Psychology Lecturer First Time Reaction to Su!cIde by Ren
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- Опубліковано 20 чер 2023
- Psychology lecturer Dr Nic ANALYZES and REACTS! Subscribe here:
/ @nichooper7
This reaction is concerned with the song 'Unalived' by Ren. The hope is that it makes some sort of difference to the mental health, wellbeing, wisdom or understanding of people out there.
Note: I'd rather use the actual title of the song because I dont think we should shy away from using the right words, but I had to avoid that word in the title and description so that the video wasn't take down.
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Nic
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Ren has said that he finished the first part but it didn't feel done. Then he came back to it, suddenly, after talking about Joe in an interview- after not talking about Joe publicly for 10 years. He wrote that last piece in 2 hours, and recorded it. Ren is fearless. I have the deepest respect for him. As an artist, he says he's been pushed by the experience of the reaction to Hi Ren. Prior, he rarely spoke of his health to his friends. After he did Hi Ren, he felt that it was the best writing he'd done... then it went viral. Now he's trying to hold himself to the higher standard of writing, and keep pushing. What I've seen is that powerful writing doesn't have to be about death and destruction, but it must be fearless and honest. He is holding himself to a very high standard - simply in pursuit of excellence. We hear it in his music as well. The tone he gets from his guitars always amazes me, and his ability to use his voice to create beauty is uncanny. He's an artist to the bone.
I also heard he had to record it a line or two at a time because he couldn't keep it together. Which makes perfect sense. He is raw emotion open for all to see.
Its just a heartfelt and musically , artistic , gifted response to a hard knock, and unfortunately because of the exploitative and ill advised output thats out there it gets twisted around.
@jrbush1
The story I read was he chose to record each line as he wrote it, and that's why you can hear him start to break down at the end of each line, before re-composing himself (because he had some number of minutes between the end of 1 line and the start of the next as he needed to write the next line)
@@nerddwarf yeah, we are all crying listening to it, and we didn’t even know Joe. It’s so heart breaking.
Ive really enjoyed reading these comments, thank you. It doesnt surprise me he recorded it one line at a time, you could feel the pain in his voice and that's one of the things that makes it powerful. I also love the history about how he has learned to flow his mind into his music - doing so has taken him to a different level to other artists.
Ren to his credit the day after this was released, he had a live chat on twitch because he was worried about how some of us would be feeling after watching.
(his words not mine)
He also went to great pains to show and tell us he's ok. That's a big thumbs up from me.
That was such a great stream. Ren is such an interesting study in parasocial interaction, empathy, and the uses of humor to be inclusive and uplifting even with regard to such a serious topic.
I still can't look at a "Common House Potato" without a giggle and a lighter heart.
Lovely stuff. It shows genuine care for the people in this community.
Thank you for the time you took with this one. It seems so odd to have to fight to normalize a word just so that we can begin to have a modicum of discourse on the topic. Hmmm maybe if we normalize disourse itself the next generation will just grow up knowing that our brains do amazing things and make us have odd or scary thoughts and that is a part of being human and not something that we hide or judge people by. Maybe that is how we level up as a species, sure would be cool to see. Peace friend.
100% agree, well said
Spot on. Peace out.
Very well put.
If we could leave the next generation with that then I think we'd be winning. The fact that the best parts about our minds also open us up to pain. Thanks loads for the comment! Nic
You got it.
He wrote it, and recorded it, in a flood of tears, immediately after he had done an interview with Knox Hill in which he had opened up publicly about Joe's death for the first time in years. The words and the emotion poured out of him and he did not do his usual thing of polishing it to perfection, he left it raw. This is why we love Ren and his music - it is unashamedly pure, authentic, honest, visceral. It challenges us to confront, and come to terms with, difficulties in our own lives. Pure genius - I love the guy
100% agree with all of that. He's going to make a big difference to peoples lives in the coming years.
The suicide contagion phenomenon happened at my high school when I was growing up (this was pre-social media). It’s such a strange and heartbreaking thing to have happen. I’m glad so many people are working to make suicide less taboo because talking about it might help save a person’s life.
*Edit:* I received a reply, which seems to have been deleted, essentially asking whether suicide contagion occurs because the idea was put into the person's head (i.e. whether the *idea* of committing suicide is what is contagious). The answer is a resounding *NO.* Folks who committed suicide as part of a cluster did NOT have the idea put into their heads by talking about it - the idea was _already_ _there._ It's the BEHAVIORS that are contagious, NOT the thoughts. Knowing others who made the decision to end their lives can sometimes lower the barriers preventing a suicidal person from making the same decision themselves - that's how clusters occur.
To be clear, talking about suicide with someone will *NOT* put the idea in their head. HOWEVER, TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE *CAN* SAVE THE LIFE OF SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!! Speaking *directly* and *unambiguously* about suicide can help someone who is suicidal talk about the thoughts and feelings they are _already_ having, so that they can get help to overcome them. This means asking questions along the lines of: "Are you having thoughts about ending your life?" or "Are you having thoughts of committing suicide?" It is important to ask WITHOUT JUDGMENT! For example, _don't_ ask "Your not thinking about committing suicide, are you?" Framing the question this way carries a feeling of judgment and will usually shut the person down and increase feelings of shame. Be direct and ask without judgement and you can save their life! If you are worried that you are not the best person to broach this topic with them, then work to find someone who is better suited to have the conversation. It may literally be life or death!
*Edit #2:* Since this is a complex topic and I'm not able to cover all aspects of it in this comment, here's a link to helpful information about how to talk with someone who is at risk for suicide: 988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/
That was excellent Alyson - did you write that or get it from somewhere. It holds great information and advice I think.
