This girl doesn't need to be told "how the math works"!!! She knows EXACTLY how the math works!!! She's got HALF the mortgage payment and ALL of the...house!!
Right? The math is working like a motha fricka for her right now! I get where the guy is coming from on still paying half though. Late payments on mortgages really jack up your credit, and foreclosure is even worse. Sometimes the extra monthly expense is worth saving your credit.
He needs to live in the house also. She's not feeling any pressure to sell because she's the one benefiting from all of this. I understand that it would be awkward, but I guarantee she'll think about it more if he was living in the same house as she is.
I bought a house with my girlfriend in December 2018. She broke up with me in 2020 (sucky year) and moved out. Then a few months later, she signed a quit claim deed. The mortgage was in my name since day one. Now it’s all mine. I’m aggressively paying down my mortgage and I’ve got about $200k equity. After a couple years of working her own plan and it failing, she wanted to come back. I genuinely feel bad for her sometimes but I never asked her to leave; she left by her own free will.
My sister was in a similar situation. Only they owned the house together for 5 years. He has told her a couple times that she "won the breakup", but she responds with "you left, not me". This was years ago, but she works with his mom so they still pseudo interact. She is now happily married, they own a different house, and they just had their first child in December. Her ex lives in an RV on his mom's property and drinks most of his money. I think she dodged a bullet.
As a woman. My advice is to move back in. It’s your house too, bring girlfriends over make it as unpleasant as possible. Be messy, don’t flush the toilet. Be loud at 2am. Take the master bedroom because it isn’t you that ended the relationship. Unless you cheated then none of this applies.
My brother was in same situation and refused to move out. She threw herself down the stairs and then called the police and claimed he had beat her up. My brother was arrested, but she “dropped” the charges because she figured out if he was in jail, he couldn’t pay the mortgage, which he was paying the whole thing, along with her truck payment. She finally moved out when he offered to pay off her truck and credit cards bills in exchange for quit claim on the house, which was upside down in value at the time. This was in Texas, so the truck was of high value to her. Ridiculous what she did.
Record EVERYTHING. Sleep in separate rooms, bring a woman over with you, more awkward for her but you also have a woman to verify you didn’t do anything wrong.
@@apersonontheinternet8006 Anecdotal evidence is unfortunately only that and can come from an emotion. False allegations are statistically very rare. There is a lot of misinformation on the topic. The best thing to do is to record everything and have someone like your mother move in. This advice protects both parties, women from abuse and men from false allegations. Two out of every five female murder victims were killed by an intimate partner. Men are more likely to lose out on visitation with their children. Neither gender benefits when their partner is cruel or abusive. This is the correct course of action based on FACT and not emotion.
Interesting timing. I’m not saying that she’s scamming the caller out of half of a mortgage, I’m just saying that if she wanted to do that, she would do all the exact same things that she did.
Yeah but nothing wrong with that as she broke up with him first. But whats wrong in all this is the fiance who is paying half the mortgage who is not living at home.
As someone who went through this relatively recently, last 5 years or so, do yourself a favor and have the conversation sooner rather than later. You would be stunned how long somebody can drag out this process. My ex dragged it out for a good 2 years AND stopped paying! Which means I ended up paying both our portions, AND my new place, so as not to have a foreclosure on my credit history. By the time I finally got the ex out and could finally sell it, the house was so torn up that I had to rehab it before selling it. Talk to her TODAY. The conversation will be massively uncomfortable but believe me you will thank yourself later. For anyone who says I was stupid, save yourself the trouble, I already know I was. Trust me it was a larger than life learning experience!
For Me - I would have never moved out of the house and would get it listed ASAP. Accept a reasonable offer Quickly and be prepared to lose money on the deal. The trick is to get as far away from that girl as fast as possible. It is going to cost you one way or another. Hope this guy learned his lesson !!
Amen to that! She was like the snake she trusted, nasty teeth and he got bit by a truely nasty piece of work. Get the house and that girl as far out of your life as humanly possible.
Talking to her is not going to work. It hasn't worked and thats why he is on the phone. Get the legal process going through an attorney and get the house sold.
She can file for 1/2 the closing costs and escrow since it is a join asset. If she has dough she can sue for tens of thousands and even refuse to pay taxes to screw him. Yeah this is bad like a divorce which she hopes he will settle so she doesn't have to pay
"Two years"??? She's not letting him off the hook in two years!! That's just the BS she's telling him right now! After he spends two years paying half of her house payment, he'll be acclimated to it, and he'll be even easier to control!
@@pitbull7885He’ll probably have to sacrifice his credit to get out of this mess. The rest of his life will be severely impacted. When he’s living as a non-lease roommate in some crap apartment 20 years from now I wonder if he’ll think she was worth it.
Shoutout to the Ramsey team. They are def consistent about not getting yourself in this situation. All i can say is “Ouch!” That def look like it hurt 😬
If all the details are correct, this girl is going to dig her heels in and make things even worse for herself. My ex did that during our divorce. The more she dug in, the worse it got for her.
@@cassideyousley406it’s because they’re not married and have no kids. The only leg she has to stand on is that house. She also doesn’t make enough to afford a lawyer for a long legal battle. She’ll be in the red once it’s all over because she’s spending money for lawyer fees.
@@cassideyousley406 She was offered the chance at mediation to give me primary custody of our daughter and not pay child support. She dug in and said she wanted everything. So we went to court, where I was awarded primary custody and $80,000 of child support over the course of 15 years. She dug in again and demanded a jury trial, which never happened because we proved she’d committed perjury at our first hearing, so she had to walk away with the first ruling and the threat of being thrown in prison if she ever tried again.
Washington state is full of wokies. Between their absolute lack of accountability, sense of entitlement, and zero moral... I’m guessing she’s a “I support the current thing” girl.
He’s getting played and yet all 3 of them are giving her the “bless her heart she just doesn’t understand the math…”. No, she knows exactly what she is doing.
Or she gets the house refinanced under just her name, he signs a quit claim deed and he walks away from the $2k. Walking away from the $2k will save him money.
@elivasquez5976 Even if he screwed up...they still were never married and their where no children involved so why wouldn't she want to sell the house and just walk away? Especially if she longer wants to be with him.
