I don't have the capacity for a proper, unique, worthy comment today but thank you for posting these videos, and for leaving the footage of your cat in at the end.
Any comment left on one of my videos letting me know someone out there actually finds them useful or entertaining, and I’m not alone in my problems, is as much of a proper, unique and worthy comment as any other in my eyes! Thank you for commenting 💕
What you described in the beginning, this depersonalization is more like, idk is describe it as an autopilot shutdown. It’s like you describe it but it’s not a full depersonalization episode. I have been on autopilot for the last few years and only now woke up. 🥲 It’s like I just function. I deal with stress and stuff. But like I’m numb. I don’t taste food, I don’t feel in my fingers I just work. And now I woke up and have a massive burn out, feel like dying every day.
Thank you for sharing this. I relate completely to everything. Six years ago two friends dared me to look into teaching because when it comes to random useless facts I'm like Mary f*çking Poppin's purse. All I can say is it's been one hell of a bumpy ride and a ton of fun at times when I can nerd out on my interests with kids. At the same time my mask/ my outward personality crumbled at the seams. Ten years ago my therapist asked me if I had ever thought about possibly being autistic. At the time I thought she was bonkers because I didn't really know anything. Then last year my boss asked me if I was autistic after a meltdown at school. Needless to say it wasn't my first and I am grateful to have the boss I do. So, I went down that rabbit hole and what an Ah-hah Holy F-ing Sh*t journey this has been! What I want to say is that I'm grateful to hear your story and feel a little less isolated feeling and experiencing the world the way I do, and I wish more people could hear how all sorts of autistic people experience life.
For me what sucks is the shame we have been taught about meltdowns through rejection and punishment. That was done to us, it’s not our fault. But it’s almost impossible to convince ourselves of this. Let’s help each other. Meltdowns and shutdowns are a part of us. They happen. They are neither good or bad, they just are. They can be tiring and disruptive, so is getting the flu. Do what your body needs to recover. Cats definitely help a lot!! My wonderful Zig let’s me put my forehead against her side as she purrs. It is so soothing.
I’m definitely the type to be mad at myself for getting the flu haha, I agree it’s the shame that really sucks though, especially when I know I wouldn’t judge someone else for having meltdowns like I do myself. I’ve been putting in effort lately to speak to myself like I would a friend and find it somewhat useful, I’d definitely never be as blunt or judgemental to a friend as I am myself! I find it difficult to accept a lot of the parts of being autistic that are just part of us, that aren’t accepted or really seen in wider society, and having people like yourself comment with similar experiences is definitely helping to shift my view to see a lot of my traits as more ‘normal’, or at least ‘not a bad thing’, so thank you for commenting! Cat purrs are definitely up there with my favourite audio stims! There’s so many times I really don’t know how I’d cope without my cats, I’m glad you have a loving fluffy companion too, and Zig is a great name!
I'm so sorry you're really struggling Dana, its really fucking shit isn't it 😒 being autistic is exhausting and cripplingly hard to bear at times. I suppress meltdowns too but that always bites me in the arse. I'm glad you have this space to share and vent. Sending hugs 🤗
Thank you for leaving such kind comments Solene, they really do mean a lot, this space would be nothing without people like you! You’re definitely right it’s hard to bear at times, but so comforting and validating to know I’m not alone in it and there’s people like yourself who really understand 💕
Thanks for talking about this 🤍 it's crazy how ashamed we can be of something that is completely outside of our control. I tend to have a meltdown every three or four months in average, so I recently started to think of them as getting a very bad virus to help myself feel more neutral about it and take the rest I need. I also find that the more negative thoughts I have towards my meltdown the longer it will last. It's a work in progress... Hopefully one day we'll be able to have a meltdown without any feelings of being childish or stupid. I also relate to the post-meltdown cleaning spree, but honestly I think I just need it to clear my mind
I am so sorry. I can feel the depth of exhaustion. Now that you are an adult, and seems like before being an adult, you are working through issues. I have tried so hard to provide a supportive environment in my home without being judgemental. I try to help and offer solutions or options for coping with an offer to make a cup of tea.
