I’ve got a favour to ask! If you enjoy this, please double check that you’ve liked the video and subscribed to the channel! Thats a small way you can help us carry on doing this ❤️🙏🏾 really appreciate you!
Such a great episode Dr. K Great to see you over here. Now back to your channel to watch your videos. I believe every teenager would benefit immensely from your channel and videos.
You are an incredible energy, Dr K! Time is the ultimate luxury and spending it listening to you always seems like the best investment. Your wit and sensitivity are so perfectly merged that when I experience your podcasts or interviews it's like I'm in a presence of a higher being guiding me to a state of awareness I have never achieved before - while backing it all with scientific data which I especially appreciate. Kudos to you and Steven for giving us these mind-nourishing meetings
This insight is absolutely true. As an undergraduate student I had one last exam which I needed to pass with flying colours in order to enter the graduate program I had already been accepted to, which depended upon this one last exam. I was a nervous wreck. My wise father said, " Think of all the hurdles you have already overcome. Watch the movie "National Velvet. " Of course I did watch the movie; I did well on the exam, all because of the perspective my father gave me to look back at the obstacles and how they too were overcome. Truly, I appreciate you saying aloud with conviction, that we learn best not from words, but from our own failures, as we strive for solutions.
@@ReyDChapa honestly depends on what you're looking for! His Friday deep dives into specific topics are so good. I really love his views on things like PTSD and trauma, and how our brains and bodies learn and adapt around trauma.
I think the most common reason people are unhappy is because they’re doing what is expected of them rather than listening to and fulfilling their own desires.
Happiness is always measured as the "gap" between expectations and reality. My car broke down today and I was mostly confused but also annoyed and irritated. We broke down in the heat of the desert and as I rushed to get a rescue I watched my child and dog start to get really affected by the heat. When my relative was able to come get us I wasn't annoyed anymore I was just relieved and grateful. The tow truck ditched us, the rental car fell through once, everything went wrong but for the rest of the day I was GIDDY. I was so happy because my "expectation" level was set in the moment I watched my dog's eyes flutter closed from the heat. When a whole generation's expectation level is set by porn and social media, the standard is unmeetable and the gap will be large. Obviously they are unhappy!
This man is such a gem. His knowledge, his compassion, his honesty, his ability to be vulnerable and confident at the same time, truly an astonishing Person.
He said: “A traumatic upbringing = children can’t plan for the future”. And this is why I am stuck. Just a child getting older. It’s time that I free myself. I needed to hear that.
Hello, random internet stranger here; when someone actually (finally) diagnosed me with cptsd, we started emdr therapy and it changed my life for the better. Before this, I knew I was 'different' but wasn't sure why. Getting the treatment to manage the root cause is the best thing I can advise. Good luck - you've got this.
@@martinjohnson2381 Remember that not all therapies work for everyone, some can even be harmful. If that is the case it is important to stop the therapy immediately. Like mindfullness therapy and meditation. Sounds harmless but can make dissociation worse. It's fantastic that you found something that worked for you.
Look up Pete Walker, Bessel van der Kolk, and Heller and LaPierre (Book: Developmenatal Trauma). Take the pieces that work for for you. Their books helped me more than therapy.
Fair point, one size doesn't fit all; really the jist of my point is find a good professional and explore the options with them. I was just sharing my experience and that this therapy worked wonders for me.
I felt so seen and called out with this episode, literally the best podcast I've seen this year. It really helped me understand how every success increased my imposter syndrome rather than building confidence.
@@cinemaximum5654 There's a lot I could elaborate on, but I assume you mean the imposter syndrome bit. The TLDR version is, I've been running from failure my whole life. I had a rough childhood but after therapy I managed to go from a high school drop out to a working professional with a degree in a STEM field. I never felt secure in my accomplishments though, I've always felt like I was one mistake away from it all falling apart. Everything I ever attempted that I thought I might fail at, I just gave up right away. I had an attitude of if I'm not really trying I'm not failing, and if I put in the effort it would be a waste of time. The only 'failures' I've experienced were some bad dates or job interviews because I've avoided everything else that was too hard.
@@cinemaximum5654 I haven't watched it yet but I would assume it's because pride doesn't increase confidence. it just puts a band-aid on insecurity, but it doesn't remedy the real issues.
Needing negative energy to change makes so much sense. It explains why hitting rock bottom motivates people to change. When someone keeps being rescued from the consequences of their choices then there is no reason to change their behavior! 💡
Very well put. People need to motivate themselves to "make the change". ~ "When someone keeps being rescued from the consequences of their choices then there is no reason to change their behavior!"
2 місяці тому+2
Wonderful wonderful good diagnoses precedes good treatment.
O my goodness!!! "No matter what you do that kid will keep coming out" this is bang on ....just had a breakthrough... man!!! This is the best podcast i am ever seeing...now i can see why i always see im at fault....as a 3 year old i was punished and felt the emotion of humiliation for the first time....tho that scene keeps coming back to me but i never realized that how much it has been affecting me all my life...i still operate from that place...im 50 now and it is still with me ....
Best DOAC ever, in fact the best experience i have had with any format of learning in my 46 years on this planet. All for free in the comfort of my home. Thank you Dr Alok and well done Steven, well done!.
Trauma Healing = Self awareness + being present. This is a lot of work and reflection. I only started my self-awareness journey 6 years ago and the amount of things that I needed to unpack is incredible. Some harsh truths that slapped me across the face then got me to sit with myself to figure shit out. I then told my wife that as parents the only thing we need to make sure that the kids are aware of is themselves. We then have opened the path to lead them to all the opportunities that they want to pursue based on who they are. Stephen you’re the man! Dr K, simply brilliant! Thank you again for taking the time to teach us.
@@Cobalt_11 Becoming self aware for me was being aware of my feelings which involves asking where they come from and why I feel them. I try and reflect daily, considering what I accomplished and what I could improve, both personally and professionally. I focus on being present by paying attention, letting others finish speaking and truly listening.This is challenging because managing my attention span can be difficult. While this approach may vary for each person, I find that activities like exercising, dancing and fasting help me stay alert and present. I also make a conscious effort not to get lost in work, as I run a small business and I try not to get caught working in the business. Hence stepping back to take in the moment and when needed, to reflect.
congratulations, but you can't just teach your child to be self-aware and claim your duty as a parent done. They're extremely impressionable and can't handle things like adults can. They need to be taught how to GROW. How to bloom. You can know all about your troubles and everyone else's troubles or what excites you but still be stuck in the dirt because of how you've been raised. As an addict, I know this to be facts. I was a self aware child but never brought my greatest problems to my parents because I was horrified that I would hurt them, even as they hurt me in ways they couldn't understand without me telling them. This extrapolates to all the scary things about childhood. You need to teach your children to confront problems, or they'll just pretend they don't exist, or maladapt in another way. You know, all that screen time makes it extremely easy for kids to become highly fragile. If all you teach is awareness, your child will be so, so aware of how overwhelming the world is. How are they to live in it? That's my point. Teach them how. Don't just support, guide. Raise. Have a good one.
I've never once commented on one of your videos, but I feel compelled to state how important this one was. This may be my favourite podcast I've watched, and what a blessing that I just so happened to ask my mother to watch it with me.
Ooooh I loved this one! He is right Steven, keep doing what you're doing and don't ponder on better. As a 52 year old woman who grew up as a child with absentee parents , I felt hex was speaking to me when he said that your brain becomes patterned to thinking about survival, not about how to succeed or plan your future.
