The OP seems like a good person but very easily manipulated. Every person in that update emotionally manipulated him. I also have my doubts on the sisters actually forfeiting their future inheritance as repayment. They will probably convince the OP that doing so would be taking money from the nieces or something.
The OP would be wise not to have much to do with his parents or sisters. They were all parties to stealing the money his grandparents left to him for his education. It is nice not to hate, but they are very manipulative, and have shown themselves to be extremely untrustworthy. He won't inherit anything from his parents because they will be sure to pull something else down the line. There might not be a huge amount to inherit anyway, because it sounds as if the family business is struggling, and may not worth much. I wonder whether his family would have been so keen to reconnect with him if he hadn't (by his own efforts) landed on his feet? Poor relations are sometimes less popular than prosperous ones.
Where are the fathers of all these kids... Holy crap, what a manipulative fiance. She wanted to wait until after the wedding. And he is still marrying that...
I’m slightly confused. OP keeps talking about his fiancé, but several times then referred to him as “she”. Maybe OP simply doesn’t understand that if he says he has a fiancé he is saying he’s marrying a man, and if he has changed his mind and will be marrying a woman then she is his fiancée. That’s the same thing as the difference between blond (m) and blonde (f). French words borrowed into English, for those who wonder.
I hope he has a prenup in place. That fiance just disregarded everything he wanted and was going to wait till after the wedding to tell him? This marriage isn't going to last.
Yeah. I already thought when she was pushing so hard that she was already in contact with them, but all he's done here is taught her if there's enough emotional manipulation by enough people she'll get away with it. You shouldn't be p*ssing all over your partner's boundaries like this. I could understand her asking him for the full story or encouraging him to go to counselling but it really should have been HIS choice about contact.
I love how they spent money on gifts and sending stuff, but they refused to put any of that cash into the trust fund. I'd also bet they didn't return any of those gifts, either, just used them for themselves.
Exactly, they are heavy on the tears and gestures. When it comes to even putting a regular token amount back into the trust they are totally incapable...
Yes! That's what I thought. I wonder if they went on vacations, bought each other gifts, etc. Ate out often. They want a relationship with OP (so they say) but were they willing to sacrifice any of their comfort of luxuries to add money back in that account? "Let's only buy the grand kids gifts this Christmas. The rest of us will put money into OP's inheritance account." "Is it OP's birthday? Let's put money in his account in lieu of a gift since he isn't talking to us." "I really want to see so and so in concert, but I owe OP money so I wont do that. Let me put X amount in instead." I'm going to guess mom and sisters went about life as usual waiting for OP to just forgive them because they're family.
It might be wrong of me, but all that drama attitude and "blabla" family comes first while they keep doing the crap they were doing, makes me think they are Italian. Lol. 😅
Charon Dusk especially since some of the money (supposedly) paid for those kids’ upbringing it’s like flipping a big ol’ middle finger in OP’s face 😤😤😤
I would politely refuse to talk to them and say that that kind of manipulation was inaceptable. Also I would demand a written recognition of the debt if the money wasn't returned.
Maybe it's just me, but could dead ass say to the nieces "Your drunk ass mom got bailed out with my trust fund. Your grandma always played favorites with your mom and aunt and left me out in the cold. Yeah, I hate all of you."
Story 1: WOW that is one emotionally manipulative mess OP is in. Not only the family but the fiance too... bringing her parents in on this as their flying monkey and everything. Also the sisters are a real treat, bringing the nieces, barging into the work office and admitting that they know it is the only way they would be listened to... Honestly the only person I would have reconciled with would be the dad, there would probably not be a relationship like before ever again but at least talking. For the fiance I would have at least postponed the wedding and demanded couples counseling.
That father was in on the lie that they would replenish it in 2 years. Plus it seems he made absolutely no attempt to replenish it. I can understand if things were tough for all of them but a token payment every month by each of them since then would have shown an effort to make things right. Coupled with evidence of how much they were able to put away for the purpose I'd have forgiven them if they put in some real effort. There seemed to be none of that. Father can F Off as well.
@@theuglykwan True... There is so much he could have done in all these years to simply show willingness to fix things. Aside from OP and the nieces that were coerced by the sisters, everyone here is TA
Crying when you get caught and begging for forgiveness doesn't cut it, dad. He's almost the worst one because he took no responsibility to correct this betrayal and projected guilt on every one else. What a man NOT! I bet down the road the parents will as OP for money in their old age. And the schmuck will probably give it to them.
@@theuglykwan I have to agree. Words are cheap. My dad taught me at an early age that "sorry" wasn't enough - what good does that do? It's just words. Does it fix anything? This is a case where actions could have been taken to at least partially fix things. No mention of even ONE PENNY put back to fix anything. That right there speaks volumes.
Op should dump family and fiance and go no contact with all of them until he gets a 100,000 plus interest. Then take the money and continue to be no contact. They don't deserve him in their lives. One of the sister's had a DUI? The only reason she still had and has kids is because she didn't have to pay the lawsuit off. The sister should thank OP for her kid(s).
Good take; she definitely plans on NO payment. In which case OP, who's too good(?)/soft for his own good, should go back to lawyers and get the business. In fact, he should have had papers drawn to mortgage the business to him with a specific foreclosure date to "motivate" his family to move their behinds and work to pay him. Should he end up with the business, he MUST fire his parents and sisters; leave his close friends and other relatives but keep a close eye on them.
@@TechnoMageB5 ( I have dislexia sorry for any miss spellings) Okay lets see the wife who has the mind set of "ThEy ArE FaMiLy YoU CaNt Be MaD aT fAmIlY" Went behind his back so she can tell people " I reunied him with his family" He should have dropped her I can't imagine the person who you are suppose to love and trust stab you in the bad as hard as she did (Other than cheating or actually stabbing you in the back with a knife) then the fucking sisters USE THEIR KIDS to guilt trip him and they are still trying to manipulate him into forgiving his shit of a mother. They aren't innocent they are just as bad as the mum because they are accomplices to what she did. If there's a group and they go to rob someone and one of them shoots and kills the victim they would all be trilled for murder not as harsh as the one who pulled the trigger but still they are NOT innocent. And the dad he is a failure as a parent he failed his son if what he said was true who chose his wife to protect her when he KNEW it was wrong and there's nothing he can do to changed it he failed to protect his own child and he cant fix that. I don't agree with what OP did and you might not agree with what I think but all I know is that if you have shit people in your life regardless if they are blood or not drop them if it makes you happy and don't fall for guilt trips
All depends where you live. I set up a trust for my niece when she was 7 and her mom tried for years to get it. After the 5th time of pissing off the Trustee she call me and i told her to call the cops next time. My ex SIL was told if she tried to get it again she would be arrested for fraud and wire fraud (she pretended to be me the last time). My niece is now 29 with a PHD a nice house and all debt free and she has not spoken to her mom since she was 18. Sow shall ye sow so shall ye reap!
There are laws, but if OPs parents were the trustees, they could have ILLEGALLY drained his trust. OP chose not to pursue legal action against his parents. His money. His choice, but it wouldn't have been my choice.
Even when put into a bank account, over in the USA, parents have access to the account - over here, children can open bank accounts, but in the form of little books that only the account holder can take money out of - nothing to stop them paying it in in any branch of that bank - but only the account holder can draw money out - and from the branch where it’s held, usually - bit problematic when your branch is in Scotland and you are on holiday in Margate!
@@arthurvasey I assume you mean for Teens Accounts (ages 16 to 17) because that is the only time a parent can legally go into there kids accounts and withdraw funds. Once the kid is 18, he can open a new account and he's the only one who has access to it (unless he/she gives someone permission to have access to their account)
OP needs to put a lien on their properties so when the parents die, OP gets his money back. They can keep their store and house, but not drain equity out of it. Don't trust a will that can be amended. And F the fiance. I'd dump her over the betrayal. There are lots of woman out there who would love OP to pieces and not betray his boundaries and trust. He sounds like a good guy.
Fiancee used the classic manipulative tactic of asking for forgiveness, rather than permission, when she contacted the family and met with them. She KNEW he didn't want it, but she put herself and her own values above him. Why he would forgive her is beyond me. Why he'd marry someone whose go-to strategy is manipulation is sad. Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn the hard way, just like he did with his parents, that people who are not trustworthy will eventually and inevitably screw you over by putting their own interests over yours. And, let's not forget how manipulative the sisters were for using the nieces to force him to speak to them. His entire family is full of manipulative and selfish people, so not surprising his fiancee is the same.
