Hiking and backpacking almost always help with my mental health - but as this video shows, sometimes even the usual stuff doesn't work, and it's okay to change plans. 💚If you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health stuff, you aren't alone. Big love to all of you!!
My mental health gets in the way of so many things in my life including being outdoors, even when being outdoors helps my mental health more most times. It is hard for the people in my life to understand that juxtaposition of feelings. I try to rationalize myself out of those feelings more often than not and have had to end things that I really wanted early and unexpectedly. These moments almost alway inherently make me feel like a failure. I know that is not true, but wrestling with that feeling and having to change course and frequently inconvenience the other people in my life even if that inconvenience isn't a burden to them it bring a lot of guilt with it for me. Thank you for showing what you did in this video. You are and always have been absolutely amazing.
I am so glad you decided to share this with us! I deal with anxiety and depression and have wondered what I would do if I had a panic attack on trail. I haven't backpacked in nearly 2 decades, have chronic health issues, but desperately need to get out hiking before it's too late and I kick the bucket. Dr has ok'd me, restricted by my symptoms (take it easier when having symptoms), so no medical reason not to. There's a tiny (68mi) through hike from my town to the coast I want to attempt. Your video showed me that listening to my body includes my mental health. Having a model of a choice someone dealing with mental health issues like mine made, models alternatives where my brain got stuck.
As a current therapist treating teens with anxiety, depression and self harm, thank you to the moon and back for normalizing we can experience intensity AND we can take care of ourselves. I appreciate you being vulnerable and honest with your audience. You were inspiring before and even more so, now. Many hugs!!
First off: Rainer, we see you! We know you’re not just a voice behind the camera! You’re an integral part to this channel, and whenever we see Miranda, we’re doing so through your eyes, so to speak. Second: Miranda, thank you for having the courage to share this with us. I’ve been dealing with anxiety & ADD (both undiagnosed for first 40+ years of my life), and I know what it’s like just not be able get your brain to tell your hands what they need to do. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to do what you need to do take care of yourself. And I’m glad Ranier was there with you. Thank you for being honest with yourself and us. Lastly: man, I wouldn’t be able to go out in the cold like that. Not. At. All. Forever impressed by the people who can do that 😊. Love to you both, B.
There's nothing wrong with bailing if you need to. If you're not enjoying yourself, or you don't feel safe, definitely don't feel like you need to stay or try to tough it out. Nobody should feel they need to stay out another night just to prove something.
Technical divers have a rule, that should be adopted more widely. Anyone, at any time, can cancel a dive, and nobody gets to question it. Safety, safety, safety.@@MirandaGoesOutside
Thank you, Miranda. As a retired Army nurse, I struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression. The outdoors is my sanctuary, but sometimes it can also trigger my anxiety. Knowing when to practice self-care and take a knee is difficult, but it is also very crucial. Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone.
Yesssss these are the most important hiking videos! We have enough of the “ultralight on an unlimited budget with no time restriction” videos. Hiking isn’t exclusively about covering yourself in dirt and walking until your toenails fall off. It’s whatever you make it. Life happens. Hike your hike. Help a friend. Live to fight another day. Thank you Miranda and Rainer!
Loved this video, loved your honesty to openly discuss mental health. Good for you Miranda for listening to your body and good for you Rainer for supporting her decision. 😊😊😊
@@MirandaGoesOutside exactly! I think this is your most important video since either of the two original ones with Pam. (Especially the flat trail Florida hiking video IIRC) Even with their being 8 billion+ of us out there, everyone has a hike or terrain for them. Backpacking ≠ summiting Everest. Taking a walk in the woods or wheelchair-ing around the block, it’s just about going outside.
This is weirdly probably my favorite video of yours. This is so much more real, about the outdoors and why we go there, than basically any other UA-cam channel. Thank you. One of the main reasons I go outdoors is for my mental health and happiness. Winter camping is really stressful due to how dangerous it is, any one who would scoff at you is clueless to that reality. Thanks again for your honesty and genuine self. I’m sure it will help others recognize and be more aware to “listen to their bodies”.
My wife deals with panic attacks and also suffers from General Anxiety Disorder. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for posting this video. It took courage to discuss this topic with thousands of people that follow you. It took courage to not only understand you were not in a good mental space but also in an environment that wrong decisions could have been fatal. We follow your videos not because your content is always 100% successful. You are one of the only vloggers within the backpacking genre of youtube that I feel is 100% authentic. I think I learn more from your videos seeing that not everything goes as planned and knowing that that is ok. Again. Thank you.
I just watched this with my 12.5 year old daughter who has difficulty with overnights. We both were glad you made the right choice for yourself. My daughter said she could really relate, and I could too. Thank you for sharing this.
I am 68 ... when I was young, I could not do sleepovers. I called my parents several times to pick me up. We did not have a name for this, then. So grateful to hear that you and your daughter are understanding the issues!! Best, best wishes.
