interesting that BD lets her father off the hook for abandoning his own daughter out of some cowardice excuse, but the woman who raised and supported her, paid for her wedding, signed the paper for her to marry at 16, and continued to work to support the entire family is somehow the bad parent here. hmm.... so sad. this is such a sheltered, privileged human being with nothing else to give her purpose except victimizing and blaming
At least the father left her life completely and fully without becoming emotionally and mentally abusive. It's interesting to me that Barbara clearly explained the fallout with the mother, who tried on numerous occasions to break up the daughter's marriage and family, to the point where the daughter felt the need to permanently distance herself. It wouldn't surprise me if things came to a head, pushing the husband/son-in-law to ultimately say the mother was a deal breaker, and Barbara having to choose between the marriage and her mother. No one should ever be put in that position and if it comes to that, the person being told to choose should always pick their spouse. Shame on Bette for creating such turmoil in her daughter's life.
Every catty comment here needs to change their profile pick to one of themselves’ from the 80s before typing one word 😂 (provided you were even born… one day your kids will be laughing at you, think twice)
Every catty comment here needs to change their profile pick to one of themselves’ from the 80s before typing one word 😂 (provided you were even born… one day your kids will be laughing at you, think twice)
Every catty comment here needs to change their profile pick to one of themselves’ from the 80s before typing one word 😂 (provided you were even born… one day your kids will be laughing at you, think twice)
All of these comments remind me to be thankful for what a wonderful mom I had. She was so kind and loving to me and made me her priority in life. When I grew up and was on my own I made her my priority in life. I thank the Lord everyday for his kindness and choosing her for me.
It always seems like it is nonchristians who bring up wrong interpretations of the Lord's commands which is probably why they don't ever try to follow them themselves.
@@anti-ethniccleansing465 I thought I heard bd continued to try up to her death according to her; bd has an email she gives out on her youtube channel if you are curious or maybe you need to call her a hypocrite-bd to me has same personality as her mom & takes offense easily-i would blame bd's husband personally
I don't think that's a mullet. Her hair is just finger waved in the front and pinned back out of her face. She doesn't have the layers cut into the front.
The way she is describing her mother is how my mother is with me. I love Bette Davis. I dunno what happened to Bette and her daughter behind closed doors. Perhaps we will never know. But no matter what, I will always admire Bette's strength & confidence. She will always be a wonderful actress.
Bette Davis' brilliant response to her daughter Hyman in her own biography: "Dear Hyman, You constantly inform people that you wrote this book to help me understand you and your way of life better. Your goal was not reached. I am now utterly confused as to who you are or what your way of life is. Your book is a glaring lack of loyalty and thanks for the very privileged life I feel you have been given. If my memory serves me right, I've been your keeper all these many years. I am continuing to do so, as my name has made your book about me a success."
Helena HandBasket - excellent response by ms Davis!!! Nothing can destroy a relationship more than disloyalty, which bd accomplished, that’s all she did!!!! RIP ms Davis, we love you❤️❤️❤️❤️
What Bette refuses to understand is that BD didn't care if her book was a success or not (although I'm sure it's success is a rewarding feeling), she cared more about making her mother see herself in the book's mirror.
I have watched this interview many times and I don't feel Ms. Hyman is being disrespectful to her mother. I think she is being precise and analytical about their relationship, because it's important to her. Ms. Hyman's analogies are well thought out and intelligently spoken. It doesn't make me dislike Davis in anyway. In fact, it makes the situation more relatable in a human way.
***** The public has a BIG problem separating celebrities "on air" public image with concepts of them being any different in private. There's the image we show to the public and then there's the private us behind closed doors and they can be nothing a like. I don't find this disrespectful. I appreciate her honesty. She knew what she was doing at the time. I believe her when she says it hurt Davis to share. Nothing she said makes me dislike Davis or think ill will towards her, so it's not disrespectful.
This woman was trying to describe a narcissistic parent before people understood the phenomenon. And they attack the victim for being "mean". This is very typical and adds insult to injury to the victim. Thankfully, people have learned much about these type of people and the damage they inflict on their children and others. I respect BD very much after hearing this interview. She is brave and strong to be honest in the face of the blowback she was getting here, and elsewhere.
Yes, Alex. Shame on the show hosts for attacking her. That woman was narcissistic. I recognize it very well because my mother is just like her. These people who constantly cornered her, are not doing their job as they should. Their job is to facilitate not to take sides, which they clearly did. And that man to mention that "they" some Christian feel what BD did wasn't christian, should have lived with the narcissist themselves. What a shame for attacking her faith. She answered very well.
I think the most amazing thing about this interview...BD is STANDING her ground. She talks about the events very matter of factly. She is a very strong woman. I haven't seen the interview of Christina to gauge the complete impact of Joan's abuse towards her. I DO believe her "assessment" of Joan upon first meeting is spot on. She knew BD's influence would threaten everything she had created. Which is a tale of TWO narcissistic mothers. Joan may have been more overt while Betty was more covert. Let's not forget how these women feuded with each other...
Gabriela 111 My Mother has narcissistic rage too. I had to cut her and my father out of my life because she inflicted many hurts (and continued to do so) without any acknowledgement of this pain. This also included terrible things said and done to my children. She wants to seem like the most benevolent person- gracious and kind (toward people on the outside) but behind closed doors she is jealous, spiteful, and Is a truly miserable person.
Betty Davis was an accomplished actress. Good for her daughter to write this book as there are plenty of people out there who have a similar situation with a parent. I have seen this kind of thing before, and is very painful and difficult. Glad her daughter found happiness.
Hey there! I came across your comment and I just had to reach out and say hi. Your perspective really caught my attention and I would love to get to know you better. Would you be interested in chatting sometime? Looking forward to hearing back from you!
@@franklinstephen3268 Can I look at these chat boards just one day without seeing some tired, creaky line from some random tired, creaky, DOM looking for a hook-up? You know, there are legit dating sites where you may get lucky.
@@franklinstephen3268I’m here for here for a reason I had a sim situation but w my Nan. Made me feel so so bad …..but that’s over. Life goes on. See my other comment
My wife is the kindest person anybody on earth could ever imagine and puts most to shame because her kindness is so genuine but her mother is and was born evil and you would not believe they were related.My point is that Bette Davis,s daughter is the one that knows the score and has every right to express her true feelings because she was there.
I said that she expressed her feelings and her mother is dead so who are you to pass judgement without knowing the truth yourself.I am not remotely evil and you dont even know that do you?.
Thank you so much Curleyteeth. Every person has the right to their own story. I find it so sad that the audience is basically telling her to shut up. SO sad!
B.D. articulates her reasons in a very understandable way. Those who don’t understand simply don’t want to understand. I remember when the book was published and I remember various interviews such as this. I am a huge Betty Davis fan but, I believe everything B.D. says is true.
I agree & I do believe every word. The argument is just whether she should have written a book revealing it. There is an element of betrayal & exploitation. Im also not sure if writing it while she was alive was better than waiting until she was dead. That way it couldnt hurt her to read it.
Bette Davis wound rant on the daughter if she had any communication from the father so the father didnt want that to happen to the child so thats why he waited until the child was older to have a relationship with his daughter and it worked well.
He does what he knows is best for the child. That’s the sacrifice a good father/mother does for a child. PERIOD. And he/she can only pray that the power that be lets them live long enough to meet again under better circumstances.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. BD looks like her mother and has the same outspokenness, with the firm voice and opinions. That is probably why they didn't see eye to eye about a lot of things.
@@scotnick59 Bette even acknowledged and made clear that Barbara simply did not not like acting, it had nothing to do with her not being able to to. She didn't want to act, that's why Barbara married early and started a family. Her marriage lasted nearly 55 years, far, far, far longer than any of Bette Davis' marriages ever did. Despite all of Bette Davis' successful career, wealthy, notoriety, she was an incredibly mean, bitter, spiteful, angry woman who spent her final years in the care of an aide, because no one else wanted to contend with her. People knew about Bette Davis, Barbara Hyman simply stated what people who knew Bette Davis for over 50 plus years already knew but were afraid to say. Kudos to this courageous woman for coming forward during her mom's lifetime, when Bette could still answer for herself, not after Bette Davis' death.
You can own a car, you can own a beautiful house or a work of Art, but you can never own a person. From the very moment you think a person is a property, that relationship starts to decay.
@@acer4237 I disagree. She has every right to speak out about how she was treated by her mother. She also has genuine issues especially if Davis kept her from seeing her father and told her lies about him.
Yes I love B.D. Hyman and how she expresses herself. My mother was domieering and afraid one of my sisters would wright a book about her but it never happened after Joan Crawford's daughter did. B.D. Hyman is a very strong and wise Christian whom I admire and have a very good feeling about. Betty's daughter will tell you that Betty Davis was a witch and she had to deal with that. It was very stressful and her marriage remained strong.
She gives me a strong impression that she is a narcissist herself, but could never match her mother; thus, the tell all book (despite her mother’s dark hour of frailty and illness), the born again 😆, then cruelly cutting off her kids from grandma. And she doesn’t seem smart at all. Quite stupid. If my narc mother cut me from my granny, my life would be horrible. Only cruel and self righteous people do that.
That man/woman that asked the first question is awful. What a different era....I really like this B.D Hyman. The public are vitriolic & not understanding, she’s eloquent and I feel very very honest and fair. I have a Bette Davis type in my life....so I get it.
@@lovetolearn881 Well I’m just saying that there must have been a less aggressive way of doing it. Seems very hard on someone old and frail. I’m not suggesting that exempts anyone of all wrongs just that I wonder were all other avenues exhausted first.
It is well documented that Bette died without a huge estate and that the enormous amount of money she made she used to support her entire family. She made sure her mother never had to work another day in her life and saved B.D.'s house from foreclosure, etc. etc. Shame on you, B.D. for turning on her like you did.
Bette Davis was a great actress...but she was self centred, egotistical and extremely clever...it worked for her...extreme smoking and drinking were part of that era..however she definitely lacked empathy and boundaries! Not as broken as Joan Crawford and much more talented...they were extremely similar! Anything you resent and strongly react in another is also in you! B.D. Is allowed her own truth and she can voice it!!! Betty Davis might of been Hollywood Royalty BUT she's not a God...or infallible!
Whether you believe B.D. Hyman or not, or question her motives behind the book, there's no denying she comes across as a very intelligent woman. That said, I do give her credit for publishing the book before her mothers death. This at least gave Bette a chance to defend herself, which she did.
I sympathize with both B.D. and Christina. I, too watched the adoration of my mother by acquaintances, friends, relatives. At home I dealt with two parents who had no coping skills. Every one of my life's milestones were a trauma for them, needing a training bra, menstruation, finding me putting on make-up at 15, pimples were all my fault, were met with snarling thru gritted teeth. I was nine when the teenager living behind us lured me into the local woods, my magical forest playground, where my mom didn't like me going, tried to get his hands down the front of my shorts, I couldn't even tell them. I was so scared that I would then become THEIR victim, because first I'd be yelled at for being there, and it would then be swept under the rug. Sex was a definite no-no to talk about, so confronting his parents with the subject was too embarrassing for them. If you think I'm exaggerating, don't even go there. I told her years later, and sure enough, the first thing out of mom's mouth was, and I quote, "Grrrrrr, I didn't want you over there!" My mental welfare about the subject wasn't even discussed. Now, I too, have to look after my mother in her declining old age, but I'm determined to do the right thing. You naysayers can say it all you want, well, you must have had some kind of idyllic childhood. So, THINK FIRST BEFORE YOU JUDGE.