It’s surprising just how many things a cup of tea can fix! A little support and a hot drink can go a very long way, I’m sure you’re providing the best environment possible in your home! 💕
I’m always too nervous to comment for no reason but for the record, I I relate to like everything you say and your videos often get me through the day when I feel like crap so thank you 💜 when I’m leading up to a meltdown it feels like I have static in my head and I’m irritable and can’t focus, and then it often has either a self-harm outburst or whimpering/crying while I try not to hit stuff. I always hate myself after but I’ve gotten better about knowing the INTENSE emotions tend to pass within 15 minutes, and then I’m just exhausted for days. Oh and separately I also love the show Hannibal and I’m glad someone else has the cannibal special interest lmao
Don’t worry about it, I get too nervous to comment a lot of the time too, even when I’m replying to comments on my own videos! I’m glad you have commented though, and thank you for sharing your experience! I feel like so much of being autistic is figuring ourselves out so we can be like ‘okay, this sucks but it’ll be better in 15 mins’, but it’s so difficult to learn that stuff while surrounded by the expectation to be neurotypical, so well done on figuring that out! Yeeesssss I’m so happy so many of us share this special interest haha, I really thought that one was gonna just be me 😂
@@DanaAndersen only took me about 40 videos to comment so that’s a start 😅 and right 15 minutes will make me realize the world isn’t going to end just because the package that was supposed to be delivered today isn’t being delivered and completely changed my plans (this is today lol.) It’s weird but I also started making myself yell at myself “calm down it’s probably fine!” when I’m REALLY freaking out, and it helps force that thought into my head past the static, if that makes sense. Then I can try to focus on that and stim until it gets better. With Hannibal, I only know one other autistic person (the one who made me realize I was autistic a year ago because we were basically the same person), and they also are obsessed with it so there’s some really niche research study that needs to be done lmao
As I've become more aware of autistic traits and manifestations in my own life I can usually tell when I'm becoming overwhelmed. I've learned which triggers and situations will likely cause me to unravel. Not 100%, but much better than how I was when I was younger. When I would repress and attempt to ignore the cataclysm welling up inside me. I think that as social awareness and acceptance grows, that meltdowns will be seen for what they are an emotional overload that results in something like the tripping of a circuit breaker. Just as when an electric circuit becomes overloaded and the breaker interrupts the flow of electricity to prevent damage. It maybe a poor analogy, but I hope that as lately emergent understanding increases, people will appreciate that meltdowns are not some childish tantrum or a potentially threatening situation. Only that we have exceeded our limits and need to step back and re-center ourselves, to allow for the needed time and quiet space to self regulate. For me that means giving permission to let myself wind down, breathe deeply and focus... letting my mind, body and emotional state restore their balance, and I regain my composure. Not levying an internal edict of "just stop it", or denying my own distress. It also means allowing myself a quick exit when I'm in surroundings that might lead to feeling ashamed or embarrassed if I stuck around and tried (and failed) to repress the meltdown. Because it hasn't worked (for me) and only fuels the conflagration when I inevitably explode. Better to leave abruptly and be seen as rude, than to have a full blown meltdown witnessed by everyone. It's hard enough being completely drained, exposed and vulnerable, without also having to explain and apologize for what may appear as completely irrational and out of control. Knowing that it is actually quite understandable and even predictable, but feeling unable to disclose that it's because I'm autistic. Especially considering I haven't a formal diagnosis. I do wish I had been aware when my children were young and had to endure my all too frequent meltdowns. One of my biggest triggers is when I have my routine disrupted, after I have already determined the course and objectives for my day. So when that simple and straightforward plan gets derailed, I lose my bearings and I'm liable to implode. I've been able to accommodate myself somewhat, by asking for "fair warning" if someone wants something ...to please let me know well in advance. There are some situations that demand immediate action, but being mindful of my nature I can employ rational thinking to my benefit. And offer a mental note, reminding myself that I can allow for time to regroup after I've done whatever needed. Like a "mental health day" of low stress following a taxing day, or rewarding myself with positive affirmations for expectations (of others) well met. Realizing that my inner dialog needn't always be one of rebuke, but also of reflection and kindness. I'm learning.