This is the most important & hiking video ever made. People all over the world have similar experiences like this every day. But they think they’re alone in it because others aren’t brave enough to show what it’s like when things don’t go to plan. You two are amazing!!
I've only dabbled in (short) backpacking trips, but I usually go by myself. One thing I've discovered is that as the sun starts to go down, I get a really intense feeling of unhappiness. This doesn't happen outside of camping, and it doesn't happen when I'm camping with someone else. I'm not scared of being alone, and I go camping specifically to enjoy some introverted alone time, so it's not loneliness...but the unhappiness hits anyway. Once it's fully dark, then I'm over that unhappy moment and I can putter around with my headlamp, preparing for bed, and contentedly reading in my tent for hours. It's just that "sundowning" time period that does it. I now KNOW that it's happening, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's especially tough when (like in this video) I have some anxiety about my camp site and it feels like dark is coming on fast. The last time I went camping was a hike up onto some land that we were considering buying. I'd only been there once before, and wasn't sure exactly where I was going to camp. When the "dusk depression" hit, I could at least recognize it and remind myself that it would pass. I try to bring some kind of candy that really packs a punch (like Sour Patch Kids), so that I have a more intense sensation to distract myself during that window of gloom. So far I've only called it quits on one trip, when I packed out after one night instead of my planned two, but there were some other factors (like my new headlamp turned out to be crap and my cheap newbie sleeping pad suddenly sprung a leak) that made me feel like my 2nd night was going to be even more unhappy. That trip was also before I recognized that I experience that sundowning depression, so I didn't know what was going on with me. Anyway, THANK YOU for being open about mental illness and sharing this video, so that we know that even very experienced campers campers can struggle.
My Mom side is SO PROUD of you. My teacher side is EVEN MORE proud of you. I hope that does not sound condescending, it is in no way meant to be. I try to balance teaching my own offspring and students the need to "do hard things" that might end with results we do not want, then trying that again, with doing what we need to do to be safe mentally and physically. We do not talk about mental health enough in the US. When we try to have those conversations, people so often shut down, or feel like a failure for struggling, or feel like they should not burden anyone else with their truths. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for sharing all of this with such honesty. Thank you for having this conversation with a gazillion strangers on the internet. I love this channel because you are always blunt, honest, and truthful. (And you often make me crack up, too- not this time, as is appropriate). In seeing your lead up to the panic attack, I saw a lot of me. I pretend I am not having panic attacks and usually deflect. So a final HUGE thank you, as a flawed human trying her best, for the large mirror you help up to me and the work I still need to do with my own mental well being. The internet is a better place because you are on it, please know that.
I didn’t expect to be wiping tears out of my eyes at the end of a Miranda video… thank you so much for sharing all of yourself with us- we just respect you more! And Rainer, you’re a great friend…
I think this might be my favorite video of yours, Miranda. There is a seemingly unending stream of gear videos and how-to's. They're all valuable, but videos like this one are rare, and about things that most people don't talk about. Thank you for being open and compassionate enough to share this experience for others to gain some understanding of it and normalize having this conversation. Much love.
Thank you for being this open and honest. Not many youtubers upload video's that aren't 'perfect'. Going out there and getting back early, is better then not going out at all. Living with mental health problems sucks. Especially when you can't see it from the outside. I hope how this trip ended doesn't discourage you in any way to get out there again. You are awesome Miranda.
Knowing when to turn back might be more important than pushing on. I wish more ppl listened to their bodies. There'd be a lot less tragedies if they did. Too many UA-camrs push the bounds of safety and it bothers me. I look forward to your next adventure. Thanks for sharing 👍
Honestly, what an amazing person Rainer is. Awesome to have that excellent support!! Thanks for sharing this with us, Miranda ❤ I always appreciate the realness and authenticity we get from you guys. I also love that Tucker seemed like he knew you needed a cuddle at the end 🥺
Wow! All these years I thought I must be the only one who gets nervous or depressed when I’m out in the backcountry and sunset is coming on. Thank you Miranda 😊and the viewers who described my feelings. I feel less like a failure now.
I appreciate that you called this listening to your body... mental health and physical health are one in the same, and I have found that treating mental health as you would a physical injury makes the most sense (for patience with yourself, for recognizing something needs to change, for learning how to avoid that injury or recover from another one in the future). Mad respect, Miranda
Thank you so much 💚 I think you are so right - we pay attention to physical health and injury so carefully on trail, so doing the same thing for our mental health makes total sense too. Thank you for sharing this!
The mountains are my church. My demons can't find me there. But, in very rare occasions, amongst the peaks, the trees, the rivers, they do. And it jars me. In those very low points, I question everything. To know that there are others - you Miranda, and so many others who have commented - whose experience is the same, suddenly justifies the one part of me that sometimes breaks and that I am unable to reconcile. Thank you for putting yourself out there like this and thank you to so many members of this community who have done the same.
Excellent video Miranda - I love when UA-camrs show are truthful about their experiences. We live in such a fabricated world that everyone thinks every day is sunny and bright when we all have days when our brain is cloudy and overcast. I love the honesty!