@@nichooper7 Thanks! I wrote it myself and didn’t get the information from any source in particular (although I could locate some if needed. Edit: I ended up adding a link to my comment for the 988 website - i.e. the national crisis line in the US, which has more info about having these kinds of conversations). I’ve received specific training in the past regarding how to approach people who are experiencing suicidal ideation as part of my work, since a significant part of my position involves phone triage. These are always the hardest calls for me and I’m glad to be in a position to help folks make a plan to get the help they need. I always take a break afterwards, though, as they’re frequently a window into the most difficult parts of a person’s life (which tend to be quite tragic, and sometimes incredibly horrific). I am in awe of folks who work on crisis lines and take these kinds of calls for an entire shift, day after day. It’s such a difficult thing to do over the phone!
oh wow, that is so well said - thank you for adding this extremely important re-framing to the conversation. I'm so sorry for what happened around you when you were a teenager. 💔
I've seen this song many times and never really had an idea about the first part of it, focusing on the emotion of the second part. But today, as I watched the AI portion and saw a pattern of flashes in the faces/heads of people that came and went, some stayed longer, it made me think of how many people have those thoughts. Brief, sometimes. Frustration and grief flashing angrily in your mind as, "I wish I wasn't here!" comes and goes. They mostly blink out as we work our way through it and trudge through the hard parts of life. It stays longer for others. And yet others explode like a supernova, those white bursts on the screen, representing the ones who act on the thoughts, leaving only darkness behind. This will be interpreted many ways, hopefully in the way each person needs. To me, it tracks with most people having those thoughts, at some level, at some point during their lives. We hustle through our lives, never knowing the thoughts of others. But we're surrounded by it. Strangers and loved ones alike.
The whole thing also sounds kind of dull and sluggish…like everyone and everything is under water. It sounds like giving up. Ooof.
Sometimes, when you reach out and find it in you. Its quite amazing, thats what he has done.
What an insightful observation, Melly! And brilliantly communicated as well. Mad respect! 🎯
@@pamala2112 ❤️
I think that's a lovely thing to take from this. If these things are viewed as abnormal then people are scared to talk about it which exacerbates the problem. The moment we see that most people have this at some point, it becomes something to talk about. Great analysis Melly!
This one was tough....no doubt. I've already watched it several times and I've yet to keep a dry eye. That end segment is just soul crushing. The song starts out about Ren, he said this himself, but then he said that for some reason it felt incomplete. He started with the piano and the first line of that final sequence and said that the rest just kinda poured out of him. The emotion you hear, his tears, the breaking in his voice .... it's all genuine. REAL. That comes across vividly. Once again, Ren uses the power of his personal experiences and his musical talent to draw an emotional response from the listener.
Yea, and that's what makes him so captivating. He puts himself above normal songs because of how raw the lyrics and the emotion is. Thanks for the comment Kenneth! Nic
Ren is therapy for so many from one song he helps so many people open up in ways therapists struggle to do in person. We as consumers and fans of his music and his message need to push his channel he should have millions of subs on his channel this is a crime he's saves people with his music or at least helps them by them opening up and talking
Yea I agree. But I think that the genius will eventually make him rise right to the very top.
Ren is doing something amazing and very important with his art: he is getting people talking about things we don’t talk about enough. Well not only that, the chorus is so damn catchy that he even has us singing suicide 😅
And then that recently added ending hits. It really completed the song, but also made it absolutely heart wrenching. The vulnerability is beautiful though. It brings us together as humans with empathy and shared emotions. We relate. We feel less alone.
Yea I think you hit many nails on the head with that comment, thanks so much for taking the time to send it. Nic
Unalived... Thats newspeak straight out of 1984.
I remember one time when it was very important to talk about these "taboo" themes.
Now we're not allowed to mention words because it supposedly triggers someone.
Take me back to the 90's please.
@@jhoop842 Dr Nic is not agreeing with it, he's opening a debate.
Yes totally agree. Not sure if you watched the video but I talk about this a little at 520 and 1530 in the video.
@@nichooper7 Yes. It wasn't meant to be critisism of your reaction, but more a rant of what I find to be a ridiculous and scary direction of society. Pushed by big corporations like YT.
How is controlling what words are allowed to be spoken the right way to go forward?
I'm really happy Ren did the right thing. Imagine if he was singing "Unalive, Unalive Unalive".
Keep up the good work Nic.
@@frodespein8311 Yea I totally agree with your perspective. I really think that the baby is thrown out with the bath water i.e. it's important to keep inappropriate content away from kids but this content is the opposite of inappropriate. Thanks for comment! Nic
In an ironic way, Joe in his selfish despair saved Ren's life,because of the pain joe's suicide caused his family and friends he saw that no matter how bad his life got he couldn't do that to His family and friends. So in those darkest days of 23 hours a day curled up in pain, unable to keep any food down and no hope he chose to live. how many of us would have chosen the other? Me, for sure. but then HOPE AND THE vOICE THAT YOU HEAR WHEN YOU LOOSEN THE ROPE and then came the proper diagnoses, the donated stem cell transplant, more therapy in Canada and then the chance to save a part of the world. . we owe a debt to Joe Hughes that we can never repay.
Yes, totally selfishly, thanks the gods that that series of events occurred because it lead us here. And equally, it's hard to think of Joe in pain, and then Ren in pain ever since. Thanks loads for taking the time to comment!
Ive only just discovered the genius that is Ren, when someone in a comment suggested Hi Ren. Of course i was blown away by the artistic value of the whole thing. I delved deep after that and saw no wnd to the talent, he simply delivers genius every time! Of course this is just my opinion, i can see however im not alone. Regarding this track, the thing that has brought me back from some extremely dark places is the effect it would have on my daughter, the hurt Ren has expressed in this song is tangible, i simply could not do that to my loved ones. I think people will draw strength from listening to this song.......
I agree on all counts. The genius, and the the importance of the message. Thanks for taking the time to comment! Nic
He actually said in an interview that he wanted to die but because he had experienced what it felt like when Joe took his own life for the people left behind he couldn't do it.
I'm glad he managed to spot this because the world without Ren would be a much worse one.
Thank you for the words during this tough one. If anyone can help others it's Ren with his unique talent.
Thank you for the positivity and I agree with you about Ren.
I've been waiting for your reactions to this one!
I seen another therapist reat to this, talk about "he knows Ren's stoy" and misdiagnosis and says how bad and careless "Dr's" can be. Then totally misread so much of what Ren was talking about in this...
And yes! Like you said, this song helps, and helps many. I have seen so many amazing conversations come out in the comments around this song. Struggling people find their voice, and others around them share and care and love them and give them insight for strength to carry on because thing WILL get better. I've never seen so much love and empathy in a general chat anywhere on the internet! Ren is doing amazing things for this world. And good people like yourself are helping his message travel further to reach the people it really needs to! So thank you again for your great reaction/breakdown. Bless you brother ❤️❤️❤️
Well done❤❤
Ah what lovely things to say, thank you! I agree with you - Ren is essentially creating a supportive community, and that's going to make a huge difference to peoples lives. It does to mine.