Yeah this one made me pretty mad, he’s in for some pain in the future. Blows my mind he can say they blatantly manipulated him and he yielded like it was the right thing to do. The fiancé admitted she was going to wait till after the wedding in hopes that it would be too late to call things off, that is so fucked, and the sisters brought their kids to ask him if he hates them, equally as fucked. This dude is gonna be leeched on for the success he was able to make for himself, it’s not about the money anymore it’s about parasites and he failed to purge them.
Exactly. I could not believe the nerve of his fiancé, admitting that she was planning to tell him AFTER the wedding (and bringing her parents into this mess)...because....what can you do after the marriage? You have no choice!! That s a crappy attitude. I don t even want to know what she is planning after the marriage. She prioritizes marriage over relationship and she doesn't have a problem admitting that
@@επιθετικόακτινιδιο yea, she knew his boundaries and was aware that he would break up with her, but she did it anyways! Stupid of her to think she would be safe after marriage 😳🤦🏼♀️ so many stories of people divorcing right after the wedding!
What is with these significant others wanting to force people into a toxic relationship because “family?” This concept of needing to reconcile with people that are so awful is ridiculous. Life is too short to surround yourself with toxic people. And he better be careful with his sisters. They will totally ambush him with their mom.
@@charondusk5608 that mindset never made sense to me. I can understand looking the other way in small situations, like a family member accidentally leaving the dog out for too long, or leaving the car on, causing the battery to die, meaning you have to wait a few hours to recharge it. Spending $100,000 of someone's inheritance isn't something small enough to just be looked away from.
It will make me seem bitter, but i think she is one of those happy people who cant or wont understand toxic relationship. Happy and content individuals are often the most callous in my opinion. I have met several, these are the people who get angry when a survivor of child abuse decided to go NC to their abuser, because "no matter what, they are your parents". They live a happy live, surrounded by kind people so sometimes cant fathoms why others dont.
@@moonwillow5420 Bingo! What this boils down to is her total lack of empathy. The fiance never felt what OP is dealing with. But empathetic people CAN put themselves in others shoes. She can't, and that's one scary reality check.
Sorry, but OP in the first story is...well, too forgiving for his own good. The fiance went behind his back to meet his family EVEN AFTER HE EXPLICITLY SAID NOT TO, and should've been dumped then and there for lying and betraying OP's trust. Look at the fact she's still pushing OP to meet with his mother and tell me that she won't try something like this again in the future... The sisters used emotional manipulation in the form of OP's nieces in order to even get him to see them and then continued to use that manipulation in order to get OP to forgive them (Seriously, the whole "Are you mad at us?" thing from the nieces? If that wasn't coached by their mothers, I will be very surprised). Also pushing for OP to forgive the mother after saying it was "all her fault" is suspicious AF. As for the dad....I WANT to believe he was against the whole thing, but there's a part of me saying that he's lying as well and just throwing the mother under the bus in order to get back in OP's life because he's jealous of how close OP is with his future FIL. Honestly, he's the only one I'm even close to believing here. Fact of the matter is, they've got their feet in the door and will now start to whittle OP down until he finally gives in to the emotional blackmail and forgives his mother, too.
I’d call him moronic personally, like showing up with their offspring, who his parents allege a lot of the money paid for, is no different than flipping a big middle finger in OP’s face! The dad I _kind of_ understand, but letting the sisters weasel their ways back in after OP said aloud “why make me pay for their mistakes” along with said mistakes? We’ll get an update before too long saying all’s well with mom again too 😒😒😒
@@LadyLeomon Bet it'll be fiancee cheated, gaslighted him & took half of everything in the divorce. Family store is in dire financial straights & they manipulate him into losing his business in order to save them & he's wondering how it all happened. Dumbass is kind of a doormat.
@@LadyLeomon Should have told nieces that "I don't come around because your mommies stole a bunch of money from me, and I'm not giving them the chance to do it again."
@@LadyLeomon I am honestly expecting an update where the mom turns up at the wedding because the sisters and fiance invited her behind OP's back. As bad as I feel for the kids in this, because they are literally being used as pawns in this family's sick game, he should've turned his back on them because he even ADMITS that he knew they were just using the kids to get to him....Complete and utter doormat.
Holy manipulation Batman. Starting with the fiancee. I really hope OP at a minimum, postponed the wedding. Turning on the waterworks is not good enough, she needs to face consequences. Sisters made sure to bring their nieces, wow. If daddy hadn't been a simp, he wouldn't have almost lost his son. OP needs to be on his guard. I don't think the sisters, or even the fiancee, have shown they can be trusted.
First story: Personally speaking its more about the principle than the money, they were more than willing to take and not ask and such individuals are not to be trusted.
First Story: How easy they threw the mom under the bus when it finally came down to it. Show how much love's really in this family if she's all it took for battle lines to be drawn. Second Story: Why couldn't he just leave when the dogs were getting close!?
First story , I wouldn’t trust the sisters saying they will give whatever money 💰 they get after the parents death. If moms soooo bad at spending could be none of them will get any money after mom and dad die
I think the issue why he didn't sue them was because some of his close friends work at his family business. So if he would to sue them then I would assume that they would go bankrupt and close down the business. He did say he didn't want to be the one to bring his family company down in the story.
@@brigidtheirish Yes it is, a trust fund is basically a legal document saying that when someone becomes of age you have to give him/her the money that was left to them (The Original Amount). If the trustee was to spend any of the trust funds like the crappy mother did, then you can sue them for Theft or Grand Larceny I believe. The amount stolen will dictate how much jail time you could face (each states varies on the punishment) so for this story, the mother could have been looking up to anywhere from 7 to 15 years in prison.
@@TheKnightofAwesomeness Re: the business: that's an easy fix - or is it? Turn over appropriate shares to OP. Maybe even a controlling share. The employees and customers don't have to suffer - just the family who wronged him. Sounded like OP didn't want to get into that, though - imagine being turned over a controlling interest, possible outcomes: 1) OP now has to run that AND his landscaping business. Too easy to get stretched thin. 2) OP owns the grocery store but lets parents and sisters still run it. They're not motivated anymore because it's no longer theirs, so it gets run into the ground. Also bad for OP. 3) OP sells it. Now some big chain owns it, and friends/family working there are pissed at OP. 4) Same as #2, but friends and family continue working happily and nothing else changes. UNLIKELY.
Story 1: Op shouldn’t forgive them ever, they took advantage of him. His sisters are manipulative and now that they have used the money they want forgiveness. He was too soft on his “family”.
OP is never going to see that money again. You're telling me that in 8 years... the mom, dad, and sisters did not even attempt to slowly pay off the 100K they owed him?!. Effort speaks a lot even if the amount is small. If you think about it... $1000 (split 4 ways) a month x 8 years = 96K. Are you telling me 4 people who run their own store in a town cannot provide $250 a month each to pay back OP? I'm not sure I would have forgiving those sisters either. They used their children to manipulate OP into speaking with them and admitted it. The money was used to bail them out. They have a responsibility to chip in and pay it off. A promise of their portion of inheritance once the parents die dont mean sh*t. In 30-40 yrs ... people can change their minds or the parents might not even consider it. OP shouldn't have forgiven the sisters or dad. Dad helped cover it up. if dad felt super guilty then how did it end up taking 8 yrs to fess up. Oh and the fiance... either the fiance is manipulative or was manipulated. hard to say. I would keep an eye out on her.
Agree with all you said, however the father couldn't fess up as OP wouldn't communicate with him. Even letters were returned unopened. I could forgive him for taking the blame with the mother but like you said he made no attempt to pay back the fund, same with the rest of them. Even a token amount each month would have indicated some remorse and effort. Plus, he was guilty of the additional 2 year delay tactic lie. Guessing they knew they couldn't get 95k in 2 years but chose to tell the lie anyway to hurt OP some more, for what? To delay the day of reckoning so he wouldn't have to face the music there and then?
@@theuglykwan There are other methods of communication even if letters were sent back unopened. Especially in person at the 2 yr mark when OP saw them. Makes me want to know how many years did it take for the dad (and the rest of the family) to realize OP wasn't kidding. That this wont blow over as fast as they thought it would. I doubt they felt guilty at all in the beginning. ...especially depending on OP's personality. Was he usually quick to forgive and understand or not at all? Did the dad felt guilty at first for lying and covering for mom or did that feeling come when a year or two passed and OP still didnt forgive or initiate contact? Did he feel depressed about the lie or did he feel depressed on the relationship he missed out on when what he thought was a bump in the road turned out to be an 8 year long FU guys (+jealously over relationship with FIL).