1:36:52 I automatically cried at this part. I'm a kid who grew up believing that I HAD TO do it all MYSELF, I CAN'T depend on others. I didn't understand at first when Dr.K said, "It's kinda sad, bro," until he explained the example of a kid who can depend on his family. Even nowadays the trauma still gets me when I see similar conversations/situations. Even though I can depend on myself already. It still hurts knowing that my life since I was born is some sort of debt I need to pay back with one of my parents. But in another positive way, I also want my future kids (If it's possible) to feel like they're lucky to have me as a dad.
this is probably the single most important and useful podcast i've seen. People forget that humans are animals, and we have moved into a world we were never meant to live in. That js the #1 cause for most issues in our so society
I totally feel this! I have a really crazy shroom experience where I uncovered a LOT of repressed thoughts and feelings around being an animal. I really struggled with what that could mean about who I am and what I need from that animals perspective. But I also struggled from a "civilized" perspective because at the same time the animal nature repulsed me. Deep Stuff! I am glad people are mentioned this like you did just now
@@karakim9213 Yes! I always try to put myself in the position of 'if I was living primitively as humans used to, what would i do?'. That alone helped me come out of the back and forth conflict in my mind whether it be with social issues, dietary, mental health, etc. It is definitely difficult to apply it to social situations as many people will not understand and label you a crazy hippie conspiracy theorist nut... or at least i have been called that.
I constantly remind people that we’re animals! That’s why people do a lot of the horrible things in the society that don’t make sense! Sorry to say, but especially men have more of an animal instinct that women!
@@bcbro142 I wouldn't say males have more animalistic instincts because we are all animals no matter the sex. If you are referring to horrible things such as violent crimes I'd think it would probably relate more to testosterone in males.
Thank you SO MUCH for having another interview/conversation with Dr. K this year. Both of you are so thoughtful and self-reflective, I really appreciate your work. And as a white female therapist, I greatly appreciate Dr. K's work on advocating for the needs of men.
not only is he a smart and learned, but I'd say that he is positionned at a nodal point of a lot of issues that society runs through currently and is wanting to change ! - gaming addiction - social media affecting our relationships and sense of self - gender issues (mostly the men identity crisis) - mental health awareness - limitations of therapy - the paroxysm of capitalism and its consequences on materiality and spirituality (meaning at the same time that we're the richest we've aver been, but also won't have a perspective of getting much higher)
This guy is genius in his field, I give it to him for putting in the many years of research and study to get to this point, his understanding of the human minds function and how it all physically affects us is out of this world magnificent. That part about purpose being an attitude, not a thing pure gold! Give him his flowers👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾huts off Dr. K🙌🏾♥️
The depth increased exponentially as the video progressed, god damn. Truly such a valuable podcast! It's also so freakin cool how it become a bit like a psychiatry session for Steven. Such a unique format for a podcast ✨
Your authenticity, humility, curiosity, pleasant voice and cheeky giggle are what have made your podcast so successful. Ranked in order from most to least important.
Thanks for this convo! The super-short version of what is happening with the tapping mentioned is that those acupressure points have nerve concentrations that send a calming signal to the limbic system and nervous system when stimulated. Recent studies show the points themselves really matter when compared with placebo sham-points or no tapping, more than you might expect. So when you think and speak about something that has a stress response, including painful memories, but communicate safety to the body through the physical touch, the association between the event and emotion can be disconnected. Lots of tapping rounds on my channel if you don't mind the shameless plug, but with trauma it is best to work with a practitioner you trust :)
I sobbed for at least an hour thanks to this podcast episode. Dr. K touched on so many topics that have affected me my whole life and that I hadn't gotten full clarity on until now. The main things that have been plaguing me in the last few months/years have all been addressed. It was an eye opening experience. thank you.
I lost my wife a few months ago to cancer. I love your podcasts they have really helped me understand myself as a business owner, a husband and a father. I wish this one came out years ago. It would have really helped me find peace in my life instead of focusing on providing at the cost of quality time.
These days I’ve been leaving my phone behind, and go on long drives while listening to 80s music and synth wave. Very good for mental health. Encourage all men to give it a try.
i personnaly limit all notifications. just messages and calls and i go on do not disturb at 9 or 10pm. and i dont text ppl. we see eachother are call. text are no longer then 10min and usually just to give information and set up a call or to see someone.
WOW this was probably the best episode I’ve ever seen and listened to in my life! Dr. K was so good at explaining everything in a way that was so high level to understand. Thank you so much !
I love how Dr K makes me laugh, smile, shout out yes and take me away into my own world of thoughts. This is an incredible episode. Love it! Thank you!!
This idea that talking about the problem and venting online keeping you stuck, is mind blowing, and I immediately knew it was true. I can actually use this to improve my life. Thank you
Yeah I look around on social media and see people venting endlessly. Same topics and talking points over and over. That is just digging them a deeper hole to climb out of
@@brianmeen2158The answer seems that one needs to get to ‘the NEUTRAL STATE OF MIND’. That state of mind is a GOALESS moment were you plan nothing but do small useful things , most of them beneficial to others. Sounds simple but not easy 😊
@@marco7838no high average testosterone in men is linked with success backed by studies cuz it increases competitiveness confidence but impulsive aggressive. Some similarities but completely different
Its like trauma weakens your ability to feel positive emotions, so when planning for the future you have no positive emotions to guide you or pull you towards and future you want. Because negative emotions will only push you away from current situations but won't help you move towards anything.
@@IdeeFixeGamerthis is very significant. Trauma weakens your ability to feel positive emotions. Repeatedly trauma makes it worse and worse: At this point I cannot sustain positive emotions. It isn’t I don’t want to. I cannot feel them. We need to acknowledge as a society that saying heal yourself to a highly traumatized person may not help, because they literally may not know how. My theory is that trauma breaks the part of your brain thinking life can ever be fair. We want to believe we get what we give, at least sometimes. If what we get is not related in any way to our effort or inherent worth, how can you have any hope for the future. Imagine you had a physically abusive spouse after being molested as a child. Now you are considering trying to date again. I will likely have learned that others can and will harm me, and I end up getting blamed for their behavior (you chose them) rather than them even though nothing in your life set you up to understand people’s good or bad intentions. Going into the future, you can easily imagine bad outcomes, but good ones are obviously questionable so you avoid the pain you know.
Fabulous interview, thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story, and one of my favourite quotes from Dr. k was, “it doesn’t matter how much you build, the traumas still there”, or something like that, and “your sense of identity” what a wonderfully passionate guy…nothing, in my experience and thank god, in all that the world keeps showing us, is trauma, doesn’t go away….Ive spent over 30 years working on healing trauma… I think it’s a process. This Dr. just so good…❤ huge props to you both
This was the one that made me follow. This was remarkably relatable. It's more of a conversation of..."I've seen that, I've been there....I understand" ... relatable to deep feelings of being who we are. This will be on repeat as I feel depending on what I'm going through different parts will stand out to me.
Not true if you do not have the ability to extricate yourself from the trap. Then that's just another hell. Quit justifying cutting social programs scatting on vulnerable people
I rarely leave a comment, but this was one of the best podcasts I've listened to. I didn't want it to end! I know for sure I'll be coming back to this again. Thanks so much, Steven, for your authenticity and vulnerability. You being you is what makes these podcasts and conversations so valuable, and I'm utterly grateful for that! 🙏♥️
Wow! One of the most powerful interviews, Dr.K is one of those gems you’ll like to have as a therapist , so much knowledge and so honest, i’ll play this again and again.
I think social media is destroying more relationships than anything. Ive seen it lived it and survived it. This podcast was absolutely amazing and completely spot on about relationships and the many issues we face in them. I actually meditate now and when i speak to people I don't project any negativity because venting about your problems doesn't really help and can actually create more problems. If your happy and social than it will definitely follow you in life.