@@elivasquez5976I asked a mortgage lender that I know about this. Since he jointly owns the house there’s no way to make him move about unless there was some case of abuse or something. However, there’s also no way to force her to agree to sell, legally speaking. He needs to move back in until she decides she doesn’t want to be there anymore.
I hope Chris records this and plays it all night and practices the speech with Dave's tone of voice. He's so wounded he might have trouble getting through it without getting emotional but like Dave says, he needs to remain calm and businesslike. I'm so sorry for him.
He’s weak. I predict he’ll pay the mortgage for another five years, only stopping when his ex has her second child. At that point he’ll be broke and have completely ruined credit.
ALWAYS blows my mind hearing cases of someone getting kicked out of the house due to divorce/breakup and they still continue to make payments for the person living in the house
@jimmoore3767 you are out of touch. That is how you find yourself in jail on false allegations, end up losing your job, and still end up out of your own home.
This happened to a friend of mine. She started dating a married man with 3 kids, he worked for a big investment firm. She saw dollar signs and the guy saw a young fling. Ruined my friend's credit (they both stopped paying on the house and it went into foreclosure) and he lost money on the house.
she probably can't. Seems like they are both on the loan, so even if she comes up with the money to buy him out, she probably doesn't make enough alone to get him out of the loan with the mortgage company.
Far too many men do this. They get screwed over and then willingly leave. It screws them over so bad. I don't get it. I've seen men that owned a house before getting together and will end up leaving when things get bad.
She wants to stay in the house, buy only pay half the mortgage? Screw that. She intends to stay there as long as she gets away with it. Only making $2k from a sale is a lot better than paying for an attorney when the guy has to drag this through the court. She'll pay far more than $2k for litigation.
@@asaojohnston8235 Really? How many males have left their wives and girlfriends, often with children, and think they can negotiate out of their commitment with a monthly payment? How many have failed to pay child support? It seems like men are the ones trying to buy involvement with a woman or pay their way out of one. Or screwing their own children by not paying for their care. The women I know don't act this way, so please don't condemn an entire gender because of the actions of this one person.
RIP chris. You simped out and let her stay in the house. Man up and sue her. Shes not leaving wake up. Let this be a lesson learned for all men. Men need to protect themselves against women like this
@@jeanniesabol5410If they were married, this would have been much easier for the caller to navigate. And check your local laws. Not all states have equitable rights in a divorce. Some have shared/communal rights. And common law marriage. Those are a bad mix.
That’s is a pretty severe kick to the nuts to date five years be engaged have it broke off and then be paying half the mortgage while not living in the house. Hope it all works out for this guy.
He can sign a listing agreement without her, the yard sign and buyers coming by may help put on the pressure. Given his emotional state, let the agent or a third party talk--not him.
This is financial abuse at its finest. Exactly why you guys preach this. He needs to charge her a "lease-back" of 1/2 the mortgage and PITI for every month he has not been living there, and for every month until sold, if at least from the closing costs. She doesn't actually deserve the $2000 profit to be honest. She's getting 50% off of housing as incentivized by breaking up with this dude!
You shouldn't have moved out until you were under contract with a buyer. SHE has a house to herself that you are paying half the cost of. I bet she would be ready to sell if her ex was her roommate.
@@robertfusselman8108 Great ladies are for sure out there. The problem is they are becoming the exception and not the rule as of late. Hopefully this trend corrects itself.
@@BooozyTheClown I had to move across several states to find my wife of no kids, and no debt. This current trend isn’t correcting itself, at least not in our lifetimes.
If she doesn't wanna move, she needs to pay him out 1/2 of the equity and refinance the house mortgage into her name, which I'm guessing she cannot afford. Also, why in the hell is he paying half the mortgage on a house he doesn't live in?? This is pure nonsense.
@@jimmymcgill6778 Not really. Legally they're both responsible for the full payment. If he stops paying, either she picks up the other half or they both take the hit, same if she stops paying. The mortgage company doesn't care who's paying as long as they get their money.
Yeah, not paying is a bad idea. Best case is your credit score is screwed for years. Worst scenario is bank forecloses and auctions and you owe thousands.
She has no idea how a long-term fixed rate amortization schedule works. In the first few years, almost no equity is being built because the payments are going almost entirely to interest. 😅
An unlikely possibility is for her to refinance to get his name off of the loan and house. She likely will need a family member to cosign with her to qualify for the new loan as it sounds like she can't afford it on her own. Otherwise, selling is the only way forward for them as I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to ruin his credit with a foreclosure.
This is a general partnership, so a Judge can force the sale of the house to dissolve the partnership. The house is already sold, she just hasn't admitted it yet
I know a person that did something similar except they had a child together before the breakup. Since she had custody of the child he felt responsible to keep a roof over their heads. He paid the mortgage on that house for several years until she got another guy. Of course she was seeing said guy not long after they broke up so they got to live in the house for several years for free outside of utilities. He paid the maximum stupid tax because he did it the right way and met another woman got married and bought another house. So for awhile, he was paying TWO mortgages.
They shouldn't have bought the house together. But I think the rest of the story goes something like he's been dating this girl since she was 23 and has made no meaningful progression in their relationship towards commitment (marriage) and starting their family. It's obvious from his answers in this call that he's the type to just eternally hem and haw over something, seek advice from literally everyone and their brother and then still sit back and make no decisions. She probably thought buying a home together would be the final kick in the pants he needed to get him on the marriage and family track, and lo and behold, to her dismay it still didn't happen. Biologically she really doesn't have any more time to lose. I'm sure she doesn't just want to be a baby mamma from some random sperm, so now she is faced with having to go through the whole dating process again to find another sutible man for a family. She's now going to be pushing into her early to mid 30s before she even has her first child, and now she got all her money tied up in this house too. She is probably so upset. But she's also smart and is not trying to walk away at a financial loss. He is stuck with her and the house or he needs to grow up and take real actions for something, which now will be eliminating the house since she eliminated the relationship.
Why is it that in these situations where both parties own 50% of the house each the man always vacates the house and the woman continues to live there?
The realtor is BS'ing them saying theyll get back only $4k. Theyre not getting back anything. They will have to pay like 5-10% out of pocket to sell at all. After paying the realtor's 6% and closing costs theyre down by like 8%, assuming flat market, which is a generous assumption.