I can't thank you enough for your reaction and sharing your thoughts on this subject. As someone who has lost 5 family members to suicide I know it needs to be talked about. Each family member that chose to go to the next life on their terms made sure there was no room for error. Towards the end when Ren talks about the anger hasn't come and he just misses his friend, that hit me hard. Of the 5 I mentioned I was closest with one, my Aunt. The anger in dealing in missing and grieving the loss of her didn't come until decades later and it came with a vengeance! I had to put her pictures away. I've never experienced anger to that degree in grief. Years later and it's still not completely gone but it's not as intense. I still can't look at her pictures. I feel bad about that. Maybe someday. I truly understand each one's reasons and think who am I to say I'd do it differently. Did any one of them influence me in wanting to end my life? No. Nor has talking about it. What it did do is make me more aware of my mental health, especially considering I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was a teenager. No one told me that was a lifelong struggle. It was only when I researched it on my own because of them that I was aware of that. I can't help but wonder if knowledge about mental health was as easily accessible back then as it is now and not seen as a weakness but the illness it is if their stories would have ended differently. Again, thank you!
Thank you for sharing this overarching topic that should connect us all; instead it's considered taboo to discuss.
I think we all feel detached at times, and I get that feeling from the first part of the video where there's a sense of unrealness...we are isolated;. everyone is shown alone until the person interacts with the busker. It's so important to see ourselves as connected. Sharing ourselves is often so difficult, but it's part of what keeps us "here".
And the second segment shares with us the heartbreaking, lasting impact... so we can feel it, and share conversation.
Yes, lovely analysis Holly! I wondered about the busker but I'm so glad you put words to his meaning. I hope all is well! Nic
I recall in one interview with Ren when he was talking to a friend about thinking of suicide to end his pain and to prevent it from getting worse. He friend said that suicide will guarantee that it won't get worse but it also guarantees that you can never get better too. That thought helped him.
That's a lovely bit of wisdom there Leigh, and something that I think should be used in these conversations. Thanks for taking the time to comment! Nic
Thank you for your reaction to this video. I'm a first-time viewer, and a huge fan of Ren. Probably because I have lived through remarkably similar tribulations all of which he touches on. ADHD left undiagnosed until my 30s, lost a close friend at the same age to suic1de, and have tick born allergies. To hear someone eloquently break down all of those things in a manner that doesn't feel disingenuous is really refreshing. I commend you for encouraging not shying away from language to protect ourselves. I agree that this only serves to drive negative stigma and further isolate those who are suffering. Ren has said at some point, somewhere, i cannot remember where or the exact words he used, but he said basically he didn't like being corrected when he said his friend had committed suic1de or asked to use the term "unalive". So to cap off my novel, great overall tone of your video and I think you really hit every nail on the head :) I will follow to see more and encourage others. We need more of this in our day to day way of thinking
Hey Kyle, thanks so much for sending over the positivity and for the eloquent points that you made. Im sorry to hear about your context but see that that context gives you a gentleness and empathy that I think will be useful to those around you. Nic
Another thoughtful analysis (as always) Nic. YTs algorithm is a such a blunt tool that videos like this, beautifully exploring such a sensitive topic are treated the same way as one glorying it.
If YT is genuinely worried about impressionable people being negatively affected by the possibility that watching helpful videos might lead on to watching damaging videos on the same topic, then they have the solution if the want it. They could choose to turn off auto play as the default setting. But as this has been the number one reason for the increase in average user watch time, well, that’s unlikely to happen. More time = more advertising = more money. (And the attitude seems to be “if people get hurt along the way, so be it”.)
It's all a money game Frank : ) Thanks loads for sending over more encouragement. Nic
I've been waiting for your response to this. Thank you for your insights. A difficult subject but we so need to be having this conversation.
Ah that makes the video worth it, to know that some people appreciate my thoughts on a topic. Tis a difficult subject but like you say, one we shouldn't run away from.
It's a doctor visit day, and I wanted to thank you for basing my mind to a mellow place before facing the day and pasting on the smile.
Best wishes. Stay mellow, and wise.
I hope it helped in some way Ally! Nic
Imagine... being a couple minutes late feom saving your best friends life!
Then... spending 10 years of misdiagnosis and drug experiments that tore you up! And then there's the Pain too!!!
Imagine that!!!
And he's still around , creating , soothing , motivating himself and his listeners.
Yep. And what winds me up is that some people see that history as unrelated to mental health issues. Blows my mind.
Ren's music deserves your superb analysis.
Thanks loads, I really appreciate you taking the time to send over encouragement again. Nic
I love this. In many ways but I was struck by you talking about the song part. Most reactors just say that it surprises them because it is upbeat and tippy. I never felt that way about it. Listening to him singing the chorus, I feel that he is being very gentle...his voice very soft. I felt that from the first time I heard it. Love what you do.
Thanks so much Jean, I really appreciate the positivity and like that you agreed with the point I was making about the tone of the song! Nic
@@nichooper7 Another person had maybe a better word...melancholy.
Thank you for your input! I would love to see an Interview between you and Ren! I think this song is so important, I know several people whose only reason they didn't go through with it was because of what it would do to their family. It has a ripple effect, and is devastating to all involved! It's important for people to hear the ending and maybe get reminded that there is always someone who loves you and will miss you
Yes! That would be fab! Welsh bros. Bring it on.
If I bump into Ren in a pub one day then I'll record the conversation, I promise! I love the sentiments in the rest of that message, so thank you for sending them over Logan! Nic
Thank you Dr. Nic for taking time out of your day to listen to this song by sweet Ren! I have listened to it at least a dozen times and each time I am grateful 🙏 that Ren is releasing emotions and sharing a life altering experience about the loss of his friend. Where so many of us were taught to bury our feelings, Ren is opening the door to allow us to freely express our sorrow! Sorrow that often families can't discuss for many reasons where suicide has occurred. Families who find it hard to cry together, to mourn together, families who blame eachother and live with guilt need to see this video! It will save lives and families and communities! My heart goes out to Ren and everyone who has lost someone to suicide! ❤❤❤
Totally agree! Thanks loads for sending over these thoughts! Nic
Thank you for the validation, Nic, Ideation does not always lead to action but it should always be taken seriously, especially the very young. We are losing 7-8 year old children who can not survive what this world has become. What Ren has suffered physically is beyond the comprehension of many as his brain suffered unsheathing and set his body into a death spiral with autoimmunity. Ren has not been shy to tell his story about his ideation, as he felt he could not make it past the first year of his torment. He says; "It never felt like the right time" because he could not hurt those he loved the way Joe had hurt him.