Hi Miranda, I'm purposely not reading other comments here, but wanted to say something. I enjoy your channel, primarily because of your personality. We all present what we feel we should to others. This episode endears you more to me than any other. Being vulnerable is part of life. Sharing the vulnerable part of who you are with the entire world is rare and I appreciate that you dare to do so. Thanks, Miranda, if I never see another one of your episodes I'll know you are honest and courageous. And besides, any person who talks freely about pooping is AOK in my book. Hugs and take care.
I also stopped a hike due to a panic attack (aided in part from getting lost and horrible weather) sometimes despite knowing exactly what we should be doing it's healthier for us to look after ourselves in environments that are more familier. Thanks for this video, you were really articulate about your emotions.
I'm so sorry you went through this too, but thank you for sharing that! I agree - I can't say for certain that this *wouldn't* have happened in warm, easy conditions, but the winter and cold definitely made it worse. I'm glad I was in a spot where I could make this call.
Huge shout out for Rainier for being as helpful as possible, sometimes the cards just don’t play right for some reason. Get me out there with you guys next time we can make it a party!
This is probably one of the most important videos youve ever made. Thank you for your vulnerability and for showing something that many just dont talk about ❤
You are an amazing young woman, and I really enjoy your videos on hiking and backpacking. I'm 60 and have lived with chronic depression my entire adult life. It is a part of who I am, but it is not an obstacle to who I am. All the best, keep making your very good videos, and keep on hiking!!
I LOVE this: depression is a part of you, but not an obstacle. I often tell people that I don't suffer from depression, I live with it - it makes it feel more in control and okay with it. Thank you for watching! ❤️
I agree with all the comments about how important it is to talk about mental health, hiking your own hike, quit when you need to. Also how brave it is to show the world your dark place. It is so so brave. I also want to point out that I love how Rainer reacts. That is also something that needs to be talked about, how to react when you see someone struggling. Thank you for keeping snippets of that in the video. It shows the utmost respect Miranda and Rainer have for each other.
Thank you Miranda for being real and showing every side of you❤ It means so so so much for me, another Miranda who struggles a ton with anxiety and depression. You are the biggest role model in my life. Thank you and take care❤️❤️ Life is just so extremely though.
Something I learned the hard way is that hard exercise can trigger panic attacks if you’re already in that “uh oh” anxiety zone. Pushing through it can make it SOOOO much worse.
So true! Every panic attack I've had, I experienced in the middle of exercise. My panic attacks were misdiagnosed as seasonal asthma. I love hearing other people's experiences because often it helps me understand mine better and not feel alone
I'm sorry you went through that, but I love that you made this video. The more awareness we bring to mental health struggles, the better. I grew up in the 90s when mental health was WAYY more stigmatized than it is now. So many times, if people admitted they struggled with mental health issues, they were made fun of, insulted, and sometimes even ostracized from their communities. For some reason it's as though we as a society have been conditioned to believe we're supposed to be robots without concern or emotion. I'm so glad more and more awareness is coming out about mental health struggles. Because we _are_ human. Mental health struggles _are_ real, and they _are_ valid - and no one is less worthy of acceptance or love because of those struggles. We are human, not robots. And I'm so glad there's been more awareness of that fact.
Thank you so much for having the courage to share the tough stuff. Thank you for not just showing the highlight reels. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being awesome. When you said, “I don’t know what to do”, I felt that with my whole heart. I have been in that space and it is awful, especially when someone else is along. Thank you, Rainer for being so understanding and so supportive. Sending my love to you both 🥰.
Camping in those conditions would throw most people into an anxiety attack! I had a mild heart attack at age 49 and I've had issues with anxiety ever since, I just turned 60. You did the right thing. Stay safe.
As a retired mental health professional I want to say Thank You! When well known individuals admit to mental health issues it makes it OK for others to seek help. Great job!
Yeah... I can relate. I had Anxiety + altitude sickness on a trip in the summer and cut it short. Then cutting it short made the anxiety worse on the hike out. Love that you made this video! We have have our own things and it's nice see other, shows we are all human and that we are in it together! ❤
Ugh, that's awful! Altitude sickness on it's own is so bad, and I can totally see how choosing to cut the trip short would make all of that worse. I hear you and see you, and sending you so much love for future trips.
