the different stages of parenting
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- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
- In today’s episode, we dove into the different stages of parenting and the incredible yet difficult moments that come with each one. From Infancy to young adulthood, it was cool to walk through each age range and talk about what we’re looking forward to (or terrified about) the most. If you’re a parent out there, let us know if you can relate!
Love you guys!
Shawn and Andrew
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There’s way more fear when they’re 16 and take off driving and riding with friends than infancy! And the grief that comes with them leaving home hit me like a semi truck-so hard!!
It's true when they leave is heart wrenching.
Exactly what I was thinking!! Way harder to let go, in every phase of their lives but your baby moving out on there own is heart breaking. And some how feels so personal, They don't want to be with us anymore. But I am blessed my daughter still comes visits me at least a couple times a week. Thank God!!
I have gone through all this, my daughters are 25,23,20. My two oldest have great jobs youngest is in last year of college and working. Our oldest is married and just made us grandparents to a baby boy. Such an amazing life my husband and I have had together married 33 years in October. (We are 52, and 53) the empty nesting is pretty amazing. I love watching you and your family I have watched since it was just Andrew and Shawn. Holding my grandson feeding him, burping him, changing his diapers is the best. So blessed!
I didn’t mean to comment under your post sorry.
It makes me tear up thinking of a set of parents diving this deeply into how to raise (correctly) their kids not only spiritually but morally and with the right length of rope to allow them to be safe, not get hurt, yet still have fun, encompassing all it means to *truly* be a kid. Coming from a wonderful father but an absent mother and a broken home, I unfortunately lost out in my teenage years, which disrupted my early adult life. It is so apparent watching you two since engagement (binge-watching from months in the hospital from a chronic condition) to miscarriage, traveling Europe, and the birth of three beautiful children. I can only hope to be the kind of mother (like Shawn) and raise children with a husband (like Andrew) I've prayed to God for since my teens. Thank you for your efforts in all the wholesome content. You guys work hard to create a fantastic atmosphere for three little, deeply loved humans.
I'm 75 and raised 4 children. Somehow they are wonderful, contributing members of society and good parents. They are so very different from each other but have basic, good moral ethics and values. Sooo, because you asked, I will give you a few pieces of wisdom that you may not have touched on.
1. The 1st 10 years are really the easiest. I once saw a sign that said, "hire a teenager while they still know everything." 🥴
2. Don't take yourself too seriously. A sense of humor goes a long, long way.
3. Be intentional with your children. The quality of time spent with your children is more important than the quantity. I do feel the 1st 7 years of a child's life are the most impressionable and therefore important for parents and trusted adults to be in a child's life.
It's ok and even healthy for a child to know that parents have other activities in their lives aside from them, as long as they feel secure in the facts they are safe, loved and really matter to you.
You two are amazing parents. I wish I had, had half the insight and clarity of what you have. You have a fantastic support team, a God centered life, and the platform, desire and application to use your it to help others.
It's been such a blessing to haved followed you since you began your online journey. I pray God's continued blessings and guidance for you and your beautiful family always. 🙏❤️
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Wow !
Everyone has a different experience, for sure.
As a mom of now two young adults, this is
THE MOST DIFFICULT PHASE.
I always knew letting go would be crushing,
and while I expected it, this heart wrenching
agony seems no less painful, even being INCREDIBLY
PROUD of the growth and independence that continues
to bloom before my eyes.
HOW I MISS THE DAYS of the constant embraces and
physical affection, which they were so giving and accepting of.
You might see a completely different personality emerge
as adolescence blossoms.
Thank GOD I have had a relationship with our Lord and
others who build me up, share such support, and encourage me
in my growth as a mom and as a child of God. 🙏🏽
I LOVE to hear of the boundaries.
SOOOO IMPORTANT.
I saw SEVERAL kids learn utter disrespect for their parents
from witnessing them 'cave.'
Stand firm !!
Your children will be SO MUCH BETTER for it.
💜
I managed to get my two into their 20s (24 and 28) healthy and productive members of society. Can't tell you how! It goes so fast! My advice is don't sweat the small stuff and talk to them about everything and teach them to be self-sufficient.
She drags her feet because she’s polite and lets you finish every thought you have. She doesn’t get enough time to express her thoughts. SLOW DOWN Andrew…..take a breath. It’s a discussion. 😘❤️🙏🏻
My opinion is kinda opposite of yours. All due respect to yours but I genuinely just think that Shawn kinda piggy backs off of what andrew says most of the time. I think she’s gotten very comfortable in the space knowing that Andrew will lead the conversation. Hence why she turns towards him when she says anything - almost as jf she is waiting for his reaction or approval. 😬
@@sak3801 Yeah. They know each other too well by now.