Knowing you're autistic but not being able to disclose it because of not being diagnosed gets so frustrating. I'm in this situation too. I often get around it by explaining what is going on rather than how it's called, but when a shutdown or meltdown is pointing its nose I really don't have the ressources to go through so many hoops just to avoid the whole "self-diagnosis" discussion. I hope that someday people will be more educated and understanding of those situations.
Thank you for commenting David, your comments always have such wisdom and it’s great to read about your experiences and perspective! I realised a little while ago one of my biggest autistic traits is ‘lack of social imagination’, and your points about having an inner dialog that’s kind, and not deploying the ‘just stop it’ technique I’m far too familiar with myself really resonate with me and have given me better ideas on how to cope with my meltdowns! It’s tricky being undiagnosed, I’m very of the opinion that we usually know when we’re autistic and you should be able to tell people you are without a diagnosis or needing to explain yourself, but I also spent over 4 years being sure I was autistic but not saying anything due to not being diagnosed, so I understand where you are with that, though unfortunately having nothing helpful to say beyond that I think it’s just as valid and okay for you (and anyone else self diagnosed) to say you’re autistic as it is for me with a diagnosis 💕
💚 felt this hard- my esa can’t come on campus bc of overcrowding and it was so validating to hear you explain how much that helps. I have a hard time vocalizing my feelings in a legible way and many times, you seem to have the words behind my feelings (for a lot of topics not just the cats lol) Thank you thank you thank you and hope you recover as speedy as possible
I know how hard it can be, but if you’re able to I’d recommend kicking up a bit of a fuss about that! You deserve to have whatever you need, overcrowding or no overcrowding! I’m glad you seem to think I’m actually vocalising things in a legible way, sometimes I wonder if I’m just saying words without actually saying anything 😅 Thank you for commenting, it really means a lot to know I’m not the only one, though it does then totally suck that other people are stuck feeling the same way sometimes! I hope you’re able to get what you need and deserve on campus soon 💕
Sending you love and light 🤍 Thank you for sharing your experiences. I was looking into videos to help me help the kiddo I work with- but after coming across your videos, I find them more educating than almost all of the seminars I have come across. It helps those of us who care for people with autism to see things from their point of view.
This comment has made me so happy, thank you so much! I’ve come across so many people trained to work with autistic people, who are just woefully undereducated through no fault of their own. It’s lovely to see someone going out of their way to learn more to support autistic kids 😭💕
Your videos really help me. My meltdowns always happen in front of my family. So that’s rather embarrassing. I’m working my way through all of your videos. You’re really good at showing how you feel about things. For some reason, I can relate to a lot of what you say and again, you’re really helpful. And I like your cats. Thank you.
Things I use for non-self-harm but *intense* stims during - and for preventing - meltdown: foam roller/peanut ball for deeper pressure, accupressure mat, roll spiky little accupressure balls in my hands, scream into a pillow or in my car, loud music, ask my partner to lie on my back, etc.
Thank you for sharing. I am in this sort of space too at the moment and I am alone (apart from my lovely cats too💕) and it has helped me to sit with you. I hope we both feel so much better very soon. Thank you Dana, I appreciate you so much 🙏💖
Thank you for sharing too! Artemis always seems to find the words for what I want to say better than I do, but I’ll echo that in spirit we’re not alone, and it really helps and means a lot to know that for me, even though it also sucks to know you’re in the same place knowing how crap it is 😂💕 I hope things get much better for both of us soon, thank you so much for being here and commenting 😭💕💕
I found your channel like two weeks ago and I just wanted to pop in and say I appreciate your realness and bluntness in all of your videos, but especially this one (which must have been pretty mentally taxing/emotionally loaded to make). It’s honestly really refreshing to hear someone else talk just like, openly and honestly about their experience, especially at the times that make you truly wish for nothing more than to NOT be autistic, without feeling the need to idk. Sugarcoat it or take the edge off in someway, especially when it causes enough stress that it really does feel like the end of the world, even when logic brain knows that it’s not. I’ve recently discovered I’m probably autistic and got completly missed because a lot of my traits are very internalized and not problematic to others, but I heavily relate to a lot of what you’ve mentioned in your experience, and idk. Its nice to feel validated especially when I feel like everyone else’s perception of me is just “well you don’t look autistic” or, “clearly you’ve made it this far in life so it can’t be THAT debillitating”. Hope you’re feeling better now,,,,
@2:27 your talking about what I label as disassociation. This is a crossover symptom that people with ptsd also experience. That’s very interesting. I having c-ptsd totally relate to that. I’ve not watched the whole video so my comment is purely on that specific part of the video. It is exhausting to go through for me, and it does take a lot of recovery.