Social media is for sure ruining relationships. Some people believe all the negative info that’s posted. The biggest problem is the “no contact” with people who love them, because of one flaw, they go on social media, claims that person is toxic and they just disappear from that persons life, leaving the discarded person with major emotional issues…..it’s all about the “me” on social media, no one is teaching forgiveness, communication, compromise, just negative behaviours.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is probably the greatest, if not the greatest episode I’ve heard and learned on a podcast….EVER! Wow, I may have finally discovered the therapist I’ve been looking for lol. Every word shared on this show was sublime force at work. Just excellent & thank you! 💯
"Just Be." As a full time yoga therapist and yoga teacher in NYC, this was most certainly a podcast on the practice of yoga, especially after the first hour. What an incredible conversation filled with invaluable gems. Thank you, Dr.Kanojia for sharing your wisdom. Steven, much respect and gratitude for being vulnerable and for allowing yourself to be the subject of some of the topics discussed in this podcast and in so many of your other episodes. We learn from what you're learning - grateful!
Dr K I love you. I appreciate everything that you do for your community. As a woman , I’ve learned so many things about self improvement, my adhd and more from you. Thank you for all you do ❤❤❤
When Dr K starts rocking back and forth in his chair you know he's getting ready to do some serious therapying! And that smile from Steven was amusement but it was seasoned with '' holy s*** He's smarter than me...AND he actually sees me.'' first time I've ever heard Steven (sp) engage in word salading. 😮
Oh, finally! This guy is smart, listen to him no matter who you are. Edit: I am at 46 minutes of watching now and thinking this really might be one of the most important videos on UA-cam history! I really really hope people all over the world listen to this. I hope especially all men listen to this. I hope you share this to your friends, share this in your social media and save it to your playlists for your followers to find. This is really important.
This has been my favourite episode EVER. Clinical EFT Tapping absolutely transformed my life, Dr K is on the money! Retraining the subconscious sense of identity and self-worth using neuroplasticity, is absolutely KEY to permanent change!
This was probably one of the most profound podcasts you have done. The ending of "you are enough" was like an alarm bell. This podcast is littered with amazing soundbites and ahas !
I almost cried at the end of this episode!! The whole interview was so authentic and engaging. Thank you Dr. K for your being and Steven for your vulnerability and for making this happen for us!! ❤
Brilliant! My husband and I absolutely loved this. It deeply resonated with me, offering a sense of peace, validation, and healing. As always, great questions, Steve. Dr. K is incredibly humble, insightful, and genuinely helpful. THANK YOU!!!🙏🙌👏❤
Men (and women) need to see mental well being as both an asset and a responsibility. Our culture and society teach us to be dysfunctional and to rely on systems and institutions that are broken and not supportive. We need to see the "game" we are trying to win in life is fundamentally flawed and in the end, will not make us happy. In the end, its up to us to define ourselves on our own terms. That is true freedom.
Finally a psychiatrist that feels another persons feelings ONLINE. I've talked about me feeling emotions that aren't mine, I can pick up on that of others and feel it for them. Just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it's not there.
Empathy is a real thing. Not sure if anyone disputes that empathy exists. Lt. Dianna Troy on Star Trek was someone I could identify with as a younger person. What an empath is like after some training... Everyone is influenced by the feelings of others, pheromones can spread throughout a large room in less than a second. As soon as someone walks into the restaurant, the mood of the whole place changes... to some degree. Most people have no clue where all their emotions come from and why they feel like they feel, often assuming simplistic pop culture reasons for their feelings... Watch anyone arguing and you can see how it can be all about escalating feelings and not really about the subject matter. This cannot happen if each person only feels their own feelings, it is the spiraling out of control due to feeling each other's feelings that causes things to escalate... You do not like what I said (maybe due to a trigger), your feelings of me doing something wrong feels like an insult to me since I did not mean any harm, so I feel like explaining or fighting back and then that bad feeling in me that makes me explain escalates the bad feeling in the other person as if I did something wrong again, and so on...
This might be the best interview I've heard so far. I thought I wasn't gonna make it through the whole thing, cuz it's so long. But it's been mindblowing.
Yeah I worked in a customer service job and quickly found out that the few trouble customers were far more popular than the huge mass of lovely folk we saw.
Going to state my biases up front (in no particular order): 1. I'm a longtime DOAC fan, and my family, girlfriend, friends, and some coworkers have heard the words "The Diary of a CEO" exit my mouth, on more than one occasion. 2. I've been a fan of Dr. K for an about the same amount of time as I have DOAC. 3. My enthusiasm for both has increased steadily. 4. I see DOAC and Dr K, and it's an automatic watch / listen. Ok, so with my biases out of the way, I'm about 2/3 of the way through this episode and SO many things have resonated with me personally, and for those I care about. My opinion, but this has to be the best episode in the history of DOAC. I think I'm going to have to go back and watch this entire episode a few more times to really absorb all this amazing information (ironically, based on what Dr. K touched on about there being SO much information on the internet about everything). A lot to learn here, and a lot to unpack. I think of my girlfriend, who just got a diagnosis of polycythemia vera, and has just had quite the rough year. I've found so many amazing podcasts, took notes, and made bullet points to simplify the key points for her because she does not share my ability to stay focused on long-form podcasts. I'd send her timestamped YT links and suggest that she just listens for 10 minutes (she can listen to long-form, where I prefer to watch and listen). I'd send her word and excel docs I made with all these key points, only to be met with little to no matched enthusiasm. Long story short, I have been trying to help in a way I felt would be most helpful, by providing lots of new and interesting information, only to have a recent revelation that NONE of the information I curate for her will be helpful if she is not in the space to receive it. So I've changed my approach. This is for her past traumas from two douchebag ex-partners of hers, for her weight loss, for her health, for managing stress, for processing emotions, and so on and so forth. And I made this pivot to a different approach on that internal realization that I need to provide support and reassurance. She needs a solid partner, not a real life ChatGPT 😅 I know my intentions are good, but it's like, "Hey Babe, I learned about all this cool shit you didn't know you needed to know and here it is." And I was lucky enough to realize that despite all that info being helpful at some point, it's not helpful to her right now. This won't stop me from voraciously consuming long-form podcasts and learning for my interests, but I realize that the best thing I can do is to be unwavering in my support for her, as I'd want the same in a partner. This wasn't supposed to be a long post...😂 Thank you DOAC and Dr. K (and the DOAC crew).
@superbri007: You are a very good person who is just trying to be helpful. I have the same problem wanting to convey great information I find, but sometimes I have to just be still and be present for the person. You obviously have that insight into yourself. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you and God bless both of you and prayers for your peace of mind and her health.
Be proud of the fact that you are such a wonderful boyfriend. And I second you on the facts that I am going to listen to this a few times just to have the whole episode in my mind and this is the best episode ever of DOAC.
Brilliant! I will listen to this multiple times. Paraohrasing Stephen, sometimes we need to have things repeated to us. In part, it may be that we don’t like the answer, but also because without having an enlightened mind, we struggle to hear it clearly. Dr. K, your clear, knowledge based message is deeply appreciated. Stephen, your honesty about who you are enabled all if us to benefit from Dr. K's responses in real time.
I was listening to everything here, but I really want to point out how right he is about Steven’s authenticity and the fact that we can feel it (and are drawn in by it). This is truth.
Dr.K has a bunch of adhd videos, even a "adhd in women" specific one came out the other week in september. He also has a whole ADHD module on his website. I haven't done the module, though.
I think this is the most interesting and compelling interview I’ve enjoyed and learned the most out of. I’ve been asking myself everyday, what do I need to know to feel unstuck in life at 72 yrs old? Thank you Steven, you are truly authentic and so was your guest. Bravo! ❤️
Holy Shit, Stephen this is one of the best guests you had this year! This guy is motivating and...so unorthodox. There's some way about the way he explains things that makes it easy to understand .Its *just the way you described it* He is confronting and I too, enjoy that style of...talk. When I am confronted and I am challenged but respectfully by someone perhaps playing devils'a advocate let's say, that sort of thing. I really enjoyed this. I can't wait til you hit 10K. Personally, I post these podcasts on my social media & I *know* these are smart people I got looking at my stuff. I hope they are subscribing. *I'm looking at you reader*
Totally agree. Dr. Alok has this confrontational style that is "in your face". In todays world, there is too much "tip-toeing" and "sugar-coating" around the real issues. It hit me really hard when Dr. Alok talked about the concept of "stillness/awareness" and "just be". Learn to "respond" as opposed to "react" with emotions.