I know Dave preaches zero debt and no credit score. Putting that aside for a moment. I've read some comments that say stop paying your half. You can do that, I mean you can do whatever you want but if the mortgage is not paid in full each month it will be BOTH your credit reports and scores that take a hit!! Your feelings won't trump that fact!
@@handleyobusiness I just gotta add, you're right you can have bad credit today, pay it all off, and eventually go long enough without debt get to no credit score. It does NOT make what I said in my original comment untrue. But it's OK, I know this is the internet and we are all here just to argue.
@@GAFB1122 You just simply can’t handle reason without being so emotional. I was able to handle my business and settle my obligations without ever going bankrupt.
@@GAFB1122 I never said you was wrong. Yes your credit will take a large hit, but I don’t let a 3 digit number limit my life. Credit has hurt more people than it’s helped.
This can happen even if married. My sister in New Zealand left her husband after 25 years of marriage and he stayed up in the house and spun the divorce settlement out until they went to court last December and the Judge was fed up with him. Constant delaying and evasion tactics,he lied to the previous Judge about putting the house on the market over a year ago, sent emails to Real Estate agents falsely copying her in saying they were delaying the sale etc. Forced her to take him to court again and tried to claim the court costs off her. In December she got an affidavit together showing his lies in the court and to her and her lawyers. And finally he got the trouble he deserved. This woman sounds very manipulativeShe's having a field day on their shared house. I hope he gets her out quickly.
@@glitterstarbeau not in New Zealand,they went back 3 times to court and only the last time was it classed as contempt of court because he told the Judge he would sell the house and then after said he didn't have to as it was in Trust and because he was omitting finacial reports and info etc.which my sister researched herself.
@@DivaClariceWilliamsThat’s New Zealand and their laws. Every state in America has their laws. But in a divorce, it’s clear what’s going to happen to shared assets. In this case because they’re basically roommates, he’s literally at her mercy. If they had been married, she could still jerk him around in the court system. But I don’t think she’d have as much success.
Yeah, the speed with which she broke up with him after they bought the house? Looks like she used him to buy a house she wouldn’t have been able to buy on her own and is strong arming him to keep it by just staying. She’s not as bright as she thinks, but cheaters never are.
Whats the difference between married or defacto Sell the house and split the costs thats it Go to court and get it legally done end of whether youre married or not Its the same
I'm willing to bet she'll be moving her new boyfriend in the house soon if she already hasn't. No one leaves what they have unless they find something they think is better. Selling the house isn't about breaking even, it's about getting yourself financially separated from someone you are no longer with. He'll be on the hook for that mortgage for the next 15-30 years when she eventually defaults on the payments.
I know I'm late, but he should speak to an attorney before speaking to her so he has an idea of how an attorney could help. The last thing he wants to do is threaten getting an attorney only to find out he can't get one to help.
If you were smart you would absolutely move out on your own volition. If you aren’t smart, you would still move out but only after a trip to the county jail, a court order, and a lost job.
@@apersonontheinternet8006 maybe a loser like you but real men are not going to move out of something they pay for. First of all you have no legal obligation to move out. Second if you are afraid of being falsely accused then set up surveillance cameras. It's much cheaper to install cameras than to be paying double rent.
She benefits a lot to have the house and he pays his half of the mortgage. She gets the full house and half payment is a win win. She knows the maths 100%
I’d be real curious what each of their incomes are. I was just talking to someone about the housing costs in Washington state and they said it’s unaffordable for most people to buy there. If this man makes more than she does, I would have to question if this was a plan she had to get herself in a house and then hope she can get away with it. Maybe not... but we know Washington is full of woke progressives, and we know woke struggle with their entitlement and accountability.
How long before she realizes she can just stop paying, and he'll have to pay the WHOLE payment to save his credit. And I think Dave is overestimating how easy it would be for a lawyer to force her to sell. Especially if she can demonstrate dependence on the living situation or indigence.
But if she will not listen to reason, hiring an attorney for a partition sale will likely put them well underwater. That quickly, I am not sure how they would walk away with ANY proceeds (even 2k apiece) after closing costs. Most areas of the country real estate values are pretty static, and certainly not appreciating enough to cover commission, title charges, tax credits, et al quickly. Nasty does not come cheap. So that is not in his best interests either. They DO need to figure it out on their own. It does probably make sense to hold onto the property for a certain level of appreciation though. In that case she needs to fully pay the mortgage if she is living there on her own. THAT is what I would discuss. Not trying to force a sale and loss.
Absolutely not, he needs to get that house sold yesterday even if at a loss. It is only a matter of time before she stops paying leaving him to foot the bill and she is likely to destroy the place on the way out out of spite either way.
The other option is for her to buy him out. ... not that she's going to have or get a loan for half the house value when she's worried about only getting 2k back.
With all due respect, and I do agree he has to speak to her in person + let her know he’ll have to take legal action if she does not comply, saying what was recommended EVEN CALMLY could easily be viewed as a threat. We do not need this young man to be under a DV restraining order on top of all this. If he can NOT say that it’s going to get ugly/nasty, and he ends up taking legal action then any decent judge is going to order her to comply. I also wonder why she has to put the house on the market? If she can then HE can, is that right? He can present her with a proposal to buy him out. She won’t do that but then he will have that proof.
Forget the conversation, they already had it. She said no and asked for two years, so the conversation is over. Hire a lawyer to give her two options: Put the house on the market or arrange a buy out. These are straightforward business transactions that may happen immediately.
I think the problem is not a math problem, it's that his lady does not understand how taxes work. She is thinking that if she bought a house for $246,00 and sells it for $250,000 they would have to pay taxes on the entire $250,000. However, they would only have to pay taxes on the increase of $4,000. She would only personally pay taxes on the $2,000. However, they are likely to spend more than that to pay the realtor and transaction fees, so they likely would deduct that and not need to pay any taxes at all. That sigh at 5:53 seems a bit strange.
The question they didn't ask him was what contract they signed between them regarding the house. That's the critical question. How easy this situation is to deal with depends on what's in that contract. (And, of course, whether there is one at all.) It should be a simple matter of implementing whatever course of action they agreed in advance they would take in this scenario.