I LOVED every stage. Even the teenage years were great as they learned to formulate their own ideas/opinions. I highly suggest that when they reach high school that you tell them they are now in charge of advocating for themselves with teachers/coaches/other adults. Then you only step in when necessary. By the time they are seniors in high school, give them charge of their lives. They make the decisions, they keep you informed of where they are and you are there to catch them if they fall (great advice I received). This prepared my children for college and the real world. I have 3 grown extremely adventurous fully responsible hardworking adults. I adore my relationship with each of them. I homeschooled when they were in grade school and raised 3 teens as a single mom. It's not easy to let go, but It can be done for the child's sake. Thanks for sharing your adorable family with us!
You will be amused when watching this video 15 years from now. There is no off stitch to parenting. The most challenging and rewarding role ever.
I think Shawn could sit there, listen to Andrew’s soothing voice…and sleep 😴😴😴😴. It’s her quiet time 👍
This is NOT the hardest phase Andrew! It’s for sure the best times and I see you guys taking it all in and that’s awesome to see and you guys have it all documented,I am sharing as a 62 year old that raised 3 boys the hardest times will be the teen years! The Driving years SUCKS and you’ll loose sleep again and again.
I’ve been here with you two from the very beginning and you both have grown into a beautiful couple and your fabulous parents, I tell all the young couples in my life to subscribe and listen bc you have sooooo much to offer to help any young couple to grow, I love that your taking in all the moments good and not so good like you said you’ll never get that time back.
You have a LONG way to go so much time to take in and enjoy and some day you will enjoy the fruits of your labor😂
You’ll find yourselves having to “let go” more and more with each phase I can’t believe Drew is almost 5, WHAT?
You guys are doing such an amazing job!
I totally wanted to stay in the moment alllllll the time, we were the house all the kids came to and as adults with their families they still come I’m a hairstylist and I cut their hair as little dudes they still come for haircuts with their little ones. I’m soooooo thankful for that!
You guys are doing great!
In my opinion, the hardest stage of parenting is when your kids are adults. You no longer have any control in how their lives will fair. The only thing you can do is let them know you love them and pray.
I never ever comment on videos but I would like to thank you for making this one. I’m currently in the 1-2yo phase with another due in a couple months and it has been a haaaard stage even though I love every stage. It’s so comforting and encouraging hearing Shawn say that was her hardest stage so far. You made this mama smile today 🫶🏻
I have teenagers and a newborn. All stages are hard and beautiful in their own way. What I will say is cherish the baby time! It is so fleeting and precious. The toddler years are also trying and so wonderful. The teen years are fun and so challenging with boundaries and how do you let them grow spread their wings and also keep them safe.
Love listening to your podcast and insights, curious what your thoughts on the remaining stages of life would be, would be fun to hear an episode/insights on that! 😊
I have one son and he’s 25 years old now. I totally agree with the way you broke down the life stages. Everyone is proud of their child, but I can definitely say my son make good choices, (mostly) got his degree and bought his own vehicle at 22 years old. Paid cash might I add. He was a self driven athlete from the time he could get his hand on a ball and throw it. We just allowed him to enjoy and blossom in his own passion for his sport. His sport kept him away from most trouble, other teenagers and young adults get into. I find that it’s the 18 and up that is hardest for me as a parent. Once they go to college and then they start their career it’s harder to see and spend time with them. They’ve started their life and they have so much to do to start it. I don’t get to see him every day, but I cherish the times I do see him.
I have a daughter who is 5, August baby. And I have two boys a 3 and 1 1/2 year old so we have kids the same gender and same ages pretty much so I am right there with you with parenting as well. It really does get easier in some ways but harder in different ways. My daughter started kindergarten and so I'm new to the game of school. My favorite phase is the newborn phase. No matter how exhausting it is it is by far my favorite and then it would be around 15 months-18 months when they start saying words and listening to demands and walking but they don't talk back yet and then 4 years was also SO fun with my daughter ❤ love you guys and have been watching you for years and so funny we have kids the same ages and genders
I needed this. ❤
Great episode! It reminded me of Maria Montessori's idea of planes of development. Those ideas might be a helpful supplement to this conversation.
Tip that learned from 1 of the best educators is if something comes out of your mouth that you regret laying down as a boundary you have about 3 seconds to fix it.
We have two boys and a 8 month baby girl. Our first boy is type A just like how you described Drew! And our second boy sounds just like Jett!
Mine three kids are about to be 7,5, and 3. This is by far the toughest phase for me and my husband. The attitudes, push for independence, and intellectual strides is hard to manage and deal with. I am still learning and growing with how to take this on and give them the best!
Mom of 4, ages 22, 20, 15 and 5. Boys are easier than girls and boys are hard between 3-5. Girls and teenage mood swings are intense. You've got this!