Thank you for this, it was so profoundly illuminating! I've been working on trauma recovery for about 25 years and I've never heard it said in such a way, I will watch this one again.
Keeping a diary absolutely helps to slow down your thinking and spikes your awareness. Take it from someone who's written a diary entry every single morning since 2017! (oh, and I wouldn't trade this practice for anything else to truly understand myself)
Couldn't agree with you more. Picked up keeping morning pages from Julia Cameron the artist way 30 years ago. They do themselves now and on the very rate occasions I miss them I can see the difference in the day. Somehow they facilitate flow. Great comment ty
It's become a compulsive daily routine for me since my breakdown 10 months ago, but didn't become automatic until 8 months ago, and it has changed my life. Still have a long way to go, and I'm still struggling, but it allows me a third person perspective, so to speak, of my own mind and can see patterns and issues that would have escaped my attention--did escape my attention for years. Definitely encourage everyone to do it, even those not dealing with mental health issues.
@@portraitofman2063would you say it’s better to do it at the end or start of the day? or is it one of those things where you shouldnt over think it and do it whenever possible
Steven, Dr K hit the nail on the head for me as a person. I needed to get out of my work and living environment when I lived in Cape Town South Africa. I left South Africa and moved to Tbilisi Georgia to find myself again and just be. I am at a point of starting to do a podcast about my Life Coaching business (thanks to my business coach), I have moved away from the anxiety of why nobody wants to change (that is their choice) - really have moved away from my face book business page (still there). Find inner peace was so essential for me and accept me for myself - this journey has been amazing. I now can face going back to South Africa with an inner happiness and give back to others with joy. Thank you for such inciteful podcasts, I really enjoy them.
Dude, thank you so much! For me, this was probably the most profound episode so far🙏 I really love that he got so much knowledge that he can highlight a plethora of stupid things that we're doing wrong with facts and point out that isn't just one thing, and not just one cause and effect. I find the majority of people to have tunnel vision and oftentimes very defensive and try to downplay the impact of behaviors just because it's the norm. Sure! One could pretend that it's non-issues. but if you open your eyes and try to see things from as many perspectives as possible, then you quickly connect points and reveal the massive spiderweb of dysfunctional behaviors layered over almost every aspect of our lives and how insane we are becoming. The scary part is the compounded effect and how, instead of stepping on the brakes, just keep accelerating the problem.
I plan to listen to the second time as well. Dr. Alok offered so much insight into what "drives" our behaviour. I like his "no bullshit" confrontational approach. Our society has gone so far to bubble and sugar-coat the real issues, and most times, "reality" is hard to face.
Dr. K is one of my favorite people to listen to, and I've become a huge fan of DOAC in the past month. To hit an episode with both of you is a real treat!
I’ve got a favour to ask! If you enjoy this, please double check that you’ve liked the video and subscribed to the channel! Thats a small way you can help us carry on doing this ❤️🙏🏾 really appreciate you!
1. Dr. K
2. Simon Sinek
3. Chris Palmer
4. Andrew Huberman
1. Simon Sinek
2. Mo Gawdat
3. Jordan Peterson
4. Alain de Botton
These are my favourites 😆
1. Dr. K
2. Dr. Mike
3. Andrew huberman
4. Robert Greene
@@Bani.vibes.gets my vote 👍
1. Andrew Huberman
2. Jordan Peterson
3. Simon Sinek
4. Dr. K
👍🏼😉
Had a blast, Steven. Great to be back and get a little deeper!
Such a great episode Dr. K Great to see you over here. Now back to your channel to watch your videos. I believe every teenager would benefit immensely from your channel and videos.
From Tectone to Asmongold to Diary of a CEO. So glad there's more people aware of you Dr K 👍🏻
Wow, what a noob ...
You are an incredible energy, Dr K! Time is the ultimate luxury and spending it listening to you always seems like the best investment. Your wit and sensitivity are so perfectly merged that when I experience your podcasts or interviews it's like I'm in a presence of a higher being guiding me to a state of awareness I have never achieved before - while backing it all with scientific data which I especially appreciate. Kudos to you and Steven for giving us these mind-nourishing meetings
Thank you Dr. K.❤❤
“Confidence comes from surviving failure”. That was a gem.
No wonder I'm so confident I've had so much failure!!!
this one hits like a truck
This insight is absolutely true.
As an undergraduate student I had one last exam which I needed to pass with flying colours in order to enter the graduate program I had already been accepted to, which depended upon this one last exam. I was a nervous wreck. My wise father said, " Think of all the hurdles you have already overcome. Watch the movie "National Velvet. "
Of course I did watch the movie; I did well on the exam, all because of the perspective my father gave me to look back at the obstacles and how they too were overcome.
Truly, I appreciate you saying aloud with conviction, that we learn best not from words, but from our own failures, as we strive for solutions.
Failure = wasted effort
@@RobertLofty not if you learn from it
This is literally one of the absolute life-changing conversations on any podcast that I’ve ever heard. You have no idea how profound this was for me..
Check out his other stuff! He has so many great videos. They help me a lot when I'm in between therapy for a month or two.
@BrofUJu any personal recommendation, mate?
@@ReyDChapa honestly depends on what you're looking for! His Friday deep dives into specific topics are so good. I really love his views on things like PTSD and trauma, and how our brains and bodies learn and adapt around trauma.
I can't believe that I skipped hearing this guy for so long in my recommendations
This is just incredible!
@BrofUJu perfect!! Thanks for the advice, man
Most profound and genuine conversation I've heard on UA-cam. Dr K is a gem and thank you for helping me discover him, Steven!
I think the most common reason people are unhappy is because they’re doing what is expected of them rather than listening to and fulfilling their own desires.
“Fulfilling their own desires” well that’s the problem no wonder the West has slowly been degrading for couple of centuries 😂
I know that’s the reason I’m unhappy 💙🌎
The reason they are unhappy is because they do not know their purpose in life and are not trying to walk in their purpose.
Happiness is always measured as the "gap" between expectations and reality.
My car broke down today and I was mostly confused but also annoyed and irritated. We broke down in the heat of the desert and as I rushed to get a rescue I watched my child and dog start to get really affected by the heat. When my relative was able to come get us I wasn't annoyed anymore I was just relieved and grateful. The tow truck ditched us, the rental car fell through once, everything went wrong but for the rest of the day I was GIDDY. I was so happy because my "expectation" level was set in the moment I watched my dog's eyes flutter closed from the heat.
When a whole generation's expectation level is set by porn and social media, the standard is unmeetable and the gap will be large. Obviously they are unhappy!
Which is also No1 regret of the dying from Bronnie Ware book
This man is such a gem.
His knowledge, his compassion, his honesty, his ability to be vulnerable and confident at the same time, truly an astonishing Person.
He is really good
He drove reckfull to suicide tho
reminds me of a less wise steven siegal
Stephen or dr k?
@@faizanhassan4406 stephen has the personality of a wet noodle.
He said: “A traumatic upbringing = children can’t plan for the future”. And this is why I am stuck. Just a child getting older. It’s time that I free myself. I needed to hear that.
Hello, random internet stranger here; when someone actually (finally) diagnosed me with cptsd, we started emdr therapy and it changed my life for the better.
Before this, I knew I was 'different' but wasn't sure why. Getting the treatment to manage the root cause is the best thing I can advise.
Good luck - you've got this.
What an epiphany
@@martinjohnson2381 Remember that not all therapies work for everyone, some can even be harmful. If that is the case it is important to stop the therapy immediately. Like mindfullness therapy and meditation. Sounds harmless but can make dissociation worse. It's fantastic that you found something that worked for you.