I can relate sooooo much! I suffered one of my (fortunately) rare panic attacks a couple of years ago on skitouring trip in the Alps. It was just the worst combination of different things - bad weather, us taking the wrong turn and ending up not where wanted to end up, being tired, altitude sickness starting to kick in and I was basically a newbie to the whole thing. Luckily my bf managed the whole situation like a pro and supported me incredibly. Also we got to meet the mountain rescue guys who were staying in the chalet where we were headed. :) Things can happen to anyone, any time. Hope your experience hasn't discouraged you from future hiking trips. ❤
@@adelamichalikova8682 Think Altitude sickness is like a force multiplayer. I live at altitude so I was like... I can't get altitude sickness at 11k Ft it's to low.... hahaha I was wrong. Turns out hiking for 10miles with a pack does no favors for your loughs
Thank you so much for showing others how common this is and a healthy way of dealing with it too. Please thank your pup for the helpful guidance at the end:)
Hi! Thanks for having the courage to share this. I hope it helped you and I’m sure it helped some viewers. Thanks also to Rainer for being so supportive and understanding. Maybe you told him what you need or maybe he just intuitively knows the best way to help, but it was good to see him helping (not just fixing). All the best to you both!
I'm so glad you filmed this, so glad you shared it all. Thank you for NOT faking it. I cried when you cried. Thank you for being so genuine to yourself and your viewers. Thank you for sharing. Canadians love you plenty, virtual hugs.
Good on rainer for being there with you. Dont have to push yourself if its not necessary. Youve been on alot of amazing adventures. But still you gotta take care of #1 "yourself "
He was really great through the whole thing 💚 It makes such a difference when you have someone there to simply say, "I want to do what is best for you."
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that it’s okay when I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know how to move forward. It happens to everyone. Some hide it well, but everyone has doubts. Thank you for sharing, Miranda. This is part of your journey and your honesty is what I appreciate about you.
ive been feeling this very heavy, disorienting and dissociative energy recently. you are not alone in the struggles of depression. thank you for being vulnerable and authentic. i’m sorry that you had to feel this way!
I so appreciate your honesty, and I’m glad you listened to your intuition to do what was best for your health and safety. There a no shame in calling a hike, and I’m glad you have a friend like Rainer who is there for you.
I know exactly how you feel. ❤ Anxiety and depression sucks because people cannot see on the outside how devastating it is. Thank you for making me feel seen the way I see you.
Oh I know panic attacks. You’re brave and selfless to share it. Thank you for being you. We love you kiddo. You keep being awesome and educating us. You’re a joy to watch.
Whoah! Just realised - that time when I stopped in a middle of a hike and asked myself «why am I here?» and didn’t manage to go on, I wasn’t being lazy! I have pushed it down as a failed trip, when me turning around was actually me listening to myself saying «hey - go home and rest!» Thanks, Miranda!
I am a casual watcher of your channel, but I have mad respect for you for sharing this experience. I remember being in the boundary waters many years ago with a friend and having a panic attack the first night. Your video makes it real, and makes the rest of us feel okay if we don't have a picture-perfect outing every time. Thanks so much for sharing and wishing you the best on your next winter outing!
I’m so glad you shared this video! It’s so important to listen to your body and not feel like you have to “fake it” in the name of making content! You are amazing and thank you for keeping it real❤
Thank you so much! 💚 After the fact, I was like, "I never fake it for any other videos, why would I start now" but in the moment I definitely thought I could just push through and pretend.
Thank you for sharing your raw emotions. I suffer major depression, anxiety and panic attacks too and this really helped me realise that I'm not alone in my mental health issues and I'm not an oddball. Thank you Miranda.
Thank you for addressing mental health issues in a personal way. We are so over the stigma around them. Your story resonated with me, and I am sure, with lots of us.
Thank you so much Miranda for sharing even your most challenging and difficult times. That's real life. And by doing that, I think that you just affirmed and validated so many other people's feelings and experiences. It is so okay to make decisions like the one you did. Thank you for being honest because you are not alone. You have my utmost respect. Happy trails.
It’s amazing how beautifully you handled this. It’s totally okay to have anxiety and depression. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to leave. I wish more people (my past self included) knew this! I think it’s so rad that you were able to listen to your body and recognize what was happening. Thank you for sharing this and spreading awareness!
Miranda I love every video you give us! Thank you so so much for being human, trusting yourself and being vulnerable. (Vulnerability isn't about winning or losing, its about showing up even if you can't control the outcome) I look forward to your videos every week and it isn't about the content, it's about you! You are a ray of light for us (your viewers) and we will support you through your journeys (whether they are over figurative mountains or the real ones with beautiful views) Also your production crew is amazing to trust and love you unconditionally❤
Been there. There have been times I don't even make it to camp and just turn around and drive home. Always appreciate your realness Miranda and, in this case, helping to make mental health less of a taboo topic of conversation.
@MirandaGoesOutside Great Job identifying your triggers and staying aware of how your emotions are being affected. Even though you didn’t plan it, You showed exactly how you should execute a risk evaluation. Many people forget about the human end of risk analysis and the bottom line is if it doesn’t feel right it isn’t right and getting out of that situation is a good call. Thanks for sharing…I relate with what you went through. I am glad Rainer was there to balance you both. @RainerGolden, great job helping Miranda you are the hero of this story.
thank you so much for sharing this. as a hiker and backpacker with an anxiety disorder, seeing you not only talk openly about how you managed this situation but seeing you make the call to go home is so powerful to me.