The thing that worried me was when Christina told Larry King (while her brother Christopher was alive) that he went through far worse abuse than her (and Christopher never corrected her on that). Poor Christopher - WTH did he go through? Christina's account was bad enough :/
@LeoWatcher7 AND YOU JUST BLINDLY BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ WITHOUT KNOWING ALL THE DETAILS - WITHOUT SWORN TESTIMONIES BY OTHERS? MY DEAR SHE GREW UP WITH 'THE' BEST THESPIAN EVER GREW UP SURROUNDED BY FICTIONAL AUTHORS SCREENWRITERS AND SCRIPTS SURROUNDING HER - HEARING HER MOTHER REHEARSING LINES - REHEARSING PRESENTATION WHAT MAKES YOU SO DAMN SURE THAT SHE WASNT AN EVEN MORE CONVINCING STORY TELLERS THAN HER MOTHER!? THIS IS HOW PEOPLE BECOME LOST SUCKED IN AND MOB MENTALITY IS BIRTHED PEOPLE PERMIT THEIR 'EMOTIONS TO CONVINCE THEM OF LITERALLY ANYTHING HITLER USED THE SAME STREET LEVEL PHYCHOLOGIES TO INSIGHT ENTIRE COUNTRIES TO TURN UPON ONEANOTHER NEVER PERMIT YOUR EMOTIONS TO OUTWEIGH YOUR INTELLIGENCE AND OBJECTIVITY✌️
Betty Davis was a person like the rest of us. No human should be glorified to the extent that they are almost turned into gods or idols. Good actress. Yes. There were other actresses just as good. I believe her daughter's story is a wonderful revelation into the life of what Betty Davis was.... as a mother. Wonderful that BD is born again. I wish it could've been said the same for Betty.
It shouldn't be a stretch for anybody that truly knows Bette Davis to believe she wouldn't be possessive and jealous of her daughters marriage. I believe it.
All too many people mistake Bette Davis' screen and talk show persona for how she really is as a private person, and as a mother. Most of these people are unable to separate their fantasies of Bette Davis from her real personality. Same can be said for Joan Crawford and Christina Crawford's relationship, they're simply fans who can't accept that they're not what they imagined.
No not true, I realize that actors are completely different at home. But the extreme that this woman has gone to is ridiculous. Now after all these years she claims her mother was into witchcraft? That is total crap, she has a desire to get a paycheck, that's all this new stuff is about. BD has an axe to grind as does Pisstina crawford. .They both got angry and wanted to attack Mommy because they didn't get what they wanted. Both B.D. and pisstina are spoiled brats and habitual liars.
Rage, possessiveness, cutting people out, fear of abandonment, need for adoration, control, manipulation, extreme sensitivity to criticism.... B.D. is describing a mother with a personality disorder (narcissistic possibly, borderline another possibility). It doesn’t diminish Bette Davis’s talent, but may help us understand her experience of life and relationships.
Your missing the point. WHO CARED at that point? This was so unnecessary. She knew it would hurt her mother but she didn't care. She acts like bette put her on the rack or something.
@@callmesir761 she cared and the public was interested, so I’m not sure what your point is. It’s not a question of whether sharing her experiences was “necessary” - it was her right and choice to do so.
She described herself. Bette was a diva, so sure enough, she must had been difficult to live with. But this daughter seems like a dangerously stupid woman in desperate need of attention.
My mom isn’t famous but she is a narcissist so I know how she feels. Trust me this stuff isn’t easy I myself started writing a book about my experience.
@@jsidwell05 I've been both. They're both badly traumatic in their own ways. I usually find when people say that, they haven't really bad physical abuse for years. Trauma ranking is a slippery slope.
BD comes over as thoughtful and intelligent, she articulates her relationship with her mother convincingly. I am a fan of Bette Davis but can see how controlling she could be.
@@scotnick59 Says who? She had every right to do as she did. There is no way this book was going to damage mother Davis. Nobody ever really touched her and that's the point. If she were capable of learning and growing as a person, then this book could have done that for her. But I doubt such a thing were possible.
I believe her and I have had similar experience with family members who are unapproachable with their head in the sand . They just want to pretend everything is ok. When she said Mother SHUTS out anything she doesnt want to hear, i can relate
I’ve been going through that for over 2 years. I’m 36 dating a 63 year old. I’m happy but my parents refuse to accept it. They live in total denial and never approach the subject. So basically part of my life is kept secret and unable to be shared.
That's how my family is....they can do what they want, treat you badly but you're suppose to shut up and take it. If you defend yourself against them, you will have the silent treatment forever and they hold grudges too. I must be adopted or something because I like to talk about a problem, fix it and move on lol
@@WeeeWriter Sorry to hear that. You know, it is difficult, but there will come a time when you have to say, "enough". I did. Moved away, ceased all contact, and I have never been happier. I don't feel worthless anymore. I feel ALIVE. If your family is TOXIC, you may become toxic, too, if you don't either, make boundaries, or make changes. I had a pyschology professor tell me something one day years ago, "If your life isn't working, CHANGE YOUR GEOGRAPHY. Just go. Make a CHANGE." It really resonated with me. Finally, I was able to do that, and I have never felt better, as I have said. My other siblings are all stuck in the same city, living out the same old dramas, stuck in their dysfunctional ways of thinking, and I am FREE!!! (With a loving and devoted husband, too, I might add.) It's your CHOICE, Girl !!! Best wishes and Blessings to you. Missditabomb. xo
My mother wasn't famous but she certainly behaved differently in public than when she was alone with me. I can totally relate to B.D.'s story. My mother was 'loved by all' but really was a crappy mother (self-absorbed, overly dramatic, took her emotions out on me). If Ms. Davis hadn't been so crappy as a mother, B.D. would have no reason to write a book like this. Moms who give their kids only love and roses get love and roses in return. If a child is "spoiled" its done by the parent.
Look up narcissists. It is a personality disorder. It sounds like your Mother was like mine, and BD too. One face for the public-and another face for behind closed doors.
My mother was loved by all in public and used me as her personal punching bag at home. I support BD. TRUTH needs to be faced. Adult children deserve to live in truth. We kept up the phony facade long enough to our own detriment
My mom was the total opposite. She didn’t care where we were and she said many things both in public and in private to me and about me that were hurtful. I never seemed to be able to live up to “her expectations” of what she thought I should be. Thank God for my stepdad because alone I would have never survived the humiliation that she constantly dumped on me. I was never good enough, smart enough or talented enough to suit her.
This was back in the day when you kept all the family secrets in the closet. Thank goodness things have changed. BTW she was pretty darn respectful about her mother when she could have really dragged her.
I have to laugh at the comments from all of you mental health professionals. Of course some will say that BD Hyman lied if only to stay in Davis's good graces. You didn't live in their home. Bette didn't raise you, you really know very little about their lives. Mother daughter relationships are often very complex and though I love Bette's acting chops I can certainly believe that she was a jealous and possessive woman. We all have our pluses and minuses, all of us.
Christine Barney I was abused my whole childhood and my mother her whole marriage..and at my fathers funeral everyone got up and said what a wonderful man husband and father he was.... Abusers know how not to get caught just like any other criminal.
you don't know either !!! and really you think a woman who has acted in hollywood travelled world and lived a life over and over is that petty I don't think so think people in their mundane hum drum lives are like parasites living off their parents who are famous and talented
Are you kidding me? What’s wrong with you, other than being a jerk? You know nothing about their relationship, yet you demonize her as a liar? Shame on you, you tool.
She comes across extremely well read and articulate, bright, smart, warm, outgoing personality. She seems likable. Well adjusted, no noticeable pathology. And, she has Bette Davis eyes.
@@QueenlySweetpea Michael is Bette's adopted son & was devoted to Bette despite her crazy a** daughter - have 0 respect for BD Hyman - She broke her Mother's heart - She is a religious fanatic and an unsuccessful woman - she wrote a book for the $$$ not to tell a story - Bette Davis is the ULTIMATE ACTRESS AND MOVIE STAR & ALWAYS WILL BE!! A TRUE LEGEND 🌹
you know what. that woman should be ashamed of herself. NOBODY is perfect. i grew up with an alcoholic and addict mother, but i always loved her no matter what (and i still do). i miss her every day. i am sure bette did the best she could for this woman. now --- joan on the other hand, well that is a different story. she basically admitted that her childhood wasn't so bad compared to joans. shame on her. her mother busted her ass to try to give her the best life and maintain her career. no one is "perfect" but i couldn't imagine bette davis beating her or abusing her.
She strikes me as a down to earth woman who said it like it happened and didn't bend to any of the criticisms leveled at her over speaking the truth about her mother.
An interesting fact... when BD was 16 she married a 30 year old man! And also Bette was more like her daughters keeper b/c she financially supported her daughter and son in law for many years!
I think it's perfectly possible to hold Bette Davis as the greatest motion picture actress of the 20th century, and still believe what Hyman had to say in her book. When it came out, all of Davis's colleagues, especially James Woods, couldn't come to her defense fast enough, but they only know her on professional terms, and on her best professional behavior. No defender of Davis could speak to what it was like to have Davis as a parent. And that's the substantial difference.
@@shannondavidson1886 Yes, don't worship celebrities. ESPECIALLY actors. So many of them act in real life and they can often be convincing because of their great acting skills
I read her book and my impression of the daughter was that she was simply spoiled rotten. There was no abuse, no unkind words. Her mother loved her and she allowed BD an adult freedom, including getting married at 16. BD and her husband needed money so she sold her out. It literally broke her mother’s heart. The end. She’s trying to justify her horrible betrayal. She also years later tried to say that Bette was a shape shifting Satan worshipping witch. This is not mommie dearest.
I understand what B.D. is saying. Everytime I try to get through to my mom, she also just rages or shuts down. All I want is for her to say, "I'm sorry. I had no idea. Let's start over and try to make up for lost time". How hard is that? Too hard for my mom.
Hyman views her Father with rose colored glasses and he abandoned her after the divorce but she sees her Mother's flaws with 20/20 vision. It seems like this is the way children who were abandoned by their Fathers always are, most never can admit their Father's selfishly abandoned them and started new families and never looked back. It's too painful for them to admit, their Father's simply didn't care about them. Actions always speak louder than words but the child wants to believe what they are told by the Father not by what his actions say. These abandoned daughters in particular find the truth about their selfish fathers too painful.
Her Mother was the selfish one. The Father knew that Bette would have started parental WW3 if he tried to exert any parental authority. That is how a narcissist operates. Look at how she trie to destroy her daughter's and sister marriages too.
Exactly. I dated a guy who had a narcissistic mother that really couldn't deal with reality. She needed the focus on her 24/7 and I'm sure she did not like when her sons brought home girls because she would inevitably feel compelled to compare her attractiveness to us young women who are decades younger than her.
Yes, I think that would have been best. I grew up abused, but I would not put the details out there for others to read. Some things should be kept private. I worked through my pain in therapy and in talking to my siblings. Wrote letters and tore them up.
I've read a few of the comments and don't agree with any of them, I've watched many interviews of Betty Davis when she was young and middle aged and even older, i even watched a few interviews with Betty's daughter and her Son, when they were probably in their 30's and they showed Betty at her daughters home with her kids riding horses! Her daughter said that Betty was not a star at home not at all! She was it the kitchen cooking and was a great mom! Betty said in many interviews that she was very proud of her children particularly her Daughter! BD and even praised her! And her son who was a lawyer! And if you look for the interview where she allowed her daughter to get married at such a young age and even paid for her elaborate expensive wedding! You can actually look up that wedding and see it! .... So what im trying to point out is if her Daughter had to deal with her mother in Betty's older age and maybe Betty did want her Daughters extra attention then why not give it with love! Surely Betty deserved that! Not Her daughter to think of herself towards the end of Betty's life! It just wasn't necessary! Im sure Betty wasn't perfect! But what she did have was pretty special! And what she did give of herself to her children in raising her kids was lovely! So i believe BD should have just embraced her mother and any of her imperfections because her mother deserved that! Especially in her older age! So shame on her Daughter for not celebrating her mother and all her wonderful good things about her! Because their are many.
@@alanspagnolia9474 Lol😆🤣 Guess you should stop getting on UA-cam! You might come across people that write comments! And they're opinions! Your hilarious 😂🤣
I like this woman. I believe her and I like her strength. She's honest, not bitter. She's the TRUTH! My husband had the same controlling behaviors, exactly!!
This is her story. She should be able to write her version. Relationships have good and bad in them and no matter what the book says we will remember betty davis as a legend. Love her movies.
She is as hard headed as her mother. These personal things were always kept in the family and not aired in public. B.D. in her own account, says that Betty took good care of her, it means she owes her respect and should not be publicly embarrassing her. BD has a success in marriage. She won this war of will by remaining married. Nothing had to be said in public to make it be more of a victory!. She was standing in triumph!. _I feel bad for Betty. God doesn't command children to love their parents. They are to honor them. Not bring shame on them. Not take them to the public square and whip them_
Hey there! I came across your comment and I just had to reach out and say hi. Your perspective really caught my attention and I would love to get to know you better. Would you be interested in chatting sometime? Looking forward to hearing back from you!