@@KurenaiKimitsu From the way things turned out, it sounds like the OP was/is the type to forgive readily and he has a good heart. What a shame to waste it on that family.
Nine of them tried to pay back because none of them take any accountability for their disgusting deeds. They are all selfish, entitled AHs who squandered their own inheritances, racked up bills through bad decisions (like DUIs), and continue to STEAL money that was never theirs. They have no morals or ethics. You can’t expect more from them, obviously.
Honestly, they still were accomplices and the sisters basically manipulated their way into forgiveness. I truly hope he is mostly doing this to mess with his trash of a mother and keeps them low contact until he gets his money back.
@@packergeek10 agreed. No forgiveness, no forgetting, no quarter, no mercy. In my experience, those who say “Forgive and Forget” or even “Forgive” are the ones who are least likely to practice it themselves, and least likely deserve it themselves.
First OP is way too easily manipulated and forgiving . He should have followed through on his threat of dumping his fiancée when she overstepped his boundaries, closeness with her family or not. I would have said sorry to her parents but she betrayed me and I won't share my life with someone who goes behind my back and can't respect my feelings. Heartfelt apology or not she knew exactly how OP felt but contacted his family anyway which led to his family doing everything to get back into his life. The sisters used their daughters to get to him which would have only infuriated me even more. I would have kept my stance that until the money is paid there will not be a relationship . I would not have trusted them in their promise of their inheritance as it is likely they will again try to use manipulation to go back on that promise.
I feel bad for OP in story 1. He is being manipulated by everyone included the nieces. They are used as pawns. OP needs to read comments that nothing is resolved with family or the fiance. They are still emotionally manipulating him.
The first story reminds me of the phrase "Give them an inch, they'll take a mile." According to OP, it doesn't sound like they understand why he cut contact in the first place and are just wanting him to forgive and forget for either the "sake of family" or to alleviate their guilt. Now that he updated the boundaries, it feels like they're trying to push them again.
OP needs to get a lawyer and put his family on a payment plan. These people are master manipulators and will delay making this right to their dying day and beyond.
i dont even think its about the money for this dude anymore, its the mere fact the he was betrayed by the single most important thing in his life, a family...
Whatever these people did to get back into OP's life, it worked. He caved and he still don't have the money. I hope I am around to read his update a year from now. I am thinking those sisters will be asking him for more money, especially if he continue to do well financially.
Op let the sisters off too easy, they benefitted from the money, the manipulated him with his nieces, the future wife is untrustworthy as he literally told her not to one to do one thing and she still did it His entire family should be filling that trust
OP is a kindred spirit after my own heart, but I feel for him because they used the kids to manipulate him. The fact that they took the nieces to his place of work showed just how much this was planned.
Story 1:if this fiance don't shut up she gonna be an ex fiance Emotional manipulation and the amount of toxicity bro run why are you still with her or her family or yours you dummy Let's see using the nieces for forgiveness Ambushing you at work Fiance going behind you back Fiance still pushing when it wasn't her affected Fiance not knowing boundaries and will press in future forgiving people who stole from you because they feel bad
Something similar happened to me. My brother received his college fund but my first semester my parents got a divorce and my dad he used it as part of the divorce. I asked mom if I could have what was promised but she said no. I noticed she had bought an expensive car with the money. Our relationship ended after that. I did work my way through and taught many life lessons. This was better than money in hindsight.
"We're willing to give you any inheritance we receive from mom and dad to make up for the money we stole" Wait, so the siblings legitimately thinks they'll just wait for their parents to die to make things right? How is that line of thought okay? Why can't they bust their collective asses and deposit back like 50bucks per person each month at least instead? What the actual fuck.
Story 1 I can’t believe that op forgive his fiancée so easily like that. She committed a *HUGE* violation of trust and I had expected him to put their engagement on hold at the very most.
Love your videos as they always have updates, and you always go above and beyond to make sure we always have the fully story. Story 1: OP should cut his mom out of his life. Take the money back (if he ever gets it back which I doubt) and never have a relationship with the mom. And everyone needs to stop trying to push OP to see his mom. Story 2: there’s always one grumpy neighbour.
Betrayed by family and stolen from, no forgiveness for any of them and lawsuit to get all money back. Betrayed by fiancee, marriage off and done for breaking trust and being sneaky behind back with former family. I could not forgive any of that.
This poor dratsaB. He has been emotionally manipulated by everyone in his life, including his fiance and his future father-in-law. His sisters even weaponized their kids to wear him down. What the fiance did? I'd have dumped her straight out for that. That was a serious breach of trust that would damage the relationship as much as his whipping out his junk for another woman or her spreading It for another man. She even said she wanted to wait until after the marriage because then she'd be tied to him like a ball and chain! I'm honestly disgusted for him. smh.
I think I would hold a much stronger grudge if that happens to me in the first story, I would move a lawsuit against them, and in the moment they appeared in the office like that, I would first ask them to leave, if they refused, I would've called security or the police.
How is it even possible for the parents to spend the money from a trust fund without any type of legal ramifications? Usually a trust is locked until the trustee comes of age.
Ops sisters had years to pay money back. Mom also had years. Only one who suffered in this was OP and the father. Sisters just gladly reaped the rewards until it backfired, then threw Mother under the bus to get their brother back.
I wonder if being a doormat is something you're born with, or if it grows over time. OP has learnt nothing and is allowing his family, who show zero remorse and his fiance to walk all over him.
I kinda want to hear the mom’s “side” of the story. I’d love to hear her delusional account of why/how she raised two daughters who not only blew through their own inheritance, but then made poor life decisions that the mother somehow felt she should pay for using her son’s money. I want to hear her delusional denial that she plays favorites with her kids. I want to hear her delusional reasoning for given her 18 year old daughters the entirety of their $100k with no plan to ensure they were going to spend it wisely.
The fact that for several years the parents (who own a business!) couldn’t even be bothered to put $100/month into paying back the money they stole from the trust shows that they weren’t serious about making amends. Not only that, but they spent MORE of the money!
I don’t understand how he can forgive his sisters. They’re are the ones who spent the money the mom is the one who pulled it out of the bank. Well mom probably spent some too but seems like most went to the sisters. I would want to know if the sisters knew they were spending his inheritance while they were spending it or if they found out after the fact, had they known where the money came from I would not forgive them. The dad seems like the only true innocent one. The sisters are just as guilty as the mom why forgive them?
Going off the fact that they were there one the night OP was told about the money being gone, I'm hedging my bets that they did indeed know it was his inheritance they were using. As for why he forgave them, that's sadly pretty simple to see: They used his love of their kids to basically emotionally manipulate him, having them tug on his heartstrings with the whole "Are you mad at us?" shtick whilst giving him someone else to focus his anger on.
First story, Since none of OP's family has tried to pay back any of the money they stole from him they are not truly sorry for what they did. OP should at least get his sisters & father to sign a contract giving any inheritance they get to OP & his father should also guarantee all of his belongings go to only his son once he dies. They should also paying OP back their own by automatic paycheck withdrawal to make it right. OP is too nice, as soon as he found out his girl contacted his family she would be disowned as well.
story 1: i think he's still being played by is family, the where all involved in spending the money, they're just throughing the mom under the bus and making themselves look good
"Nice" in this case, equates to being a fool for being manipulated. Everyone figured the Cx to being an easy mark - including the fiancée. The OP is enabling this behavior: they (the parents and sisters) need to be sued for grand theft - and the fiance needs to divorced.
I'll never understand how ANY parent can treat one child like garbage to give others a safety net but expect that child to just let it go because they are FAMILY.
I have no clue why OP is forgiving everybody here. His sisters are like: Yeah we went to college and traveled the world on your dime, but we didn't actually physically take the money out of your trust. Mom did and handed the money to us. The sisters KNEW where the money came from and spent it happily!! Dad is the only one I could understand forgiving as he didn't know till after the fact. Even then, I would have a hard time forgiving his part in this. OP is totally spineless in this story, which is quite upsetting to me! He just let everyone walk all over him, including his fiancee and her family! What a jellyfish!!
I would have taken my parents and siblings to court. I also would break up with that stupid fiancé for being such a treacherous swine. As for the store, the parents will lose it anyway, probably to bail out their spoiled daughters AGAIN.
