Why I was away from YouTube for months
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- Опубліковано 6 лип 2024
- I took a few months break from UA-cam before I started uploading recently again. This footage is a few weeks old and a lot has changed (including the passing of my mother and an improvement in my overall mental health) but this video nevertheless is like a time capsule of a very difficult season in my life.
#mentalhealth #lifeupdate
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💕ABOUT
Welcome to my channel! My name is Lindie and I share my love for languages and design on this channel. I'm a senior product designer and co-founder of Kaards.io. I also write blog posts about languages at lindiebotes.com, and mentor language learners, and offer UX consulting for language apps at superpeer.com/lindiebotes. I'm a Christian and strive to shine God’s light in all I do. May this channel inspire you to reach your language goals and learn more about design.
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Please don't ever feel bad for wanting your mom at your birthday, because it's as special to you as it is for her
I know it must be so strange to hear a stranger say how much they care for you. But I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug.
I have PTSD from being a "third culture kid" too. Losing your home over and over again is not easy. Things will get better with time. Sending you support
Gosh I am so glad there is someone out there who can relate. No one understands.
I'm not a third-culture kid but I've lived and worked in 4 different APAC countries in the last 10 years, and although I've loved the adventure, that comment about losing something every single time you leave really hit me like a brick.
Hi Lindie.I also lost my Father and Mother in the last few years to cancer but i remind myself constantly that they are happy with Jesus.So i must be happy for them they have no pain anymore and are happy.Thinking of you and praying for you.You always inspire me by your language learning videos and by your pure personality,Jesus will always be with you,even in this times.Sterkte Andre
I truly hate the notion that living in many countries as a child is a blessing. U r basically forced to move and to learn a new language. As much as I appreciate that I speak several languages, it will always be associated with loss, helplessness and trauma for me.
@@uniayang So true! You never know where you "belong" or where you're "from". It seems like such a little thing, for people to ask "where are you from?" and you being able to respond "from x". I hate not sounding "quite right" when compared to natives my age. People will think I'm not from here and ask where I am from and I don't even know what to say, because I'm from nowhere.
Also, it floors me how people in their 30s and 40s have friends they went to 1st grade with. At some point I stopped even making friends. Nobody ever wrote or emailed like they said they would and it wasn't the same anyway.
I NEVER want to move again. Even travel is eek now. I just want to be in MY place with MY stuff, where I am familiar with everything.
I'm so sorry for your mother
Thank you so much
Dear Lindie,
I am so grateful for you. For your honesty. The fact that you let us see the hole picture is an amazing feeling. I am happy to note that you've been doing better recently and please note that your vulnerability make many things so much better and easier to handle in my life
Lindie, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. Your tears touch my heart.
Dankie vir al wat jy doen vir die talenleergemeenskap. Jy is so waardevol!
Petra uit Nederland.
Lindie, I never write comments and realize there is no way you can then know how useful your channel is. And the channel is not the content, is YOU. Your honesty, just who you are. I am really sorry for your loss. Sending you big hugs.
I agree completely. Lindie you are such a lovely person and I appreciate your work so much. I am really sorry for your loss. It must be so hard. I wish you peace and healing, in time. I am happy you have a loving partner by your side ❤
Exactly, I couldn't express it better. I am so very sorry for your loss and I hope your mental health keeps improving. Wishing you all the best and thinking of you frequently!
Lindie, I've been here at my keyboard for over an hour thinking about everything you've said, my own life, what words are worth saying, what words are necessary to say, and a million other things. And I've also been wondering what words I might meaningfully offer to a person I've never met. In the end I think maybe that's it, Lindie. Maybe what I have of meaning to offer you is the knowledge that someone out there stopped their life cold to sit and think about how they could help you, not knowing how but unable to give up on the idea of making your day just a tiny bit better.
A warm hug and my best wishes, Ms. Botes. And a happy belated Lindie-Was-Born Day! Celebrating that is something I can get behind without needing an hour to think :D
I think it's really admirable that you dropped everything just to be there for your mom
i . . . cried with you, because i empathize with so much of what you endure, lindie. you truly have my utmost best wishes and condolences. 💜
It’s easy to look at your language accomplishments, which are many and deserving of respect, and forget you are human being - subject to the pain, trials, and tribulations that humans suffer through in real life. You take care of yourself and make yourself the priority. You are in my heart, Lindie.