Like how she dodged the question about honor thy mother and father. The dishonor wasn't in keeping the focus on her marriage, the dishonor was writing a scathing, nasty book about her for the entire world to see.
Konga 5000 lol I know that all too well. My mom was a raging one too. Bd even said she had a great childhood. She said it was when she started growing up her mom was overbearing but I would be too if my daughter was with a man who was twice her age.
Here's the thing it's HER mother. It nobody else's has anything to say about it. Every single person has a story to tell. Her daughter felt that it was time to share HER story. If you choose to believe otherwise. You are ignorant to believe that the stars you see in the movies are innocent.
I love how people go after the ones talking about emotional abuse, rather than the abuser. If you’re abused, you should be allowed to talk about it - not keep these toxic secrets. Maybe emotional and mental abuse wouldn’t be such a popular weapon.
narcissistic parents are the most savage, cruel and selfish, with their own children. those who break away from the toxic relationship with sabotaging, narcissistic parents should be applauded, it is like stepping away from your jailer, and abuser, and finding a voice at last
and by reading the comments here i suspect most people don't understand how insidious and malevolently manipulative a narcissist can get. when this lady mentioned Bette trying to undermine the marriage, it all clicked. i have experienced all this, from the other side, and can tell you how destructive and self-obsessed these people truly are.
Moni THANK YOU! People are brainwashed in the mother department. I was too! I chased my mothers love my whole life! I loved her even when I told her of my molestation by a 15yr old male babysitter SHE hired when I was 8....Her response was "Some kids like it."...later she said she didn't believe me. I loved her when she turned every friend I had against me because she hated people loving me. I had a few friends that I got smart enough not to bring home to meet her. When I left home as an adult she created one crisis after another so I would take her in. My best friend and I had a business together and shared an apartment. We let my mother move in....3 months later my friend kicks me out but only me. My mother(a psychologist) had convinced my friend that I was her enemy. So they threw me out and lived together as I struggled alone, devestated. But when I got an apartment a month later....guess who was on my phone begging me to take her in...dear ole mom! And I DID! I did this kind of thing all my LIFE because of the societal BRAINWASHING about mothers. YOU'RE NEVER allowed to say they are evil...even if they are evil to the core and sabotage every chance at your happiness. You get beat up by people who think all mothers are worthy of love and respect. It's a shame. But my life only got better when I stopped taking the abuse and cut her out of my life. Im happier than I've ever been!
Just because they were "screen idols" doesn't make them other worldly and above criticism - no matter how much one might have loved their movies. Some people just can't comprehend that someone they loved on screen could have possibly done or said these terrible things.
I see B.D. as a little girl LONGING for her mother's affection!!!! I just purchased the book by Bette Davis titled "This n That', and it's alright. So far there's ALOT of talk about her illnesses, and her 'Personal Assistant' - Kathy.
This book was wrote because her mum was famous and she could make money out of it. If she had had the childhood without the fame part added in then this book would never have been written. Watch old interviews of Bette Davis and you'll see how much love she expresses towards her daughter and grandsons.
Ungrateful adult-child? I heard that Bette came to the financial rescue of BD and her husband more than once. Also Bette probably shouldn't allowed BD to marry so young, but she went along with BD's wishes. Maybe if BD would have worked and gone to school a few years before she married, she would have respected her mother's ability to take care of herself and understood the struggle to be a mother and maintain a career at the same time. There is always two sides of the story.
Honestly, I have the impression B.D. was really envy of her mother, because she have to live with the fact that Bette was a legend and she couldn't ever reach this status. So she was frustrated and blames her mother for living at her shadow.
Bette herself said that her grandsons showed more of an interest in acting than her daughter. She surmised that the acting bug skips a generation, so I doubt that Barbara wanted an acting career. More likely Barbara grew resentful if she felt her mother was intrusive as BD was establishing her own life as a wife and mother and placed the pressure of competing demands on BD. No person should ever be made to feel like they have to choose between their parents and their spouse.
She has those Bette Davis eyes! Having a mother with the same mentality, where everything is good to the outside world, and any relationship I have is a challenge for her to break apart (even my relationship with my child and sibling), has ripped our lives apart. Women like these that hate men, but want their love, adore their daughter, but make their lives miserable when they love anyone but her, end up being elderly and alone. Because, for me, it took me that long to realize she wasn't going to change, or realize how much I loved her and had enough love for everyone. I had to walk away to get peace and be able to love others. I so relate to Barbara.
Growing up with an abusive alcoholic dad, I can see where you're coming from on some level. Everyone thinks, or pretends to think my dad hung the moon. I hear people say how great of a person he is while I have strong personal recollections to counter their opinions. It's something I've struggled with greatly from time to time. Additionally, my dad is a narcissist who routinely triangulates the now non-existent relationship with my sibling. Dad intentionally manipulates situations to create conflict between my sibling and I . It's a passive aggressive means of punishing me for not relying on him. My sibling is his favorite, something he's made no effort to conceal. To have the favorite title, you have to be dependent on him, have the same interests as him, behave like him, and generally have no life of your own that amounts to anything significant. None of that applies to me as we couldn't be more different if we tried. Eventually I relocated 5,000 plus miles away, which he didn't like because of the diminished influence he knew he would inevitably have in my life, another mark against me. I live closer again but in a different state but our relationship stays on the shelf until it's convenient or there's a special occasion.
For years I thought BD Hyman was a villain for writing this book about her mother. Watching this interview I am impressed with how articulate she is and defends herself to the audience and the hosts. I confess that in the world of feuds I am and will always be "Team Joan". I mistakenly lumped BD in the same category as her mother. A belated 'thumbs up" to Ms Hyman.
I can really identify with what she is saying. I am glad that you came out with what happened to you and I think you have a remarkable attitude. My mother always could not accept my marriage and instead of trying to help she would cause harm. She became very bitter and resentful and I tried to get her to get help. There finally came a time when I realized that I could not get through to her and that our relationship was deeply strained. I have taken care of my mother most of my life and out of the four children she had I was the only one that stayed by her side through many illnesses, and for the last 3 yrs. of her life I took care of her day and night when she was put on hospice. People have told me that they think my mother did love me in her own way. It just hurts that I never got her approval on anything. She made me the trustee of her trust, but acted like she did not trust me. Would tell me that she thought I was so talented but then would stand over me and criticize everything I did. She was a constant contradiction and even though it was my husband who said if my step father died first that he wanted to make a vow to take care of my mother and that is what we did. Yet she never would accept him, even when I was too sick to care for her he would stand in and she would call him her nurse. So I think that people need to think before they judge what another person has gone through. I don't think that she is trying to hurt her mother and I did not want to hurt mine. B.D. seems to be at that point were she is desperately trying to reach her mom before it is too late.
Yes, I agree with you. Sorry you had that relationship with your mother, the relationship between child and parent can be very difficult sometimes. I've had a similar relationship with my father. I don't think people really understand what kind of affect it can have on someone.
Helen Richeal There are two sides to every story and has anyone heard the Betty Davis side ?? Has Betty Davis ever made any comments about this book and if not it shows the unconditional love she has for her daughter by not commenting.
+Helen Richeal You should have researched before assuming this is the complete truth. When this book came out, everyone that knew the family was shocked and said that Bette Davis was an exemplary mother. Even Bette's last husband, Gary Merril, with whom she ended her marriage on bad terms, and that actually was the adoptive father of B. D. Hyman, came to public saying that this book was motivated by greed and cruelty and never spoke to this woman again. Bette's other child, B. D.'s brother, also cut any ties with her. I'm sorry but if any of the crap in this book were true, at least a couple of other people would have backed it up, and the opposite happened. Also, Bette was very supportive of her daughter and her marriage. She gave authorization for her to marry her husband at 16 and supported them financially for several years. Shortly before this book was published, Bette actually prevented them from losing their house. How did her daughter thank her? By publishing this book when her mom had just overcame cancer, had four strokes and was out of the country. Also, I am very sorry for what you had to go through with your mother, but I don't think the situation compares in any way. As I said, Better Davis was very supportive of her marriage, and B. D. never even had to take any care of her mother, actually it was the other way around. This poor excuse of a woman saw that exploiting her famous mother would be an easy way to make money and took advantage of her. I am constantly surprised by how cruelly some children turn on their parents.
@@venicawood3894 perhaps she should have pulled a Christina and sell the rights to a campy movie script that would ensure the exploitation of her mother's memory, instead of just trying to reach her like she was doing here. Yeah, totally.
@@venicawood3894 no she should have did it when she was dead because succubus don't die since they were never living. It would have confused the demon to hear about this after it moved to another host.
MaliceInWonderland mine has covert narcissistic borderline personality disorder . She is so much like Joan Crawford. I hate how Christina and b d hyman are not believed.
when she said she had a wonderful childhood, nothing else mattered. You are responsible for your own emotions when an adult. In Part 1, BD Hyman admitted her mom was a great mother growing up.
BD was 16 and her husband was 29 when they married, not 32. There was a 13 year age difference. Betty Davis did NOT have to agree to the marriage, but she did give her consent. No matter, who are we to judge? Certainly I would not wish my daughter to marry ANY man older then her, but that is based on my own experiences of watching my mother and father, 11 years difference. My father was old long before my mother and her life stopped to take care of an old man who had treated her like his personal slave there entire marriage. He was an horrible father, a drunk, who beat his children and ran them all out of the house at 15 & 16 years old, so he was a lousy person. No one wants that for their daughter, mother, sister etc. B D & Jeremy appear to have had a long and happy marriage, despite their age difference, no thanks to Mrs Davis .
Having listened to one of her teaching videos, Hyman now says that she wrote 'My Mother's Keeper' so that Bette would feel ''outrage'' and she would ''go away'', so it wasn't because she wanted to ''get through to her'' at all like she initially claimed. In her second book ('Narrow is the Way'), she claims her brother didn't try to talk her out of the first one, but that is completely contradicted by what he has said in documentaries. The ending of the second book is very telling, she recalls the time she and her husband were watching Bette on a talk show. She spoke about how hurt she had been by her daughter's betrayal, and then the cover of 'My Mother's Keeper' flashed on screen. Her words, "It was only two weeks before I was due to start my paperback tour and mother had unwittingly engineered a free plug of the book. Jeremy and I laughed so hard that I don't know whether there was any more to the interview." What a really childish and spiteful thing to do to the person who, by her own admission had given her all her love and devotion, no child abuse, and something she fails to mention either on television or in print, an absolute fortune over the years. I feel so sorry for Bette! It really is terrible what Hyman has said about Bette on her religious shows (which she only got because she is the daughter of Bette of course). I would put a question forward to B.D., what sort of Christian keeps up such a long vendetta against her mother? She just wants people's money (now she can't leech off mum) with her religious CDs and books to help pay her grocery bills which, let's be honest, judging by the size of her must be enormous.
I think her daughter is being truthful with her side of the story... this is her reality of her mother-daughter relationship with Bette. Nevertheless, Bette Davis is still my all-time favorite actress.
Enjoyed the interview with BD Hyman regarding her mother Bette Davis. I found BD to be articulate and well grounded. I believe most actors tend to be narcissistic in nature. That being said, Bette Davis was and will continue to be one of the best actresses to come out of Hollywood.
Bette was a bad ass woman (in a positive meaning). No amount of books and or propaganda will erase her star power. Here I'm watching this in July of 2015 and Bette Davis still strikes fear and wonder in the minds and heart of all her fans. Her Daughter didn't scratch any paint off Bette..... Trust that! I love and fear Bette from her grave! LOL!
I think it's funny that people fall so in love with an acress/actor for how they know them on screen, and then defend defend defend and get so angry towards the actual FAMILY members who lived w them and know them inside out, for writing a book or talking about them in any negative manner. They have that right! Just because people were all hush hush back in the day doesn't mean it has to be that way today. They SHOULDNT be protected and thought of as so great, if they weren't. They SHOULD be embarrassed and held accountable. They weren't good parents and hurt their kids immensely and that stayed with and affected them throughout their lives. No one is meant to be perfect, but they want to portray themselves that way because of their fame and it's not right. I'm sure it wasn't easy writing these things about their mothers (BD, Joan Crawford's daughter etc..) knowing they would get hate from fans, backlash, their mothers and family members disowning them possibly, getting taken out of wills etc... but they felt they needed/wanted to for whatever reasons and it's their right. It could have been cathartic too. Everyone deals w things in their own way. Being kids of huge stars like that is already difficult, but then having to be raised w abuse and not very much love, was probably very rough and took a toll. Maybe they did the best that they could for the way that things were back then, but it's still not an excuse, and people shouldn't spit fire at the victims just because they loved the people for being iconic Hollywood stars! There's been lots of proof and people that have come forward to give credit to these kids and say that their stories are true, so…I don't get the hostility.