OP should have made them sell the business, the debts the parents incur and the consequences of legal action against them are theirs alone, he is entitled to the money they stole from him.
OP being emotionally manipulated, it was terrible that his family used his money and the way he acted by going nc was completely understandable but for him to let everyone back in his life because they apologised and blamed everything on his mother (they must have known where the money was coming from), and instantly forgive his fiancée for going against his explicit decision, he deserves all he gets - “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Have them all locked up or sell the store ! Because they have stolen from your trust. Make sure your sister are fired from your store! Siezes the store with a lean today .
1. Op got played by everyone INCLUDING his fiancé. None of them cared about his future, feelings, or boundaries. Stupid.. 100,000xs stupid. In the end they all got what they wanted. I mean except op. He's still assed out with a meddling inconsiderate wife to be.
Hold off for 2 years so they can replenish it... were they even in any position to get 95k to replenish it? That was a cruel delaying tactic so they could put off the day of reckoning as they didn't have the balls to face the music then and there. 2 years later would have been worse for OP if he counted on that money or it otherwise affected his plans for his future. I love how the mother made the husband take joint blame for it. Because OP disowning her wasn't enough, it was better the father was disowned as well? Why did father go along with the 2 year to rebuild the fund lie? I can see him standing with his wife to own the fund being spent but the continued lying? That wasn't so easily wiped clean. After all these years the fund never increased but actually decreased. They were soooooo sorry but didn't even make a token effort that within their means to increase it? Quick to turn on the tears, slow to take substantive action. The sisters thought the end justified the means with their manipulation. That should tell OP how trustworthy they are and how they will not respect his boundaries. His fiance is also a boundary stomper.
The only way to get rid of the resentment is for each family members to start making regular payments into the trust. Even if it never gets rebuilt to the amount it had been but some thing.
For Story 1: I'm glad that the fiancée didn't get too emotional to where resentment might be planted there. I hope that OP will live his life and improve a lot as time goes on 🙏🏿
This OP is repeatedly played like a $7 fiddle. Every member of his family knows this fact and how easily he is manipulated. Including his fiancée. They know exactly what to do to get their own way. They are slowly wearing him down; so their consequences for their actions are minimized for them. OP deserves better than this. OP’s Dad may feel bad about how he deceived his son by covering for his wife, so maybe he will think twice before betraying OP, in the future. But also, maybe not. I would honestly rid myself of all of these leeches. Including the fiancee. She admitted openly that she was going to tell OP after the wedding, not before, so that she could legally trap him.
I feel bad for OP but he is very easy to manipulate, if i was him id cut contact with the family and break up with the fiance, the fact she went behind his back to meet with his family even after he told her no is literally a big betrayel of trust.
I was injured in a car accident and got a little money for pay and suffering. 5,000 dollars in a trust through the court. My mom spent the next six months trying to figure out how to get her hands on it, which she did eventually, through fraud. I think the court figured it out though, because she left a very high paying job pretty quickly
Dad cries a lot but has not put a single penny back into his account. Sisters sure are sorry, but have not put a single dime back into his account. Poor OP. He's making a mistake by forgiving them.
Story 1: It's not healthy to hold on to animosity like that, but there are ways to find resolution, forgiveness and reparations by putting the victims needs first rather than everyone else milking the situation for their own profit. OP was played like a harp by his fiancé and EVERYBODY else. They all suddenly ramped up the emotional blackmail of OP with a multi-pronged approach as they had a deadline, the wedding. Did the sisters say no, don't take OP's money? Nope, its not clear if they knew, but it's not clear that they didn't know either. And that "Don't you love us anymore?" sting from the nibblings was definitely part of the plan. So in future he'll inherit the business he doesn't want and still be on the hook to provide jobs to his siblings and college money to his nibblings. I don't think he has that in writing either... their word doesn't count. Dad says he didn't know, but he knew before OP and made no efforts to replace any of the money in that whole time then or since. Mum is the official ringleader and scapegoat but they are ALL responsible - between 4 adults no one tried to make him whole. And his fiancé, geeeez! She friended them on FB, met them and kicked off the emotional manipulation by using their relationship as leverage - looks like her future MIL has trained her well! I'm not saying they should split, but I'd postpone the wedding and get couples counselling because she's learned this behaviour works! I pity OP, he's surrounded by people who drain him emotionally and fiscally 'for his own good' aka their benefit, rather than support him. He now has 100 problems! Story 2: OP was a prick! '3 feet' is too close to let your dog get to anyone. And they feel they have the right to try to intentionally trigger someone's allergies because they're butthurt? HE needs to stay away from public areas because YOU can't control your dog in public areas? Dafuq?!! No, it's not a good idea to kick a dog, but how did the old guy know how long your leash was or whether or not he needed to defend himself from an uncontrolled dog?! I bloody hate it when dog owners do that, no matter the size of dog! 😤 These two stories triggered me. Rant over!
The OP seems like a good person but very easily manipulated. Every person in that update emotionally manipulated him. I also have my doubts on the sisters actually forfeiting their future inheritance as repayment. They will probably convince the OP that doing so would be taking money from the nieces or something.
How much inheritance could they possibly have if the parents are too broke to pay any of the money back? That was an empty promise right there.
@@debl3063 They have a business with 50 employees!
I felt manipulated just listening to it. OP is so desperate for loving family he’ll forgive anything from either side.
True - and he should have had that forfeiture made official through a solicitor.
The OP would be wise not to have much to do with his parents or sisters. They were all parties to stealing the money his grandparents left to him for his education. It is nice not to hate, but they are very manipulative, and have shown themselves to be extremely untrustworthy. He won't inherit anything from his parents because they will be sure to pull something else down the line. There might not be a huge amount to inherit anyway, because it sounds as if the family business is struggling, and may not worth much.
I wonder whether his family would have been so keen to reconnect with him if he hadn't (by his own efforts) landed on his feet? Poor relations are sometimes less popular than prosperous ones.
Where are the fathers of all these kids...
Holy crap, what a manipulative fiance. She wanted to wait until after the wedding. And he is still marrying that...
That she’s still the fiancée and not _ex-fiancée_ is honestly baffling to me 😒😒😒
@@LadyLeomon same here
He asked her to do one very specific thing...
Good to see I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'd so NOPE out of there.
I’m slightly confused. OP keeps talking about his fiancé, but several times then referred to him as “she”. Maybe OP simply doesn’t understand that if he says he has a fiancé he is saying he’s marrying a man, and if he has changed his mind and will be marrying a woman then she is his fiancée. That’s the same thing as the difference between blond (m) and blonde (f). French words borrowed into English, for those who wonder.
I hope he has a prenup in place. That fiance just disregarded everything he wanted and was going to wait till after the wedding to tell him? This marriage isn't going to last.
I hope OP bails on the wedding.
Yeah. I already thought when she was pushing so hard that she was already in contact with them, but all he's done here is taught her if there's enough emotional manipulation by enough people she'll get away with it. You shouldn't be p*ssing all over your partner's boundaries like this. I could understand her asking him for the full story or encouraging him to go to counselling but it really should have been HIS choice about contact.
So true..
I would have broken up with the fiance. Waaaaay too much of a betrayal for me.
Me too, its a violation of trust.
Same here. If she's willing to go behind his back over something this big, she'll do it over other stuff, too.
She's *almost* as bad as his parents, but it's really close. He should cut his losses with all these losers.
Keep in mind, she did this while not yet married to him. Wives are more brazen.
I don't even understand why she went behind his back like this. Like why?
I love how they spent money on gifts and sending stuff, but they refused to put any of that cash into the trust fund. I'd also bet they didn't return any of those gifts, either, just used them for themselves.
Exactly, they are heavy on the tears and gestures. When it comes to even putting a regular token amount back into the trust they are totally incapable...
Yes! That's what I thought. I wonder if they went on vacations, bought each other gifts, etc. Ate out often. They want a relationship with OP (so they say) but were they willing to sacrifice any of their comfort of luxuries to add money back in that account?
"Let's only buy the grand kids gifts this Christmas. The rest of us will put money into OP's inheritance account." "Is it OP's birthday? Let's put money in his account in lieu of a gift since he isn't talking to us." "I really want to see so and so in concert, but I owe OP money so I wont do that. Let me put X amount in instead."
I'm going to guess mom and sisters went about life as usual waiting for OP to just forgive them because they're family.