Lindie, I cry with you over this. Death is the worst thing in the world. I lost my dog in June 2017 and my dad seven months later, and I've never recovered from either, especially (strange to say) my dog. I'm still devastated and have not felt whole since. The light just went out of my life. I'm still very raw and desolate. But enough about me. I will be praying for you. Know that you will reunite with your mom when the Lord returns and we leave this vale of tears behind forever. Much love, Lindie, and may God keep you in the shadow of His wings.
I emphasize deeply with you. I lost my mother in June this year as well, this after having lost my father in 2018, leaving my three siblings and I as "orphans" (we're all adults, but we're only in our 20's, so it still feels like I've been orphaned). The circumstances behind her passing were tragic too, because there were so many factors that if only slightly modified would have prevented it from happening. It wasn't even from an illness where we could say our goodbyes and come to terms with it. It was like one day that started out like any other, and less than a week later, she would leave my life forever. The whiplash is still hard to overcome. My boyfriend of two years has been the one saving grace I've had during this time, even promising to my mother at her funeral that he would take care of me for her from now on. My mother was always fascinated by my passion for learning languages, and now every time I study or write in another language, I think of her. While a part of me died with her, a part of her will always live in me.
Hey Lindie, this is my first time commenting on one of your videos and I just want to say that all in all you're a great inspiration for a lot of people here, myself included. It takes a ton of strength to get in front of a camera and do what you did. I don't really know what you're dealing with, having not lost a parent, but I just want to say that I'm sorry for your loss and that I'm glad that you seem to be taking care of yourself. Take whatever time you need and remember that you're mental health comes before anything else. We'll still be here if/ whenever you return!
Siento mucho la pérdida de tu mamá, Lindie. No nos conocemos, pero te mando mucha fuerza y cariño.
It’s the hardest loss, losing our mom’s. Kudos to you for making a way to be with her, both for you and for her, and for seeking medical assistance to help you be the best you that you can be - and continuing to seek help when the help wasn’t helping. Bless you, sweet girl.
I love the fact that more and more people are going to psychologist and other mental health doctors, instead of "sucking it up" and trying to be strong. I am so happy that you have strong love support and this guy appeared at the right time. I am so sorry for your mom and I hope she is now in better place, without pain and looking down having smile on her face. I've watched your videos for years and I am so happy that you are in some ways doing better and being supported. Everything happens for a reason and without that all, you may not have met this guy and made this huge step in your own life career wise. I wish you the best and I wish you all the healing you necessary need! Love from Estonia!
Dear Lindie❤ i also lost my mother a few months ago😢 im so so so sorry about your Mom and all the things that you both goes through. Its a very big clishè that it needs time to heal. It will never heal. When i started realize this i begin to see her in all the sunsets. For me it helps a bit. It reminds me that she here with me every day. So much love from Hungary!
Your mother sounds wonderful; thank you for sharing her story with us. You don’t need to cry anymore about her because she’s probably in a great place. Maybe she’s watching you and feeling sad for you because you had to stay hear on this crazy planet!🙂
I'm so sorry Lindie. Sending you and your loved ones nothing but love and light 💗 I'm so happy you've met an amazing soul and that you're doing better with your health.
Thank you as always Ruby!
I'm sorry about your mum. I lost a lot of people in the last 3 years including my dad and I know how traumatic it is. I also have bad mental health issues including complex-PTSD. I am praying for you, and thank you for sharing all of this it is inspirational and you are strong and brave. Take it at your own pace, we are here for you.
God is with her now and she's waiting for you. Live a beautiful life so that you can tell her all about it when you see her again 💕
Goodluck with your boyfriend 🙏 my boyfriend was a lifesaver for me so I hope he can be for you too. Sending love.
You are a very strong woman, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Take your time, you are amazing.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for this video...
I wish I could hold you tight, my dear Lindie. Sending love and prayers to you.
I can relate. My father was a cancer patient. Long story short. It left us in depression, crippling debt, and tons of other problems. In these time, you just want someone to hug you and cry as much as you want in his arms, sadly I didnt even had that.
Lindie! Thank you for letting us know. You are such a strong and inspiring woman. Your mum must be so proud of you. I’m so sorry that you lost your best friend, your mum. May she rest in peace.