Mrs. Hyman totally nailed the older generations ideas of loyalty and love based on ownership and possession not mutual love and well-being. People do not like how some family values where taught and up-held back in the day can not stand up to the light of inspection. The problem is not honor your parents but how some parents use the commandment to honor one's parents and twist it out of context into " You must love me first and foremost your spouse and children will be around after I die." But these people intend to live forever with you as the help, who then take to their bed feigning illness and play the invalid for thirty years or more. I have seen this play out when the parents finally die, the adult child's whole youth, adulthood and middle age was Consumed by demands of a tyrant parent who become depressed to almost to death because they don't know how to live without their parent.
Karen Lacey you described my childhood and then still the mental hold all the way until I was 33 years old when I STOOD up to my "poor old grandmother" (her and my grandpa raised me for some years, and was SO sweet and a HUGE "christian" to everyone but her own children and then me.) I say "Christian" because surprisingly I'm still one, but realize there are a bunch of fake ones out there!! (or even how you said people who twist a meaning of something to the way that makes what they're doing seem ok.) Anyway, I think that's why this video pissed me off lol... is because I've seen it and don't think it's fair. People either hush and ignore it, play it down, make excuses by saying "that's how it was ", or completely defend and hurt the victims more by basically calling them liars and not holding the abuser accountable or stepping in or doing something about it or at least confronting them. (This happens today also, sadly) and then alive or deceased get this great respect and admiration. Sick. I could go on and on but this isn't Dr. Phil lol... just replying back 😁. I agreed w your comment though. My grandparents adopted my dad and were never loving and would always say to people "this is the little boy I adopted from Korea" not ever refer to them as their son. They just wanted like you said "ownership" and attention and brownie points. And just another example of what you said. Twisting things: "spare the rod spoil the child" = abuse in the Bible to my grandparents and many others who are abusers, fake Christians, or just from that generation. Ok I promise I'm done now lol. Have a great day! 😊👍
The interviewers challenged her on everything and she was more than able to defend her position. Good for her. She is a strong woman with a healthy attitude about her mother. I am a fan of Bette's acting - she was outstanding, but I can imagine that it would be very difficult to be so controlled by a mother who demands total devotion.
Bette Davis was just an actress, no more no less, why try to make out that she was something revered & above the rest of us . We don't know what went on behind closed doors. It amuses me that because someone was well known that they must have been perfect. If you don't like the book then don't buy it but if her child felt the need to vent then so be it.
Crystalclear Skies I didn't even see your comment. Similar to mine... most everyone is mad at the kids of these stars and defending. Good to see someone standing up for what's actually right instead.
Writing a book about your parent is not mere venting. She didn't write the book to vent, she wrote it to cash in on her famous and accomplished Mother. Bette Davis was more than an actress, she and Joan Crawford are survivors, they survived Hollywood, they survived men and they survived their ungrateful children. They were smart and they were tough. Their children were not only narcissist but delusional and greedy because they took the easy way out by writing books about their mothers instead of doing honest work. Narcissists think they are above working an ordinary job.
This isn’t about Bette Davis this is about reaching out to people who have parents who are the center of their own universe and want you to think that THEY are the center of YOUR universe. Bette Davis is incidental in that what the daughter is conveying. I knew who I was at about 2.5 years old and realized Mom provided food, clothes and a roof over my head, but as soon as I could I would break free. Got a job at 12years old (paper route) and started saving. Continued in school and got fast food jobs then left home. Some parents are good at making independent children and others make them dependent on them… Forgetting that they will die one day and their children will be left with the skills to endure on their own or dependent on them. The good parents teach their children to stand on their own with a good moral compass and an integrity that sustains them. This is about encouraging anyone to be your own person and not letting anyone including your mother or father to define who you are. Bette Davis’s daughter saw what her mother was like and formed her own opinion of herself and forged her own path without her mother’s consent and without her mother’s control. That is what this is about, that sometimes pleasing your parent is only pleasing them and not always the best thing for you and yourself to do. Do what is right for you and don’t expect your parents approval unless it’s something stupid and immoral. Then listen to them….
YOUR SO RIGHT! I was kicked out at 15 lived with my husband( first boyfriend) still went to school-on my bike, graduated married at 17 went to 4 year college and graduated 4 yr with by then 4 kids. I'm a retired teacher, still married 32 years 6 kids later engineer, police woman, army srgt, restaurant owner, touring racing circuit wheel man, model for Nike & she ROTC AT 15 with a pilot license. But our work is not done. We are not a dis functional family but we are functional with all our trials and tribulations!! No one is perfect
No one can spell either. You are = you're. If something belongs to you? That is your thing. why oh freaking why is this so hard for people to do? Just type "you are" if you are not sure. Same amount of keys/characters!!
I'm Apologizing for myself & many others. Some of us didn't have the privilege of Great Teacher like YOU! And then there's persons like myself, who were excellent with spelling & English, amongst other things, have lost a lot due to Accidents or as in my case illness, today is a pretty good one, tomorrow I might be lost walking out to my mail box. Please consider the fact that you were able to know what the person was trying to write or get there thoughts across. At least there trying.
@@margaretsmith6993 God bless you and the one that criticized your spelling, at the wrong time. You are so right, people should not be in rush to point fingers but take to heart good and kind comments instead.
Jesus Christ these hosts attacking her is just beyond inappropriate. This was her relationship with her mother; ask her questions and let the answer be. Challenging a guests this way implies she is in the wrong and doesn’t allow for her own experience.
You can tell who raised her. She didn't back down from the attacks. You can see Bette in her!!🥰
I was thinking the same thing. She needs to appreciate the good with the bad.
@@StilettoCutsQuick. I appreciate her honesty & candor.
She is spoiled brat even in her 80's.
Absolutely! She’s got She's got Bette Davis eyes lol
I see it as defensive and ugly pride. I don’t admire any of it.
interesting that BD lets her father off the hook for abandoning his own daughter out of some cowardice excuse, but the woman who raised and supported her, paid for her wedding, signed the paper for her to marry at 16, and continued to work to support the entire family is somehow the bad parent here. hmm.... so sad. this is such a sheltered, privileged human being with nothing else to give her purpose except victimizing and blaming
Well said
At least the father left her life completely and fully without becoming emotionally and mentally abusive. It's interesting to me that Barbara clearly explained the fallout with the mother, who tried on numerous occasions to break up the daughter's marriage and family, to the point where the daughter felt the need to permanently distance herself. It wouldn't surprise me if things came to a head, pushing the husband/son-in-law to ultimately say the mother was a deal breaker, and Barbara having to choose between the marriage and her mother. No one should ever be put in that position and if it comes to that, the person being told to choose should always pick their spouse. Shame on Bette for creating such turmoil in her daughter's life.
Providing for a child doesn't excuse being emotionally abusive and neglectful.
Hear hear.
MONEY will not BUY LOVE.
this is the most epic mullet of all time. it really deserves an award of some kind.
It is so bbbbaaadd it’s almost Epic!
Awful, awful hair. Hope she's got it sorted in the years since this interview.
Every catty comment here needs to change their profile pick to one of themselves’ from the 80s before typing one word 😂 (provided you were even born… one day your kids will be laughing at you, think twice)
Every catty comment here needs to change their profile pick to one of themselves’ from the 80s before typing one word 😂 (provided you were even born… one day your kids will be laughing at you, think twice)
Every catty comment here needs to change their profile pick to one of themselves’ from the 80s before typing one word 😂 (provided you were even born… one day your kids will be laughing at you, think twice)
All of these comments remind me to be thankful for what a wonderful mom I had. She was so kind and loving to me and made me her priority in life. When I grew up and was on my own I made her my priority in life. I thank the Lord everyday for his kindness and choosing her for me.
honor thy mother doesn't equal blind obedience ...I love that she explained it thoroughly..
True, and also we are only expected to obey parents when we still live in their home
It always seems like it is nonchristians who bring up wrong interpretations of the Lord's commands which is probably why they don't ever try to follow them themselves.
@@helloitsme98
What about the forgiveness thing. She said herself she was the one to end the relationship with Bette.
@@anti-ethniccleansing465 I thought I heard bd continued to try up to her death according to her; bd has an email she gives out on her youtube channel if you are curious or maybe you need to call her a hypocrite-bd to me has same personality as her mom & takes offense easily-i would blame bd's husband personally
Wish you had told my mother that lol
My mother was an artist that acted this way with me. I think unless you've walked in this woman's shoes , don't judge.
You're mother..was my aunt go figure...nothing. can make me...trust you....
Nonetheless...just another Story..for capital gain....
Bullhorn, mam. If a mother is mean, it leaves scars like nothing else
She’s really quick with answers, no dummy for sure.
Like her mother. I am watching her videos. At first I thought I'd get bored, but she is very interesting, and what she talks about is very compelling.
No dummy for sure
She learned tips from Christina Crawford and her own "Mommy Dearest Greatest Hits" tour.
TOO QUICK W/REPLYS N SOUNDS LIKE ARGUE/DISAGREE...TROUBLE
@@tomortale2333 She was eloquent and quick witted. Stop reaching. 😒
That's the longest mullet I have ever seen.
I don't think that's a mullet. Her hair is just finger waved in the front and pinned back out of her face. She doesn't have the layers cut into the front.
@@divalicious4888 it's a mullet.
it was quite distracting lol. I was semi-consciously trying to style it and cut it while listening to her
The way she is describing her mother is how my mother is with me. I love Bette Davis. I dunno what happened to Bette and her daughter behind closed doors. Perhaps we will never know. But no matter what, I will always admire Bette's strength & confidence. She will always be a wonderful actress.
This was back in the time when people were required to put up with their parents no matter what!
It’s still that way.
Nonsense. Obviously you weren't an adult back them.
How many mothers would be delighted with their 16 year old marrying a 29 year old?
perhaps she did that just to get away from her mother and find another home.
Bette wanted her daughter out of her hair, that's why she allowed such an early marriage.
She was 17
She was 17 and had threatened to elope. So Davis oked it. Then the daughter and her husband nearly bled her dry monetarily.
Right, your not 18 keep ur ass in the house!
Bette Davis' brilliant response to her daughter Hyman in her own biography: "Dear Hyman, You constantly inform people that you wrote this book to help me understand you and your way of life better. Your goal was not reached. I am now utterly confused as to who you are or what your way of life is. Your book is a glaring lack of loyalty and thanks for the very privileged life I feel you have been given. If my memory serves me right, I've been your keeper all these many years. I am continuing to do so, as my name has made your book about me a success."
Helena HandBasket - excellent response by ms Davis!!! Nothing can destroy a relationship more than disloyalty, which bd accomplished, that’s all she did!!!! RIP ms Davis, we love you❤️❤️❤️❤️
What a classically narcissistic statement! Proves the point.
@@robert3302 And, perhaps true. Bette, I guess, is to have a book written about her, and just keep quiet about it? I think not.
Did Bette seriously refer to her daughter as 'Hyman?' That's her married surname, not even her birth name, that's so fucked up.
What Bette refuses to understand is that BD didn't care if her book was a success or not (although I'm sure it's success is a rewarding feeling), she cared more about making her mother see herself in the book's mirror.
I had a mother like BD's and I fully applaud her for surviving her childhood without being a mental case.
who says she isn't a mental case
She is 100% batshit cuckoo-for-cocoa puffs, out of her gourd, just plain nuts. She's up here on UA-cam babbling about witchcraft and satanism.
Exactly!
I have watched this interview many times and I don't feel Ms. Hyman is being disrespectful to her mother. I think she is being precise and analytical about their relationship, because it's important to her. Ms. Hyman's analogies are well thought out and intelligently spoken. It doesn't make me dislike Davis in anyway. In fact, it makes the situation more relatable in a human way.