Try home schooling it a sacrifice but so worth it , you manage your family life and it’s peaceful and rewarding.but you also det connected with other homeschooling parents that’s essential, God bless you guys your amazing, 🇨🇦
Shawn, thank you SO much for saying 1-2 was the hardest for you because I am in the thick of it right now and I feel like anyone I talk to doesn’t really talk about this or they just group them into toddlerhood as they were the same as a 3 year old. Definitely not the case! 😂
I feel like the newborn stage is all its own…. Like 0-2 months.
And I think you guys are right, the early years are the hardest and scariest. I’m a mom of 6 with only one left who is under 18. It gets easier as you go, in my opinion.
I am a single mom and have been for 30 years. I raised my son completely solo, meaning his dad left and never came back and never paid a penny of child support. I’m proud to say my son is now 34, married, and a successful Engineer. If I can live through every stage by myself, and ended up with with a son who is upper educated with his degree in Electrical Engineering, so can YOU!!
p.s. I notice you often say you have “a baby and 2 toddlers.” A 5 year old isn’t a toddler.
*What phase are you in with parenting* Well, for me I am now a single parent because my husband passed away 2 years ago and I continue to homeschool my son. It is up to me to take care of the house and property and my child and myself. All is good, though for now. Kids will always test you! That’s a given, but being consistent will pay off. They will try to push the limits, but stay firm with what is important to protect them. Flex on the things that are non-consequential. Put God first, pray for your child and ask Him for direction when you don’t know what to do. I have found over and over throughout my life that God never fails to come through when I need Him.
I was just thinking today 🤯🤯🤯 The first year of life is the ONLY time a human can look sooo different..but then nope 🙅♀️ from 1 to 2 . Look at your 1 year old the day they turn 1 then at 22 months
It's mind blowing. The best agesn for me were 1 to 6. Hardest was 7 to 17. LOL. Once they pass the 18 mark you have this whole new relationship as adults. School age is the absolute hardest stage.
Boundaries keep kids safe and teach kids how to make boundaries with others as an adult.
I had 3 boys. The first 2 were 18 months apart and the 3rd was 5 years later. We lived in the country and I was home with them all the time. Sometimes at night I would go scoop manure just to have a mental break while Dad could be with them. 😂
I look back at those times and how precious it was. I wish I could live through all of that again. My oldest will be 50 next year. Where in the world did the time go?
I loved the book, “Shepherding a Child” but I don’t remember the author.
What kind of hormonal changes do men have after a baby is born?
After a baby is born, men experience hormonal changes as well, particularly involving testosterone and oxytocin. Testosterone levels in men may decrease, while oxytocin, known as the "love hormone," tends to increase, promoting bonding and caregiving behaviors towards the newborn and their partner. These hormonal shifts help men adapt to their new role as fathers and enhance their nurturing instincts.
Where are you from?
Our youngest was born the day after bear and I swear 9-18m is such a surreal stage. So fleeting and I plan to soak up every single second of this because I’m pretty sure it’s my last 😢 but my oldest is 5 and although she’s sassy I love seeing her become a “kid” and not a toddler and having such mature moments with her. Our middle daughter is 3 and I must say, 3 is HARD 😅 but she’s so spunky and funny that it helps outweigh the emotions of 3. 💕💕
(And as far as fear: my biggest fear of littles is choking and with my bigger 2 having all these small toys and dropping snacks and such and a now crawling baby I’m on high alert) 😮
Why am I tearing up when I have a six month old? 🥺
I have a 6, 4, and 2 year old and its never ending still. The having them help. I just can't do it. I want too. But have zero time as i only get 1 day to get everything done. I'm trying to figure out how to allow myself for them to help.😢
The Brain isnt fully developed until 25 years old.
And every trauma makes it stop for a while, so it can be fully developed until even later.
It goes by way to fast. One minute they are babies and blink and they are all grown up.
Yikes, this was kind of depressing. Interesting, but depressing.
Those Numbers (11 & 12) are silly but wait until you start teaching them to read 😵💫 I said to my husband I feel like you basically just have to learn 90% of the English language as sight words 🤦🏻♀️
Thanks everyone ❤🎉
Our youngest was born the day after bear and I swear 9-18m is such a surreal stage. So fleeting and I plan to soak up every single second of this because I’m pretty sure it’s my last 😢 but my oldest is 5 and although she’s sassy I love seeing her become a “kid” and not a toddler and having such mature moments with her. Our middle daughter is 3 and I must say, 3 is HARD 😅 but she’s so spunky and funny that it helps outweigh the emotions of 3. 💕💕
(And as far as fear: my biggest fear of littles is choking and with my bigger 2 having all these small toys and dropping snacks and such and a now crawling baby I’m on high alert) 😮