If she wants the house and he doesnt care and hes only going to net $2000 if they sell it, why cant she just take over the mortgage and he can walk away. Is the 2k really worth forcing the sale of the home?
For him to be able to "walk away", she would have to refinance the mortgage into her name only. She's probably not likely to because.... 1) The lender probably won't allow it unless she has a co-signer or is putting up a lot of cash up front. 2) Assuming she does qualify, her interest rate will increase, which will increase her mortgage payments. She'd have to be willing to accept this.
Good advice but you know that ain’t happening. She’s squatting in a place for half price and the guy is afraid of ruining his credit if he stops paying.
she had an ulterior motive - thinking she would get the house after a break-up because Shes a woman. Then got hit with harsh reality. Dont go easy on her
This girl doesn't need to be told "how the math works"!!! She knows EXACTLY how the math works!!! She's got HALF the mortgage payment and ALL of the...house!!
Right? The math is working like a motha fricka for her right now! I get where the guy is coming from on still paying half though. Late payments on mortgages really jack up your credit, and foreclosure is even worse. Sometimes the extra monthly expense is worth saving your credit.
Yeah but she will start bringing in her new boyfriends while you still paying half, that hurts more than a bad credit score lol@@PhilW7670
Every month she stays there she is getting more equity in the house on his dime.
He needs to live in the house also. She's not feeling any pressure to sell because she's the one benefiting from all of this. I understand that it would be awkward, but I guarantee she'll think about it more if he was living in the same house as she is.
I bought a house with my girlfriend in December 2018. She broke up with me in 2020 (sucky year) and moved out. Then a few months later, she signed a quit claim deed. The mortgage was in my name since day one. Now it’s all mine. I’m aggressively paying down my mortgage and I’ve got about $200k equity. After a couple years of working her own plan and it failing, she wanted to come back. I genuinely feel bad for her sometimes but I never asked her to leave; she left by her own free will.
did you tell her shes not welcome back? she broke up with you to ride the carousel and now thats she worn out wants to come back to security.
Do not feel bad for her. The best revenge is her seeing you succeed and seeing what she threw away.
“My ex-boyfriend” is paying off that house aggressively. If I get back together and marry him, then divorce, I could get half!
My sister was in a similar situation. Only they owned the house together for 5 years. He has told her a couple times that she "won the breakup", but she responds with "you left, not me".
This was years ago, but she works with his mom so they still pseudo interact. She is now happily married, they own a different house, and they just had their first child in December. Her ex lives in an RV on his mom's property and drinks most of his money. I think she dodged a bullet.
Dumb girl, thats for sure
As a woman. My advice is to move back in. It’s your house too, bring girlfriends over make it as unpleasant as possible. Be messy, don’t flush the toilet. Be loud at 2am. Take the master bedroom because it isn’t you that ended the relationship. Unless you cheated then none of this applies.
Nope. Too risky. One false allegation is all it takes!
My brother was in same situation and refused to move out. She threw herself down the stairs and then called the police and claimed he had beat her up. My brother was arrested, but she “dropped” the charges because she figured out if he was in jail, he couldn’t pay the mortgage, which he was paying the whole thing, along with her truck payment. She finally moved out when he offered to pay off her truck and credit cards bills in exchange for quit claim on the house, which was upside down in value at the time. This was in Texas, so the truck was of high value to her. Ridiculous what she did.
Record EVERYTHING. Sleep in separate rooms, bring a woman over with you, more awkward for her but you also have a woman to verify you didn’t do anything wrong.
Imagine being this oblivious.
@@apersonontheinternet8006 Anecdotal evidence is unfortunately only that and can come from an emotion. False allegations are statistically very rare. There is a lot of misinformation on the topic.
The best thing to do is to record everything and have someone like your mother move in. This advice protects both parties, women from abuse and men from false allegations. Two out of every five female murder victims were killed by an intimate partner. Men are more likely to lose out on visitation with their children. Neither gender benefits when their partner is cruel or abusive. This is the correct course of action based on FACT and not emotion.
Interesting timing. I’m not saying that she’s scamming the caller out of half of a mortgage, I’m just saying that if she wanted to do that, she would do all the exact same things that she did.
She had some other guy lined up that she said was just a “friend” for awhile, he finally asked her out and now she’s with him. Guaranteed!!!
Yeah but nothing wrong with that as she broke up with him first. But whats wrong in all this is the fiance who is paying half the mortgage who is not living at home.
@@asadb1990yeah, she can refinance under her name but is he is paying he is staying
Just because it keeps happening to you doesn't mean that's the case here
That's how the scam works.
Huh that’s oddly specific
As someone who went through this relatively recently, last 5 years or so, do yourself a favor and have the conversation sooner rather than later. You would be stunned how long somebody can drag out this process. My ex dragged it out for a good 2 years AND stopped paying!
Which means I ended up paying both our portions, AND my new place, so as not to have a foreclosure on my credit history. By the time I finally got the ex out and could finally sell it, the house was so torn up that I had to rehab it before selling it. Talk to her TODAY. The conversation will be massively uncomfortable but believe me you will thank yourself later. For anyone who says I was stupid, save yourself the trouble, I already know I was. Trust me it was a larger than life learning experience!
Thanks for sharing great wisdom from out of your pain. God bless you
YUP. I bailed on my debt and moved to another country. Live and learn.
Sorry you had to go through such a terrible experience. She sounds like a wicked witch.
For Me - I would have never moved out of the house and would get it listed ASAP. Accept a reasonable offer Quickly and be prepared to lose money on the deal. The trick is to get as far away from that girl as fast as possible. It is going to cost you one way or another. Hope this guy learned his lesson !!
Amen to that! She was like the snake she trusted, nasty teeth and he got bit by a truely nasty piece of work. Get the house and that girl as far out of your life as humanly possible.
I wish he’d call back in a month or so & give us an update.Dave, do some “ update shows”!
Who cares
Update will be a train wreck
@@ykook7000 I do!!
@@PInk77W1 maybe, maybe not.
@@annt2685 Yeap
Been there done that. Good luck my friend. Clear this up as fast as possible. You’re gonna take a hit but you will heal and life will get better.