Its a hard road. But he's made it and is fighting. All power to him.
Yea, this song felt very personal (based on on his own ideation and his experience with Joe) and that's what made it so powerful. It breaks my heart that we cant do more to support young people. Thanks for taking the time to comment again! Nic
I love that you pointed out the pictures are hard to depict... possibly how someone thinking about doing this would see life. My baby brother took his own life, and I know he struggled for years trying to figure out his place in the world; it was there but hard to make out. Thank you for this. I'm at 3:33 in and finally heard a perspective that stood out to me!
Thanks Ariel for taking the time to comment - Im glad that point landed well with you. Im also sorry to hear about your brother - I wish more could be done to help those who find themselves in this psychological place. Nic
@@nichooper7 Thank you, I'm just grateful to finally have found an artist willing to talk about the hard things! My brother also fully believed that we're killing the planet, that we're commoditizing everything, destroying the human race. In interviews I've heard Ren say these things, and his ability to spread awareness is bar-none. THANK YOU for continuing to do reactions that help others understand some of the meanings we may not. You are appreciated!!
First time i watched Hi Ren i had a panic attack I have PTSD and many other mental and physical health
issues but thought i needed to watch it again so i watched someone reacting to it that was the best thing
i could do i have watched many times since. One thing i think about the Hi Ren and SUICIDE songs is it needs
to be seen by every one even in schools, because how many children kill themselves because of the negativity
towards them from nasty comments and bullying to them believing what is said. I went through hell, bullied all
through school to the point i attempted suicide twice, if there was something in place for children at that time
and even now how many Suicides could have been prevented. Both these songs open up conversations
helping others to talk about what they are feeling. As for Ads on video's these songs are perfect for Ads on
mental health awareness and help lines for those who need them
Thanks David for a great comment. Im sorry that you had to swim in the waters of suffering but am glad that you are here to tell to the tale and to advise others. Ren himself is basically doing the same thing.
I just found your channel looking for Ren reactions 😊 I really appreciate your breakdown of this song.
Dr Nic, has a calm , mindful and forward looking approach. 👍
Thanks Kim! You're encouragement is much appreciated! Nic
*your : )
Thanks for taking this one on, Nic. Your and Stu's perspectives on Ren's work is incredibly helpful in wider contexts, and the elements that ping people on personal levels.
As I write, he's meant to deliver a fundraising check to the Anglessy branch of the NRLI, which was sparked by this song and the NRLI's assistance in the search for Joe.
I did see that on an ITV news article and I had a big smile on my face! Glad you liked what I had to say Beth : )
thank you for a sensitive and compassionate reaction to another excellent song from Ren
My pleasure! Thanks for taking the time to send me positivity!
Have been looking forward to your take on this.
I think the melodic quality and strong hook in the first part is a deliberate 'earworm' to represent the way intrusive thoughts are often unintentional and creep in when you may not be expecting them. A very clever way to help those who have never experienced those things to understand what it can be like to live in a world where nothing seems real and you mind keeps drifting back to a subject that can dominate thoughts but is often censored in conversation. So how does Ren try to overcome that censorship? By defying it completely and encouraging conversations across the Internet. Despite the almighty algorithms bias against the title, it had 1m views in 11 days.
The pain in Ren and Joe's story will save lives, I do not doubt that.
Great spots there Kate and yes, I love that this song has people talking about suicide, as that will be life saving for some.
Brilliant reaction again, Dr. Nic. I love the sensitive approach you take in these videos. Thanks again so much for our previous chat. Great to see you doing more content. Cheers from Tasmania, Australia xx
Thanks Suzanne for taking the time to comment again! I'm on a weird journey with UA-cam, trying to figure out if it is worth the time, but getting lovely interactions with people like you is meaningful! Nic
@@nichooper7 Thank you for your kind words again. I think it’s a good tool for you and your students. Plus people like me out there in the ether who greatly appreciate kindness when given openly. Also a different perspective for dealing with our daily travails. I know I appreciate it but ultimately your schedule, family life etc dictates your path. Know that you helped at least one person on your journey. Much respect. Suzi from Hobart, Tasmania x
Thanks for doing this video. Since the day the song was released, I've been hoping that you react to it. I find it amazing that people are brave enough to sit in front of a camera while watching Ren's song. I wouldn't be able to do that. From watching Ren interviews and paying close attention to his songs, I know that Ren wrote this song to get people discussing this topic. Thanks for your continued support of our man Ren.
Please continue to share your reactions to music, particularly Ren's music, but also any music that you think would be helpful. Be well.
Thank you for sending over this positivity again! To be fair, I'm used to sitting in front of people and being vulnerable, so I'm actually well trained for this sort of thing! Best wishes, Nic.
"... as a creative outlet, maybe for catharsis... "
Power
Patience
Heretic
3 Ren songs I would be very interested to see you react to at some point. They paint very vivid pictures of who he is/where he's been/how he got to here, and are utterly fascinating deep dives into his inner psychology/philosophy/thought process over the past decade (and additionally are some pretty amazing songs). ❤
Chronologically it'd be Patience, Heretic, Power... but I feel like Power is actually a really powerful place to start. I've been on Disability for 19 years for treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, and I recite some of the lyrics from Power over and over and over and over to myself on bad days, to help me navigate the bare bones necessities when I otherwise am struggling. It's an incredibly uplifting song.
I actually had just watched your video for How to Be Me before this one... you really nailed that - I searched your channel for this one after I finished watching How to Be Me, because I was so astounded at what you'd said months before the release of Suicide.
