A Strange Dating Secret For Attracting Love | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
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When you picture meeting the love of your life, what do you imagine it feels like? If you're like most women, you imagine an instant knowing, or as I like to call it, that "lightning bolt moment" that is so common in Hollywood movies and romance novels. However, this expectation of an amazing sign that signals to you right away that this is your man, might be the very thing that's holding you back from calling him in. In this week's video, I reveal the strange dating secret that will open your heart and help you manifest him even sooner. Remember, to have something new in your life, you have to be willing to try something new in your life. So try this tip on for size and see what amazing opportunities it will bring you!
Please post a comment on this video... I'd love to hear your thoughts about this topic!
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Mat Boggs Bio:
As a sought-after dating and relationship coach for women and international speaker, Mat Boggs has helped thousands of women understand men, improve their relationships, and attract the relationship they want.
As the best-selling author of Project Everlasting, and creator of Cracking The Man Code, Mat Boggs dating and relationship advice has been featured on national media including The Today Show, CNN, Headline News, Oprah and Friends, and many more.
Mat s Mission: To increase love in the world, one heart at a time.
As a dating coach for women, Mat believes that your history does not determine your destiny, and that you are more powerful than any circumstance you are facing. The relationship dream in your heart really can become the life you love living!
Mat Boggs highly acclaimed relationship programs have served women around the world in all age groups from 20yrs old to over 70yrs old.
If you re interested in receiving help attracting love or improving your relationship click here: www.crackingthe...
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Relationship Coach For Women
Dating Coach For Women
Dating, Relationships, understanding men, Dating Advice, Love Advice Relationship Advice, How Men Think, What Men Want, What attracts men, How to attract a man, how to create lasting love, how to know if he likes you, signs your man likes you.
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I never really dated anyone until ...
I met my husband during a 1 year course I did, and he was at the same training centre doing an other course (he started a few months earlier). Normally everyone would go to the mess hall for lunch, but we had noticed something about each other and we ended up staying in the classroom for lunch, talking about anything and sharing laughs. Because of all those talks we both just knew: This is it, we're made for each other. After about 2 months of talking during lunch we went on our first proper date, dining at a Japanese restaurant (awesome memory!) ... that's now almost 17 years ago and we've been married for almost 15. Wouldn't change a thing, so blessed with this man.
But I full well know this is a rare thing.
Rare indeed but what an amazing love story! btw I like your flag :-)
Beautiful!!!! I have a story about my fiancee. Yes, I'm a man. I got a message from God, she picked up on it, and now we're waiting to be married. (It's a longer story than this.)
I couldn't agree more! I remember saying "it's too bad I'm not attracted to him" but if I hadn't accepted that third date, I never would have fallen for this guy.
When a guy genuinely shows interests and pursues. I cannot tell you how great it is when this happens and that is the kind of man worth dating.
I always look for safety. I have to genuinely feel safe with the person ..
For me there are three steps for wanting to date a guy: 1- he has to firstly be my type as far as appearance goes. 2- we need to have a common understanding of things and share a similar outlook on life. 3- and this one is very important- he needs to make me feel like a queen! And I don't mean it in a degrading way or something, it's always mutual. But I really need to feel that he's truly into me and excited to be with me.
If I find all these three qualities in a man, I'm hooked INSTANTLY and fall STUPID over hills 😄☺
I know when I feel safe around him, when he listens to me and wants to know more, when he wants to pay for meals, we can laugh together, respect each other's point of view and...see that sparkle in his eyes that lifts my heart. Then, I know I want to date him.
For me, it's definitely the connection which I am looking for.I am 1.86 m tall woman and I always dated only tall guys, but not anymore. I learned to pay attention to the qualities a person can influence so I don't care about height, size, age or whatever. Because sometimes logically the guy was perfect for me but it was missing some spark. I met a 10 cm smaller and 15 years older guy and we had this amazing connection that after 8 hours together I wanted more. You just feel it :)
Lots of shared interest, things to talk about. Feels somewhat effortless and fun.
