy passes.
ah man totally hop back on that twitch! streaming is a beautiful thing
Have you ever worked or being employed, what your thoughts about that? I personally just got employed and it keeps me busy and makes me go out of comfort zone and communicate in a way plus I got paid to buy stuff I want. Hope you doing well, wish you all the best, really enjoy watching your videos, please upload more. 💪 👍
Not gonna try help you like everyone else as there’s nothing anyone can do to help. I’ve suffered from social anxiety for 3 years, to be completely honest I’m tired of it and I’ve managed to ignore it in situations.
But I can’t help feeling like I’m about to fucking die when I have to speak to a stranger, etc.
Your loved man you really are don't listen to the haters.
Hi Jacob
U seem like such an interesting person to get to know and so nice. I love ur videos. U r a very intelligent guy. I know it feels like ur talking to yourself but we really are listening to everything u r saying! We r all ur friends in a different way. Pls keep making videos. ❤💚
Yeah I CAN ONLY STAND BEING AROUND PEOPLE FOR ABOUT 2 Or 3 HOUR'S AT A TIME. I've Got AUTISM and SEVERE SOCIAL ANXIETY, and SEVERE ANXIETY Too.
Stay strong peace n love
It’s a everyday thing bro I missed all the experiences of growing up started social distancing myself when I was 16 and I missed all opportunities girlfriend wise and all experiences w/ my friends that I should’ve been there for. I pushed everyone away just like you dawg, still am I’m tryna get better. Only thing that can help is medicine for this shit. Hope u saw this G reach out if u want I’ll give u my ig. Trust don’t think it’s weird hitting me up, I would too that’s why I say that. Don’t think too much bro try to focus on what’s in front of you.
“Live like it’s the style.” - Company of Thieves
I get so crazy in the face of people that ive learned to disensitize myself un social situacions and act like anything else but myself as long as people cant see me and smell my fear :( Just confessing not advising. In fact if i had advice for all of us is yo fucking end this nightmare . But in the best of ways
I know getting off them will cause other issues but it's been so long I've been going thru it with u it's always going to suck dude it's to do what u want for yourself
Well I understand your problems a whole lot .me and my son and my sister and brother are alot like u.i dont know if u get disability but u can I know alot of people that get that.u need to since u cant get around people but getting a dog would really help you through ur problems I know bc I cant be around people hardly.at all .dogs are the best and u are not the only one out here and u r loved by me ALWAYS.I WANT AND WILL TALK AND LISTENING TO U WHENEVER .HANG IN THERE.LOVE ALWAYS💙
I’m fortunate to have found a partner that is very good at communicating. I put thoughts into motion, and he somehow understands, and translates these things to others for me. I used to be social, and even worked on the phone for many years. I already had ADHD. I was in a couple of car accidents where I experienced serious concussions. The minor frontal lobe damage apparently triggered personality changes in me. Social anxiety was a big one. Anxiety in general really. Final destination type scenarios playing out in my head. Another thing that began with this damage was migraines with aura. Ive got long term damage from Lyme disease as well. I feel shitty physically, and that makes the mental stuff worse. Vice versa. So I’m about to have my second child, and I’m realizing that I have to force myself outside of my comfort zone for my children. As soon as I am outside in the sun, and fresh air, I realize how important it is. How much my body requires it. I don’t really have a social life, and I’m completely content with this. I have enough of my own drama, and chaos. I’m pleased with my small coven. It’s comfy, and safe. I enjoy interacting with people like this. I would never make videos, but conversations via text are tolerable.
Hey ;; I really hope I’m not out of line here but I wanted to say this .
First , despite your valid and difficult struggles , you are definitely amazing for making these videos ;; they do make yours and others that have a hard time making their own voice heard . So thank you .
Second , you are definitely not faking ; I get that a lot from myself (as I feel like I’m doing it for attention when I have a bad episode) ; and yes I have schizophrenia too and understand and feel for a lot of what you are saying here .
I also get it a lot from doctors which is strange because of the ignorance and stigma surrounded by my illness . That’s why I say doing this is hopefully a good way for you to get out what you need to but also makes me and others feel heard .
I have a very hard time also with communication;; my experience I’m sure is not the same as yours but it angers me that I can’t hold a conversation with many people ;; I freak out when people try to get close to me, and I’ve isolated myself for most of my life .
I’m not able to be on meds because I have treatment resistant schizophrenia (at least not antipsychotics) but I have little to no motivation to do anything and I absolutely hate going outside and am terrified of doing it . I stay in the room most of the time because it makes me feel safe . I only go out for my partner and for when I do have an appointment.
It is hard to deal with and makes you feel bad sometimes ;; I feel bad whenever I do vent in my space and I can’t really tell anyone about it even if they offer to help . Then I feel guilty for not letting them help but I experience really bad Catotania so I go mute and rigid and can’t explain it to others .
It’s hard and a struggle and I’m sorry you and others have to deal with it too .
But again . Thank you for making these still even though it’s hard on you . I show this to my partner to help her better understand and it’s helped her understand what we go through even if just enough for me to be okay with it so thank you .
Stay strong Jacob
People are scary I agree!
Hi Jacob! I don't pity you. As a high-functioning Schizophrenic myself I find you strong and patient.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! You are loved and appreciated dont forget!
Imagine yourself on a deserted island, surrounded by only the sea, no one else but you is there, how would you really feel? Would you be feeling isolated and lonely ? Or Would you want the company of others? To assure you, to make you feel safe and less afraid, people are not that bad to be around maybe
I'm the same way!
I hope things get better for you
Hey Jacob keep on making these videos, your doing great work giving a voice and face to mental illness, I myself have schizophrenia too and have had it for almost 12 years.. Its not easy but every day is a new day and a new opportunity to get out and face those fears i find walking in the woods with my camera and taking pictures of God's wonderful creation to be relaxing and it gets my mind off my fears and anxiety for a couple hours.. There must be something your good at that can help get your mind off what scares you and causes anxiety, what are your interests ? It could be anything God has blessed all of us with talents and abilities find out what it is and run with it.. I too have a hard time getting outside sometimes but i'll tell ya once i get out there all my problems just fall away my anxiety is gone and everything changes sometimes its just going out for coffee with my friend and laughing and having a good time or going for a long drive and parking by the lake and talking for hours with a friend, don't be afraid to let people in my friend because people will love you for who you are and if they don't who needs them but all you need is one really close friend to confide in.. i'm 33 now and have struggled with this for years but it does get better the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful wife and an amazing family and friends.. Be hopeful my friend it gets better and you are not defined by this illness, just be yourself and be the amazing person that you are, things can only get better God bless you and keep you may he cause his face to shine upon you :)