We are always waiting for you no matter how long you are gone from UA-cam. Also, congratulations on getting a full time job and being in a better mental state now. By the way, you look so beautiful - I love your new hair color! Don’t forget that we’re always here to listen, we will never judge you for anything. I love you so much, Lindie! 💕
I'm sorry for your loss. 😢 Thank you for sharing. Glad to hear you say you're feeling better. Wishing you the best.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I lost mine too during pandemic for blood cancer. I am sure you have many good memories with her so I hope you try to think about those times and spend wonderful life ahead of you which I think you mom wishes for. She is definitely watching over you!
Lindie I'm so sorry about your mom and I can't even begin to understand what you're feeling. Sending you big hugs.
Omg, I am so sorry for your lose. Prayers for your family.
So sorry for your loss .
So sorry for your loss Lindie. Thank you so much for this. I've had to watch in stages but know that your'e helping others in so many ways especially the other South African girls who live entire continents away from their moms
💖Wishing you all the love, strength and hope, Lindie. I can't even think of the day my mum will pass away, even if to me is a "see you later!" and not a goodbye. It really is one of the hardest things we are to experience, yet how fortunate we are to spend time together. Sending you a warm hug💖🤗
I'm so sorry for your loss, please know that everything you do is very inspiring
Lindie, sending some love and support from Singapore. I'm sorry to hear about your mum, as an only child living with elderly parents with various health issues I can understand how you feel. I constantly worry about them. It's hard to stay strong all the time and we definitely need to have an outlet for our emotions. I just wanted to tell you that you have been inspiring in my own language learning journey and watching your videos helped me to stop comparing my progress to others and take things at my pace and not be pressured to use a popular method but find my own learning style. So thank you for what you've done and please don't feel pressured to make videos during this time. Your mental health and family are more important ❤
My deepest condolences, Lindie and I wish you much strength during this time. 🙏❤
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost my mom a little more than a year ago after several months of illness (including mental illness, similar to what your mom experienced) and I'm only a few years than you, she was my best friend too. The only thing I could think at the time was thanks Heaven she stopped suffering. I also felt grateful for had having her for 36 years. I'm also sorry for the troubles you had, but I'm glad you're going better now.
I'm sending you a huge hug.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of love your way and prayers for you and your family 💛
Hi Lindie, I am terribly sorry for your loss. While hearing your video, I felt connected and understood what you were going through. Having a parent with a medical condition especially when we are still young is heartbreaking. My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's 8 years ago, I was barely 18. Throughout the years spending time with him and putting my life on pause has become my way of life, and sometimes we can feel selfish for feeling resentful of it. I too suffer from dissociation and I am changing my medication to feel better (hopefully it will work better). I want you to know there is no silly or stupid reason to have bad mental health. They are all valid and no one knows what you go through. I love my dad and helping him and my mom but it is such a big part of my life and I feel tired and like I am not myself sometimes. I wish you strength and perseverance for your life ahead, you re an inspiration, and thank you for sharing with us.
I know it might not be enough, but I am sending hundreds of virtual hugs and support now. I wish you all the best love and health.
Dear Lindie, may God bless you for your faith and trust in Him during such a difficult time. I am praying you feel His presence and comfort in the coming weeks.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I almost lost my mum one year ago. I'm still in shock because it happened in less that one week. She's still recovering but I have PTSD about her being at the hospital.
I don't know what to say except I wish you the best and may your mother rest in peace. Just take your time.
I’m so sorry for this hard period of your life. I am really happy you have people supporting you like your boyfriend. Much support for your healing ❤
Thank you for being open and vulnerable. I'm really sorry for such a difficult time, but you've got the tools and the network to help you cope and all our support. We are all with you Lindie, take the time you need.
Lindie thank you for being so open with all what you are going through. There's no words to comfort one when loosing a parent, just time heals us. I wish you lot's of strength for this difficult time and that you and your boyfriend will be together for many more years
Please feel hugged ❤️❤️❤️
I do feel so hugged!
Thanks for your vulnerability in this video
I'm so sorry for all you've been going through, and especially about your mum. Glad you are feeling some better... be gentle with yourself now these next days and weeks and months... I'll be thinking of you 💛💛
@Lindie Botes So sorry for your loss Lindie ❤ Take all the time you need. It is ok to take breaks ❤
Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord and let the Perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen 🙏❤
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and for sharing your life❤ It's ok to not be okay ❤
Congratulations on you meeting someone 🥰❤💕
God Bless 🙏❤
I'm so sorry about your loss. I know how hard it is watching someone die. My grandmother and I were really, really close all my life and she was diagnosed with cancer in 2018. She passed away in November 2019. Going to all those doctors with her and visiting her at the hospital as often as I could was the hardest thing I ever did. Watching her getting worse and worse broke my heart. It was traumatic and I had to start therapy when she passed away because I kept having at least two panic attacks per day. For a while I didn't want to live anymore. But I got better. Meds and being diagnosed with adjustment disorder and OCD tendencies changed my life for the better. Understanding that I went through childhood trauma as well, was really helpful. So, yeah, don't give up, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just take all the time you need to grieve and work through everything.