Thank you so much for this!! I’m sorry you’re going through this it cam fell very lonely but please know you’re not alone!! I love that you know and can reassure yourself that this will pass and better days will come. That’s amazing!! Please keep sharing this is gold for us who are just coming in to knowing and recognizing the multilayered spectrum. As a parent thank you!!
Thank you thank you thank you!!! Its really hard for me to accept sometimes that im autistic, but its stuff like this where I relate so much and it hits me plain as day; I really am autistic. (I just flashed back to a massive meltdown in college a few years ago) I also just realized ive been running on red because ive been doing the same thing where i turn it into something else without realizing it.
I just figured out yesterday that I probably had/have meltdowns and never realized it before. Was a weird feeling recognizing the symptoms and thinking "wait I know that, thats not something everyone has sometimes?" Was a really awful experience, but maybe I won't have them again (probably will). And anyways I'm also not autistic (ADHD, late diagnosed), so I don't know if I can even have meltdowns.
I was going to say the same as Artemis, though probably not so well 😂 There’s such a huge cross over of autism and ADHD, I do personally think they’re probably the same thing, but different people can have such vastly different traits and experiences they’re yet to be seen as such. Figuring out and accepting being autistic can be a LOT, but if you’ve experienced meltdowns I’d say it’s at least worth looking for ways to cope with and help them, even if you’re not autistic. No point making life harder than you need to just because you don’t have a diagnosis of something!
@@artemisXsidecross Thats crazy, I knew there was some overlap, but such a huge percentage is wild. Definitely something I will look more into, thanks for the information 😄
1:19 you can start finding alternative methods of life, so you do never even get close to go through that which builds up tension. It can be self- imposed, something your mind tells you it's not right to stop doing.... but your body knows better. If you do lack control of whatever comes next because of not following the wrong actions... plot ahead.
I 100% related to all of this! I am 46, not diagnosed yet, but will be seeking a diagnosis. Thank you for being another person to share so much with the world. It truly helps!! ❤
It is interesting you say childish. My dad's nickname for me is Peter Pan. I only found this out last year during my autism assessment process. The fact that I am childish is probably the reason I never had any relationships with people. Never had a girlfriend. Haven't had a friend in over 20 years. I have given up trying to find someone to share my life with. Who wants to be in a mother to a child relationship who isn't their mother and not their own child? No one. So I have given up. I hate being autistic. I think it is a curse. Why was I cursed with autism? Cleaning: I am so depressed that I can literally go years without cleaning. I don't see the point of it when you live alone and no one ever visits you. I got now home support. Someone visits me mostly once a week and they are helping me. Sorting things out, throwing out stuff I don't use, helping me clean my flat, encouraging me. My living room curtains are clean for the first time in 8 years. I couldn't get up there to take them down to wash them. The only reason I have sought out help is I didn't want to get evicted for not keeping my flat clean and tidy. I don't know if her remit is to help me clean my flat but she has and has driven me to the doctors and taken stuff to charity shops. I am so grateful for her help but I also feel ashamed that I had to seek out help. I shouldn't feel ashamed but I do. I think I prefer pets to people. I have a dog. I call her Cally. She is nearly 8 years old. A border collie Labrador cross. If it wasn't for my dog I would never leave my flat except for doctor appointments and shopping.
I don't have the capacity for a proper, unique, worthy comment today but thank you for posting these videos, and for leaving the footage of your cat in at the end.