Look up Pete Walker, Bessel van der Kolk, and Heller and LaPierre (Book: Developmenatal Trauma). Take the pieces that work for for you. Their books helped me more than therapy.
Fair point, one size doesn't fit all; really the jist of my point is find a good professional and explore the options with them.
I was just sharing my experience and that this therapy worked wonders for me.
Wow, thanks so much! this Dr K is the perfect mixture between science, yoga, wisdom, vital experience and empathy.... every minute is pure gold!
Dr K is the GOAT, his videos have been a game-changer for my life. 😄
I don't what it means when an Anarchist's game has changed...
God Of American Teenagers?
This guy is making a mockery of psychiatry.
@@wyattoutlaw2370 how?
I see what you did there👁️👄👁️
I felt so seen and called out with this episode, literally the best podcast I've seen this year. It really helped me understand how every success increased my imposter syndrome rather than building confidence.
Elaborate G
@@cinemaximum5654 There's a lot I could elaborate on, but I assume you mean the imposter syndrome bit. The TLDR version is, I've been running from failure my whole life.
I had a rough childhood but after therapy I managed to go from a high school drop out to a working professional with a degree in a STEM field. I never felt secure in my accomplishments though, I've always felt like I was one mistake away from it all falling apart.
Everything I ever attempted that I thought I might fail at, I just gave up right away. I had an attitude of if I'm not really trying I'm not failing, and if I put in the effort it would be a waste of time. The only 'failures' I've experienced were some bad dates or job interviews because I've avoided everything else that was too hard.
@@cinemaximum5654 I haven't watched it yet but I would assume it's because pride doesn't increase confidence. it just puts a band-aid on insecurity, but it doesn't remedy the real issues.
Lowkey more than half of comments in any big yotuber seems like bots @@cinemaximum5654
I loved where towards the end he was talking about internal constraints, look up Peter Crone's work which describes it so well!
Needing negative energy to change makes so much sense. It explains why hitting rock bottom motivates people to change. When someone keeps being rescued from the consequences of their choices then there is no reason to change their behavior! 💡
Very well put. People need to motivate themselves to "make the change". ~ "When someone keeps being rescued from the consequences of their choices then there is no reason to change their behavior!"
Wonderful wonderful
good diagnoses precedes good treatment.
O my goodness!!! "No matter what you do that kid will keep coming out" this is bang on ....just had a breakthrough... man!!! This is the best podcast i am ever seeing...now i can see why i always see im at fault....as a 3 year old i was punished and felt the emotion of humiliation for the first time....tho that scene keeps coming back to me but i never realized that how much it has been affecting me all my life...i still operate from that place...im 50 now and it is still with me ....
Any women watching this?
Yesss
of course
Yes and it too engaging can’t pause it have to finish it ❤
What did yall think?
Watching this as a new mom with a newborn boy. I hope with all my heart that i do right by him, despite my chaotic upbringing
this episode was the single most life changing piece of content I have ever watched
Have you changed your life😂
@@michaelxu7026YEA HE REALIZED HUMANS ARE HOPELESS AND JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE😂
stop exaggerating, you sound like a drama queen
This is 100% correct. Detaching from the outcome and just being, is the only thing that will bring you peace.
If you havr agency in yout life you are aitomatucalky aytavhef ti tge outcome,
I have detached from being straight, and am now gay
@@leanne123I'm fucking gay dude
Says Gita the Hindu spiritual book
Honestly best episode in any podcast ever
Best DOAC ever, in fact the best experience i have had with any format of learning in my 46 years on this planet. All for free in the comfort of my home. Thank you Dr Alok and well done Steven, well done!.
Amen 🙏🏽
Agree 💫
Trauma Healing = Self awareness + being present. This is a lot of work and reflection. I only started my self-awareness journey 6 years ago and the amount of things that I needed to unpack is incredible. Some harsh truths that slapped me across the face then got me to sit with myself to figure shit out. I then told my wife that as parents the only thing we need to make sure that the kids are aware of is themselves. We then have opened the path to lead them to all the opportunities that they want to pursue based on who they are. Stephen you’re the man! Dr K, simply brilliant! Thank you again for taking the time to teach us.
👏 🎉
can you go into a bit more depth on what actions you took to practice self-awareness and being present?
@@Cobalt_11 Becoming self aware for me was being aware of my feelings which involves asking where they come from and why I feel them. I try and reflect daily, considering what I accomplished and what I could improve, both personally and professionally. I focus on being present by paying attention, letting others finish speaking and truly listening.This is challenging because managing my attention span can be difficult. While this approach may vary for each person, I find that activities like exercising, dancing and fasting help me stay alert and present. I also make a conscious effort not to get lost in work, as I run a small business and I try not to get caught working in the business. Hence stepping back to take in the moment and when needed, to reflect.
congratulations, but you can't just teach your child to be self-aware and claim your duty as a parent done. They're extremely impressionable and can't handle things like adults can. They need to be taught how to GROW. How to bloom. You can know all about your troubles and everyone else's troubles or what excites you but still be stuck in the dirt because of how you've been raised. As an addict, I know this to be facts. I was a self aware child but never brought my greatest problems to my parents because I was horrified that I would hurt them, even as they hurt me in ways they couldn't understand without me telling them. This extrapolates to all the scary things about childhood. You need to teach your children to confront problems, or they'll just pretend they don't exist, or maladapt in another way. You know, all that screen time makes it extremely easy for kids to become highly fragile.
If all you teach is awareness, your child will be so, so aware of how overwhelming the world is. How are they to live in it? That's my point. Teach them how. Don't just support, guide. Raise. Have a good one.
I've never once commented on one of your videos, but I feel compelled to state how important this one was. This may be my favourite podcast I've watched, and what a blessing that I just so happened to ask my mother to watch it with me.
Ooooh I loved this one! He is right Steven, keep doing what you're doing and don't ponder on better.
As a 52 year old woman who grew up as a child with absentee parents , I felt hex was speaking to me when he said that your brain becomes patterned to thinking about survival, not about how to succeed or plan your future.
1:36:52 I automatically cried at this part. I'm a kid who grew up believing that I HAD TO do it all MYSELF, I CAN'T depend on others. I didn't understand at first when Dr.K said, "It's kinda sad, bro," until he explained the example of a kid who can depend on his family.
Even nowadays the trauma still gets me when I see similar conversations/situations. Even though I can depend on myself already. It still hurts knowing that my life since I was born is some sort of debt I need to pay back with one of my parents.
But in another positive way, I also want my future kids (If it's possible) to feel like they're lucky to have me as a dad.
i resonate with this and i hear you. in my healing work, i've found most everything comes back to a grief for something we didn't receive.
"It is not about finding the right answers, it is about asking the right questions" That was a gem too!
Straight from a classic book
this is probably the single most important and useful podcast i've seen. People forget that humans are animals, and we have moved into a world we were never meant to live in. That js the #1 cause for most issues in our so society
I totally feel this! I have a really crazy shroom experience where I uncovered a LOT of repressed thoughts and feelings around being an animal. I really struggled with what that could mean about who I am and what I need from that animals perspective. But I also struggled from a "civilized" perspective because at the same time the animal nature repulsed me. Deep Stuff! I am glad people are mentioned this like you did just now
@@karakim9213 Yes! I always try to put myself in the position of 'if I was living primitively as humans used to, what would i do?'. That alone helped me come out of the back and forth conflict in my mind whether it be with social issues, dietary, mental health, etc. It is definitely difficult to apply it to social situations as many people will not understand and label you a crazy hippie conspiracy theorist nut... or at least i have been called that.
I constantly remind people that we’re animals! That’s why people do a lot of the horrible things in the society that don’t make sense! Sorry to say, but especially men have more of an animal instinct that women!
@@bcbro142 I wouldn't say males have more animalistic instincts because we are all animals no matter the sex. If you are referring to horrible things such as violent crimes I'd think it would probably relate more to testosterone in males.