***** The public has a BIG problem separating celebrities "on air" public image with concepts of them being any different in private. There's the image we show to the public and then there's the private us behind closed doors and they can be nothing a like. I don't find this disrespectful. I appreciate her honesty. She knew what she was doing at the time. I believe her when she says it hurt Davis to share. Nothing she said makes me dislike Davis or think ill will towards her, so it's not disrespectful.
When you think about it, writing a book while they're living is more fair. Davis was alive to defend yourself, which she did.
CLIFF CARSON Amen!
Right! And they labeled her (the daughter) as the villain! I sensed no anger nor disrespect from her in this interview.
Boy bye she is telling her story you go and tell your just because Betty is a actress you don't believe mrs. Hyman
This woman was trying to describe a narcissistic parent before people understood the phenomenon. And they attack the victim for being "mean". This is very typical and adds insult to injury to the victim. Thankfully, people have learned much about these type of people and the damage they inflict on their children and others.
I respect BD very much after hearing this interview. She is brave and strong to be honest in the face of the blowback she was getting here, and elsewhere.
alex spectre .... agree 100%
Yes, Alex. Shame on the show hosts for attacking her. That woman was narcissistic. I recognize it very well because my mother is just like her. These people who constantly cornered her, are not doing their job as they should. Their job is to facilitate not to take sides, which they clearly did. And that man to mention that "they" some Christian feel what BD did wasn't christian, should have lived with the narcissist themselves. What a shame for attacking her faith. She answered very well.
I think the most amazing thing about this interview...BD is STANDING her ground. She talks about the events very matter of factly. She is a very strong woman. I haven't seen the interview of Christina to gauge the complete impact of Joan's abuse towards her. I DO believe her "assessment" of Joan upon first meeting is spot on. She knew BD's influence would threaten everything she had created. Which is a tale of TWO narcissistic mothers. Joan may have been more overt while Betty was more covert. Let's not forget how these women feuded with each other...
Definitely! Nacisstic mother, classic.
Gabriela 111 My Mother has narcissistic rage too. I had to cut her and my father out of my life because she inflicted many hurts (and continued to do so) without any acknowledgement of this pain. This also included terrible things said and done to my children. She wants to seem like the most benevolent person- gracious and kind (toward people on the outside) but behind closed doors she is jealous, spiteful, and Is a truly miserable person.
Betty Davis was an accomplished actress. Good for her daughter to write this book as there are plenty of people out there who have a similar situation with a parent. I have seen this kind of thing before, and is very painful and difficult. Glad her daughter found happiness.
Hey there! I came across your comment and I just had to reach out and say hi. Your perspective really caught my attention and I would love to get to know you better. Would you be interested in chatting sometime? Looking forward to hearing back from you!
BettE
@@franklinstephen3268 Can I look at these chat boards just one day without seeing some tired, creaky line from some random tired, creaky, DOM looking for a hook-up? You know, there are legit dating sites where you may get lucky.
BETTE DAVIS EYES! Danced to great/dance song? Anyone remember that good part?😊😊😊
@@franklinstephen3268I’m here for here for a reason I had a sim situation but w my Nan. Made me feel so so bad …..but that’s over. Life goes on.
See my other comment
My wife is the kindest person anybody on earth could ever imagine and puts most to shame because her kindness is so genuine but her mother is and was born evil and you would not believe they were related.My point is that Bette Davis,s daughter is the one that knows the score and has every right to express her true feelings because she was there.
How do you know the daughter is telling the truth, were you living with them? You
I said that she expressed her feelings and her mother is dead so who are you to pass judgement without knowing the truth yourself.I am not remotely evil and you dont even know that do you?.
Thanks Sarah,it is an honour to be thought of as a nutter.
No
Thank you so much Curleyteeth. Every person has the right to their own story. I find it so sad that the audience is basically telling her to shut up. SO sad!
You can't judge her until you have experienced the agony of living with an abusive parent for twelve years.
12 yrs?
@@imanjones3807 one year with a narcissistic, alcoholic, abusive parent is a nightmare, 12 must be a complete horror.
16 years! She was married at 16.
@@texan903 yes, spot on!
B.D. articulates her reasons in a very understandable way. Those who don’t understand simply don’t want to understand. I remember when the book was published and I remember various interviews such as this. I am a huge Betty Davis fan but, I believe everything B.D. says is true.
I agree & I do believe every word. The argument is just whether she should have written a book revealing it. There is an element of betrayal & exploitation. Im also not sure if writing it while she was alive was better than waiting until she was dead. That way it couldnt hurt her to read it.
I do as well...
OK, But she made a LOT of money from this book. 'Nuff said.
@@joanwallace1373 what show is this?
What show is this?
A good father doesn't leave his children.
Bette Davis wound rant on the daughter if she had any communication from the father so the father didnt want that to happen to the child so thats why he waited until the child was older to have a relationship with his daughter and it worked well.
Judge ye not lest ye be judged.
He does what he knows is best for the child. That’s the sacrifice a good father/mother does for a child. PERIOD. And he/she can only pray that the power that be lets them live long enough to meet again under better circumstances.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. BD looks like her mother and has the same outspokenness, with the firm voice and opinions. That is probably why they didn't see eye to eye about a lot of things.
Not an ounce of acting talent, though
Only she stood about a foot (exaggeration!) taller
No she looks like her father
@@scotnick59 Bette even acknowledged and made clear that Barbara simply did not not like acting, it had nothing to do with her not being able to to. She didn't want to act, that's why Barbara married early and started a family. Her marriage lasted nearly 55 years, far, far, far longer than any of Bette Davis' marriages ever did. Despite all of Bette Davis' successful career, wealthy, notoriety, she was an incredibly mean, bitter, spiteful, angry woman who spent her final years in the care of an aide, because no one else wanted to contend with her. People knew about Bette Davis, Barbara Hyman simply stated what people who knew Bette Davis for over 50 plus years already knew but were afraid to say. Kudos to this courageous woman for coming forward during her mom's lifetime, when Bette could still answer for herself, not after Bette Davis' death.
You can own a car, you can own a beautiful house or a work of Art, but you can never own a person. From the very moment you think a person is a property, that relationship starts to decay.
But if you act like a victim you’re just as bad as the perpetrator….best to just walk away
Yep
@@acer4237 I disagree. She has every right to speak out about how she was treated by her mother. She also has genuine issues especially if Davis kept her from seeing her father and told her lies about him.
Great interview!...She really did honour her mother in what she said...she was the victim of her mother's narcissism...God bless her!
Yes I love B.D. Hyman and how she expresses herself. My mother was domieering and afraid one of my sisters would wright a book about her but it never happened after Joan Crawford's daughter did. B.D. Hyman is a very strong and wise Christian whom I admire and have a very good feeling about. Betty's daughter will tell you that Betty Davis was a witch and she had to deal with that. It was very stressful and her marriage remained strong.
She gives me a strong impression that she is a narcissist herself, but could never match her mother; thus, the tell all book (despite her mother’s dark hour of frailty and illness), the born again 😆, then cruelly cutting off her kids from grandma. And she doesn’t seem smart at all. Quite stupid. If my narc mother cut me from my granny, my life would be horrible. Only cruel and self righteous people do that.
@@SculptExpress-gv8jpI don’t believe in airing dirty laundry.
That man/woman that asked the first question is awful. What a different era....I really like this B.D Hyman. The public are vitriolic & not understanding, she’s eloquent and I feel very very honest and fair. I have a Bette Davis type in my life....so I get it.
She's not bitter, just telling her story--I applaud her for it.
Exactly...anyone who says different is in denial.
What right does she have to tell her aging mother what to do? What a nasty book!
She has the right to her own life’s story and she tells it well.
@@londongirl1733she had the right to protect herself
@@lovetolearn881 Well I’m just saying that there must have been a less aggressive way of doing it. Seems very hard on someone old and frail. I’m not suggesting that exempts anyone of all wrongs just that I wonder were all other avenues exhausted first.
It is well documented that Bette died without a huge estate and that the enormous amount of money she made she used to support her entire family. She made sure her mother never had to work another day in her life and saved B.D.'s house from foreclosure, etc. etc.
Shame on you, B.D. for turning on her like you did.
Bette Davis was a great actress...but she was self centred, egotistical and extremely clever...it worked for her...extreme smoking and drinking were part of that era..however she definitely lacked empathy and boundaries! Not as broken as Joan Crawford and much more talented...they were extremely similar!
Anything you resent and strongly react in another is also in you!
B.D. Is allowed her own truth and she can voice it!!! Betty Davis might of been Hollywood Royalty BUT she's not a God...or infallible!
so much wisdom here. you hit it correctly. love it.
well said!
I found this to be a very interesting interview. She appeared to be truthful. She also looks and sounded very much like her mother.
Whether you believe B.D. Hyman or not, or question her motives behind the book, there's no denying she comes across as a very intelligent woman. That said, I do give her credit for publishing the book before her mothers death. This at least gave Bette a chance to defend herself, which she did.
If you think her intelligent, why don't you look up some of her creepy religious beliefs. not intelligent, demented.
Man, this broke Bette, though.
Why even write a book? Anytime?
@@katesleuth1156 Why comment, ever? Or post a video, or view one?
@@katesleuth1156 ... money!
I sympathize with both B.D. and Christina. I, too watched the adoration of my mother by acquaintances, friends, relatives. At home I dealt with two parents who had no coping skills. Every one of my life's milestones were a trauma for them, needing a training bra, menstruation, finding me putting on make-up at 15, pimples were all my fault, were met with snarling thru gritted teeth. I was nine when the teenager living behind us lured me into the local woods, my magical forest playground, where my mom didn't like me going, tried to get his hands down the front of my shorts, I couldn't even tell them. I was so scared that I would then become THEIR victim, because first I'd be yelled at for being there, and it would then be swept under the rug. Sex was a definite no-no to talk about, so confronting his parents with the subject was too embarrassing for them. If you think I'm exaggerating, don't even go there. I told her years later, and sure enough, the first thing out of mom's mouth was, and I quote, "Grrrrrr, I didn't want you over there!" My mental welfare about the subject wasn't even discussed. Now, I too, have to look after my mother in her declining old age, but I'm determined to do the right thing. You naysayers can say it all you want, well, you must have had some kind of idyllic childhood. So, THINK FIRST BEFORE YOU JUDGE.
The thing that worried me was when Christina told Larry King (while her brother Christopher was alive) that he went through far worse abuse than her (and Christopher never corrected her on that). Poor Christopher - WTH did he go through? Christina's account was bad enough :/
@@LeoWatcher7 he was tied down to a bed at night
Jesus is the way, the truth, the life.
AMEN
@LeoWatcher7 AND YOU JUST BLINDLY BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ WITHOUT KNOWING ALL THE DETAILS - WITHOUT SWORN TESTIMONIES BY OTHERS?
MY DEAR SHE GREW UP WITH 'THE' BEST THESPIAN EVER
GREW UP SURROUNDED BY FICTIONAL AUTHORS SCREENWRITERS AND SCRIPTS SURROUNDING HER - HEARING HER MOTHER REHEARSING LINES - REHEARSING PRESENTATION
WHAT MAKES YOU SO DAMN SURE THAT SHE WASNT AN EVEN MORE CONVINCING STORY TELLERS THAN HER MOTHER!?
THIS IS HOW PEOPLE BECOME LOST SUCKED IN AND MOB MENTALITY IS BIRTHED
PEOPLE PERMIT THEIR 'EMOTIONS TO CONVINCE THEM OF LITERALLY ANYTHING
HITLER USED THE SAME STREET LEVEL PHYCHOLOGIES TO INSIGHT ENTIRE COUNTRIES TO TURN UPON ONEANOTHER
NEVER PERMIT YOUR EMOTIONS TO OUTWEIGH YOUR INTELLIGENCE AND OBJECTIVITY✌️
Betty Davis was a person like the rest of us. No human should be glorified to the extent that they are almost turned into gods or idols. Good actress. Yes. There were other actresses just as good. I believe her daughter's story is a wonderful revelation into the life of what Betty Davis was.... as a mother. Wonderful that BD is born again. I wish it could've been said the same for Betty.
No one has the right to manipulate another let alone an aged parent into being something they think they should be!