Any comment left on one of my videos letting me know someone out there actually finds them useful or entertaining, and I’m not alone in my problems, is as much of a proper, unique and worthy comment as any other in my eyes! Thank you for commenting 💕
What you described in the beginning, this depersonalization is more like, idk is describe it as an autopilot shutdown. It’s like you describe it but it’s not a full depersonalization episode. I have been on autopilot for the last few years and only now woke up. 🥲
It’s like I just function. I deal with stress and stuff. But like I’m numb. I don’t taste food, I don’t feel in my fingers I just work. And now I woke up and have a massive burn out, feel like dying every day.
You’re not alone, you’re just like me. It really sucks. Wishing you all the best
Thank you for sharing this. I relate completely to everything. Six years ago two friends dared me to look into teaching because when it comes to random useless facts I'm like Mary f*çking Poppin's purse. All I can say is it's been one hell of a bumpy ride and a ton of fun at times when I can nerd out on my interests with kids. At the same time my mask/ my outward personality crumbled at the seams. Ten years ago my therapist asked me if I had ever thought about possibly being autistic. At the time I thought she was bonkers because I didn't really know anything. Then last year my boss asked me if I was autistic after a meltdown at school. Needless to say it wasn't my first and I am grateful to have the boss I do. So, I went down that rabbit hole and what an Ah-hah Holy F-ing Sh*t journey this has been! What I want to say is that I'm grateful to hear your story and feel a little less isolated feeling and experiencing the world the way I do, and I wish more people could hear how all sorts of autistic people experience life.
For me what sucks is the shame we have been taught about meltdowns through rejection and punishment. That was done to us, it’s not our fault. But it’s almost impossible to convince ourselves of this. Let’s help each other.
Meltdowns and shutdowns are a part of us. They happen. They are neither good or bad, they just are. They can be tiring and disruptive, so is getting the flu. Do what your body needs to recover.
Cats definitely help a lot!! My wonderful Zig let’s me put my forehead against her side as she purrs. It is so soothing.
I’m definitely the type to be mad at myself for getting the flu haha, I agree it’s the shame that really sucks though, especially when I know I wouldn’t judge someone else for having meltdowns like I do myself.
I’ve been putting in effort lately to speak to myself like I would a friend and find it somewhat useful, I’d definitely never be as blunt or judgemental to a friend as I am myself!
I find it difficult to accept a lot of the parts of being autistic that are just part of us, that aren’t accepted or really seen in wider society, and having people like yourself comment with similar experiences is definitely helping to shift my view to see a lot of my traits as more ‘normal’, or at least ‘not a bad thing’, so thank you for commenting!
Cat purrs are definitely up there with my favourite audio stims! There’s so many times I really don’t know how I’d cope without my cats, I’m glad you have a loving fluffy companion too, and Zig is a great name!
I'm so sorry you're really struggling Dana, its really fucking shit isn't it 😒 being autistic is exhausting and cripplingly hard to bear at times. I suppress meltdowns too but that always bites me in the arse. I'm glad you have this space to share and vent. Sending hugs 🤗
Thank you for leaving such kind comments Solene, they really do mean a lot, this space would be nothing without people like you!
You’re definitely right it’s hard to bear at times, but so comforting and validating to know I’m not alone in it and there’s people like yourself who really understand 💕
Thanks for talking about this 🤍 it's crazy how ashamed we can be of something that is completely outside of our control. I tend to have a meltdown every three or four months in average, so I recently started to think of them as getting a very bad virus to help myself feel more neutral about it and take the rest I need. I also find that the more negative thoughts I have towards my meltdown the longer it will last. It's a work in progress... Hopefully one day we'll be able to have a meltdown without any feelings of being childish or stupid.
I also relate to the post-meltdown cleaning spree, but honestly I think I just need it to clear my mind
I am so sorry. I can feel the depth of exhaustion. Now that you are an adult, and seems like before being an adult, you are working through issues. I have tried so hard to provide a supportive environment in my home without being judgemental. I try to help and offer solutions or options for coping with an offer to make a cup of tea.