Check out the book the Sane Society by Erich Fromm
Thank you SO MUCH for having another interview/conversation with Dr. K this year. Both of you are so thoughtful and self-reflective, I really appreciate your work. And as a white female therapist, I greatly appreciate Dr. K's work on advocating for the needs of men.
This interview could have continued another 2-4 hours and I wouldn't have moved. Thank you so much Dr. K and Steven. I will come back to this
I’m listening from my bed while I work from home 🏠
This is literally your best podcast for self development. Everybody on this planet should hear this.
Alok is unironically one of the most important persons in modern internet. Dude is a genius.
He is successfully un-blackpilling the internet, one video at a time
not only is he a smart and learned, but I'd say that he is positionned at a nodal point of a lot of issues that society runs through currently and is wanting to change !
- gaming addiction - social media affecting our relationships and sense of self - gender issues (mostly the men identity crisis) - mental health awareness - limitations of therapy - the paroxysm of capitalism and its consequences on materiality and spirituality (meaning at the same time that we're the richest we've aver been, but also won't have a perspective of getting much higher)
@@blopartDGRIwell said 😊
Almost 3 hours selling his obscurantist crap.
@@ernestoberger7589
You most definitely didn’t watch the video.
This guy is genius in his field, I give it to him for putting in the many years of research and study to get to this point, his understanding of the human minds function and how it all physically affects us is out of this world magnificent. That part about purpose being an attitude, not a thing pure gold! Give him his flowers👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾huts off Dr. K🙌🏾♥️
The depth increased exponentially as the video progressed, god damn. Truly such a valuable podcast!
It's also so freakin cool how it become a bit like a psychiatry session for Steven. Such a unique format for a podcast ✨
Thanks. The best episode ever!
Your authenticity, humility, curiosity, pleasant voice and cheeky giggle are what have made your podcast so successful. Ranked in order from most to least important.
Thanks for this convo! The super-short version of what is happening with the tapping mentioned is that those acupressure points have nerve concentrations that send a calming signal to the limbic system and nervous system when stimulated.
Recent studies show the points themselves really matter when compared with placebo sham-points or no tapping, more than you might expect. So when you think and speak about something that has a stress response, including painful memories, but communicate safety to the body through the physical touch, the association between the event and emotion can be disconnected.
Lots of tapping rounds on my channel if you don't mind the shameless plug, but with trauma it is best to work with a practitioner you trust :)
Not sure why you would give money to a multimilionaire, gift it to a homeless person somewhere, Steven would be happier with that.
I sobbed for at least an hour thanks to this podcast episode. Dr. K touched on so many topics that have affected me my whole life and that I hadn't gotten full clarity on until now. The main things that have been plaguing me in the last few months/years have all been addressed. It was an eye opening experience. thank you.
Shut up. I am gay.
Which part of parts impacted you to the point of crying? I am genuinely curious. Also, I am gay.
I lost my wife a few months ago to cancer. I love your podcasts they have really helped me understand myself as a business owner, a husband and a father. I wish this one came out years ago. It would have really helped me find peace in my life instead of focusing on providing at the cost of quality time.
These days I’ve been leaving my phone behind, and go on long drives while listening to 80s music and synth wave. Very good for mental health. Encourage all men to give it a try.
Try walking
I'm a try that
It sounds like we should pretend it's the 80s and think of the 90s that are still ahead of us. Sounds 👍.
📼 ⏩ 💿
i personnaly limit all notifications. just messages and calls and i go on do not disturb at 9 or 10pm. and i dont text ppl. we see eachother are call. text are no longer then 10min and usually just to give information and set up a call or to see someone.
Amen! Nothing like jamming to The Midnight or The Motion Epic and taking a drive.
WOW this was probably the best episode I’ve ever seen and listened to in my life! Dr. K was so good at explaining everything in a way that was so high level to understand. Thank you so much !
I love how Dr K makes me laugh, smile, shout out yes and take me away into my own world of thoughts. This is an incredible episode. Love it! Thank you!!
Just finished the last while watching out the window for idk 15 or more minutes, turn right and see your comment, Heh
This idea that talking about the problem and venting online keeping you stuck, is mind blowing, and I immediately knew it was true. I can actually use this to improve my life. Thank you
Yeah I look around on social media and see people venting endlessly. Same topics and talking points over and over. That is just digging them a deeper hole to climb out of
@@brianmeen2158The answer seems that one needs to get to ‘the NEUTRAL STATE OF MIND’. That state of mind is a GOALESS moment were you plan nothing but do small useful things , most of them beneficial to others. Sounds simple but not easy 😊
Is what he talks about with the oestrogen levels the same with testosterone levels for men? At 13:14
@@marco7838estrogen is not testosterone, the clue is they have different names
@@marco7838no high average testosterone in men is linked with success backed by studies cuz it increases competitiveness confidence but impulsive aggressive. Some similarities but completely different
Woah. At 1h 30m, the part about trauma weakening your ability to plan for the future. That really clicked for me
Yes! This part was what impacted me the most
Yep that’s definitely me.
Its like trauma weakens your ability to feel positive emotions, so when planning for the future you have no positive emotions to guide you or pull you towards and future you want. Because negative emotions will only push you away from current situations but won't help you move towards anything.
Is what he talks about with the oestrogen levels the same with testosterone levels for men? At 13:14
@@IdeeFixeGamerthis is very significant. Trauma weakens your ability to feel positive emotions. Repeatedly trauma makes it worse and worse:
At this point I cannot sustain positive emotions. It isn’t I don’t want to. I cannot feel them.
We need to acknowledge as a society that saying heal yourself to a highly traumatized person may not help, because they literally may not know how.
My theory is that trauma breaks the part of your brain thinking life can ever be fair. We want to believe we get what we give, at least sometimes. If what we get is not related in any way to our effort or inherent worth, how can you have any hope for the future.
Imagine you had a physically abusive spouse after being molested as a child. Now you are considering trying to date again. I will likely have learned that others can and will harm me, and I end up getting blamed for their behavior (you chose them) rather than them even though nothing in your life set you up to understand people’s good or bad intentions. Going into the future, you can easily imagine bad outcomes, but good ones are obviously questionable so you avoid the pain you know.
This is the most insightful and revealing interview lately. Just wow.... Thank you thank you thank you
Fabulous interview, thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story, and one of my favourite quotes from Dr. k was, “it doesn’t matter how much you build, the traumas still there”, or something like that, and “your sense of identity” what a wonderfully passionate guy…nothing, in my experience and thank god, in all that the world keeps showing us, is trauma, doesn’t go away….Ive spent over 30 years working on healing trauma… I think it’s a process. This Dr. just so good…❤ huge props to you both
After hearing all of this, I genuinely feel 10x happier.
Just because of awareness.
Thanks!
This was the one that made me follow. This was remarkably relatable. It's more of a conversation of..."I've seen that, I've been there....I understand" ... relatable to deep feelings of being who we are. This will be on repeat as I feel depending on what I'm going through different parts will stand out to me.
This was awesome. One of the best guests in my opinion. It would be so interesting to have 2 hrs one on one with Dr. K.
“A trap is only a trap if you don't know about it. If you know about it, it's a challenge.”
― China Miéville, King Rat
Not true if you do not have the ability to extricate yourself from the trap. Then that's just another hell.
Quit justifying cutting social programs scatting on vulnerable people
I really resonated with this quote! Thanks for posting. Very thought-provoking!
The first step to avoiding a trap is knowing there is one - Duke Leto Atreides
I rarely leave a comment, but this was one of the best podcasts I've listened to. I didn't want it to end! I know for sure I'll be coming back to this again. Thanks so much, Steven, for your authenticity and vulnerability. You being you is what makes these podcasts and conversations so valuable, and I'm utterly grateful for that! 🙏♥️
Two and a half hour podcast seemed like ten minutes , what a wonderfully man with truly fascinating subjects
Wow! One of the most powerful interviews, Dr.K is one of those gems you’ll like to have as a therapist , so much knowledge and so honest, i’ll play this again and again.