The people interviewing B.D., were really one-sided and the guy was the worst.
E s Awards
right!
Kinda like the media of today....
Wally from WCAU TV.
It shouldn't be a stretch for anybody that truly knows Bette Davis to believe she wouldn't be possessive and jealous of her daughters marriage. I believe it.
With being such a consumate and extremely busy professional actress I don't think she had time for such garbage. The daughter on the other hand...
All too many people mistake Bette Davis' screen and talk show persona for how she really is as a private person, and as a mother.
Most of these people are unable to separate their fantasies of Bette Davis from her real personality.
Same can be said for Joan Crawford and Christina Crawford's relationship, they're simply fans who can't accept that they're not what they imagined.
You are wrong dipstick.
Totally agree with you. Many people here don't understand narcissistic abuse because they haven't lived it.
No not true, I realize that actors are completely different at home. But the extreme that this woman has gone to is ridiculous. Now after all these years she claims her mother was into witchcraft? That is total crap, she has a desire to get a paycheck, that's all this new stuff is about. BD has an axe to grind as does Pisstina crawford. .They both got angry and wanted to attack Mommy because they didn't get what they wanted. Both B.D. and pisstina are spoiled brats and habitual liars.
@@dustydoll9820 sounds like you excuse abuse in real life too. What a vitriolic ridiculous opinion to have about a long dead celebrity
@@dustydoll9820 sounds like you are abusive
Rage, possessiveness, cutting people out, fear of abandonment, need for adoration, control, manipulation, extreme sensitivity to criticism.... B.D. is describing a mother with a personality disorder (narcissistic possibly, borderline another possibility). It doesn’t diminish Bette Davis’s talent, but may help us understand her experience of life and relationships.
Your missing the point. WHO CARED at that point? This was so unnecessary. She knew it would hurt her mother but she didn't care. She acts like bette put her on the rack or something.
@@callmesir761 she cared and the public was interested, so I’m not sure what your point is. It’s not a question of whether sharing her experiences was “necessary” - it was her right and choice to do so.
I agree
Yes
She described herself. Bette was a diva, so sure enough, she must had been difficult to live with. But this daughter seems like a dangerously stupid woman in desperate need of attention.
My mom isn’t famous but she is a narcissist so I know how she feels. Trust me this stuff isn’t easy I myself started writing a book about my experience.
i know x
Me too 🤣
Interesting interview. The daughter is very sharp and strong and luckily she did not have to suffer like Christina Crawford.
I think emotional torture is worse than physical violence
@@jsidwell05 Sometimes, it can be.
I was impressed by how well spoken and commanding she was on camera
@@jsidwell05 I've been both. They're both badly traumatic in their own ways. I usually find when people say that, they haven't really bad physical abuse for years.
Trauma ranking is a slippery slope.
BD comes over as thoughtful and intelligent, she articulates her relationship with her mother convincingly. I am a fan of Bette Davis but can see how controlling she could be.
Bette was an egomaniac to be sure & B.D. had some valid points, but her timing was just awful
No one is a bigger narcissist and ego maniac than BD.
@@scotnick59 100% spot on
@@scotnick59 Says who? She had every right to do as she did. There is no way this book was going to damage mother Davis. Nobody ever really touched her and that's the point. If she were capable of learning and growing as a person, then this book could have done that for her. But I doubt such a thing were possible.
Lemonmoon You took the words right out of my mouth!
Bette Davis sounds like a narcissistic mother. I have one myself. I can relate to so much of what she's saying.
It’s hard living with parents like that , it’s always your fault
Exactly! People don't see what happens behind closed doors.
Maybe YOU were the problem, not your mother!!!!
I believe her and I have had similar experience with family members who are unapproachable with their head in the sand . They just want to pretend everything is ok. When she said Mother SHUTS out anything she doesnt want to hear, i can relate
I’ve been going through that for over 2 years. I’m 36 dating a 63 year old. I’m happy but my parents refuse to accept it. They live in total denial and never approach the subject. So basically part of my life is kept secret and unable to be shared.
Jubilee and Richie may God's deliverance and peace continue to flow in your lives.
That's how my family is....they can do what they want, treat you badly but you're suppose to shut up and take it. If you defend yourself against them, you will have the silent treatment forever and they hold grudges too. I must be adopted or something because I like to talk about a problem, fix it and move on lol
@@WeeeWriter Sorry to hear that. You know, it is difficult, but there will come a time when you have to say, "enough". I did. Moved away, ceased all contact, and I have never been happier. I don't feel worthless anymore. I feel ALIVE. If your family is TOXIC, you may become toxic, too, if you don't either, make boundaries, or make changes. I had a pyschology professor tell me something one day years ago, "If your life isn't working, CHANGE YOUR GEOGRAPHY. Just go. Make a CHANGE." It really resonated with me. Finally, I was able to do that, and I have never felt better, as I have said. My other siblings are all stuck in the same city, living out the same old dramas, stuck in their dysfunctional ways of thinking, and I am FREE!!! (With a loving and devoted husband, too, I might add.) It's your CHOICE, Girl !!! Best wishes and Blessings to you. Missditabomb. xo
I like to talk .
3:34 " Well I don't agree with you " BEST MEME 😂😂😂 smile + eye roll 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
She should have said "your entitled to your own opinion "
I was impressed with that; exactly what Bette herself would have said....straight and clear.
She definitely has some of your mom's ways🤷🏾♀️
That eye roll was so shanaynay of her😆 I loved it
I didn’t agree with the woman either! Good for B.D. for not letting g that woman bully her or shut her down.
My mother wasn't famous but she certainly behaved differently in public than when she was alone with me. I can totally relate to B.D.'s story. My mother was 'loved by all' but really was a crappy mother (self-absorbed, overly dramatic, took her emotions out on me). If Ms. Davis hadn't been so crappy as a mother, B.D. would have no reason to write a book like this. Moms who give their kids only love and roses get love and roses in return. If a child is "spoiled" its done by the parent.
Look up narcissists. It is a personality disorder. It sounds like your Mother was like mine, and BD too. One face for the public-and another face for behind closed doors.
I completely understand that! My mother is that way too. I cut ties with her finally about 6 years ago and I’m glad I did sadly
@@julieanna8495 the German expression straß engel, haus teufel, street angel, house devil fits BD well. My step father is the same.
My mother was loved by all in public and used me as her personal punching bag at home. I support BD. TRUTH needs to be faced. Adult children deserve to live in truth. We kept up the phony facade long enough to our own detriment
My mom was the total opposite. She didn’t care where we were and she said many things both in public and in private to me and about me that were hurtful. I never seemed to be able to live up to “her expectations” of what she thought I should be. Thank God for my stepdad because alone I would have never survived the humiliation that she constantly dumped on me. I was never good enough, smart enough or talented enough to suit her.
This was back in the day when you kept all the family secrets in the closet. Thank goodness things have changed. BTW she was pretty darn respectful about her mother when she could have really dragged her.
I sense....sarcasm?
The sad thing was that she got used to it and accepted that as normal
Wow
She's a very strong and devout Christian and teaches the Bible on her own UA-cam channel
Yes, she said it was way worse than she depicted in the book.
I freakin love B.D. xD her eye rolls are epic
I have to laugh at the comments from all of you mental health professionals. Of course some will say that BD Hyman lied if only to stay in Davis's good graces. You didn't live in their home. Bette didn't raise you, you really know very little about their lives. Mother daughter relationships are often very complex and though I love Bette's acting chops I can certainly believe that she was a jealous and possessive woman. We all have our pluses and minuses, all of us.
I know. A bunch of forensic psychiatrists, right! And really, really judgmental Christians.
Christine Barney I was abused my whole childhood and my mother her whole marriage..and at my fathers funeral everyone got up and said what a wonderful man husband and father he was....
Abusers know how not to get caught just like any other criminal.
you don't know either !!! and really you think a woman who has acted in hollywood travelled world and lived a life over and over is that petty I don't think so think people in their mundane hum drum lives are like parasites living off their parents who are famous and talented
Very well said.
Are you kidding me? What’s wrong with you, other than being a jerk? You know nothing about their relationship, yet you demonize her as a liar? Shame on you, you tool.
She comes across extremely well read and articulate, bright, smart, warm, outgoing personality. She seems likable. Well adjusted, no noticeable pathology. And, she has Bette Davis eyes.
yes she does have her moms eyes.
I have changed my thoughts about the daughter, the interview and the book. Her arrogance is no different than how she discribes her mother's.
@@MarthaMansbridge.. Who is Michael Merrill ?
@@QueenlySweetpea Michael is Bette's adopted son & was devoted to Bette despite her crazy a** daughter - have 0 respect for BD Hyman - She broke her Mother's heart - She is a religious fanatic and an unsuccessful woman - she wrote a book for the $$$ not to tell a story - Bette Davis is the ULTIMATE ACTRESS AND MOVIE STAR & ALWAYS WILL BE!! A TRUE LEGEND 🌹
you know what. that woman should be ashamed of herself. NOBODY is perfect. i grew up with an alcoholic and addict mother, but i always loved her no matter what (and i still do). i miss her every day. i am sure bette did the best she could for this woman. now --- joan on the other hand, well that is a different story. she basically admitted that her childhood wasn't so bad compared to joans. shame on her. her mother busted her ass to try to give her the best life and maintain her career. no one is "perfect" but i couldn't imagine bette davis beating her or abusing her.
She strikes me as a down to earth woman who said it like it happened and didn't bend to any of the criticisms leveled at her over speaking the truth about her mother.
60 min says she’s a lying, spoiled BROKE brat… that couldn’t force $ from her mother… so she stabbed her in her 77 yr old cancer ridden back….
An interesting fact... when BD was 16 she married a 30 year old man! And also Bette was more like her daughters keeper b/c she financially supported her daughter and son in law for many years!
I think it's perfectly possible to hold Bette Davis as the greatest motion picture actress of the 20th century, and still believe what Hyman had to say in her book. When it came out, all of Davis's colleagues, especially James Woods, couldn't come to her defense fast enough, but they only know her on professional terms, and on her best professional behavior. No defender of Davis could speak to what it was like to have Davis as a parent. And that's the substantial difference.
Don't worship actors.
Don't make false idols.
This way you won't be so conflicted
@@shannondavidson1886 Yes, don't worship celebrities. ESPECIALLY actors. So many of them act in real life and they can often be convincing because of their great acting skills
Bette's son has a very different opinion.
@@robjack2804 BD's son also has a different opinion. And it corroborates BD's story.
I read her book and my impression of the daughter was that she was simply spoiled rotten. There was no abuse, no unkind words. Her mother loved her and she allowed BD an adult freedom, including getting married at 16. BD and her husband needed money so she sold her out. It literally broke her mother’s heart. The end. She’s trying to justify her horrible betrayal. She also years later tried to say that Bette was a shape shifting Satan worshipping witch. This is not mommie dearest.
I don't care if Bette Davis was mean or not. She will always be my favorite actress!
What if she was mean to YOU? How long would she still be your “favorite actress”?
I understand what B.D. is saying. Everytime I try to get through to my mom, she also just rages or shuts down. All I want is for her to say, "I'm sorry. I had no idea. Let's start over and try to make up for lost time". How hard is that? Too hard for my mom.
A bit different with BD Hyman who is a raging born again nut job demanding her mother convert.
Hyman views her Father with rose colored glasses and he abandoned her after the divorce but she sees her Mother's flaws with 20/20 vision. It seems like this is the way children who were abandoned by their Fathers always are, most never can admit their Father's selfishly abandoned them and started new families and never looked back. It's too painful for them to admit, their Father's simply didn't care about them. Actions always speak louder than words but the child wants to believe what they are told by the Father not by what his actions say. These abandoned daughters in particular find the truth about their selfish fathers too painful.
Her Mother was the selfish one. The Father knew that Bette would
have started parental WW3 if he tried to exert any parental
authority. That is how a narcissist operates. Look at how she
trie to destroy her daughter's and sister marriages too.
Exactly. I dated a guy who had a narcissistic mother that really couldn't deal with reality. She needed the focus on her 24/7 and I'm sure she did not like when her sons brought home girls because she would inevitably feel compelled to compare her attractiveness to us young women who are decades younger than her.
B.D could have simply written a long letter to her mother.