I am glad Rainer was there to give you a hug. Sometimes words are not what is needed. Just having someone there for support and a simple hug can allow you to release that anxiety and emotions. Thank you for sharing this aspect of your life.
Thank you Miranda for being so transparent. I suffer from severe treatment resistant depression & anxiety. Camping & being outdoors is the only thing that keeps me together but sometimes, despite my best laid plans, it's too much. Its just the way it is & that's ok. Acceptance is 9/10ths of the battle & then comes the self care. One step & one day at a time. Love ya!
Panick attacks are scary, I started having them about a year ago. I HATE it, such a helpless feeling. I've had to stop doing a lot of things I love because of not wanting to look weak amd embarrass myself in front of people.
I feel that SO much. While of course everyone is different, and you should definitely do what is best for you, I've found that doing the things I love help me feel strong in the face of panic attacks. There is strength in knowing your boundaries, strength in doing the hard stuff, and strength in taking rest. I hope you find a way to do the things you love again 💚
You were absolutely right to go home. If you weren't able to enjoy it, it just isn't worth it. I have suffered with anxiety and depression my whole life and yeah, it sucks, but it also teaches me about what's important. You're mental health is so important, and as a watcher of your channel, I would rather you were happy and healthy! Thank you for sharing.
This is by far, one of your BEST videos yet! Thank you for being brave enough to share your emotions with us. I've had some backpacking trips too bad for me mentally, and what helped me get through them were supportive hiking friends. You're very blessed to have Rainer by your side during these outdoor adventures because they don't always go as planned. I know, firsthand, the disappointing feeling of having to pack everything and hike out with headlamps; but finding the joy in that makes the journey back to the truck a bit more positive. Keep up the great work Miranda!
It’s people like you Miranda who are willing to put themselves out there that help lessen the stigma of mental health issues. Also having a wonderful understanding friend like Rainer is such an amazing treasure. No one knows what it’s like until you have experienced it and it’s not something you want anyone to experience. You will do it again when the time is right, we have no doubt. Big hugs 🤗
I am so happy that you shared this with us, Miranda. Sometimes I feel when I watch you and other backpackers that I'm failing because I don't always have a good time every time I go out camping or hiking. I have panic attacks and anxiety as well. Usually camping and being in nature helps me with that. Sometimes it doesn't though. It's nice to know that even the professionals struggle with things like that too. You're awesome.
Thank you Rainer for treating Miranda's panic attack with care and keeping it non-judgmental. Part of panic and anxiety is worrying about how other people with perceive us.
Thank you for sharing this. Not only the mental health acceptance, but that any number of things can go sideways and we can live through it. Sometimes changing our plans is the best decision. Take care
This is your show gosh darn! You do you! Rainer, is a great friend to you. I'm glad he was able to chill things out the first time, and then be ready to pack up and bounce when the time was right. I'm so glad you didn't randomly cut the video. I have felt this way on my motorcycle trips before, but had to push through due to time restraints, or reservations. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this. All of it. I hope it helps someone else take care of themselves. We love your videos, but know that we want you to be happy too. So glad you made the call for your own health. Hugs.
As someone who has never had these conditions, it is hard to understand what people who do go through. I can empathize and sympathize but never fully grasp the effect it has. I do think it is important that someone like you make these authentic videos to help the rest of us to get a better understanding.
I used to experience severe panic attacks. It really sucks but it’s not the end of the world. They have medications that can nuke most people’s symptoms
It's just the way your brain reacts sometimes. For me the first time it happened it was while driving after a couple of bad nights sleep and long distance driving several days a week. Hasn't happened since, but I will say this, after it happens once, you just feel it coming way ahead in other situations. In general for me it is when I am tired and/or cold (like way out in the middle of nowhere and cold). It's a bit like you feel you're not in control, like it is a constant danger (not being very close to a place where you can feel safe or relax, and you really need that place at that exact moment). It starts slow (like occasional very short panic) and builds up. Whenever I feel this, I am always like okay I'll head back. No point in aggravating the situation. There is no logic in it, logic will not help. What helps is you returning to a point where you feel relaxed and safe.
Almost everyone, if not everyone, has their limits tested and experiences something like a panic attack. Few people are bold enough to admit it, and even fewer are brave enough to show others a video of them having a panic attack. I, for one, am not that brave. I think it's really important for so many people to understand they are not alone in feeling like this. Sharing this is very important. Thank you for being so brave and open. It' also great to show an experienced youtuber clearly knowing their limits and exercising self-care over show-personship. You are AWESOME. Thank you again!
Miranda, I’ve been watching your videos for a couple years and rarely comment but I wanted to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your openness and honesty and vulnerability with this video. I also struggle with multiple mental health issues including depression and anxiety and this video resonated SO much with me. And it reminds me that I am very much not alone in my experiences. So thank you so much for sharing this with all of us!! ❤
Thank you for being authentic and honest. Around the 17 minute mark, I just wanted to give you a hug!! I have basically the same conditions you do. I had a horrible panic attack in Costa Rica surrounded by incredibly beauty. I've felt pretty embarrassed about it, but this video helped me understand I have nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you!