Just what I was thinking. Send all spare money to the trust fund.
It might be wrong of me, but all that drama attitude and "blabla" family comes first while they keep doing the crap they were doing, makes me think they are Italian. Lol. 😅
I hope OP had drawn that with agreement with a lawyer involved.
Bring the nieces where a emotional manipulation time is it and I wouldn’t agree to anything until the money is turned over immediately
My thoughts exactly. Bringing those kids was manipulation of the highest degree.
Charon Dusk especially since some of the money (supposedly) paid for those kids’ upbringing it’s like flipping a big ol’ middle finger in OP’s face 😤😤😤
I would politely refuse to talk to them and say that that kind of manipulation was inaceptable. Also I would demand a written recognition of the debt if the money wasn't returned.
Maybe it's just me, but could dead ass say to the nieces "Your drunk ass mom got bailed out with my trust fund. Your grandma always played favorites with your mom and aunt and left me out in the cold. Yeah, I hate all of you."
Story 1: WOW that is one emotionally manipulative mess OP is in. Not only the family but the fiance too... bringing her parents in on this as their flying monkey and everything. Also the sisters are a real treat, bringing the nieces, barging into the work office and admitting that they know it is the only way they would be listened to...
Honestly the only person I would have reconciled with would be the dad, there would probably not be a relationship like before ever again but at least talking.
For the fiance I would have at least postponed the wedding and demanded couples counseling.
That father was in on the lie that they would replenish it in 2 years. Plus it seems he made absolutely no attempt to replenish it. I can understand if things were tough for all of them but a token payment every month by each of them since then would have shown an effort to make things right. Coupled with evidence of how much they were able to put away for the purpose I'd have forgiven them if they put in some real effort.
There seemed to be none of that. Father can F Off as well.
@@theuglykwan True... There is so much he could have done in all these years to simply show willingness to fix things.
Aside from OP and the nieces that were coerced by the sisters, everyone here is TA
Crying when you get caught and begging for forgiveness doesn't cut it, dad. He's almost the worst one because he took no responsibility to correct this betrayal and projected guilt on every one else. What a man NOT! I bet down the road the parents will as OP for money in their old age. And the schmuck will probably give it to them.
@@theuglykwan I have to agree. Words are cheap. My dad taught me at an early age that "sorry" wasn't enough - what good does that do? It's just words. Does it fix anything?
This is a case where actions could have been taken to at least partially fix things. No mention of even ONE PENNY put back to fix anything. That right there speaks volumes.
Op should dump family and fiance and go no contact with all of them until he gets a 100,000 plus interest. Then take the money and continue to be no contact. They don't deserve him in their lives. One of the sister's had a DUI? The only reason she still had and has kids is because she didn't have to pay the lawsuit off. The sister should thank OP for her kid(s).
Let's face it- OP's mother has no plans to pay a single cent of that money back
Let's face it, they were all on it but pretend it was only the mom so they can manipulate op
Good take; she definitely plans on NO payment. In which case OP, who's too good(?)/soft for his own good, should go back to lawyers and get the business. In fact, he should have had papers drawn to mortgage the business to him with a specific foreclosure date to "motivate" his family to move their behinds and work to pay him. Should he end up with the business, he MUST fire his parents and sisters; leave his close friends and other relatives but keep a close eye on them.
@@helenemuscagorry244 exactly!
I'm sure he is aware. If I was him. I would sue her for everything SHE owns. Leave her with nothing as that's all she deserves.
And the rest of the family is throwing OPs mother under the bus after profiting from OPs money.
Story 1: OP is a door mat and can be easily manipulated he needs to get a brand new titanium spine
Or two big brass ones!
@@josepolotan6899 Yep
@@starbutterfly7938 Door mat - after 5 years holding his ground? Don't agree.
@@TechnoMageB5 ( I have dislexia sorry for any miss spellings) Okay lets see the wife who has the mind set of "ThEy ArE FaMiLy YoU CaNt Be MaD aT fAmIlY" Went behind his back so she can tell people " I reunied him with his family" He should have dropped her I can't imagine the person who you are suppose to love and trust stab you in the bad as hard as she did (Other than cheating or actually stabbing you in the back with a knife) then the fucking sisters USE THEIR KIDS to guilt trip him and they are still trying to manipulate him into forgiving his shit of a mother. They aren't innocent they are just as bad as the mum because they are accomplices to what she did. If there's a group and they go to rob someone and one of them shoots and kills the victim they would all be trilled for murder not as harsh as the one who pulled the trigger but still they are NOT innocent. And the dad he is a failure as a parent he failed his son if what he said was true who chose his wife to protect her when he KNEW it was wrong and there's nothing he can do to changed it he failed to protect his own child and he cant fix that. I don't agree with what OP did and you might not agree with what I think but all I know is that if you have shit people in your life regardless if they are blood or not drop them if it makes you happy and don't fall for guilt trips
@@starbutterfly7938 🍻
Story 1 there needs to be more laws that protect trusts and inheritance.
I don't even think it was a real trust fund; it was just a savings account the grandparents trusted the parents to manage.
All depends where you live. I set up a trust for my niece when she was 7 and her mom tried for years to get it. After the 5th time of pissing off the Trustee she call me and i told her to call the cops next time. My ex SIL was told if she tried to get it again she would be arrested for fraud and wire fraud (she pretended to be me the last time). My niece is now 29 with a PHD a nice house and all debt free and she has not spoken to her mom since she was 18. Sow shall ye sow so shall ye reap!
There are laws, but if OPs parents were the trustees, they could have ILLEGALLY drained his trust. OP chose not to pursue legal action against his parents. His money. His choice, but it wouldn't have been my choice.
Even when put into a bank account, over in the USA, parents have access to the account - over here, children can open bank accounts, but in the form of little books that only the account holder can take money out of - nothing to stop them paying it in in any branch of that bank - but only the account holder can draw money out - and from the branch where it’s held, usually - bit problematic when your branch is in Scotland and you are on holiday in Margate!
@@arthurvasey I assume you mean for Teens Accounts (ages 16 to 17) because that is the only time a parent can legally go into there kids accounts and withdraw funds. Once the kid is 18, he can open a new account and he's the only one who has access to it (unless he/she gives someone permission to have access to their account)
OP needs to put a lien on their properties so when the parents die, OP gets his money back. They can keep their store and house, but not drain equity out of it. Don't trust a will that can be amended.
And F the fiance. I'd dump her over the betrayal. There are lots of woman out there who would love OP to pieces and not betray his boundaries and trust. He sounds like a good guy.
Fiancee used the classic manipulative tactic of asking for forgiveness, rather than permission, when she contacted the family and met with them. She KNEW he didn't want it, but she put herself and her own values above him. Why he would forgive her is beyond me. Why he'd marry someone whose go-to strategy is manipulation is sad. Unfortunately, he's going to have to learn the hard way, just like he did with his parents, that people who are not trustworthy will eventually and inevitably screw you over by putting their own interests over yours. And, let's not forget how manipulative the sisters were for using the nieces to force him to speak to them. His entire family is full of manipulative and selfish people, so not surprising his fiancee is the same.
I will bet you that she wanted them for the ceremony. That's the only reason she wanted to get them to talk.
Yeah this one made me pretty mad, he’s in for some pain in the future. Blows my mind he can say they blatantly manipulated him and he yielded like it was the right thing to do. The fiancé admitted she was going to wait till after the wedding in hopes that it would be too late to call things off, that is so fucked, and the sisters brought their kids to ask him if he hates them, equally as fucked. This dude is gonna be leeched on for the success he was able to make for himself, it’s not about the money anymore it’s about parasites and he failed to purge them.
Exactly. I could not believe the nerve of his fiancé, admitting that she was planning to tell him AFTER the wedding (and bringing her parents into this mess)...because....what can you do after the marriage? You have no choice!! That s a crappy attitude. I don t even want to know what she is planning after the marriage. She prioritizes marriage over relationship and she doesn't have a problem admitting that
@@επιθετικόακτινιδιο yea, she knew his boundaries and was aware that he would break up with her, but she did it anyways! Stupid of her to think she would be safe after marriage 😳🤦🏼♀️ so many stories of people divorcing right after the wedding!
What is with these significant others wanting to force people into a toxic relationship because “family?” This concept of needing to reconcile with people that are so awful is ridiculous. Life is too short to surround yourself with toxic people. And he better be careful with his sisters. They will totally ambush him with their mom.