It’s surprising just how many things a cup of tea can fix! A little support and a hot drink can go a very long way, I’m sure you’re providing the best environment possible in your home! 💕
I’m always too nervous to comment for no reason but for the record, I I relate to like everything you say and your videos often get me through the day when I feel like crap so thank you 💜 when I’m leading up to a meltdown it feels like I have static in my head and I’m irritable and can’t focus, and then it often has either a self-harm outburst or whimpering/crying while I try not to hit stuff. I always hate myself after but I’ve gotten better about knowing the INTENSE emotions tend to pass within 15 minutes, and then I’m just exhausted for days. Oh and separately I also love the show Hannibal and I’m glad someone else has the cannibal special interest lmao
Don’t worry about it, I get too nervous to comment a lot of the time too, even when I’m replying to comments on my own videos! I’m glad you have commented though, and thank you for sharing your experience!
I feel like so much of being autistic is figuring ourselves out so we can be like ‘okay, this sucks but it’ll be better in 15 mins’, but it’s so difficult to learn that stuff while surrounded by the expectation to be neurotypical, so well done on figuring that out!
Yeeesssss I’m so happy so many of us share this special interest haha, I really thought that one was gonna just be me 😂
@@DanaAndersen only took me about 40 videos to comment so that’s a start 😅 and right 15 minutes will make me realize the world isn’t going to end just because the package that was supposed to be delivered today isn’t being delivered and completely changed my plans (this is today lol.) It’s weird but I also started making myself yell at myself “calm down it’s probably fine!” when I’m REALLY freaking out, and it helps force that thought into my head past the static, if that makes sense. Then I can try to focus on that and stim until it gets better. With Hannibal, I only know one other autistic person (the one who made me realize I was autistic a year ago because we were basically the same person), and they also are obsessed with it so there’s some really niche research study that needs to be done lmao
As I've become more aware of autistic traits and manifestations in my own life I can usually tell when I'm becoming overwhelmed. I've learned which triggers and situations will likely cause me to unravel. Not 100%, but much better than how I was when I was younger. When I would repress and attempt to ignore the cataclysm welling up inside me. I think that as social awareness and acceptance grows, that meltdowns will be seen for what they are an emotional overload that results in something like the tripping of a circuit breaker. Just as when an electric circuit becomes overloaded and the breaker interrupts the flow of electricity to prevent damage.
It maybe a poor analogy, but I hope that as lately emergent understanding increases, people will appreciate that meltdowns are not some childish tantrum or a potentially threatening situation. Only that we have exceeded our limits and need to step back and re-center ourselves, to allow for the needed time and quiet space to self regulate.
For me that means giving permission to let myself wind down, breathe deeply and focus... letting my mind, body and emotional state restore their balance, and I regain my composure. Not levying an internal edict of "just stop it", or denying my own distress. It also means allowing myself a quick exit when I'm in surroundings that might lead to feeling ashamed or embarrassed if I stuck around and tried (and failed) to repress the meltdown. Because it hasn't worked (for me) and only fuels the conflagration when I inevitably explode.
Better to leave abruptly and be seen as rude, than to have a full blown meltdown witnessed by everyone. It's hard enough being completely drained, exposed and vulnerable, without also having to explain and apologize for what may appear as completely irrational and out of control. Knowing that it is actually quite understandable and even predictable, but feeling unable to disclose that it's because I'm autistic. Especially considering I haven't a formal diagnosis.
I do wish I had been aware when my children were young and had to endure my all too frequent meltdowns. One of my biggest triggers is when I have my routine disrupted, after I have already determined the course and objectives for my day. So when that simple and straightforward plan gets derailed, I lose my bearings and I'm liable to implode. I've been able to accommodate myself somewhat, by asking for "fair warning" if someone wants something ...to please let me know well in advance.
There are some situations that demand immediate action, but being mindful of my nature I can employ rational thinking to my benefit. And offer a mental note, reminding myself that I can allow for time to regroup after I've done whatever needed. Like a "mental health day" of low stress following a taxing day, or rewarding myself with positive affirmations for expectations (of others) well met. Realizing that my inner dialog needn't always be one of rebuke, but also of reflection and kindness. I'm learning.