I’m in healthcare, and a hiker. Thank you for helping to normalize what living with anxiety can bring. Hiking helped me crawl out of a deep anxious hole…. But can also challenge me, and so many. Thank you for being real . You’ve gained a lifelong follower
I had a mentally challenging trip 2 years ago and initially decided to push through. Contrary to what our culture suggests, I, as a "grown man" was at the brink of crying for 1.5 days alone in the woods. At the end of the second day I was mentally so exhausted, that I was happy that I injured my knee and had a different reason to pack up and come home 3 days early. I just wasn't mature enough to make the same step and decide to go home just because of my mental state and it was a great lesson that I'll remember. It's difficult watching you suffer but it's a really important video to make and for us, the viewers, to watch. Thank you for always being so open about everything, not just mental health, but any topics others tend to avoid (poop included). I love your content especially because you don't sugarcoat anything and give us the plain reality, with all of its ups and downs.
Thank you. I am also afraid of having a panic attack out there and being a people pleaser I might not have the courage to have made your choice. This helps even in a small way. Love that you’re keeping it real.
Nothing I love more than honesty. You are not the first backpacker I've seen "fess up". Takes guts! And, it's important for all of us to better understand ourselves and others. Rainer helped with his words of comfort. You helped by explaining what was happening to you and how to best resolve it - and allow that it was okay. Three cheers to the brave!!! You guys rock! It's your show gosh darn!!!
You're good people, and clearly surrounded by good people. The snow will be there for you when you're ready to give it another shot and we'll be here waiting to see it!
As a person with a generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis and probably some other undiagnosed issues this has got to be one of the most validating things I've seen. Shoutout to Rainer for his support, I am a bit jealous of that.
Thank you for sharing this video. Mental illness isn't a joke and being miserable with a stiff upper lip is not going to make a trip better. You made the right call - don't make a fake video. You had Ranier there to support you. I'm glad you're okay. I'll see you next time outside.❤
The strongest people I know all have the same things in common. They know their limitations. When they get overwhelmed, they assess the situation. And if they decide to call it, then they call ir. "Not today, boys!" is one of the most powerful and self-affirming staments you will ever say. It is a sign of strength, Miranda, ...not weakness. I know a thing or two about percerverence. And you perservered. You made the right decision toward the correst goal and went forrward with it. You are stronger than you think. Trust yourself. We all love you.
Our mental health matters, and listening to our body includes our brain! Sometimes you can't explain away a feeling, even if you know rationally that you are okay and safe. I'm proud of you for listening to yourself, trusting yourself, and giving yourself what you needed in that moment. Also, it helps to have supportive people around you like Rainer (shoutout, you were so supportive) that help you navigate through those feelings and are willing to pivot in the moment. Sending all the love!! Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable, but real and honest trip.
I think the last scene says it all, don't you wish we could all be the people our dogs think we are ? Thanks for being real, and making it OK to know when to say it's time to call it, and be safe.
One of the reasons why I love your content is because of how raw and real you are. Thank you for sharing this deeply emotional journey. Sometimes our emotions and our anxieties defeat us but it’s through love and beauty (which can be found in so many things, as you know) is what help us trek on and keep going, on moving forward. Always remember, you are never alone Miranda! ❤❤
Thanks for being so open. Also, shout out to Rainer for being what you needed in that moment. My wife struggles with anxiety and it’s taken a lot of trial and error to learn how to respond to her panic attacks. I love seeing that you have that with a friend. I also need to shout out Tucker at the end there. Dogs just get it. We don’t deserve dogs
The minute you weren’t seeing the site your brain was hoping for you could feel the energy shift. Such a tender moment with Rainer. You could tell he certainly knows you and cares about you.
Thank you for posting this video. As a 51 year old man, who has learned more than I ever wanted to about mental health in the last several years, including my own unexpected experiences with panic attacks, I really appreciate you posting this. There are times in our lives when we have to decide if it's best to "fake it" or pack it in, and fight another day. There is peace and wisdom in making the best choice.
I am so glad you shared this! I have suffered with anxiety and depression my whole life. I was only diagnosed and began treatment 3 years ago! I have been where you were in this video many times and did not realize what was happening. I thought I was weak. If only one person realizes that they can get help from your video it will be worth it. You are brave and kindhearted! Keep up the great work we all appreciate your openness and wonderful personality!
Hiking and backpacking almost always help with my mental health - but as this video shows, sometimes even the usual stuff doesn't work, and it's okay to change plans. 💚If you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health stuff, you aren't alone. Big love to all of you!!