I'm guessing it's the whole "turn the other cheek" thing? Regardless of why, it's a disgusting thing to do.
@@charondusk5608 that mindset never made sense to me. I can understand looking the other way in small situations, like a family member accidentally leaving the dog out for too long, or leaving the car on, causing the battery to die, meaning you have to wait a few hours to recharge it. Spending $100,000 of someone's inheritance isn't something small enough to just be looked away from.
Because she doesn't understand the hurt since her family is nice and blood is everything, at least that's what people think.
It will make me seem bitter, but i think she is one of those happy people who cant or wont understand toxic relationship. Happy and content individuals are often the most callous in my opinion. I have met several, these are the people who get angry when a survivor of child abuse decided to go NC to their abuser, because "no matter what, they are your parents". They live a happy live, surrounded by kind people so sometimes cant fathoms why others dont.
@@moonwillow5420 Bingo! What this boils down to is her total lack of empathy. The fiance never felt what OP is dealing with. But empathetic people CAN put themselves in others shoes. She can't, and that's one scary reality check.
Sorry, but OP in the first story is...well, too forgiving for his own good.
The fiance went behind his back to meet his family EVEN AFTER HE EXPLICITLY SAID NOT TO, and should've been dumped then and there for lying and betraying OP's trust. Look at the fact she's still pushing OP to meet with his mother and tell me that she won't try something like this again in the future...
The sisters used emotional manipulation in the form of OP's nieces in order to even get him to see them and then continued to use that manipulation in order to get OP to forgive them (Seriously, the whole "Are you mad at us?" thing from the nieces? If that wasn't coached by their mothers, I will be very surprised). Also pushing for OP to forgive the mother after saying it was "all her fault" is suspicious AF.
As for the dad....I WANT to believe he was against the whole thing, but there's a part of me saying that he's lying as well and just throwing the mother under the bus in order to get back in OP's life because he's jealous of how close OP is with his future FIL. Honestly, he's the only one I'm even close to believing here.
Fact of the matter is, they've got their feet in the door and will now start to whittle OP down until he finally gives in to the emotional blackmail and forgives his mother, too.
I’d call him moronic personally, like showing up with their offspring, who his parents allege a lot of the money paid for, is no different than flipping a big middle finger in OP’s face! The dad I _kind of_ understand, but letting the sisters weasel their ways back in after OP said aloud “why make me pay for their mistakes” along with said mistakes? We’ll get an update before too long saying all’s well with mom again too 😒😒😒
@@LadyLeomon Bet it'll be fiancee cheated, gaslighted him & took half of everything in the divorce. Family store is in dire financial straights & they manipulate him into losing his business in order to save them & he's wondering how it all happened. Dumbass is kind of a doormat.
@@LadyLeomon Should have told nieces that "I don't come around because your mommies stole a bunch of money from me, and I'm not giving them the chance to do it again."
@@bhart3321 if he had a middle name, it would be “Welcome”.
@@LadyLeomon I am honestly expecting an update where the mom turns up at the wedding because the sisters and fiance invited her behind OP's back. As bad as I feel for the kids in this, because they are literally being used as pawns in this family's sick game, he should've turned his back on them because he even ADMITS that he knew they were just using the kids to get to him....Complete and utter doormat.
His finance sucks for not respecting his boundaries. I hope he enjoys that for the rest of his life.
Holy manipulation Batman. Starting with the fiancee. I really hope OP at a minimum, postponed the wedding. Turning on the waterworks is not good enough, she needs to face consequences. Sisters made sure to bring their nieces, wow. If daddy hadn't been a simp, he wouldn't have almost lost his son. OP needs to be on his guard. I don't think the sisters, or even the fiancee, have shown they can be trusted.
You know he didn't. By the time, he realizes what just happened. It will be too late.
First story: Personally speaking its more about the principle than the money, they were more than willing to take and not ask and such individuals are not to be trusted.
First Story: How easy they threw the mom under the bus when it finally came down to it. Show how much love's really in this family if she's all it took for battle lines to be drawn.
Second Story: Why couldn't he just leave when the dogs were getting close!?
First story , I wouldn’t trust the sisters saying they will give whatever money 💰 they get after the parents death. If moms soooo bad at spending could be none of them will get any money after mom and dad die
Better question for story two, why live in a complex *specifically* designed around dog owners if he's allergic?
@@lifewithlee6298 If I were OP I would demand a written recognition of the debt. Without that no reconciliation and no wedding invitation.
Story 1: The next time I saw my family would have been in court because I’m not getting screwed over 100k without a fight
Exactly! What the parents did *has* to be illegal on some level.
I think the issue why he didn't sue them was because some of his close friends work at his family business. So if he would to sue them then I would assume that they would go bankrupt and close down the business. He did say he didn't want to be the one to bring his family company down in the story.
@@brigidtheirish Yes it is, a trust fund is basically a legal document saying that when someone becomes of age you have to give him/her the money that was left to them (The Original Amount). If the trustee was to spend any of the trust funds like the crappy mother did, then you can sue them for Theft or Grand Larceny I believe.
The amount stolen will dictate how much jail time you could face (each states varies on the punishment) so for this story, the mother could have been looking up to anywhere from 7 to 15 years in prison.
@@TheKnightofAwesomeness Yeah. OP sounds like a good, caring guy who doesn't want anyone to get hurt over stuff his parents did.
@@TheKnightofAwesomeness Re: the business: that's an easy fix - or is it? Turn over appropriate shares to OP. Maybe even a controlling share. The employees and customers don't have to suffer - just the family who wronged him. Sounded like OP didn't want to get into that, though - imagine being turned over a controlling interest, possible outcomes:
1) OP now has to run that AND his landscaping business. Too easy to get stretched thin.
2) OP owns the grocery store but lets parents and sisters still run it. They're not motivated anymore because it's no longer theirs, so it gets run into the ground. Also bad for OP.
3) OP sells it. Now some big chain owns it, and friends/family working there are pissed at OP.
4) Same as #2, but friends and family continue working happily and nothing else changes. UNLIKELY.
Story 1: Op shouldn’t forgive them ever, they took advantage of him. His sisters are manipulative and now that they have used the money they want forgiveness. He was too soft on his “family”.
OP is never going to see that money again. You're telling me that in 8 years... the mom, dad, and sisters did not even attempt to slowly pay off the 100K they owed him?!. Effort speaks a lot even if the amount is small. If you think about it... $1000 (split 4 ways) a month x 8 years = 96K. Are you telling me 4 people who run their own store in a town cannot provide $250 a month each to pay back OP?
I'm not sure I would have forgiving those sisters either. They used their children to manipulate OP into speaking with them and admitted it. The money was used to bail them out. They have a responsibility to chip in and pay it off. A promise of their portion of inheritance once the parents die dont mean sh*t. In 30-40 yrs ... people can change their minds or the parents might not even consider it. OP shouldn't have forgiven the sisters or dad. Dad helped cover it up. if dad felt super guilty then how did it end up taking 8 yrs to fess up.
Oh and the fiance... either the fiance is manipulative or was manipulated. hard to say. I would keep an eye out on her.
Agree with all you said, however the father couldn't fess up as OP wouldn't communicate with him. Even letters were returned unopened. I could forgive him for taking the blame with the mother but like you said he made no attempt to pay back the fund, same with the rest of them. Even a token amount each month would have indicated some remorse and effort. Plus, he was guilty of the additional 2 year delay tactic lie. Guessing they knew they couldn't get 95k in 2 years but chose to tell the lie anyway to hurt OP some more, for what? To delay the day of reckoning so he wouldn't have to face the music there and then?
@@theuglykwan There are other methods of communication even if letters were sent back unopened. Especially in person at the 2 yr mark when OP saw them. Makes me want to know how many years did it take for the dad (and the rest of the family) to realize OP wasn't kidding. That this wont blow over as fast as they thought it would. I doubt they felt guilty at all in the beginning. ...especially depending on OP's personality. Was he usually quick to forgive and understand or not at all? Did the dad felt guilty at first for lying and covering for mom or did that feeling come when a year or two passed and OP still didnt forgive or initiate contact? Did he feel depressed about the lie or did he feel depressed on the relationship he missed out on when what he thought was a bump in the road turned out to be an 8 year long FU guys (+jealously over relationship with FIL).
@@KurenaiKimitsu From the way things turned out, it sounds like the OP was/is the type to forgive readily and he has a good heart. What a shame to waste it on that family.