I love that Dr K blends in ancient Hindu/Yogic philosophy with allopathy. It’s brilliant!
Well done, gentlemen. This conversation addresses many topics we all are experiencing, with both curiosity and insights.
I think social media is destroying more relationships than anything. Ive seen it lived it and survived it. This podcast was absolutely amazing and completely spot on about relationships and the many issues we face in them. I actually meditate now and when i speak to people I don't project any negativity because venting about your problems doesn't really help and can actually create more problems. If your happy and social than it will definitely follow you in life.
Social media is for sure ruining relationships. Some people believe all the negative info that’s posted. The biggest problem is the “no contact” with people who love them, because of one flaw, they go on social media, claims that person is toxic and they just disappear from that persons life, leaving the discarded person with major emotional issues…..it’s all about the “me” on social media, no one is teaching forgiveness, communication, compromise, just negative behaviours.
The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Bots
I love that he’s speaking as if he just discovered this and emotionally tells it to a friend.
Wow good way of putting
This is probably the greatest, if not the greatest episode I’ve heard and learned on a podcast….EVER!
Wow, I may have finally discovered the therapist I’ve been looking for lol. Every word shared on this show was sublime force at work.
Just excellent & thank you! 💯
"Just Be." As a full time yoga therapist and yoga teacher in NYC, this was most certainly a podcast on the practice of yoga, especially after the first hour. What an incredible conversation filled with invaluable gems. Thank you, Dr.Kanojia for sharing your wisdom. Steven, much respect and gratitude for being vulnerable and for allowing yourself to be the subject of some of the topics discussed in this podcast and in so many of your other episodes. We learn from what you're learning - grateful!
This was truly one of the best podcasts in the last 10 years! Incredible
The piss in the glass really nailed it.... I mean pissed it. :D :D
Dr K I love you. I appreciate everything that you do for your community. As a woman , I’ve learned so many things about self improvement, my adhd and more from you. Thank you for all you do ❤❤❤
@@elizabethgarrott6942 lol OK.. my profile photo is Childish Gambino (aka Donald Glover) u uncultured Elizabeth Garrott.
When Dr K starts rocking back and forth in his chair you know he's getting ready to do some serious therapying! And that smile from Steven was amusement but it was seasoned with '' holy s*** He's smarter than me...AND he actually sees me.'' first time I've ever heard Steven (sp) engage in word salading. 😮
More often he's wiggling from side to side :)
He really believes people can get better.
This man spits fire after fire after fire. Great stuff.
Oh, finally! This guy is smart, listen to him no matter who you are.
Edit: I am at 46 minutes of watching now and thinking this really might be one of the most important videos on UA-cam history! I really really hope people all over the world listen to this. I hope especially all men listen to this. I hope you share this to your friends, share this in your social media and save it to your playlists for your followers to find. This is really important.
he's a scammer
@@rimiserk8277 Saying something like this, you better appear with some heavy rock hard evidence, until then your opinion has zero value.
@rimiserk8277 Nah he based
@@cj1355 thats funny
@@rimiserk8277Dr K holds a mirror and asks us to look at our self, he gives it all for free. Why do you see a scam when al he gives is a mirror?
This has been my favourite episode EVER. Clinical EFT Tapping absolutely transformed my life, Dr K is on the money! Retraining the subconscious sense of identity and self-worth using neuroplasticity, is absolutely KEY to permanent change!
This was probably one of the most profound podcasts you have done. The ending of "you are enough" was like an alarm bell. This podcast is littered with amazing soundbites and ahas !
Is what he talks about with the oestrogen levels the same with testosterone levels for men? At 13:14
I almost cried at the end of this episode!! The whole interview was so authentic and engaging. Thank you Dr. K for your being and Steven for your vulnerability and for making this happen for us!! ❤
This felt like reading your diary, Steven. Thank you for sharing your curiosity and vulnerability.
Doctor k has got to be in the 4 people conversation, and every other conversation
Yes!
YES
YES
totally agree, he´s amazing!
and the divorce lawyer guy.....
Brilliant! My husband and I absolutely loved this. It deeply resonated with me, offering a sense of peace, validation, and healing. As always, great questions, Steve. Dr. K is incredibly humble, insightful, and genuinely helpful. THANK YOU!!!🙏🙌👏❤
Dr.K is a beautiful human being ❤
Men (and women) need to see mental well being as both an asset and a responsibility. Our culture and society teach us to be dysfunctional and to rely on systems and institutions that are broken and not supportive. We need to see the "game" we are trying to win in life is fundamentally flawed and in the end, will not make us happy. In the end, its up to us to define ourselves on our own terms. That is true freedom.
I totally agree with you. 😊❤🙏✊
Finally a psychiatrist that feels another persons feelings ONLINE. I've talked about me feeling emotions that aren't mine, I can pick up on that of others and feel it for them.
Just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it's not there.
Empathy is a real thing. Not sure if anyone disputes that empathy exists. Lt. Dianna Troy on Star Trek was someone I could identify with as a younger person. What an empath is like after some training... Everyone is influenced by the feelings of others, pheromones can spread throughout a large room in less than a second. As soon as someone walks into the restaurant, the mood of the whole place changes... to some degree. Most people have no clue where all their emotions come from and why they feel like they feel, often assuming simplistic pop culture reasons for their feelings... Watch anyone arguing and you can see how it can be all about escalating feelings and not really about the subject matter. This cannot happen if each person only feels their own feelings, it is the spiraling out of control due to feeling each other's feelings that causes things to escalate... You do not like what I said (maybe due to a trigger), your feelings of me doing something wrong feels like an insult to me since I did not mean any harm, so I feel like explaining or fighting back and then that bad feeling in me that makes me explain escalates the bad feeling in the other person as if I did something wrong again, and so on...
It’s called empathy - rare nowadays here
This might be the best interview I've heard so far. I thought I wasn't gonna make it through the whole thing, cuz it's so long. But it's been mindblowing.
The second half of this was truly profound, even after having seen a lot of Dr K's stuff. Great content!
Every podcast episode he guests is a banger. Excellent communicator and never talks nonsense
That thing about negative emotions explains why people focus one "bad comment" despite receiving a plethora of "good comments".
I find your comment to be very problematic
Yeah I worked in a customer service job and quickly found out that the few trouble customers were far more popular than the huge mass of lovely folk we saw.
Sensitive.
Going to state my biases up front (in no particular order):
1. I'm a longtime DOAC fan, and my family, girlfriend, friends, and some coworkers have heard the words "The Diary of a CEO" exit my mouth, on more than one occasion.
2. I've been a fan of Dr. K for an about the same amount of time as I have DOAC.
3. My enthusiasm for both has increased steadily.
4. I see DOAC and Dr K, and it's an automatic watch / listen.
Ok, so with my biases out of the way, I'm about 2/3 of the way through this episode and SO many things have resonated with me personally, and for those I care about.
My opinion, but this has to be the best episode in the history of DOAC.
I think I'm going to have to go back and watch this entire episode a few more times to really absorb all this amazing information (ironically, based on what Dr. K touched on about there being SO much information on the internet about everything).
A lot to learn here, and a lot to unpack. I think of my girlfriend, who just got a diagnosis of polycythemia vera, and has just had quite the rough year.
I've found so many amazing podcasts, took notes, and made bullet points to simplify the key points for her because she does not share my ability to stay focused on long-form podcasts.
I'd send her timestamped YT links and suggest that she just listens for 10 minutes (she can listen to long-form, where I prefer to watch and listen).
I'd send her word and excel docs I made with all these key points, only to be met with little to no matched enthusiasm.