The only relationships that work for me is when the man wants me more than I want him.
I always went after that "same type" like you said. Very handsome, extremely fit. They all turned out to be not so good fits. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and at first he was the only one I though I didn't have great chemistry with. I didn't want to give him a chance but I did, so glad I did! Great advice, Matt
Amanda Me too. Glad you shared your experience here. I could seriously slap myself for being so superficial and watching out for the wrong guys - looks are nice, but I honestly have to pull myself together, grow up and watch out for qualities in a man, that really matter in the long run... I really hope you‘re still together with your boyfriend, but even if you‘re not, I‘m sure you learned from this experience.😊
Amanda Me too. Glad you shared your experience here. I could seriously slap myself for being so superficial and watching out for the wrong guys - looks are nice, but I honestly have to pull myself together, grow up and watch out for qualities in a man, that really matter in the long run... I really hope you‘re still together with your boyfriend, but even if you‘re not, I‘m sure you learned from this experience.😊
Love at first sight ! I just know ! The men I dated just to give them a chance , it never worked out well... I will never do it again. I will date men with chemical attraction, otherwise I prefer to stay alone.
Same experience. It can't be forced.
Jessie Jane YESS!!
Need to remember that we are a bit nervous and closed when we meet someone for the first time and they very likely are the same, so better to meet at least for a 2nd time to give them a chance and so that you can relax a bit so that he sees you in a different light.
I have spent months investigating get a date and discovered a fantastic website at Shawthing Dating Advice (google it if you are interested)
Seriously, I think this is the best video you've ever made, Matt! I've always been a kind of person looking to fall in love, and soon after I started dating, the guy would say he loved me (like 1 month later), and I would go with the flow., not knowing if I really loved him, and then convincing myself because of his looks or whatever. I always caught myself falling in love before establishing a solid friendship... and I would become too vulnerable to getting hurt; which was always the case. Now I'm dating this guy. When we first started dating, I told him I was looking to date my best friend and let me tell you, it's been the best ride I've ever had. We have been having so much fun together! We are so alike that we barely need to compromise, and when we do, it's really not a "sacrifice" at all. It's been 3.5 months now and we still haven't said the L word to each other, but he does say that he cares a lot about me, that he likes me a lot, and he's always including me in his future plans (which I think is so awesome and cute). Now, I have a question... how long is the normal time for a guy to say he loves the girl he's dating? Because I am totally head over heels for him and wish I could hear that from him... I say this because I know how I feel 100%, and if I tell him first, I don't want him to be going with the flow this time (like I did before, with my other relationships). He shows me with actions how much he cares about me, and I know that that has so much more value than those 3 little words. I just wanted to be sure we are on the same boat, I guess, because I'm really scared to get hurt again... I've been through way too much already...
Anyway, I think if we establish that friendship first, everything turns out to be better. There's nothing like dating our best friend, right?. Crazy thing, this is the first time I can say it has happened to me! I guess I just needed to voice it out! lol :)
Gabi Brandao every single description you've said is exactly what I'm going through right now wow! it's so hard cos I'm in your place. so I too, am confused to see where if we're on the same boat of mutual feelings. he tells me he likes me a lot, he shows his care thru his actions and we've both fallin in love (blinded love) too fast in the past.
Chris Joseph that's so cool. I'm happy for you too! I just wish he would say it, then everything would be perfect!! Lol!
Gabi Brandao I have been dating him since October last year so this is our 5th month and I'm getting a lil frustrated lol. How's yours going? Hope you find your answers soon !
Chris Joseph I've been dating him since last October too! Lol! I'm not frustrated (yet)... just scared to get hurt in case he doesn't feel the same way...
OMG !!!!!!!!!! We are sooo universal right now! Haha glad to have met somebody in my shoe! I've been getting signs and advice from friends to just be up front and state my thoughts clearly to him so maybe that's something we can do, but it's harder to do for sure.