I am sure your openness and sharing your story will help a lot of people. Thank you.
I'm so sorry Lindie. Sending you lots of love.
Lindie, a big hug from Portugal. ❤ my mother was my best friend and I lost her too. You will survive because that is what your mother wish you to do.
Keep going and be strong , sorry for your pain.
You are such a warrior Lindie. Seriously, this takes a whole lot of courage, vulnerability, and transparency. Being with your mom as much as possible prior to her passing and taking care of your mental health are of course way more important than UA-cam. Nobody should ever tell you otherwise. I am very glad to see that slowly but surely you are doing better and staying strong. Please don't ever give up the fight ✨️🙏🏻 you are so loved and important to so many people. I'm hoping that things get better for you. Sending warm hugs and my best wishes and vibes to you Lindie! ❤❤
I am sorry for your loss. Sending prayers of comfort. You are so brave and kind. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Hi Lindie, I'm so sorry to hear the news about your mom and the mental health issues - though glad to hear things are getting better on the MH side. I'm especially grateful that you talked about the PTSD and how repeatedly moving contributed to that. I also moved around a lot as a kid (I never went to the same school for more than two years until I got to university and all our moves were long-distance) and can definitely relate to those feelings of repeated loss and instability and how hard that is to go through. But it never occurred to me until I saw your video that it was even possible that this could result in a form of PTSD, or that a "third culture kid" is even a thing. I definitely have some research to do now, because it may explain a lot about some of the difficulties I know this has caused in my adult life! Thanks so much for sharing your story so honestly. Hugs from Canada!
You're a lovely person. I watch a lot of your videos and l like you so so so much. You're kind, emphatic, hard-working, balabala woman. I feel truly sorry for these things that happened to you and l hope you could feel our support. I wish you could get better. And thank you so much for sharing these with us. It's so nice and strong of you to share the things you have been through.
Give you a big hug and lots, lots of love.💕💕💕
Wishing you much strength.
You are so wonderful, thank you for being so open and I'm happy to hear about all the good things in your life now.
Lindie I hope that you find comfort sharing with us your struggles, please don't feel like you have to. Hardships came to you in a huge wave that honestly I admire how you're so put together right now. I'm so sorry but I feel hopeful that you're going to make through all of this. Just know that there are a lot of people here that care about you 💜.
Sorry for your loss, Lindie.
So sorry to hear about your mother, Lindie, and thank you for continuing to share about your experiences. I worked in the design community in Singapore until a few years ago and maybe you worked with some of my former students... totally understandable about going back to SA. I wish you all the strength you need to start your next chapter.
Dear Lindie, I'm sorry to heard it. I am sending the power of love to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Lindie. I admire your strength and I’m glad you’re still with us. Your videos have really helped with my language learning journey and I really appreciate the effort you put into your videos. I hope your life continues to improve. ❤
I feel you. Plz keep going, we all are by ur side.
I’m so sorry to hear about how many parts of life are challenging right now but I’m glad to hear you are gradually getting a hold on everything. I’m rooting for you in all that you do!
I wish you all the best. Thoughts and prayers with you. You look after yourself.
Your videos Inspire me and many others. Do continue when you can. We can watch repeats so it's ok.
Sorry to hear about your mum's illness Lindsie.I hope she didn't suffer too much.
Lindie, you have such a beautiful soul. We admire you so much.
You are very appreciated. Hugs!
Hi Lindie. This is my first time commenting on one of your video. They’ve helped me a lot with my language goals.
I wish I could give you a hug. I went through the exact same thing with my mom last year. (Honestly just listening to this video brought me to tears). For me there was nothing in this world that compared to the pain of losing my mom. And I know from experience that nothing that anyone says or does can make that hurt go away. I just wanted to let you know that I felt and thought of many of the things your describing. your not alone in feeling like that. It just hard; so please don’t judge yourself too harshly.
I'm so sorry about your mum, please know that it's ok to put your family and mental health first!