As someone who struggles with depression and anxiety I felt this video! Thank you for sharing. The stigma is real! Much love
My mental health gets in the way of so many things in my life including being outdoors, even when being outdoors helps my mental health more most times. It is hard for the people in my life to understand that juxtaposition of feelings. I try to rationalize myself out of those feelings more often than not and have had to end things that I really wanted early and unexpectedly. These moments almost alway inherently make me feel like a failure. I know that is not true, but wrestling with that feeling and having to change course and frequently inconvenience the other people in my life even if that inconvenience isn't a burden to them it bring a lot of guilt with it for me. Thank you for showing what you did in this video. You are and always have been absolutely amazing.
Thank you for sharing Miranda. Very powerful and
there's nothing wrong with changing your mind. That's a strong decision at a difficult time.
I am so glad you decided to share this with us! I deal with anxiety and depression and have wondered what I would do if I had a panic attack on trail. I haven't backpacked in nearly 2 decades, have chronic health issues, but desperately need to get out hiking before it's too late and I kick the bucket. Dr has ok'd me, restricted by my symptoms (take it easier when having symptoms), so no medical reason not to. There's a tiny (68mi) through hike from my town to the coast I want to attempt.
Your video showed me that listening to my body includes my mental health. Having a model of a choice someone dealing with mental health issues like mine made, models alternatives where my brain got stuck.
Thank you 🙏
As a current therapist treating teens with anxiety, depression and self harm, thank you to the moon and back for normalizing we can experience intensity AND we can take care of ourselves. I appreciate you being vulnerable and honest with your audience. You were inspiring before and even more so, now. Many hugs!!
As a fellow therapist and backpacker I wholeheartedly endorse this comment!
Bless you, Rainer.
He's the real deal 💚
You do know that the whole community is waiting for the big day right?
😆 wouldn't THAT be a big video...
@@MirandaGoesOutside hint hint?
Could do wonders for your mental health 😂
First off: Rainer, we see you! We know you’re not just a voice behind the camera! You’re an integral part to this channel, and whenever we see Miranda, we’re doing so through your eyes, so to speak.
Second: Miranda, thank you for having the courage to share this with us. I’ve been dealing with anxiety & ADD (both undiagnosed for first 40+ years of my life), and I know what it’s like just not be able get your brain to tell your hands what they need to do. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to do what you need to do take care of yourself. And I’m glad Ranier was there with you. Thank you for being honest with yourself and us.
Lastly: man, I wouldn’t be able to go out in the cold like that. Not. At. All. Forever impressed by the people who can do that 😊.
Love to you both,
B.
There's nothing wrong with bailing if you need to. If you're not enjoying yourself, or you don't feel safe, definitely don't feel like you need to stay or try to tough it out. Nobody should feel they need to stay out another night just to prove something.
100% this! Safety and happiness is always most important. Your reason for turning back doesn't need to be anything big.
Technical divers have a rule, that should be adopted more widely. Anyone, at any time, can cancel a dive, and nobody gets to question it. Safety, safety, safety.@@MirandaGoesOutside
are you dependent on each other during a dive? @@jasonwilson4185
I agree! Always have a way to bail if you need to, and "need to" can be as simple as "I'm really not feeling this today".
@@jasonwilson4185This is a fact ... Fellow tech diver.
Thank you, Miranda. As a retired Army nurse, I struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression. The outdoors is my sanctuary, but sometimes it can also trigger my anxiety. Knowing when to practice self-care and take a knee is difficult, but it is also very crucial. Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone.
Yesssss these are the most important hiking videos!
We have enough of the “ultralight on an unlimited budget with no time restriction” videos.
Hiking isn’t exclusively about covering yourself in dirt and walking until your toenails fall off. It’s whatever you make it.
Life happens. Hike your hike. Help a friend. Live to fight another day.
Thank you Miranda and Rainer!
Thank you ❤️ I couldn't have said it better myself - hiking is whatever you make it!
Loved this video, loved your honesty to openly discuss mental health. Good for you Miranda for listening to your body and good for you Rainer for supporting her decision. 😊😊😊
@@MirandaGoesOutside exactly! I think this is your most important video since either of the two original ones with Pam. (Especially the flat trail Florida hiking video IIRC)
Even with their being 8 billion+ of us out there, everyone has a hike or terrain for them.
Backpacking ≠ summiting Everest.
Taking a walk in the woods or wheelchair-ing around the block, it’s just about going outside.
This is weirdly probably my favorite video of yours. This is so much more real, about the outdoors and why we go there, than basically any other UA-cam channel. Thank you. One of the main reasons I go outdoors is for my mental health and happiness. Winter camping is really stressful due to how dangerous it is, any one who would scoff at you is clueless to that reality. Thanks again for your honesty and genuine self. I’m sure it will help others recognize and be more aware to “listen to their bodies”.
This, along with Dixie from HomemadeWanderlust hitting her SOS button, might be the two most important backpacking videos.
100% agree
Yes. There’s a point with exercise and basically building a house, where I’ve seen everyone lie down and cry. Add some anxiety and…
My wife deals with panic attacks and also suffers from General Anxiety Disorder. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for posting this video.
It took courage to discuss this topic with thousands of people that follow you.