I guess I get this "hmm, interesting" feeling. Feeling like I'd like to know more...
It's either there or it's not...there HAS to be chemistry💯! When there is, I give it to God & pray only His will be done. I am single & 33. Not desperate. Wishing love to all this year
Hi Matt,
I am looking to date a person taller than me, same group age as me, sense of humour and quemistry is a must.
Let out my long list of expectations, still I found hard to date someone that I am not attractive to.
There is a divorce man who invite me out several times, I feel bad to make excuses but he is not my type.
would love to be more willing to try with anyone but my expectations keep crashing me. I have been single 2 years.
love your videos and good of you to change the background from time to time ;)
When he treats his mom, family and others around him. Who has a spiritual side and clearly genuine.
This topic is very important for women, Thank you for making this video!
Respect, consistency, openness, adventurous, loyalty
If I find the guy intriguing , interesting to talk to . He makes me want to know more about him and I feel that he wants to know more about me
joumzette. But he's married
I'm so happy you made this video because this is what I tell people too and they think I'm a bit crazy! haha! I say that you need to allow the chemistry to grow and that could take a few dates. If you have that "instant" chemistry, it might actually mean that's the worst person you can connect with because that feeling of the person being "the one" is often your wounds aligning with their wounds and all you're going to do together is re-wound one another and it ends up being a dramatic and toxic relationship! ;-)
Hi Matt, love your advice. It was great to meet you last week in LA.
For me its more on physical attraction but once I've seen his character like if he's a good conversationalist, decent and funny. Sense of humor is important.
I'm like you, I look for the "strike me like lightening" affect. I've learned great life lessons from encounters like those from those particular people, but it never lasted. But I'll never take back meeting them.
Mary R. Same!! It's always interesting meeting new people but when you know you know..
Your videos are always a great watching experience. THANK YOU for teaching me great lessons. It's appreciated! Have a beautiful day Matt.
Needed this reminder. Thanks, Matt.
Man must be able to be friend first :-)
Matthew, I have a question for you - how to know when to try harder and pursue a certain career and when to quit? how did you break through in the beginning? how did you know you should keep trying?
Good flow of conversation.
I haven't dated a lot, but when I think back on the men that I wanted to keep seeing, they were lighthearted, engaging, patient, attentive without being creepy, and respected my boundaries. And, like someone else here commented, someone with whom I felt safe.
I once saw an interview with Sophia Loren, talking about her marriage to Carlo Ponti (22 years her senior), and she was asked how she knew she wanted to be with him. She said, "The best partner is someone with whom you can be serene..."
Omgosh. This is so weird, as I JUST had this thought this morning, almost exactly. So, I'm taking it as I'm on the right track. :) Thanks so much!
So true, Matt. Attraction can take time!
Thanks Matt, greetings from Bogotá, Colombia.
When they're not intimidated by me, laugh at my jokes, and are ready for a relationship.
Hi, Matthew. I am seeing this guy for 3 months now. He is different from the others I met online because he wants to see more than just shortimes during weekdays. We actually spend weekends and having a great time. But the thing is I sensed that somewhere while we were just starting that he has not totally moved from his painful past but I did not say anything or demand anything from him than what he had been giving me. Until one day I realized I have been feeling empty when we are not together and only feels ok when we are which is not right. So I decided to ask him this way while we were having a fun night and both of us were kinda in the mood to talk about anything-then I thought it was the right time to ask this- "hey, what am I to you" and he answered by telling me how his past broke him and that he is not ready for any commitment now or anytime soon. And that he is still finding himself because the past made him lost himself. And I thought ok- he needs more time but I said it out loud and he heard me and he answered again that if I want something serious now and plans to have a family or a baby or something I should not waste my time giving him time and that I should work it out with someone else because he really thinks that he is not capable of granting that desire of mine. I got frozen. I know he likes me by all the attention he gives me whenever we are together but not when we are not. I should stop seeing him after the conversation but I find it hard to do so. I thought that staying or going hurts the same. Maybe staying will be save me more heartaches but I know also that if i just live for the moment like what he does maybe it will do something good to me as long as I will try to be positive... I am confused... I like him so much that I do not want to let go of him yet without even trying hard... You believe that maybe he will develop feelings for me if I will hang on and give him the time he needs while he is still recovering? Because I am willing to do that if someone can tell me that I am not just daydreaming of the hopes that he might will....