I don't usually comment, but I've been watching your videos for absolute ages and they've been a huge motivation! Thank you, merci, 谢谢, gracias :)
Please continue to take care of yourself
You are so strong
I hope you feel better now and I send you love ❤️
thank you lindie for being comfortable enough to share this news with us. please don’t ever feel bad that your mom and family are your first priorities. i pray for your mom and for her peaceful rest, as well as your mental health. remember that God is always in control, and He’s got a purpose even though we may not understand, all is for His greater glory and our benefit. thank you again lindie, we love you, and God bless you!
✝️🤍
Sorry for your loss! Thank you for all your content and take your time on the road to recovery.
I have cried with you throughout the video! Sending you big hugs💕
I pray that she got the chance to spend one last birthday with you. I lost my dad when I was 8 so I’m so sorry for the loss of a parent. Recently (2020) I lost my maternal grandmother, then maternal grandfather (2022) so just know you are not alone in loss and there is prayers to go around for you and your family. I’m glad you did the disclaimer about doing a little better and I’m just so sorry for your loss. I’m glad she’s in a better place and no longer in pain (that’s how I felt with my father when I was 8 and my grandfather just this past March). It can be so difficult to see them in pain and suffer, yet of course want them to stay here on earth at the same time.
She’s in heaven now and is probably looking down just smiling at the wonderful beautiful woman you are and the difference you make in the polyglot influencer community. It’s crazy how long I’ve been watching your videos and seeing your growth and personal struggles.
That kind of vulnerability isn’t easy so I applaud you for sharing and know I am praying for you❤️ (Along with so many others who can relate to loss and are going through similar experiences).
omg lindie, praying for you and your family for comfort and strength! i know God is with you and he loves you! never forget that❤️🙏
I'm very sorry for your loss! Sending you lots of love and wishing you a fast recovery.
So sorry for your loss! It's never enough time! So much love in this sharing. We appreciate you and love you!
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself during this painful time. We have been talking about how strong you have been throughout this in my home. It takes so much strength to show moments of hardship in one’s life. Que Dios te bendiga Lindie.
So sorry for your loss. Get a lot of inspiration from your channel and glad to see you are in a good place.
Thank you Lindie for being yourself. May God help you. It’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to share. You have a beautiful soul. I wish you all the best. And your mother looks like such a positive person. I am sure she is doing much more better there🙏
Lindie my heart breaks for your loss but I know that there's joy in knowing your mom is dancing in heaven. I'm praying for you always and thank you so much for your honestly and care for this youtube community even in difficult times. You are wonderful and I hope you will continue to get better ❤
Your resolve and tenacity is truly inspiring. I am sending so much love and healing ❤️💜❤️💜
Aww Lindie, you are an amazing person and such an inspiration to me. I hope that nothing but good and great things come your way 💜
My heart has been with you and remains with you.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Sending lots of love and support!
Dear Lindie, I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing and really thank God for good doctors and medication that works ❤ this is such a challenging time for you. Sending you love and prayers and hoping you continue getting better.
My deepest condolences to you and you whole family. My Almighty God comfort you in this time of bereavement. Please take a long break if you need to because we surely understand and can't imagine what you're experiencing now.
Thank you for sharing this with us and being so open and honest about your mental health struggles. Life is terrible and difficult sometimes. Thank you also for taking time off from UA-cam to prioritize yourself and your family.
Thank you for sharing your strength, for being vulnerable and honest about your challenges. I’m very sorry to hear about your mother. Whatever happens, I hope you will continue to be a light. I’ve got my own struggles but I find that your videos help me to be more positive about life and languages 😊
Happy to hear you’re doing better ❤
Love your channel, Lindie. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I hope things continue to get better for you. Take care. 🙂
I feel so sorry for your lost, and I’m sending some love from Brazil! ♥️
You are precious and inspired.
Get better 😘
I am sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies go out to you Lindie
I'm praying for you. Thank you for your honesty.
I'm very sorry for your lost! God is taking care of you... you are not alone. I can tell that you are a very strong person and I'm sure you will get this. Losing someone that we love is a very hard experience but with time all the pain go away and the lessons we learned, the happiness we shared, the laughs, the hugs, all in the memory are the confort and know that you were blessed to share all this with them in this lifetime. God bless you! Hugs from Brazil!
So sorry for your loss Lindie. God bless.
I am so sorry for your loss! But so happy for you to have found a good psychiatrist and boyfriend and that you're already feeling better now. :)