Talking to her is not going to work. It hasn't worked and thats why he is on the phone. Get the legal process going through an attorney and get the house sold.
It needs to be explained to her that $2000 is more than she'll have if she fights the sale or you stop paying 1/2 the mortgage.
She can file for 1/2 the closing costs and escrow since it is a join asset. If she has dough she can sue for tens of thousands and even refuse to pay taxes to screw him. Yeah this is bad like a divorce which she hopes he will settle so she doesn't have to pay
Rule #1: don't shack up. Rule #2: don't put your name on ANY loans with somebody you're not married to.
Both Names on Loans or No pay..
Women liberation ended up messing everybody
@@sarameiragootblatt1819 Kinda Yes some Women destroy good Women thus in their Hive Mind all will get Trashed
She’s cold hearted. Wants to keep him on a string for two years so she can live there on the cheap.
50% off on the mortgage payment is a sweet deal for her. Lousy one for him as he's getting no benefits from it.
exactly she is using him. He will probably have to get an attorney I feel like she will not sell the house
Typical woman mindset and bullshit. $ 20 says she was cheating on him and then all the crap started
"Two years"??? She's not letting him off the hook in two years!! That's just the BS she's telling him right now! After he spends two years paying half of her house payment, he'll be acclimated to it, and he'll be even easier to control!
@@pitbull7885He’ll probably have to sacrifice his credit to get out of this mess. The rest of his life will be severely impacted. When he’s living as a non-lease roommate in some crap apartment 20 years from now I wonder if he’ll think she was worth it.
Shoutout to the Ramsey team. They are def consistent about not getting yourself in this situation. All i can say is “Ouch!” That def look like it hurt 😬
He paying half of her bills and she’s in there bouncing on Jerry smh
that's exactly what's going on
😂😂😂
Bouncing on Jerry in Chris's bed.
And Kevin from Sales
😂😂😂😂😂
If all the details are correct, this girl is going to dig her heels in and make things even worse for herself. My ex did that during our divorce. The more she dug in, the worse it got for her.
She's a woman not a girl
A girl is under 18
Why can't men understand that
Care to explain? Just curious.
she is a woman
@@cassideyousley406it’s because they’re not married and have no kids. The only leg she has to stand on is that house. She also doesn’t make enough to afford a lawyer for a long legal battle. She’ll be in the red once it’s all over because she’s spending money for lawyer fees.
@@cassideyousley406 She was offered the chance at mediation to give me primary custody of our daughter and not pay child support. She dug in and said she wanted everything. So we went to court, where I was awarded primary custody and $80,000 of child support over the course of 15 years. She dug in again and demanded a jury trial, which never happened because we proved she’d committed perjury at our first hearing, so she had to walk away with the first ruling and the threat of being thrown in prison if she ever tried again.
She's staying because he's paying half the mortgage. Pretty good deal
Washington state is full of wokies. Between their absolute lack of accountability, sense of entitlement, and zero moral... I’m guessing she’s a “I support the current thing” girl.
He never should have moved out. To paraphrase Sam Kinison, he should have acted like such an asshole that she moved out, LOL
Why is it always women that do shit like this?
Why is it always women who do this?
@@daveshane957 And then she files a false abuse claim and gets you taken out by force.
I work with people in financial difficulty in the uk and i see this ALL the time
You just gotta protect yourself in all situations
He’s getting played and yet all 3 of them are giving her the “bless her heart she just doesn’t understand the math…”. No, she knows exactly what she is doing.
True is playing him like a fool
I came here to say exactly that! Sounds like he dodged a bullet. She expects him to pause his life for two years so she can build equity.
You can just listen to his voice and tell she controlled everything.
Can guarantee she planned on breaking things off before she got him to buy a house
This 100%
She stayed with him until they signed for a house that he's still paying half for? She sounds like a scammer.
Or she gets the house refinanced under just her name, he signs a quit claim deed and he walks away from the $2k. Walking away from the $2k will save him money.
Great Option
If I'm paying, I'm staying.
That was my thought
He probably screwed up somewhere. He got kicked out of the house and is still paying the mortgage? Some context is definitely missing..
She could make false accusations against him. Better to just stop paying and take the hit on the credit score.
@@FreedomsNurseAnd in the process kill any chance of ever owning a home, or getting a lease for that matter. As was stated above: RIP Chris.
@elivasquez5976 Even if he screwed up...they still were never married and their where no children involved so why wouldn't she want to sell the house and just walk away? Especially if she longer wants to be with him.
This was his own damn fault for getiting into this deal. Forget the heartbreak, the problem is the house. He has to set himself free at any cost.
He needs to move back in if he’s paying half of the mortgage while saving for the attorney fees. She won’t want to move if he’s still paying.
He probably screwed up somewhere. He got kicked out of the house and is still paying the mortgage? Some context is definitely missing..
@@elivasquez5976I asked a mortgage lender that I know about this. Since he jointly owns the house there’s no way to make him move about unless there was some case of abuse or something. However, there’s also no way to force her to agree to sell, legally speaking. He needs to move back in until she decides she doesn’t want to be there anymore.
@@elivasquez5976You’re literally a bot
@@zacharysilver911 nah bro.
If she pulls an Amber Herd, he could end up arrested.
I've been in his situation and was the same young age. The sooner the house is sold, the better for everyone.
She knows exactly what she’s doing. Gets a cheap place to live while she’s free now to date whoever she wants.
I hope Chris records this and plays it all night and practices the speech with Dave's tone of voice. He's so wounded he might have trouble getting through it without getting emotional but like Dave says, he needs to remain calm and businesslike. I'm so sorry for him.
He’s weak. I predict he’ll pay the mortgage for another five years, only stopping when his ex has her second child. At that point he’ll be broke and have completely ruined credit.
ALWAYS blows my mind hearing cases of someone getting kicked out of the house due to divorce/breakup and they still continue to make payments for the person living in the house
Divorce possibly makes sense. Still paying after a breakup seems deeply unfair.
@@arh1234 its his fault for moving out, he would have stayed until the house was sold or somebody bought the other halfs.
@jimmoore3767 you are out of touch. That is how you find yourself in jail on false allegations, end up losing your job, and still end up out of your own home.
@@arh1234I think in divorce you’re ordered to keep paying until it’s sold or someone’s name removed.