I need some enlightenment...
Thankyou:). I just have to meet people to date now.
Hi Mathew! I have been watching your videos for 2 years and I got engaged on Wed. I appreciated nice suggestions on relationship. Also, I am hoping you may give some suggestions for couples. Like how to build a good marriage. Thanks!
I got out of a 5 year relationship with someone who I rushed things with, we just weren't a good match and pushed it too long. I'm glad to move on. I got back into the dating scene and went on two dates with someone where we had some fun but could tell that it wasn't going to work and both ended it amicably, I'm glad I tried it out because it was still worthwhile to meet new people! I'm currently seeing someone who I have more in common with and chemistry with, it's very very new so I don't know if it will last but, we are having fun and dating to see if we should date each other just like the video mentions lol
I look for a great smile, curiosity, excitement, and not having my major no's (smoking, religious, unadventurous eaters) - ok I'm sure I'll least have a good time and happy to go on a date to see if we want to go on another date.
I positivity know I'm at this stage where I'm not feeling anything early on so I have to just go on and date the guy to see if I have fun or feel anything. I'm not feeling sparks when I look at any guy anymore so here we goooo! Lol!
Wow..
For me I first have to have attraction whether it be physical or intellectual... then the conversation needs to be able to flow. If he can't communicate... I'm done. Everything else I give them the benefit of the doubt on.
When he shows respect to his mom and family and others as well, that way I know that I'll be treated the same way. Plus he has a spiritual life that is amazing!! It's not love at first sight for me. I like to get to know a man first so I will know if I want to get to know him further. Marriage is an awfully large step, this being said, I want to have an amazing life with an adventurous and compassionate person. Goals are very important, growing as individuals. Making marriage work cause I and whom ever deserve an amazing life together. 😎
I wish I could take this advice. I end up not connecting after a few dates and having to hurt the guy that I knew wasn't it. My grandmother always said don't take a date that wouldn't be a good mate..lol. But I usually love your advice. 😊
I enjoyed this video really.....thank you boggs
Matt, you are absolutely right! Thank you.
There's someone I'm looking to date right now, actually. He's very friendly, social, hard-working, and shares the same beliefs as I do. He also seems to talk to me the most of everyone around us, and and always takes his breaks the same time as I do at work just to talk to me. Do you think he's interested in me?
Thanks Matt! This just happened to me last night. Wasn't sure about this guy AT ALL. We had the most memorable first interaction and after finaly going on a date with him sure enough it became one of the most memorable dates I've ever been on! Turns out we could really talk to eachother, we had similar passions and we even met his friends by accident and decided to join tables. Even though I am still not 'reaaalllyyyy' sure, I'm down for a nother date if he asks nicely ;)
For me it's really the feeling I get when I'm around him. He makes me smile and laugh. He brings out the best in me and I feel like I can be myself. I'm usually very attracted to him and think about him all the time. But for some reason nothing is working for me. Men aren't asking me out and my co-worker just said "thanks buddy" via text message when I commended him on his work....as if to signal that he's not feeling me at all. I've had a crush on him for months now and at first he seemed interested but apparently I was wrong. I can't date (to know if I want to date him) a man who doesn't want to date me.
When I'm excited about his call or txt I want to date him
I'm currently dating someone to see if I want to date them. It's pretty awesome. thanks for sharing and being so great. = ) I'm new-ish to your channel.
How do I know when I find someone I want to date? There's an indescribable "something" that holds my interest about the person. This is crucial because the most important factor in any relationship for me is the mental connection. This must be there to even start. It's so important that no relationship can last without it.