And thank you for bringing up the discussion of the "contagious" nature of suicide with young people. I'm Canadian, and there are terrible situations in remote Indigenous communities here, where they're losing clusters of children and teens like that. And yet we *have* to keep talking about mental health and suicide. The problem is that social media is inadequately "monitored" because the *skilled* / *well-trained* manpower/staffing requirements to tackle the actual problem content would bankrupt the platforms, so the best they can do is censor for keywords etc, throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
(never mind the liability issues they'd open up for themselves, having agreed to monitor appropriately)
Or of course, you could say that the problem is that our societies have refused to deal with inequality and oppression - at least, we've refused to deal with it adequately to prevent things like clusters of young people opting out of life in difficult situations that then lead people to think we need to stop talking about suicide.
Anyway, you don't need me to explain either of those two things, lol, but.
Your reactions to both of these songs - How to be Me and Suicide - were very appreciated, here.
Hey Rebecca, thanks so much for taking the time to write such a wonderful comment. It gave me some new directions for songs to react to, it gave me encouragement, and it presented some sentiments that align with my way of seeing the world.
Sorry to hear about your own struggles but Power just took on a whole new level of importance for me as a result of your experience with it.
Thanks for your kindness and positivity, nic.
It is genius. Pure genius....and i rarely use that word. A very important song. The most powerful song I've ever heard.
More powerful than Hi Ren?! I dont think anything can top my experience of that song! Thanks for taking the time to comment Pete! Nic
@@nichooper7 Hi Ren is also genius. While it does invoke emotion, and is more diverse in structure, I don't think it comes close to how hard this one hits you. One man's opinion :)
@@petebrown6356 Yea I can see that Pete. I think ill always have a soft spot for hi ren because it was the 1st time I saw anything by him.
Thanks again for a thoughtful, helpful reaction. ❤️
Thanks so much Rebecca! I hope all is well! Nic
Thank you for another great commentary. Thank you for adding your part to the change Ren is initiating. World needs it.
Ah thank you - really appreciate the positivity! The world does indeed need Ren, I wish he went into politics really. Nic
With way the graphics render, Ren's trying to show that the world of Suicide is distorted, yet interdependently rooted!
Great analysis! I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
Lovely analysis. Beautiful song. Thank you.
Thank you Barbara! I really appreciate it. Nic
So true! This topic needs to be talked more, made into thing that is ok to talk about. Its all twisted "protecting" us from words rather than giving space to others let the pain out...we lack compassion, we lack community, we shush and shame hard topics, we fight against standing up for ourselves and others, we cast blame without self-reflection, we swim in individuality in depths where our feet wont reach the bottom and all focus is keeping ourselves from drowning that we become blind to our surroundings.
Sry, that went little deeper I meant. I like listening to your voice.
Some beautiful language there in your post that I totally agree with. Do you write poetry or songs? Thanks loads for taking the time to comment! Nic
@@nichooper7 Ahaha no, just someone who got burnt from trying very hard to fit in. Watched your other videos after viewing this and I gotta say there is some very lucky students here to have you as their guide.
Eloquent and interesting as usual. Thanks Nic.
My pleasure! Thanks for the positivity!
He'd written the first part some time before but said it never felt complete. After an interview with a UA-cam reactor, in which the subject of Joe and his suicide came up, he realised what he needed to do. For most of the time since Joe died, Ren had tried to avoid thinking about it too much. He'd been in Canada, for months, undergoing experimental treatments, in an attempt to repair some of the damage to his body and brain. He sat down and recorded it as he composed it, with tears running down his cheeks. He said it all just came flooding out. That's what you hear sounds so raw and real. It's because it is. He managed to get back to England for a few days, before heading back to Canada, and recorded the video to go with the audio he recorded. It was hard listening to himself breaking down, over his best friend's suicide, so we just have his raw reaction, listening to his own words and grief. No attempt to lipsynch was attempted. Such a powerful piece. The first part of the song is impressive enough but the second half turns it into a tortured masterpiece.
All of the information you've just given really adds a lot of value to my experience of the song. Thanks loads for taking the time to let me know about that context. Nic
He highlights both sides of the story and the pain that comes from the one left behind hopefully will give pause for thought.
He does👍
Great reaction to this very moving & relatable Ren masterpiece.
Liked & subscribed in anticipation of you reacting to more Ren
Cheers pal 👍🍻
Thanks Steve, that positivity is much appreciated! Nic
A person who wants to end it is not necessary looking forward to the death they feel they can't live in this world. Knowing this can help when we help.
🤓🇸🇪
Lovely perspective, thank you for taking the time to offer it.
This is very beautiful Nic, thoughtful and sensitive, kind while keeping it real. I like how you capture how hard it is for human beings to accept some hurts are forever. Maybe wishing for an end to pain is the most human wish of all: after all, this kind of pain is, as Kelly would say, as common as grass. Thanks for doing this. It's a powerful way to reach people who might need to hear what you have to say ❤🙏
Thanks so much Fiona and lovely to hear from you and to read your wise words. Nic
I never go the feeling that How to Be Me was meant to be from the perspective of Joe, it seemed more like it was talking about how after Joe's death, a part of Ren died with him, and the song was about how him struggling with losing Joe caused him to lose himself, to forget how to be himself and to have to learn how to be a new person.
Yes I can see how you got that perspective. I didn't catch it to begin with, but can see how different people have different interpretations of it. Thanks for taking the time to comment! Nic
Playing with the word is just bringing shame back into it,which has taken years to get rid of.
You should find his latest release, "Masochist" real interesting. He says he wrote it a couple of years ago, in the middle of a bad spell.
Great insight! I didn’t think about the perspective about the intention being good, but throwing the baby out with the bath water is the perfect analogy. Thank you!
Thanks Ciaran, really appreciate the positivity, and yes, it's frustrating when things are censored with good intention, when those exact things are the things that we all need to hear.