Never leave the house. Period
Sorry to hear this Chris, wish you the best!
This happened to a friend of mine. She started dating a married man with 3 kids, he worked for a big investment firm. She saw dollar signs and the guy saw a young fling. Ruined my friend's credit (they both stopped paying on the house and it went into foreclosure) and he lost money on the house.
She can buy you out also. Surprised they didn’t suggest that
she probably can't. Seems like they are both on the loan, so even if she comes up with the money to buy him out, she probably doesn't make enough alone to get him out of the loan with the mortgage company.
If she's obsessing over $2K then she doesn't have the resources or the job to carry the mortgage.
She’s got a new man, they can both buy her out.
No one have to be bought out. More then likely they will break even.
@@mqayyum9226 With what money? You don't know how much she makes.
He moved out but paying the mortgage?!!! Grow a pair man!!
I concur, a big hairy pair.
He probably has NO choice.
If she fails to pay mortgage his credit score is ruined.
Far too many men do this. They get screwed over and then willingly leave. It screws them over so bad. I don't get it.
I've seen men that owned a house before getting together and will end up leaving when things get bad.
@@rajbeekie7124you don't understand the issue. The big thing was moving out. He's essentially paying rent on a place he willingly moved out of.
She wants to stay in the house, buy only pay half the mortgage? Screw that. She intends to stay there as long as she gets away with it. Only making $2k from a sale is a lot better than paying for an attorney when the guy has to drag this through the court. She'll pay far more than $2k for litigation.
Lol she wants that house buddy. And you fell for it.
He fell in love and trusted her. It happened or will to all of us.
Men are in love women are in business
@@asaojohnston8235 Really? How many males have left their wives and girlfriends, often with children, and think they can negotiate out of their commitment with a monthly payment? How many have failed to pay child support? It seems like men are the ones trying to buy involvement with a woman or pay their way out of one. Or screwing their own children by not paying for their care.
The women I know don't act this way, so please don't condemn an entire gender because of the actions of this one person.
@@Lamour-c5b who hurt you?
yeah and she is using him
RIP chris. You simped out and let her stay in the house. Man up and sue her. Shes not leaving wake up. Let this be a lesson learned for all men. Men need to protect themselves against women like this
Not just men. No marriage then no shared property. No marriage then no legal rights.
Absolutely right
@@jeanniesabol5410 This is a men's rights issue. Please don't dance around this subject and pretend this affects men and women equally.
@@jeanniesabol5410If they were married, this would have been much easier for the caller to navigate.
And check your local laws. Not all states have equitable rights in a divorce. Some have shared/communal rights. And common law marriage. Those are a bad mix.
We don't know why he moved out. He may have screwed up badly, so she threw him out. In any case, he needs to get a lawyer talking to her.
That’s is a pretty severe kick to the nuts to date five years be engaged have it broke off and then be paying half the mortgage while not living in the house. Hope it all works out for this guy.
Never let a woman destroy you financially. Men need to protect their finances against the other half which always goes for the money
Stay strong brother
He can sign a listing agreement without her, the yard sign and buyers coming by may help put on the pressure. Given his emotional state, let the agent or a third party talk--not him.
😍😍Would you be my realtor? VERY pretty 😘
This is financial abuse at its finest. Exactly why you guys preach this. He needs to charge her a "lease-back" of 1/2 the mortgage and PITI for every month he has not been living there, and for every month until sold, if at least from the closing costs. She doesn't actually deserve the $2000 profit to be honest. She's getting 50% off of housing as incentivized by breaking up with this dude!
Yup and meanwhile Chad Brad Pookie and Ray-Ray are running her through.
You shouldn't have moved out until you were under contract with a buyer.
SHE has a house to herself that you are paying half the cost of. I bet she would be ready to sell if her ex was her roommate.
Exactly what I just was screaming over here! Move back in! She will sell
"Why can't I find a good man?!" Because you ladies keep doing stuff like this.
We are out here Boozy😊❤ it is just as hard to find the right woman to love and build a life with.❤
@@robertfusselman8108 Great ladies are for sure out there. The problem is they are becoming the exception and not the rule as of late. Hopefully this trend corrects itself.
I didn't.... and have a fantastic husband.
@@BooozyTheClown I had to move across several states to find my wife of no kids, and no debt. This current trend isn’t correcting itself, at least not in our lifetimes.
@@kathiedrake3926 Exactly :)
If she doesn't wanna move, she needs to pay him out 1/2 of the equity and refinance the house mortgage into her name, which I'm guessing she cannot afford. Also, why in the hell is he paying half the mortgage on a house he doesn't live in?? This is pure nonsense.
I’m not sure if not paying a mortgage affects credit scores but it could be why since his name is on it too
@@Savedandfreed It does. And both their names are on it. Legally, he is required to pay half of it.
@@jimmymcgill6778 Not really. Legally they're both responsible for the full payment. If he stops paying, either she picks up the other half or they both take the hit, same if she stops paying. The mortgage company doesn't care who's paying as long as they get their money.
Yeah, not paying is a bad idea. Best case is your credit score is screwed for years. Worst scenario is bank forecloses and auctions and you owe thousands.
@@michaelmurphy2112 That's what I said.
She can take him to court if he doesn't pay.
She has no idea how a long-term fixed rate amortization schedule works. In the first few years, almost no equity is being built because the payments are going almost entirely to interest. 😅
Yep!
The way it works is that she rents a whole house for 1/2 the mortgage payment. She might have used his credit and his down payment as well.
An unlikely possibility is for her to refinance to get his name off of the loan and house. She likely will need a family member to cosign with her to qualify for the new loan as it sounds like she can't afford it on her own. Otherwise, selling is the only way forward for them as I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to ruin his credit with a foreclosure.
Well...... That escalated quickly. Sorry man, hopefully this situation is sorted out soon.
She found herself a sucker. She'll call the cops hire a attorney.
Cops won’t do anything. He owns the house too.
@@MissDuke2012 Oh yes they we will. He yelled at me and threatened me=restraining order
This is a general partnership, so a Judge can force the sale of the house to dissolve the partnership. The house is already sold, she just hasn't admitted it yet
If "we" get rid of the house, where will her boyfriend go?