How do I have to feel to know I want a second date? If he made me feel attractive and interesting on our first date; if he took the time to ask me questions about myself and then actually listened to the answers; and if we laughed a lot together the chances are good I'll see him again.
Of course things like gross oral hygiene, yelling at the waiter, groping me, talking about his ex most of the time, will get seriously weighed against any positive stuff.
When the attraction is there instantly - the "love at first sight" thing that I believe is more about pheremones than real love - sometimes it works and sometimes it totally blows up. To me it's a distraction that I need to work through before I make the real decision about someone.
They make me smile.
Hi Mat
For me to date someone I need to feel happy and good with that person. For me there has to be a good level of friendship first for me to connect with that person and take a step ahead and date him. Sometimes you get attracted to someone with whom you have nothing in common and sometimes to someone who is exactly your mirror. In both cases what matters is how well you bond as friend. Coz if that person cannot be my good friend, he cannot be a good partner too:-)
I fast-forwarded to when I'm 80 and I'm sitting next to him on the porch. As I look back on our life together, what made US work? Then I made a list of qualities I would need. Some I can see from a distance like kindness and generosity. Others, I do need to get closer to see.
Great insight Matt - very helpful, thanks so much. If I see someone with Tatts I immediately so NO which closes a door but to me tatts show a person's attitude about themselves - might be judging here of course :)
I like to date someone that I'm already comfortable with. A friendship that has already developed at least at the first stage. Then if their is chemistry and a connection. I also want to be pursued, but sometimes seems as though I have to do a little nudging, but letting it seem as if its their idea.
I look at his personality and see if We click well. I have a question for you: how do I know if he is asking me on a date or just to hangout as friends?
Hi matt , love all your videos watch several time , please can you post video about age , women older than his boyfriend, can it work
thank you. love from ALGERIA
To Kinga: I thought I had love at first sight. I think I did. I want to date a man with incredible understanding and acceptance for what is imperfect. Can he please not expect so much? Also, will he please Not bring up sexual innuendos (immediate turn off cuz I think he is moreoever looking for hookup rather than wanting to know *me*. Man of character, patience, lot of love for people and respect for me, which I thought this one man had.
It was love at first sight..AMAAAZING connection phone and email..and a horrendous night when I met him at club. I still like him; I am going to ask him again for a date..to see if I really want to date..and as of now..kind of doubt it but worth a try.
What GREAT advice Matt you're my favorite!!
So good ❤️
I don't know... maybe when I see how kind he is to everyone, I'm a sucker for kind hearted people😀
Hi Matt, why would a guy consistently walk in front of a woman he's dating? My ex would always walk really fast, a few steps ahead of me and I'd have to jog-walk to keep up with him. I'm just curious why he did this, as he wasn't exceptionally tall or anything to account for this behavior. He would also open car doors for me but never shut them. I found this a bit odd lol.
AugustAdvice. HaHa
AugustAdvice Guess he wants to let you know that he is an "alpha"- assh...
Hi :) I think you should pay close attention to that behavior. It could just be his nerves or his need to protect you, but it could be an indication of something bigger. In my opinion when men walk 2 feet ahead of their partner they are exerting their dominance in the relationship. He has no desire to walk side-by-side and expects you to shuffle after him. Keep an out of for his other interactions. Does he cut you off when speaking? Is he friendly with people outside of the relationship? Couple that behavior with everything else so that you can get a gauge on his character.
hey matt I've alredy seen maby vídeos about atraction, seduction, better understanding of a man, but couldn't find betwen them an answer to this: I attracked many man that I find awesome to share our time, tastes, life projects. And now I'm taking my time to decide (and to see if It's time to decide) if I want everyone or just one. The inconnvinient? they don't know each other's existence in my life and I'm not abble to find a healthy way to comunicate them this situation just because they will feel betrayed. How do you figure it out, inside masculine mind, a sincere conversation.