Knowing you're autistic but not being able to disclose it because of not being diagnosed gets so frustrating. I'm in this situation too. I often get around it by explaining what is going on rather than how it's called, but when a shutdown or meltdown is pointing its nose I really don't have the ressources to go through so many hoops just to avoid the whole "self-diagnosis" discussion. I hope that someday people will be more educated and understanding of those situations.
Thank you for commenting David, your comments always have such wisdom and it’s great to read about your experiences and perspective!
I realised a little while ago one of my biggest autistic traits is ‘lack of social imagination’, and your points about having an inner dialog that’s kind, and not deploying the ‘just stop it’ technique I’m far too familiar with myself really resonate with me and have given me better ideas on how to cope with my meltdowns!
It’s tricky being undiagnosed, I’m very of the opinion that we usually know when we’re autistic and you should be able to tell people you are without a diagnosis or needing to explain yourself, but I also spent over 4 years being sure I was autistic but not saying anything due to not being diagnosed, so I understand where you are with that, though unfortunately having nothing helpful to say beyond that I think it’s just as valid and okay for you (and anyone else self diagnosed) to say you’re autistic as it is for me with a diagnosis 💕
💚 felt this hard- my esa can’t come on campus bc of overcrowding and it was so validating to hear you explain how much that helps. I have a hard time vocalizing my feelings in a legible way and many times, you seem to have the words behind my feelings (for a lot of topics not just the cats lol) Thank you thank you thank you and hope you recover as speedy as possible
I know how hard it can be, but if you’re able to I’d recommend kicking up a bit of a fuss about that! You deserve to have whatever you need, overcrowding or no overcrowding!
I’m glad you seem to think I’m actually vocalising things in a legible way, sometimes I wonder if I’m just saying words without actually saying anything 😅
Thank you for commenting, it really means a lot to know I’m not the only one, though it does then totally suck that other people are stuck feeling the same way sometimes! I hope you’re able to get what you need and deserve on campus soon 💕
Sending you love and light 🤍
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I was looking into videos to help me help the kiddo I work with- but after coming across your videos, I find them more educating than almost all of the seminars I have come across.
It helps those of us who care for people with autism to see things from their point of view.
This comment has made me so happy, thank you so much! I’ve come across so many people trained to work with autistic people, who are just woefully undereducated through no fault of their own. It’s lovely to see someone going out of their way to learn more to support autistic kids 😭💕
Your videos really help me. My meltdowns always happen in front of my family. So that’s rather embarrassing. I’m working my way through all of your videos. You’re really good at showing how you feel about things. For some reason, I can relate to a lot of what you say and again, you’re really helpful. And I like your cats. Thank you.
Things I use for non-self-harm but *intense* stims during - and for preventing - meltdown: foam roller/peanut ball for deeper pressure, accupressure mat, roll spiky little accupressure balls in my hands, scream into a pillow or in my car, loud music, ask my partner to lie on my back, etc.
That was good. Thank You. So True.
Thank you for sharing. I am in this sort of space too at the moment and I am alone (apart from my lovely cats too💕) and it has helped me to sit with you. I hope we both feel so much better very soon. Thank you Dana, I appreciate you so much 🙏💖
Thank you for sharing too! Artemis always seems to find the words for what I want to say better than I do, but I’ll echo that in spirit we’re not alone, and it really helps and means a lot to know that for me, even though it also sucks to know you’re in the same place knowing how crap it is 😂💕
I hope things get much better for both of us soon, thank you so much for being here and commenting 😭💕💕
I found your channel like two weeks ago and I just wanted to pop in and say I appreciate your realness and bluntness in all of your videos, but especially this one (which must have been pretty mentally taxing/emotionally loaded to make). It’s honestly really refreshing to hear someone else talk just like, openly and honestly about their experience, especially at the times that make you truly wish for nothing more than to NOT be autistic, without feeling the need to idk. Sugarcoat it or take the edge off in someway, especially when it causes enough stress that it really does feel like the end of the world, even when logic brain knows that it’s not. I’ve recently discovered I’m probably autistic and got completly missed because a lot of my traits are very internalized and not problematic to others, but I heavily relate to a lot of what you’ve mentioned in your experience, and idk. Its nice to feel validated especially when I feel like everyone else’s perception of me is just “well you don’t look autistic” or, “clearly you’ve made it this far in life so it can’t be THAT debillitating”. Hope you’re feeling better now,,,,
@2:27 your talking about what I label as disassociation.