I know a person that did something similar except they had a child together before the breakup. Since she had custody of the child he felt responsible to keep a roof over their heads. He paid the mortgage on that house for several years until she got another guy. Of course she was seeing said guy not long after they broke up so they got to live in the house for several years for free outside of utilities. He paid the maximum stupid tax because he did it the right way and met another woman got married and bought another house. So for awhile, he was paying TWO mortgages.
There’s another guy sleeping in his house 🤯🤯 4:46
A followup on how this played out would make for an excellent segment.
They shouldn't have bought the house together. But I think the rest of the story goes something like he's been dating this girl since she was 23 and has made no meaningful progression in their relationship towards commitment (marriage) and starting their family. It's obvious from his answers in this call that he's the type to just eternally hem and haw over something, seek advice from literally everyone and their brother and then still sit back and make no decisions. She probably thought buying a home together would be the final kick in the pants he needed to get him on the marriage and family track, and lo and behold, to her dismay it still didn't happen. Biologically she really doesn't have any more time to lose. I'm sure she doesn't just want to be a baby mamma from some random sperm, so now she is faced with having to go through the whole dating process again to find another sutible man for a family. She's now going to be pushing into her early to mid 30s before she even has her first child, and now she got all her money tied up in this house too. She is probably so upset. But she's also smart and is not trying to walk away at a financial loss. He is stuck with her and the house or he needs to grow up and take real actions for something, which now will be eliminating the house since she eliminated the relationship.
Why is it that in these situations where both parties own 50% of the house each the man always vacates the house and the woman continues to live there?
Proverbs 21:19
Because the man doesn't want to get stabbed in the neck by a crazy woman in the middle of the night.
@@Hurtzilla I totally agree with that, but the proverb doesn't say to continue paying half the mortgage
@@WindyWalk the joke went right over your head 😂
The man can't default on the mortgage bc it'll impact his credit worthiness/history.
@@AmbiguousAbsolute What joke?
Yeah I hadn't considered the credit score aspect, it makes sense. Terrible situation for the guy.
The realtor is BS'ing them saying theyll get back only $4k. Theyre not getting back anything. They will have to pay like 5-10% out of pocket to sell at all. After paying the realtor's 6% and closing costs theyre down by like 8%, assuming flat market, which is a generous assumption.
"Tell her you broke my heart and I have to get away from this." ... "And don't bring up the past." 😆
Note to men. Whoever breaks the marriage leaves the house! No questions asked 6:11
I honestly wish I could love 💕 Dave’s replies more….but I don’t think it’s even possible. A breakup is no longer personal…..THIS IS BUSINESS
Agree with you 100% the plug has been pulled and the house is going to be put on the market with my lawyer involved 👍 ❤😊
I know Dave preaches zero debt and no credit score. Putting that aside for a moment.
I've read some comments that say stop paying your half. You can do that, I mean you can do whatever you want but if the mortgage is not paid in full each month it will be BOTH your credit reports and scores that take a hit!! Your feelings won't trump that fact!
Who cares. I had repos and defaults on my credit, paid off all debt, and now have no credit. My bank account always trumps my past credit history.
@handleyobusiness And, lol. You can say who cares because clearly you just want to counter what I said, but IT IS TRUE! BYE NOW!
@@handleyobusiness I just gotta add, you're right you can have bad credit today, pay it all off, and eventually go long enough without debt get to no credit score.
It does NOT make what I said in my original comment untrue. But it's OK, I know this is the internet and we are all here just to argue.
@@GAFB1122 You just simply can’t handle reason without being so emotional. I was able to handle my business and settle my obligations without ever going bankrupt.
@@GAFB1122 I never said you was wrong. Yes your credit will take a large hit, but I don’t let a 3 digit number limit my life. Credit has hurt more people than it’s helped.
This can happen even if married. My sister in New Zealand left her husband after 25 years of marriage and he stayed up in the house and spun the divorce settlement out until they went to court last December and the Judge was fed up with him. Constant delaying and evasion tactics,he lied to the previous Judge about putting the house on the market over a year ago, sent emails to Real Estate agents falsely copying her in saying they were delaying the sale etc. Forced her to take him to court again and tried to claim the court costs off her. In December she got an affidavit together showing his lies in the court and to her and her lawyers. And finally he got the trouble he deserved.
This woman sounds very manipulativeShe's having a field day on their shared house. I hope he gets her out quickly.
But at least the wife can get attorneys fees and put him in jail if he violates the court order
@@glitterstarbeau not in New Zealand,they went back 3 times to court and only the last time was it classed as contempt of court because he told the Judge he would sell the house and then after said he didn't have to as it was in Trust and because he was omitting finacial reports and info etc.which my sister researched herself.
@@DivaClariceWilliamsThat’s New Zealand and their laws. Every state in America has their laws. But in a divorce, it’s clear what’s going to happen to shared assets. In this case because they’re basically roommates, he’s literally at her mercy. If they had been married, she could still jerk him around in the court system. But I don’t think she’d have as much success.
Sympathy for your sister who broke her vows: zero.
@@gorkyd7912 her ex husband broke his marriage vows that's why she left him. Shut up you bitter old man.
Yeah, the speed with which she broke up with him after they bought the house? Looks like she used him to buy a house she wouldn’t have been able to buy on her own and is strong arming him to keep it by just staying. She’s not as bright as she thinks, but cheaters never are.
Whats the difference between married or defacto
Sell the house and split the costs thats it
Go to court and get it legally done end of whether youre married or not
Its the same
I think it’s different in the US 🇺🇸 here in Australia once you’re living together 6 months your pretty much a de facto couple
I'm willing to bet she'll be moving her new boyfriend in the house soon if she already hasn't. No one leaves what they have unless they find something they think is better. Selling the house isn't about breaking even, it's about getting yourself financially separated from someone you are no longer with. He'll be on the hook for that mortgage for the next 15-30 years when she eventually defaults on the payments.
I know I'm late, but he should speak to an attorney before speaking to her so he has an idea of how an attorney could help. The last thing he wants to do is threaten getting an attorney only to find out he can't get one to help.
she'll try to steal it, then she won't be able to make the payments and have to give it up later.