We went on two dates and he ghosted on me after asking if I liked him and when I opened up to him he ghosted which is the most painful thing ever as I played hard to get and the second I opened up to him he ghosted on me
+amal mia, this is my mantra: Rejection is Protection!
I am looking for consistency. But being over 40, the guys I'd like to date always turn out to be taken... 😛
Well when I date someone the look doesnt really matter but I look for one thing and it's: if he can be a good listener. I dont talk much but when I do I need to know there is this special someone that will give me this safe place. Sadly im kindda young and guys my age want to do other stuff, talking is not one of them..
Well I must be attracted to him or at least think he's cute, and I must get a good vibe from him (seems like a good genuine person). Being mature is definitely an asset. and by date i mean go on a date with not be in a relationship with
A man with the same interest. I do go out with guys just to see if we do have something in common. So far none of them had any shared interest. This ended up being just physical. Except when I was seeing this one guy it was not physical. I would not let this one go that far. I'm glad I broke it off we never connected. I tried so hard and he was not interested he just wanted a physical relationship. Now when I date, the man has to have a shared interest other wise there will be no connection.
Hi Matt, how many chances should give that person before you know if you should or should not date them?
I like to be attracted from the start but there have been guys who seemed not my kind of type at first, but after spending some time with them i completely changed my opinion, I realize it is not the looks that count but so much more. Anyway I really don't like short and thin men. If such case the furthest we can get is a good friendship.
If I want to kiss that man on the first date..... then I want a second date. I have tested this theory and it has proved true for me.
Hey Mat ....What if after dating him and find out that he is not the one but he has a different opinion...how to cut him of without hurting his feelings ?
Nice video. I personally look for sanity.... not all "dateable" men are to be dated.
How I would know if I want to date that person is our natural connection. If we have similar belief and if we do, what level of respect and understanding of its Value of the belief. We are taught Values early in our childhood and depending upon how much we've experienced life Journey determines for me how much you've valued what you've been taught and whether you've matured through that journey of values. Peace
Karla Winters
I look if he is kind and open minded
Gracias
i want to date a person if his a GOD fearing man.. if we have chemistry, connection- if there is a want to see him again, to talk to him... if were ready to date agin, i mean if we feel whole and no emotional bagage to still carrry, if there no red flags, no feelings from inside that telling us to stop, i mean it will be easy, no tag of war inside everytime we talk....he will help me to achieve my purpose in life... if his not making me second option...
Hi Matt Can A Friend Who Just Meet Be More Than Friend And Be A Boyfriend SomeDay? Should You Trust Him Completely Or Learn From Each-Other First? I Am Puzzle & Amazed??
I don't want to date anybody. doing what you said is really scary. I don't want to let anybody in. I defiantly don't want random sex. I believe in love. the right guy is the right guy he can hardly mess things up. I mean it would be really hard to of course I could wreck things too but I don't want to throw love away.
I look for a man with a sense of humor and athletic build. I also look for friendly and laid back men.
how do if he what i if kiss you but i dont no if he play me or not
pls i need assistance i am loving a guy and i told him but because of he's ex's attitude that let to their break up makes him doesn't have a hrt to Luv again...and i want just him pls what should i do?
Why can't i give this video 10 thumbs up???
opps meabingful conversation.
I am not really sure!I dont really give chsnce anyway
Did you had a nose job ? It looks so good on you!
Aileen here from +lheensayleen
I love to date a man who makes me feel secure around him...
Thanks... but no thanks... I know what I want
but yea , you could be with a hot looking guy but he could be dull
a man who choose to be loyal to woman that he likes
If I see someone that I feel I would love to know. I put my hand pn his forearm if no static sorry no date. Yep probably lost a good one. But that electrical momento has to be there. It was with my husband and years later with one gentleman but he and i were just friends. But I like a man that has a sense of humour, and loves life.
well nationality not a bigy so thats cool ar kind honest respectfull
You have sweaty pits 😂😂😂
Lisa Fanucchi so true. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying because I kept staring at his underarms!! 😂
Solange Altarac me too!! 😂😂😂