Good day, Dr Nic. Another thoughtful and humane response to the music and messages from special Ren and his talented collaborators. Your point about breaking the taboo, is spot on. His repitition of the word is quite the opposite of glorifying suicide. But also agree with your caution, that there are examples of this on the internet , echoe chambers etc.and its a tightrope to tread, for the likes of YTube. We have to ask ourselves why do such things exist?. I also appreciate your perspective on the nuances, suicidal thoughts (not that uncommon), suicide itself , and considering the context . Its not a blanket term, it happens for all sorts of complicated and
Anyone affected by suicide, the loss of a friend, family or someone they don't know personally , of which there are many, the search for understanding why it happened is devastating and haunting. Ultimately, I don't think we will ever prevent it occurring, but I am pretty sure that it can be prevented in a lot of cases. I have heard, so many people say they didn't see it coming and feel utterly at loss. But I also know, my friend is a nurse in a Psychiatric ward. That most patients are retrievable complex, and did what they did because they were overwhelmed and couldn't see a way forward. She also takes care of people who have hit a brick wall after years of self medicating, being medicated. A slower and very common thing. That can still have a sad end. Your point about looking ahead and seeing there can be a way out is a good thing. Forms of expression, in art should be supported and encouraged if the aim is to open discourse and empower.
Its hard to have a positive way ahead, but there is always hope. And ways to raise awareness.
Going back to the visuals, I like the Picasso reference. I also thought the The Scream? The brush stroking over the real people, its almost a masking thing? Over the hard reality of the daily grind people are screaming inside and have to wear masks? The consequences comes out in all sorts of ways. The music is soothing and has a rocking back and forth quality, the end, Rens piano is beautiful and hits hard.
Sorry if I didn't mean to waffle, and I probably didn't express myself too well. I don't do soundbites.
Best wishes.
Hey Suzanne, thanks loads for the wise comment and for continuing to support my videos! I love many of the sentiments in your comment but 'The Scream' one really jumped out - I think that's what I was thinking of when I mentioned Picasso. Very best wishes, Nic.
@@nichooper7 Thanks for taking the time to reply. The Scream thing just popped up in my own head. Maybe it was the coloration, I don't know. But it seems kind of fitting. It might not have been the inspiration involved in the visuals. By all accounts Munch described an overwhelming feeling about a wild sunset, but also there was a history of mental illness in his family and his sister had been institutionalized. Maybe he was grappling with that and his own feelings , and within that context was hypersensitive to what he experienced. Its become something of emblem for anxiety, disconnection and alienation.
Very thoughtful reaction. Thank you
Thanks so much Tracy! Nic
This video has made me more aware of the pain and suffering my ; x 3 attempts have inflicted on those who love me. I cry every time and grateful that with help from others I am still vertical at 79.
Keep vertical. We need you. Go on reach ninety.💪
Hey Doug, self-compassion mate. Life is hard enough without the added pain of beating yourself up for causing pain to others. You were in a place, you made some decisions, and you didn't make those decisions intending to hurt people. I think that really matters. Glad you are still vertical : )
It a masterpiece he fearless
Yes, I love that part of him. It makes the music about more than just the music and about the message. I hope it continues because he could change the world for the better I reckon.
Second half just wrecks me. Brings back thoughts and memories of my attempt. I hear my daughter singing this to me because I succeeded. I only watch this anymore with very specific reactors. I wasn't looking forward to you doing this song.
Hey Mark, I can imagine that this song cuts close. How did my reaction do relative to your experience? Was it okay? Let me go on record to say that Im glad your daughter didn't experience this pain, and that you are still here. Nic
@@nichooper7 I don't remember. I would have to rewatch it and then share and I'd really rather not do that.
@@markbeckens Good call Mark!
Have been waiting for this as you know. Thank you. Normalisation. Ren is doing the world a favour by opening up himself to give others permission to also discuss it openly. Amazingly selfless.
He's doing a great job at starting conversations about topics that need to be discussed and not run away from. Im glad you liked the analysis! Nic
I think that musically it’s a song that is an ear worm because it’s very catchy and feels more “ produced and polished “ compared to his previous works which are very organic and stripped back. Lyrically, it is raw, organic and it’s his feelings and his truth. I take this polarity as “ the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects” which he has uses simultaneously AS THIS SONG. He also refers to himself as a sadistic in one verse and masochist in another. His skin feels like silicone rubber- similar to Chalk Outlines- as the thing that designs you but doesn’t define you. Which I think is what Ren is striving for in his struggles with his physical health and the sub-sequential effects and toll it’s taken on his emotional and mental health. AND IT’S THE MESSAGE THAT HE STRIVES TO PUT OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING, IN WHATEVER IT IS THAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH.
The animation was done by someone he knows and they included AI so , as I see it, we walk through our days, our lives, and when struggling and suffering we feel like all the things we’re seeing here… a Frankenstein monster, an ever changing based on our moments of darkness and despair weave their way through our lives and these images are what we are feeling but the AI SHOWS what those feelings would actually look like if they were manifested outwardly.
That was excellent to read. Really opened my eyes to a few important things about this song. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment! Nic
As somebody who has been at the lowest point a human can reach and somebody who survived suicide i just wish that these big coorperations would let you guys use the word freely because it was shit like this that nearly ended my life 9 years ago.....if i had somebody to talk to and people spoke freely about it and i could share my story to people who was either survivors, going thru it or just some freindly advice in general for me to see that i wasnt alone and people out there do care i never would have ended up in the place i was in
Your so right. There are friends out there.
Yes I get you Matt. My censoring the word we censor peoples experiences, and that means that no learning takes place from the person or from other people. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Nic
I do try to dedicate my life now to sharing my experiences and storys with others in the hope that i can save 1 persons life....if my story can stop 1 person having to go through what i been through in my short life il die a happy man im still only 28 years old i have plenty of years in me left yet to be able to help others....the problem with society is as soon as you mention suicide its like its taboo and its either nobody wants to talk about it or its people want to brush it under the carpet and pretend that it doesnt happen and it does piss me off a lot because we should all talk openly about mental health and help eachother through the dark times
@@mattday94 Im glad to read that you'll be a tool for good with this Matt! If you ever learn about ACT then read my book (the unbreakable student - non students can get something from it) and let me know what you think! Nic
This song freckled angel and how to be me are all about the same person his friend
Yes, as expected really, that event has flowed into a lot of Ren's creative work. Thanks for commenting Steve! Nic
When a reactor stops a Ren song after a few seconds to comment, my first thought is "buckle up buttercup , shit is about to get real and you will never be the same again".
To be fair, I had that exact experience with hi ren but now I know what to expect! Thanks for the comment!