There's no way i move out if I'm still paying. She's going to have a roommate until she agrees to move out
George with the Mansplaining quote “show her how math works!” 😂
3:48 apparently not
Facts DO NOT care about your feelings. Doesn’t mean you can’t be diplomatic. >
Yeah i wouldn't be moving out of anything that im currently paying for.
If you were smart you would absolutely move out on your own volition. If you aren’t smart, you would still move out but only after a trip to the county jail, a court order, and a lost job.
@@apersonontheinternet8006 maybe a loser like you but real men are not going to move out of something they pay for. First of all you have no legal obligation to move out. Second if you are afraid of being falsely accused then set up surveillance cameras. It's much cheaper to install cameras than to be paying double rent.
She benefits a lot to have the house and he pays his half of the mortgage. She gets the full house and half payment is a win win. She knows the maths 100%
I love Dave Ramsey
I’d be real curious what each of their incomes are. I was just talking to someone about the housing costs in Washington state and they said it’s unaffordable for most people to buy there. If this man makes more than she does, I would have to question if this was a plan she had to get herself in a house and then hope she can get away with it. Maybe not... but we know Washington is full of woke progressives, and we know woke struggle with their entitlement and accountability.
Same thing my wife was trying to do the moment she wanted out lol needless to say the house was sold.
We call it a suite for separation and is expensive but may be his only option.
What kind of recourse is there though? He can stop paying his half and they both take the hit if she can’t cover the other half?
5y from now she’ll still b living there and he will still b paying half
I made the exact same prediction earlier.
Yep.
How long before she realizes she can just stop paying, and he'll have to pay the WHOLE payment to save his credit.
And I think Dave is overestimating how easy it would be for a lawyer to force her to sell. Especially if she can demonstrate dependence on the living situation or indigence.
They got together when she was 22 what’s you expect?? You don’t go long term with someone that’s 22, go for 25+ for a better chance.
When/where do yall do these live shows?
She will have the guy she really wants move in and not pay the mortgage. The court case will take a long time and they will get free rent for a year.
I made this mistake. Fortunately, my ex agreed to sell her half to me in exchange for a stack of cash. It was worth it. I've learned my lesson.
But if she will not listen to reason, hiring an attorney for a partition sale will likely put them well underwater. That quickly, I am not sure how they would walk away with ANY proceeds (even 2k apiece) after closing costs. Most areas of the country real estate values are pretty static, and certainly not appreciating enough to cover commission, title charges, tax credits, et al quickly.
Nasty does not come cheap. So that is not in his best interests either. They DO need to figure it out on their own. It does probably make sense to hold onto the property for a certain level of appreciation though. In that case she needs to fully pay the mortgage if she is living there on her own. THAT is what I would discuss. Not trying to force a sale and loss.
Absolutely not, he needs to get that house sold yesterday even if at a loss. It is only a matter of time before she stops paying leaving him to foot the bill and she is likely to destroy the place on the way out out of spite either way.
The other option is for her to buy him out.
... not that she's going to have or get a loan for half the house value when she's worried about only getting 2k back.
With all due respect, and I do agree he has to speak to her in person + let her know he’ll have to take legal action if she does not comply, saying what was recommended EVEN CALMLY could easily be viewed as a threat. We do not need this young man to be under a DV restraining order on top of all this. If he can NOT say that it’s going to get ugly/nasty, and he ends up taking legal action then any decent judge is going to order her to comply. I also wonder why she has to put the house on the market? If she can then HE can, is that right? He can present her with a proposal to buy him out. She won’t do that but then he will have that proof.
4:48 Dude has income and capital gains taxes confused…
Short term capital gains, is taxes as income.
@@jimmymcgill6778 That is true. Didn’t think about it like that
Forget the conversation, they already had it. She said no and asked for two years, so the conversation is over. Hire a lawyer to give her two options: Put the house on the market or arrange a buy out. These are straightforward business transactions that may happen immediately.
I wonder if she could find a way to buy him out? Is it worth offering as an alternative?
I think the problem is not a math problem, it's that his lady does not understand how taxes work. She is thinking that if she bought a house for $246,00 and sells it for $250,000 they would have to pay taxes on the entire $250,000. However, they would only have to pay taxes on the increase of $4,000. She would only personally pay taxes on the $2,000. However, they are likely to spend more than that to pay the realtor and transaction fees, so they likely would deduct that and not need to pay any taxes at all.
That sigh at 5:53 seems a bit strange.
He's paying half her housing. That's why she doesn't want to sell.
Where are all the people from the previous thread who were saying that splitting up a house with your former shackup is easier than in a divorce?
The question they didn't ask him was what contract they signed between them regarding the house. That's the critical question. How easy this situation is to deal with depends on what's in that contract. (And, of course, whether there is one at all.) It should be a simple matter of implementing whatever course of action they agreed in advance they would take in this scenario.
@@thomasdalton1508 "It should be a simple matter of..." Add that to an infinitely expanding list of famous last words.
@@OscarSchneegans Preparation is everything. If it isn't simple it is because you didn't prepare properly.
@@thomasdalton1508 Okay. Good luck with that.
@@OscarSchneegans What do you see going wrong with that that wouldn't be at least as bad with marriage?
If she wants the house and he doesnt care and hes only going to net $2000 if they sell it, why cant she just take over the mortgage and he can walk away. Is the 2k really worth forcing the sale of the home?
For him to be able to "walk away", she would have to refinance the mortgage into her name only.
She's probably not likely to because....
1) The lender probably won't allow it unless she has a co-signer or is putting up a lot of cash up front.
2) Assuming she does qualify, her interest rate will increase, which will increase her mortgage payments. She'd have to be willing to accept this.
Yeah. That'll be the easiest way.
Good advice but you know that ain’t happening. She’s squatting in a place for half price and the guy is afraid of ruining his credit if he stops paying.
This happened to my son & he took on a roommate
Thanks for going back to the old intro music
Great advice on how to deal with it
they didn't really give any good advice needed Dave for that call
She can put the house on the market, but as long as she is living there, she can (and will) sabotage the sale.
He’s thinking with his heart and she’s banking on it. Follow what Dave has advised.
she had an ulterior motive - thinking she would get the house after a break-up because Shes a woman. Then got hit with harsh reality. Dont go easy on her