Agree none of them made any effort to pay him back. I would not speak to them and take full legal action
Nine of them tried to pay back because none of them take any accountability for their disgusting deeds. They are all selfish, entitled AHs who squandered their own inheritances, racked up bills through bad decisions (like DUIs), and continue to STEAL money that was never theirs. They have no morals or ethics. You can’t expect more from them, obviously.
Honestly, they still were accomplices and the sisters basically manipulated their way into forgiveness. I truly hope he is mostly doing this to mess with his trash of a mother and keeps them low contact until he gets his money back.
You never forgive a theif even that means family
Forgive, yes. Forget, no. You don't have to rebuild a relationship or *ever* trust someone again just because you forgive them.
@@brigidtheirish I would never forgive. There's things you don't come back from.
@@packergeek10 Perhaps, but it seems counter productive not to.
@@packergeek10 agreed. No forgiveness, no forgetting, no quarter, no mercy. In my experience, those who say “Forgive and Forget” or even “Forgive” are the ones who are least likely to practice it themselves, and least likely deserve it themselves.
First OP is way too easily manipulated and forgiving . He should have followed through on his threat of dumping his fiancée when she overstepped his boundaries, closeness with her family or not. I would have said sorry to her parents but she betrayed me and I won't share my life with someone who goes behind my back and can't respect my feelings. Heartfelt apology or not she knew exactly how OP felt but contacted his family anyway which led to his family doing everything to get back into his life. The sisters used their daughters to get to him which would have only infuriated me even more. I would have kept my stance that until the money is paid there will not be a relationship . I would not have trusted them in their promise of their inheritance as it is likely they will again try to use manipulation to go back on that promise.
I feel bad for OP in story 1. He is being manipulated by everyone included the nieces. They are used as pawns. OP needs to read comments that nothing is resolved with family or the fiance. They are still emotionally manipulating him.
Good bye parents. All life insurance to be designated for OP. And when that time happened a EVERY PENNY GOES TO OP.
The first story reminds me of the phrase "Give them an inch, they'll take a mile." According to OP, it doesn't sound like they understand why he cut contact in the first place and are just wanting him to forgive and forget for either the "sake of family" or to alleviate their guilt. Now that he updated the boundaries, it feels like they're trying to push them again.
I'm a mother of 2. I can't imagine ever robbing one to benefit the other... That's unfathomable to me.
You see that is because you actually have a genuine heart. You will never be able to understand one like OP'S mom.
OP needs to get a lawyer and put his family on a payment plan. These people are master manipulators and will delay making this right to their dying day and beyond.
i dont even think its about the money for this dude anymore, its the mere fact the he was betrayed by the single most important thing in his life, a family...
You broke my heart, Fredo! You're dead to me!
Whatever these people did to get back into OP's life, it worked. He caved and he still don't have the money. I hope I am around to read his update a year from now. I am thinking those sisters will be asking him for more money, especially if he continue to do well financially.
The mom proved OPs point about her playing favorites. I'm sure the irony was lost on her though.
Op let the sisters off too easy, they benefitted from the money, the manipulated him with his nieces, the future wife is untrustworthy as he literally told her not to one to do one thing and she still did it
His entire family should be filling that trust
op is going to regret marrying fiancee,she already betrayed him,and it seems he's marrying a woman like his mother.
^^^this^^^
He should make sure to get a prenup.
The emotional manipulation this family, fiancee & fiancee's family pulled on this kid is disgusting.
OP is a kindred spirit after my own heart, but I feel for him because they used the kids to manipulate him. The fact that they took the nieces to his place of work showed just how much this was planned.
Story 1, sue the holy hell out of the family. Parents can sell house and deal with it.
Story 1:if this fiance don't shut up she gonna be an ex fiance
Emotional manipulation and the amount of toxicity bro run why are you still with her or her family or yours you dummy
Let's see using the nieces for forgiveness
Ambushing you at work
Fiance going behind you back
Fiance still pushing when it wasn't her affected
Fiance not knowing boundaries and will press in future forgiving people who stole from you because they feel bad
Story1 your fiancé needs to mind her bussiness or your relationship will end.
Something similar happened to me. My brother received his college fund but my first semester my parents got a divorce and my dad he used it as part of the divorce. I asked mom if I could have what was promised but she said no. I noticed she had bought an expensive car with the money. Our relationship ended after that. I did work my way through and taught many life lessons. This was better than money in hindsight.
"We're willing to give you any inheritance we receive from mom and dad to make up for the money we stole"
Wait, so the siblings legitimately thinks they'll just wait for their parents to die to make things right? How is that line of thought okay? Why can't they bust their collective asses and deposit back like 50bucks per person each month at least instead? What the actual fuck.
Story 1
I can’t believe that op forgive his fiancée so easily like that. She committed a *HUGE* violation of trust and I had expected him to put their engagement on hold at the very most.
Love your videos as they always have updates, and you always go above and beyond to make sure we always have the fully story.
Story 1: OP should cut his mom out of his life. Take the money back (if he ever gets it back which I doubt) and never have a relationship with the mom. And everyone needs to stop trying to push OP to see his mom.
Story 2: there’s always one grumpy neighbour.
Thank you Kiwi!!
Betrayed by family and stolen from, no forgiveness for any of them and lawsuit to get all money back. Betrayed by fiancee, marriage off and done for breaking trust and being sneaky behind back with former family. I could not forgive any of that.
The fact that EVERYONE used emotional manipulation to get back in OPs life is dirty and wrong.
As someone in very similar situation but can’t prove do NOT let them back in your life unless there is a plan to repay
My inheritance was stolen from me and it’s never been the same. I’m in extreme debt due to college. And I’m still bitter about it.
My sympathies. It happened to a friend of mine, but he never went to college as a result of the theft.
The manipulation from everyone is intense. OP will never find peace.
This poor dratsaB. He has been emotionally manipulated by everyone in his life, including his fiance and his future father-in-law. His sisters even weaponized their kids to wear him down.
What the fiance did? I'd have dumped her straight out for that. That was a serious breach of trust that would damage the relationship as much as his whipping out his junk for another woman or her spreading It for another man. She even said she wanted to wait until after the marriage because then she'd be tied to him like a ball and chain! I'm honestly disgusted for him.
smh.
Story 1 OP should’ve added interests because it has been this long and he hadn’t seen any increase of HIS inheritance
I think I would hold a much stronger grudge if that happens to me in the first story, I would move a lawsuit against them, and in the moment they appeared in the office like that, I would first ask them to leave, if they refused, I would've called security or the police.
How is it even possible for the parents to spend the money from a trust fund without any type of legal ramifications? Usually a trust is locked until the trustee comes of age.
I wouldn't rekindle any relationship with any of them. Love would have gone out of the window the moment I found out.
Ops sisters had years to pay money back. Mom also had years.
Only one who suffered in this was OP and the father. Sisters just gladly reaped the rewards until it backfired, then threw Mother under the bus to get their brother back.
I wonder if being a doormat is something you're born with, or if it grows over time. OP has learnt nothing and is allowing his family, who show zero remorse and his fiance to walk all over him.
What his nieces said to him was something his sister write on a script and told them to learn and memorize it so they can later perfom it
I kinda want to hear the mom’s “side” of the story. I’d love to hear her delusional account of why/how she raised two daughters who not only blew through their own inheritance, but then made poor life decisions that the mother somehow felt she should pay for using her son’s money.
I want to hear her delusional denial that she plays favorites with her kids.
I want to hear her delusional reasoning for given her 18 year old daughters the entirety of their $100k with no plan to ensure they were going to spend it wisely.
The fact that for several years the parents (who own a business!) couldn’t even be bothered to put $100/month into paying back the money they stole from the trust shows that they weren’t serious about making amends. Not only that, but they spent MORE of the money!
I don’t understand how he can forgive his sisters. They’re are the ones who spent the money the mom is the one who pulled it out of the bank. Well mom probably spent some too but seems like most went to the sisters. I would want to know if the sisters knew they were spending his inheritance while they were spending it or if they found out after the fact, had they known where the money came from I would not forgive them. The dad seems like the only true innocent one. The sisters are just as guilty as the mom why forgive them?
Going off the fact that they were there one the night OP was told about the money being gone, I'm hedging my bets that they did indeed know it was his inheritance they were using.