Yes, I think that would have been best. I grew up abused, but I would not put the details out there for others to read. Some things should be kept private. I worked through my pain in therapy and in talking to my siblings. Wrote letters and tore them up.
You really are a special kind of fool! Like Betty Davis is going to read that comment instantly change her mind!!
I love how B. D. stands up for herself and tells the lady in the audience ip front truth. Betty taught her to be truthful and strong.
I've read a few of the comments and don't agree with any of them, I've watched many interviews of Betty Davis when she was young and middle aged and even older, i even watched a few interviews with Betty's daughter and her Son, when they were probably in their 30's and they showed Betty at her daughters home with her kids riding horses! Her daughter said that Betty was not a star at home not at all! She was it the kitchen cooking and was a great mom! Betty said in many interviews that she was very proud of her children particularly her Daughter! BD and even praised her! And her son who was a lawyer! And if you look for the interview where she allowed her daughter to get married at such a young age and even paid for her elaborate expensive wedding! You can actually look up that wedding and see it! .... So what im trying to point out is if her Daughter had to deal with her mother in Betty's older age and maybe Betty did want her Daughters extra attention then why not give it with love! Surely Betty deserved that! Not Her daughter to think of herself towards the end of Betty's life! It just wasn't necessary! Im sure Betty wasn't perfect! But what she did have was pretty special! And what she did give of herself to her children in raising her kids was lovely!
So i believe BD should have just embraced her mother and any of her imperfections because her mother deserved that! Especially in her older age! So shame on her Daughter for not celebrating her mother and all her wonderful good things about her! Because their are many.
Hey khloe! Did anyone ever tell you that you text way too much and way too long!! You're a real piece of work, you know that? What a fool you are
@@alanspagnolia9474 Lol😆🤣 Guess you should stop getting on UA-cam! You might come across people that write comments! And they're opinions! Your hilarious 😂🤣
I like this woman. I believe her and I like her strength. She's honest, not bitter. She's the TRUTH! My husband had the same controlling behaviors, exactly!!
Joyce, I know B.D. personally . You are right, she is a very strong, confident woman of GOD. She is the real deal.
This is her story. She should be able to write her version. Relationships have good and bad in them and no matter what the book says we will remember betty davis as a legend. Love her movies.
She is as hard headed as her mother. These personal things were always kept in the family and not aired in public. B.D. in her own account, says that Betty took good care of her, it means she owes her respect and should not be publicly embarrassing her. BD has a success in marriage. She won this war of will by remaining married. Nothing had to be said in public to make it be more of a victory!. She was standing in triumph!. _I feel bad for Betty. God doesn't command children to love their parents. They are to honor them. Not bring shame on them. Not take them to the public square and whip them_
Hey there! I came across your comment and I just had to reach out and say hi. Your perspective really caught my attention and I would love to get to know you better. Would you be interested in chatting sometime? Looking forward to hearing back from you!
Hi
God knows everyone's hearts and minds, simple. He is our judge. :)
Jackie Foster
Wow! I’ve said this forever!!!! It’s so true 🙏🏽
It’s a beautiful reminder, more so in these complex times we live in where nothing is black and white.
Like how she dodged the question about honor thy mother and father. The dishonor wasn't in keeping the focus on her marriage, the dishonor was writing a scathing, nasty book about her for the entire world to see.
Think I am gonna buy the book now 30 yrs later
me too . . . I read Mommie Dearest years ago. This looks like it could be a great read.
Did you ever read it? What’s your review?
Konga 5000 lol I know that all too well. My mom was a raging one too. Bd even said she had a great childhood. She said it was when she started growing up her mom was overbearing but I would be too if my daughter was with a man who was twice her age.
Good book
Here's the thing it's HER mother. It nobody else's has anything to say about it. Every single person has a story to tell. Her daughter felt that it was time to share HER story. If you choose to believe otherwise. You are ignorant to believe that the stars you see in the movies are innocent.
I love how people go after the ones talking about emotional abuse, rather than the abuser. If you’re abused, you should be allowed to talk about it - not keep these toxic secrets. Maybe emotional and mental abuse wouldn’t be such a popular weapon.
🎯
Ye.i.was.abuse
From.a.medical.facilty.
narcissistic parents are the most savage, cruel and selfish, with their own children. those who break away from the toxic relationship with sabotaging, narcissistic parents should be applauded, it is like stepping away from your jailer, and abuser, and finding a voice at last
and by reading the comments here i suspect most people don't understand how insidious and malevolently manipulative a narcissist can get. when this lady mentioned Bette trying to undermine the marriage, it all clicked. i have experienced all this, from the other side, and can tell you how destructive and self-obsessed these people truly are.
Amen. You got it in one word.
Moni Oh SPARE me the psycho-babble...blah..blah..blah.
Moni
THANK YOU! People are brainwashed in the mother department. I was too! I chased my mothers love my whole life! I loved her even when I told her of my molestation by a 15yr old male babysitter SHE hired when I was 8....Her response was "Some kids like it."...later she said she didn't believe me. I loved her when she turned every friend I had against me because she hated people loving me. I had a few friends that I got smart enough not to bring home to meet her. When I left home as an adult she created one crisis after another so I would take her in. My best friend and I had a business together and shared an apartment. We let my mother move in....3 months later my friend kicks me out but only me. My mother(a psychologist) had convinced my friend that I was her enemy. So they threw me out and lived together as I struggled alone, devestated. But when I got an apartment a month later....guess who was on my phone begging me to take her in...dear ole mom! And I DID! I did this kind of thing all my LIFE because of the societal BRAINWASHING about mothers. YOU'RE NEVER allowed to say they are evil...even if they are evil to the core and sabotage every chance at your happiness. You get beat up by people who think all mothers are worthy of love and respect. It's a shame. But my life only got better when I stopped taking the abuse and cut her out of my life. Im happier than I've ever been!
Lord, can i ever relate to a narcissistic parent, it is in fact a jail...
Stars shouldn't have kids - Katherine Hepburn was right.
...And if anyone should know, she should.
Just because they were "screen idols" doesn't make them other worldly and above criticism - no matter how much one might have loved their movies. Some people just can't comprehend that someone they loved on screen could have possibly done or said these terrible things.
I see B.D. as a little girl LONGING for her mother's affection!!!! I just purchased the book by Bette Davis titled "This n That', and it's alright. So far there's ALOT of talk about her illnesses, and her 'Personal Assistant' - Kathy.
Liberty GiveMe - ms Davis loved her personal assistant, Kathleen, prob more than her own ungrateful daughter, BD & I don’t blame her at all
Madam Butterfly I read an interview of Kathleen and she seems pretty badass.
Are there interviews half this good nowadays?
This was a very good interview! I admire this woman, and she doesn’t seem angry.
This book was wrote because her mum was famous and she could make money out of it. If she had had the childhood without the fame part added in then this book would never have been written. Watch old interviews of Bette Davis and you'll see how much love she expresses towards her daughter and grandsons.
Ungrateful adult-child? I heard that Bette came to the financial rescue of BD and her husband more than once. Also Bette probably shouldn't allowed BD to marry so young, but she went along with BD's wishes. Maybe if BD would have worked and gone to school a few years before she married, she would have respected her mother's ability to take care of herself and understood the struggle to be a mother and maintain a career at the same time. There is always two sides of the story.
She's definitely her mother's daughter!
Honestly, I have the impression B.D. was really envy of her mother, because she have to live with the fact that Bette was a legend and she couldn't ever reach this status. So she was frustrated and blames her mother for living at her shadow.
Bette herself said that her grandsons showed more of an interest in acting than her daughter. She surmised that the acting bug skips a generation, so I doubt that Barbara wanted an acting career. More likely Barbara grew resentful if she felt her mother was intrusive as BD was establishing her own life as a wife and mother and placed the pressure of competing demands on BD. No person should ever be made to feel like they have to choose between their parents and their spouse.
She has those Bette Davis eyes! Having a mother with the same mentality, where everything is good to the outside world, and any relationship I have is a challenge for her to break apart (even my relationship with my child and sibling), has ripped our lives apart. Women like these that hate men, but want their love, adore their daughter, but make their lives miserable when they love anyone but her, end up being elderly and alone. Because, for me, it took me that long to realize she wasn't going to change, or realize how much I loved her and had enough love for everyone. I had to walk away to get peace and be able to love others. I so relate to Barbara.
Growing up with an abusive alcoholic dad, I can see where you're coming from on some level. Everyone thinks, or pretends to think my dad hung the moon. I hear people say how great of a person he is while I have strong personal recollections to counter their opinions. It's something I've struggled with greatly from time to time. Additionally, my dad is a narcissist who routinely triangulates the now non-existent relationship with my sibling. Dad intentionally manipulates situations to create conflict between my sibling and I . It's a passive aggressive means of punishing me for not relying on him. My sibling is his favorite, something he's made no effort to conceal. To have the favorite title, you have to be dependent on him, have the same interests as him, behave like him, and generally have no life of your own that amounts to anything significant. None of that applies to me as we couldn't be more different if we tried. Eventually I relocated 5,000 plus miles away, which he didn't like because of the diminished influence he knew he would inevitably have in my life, another mark against me. I live closer again but in a different state but our relationship stays on the shelf until it's convenient or there's a special occasion.
@@texan903 I can relate.
........ well BD, what the Hell! You more or less had a Much better Life than most - JUST LET IT
GO BABE!!!
For years I thought BD Hyman was a villain for writing this book about her mother. Watching this interview I am impressed with how articulate she is and defends herself to the audience and the hosts. I confess that in the world of feuds I am and will always be "Team Joan". I mistakenly lumped BD in the same category as her mother. A belated 'thumbs up" to Ms Hyman.
I can really identify with what she is saying. I am glad that you came out with what happened to you and I think you have a remarkable attitude. My mother always could not accept my marriage and instead of trying to help she would cause harm. She became very bitter and resentful and I tried to get her to get help. There finally came a time when I realized that I could not get through to her and that our relationship was deeply strained. I have taken care of my mother most of my life and out of the four children she had I was the only one that stayed by her side through many illnesses, and for the last 3 yrs. of her life I took care of her day and night when she was put on hospice. People have told me that they think my mother did love me in her own way. It just hurts that I never got her approval on anything. She made me the trustee of her trust, but acted like she did not trust me. Would tell me that she thought I was so talented but then would stand over me and criticize everything I did. She was a constant contradiction and even though it was my husband who said if my step father died first that he wanted to make a vow to take care of my mother and that is what we did. Yet she never would accept him, even when I was too sick to care for her he would stand in and she would call him her nurse. So I think that people need to think before they judge what another person has gone through. I don't think that she is trying to hurt her mother and I did not want to hurt mine. B.D. seems to be at that point were she is desperately trying to reach her mom before it is too late.
Yes, I agree with you. Sorry you had that relationship with your mother, the relationship between child and parent can be very difficult sometimes. I've had a similar relationship with my father. I don't think people really understand what kind of affect it can have on someone.
Whaaaa whaaaa ....need a Kleenex?
Helen Richeal There are two sides to every story and has anyone heard the Betty Davis side ?? Has Betty Davis ever made any comments about this book and if not it shows the unconditional love she has for her daughter by not commenting.
+Helen Richeal You should have researched before assuming this is the complete truth. When this book came out, everyone that knew the family was shocked and said that Bette Davis was an exemplary mother. Even Bette's last husband, Gary Merril, with whom she ended her marriage on bad terms, and that actually was the adoptive father of B. D. Hyman, came to public saying that this book was motivated by greed and cruelty and never spoke to this woman again. Bette's other child, B. D.'s brother, also cut any ties with her. I'm sorry but if any of the crap in this book were true, at least a couple of other people would have backed it up, and the opposite happened.
Also, Bette was very supportive of her daughter and her marriage. She gave authorization for her to marry her husband at 16 and supported them financially for several years. Shortly before this book was published, Bette actually prevented them from losing their house. How did her daughter thank her? By publishing this book when her mom had just overcame cancer, had four strokes and was out of the country.
Also, I am very sorry for what you had to go through with your mother, but I don't think the situation compares in any way. As I said, Better Davis was very supportive of her marriage, and B. D. never even had to take any care of her mother, actually it was the other way around. This poor excuse of a woman saw that exploiting her famous mother would be an easy way to make money and took advantage of her. I am constantly surprised by how cruelly some children turn on their parents.