My experience of going through the pain of a best friends suicide was first and foremost, you cannot make sense of your surroundings, you feel so separated from your surroundings that you feel you are in some sort of bubble, death - even your own is never far from your mind. I remember walking, lost through the city, alone and uninterrupted from my chain of thought for hours and hours, I didn't know were i was walking to, only that it was miles and miles, and not a single person disturbed me as i walked enmeshed in my own Bereavement. this song hit me hard, but it also helped me realise that even after 40 years, i still valued my friendship. no matter how you feel now, there is always someone who values you - seek help, it is there.
Lovely wisdom there, thank you for offering it. And Im sorry to hear of that loss. Nic
Doc Nic--
so this is a touchy subject (not with me...i've been on the wrong side of so many bad situations i just don't much care if something looks bad for me)...but i'll just say this: i once thought the only way i could improve my kids' lives was to be permanently gone. one way to guarantee that.
what i didn't know is the catastrophe i'd have unleashed on their lives if i'd succeeded. this is what i've taken from Ren's video/song. cheers.
--pablo
Yea. I mean, I don't think you or I would ever judge someone for taking their own life because they must have been feeling absolutely awful, but there's no doubt that the people left behind can be broken into pieces as a result.
@@nichooper7 and yet i BET that i would not be able to help but blame MYSELF. to reach the point at which taking one's life is a less horrible option than not, one MUST think of themselves fairly narcissistically. people typically think of narcissists as those with hyperinflated sense of self. IMO, a more complete view is a person who sees themself as the center of things, maybe even the CAUSE(S) of things, good or bad--logic be damned. ergo that stage i reached, where i imagined myself as the cause of all the bad. lost a great job during the recession (in '08), and our family's lifestyle went south fast as my self-care.
but i failed at the thing...instead i did something almost as stupid, b/c i convinced myself that i should do ANYTHING to help my family improve their collective footing at the expense of my own future. cost me so much that i am still paying the cost to this day. part of that cost is the company of my now-grown children. and it may not have been entirely my fault, it certainly was enough that my "karma" kicked in and Murphy bent me over. you know Murphy, right? so righteous they named a "law" after him/her.
The song is called Suicide.. don't be scared to say the word 'suicide' in your title, more you say it the more awareness it could bring to someone in need. Nice Video
It's a hard situation. The UA-cam overlords don't like it when people put the word suicide in their titles, even Ren was forced to spell it Su!cide. It's dumb and dangerous for people in leadership positions, both public and private, to put such weight on the word itself, while seemingly ignoring the problem that the word describes, people getting to the point where they feel suicide is the best option. Content creators must walk a very narrow path that is not well lit, not well defined, and changing without notice. I have had reactors that I subscribed to and had bell notifications on, but I was not notified they had uploaded. I scrolled through the list of new videos from the channels I subscribe to and it is not there. I have to go to their page to find it. Others I watched the reaction, but when I watched their next video they apologized because UA-cam flagged the video and took it down.
If the content creators want to be able to reach as many people as they can, to start conversations and help those who are struggling, they have to try to play by UA-cam's rules, and unfortunately it seems those rules are subject to change on a whim.
What Nicholas said puts words to this a lot better than I've been able to. There is a game to be played unfortunately. I dont like the game, and think that videos that discuss this word thoughtfully are worth their weight in gold, but UA-cam uses a blunt tool to get rid of any video that uses the word.
I dont know and it is just a guess but if you didnt see CNN used a small snippet of "Hi Ren" and said there seems to be a veiled reference to suicide to show how tik tok makes kids want to kill themselves. This song almost says 'Oh you want a song about suicide? Try this on for size lol. I think every therapist who has a patient that is suicidal should show this to them so they see the hurt and domino effect left behind. But sadly for some you can only do things for others and go against what you want for so long.
Lol! Try this on for size! Absolutely correct! You're right, some can't be saved but I reckon many can be, and a song like this may be powerful in that.
That's three times he said it.
It's walking on a tight-rope
Perhaps it is taboo, because people in the medical industry did not speak out when communities allowed it to became treated in the fashion of "he who shall not be named" from the well known children's series. Once the giant tec companies released their algorithms onto the words like a pack of hounds, it was a lost cause. What is needed is for the Medical industry to lobby media to turn the tide around. Ren has kicked the ball into play; now it is up to you lot to run with it, get the message out there and once everyone can talk openly, perhaps the tide will turn and we will see a decline in losses? It won't happen by just quietly bemoaning the fact that channels may get their videos pulled.
Ren has the courage of his convictions, does anyone in your line of work have the same.........???
Mate it wasn’t genius, yeah your right, it was genuine and cathartic….we live our pain, if we’re lucky….Ren exposes our fragility like the bridge his friend jumped from that night.
I think it was genius because it was genuine and cathartic and real, which made it powerful for me. Thanks for taking the time to comment! Nic
Is it just me... or who else is glad it wasn't his actual face at the end!
As if it wasn't emotional enough as is... it would've made it worse for me!!!
He's making a point. People who are contemplating or actually go ahead. Are often behind a mask, lno one saw it coming leaving behind a a ton of questions and no awnsers. Even when they do reach out, there is no proper support. The police are usually the ones to deal with it, they are not usually equipped for it.
I hadn't thought about this but yes, now that you mention it, seeing his face in that much pain for real would have been tough.
❤❤
Couldn't agree with you more about the cultural movement toward the embrace of euphemism. In fact, I almost skipped your video when I saw your title.
Yea, I do and I don't understand it. I don' think we should run away from words, and I dont think doing so will make a difference to young people. I'd rather us look at the it, and work together to figure it out how to move forward with living, rather than pretend that ideation isn't happening by avoiding the use of a string of sounds.
Yes there was a time when Bridgend had the highest proportion of su1xide nationally really sad
Yes, I remember that time well. Heartbreaking stuff. I'd doubt that the community has recovered from it if I were to guess. Such a lot of tragedy in one place.
dear sir. I have grown up with a farther who was a psychiatrist and a mom who was a psychologist. My brother have become a therapist. So you can say, i grew up in your world. I know you do what you do to help other people. But i also know you do what you do to help your self ultimately. And what i have seen with not only my family, but with there peers is, the loss of being able to just take things in and let it affect your deep. I understand, when working with patients, you need that filter. Stay analytical and understanding. But as a human, you should learn to disconnect that and just experience. You have blocked your own emotions behind an analytical wall. I'm not saying that to diss you. I'm saying it as a kind advice. Allow your self to feel sometimes. You will be a better phycologist if you do. Live it sometimes. Let it in. Feel it in your deep. Just my humble advice. Hope you don't take it the wrong way.