This is a crossover symptom that people with ptsd also experience. That’s very interesting. I having c-ptsd totally relate to that. I’ve not watched the whole video so my comment is purely on that specific part of the video. It is exhausting to go through for me, and it does take a lot of recovery.
Thank you so much for this!! I’m sorry you’re going through this it cam fell very lonely but please know you’re not alone!! I love that you know and can reassure yourself that this will pass and better days will come. That’s amazing!! Please keep sharing this is gold for us who are just coming in to knowing and recognizing the multilayered spectrum. As a parent thank you!!
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Its really hard for me to accept sometimes that im autistic, but its stuff like this where I relate so much and it hits me plain as day; I really am autistic. (I just flashed back to a massive meltdown in college a few years ago) I also just realized ive been running on red because ive been doing the same thing where i turn it into something else without realizing it.
I just figured out yesterday that I probably had/have meltdowns and never realized it before. Was a weird feeling recognizing the symptoms and thinking "wait I know that, thats not something everyone has sometimes?"
Was a really awful experience, but maybe I won't have them again (probably will). And anyways I'm also not autistic (ADHD, late diagnosed), so I don't know if I can even have meltdowns.
I was going to say the same as Artemis, though probably not so well 😂 There’s such a huge cross over of autism and ADHD, I do personally think they’re probably the same thing, but different people can have such vastly different traits and experiences they’re yet to be seen as such.
Figuring out and accepting being autistic can be a LOT, but if you’ve experienced meltdowns I’d say it’s at least worth looking for ways to cope with and help them, even if you’re not autistic. No point making life harder than you need to just because you don’t have a diagnosis of something!
@@artemisXsidecross Thats crazy, I knew there was some overlap, but such a huge percentage is wild. Definitely something I will look more into, thanks for the information 😄
1:19 you can start finding alternative methods of life, so you do never even get close to go through that which builds up tension. It can be self- imposed, something your mind tells you it's not right to stop doing.... but your body knows better.
If you do lack control of whatever comes next because of not following the wrong actions... plot ahead.
I 100% related to all of this! I am 46, not diagnosed yet, but will be seeking a diagnosis. Thank you for being another person to share so much with the world. It truly helps!! ❤
Thank you for validating my oversharing online! So glad you're able to relate and find it useful
✌️💕🤗
My meltdowns are defensive rage moments. They come on in an instant, and it takes hours for me to feel better. They never work.
Got to know which builds up tension inside you?
This is a very important video and it helped me immensely
It is interesting you say childish. My dad's nickname for me is Peter Pan. I only found this out last year during my autism assessment process. The fact that I am childish is probably the reason I never had any relationships with people. Never had a girlfriend. Haven't had a friend in over 20 years. I have given up trying to find someone to share my life with. Who wants to be in a mother to a child relationship who isn't their mother and not their own child? No one. So I have given up. I hate being autistic. I think it is a curse. Why was I cursed with autism?
Cleaning: I am so depressed that I can literally go years without cleaning. I don't see the point of it when you live alone and no one ever visits you. I got now home support. Someone visits me mostly once a week and they are helping me. Sorting things out, throwing out stuff I don't use, helping me clean my flat, encouraging me. My living room curtains are clean for the first time in 8 years. I couldn't get up there to take them down to wash them. The only reason I have sought out help is I didn't want to get evicted for not keeping my flat clean and tidy. I don't know if her remit is to help me clean my flat but she has and has driven me to the doctors and taken stuff to charity shops. I am so grateful for her help but I also feel ashamed that I had to seek out help. I shouldn't feel ashamed but I do.
I think I prefer pets to people. I have a dog. I call her Cally. She is nearly 8 years old. A border collie Labrador cross. If it wasn't for my dog I would never leave my flat except for doctor appointments and shopping.