Long story short, I have been trying to help in a way I felt would be most helpful, by providing lots of new and interesting information, only to have a recent revelation that NONE of the information I curate for her will be helpful if she is not in the space to receive it. So I've changed my approach. This is for her past traumas from two douchebag ex-partners of hers, for her weight loss, for her health, for managing stress, for processing emotions, and so on and so forth.
And I made this pivot to a different approach on that internal realization that I need to provide support and reassurance. She needs a solid partner, not a real life ChatGPT 😅
I know my intentions are good, but it's like, "Hey Babe, I learned about all this cool shit you didn't know you needed to know and here it is." And I was lucky enough to realize that despite all that info being helpful at some point, it's not helpful to her right now.
This won't stop me from voraciously consuming long-form podcasts and learning for my interests, but I realize that the best thing I can do is to be unwavering in my support for her, as I'd want the same in a partner.
This wasn't supposed to be a long post...😂
Thank you DOAC and Dr. K (and the DOAC crew).
I bet you would see better results if you did nothing except listen to her. Psychiatrist here.
This is so sweet 🥹
@superbri007: You are a very good person who is just trying to be helpful. I have the same problem wanting to convey great information I find, but sometimes I have to just be still and be present for the person. You obviously have that insight into yourself. Your girlfriend is lucky to have you and God bless both of you and prayers for your peace of mind and her health.
Be proud of the fact that you are such a wonderful boyfriend. And I second you on the facts that I am going to listen to this a few times just to have the whole episode in my mind and this is the best episode ever of DOAC.
Feel you, dude. Unfortunately I learned years ago never to try to give a woman an Excel sheet.
Brilliant! I will listen to this multiple times. Paraohrasing Stephen, sometimes we need to have things repeated to us. In part, it may be that we don’t like the answer, but also because without having an enlightened mind, we struggle to hear it clearly. Dr. K, your clear, knowledge based message is deeply appreciated. Stephen, your honesty about who you are enabled all if us to benefit from Dr. K's responses in real time.
This is one of the most versatile podcast I have ever watched about self improvements thank you
I LOVE how Dr K breaks down all this information with real world examples to really help us understand. Thank you 🤍
Love this. You are both brilliant! Thank you for the authenticity, for showing yourself vulnerable so that we can all relate to you!
I was listening to everything here, but I really want to point out how right he is about Steven’s authenticity and the fact that we can feel it (and are drawn in by it). This is truth.
I’d like some more Dr K please. This guy gots it going on 👍
best guest so far.
Steven, please have Dr. K back to discuss ADHD! That’s what is happening on so many levels/ ages/ generations…
🤣🤣😂😂😂
Dr.K has a bunch of adhd videos, even a "adhd in women" specific one came out the other week in september.
He also has a whole ADHD module on his website. I haven't done the module, though.
@@kefinnigan2 true, but Steven’s questions are always on point!
@@abdinasirhassan807 yes, but Steven’s questions are so on point and can reach so many more people in case they are not familiar with Dr. K...
a lot of people being diagnosed/self diagnosed with ADHD are often suffering from CPTSD...
This should be taught as a lesson to everyone. I have enlightened at an extreme level. Gratitude.
I think this is the most interesting and compelling interview I’ve enjoyed and learned the most out of. I’ve been asking myself everyday, what do I need to know to feel unstuck in life at 72 yrs old? Thank you Steven, you are truly authentic and so was your guest. Bravo! ❤️
Dr K is a legend, glad to see him!!
He’s not very smart if he uses made up fake religions and spirituality to justify his ideology.
Holy Shit, Stephen this is one of the best guests you had this year! This guy is motivating and...so unorthodox. There's some way about the way he explains things that makes it easy to understand .Its *just the way you described it* He is confronting and I too, enjoy that style of...talk. When I am confronted and I am challenged but respectfully by someone perhaps playing devils'a advocate let's say, that sort of thing. I really enjoyed this. I can't wait til you hit 10K. Personally, I post these podcasts on my social media & I *know* these are smart people I got looking at my stuff. I hope they are subscribing. *I'm looking at you reader*
Agreed. Well said.
Lol, dude is a scammer...
@@C4RYB34R unorthodox is one way to put it lol
@@rimiserk8277Where’s the proof for your ridiculous claims?
Totally agree. Dr. Alok has this confrontational style that is "in your face". In todays world, there is too much "tip-toeing" and "sugar-coating" around the real issues. It hit me really hard when Dr. Alok talked about the concept of "stillness/awareness" and "just be". Learn to "respond" as opposed to "react" with emotions.
this one of the best podcasts ever this year to me. thank you Dr.K, you're the GOAT
This has been one of the most interesting and mind opening podcasts I’ve ever listened too
Thank you for this, it was so profoundly illuminating! I've been working on trauma recovery for about 25 years and I've never heard it said in such a way, I will watch this one again.
Keeping a diary absolutely helps to slow down your thinking and spikes your awareness.
Take it from someone who's written a diary entry every single morning since 2017! (oh, and I wouldn't trade this practice for anything else to truly understand myself)
Couldn't agree with you more. Picked up keeping morning pages from Julia Cameron the artist way 30 years ago. They do themselves now and on the very rate occasions I miss them I can see the difference in the day. Somehow they facilitate flow. Great comment ty
It's become a compulsive daily routine for me since my breakdown 10 months ago, but didn't become automatic until 8 months ago, and it has changed my life. Still have a long way to go, and I'm still struggling, but it allows me a third person perspective, so to speak, of my own mind and can see patterns and issues that would have escaped my attention--did escape my attention for years.
Definitely encourage everyone to do it, even those not dealing with mental health issues.
@@portraitofman2063would you say it’s better to do it at the end or start of the day? or is it one of those things where you shouldnt over think it and do it whenever possible
Steven, Dr K hit the nail on the head for me as a person. I needed to get out of my work and living environment when I lived in Cape Town South Africa. I left South Africa and moved to Tbilisi Georgia to find myself again and just be. I am at a point of starting to do a podcast about my Life Coaching business (thanks to my business coach), I have moved away from the anxiety of why nobody wants to change (that is their choice) - really have moved away from my face book business page (still there). Find inner peace was so essential for me and accept me for myself - this journey has been amazing. I now can face going back to South Africa with an inner happiness and give back to others with joy. Thank you for such inciteful podcasts, I really enjoy them.
It’s probably one of the best podcasts I’ve ever heard in my life. Dr K is a huge bank of knowledge.
Dude, thank you so much! For me, this was probably the most profound episode so far🙏 I really love that he got so much knowledge that he can highlight a plethora of stupid things that we're doing wrong with facts and point out that isn't just one thing, and not just one cause and effect. I find the majority of people to have tunnel vision and oftentimes very defensive and try to downplay the impact of behaviors just because it's the norm. Sure! One could pretend that it's non-issues. but if you open your eyes and try to see things from as many perspectives as possible, then you quickly connect points and reveal the massive spiderweb of dysfunctional behaviors layered over almost every aspect of our lives and how insane we are becoming. The scary part is the compounded effect and how, instead of stepping on the brakes, just keep accelerating the problem.
Billions of thanks. Brilliant episode
Loved this. Especially for the vulnerabilities exposed. Two very brave men having raw conversations about real things. Priceless!!
Babe wake up!! Dr. K is back on the pod!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
Wow!
Knocked my socks off
This is my new favourite DOAC podcast.
Dr K is amazing 🤩
Just sad he’s married 😂
But happy for him
THANK YOU 🙏
Weird comment
Listening a second time to take notes. The first time was just OMG insights.
I plan to listen to the second time as well. Dr. Alok offered so much insight into what "drives" our behaviour.
I like his "no bullshit" confrontational approach. Our society has gone so far to bubble and sugar-coat the real issues, and most times, "reality" is hard to face.
Dr. K is one of my favorite people to listen to, and I've become a huge fan of DOAC in the past month. To hit an episode with both of you is a real treat!