Unalived - I am un-untelling you that as an un-unaliver I find it undifficult to un-keep-to-myself how un-unrediculous this you of unFrench language is!!
I dont like it either Chris! A purely pragmatic decision to stop the video from being taken down.
@@nichooper7 Just totally fed up with the restrictions being put on the English language by people who believe they can control others. Thoroughly enjoying this generations Wordsworth, Burns, Shakespeare rolled into a lad called Ren, who can paint masterpieces with the spoken word alone. Be safe my friend
@@chriscunningham7155 Agree on all counts!
"Falling through a crack in the night sky. A light goes out on the other side, ... These lyrics open their meaning on 2nd or 3rd listen... and if you look at f.e. YT explains while they blocked such a reaction, these robotic AI animations make even more sense...
What do you think those lyrics mean Mark? They intrigue me but I can put my finger on the meaning. Great point about AI btw. Nic
@@nichooper7 changing the plain, the world. (your) light goes out on the other side, where you came from... one meaning. my imagination to that picture. Ren's lyrics are like paintings...
Could the changing faces represent manic feelings?
That's a great question - there is certainly something about the changing faces which smells of mania doesn't it.
❤😢😢😢❤
The video is made using AI. It’s the computer’s interpretation of the movement in the face.
Yea Ive picked that up since. AI is pretty clever isn't it! Scary, but clever! Thanks for commenting!
The subject should not be taboo thats turning the clock back.
This sounds like some of his older stuff. Like Diazepam. Also our culture doesn’t address death well at all. Everyone does it but no one likes to talk about it.
We had to stat talking about rape openly to start the "too too" movement and drive perpetrators into the open for discussion and to assist in reducing the incidence, it made people squirm, it was uncomfortable but needed. Suicide is the same, we need to start calling it by the name and stop skirting around it, we need to say it, we need to stop skirting around it and start talking about it, discussing it, addressing it. Stop with the bS UNALIVE AND WHAT NOT, lets talk about suicide, ideation, contemplation, participation, lets talk about it, what leads up to it, what made people reconsider doing it and not do it. Lets talk about the people lost, and how we might lose others. Suicide is not a dirty word, today their are no dirty words, we use "he's a good cunt" as general referral here in Australia and it's not jarring,, time to talk about suicide by it's name!
Yes, I couldn't agree more! Thanks for taking the time to send over those sentiments. Nic
Title: SUICIDE
Artist: REN
Didn’t watch the reaction…..
Ah that's a shame. The title was chosen because YT have been taking down videos that use the word. I talk to this topic on 520 and 1530 though if youre interested in my perspective. Best wishes, Nic.
Dude! Loved the reaction. We could be brothers. I look at you and I see me. Our attributes are tremendous. Message me for a pic. I would bet we are cousins.
Thank you for sending over the encouragement and don't worry, I believe you, I dont need to see a picture of you : )
You had the last part very low.
Ai
The video is done in AI.
It was created by animator Louis Mardlin, using AI tools.
Thanks for letting me know! And for commenting!
Giving it a different word for exactly the same act seems absolutely pointless it changes nothing.
UA-cam will block the video unfortunately. Hence the word change. I agree with you about how silly this is.
@nichooper7 You are the only one I have come across that has changed the title of the song. Surely you agree that this hideous word that sounds like something made up by a 6 year old is far more offensive.
@@lynette. The title was changed because a friend of mine who did a reaction had his video taken down. It was changed to 'unsliced' because that's what Ren said was an alternative in a short he did.
auto correct : ) 'unalived'.
Oh shit! Unalived unalived unalived..this is horrible.. say the damn word! Stop stepping away!
Its not Dr Nic. Hes making a point.
@@SuzanneO707 riiiiight
@@ralphhughes7250 Thanks Ralph.
By ren saying it over and over he is trying to normalize and bring this horrible word and permanent act to a place where WE can be open. I had a friend who took his life and no one knew he was feeling this. ITS PERMANENT! That was 1988. I was 15. I'm 50 now and still wonder.
@@ralphhughes7250 I agree, it is heartbreaking. It is like a thunderbolt out of the blue. Your 50, and I'm in the same age bracket. Maybe its time to face up to why this happens and put something in place to at least someone feeling like that, a safe and empathetic place.
Unalived sounds more offensive to my ears.
Its sanitizing a brutal truth. But on the flipside there's ears out there , kids that are exposed to some dark and shady stuff. Not for one minute saying Ren is part of that. Not at all, quite the opposite.
Best wishes.
@SuzanneO707 how is changing one word for another more disgusting word sanitising. The first is abstract until you know the meaning the second screams what it is. How on earth is that sanitising.
@@lynette. I agree the first word is abstract and clinical . The second I don't understand either. It wasn't me that came up with the other word. I don't like any of it, it defys words to be honest. Words are words, what is needed is action. Ren himself has said, he has been coerced into not using the S word. I did not mean to cause any offence.
It just seems word play over arching something that needs some serious attention and action.
Best wishes.
Yea I dont like either. Was a pragmatic decision so the video wouldn't be blocked.
What is with this "unalived" nonsense? Do people really believe that if you change the word that reality suddenly changes. I would have expected better from a Psychologist. I think it's safe to say I can skip this "analysis". 🤦♂
I don't think he was agreeing with the change of wording. He was not really going along with it, if you listen he used taboo word several times. He was using the terms that are are allowed to make point and express some really wise advice.
Best wishes.
It’s more avoiding UA-cam moderation. If he wants people to see his reaction and hear his thoughts and message, he has to play their game.
@@dhaddine5472 Thats what I think. He's not condoning or condeminv , the change of words, but using the context to express his thoughts.
@@dhaddine5472 If that's the case then he could have spelled the song title exactly as Ren did. Ren did it that way specifically for that reason.
@@michaelbradley7529 Ren did. And then I went to listen on notification and Ytube blocked it. To be honest its not the first time the word has been used in music. Probably not so so direct before now. Before it was the f word and various others. But that was when you just went out and bought a record or you didn't.