+Amalgamaite What do you expect! and she was right, her daughter never had enof.
I have a mother with BPD and can totally relate to and understand what this woman went through.
+MaliceInWonderland I'm curious. Do you think it was right of her to come out with the book while her mother was still alive?
@@venicawood3894 perhaps she should have pulled a Christina and sell the rights to a campy movie script that would ensure the exploitation of her mother's memory, instead of just trying to reach her like she was doing here. Yeah, totally.
@@venicawood3894 no she should have did it when she was dead because succubus don't die since they were never living. It would have confused the demon to hear about this after it moved to another host.
@@venicawood3894 - Better, alive, in my opinion, than write a book like this when one dies. It seems kind of petty to wait until someone passes.
MaliceInWonderland mine has covert narcissistic borderline personality disorder . She is so much like Joan Crawford. I hate how Christina and b d hyman are not believed.
this is one tough woman. i admire the fact that she didn't let other people's opinions get to her.
when she said she had a wonderful childhood, nothing else mattered. You are responsible for your own emotions when an adult. In Part 1, BD Hyman admitted her mom was a great mother growing up.
What mother wants her 16 year old daughter to marry a thirty two year old man?
Pearl clutcher over here
Well, Bette taught her well how to be a strong independent woman!
BD was 16 and her husband was 29 when they married, not 32. There was a 13 year age difference. Betty Davis did NOT have to agree to the marriage, but she did give her consent. No matter, who are we to judge? Certainly I would not wish my daughter to marry ANY man older then her, but that is based on my own experiences of watching my mother and father, 11 years difference. My father was old long before my mother and her life stopped to take care of an old man who had treated her like his personal slave there entire marriage. He was an horrible father, a drunk, who beat his children and ran them all out of the house at 15 & 16 years old, so he was a lousy person. No one wants that for their daughter, mother, sister etc. B D & Jeremy appear to have had a long and happy marriage, despite their age difference, no thanks to Mrs Davis
.
Again, she raised a strong independent woman who probably wouldn't have endured a man like that.
Private Name e
Every time she says mother take a shot.
🤣
SO GLAD times have changed. This was 39 years ago. So glad we are finally speaking up.
These hosts are horrible! B.D. Hyman put everyone in their place! I love it!
Having listened to one of her teaching videos, Hyman now says that she wrote 'My Mother's Keeper' so that Bette would feel ''outrage'' and she would ''go away'', so it wasn't because she wanted to ''get through to her'' at all like she initially claimed. In her second book ('Narrow is the Way'), she claims her brother didn't try to talk her out of the first one, but that is completely contradicted by what he has said in documentaries. The ending of the second book is very telling, she recalls the time she and her husband were watching Bette on a talk show. She spoke about how hurt she had been by her daughter's betrayal, and then the cover of 'My Mother's Keeper' flashed on screen. Her words, "It was only two weeks before I was due to start my paperback tour and mother had unwittingly engineered a free plug of the book. Jeremy and I laughed so hard that I don't know whether there was any more to the interview." What a really childish and spiteful thing to do to the person who, by her own admission had given her all her love and devotion, no child abuse, and something she fails to mention either on television or in print, an absolute fortune over the years. I feel so sorry for Bette! It really is terrible what Hyman has said about Bette on her religious shows (which she only got because she is the daughter of Bette of course). I would put a question forward to B.D., what sort of Christian keeps up such a long vendetta against her mother? She just wants people's money (now she can't leech off mum) with her religious CDs and books to help pay her grocery bills which, let's be honest, judging by the size of her must be enormous.
I doubt that Betty Davis was mother of the year. But I bet she is far from the worst mother too. This BD just comes off as mean
Totally agree
I think her daughter is being truthful with her side of the story... this is her reality of her mother-daughter relationship with Bette. Nevertheless, Bette Davis is still my all-time favorite actress.
I'm just in shock at peoples reactions.
Bette basically lost her only biological child at aged 16. All very sad.
Enjoyed the interview with BD Hyman regarding her mother Bette Davis. I found BD to be articulate and well grounded. I believe most actors tend to be narcissistic in nature. That being said, Bette Davis was and will continue to be one of the best actresses to come out of Hollywood.
no matter what she said about her mom I still love BETTY DAVIS
jennifer23ish So does she.
Bette
You can clearly tell that Ms Hyman is an intelligent speaker. She handled the criticism very well.
I believe here when she says it hurt Bette Davis to share. A lot of people are like that.
Bette was a bad ass woman (in a positive meaning). No amount of books and or propaganda will erase her star power. Here I'm watching this in July of 2015 and Bette Davis still strikes fear and wonder in the minds and heart of all her fans. Her Daughter didn't scratch any paint off Bette..... Trust that! I love and fear Bette from her grave! LOL!
I think it's funny that people fall so in love with an acress/actor for how they know them on screen, and then defend defend defend and get so angry towards the actual FAMILY members who lived w them and know them inside out, for writing a book or talking about them in any negative manner. They have that right! Just because people were all hush hush back in the day doesn't mean it has to be that way today. They SHOULDNT be protected and thought of as so great, if they weren't. They SHOULD be embarrassed and held accountable. They weren't good parents and hurt their kids immensely and that stayed with and affected them throughout their lives. No one is meant to be perfect, but they want to portray themselves that way because of their fame and it's not right.
I'm sure it wasn't easy writing these things about their mothers (BD, Joan Crawford's daughter etc..) knowing they would get hate from fans, backlash, their mothers and family members disowning them possibly, getting taken out of wills etc... but they felt they needed/wanted to for whatever reasons and it's their right. It could have been cathartic too. Everyone deals w things in their own way. Being kids of huge stars like that is already difficult, but then having to be raised w abuse and not very much love, was probably very rough and took a toll.
Maybe they did the best that they could for the way that things were back then, but it's still not an excuse, and people shouldn't spit fire at the victims just because they loved the people for being iconic Hollywood stars! There's been lots of proof and people that have come forward to give credit to these kids and say that their stories are true, so…I don't get the hostility.
Because they are defending their "rights" to own and define the children because they want the right to be RIGHT.
sundragon, thank you for your posting. this is the most intelligent compassionate and thoughtful comment i have read on YT for a very long time!
gina idrac awww so sweet, thank you 😊
Mrs. Hyman totally nailed the older generations ideas of loyalty and love based on ownership and possession not mutual love and well-being.
People do not like how some family values where taught and up-held back in the day can not stand up to the light of inspection.
The problem is not honor your parents but how some parents use the commandment to honor one's parents and twist it out of context into " You must love me first and foremost your spouse and children will be around after I die."
But these people intend to live forever with you as the help, who then take to their bed feigning illness and play the invalid for thirty years or more.
I have seen this play out when the parents finally die, the adult child's whole youth, adulthood and middle age was Consumed by demands of a tyrant parent who become depressed to almost to death because they don't know how to live without their parent.
Karen Lacey you described my childhood and then still the mental hold all the way until I was 33 years old when I STOOD up to my "poor old grandmother" (her and my grandpa raised me for some years, and was SO sweet and a HUGE "christian" to everyone but her own children and then me.) I say "Christian" because surprisingly I'm still one, but realize there are a bunch of fake ones out there!! (or even how you said people who twist a meaning of something to the way that makes what they're doing seem ok.)
Anyway, I think that's why this video pissed me off lol... is because I've seen it and don't think it's fair. People either hush and ignore it, play it down, make excuses by saying "that's how it was ", or completely defend and hurt the victims more by basically calling them liars and not holding the abuser accountable or stepping in or doing something about it or at least confronting them. (This happens today also, sadly) and then alive or deceased get this great respect and admiration. Sick.
I could go on and on but this isn't Dr. Phil lol... just replying back 😁.
I agreed w your comment though. My grandparents adopted my dad and were never loving and would always say to people "this is the little boy I adopted from Korea" not ever refer to them as their son. They just wanted like you said "ownership" and attention and brownie points. And just another example of what you said. Twisting things: "spare the rod spoil the child" = abuse in the Bible to my grandparents and many others who are abusers, fake Christians, or just from that generation.
Ok I promise I'm done now lol.
Have a great day! 😊👍
"She loved her mother" OHHH PLEASEEEEEEE
You don't even know what you're talking about!! Shut the f****** up
These interviewers clearly had an agenda and their affection for Bette. The male interviewer in particular was practically spewing venom towards B.D.
Haven Sabaini
Good for him.
The interviewers challenged her on everything and she was more than able to defend her position. Good for her. She is a strong woman with a healthy attitude about her mother. I am a fan of Bette's acting - she was outstanding, but I can imagine that it would be very difficult to be so controlled by a mother who demands total devotion.
The male interviewer is so horrible. BD beat them all, eloquent
Spewing venom like demons.
Bette Davis was just an actress, no more no less, why try to make out that she was something revered & above the rest of us . We don't know what went on behind closed doors. It amuses me that because someone was well known that they must have been perfect. If you don't like the book then don't buy it but if her child felt the need to vent then so be it.
Crystalclear Skies I didn't even see your comment. Similar to mine... most everyone is mad at the kids of these stars and defending. Good to see someone standing up for what's actually right instead.
Writing a book about your parent is not mere venting. She didn't write the book to vent, she wrote it to cash in on her famous and accomplished Mother. Bette Davis was more than an actress, she and Joan Crawford are survivors, they survived Hollywood, they survived men and they survived their ungrateful children. They were smart and they were tough. Their children were not only narcissist but delusional and greedy because they took the easy way out by writing books about their mothers instead of doing honest work. Narcissists think they are above working an ordinary job.
Jamil Gotcher disagree mostly.... they are iconic I still like them as actresses, but they were not parents in the least...
amen. Like the audience member who was so angry. i hate that. Presumptuous people or people that assume irk me
yes
This isn’t about Bette Davis this is about reaching out to people who have parents who are the center of their own universe and want you to think that THEY are the center of YOUR universe. Bette Davis is incidental in that what the daughter is conveying.
I knew who I was at about 2.5 years old and realized Mom provided food, clothes and a roof over my head, but as soon as I could I would break free. Got a job at 12years old (paper route) and started saving. Continued in school and got fast food jobs then left home. Some parents are good at making independent children and others make them dependent on them…
Forgetting that they will die one day and their children will be left with the skills to endure on their own or dependent on them.
The good parents teach their children to stand on their own with a good moral compass and an integrity that sustains them.
This is about encouraging anyone to be your own person and not letting anyone including your mother or father to define who you are.
Bette Davis’s daughter saw what her mother was like and formed her own opinion of herself and forged her own path without her mother’s consent and without her mother’s control. That is what this is about, that sometimes pleasing your parent is only pleasing them and not always the best thing for you and yourself to do. Do what is right for you and don’t expect your parents approval unless it’s something stupid and immoral. Then listen to them….
YOUR SO RIGHT! I was kicked out at 15 lived with my husband( first boyfriend) still went to school-on my bike, graduated married at 17 went to 4 year college and graduated 4 yr with by then 4 kids. I'm a retired teacher, still married 32 years 6 kids later engineer, police woman, army srgt, restaurant owner, touring racing circuit wheel man, model for Nike & she ROTC AT 15 with a pilot license. But our work is not done. We are not a dis functional family but we are functional with all our trials and tribulations!! No one is perfect
Awe sad
No one can spell either. You are = you're. If something belongs to you? That is your thing. why oh freaking why is this so hard for people to do? Just type "you are" if you are not sure. Same amount of keys/characters!!
I'm Apologizing for myself & many others. Some of us didn't have the privilege of Great Teacher like YOU! And then there's persons like myself, who were excellent with spelling & English, amongst other things, have lost a lot due to Accidents or as in my case illness, today is a pretty good one, tomorrow I might be lost walking out to my mail box. Please consider the fact that you were able to know what the person was trying to write or get there thoughts across. At least there trying.
@@margaretsmith6993 God bless you and the one that criticized your spelling, at the wrong time. You are so right, people should not be in rush to point fingers but take to heart good and kind comments instead.
Girl im so sorry you had to deal with all that abuse. I send good vibes and good thoughts to you and hopes of a happier life from now on!!!
Jesus Christ these hosts attacking her is just beyond inappropriate. This was her relationship with her mother; ask her questions and let the answer be. Challenging a guests this way implies she is in the wrong and doesn’t allow for her own experience.