As for why he forgave them, that's sadly pretty simple to see: They used his love of their kids to basically emotionally manipulate him, having them tug on his heartstrings with the whole "Are you mad at us?" shtick whilst giving him someone else to focus his anger on.
First story,
Since none of OP's family has tried to pay back any of the money they stole from him they are not truly sorry for what they did. OP should at least get his sisters & father to sign a contract giving any inheritance they get to OP & his father should also guarantee all of his belongings go to only his son once he dies. They should also paying OP back their own by automatic paycheck withdrawal to make it right. OP is too nice, as soon as he found out his girl contacted his family she would be disowned as well.
Misappropriation of funds press charges and sue them blind.
You could place a lien on the store. When your folks die it has to be cleared first.
This guy is a doormat. I feel very sorry for him. So easily manipulated. Actions speak louder than words. He gave in so easily.
story 1: i think he's still being played by is family, the where all involved in spending the money, they're just throughing the mom under the bus and making themselves look good
*throwing
OP got played.....sue for the family store and then forgive everyone
"Nice" in this case, equates to being a fool for being manipulated.
Everyone figured the Cx to being an easy mark - including the fiancée. The OP is enabling this behavior: they (the parents and sisters) need to be sued for grand theft - and the fiance needs to divorced.
I'll never understand how ANY parent can treat one child like garbage to give others a safety net but expect that child to just let it go because they are FAMILY.
1st story OP got gaslighted by his family with emotional manipulation esp sisters
I have no clue why OP is forgiving everybody here. His sisters are like: Yeah we went to college and traveled the world on your dime, but we didn't actually physically take the money out of your trust. Mom did and handed the money to us.
The sisters KNEW where the money came from and spent it happily!! Dad is the only one I could understand forgiving as he didn't know till after the fact. Even then, I would have a hard time forgiving his part in this. OP is totally spineless in this story, which is quite upsetting to me! He just let everyone walk all over him, including his fiancee and her family! What a jellyfish!!
I would have taken my parents and siblings to court. I also would break up with that stupid fiancé for being such a treacherous swine. As for the store, the parents will lose it anyway, probably to bail out their spoiled daughters AGAIN.
OP should have made them sell the business, the debts the parents incur and the consequences of legal action against them are theirs alone, he is entitled to the money they stole from him.
OP being emotionally manipulated, it was terrible that his family used his money and the way he acted by going nc was completely understandable but for him to let everyone back in his life because they apologised and blamed everything on his mother (they must have known where the money was coming from), and instantly forgive his fiancée for going against his explicit decision, he deserves all he gets - “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Have them all locked up or sell the store !
Because they have stolen from your trust.
Make sure your sister are fired from your store!
Siezes the store with a lean today .
Put a lien on their store and take them for everything.
Sue your parents and sue the trusties
Why aren't the sisters making monthly affiedable payments for what they spent?
I like how you handled the first story.
1. Op got played by everyone INCLUDING his fiancé. None of them cared about his future, feelings, or boundaries. Stupid.. 100,000xs stupid. In the end they all got what they wanted. I mean except op. He's still assed out with a meddling inconsiderate wife to be.
THEY BLEW THRU ALMOST $100,000 OF SOMEONE ELSES MOMEY AND EXPECT THAT PERSON TO "SUCK IT UP"?!
JUST "HOW MUCH" GLUE HAVE THEY HUFFED?!
Hold off for 2 years so they can replenish it... were they even in any position to get 95k to replenish it? That was a cruel delaying tactic so they could put off the day of reckoning as they didn't have the balls to face the music then and there. 2 years later would have been worse for OP if he counted on that money or it otherwise affected his plans for his future.
I love how the mother made the husband take joint blame for it. Because OP disowning her wasn't enough, it was better the father was disowned as well? Why did father go along with the 2 year to rebuild the fund lie? I can see him standing with his wife to own the fund being spent but the continued lying? That wasn't so easily wiped clean. After all these years the fund never increased but actually decreased. They were soooooo sorry but didn't even make a token effort that within their means to increase it? Quick to turn on the tears, slow to take substantive action.
The sisters thought the end justified the means with their manipulation. That should tell OP how trustworthy they are and how they will not respect his boundaries. His fiance is also a boundary stomper.
Sue his parents and sister for stealing the estate
The only way to get rid of the resentment is for each family members to start making regular payments into the trust. Even if it never gets rebuilt to the amount it had been but some thing.
Sigh what a joke unfortunately :/ just manipulation at its finest, unbelievable. op doesn't even understand he got played
100k is what it was when the grandparents set it up. If left alone, what would it be worth now? A hell of a lot more I bet.
For Story 1: I'm glad that the fiancée didn't get too emotional to where resentment might be planted there. I hope that OP will live his life and improve a lot as time goes on 🙏🏿
This OP is repeatedly played like a $7 fiddle. Every member of his family knows this fact and how easily he is manipulated. Including his fiancée. They know exactly what to do to get their own way. They are slowly wearing him down; so their consequences for their actions are minimized for them. OP deserves better than this. OP’s Dad may feel bad about how he deceived his son by covering for his wife, so maybe he will think twice before betraying OP, in the future. But also, maybe not. I would honestly rid myself of all of these leeches. Including the fiancee. She admitted openly that she was going to tell OP after the wedding, not before, so that she could legally trap him.
Its common for trust money to disappear. Parents should not be the caretakers of that trust. They'll still take it if possible.
Friendly PSA:
*IT IS ABSOLUTELY OKAY TO GO NO CONTACT WITH TOXIC FAMILY MEMBERS*
**plays “Shift Completed” theme music from FNAF: Sister Location**
Op better make sure he has an iron clad prenup
I feel bad for OP but he is very easy to manipulate, if i was him id cut contact with the family and break up with the fiance, the fact she went behind his back to meet with his family even after he told her no is literally a big betrayel of trust.
The OP is so easily manipulated, god.
OP in story # 1 Is stupid.
Why does the fiancée want OP to forgive grand larceny? Isn't it enough for her that OP didn't have them go to jail?
WOW and I thought my fam was effed up. You go OP you are doing it right IMO.
I was injured in a car accident and got a little money for pay and suffering. 5,000 dollars in a trust through the court. My mom spent the next six months trying to figure out how to get her hands on it, which she did eventually, through fraud. I think the court figured it out though, because she left a very high paying job pretty quickly
95k unless you're a high paying job like medical or law you're not getting that money anytime
Dad cries a lot but has not put a single penny back into his account. Sisters sure are sorry, but have not put a single dime back into his account. Poor OP. He's making a mistake by forgiving them.
Story 1: It's not healthy to hold on to animosity like that, but there are ways to find resolution, forgiveness and reparations by putting the victims needs first rather than everyone else milking the situation for their own profit.
OP was played like a harp by his fiancé and EVERYBODY else. They all suddenly ramped up the emotional blackmail of OP with a multi-pronged approach as they had a deadline, the wedding. Did the sisters say no, don't take OP's money? Nope, its not clear if they knew, but it's not clear that they didn't know either. And that "Don't you love us anymore?" sting from the nibblings was definitely part of the plan. So in future he'll inherit the business he doesn't want and still be on the hook to provide jobs to his siblings and college money to his nibblings. I don't think he has that in writing either... their word doesn't count. Dad says he didn't know, but he knew before OP and made no efforts to replace any of the money in that whole time then or since. Mum is the official ringleader and scapegoat but they are ALL responsible - between 4 adults no one tried to make him whole. And his fiancé, geeeez! She friended them on FB, met them and kicked off the emotional manipulation by using their relationship as leverage - looks like her future MIL has trained her well! I'm not saying they should split, but I'd postpone the wedding and get couples counselling because she's learned this behaviour works!
I pity OP, he's surrounded by people who drain him emotionally and fiscally 'for his own good' aka their benefit, rather than support him. He now has 100 problems!
Story 2: OP was a prick! '3 feet' is too close to let your dog get to anyone. And they feel they have the right to try to intentionally trigger someone's allergies because they're butthurt? HE needs to stay away from public areas because YOU can't control your dog in public areas? Dafuq?!! No, it's not a good idea to kick a dog, but how did the old guy know how long your leash was or whether or not he needed to defend himself from an uncontrolled dog?! I bloody hate it when dog owners do that, no matter the size of dog! 😤
These two stories triggered me. Rant over!
What is wrong with fiancee. She is a busy body. It is not the loss of the money but the loss of trust.
Love your videos :)
Thank you Coro!!
Emotional blackmailers, theives and liars..OP keep your distance