It took courage to not only understand you were not in a good mental space but also in an environment that wrong decisions could have been fatal.
We follow your videos not because your content is always 100% successful. You are one of the only vloggers within the backpacking genre of youtube that I feel is 100% authentic. I think I learn more from your videos seeing that not everything goes as planned and knowing that that is ok. Again. Thank you.
I just watched this with my 12.5 year old daughter who has difficulty with overnights. We both were glad you made the right choice for yourself. My daughter said she could really relate, and I could too. Thank you for sharing this.
I am 68 ... when I was young, I could not do sleepovers. I called my parents several times to pick me up. We did not have a name for this, then. So grateful to hear that you and your daughter are understanding the issues!! Best, best wishes.
This is the most important & hiking video ever made. People all over the world have similar experiences like this every day. But they think they’re alone in it because others aren’t brave enough to show what it’s like when things don’t go to plan. You two are amazing!!
100%. I had never heard anyone talk about having a panic attack while backpacking before so I felt like it was only me.
I've only dabbled in (short) backpacking trips, but I usually go by myself. One thing I've discovered is that as the sun starts to go down, I get a really intense feeling of unhappiness. This doesn't happen outside of camping, and it doesn't happen when I'm camping with someone else. I'm not scared of being alone, and I go camping specifically to enjoy some introverted alone time, so it's not loneliness...but the unhappiness hits anyway. Once it's fully dark, then I'm over that unhappy moment and I can putter around with my headlamp, preparing for bed, and contentedly reading in my tent for hours. It's just that "sundowning" time period that does it. I now KNOW that it's happening, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's especially tough when (like in this video) I have some anxiety about my camp site and it feels like dark is coming on fast. The last time I went camping was a hike up onto some land that we were considering buying. I'd only been there once before, and wasn't sure exactly where I was going to camp. When the "dusk depression" hit, I could at least recognize it and remind myself that it would pass. I try to bring some kind of candy that really packs a punch (like Sour Patch Kids), so that I have a more intense sensation to distract myself during that window of gloom. So far I've only called it quits on one trip, when I packed out after one night instead of my planned two, but there were some other factors (like my new headlamp turned out to be crap and my cheap newbie sleeping pad suddenly sprung a leak) that made me feel like my 2nd night was going to be even more unhappy. That trip was also before I recognized that I experience that sundowning depression, so I didn't know what was going on with me. Anyway, THANK YOU for being open about mental illness and sharing this video, so that we know that even very experienced campers campers can struggle.
Omg the same thing happens to me. I don’t get it. Hope that the more we do it the more we get used to it
Thank you for being so open and honest, Miranda! You’re incredible, and such an inspiration.
Love you so much, Pammy. Thank you for always being open to talking about mental health with me, especially before I had a name for what was going on.
Everyone should have a Pammy in their life 😘.
My Mom side is SO PROUD of you. My teacher side is EVEN MORE proud of you. I hope that does not sound condescending, it is in no way meant to be. I try to balance teaching my own offspring and students the need to "do hard things" that might end with results we do not want, then trying that again, with doing what we need to do to be safe mentally and physically. We do not talk about mental health enough in the US. When we try to have those conversations, people so often shut down, or feel like a failure for struggling, or feel like they should not burden anyone else with their truths. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for sharing all of this with such honesty. Thank you for having this conversation with a gazillion strangers on the internet. I love this channel because you are always blunt, honest, and truthful. (And you often make me crack up, too- not this time, as is appropriate). In seeing your lead up to the panic attack, I saw a lot of me. I pretend I am not having panic attacks and usually deflect. So a final HUGE thank you, as a flawed human trying her best, for the large mirror you help up to me and the work I still need to do with my own mental well being. The internet is a better place because you are on it, please know that.
I didn’t expect to be wiping tears out of my eyes at the end of a Miranda video… thank you so much for sharing all of yourself with us- we just respect you more! And Rainer, you’re a great friend…
I think this might be my favorite video of yours, Miranda. There is a seemingly unending stream of gear videos and how-to's. They're all valuable, but videos like this one are rare, and about things that most people don't talk about. Thank you for being open and compassionate enough to share this experience for others to gain some understanding of it and normalize having this conversation. Much love.
Me, too! Miranda being real and authentic!
Thank you for being this open and honest. Not many youtubers upload video's that aren't 'perfect'. Going out there and getting back early, is better then not going out at all. Living with mental health problems sucks. Especially when you can't see it from the outside. I hope how this trip ended doesn't discourage you in any way to get out there again. You are awesome Miranda.
Thank you! 💚 I hope people see this and realize that this, while disappointing, is normal and okay. You know I'll be back out soon!!
Knowing when to turn back might be more important than pushing on. I wish more ppl listened to their bodies. There'd be a lot less tragedies if they did. Too many UA-camrs push the bounds of safety and it bothers me. I look forward to your next adventure. Thanks for sharing 👍
Honestly, what an amazing person Rainer is. Awesome to have that excellent support!! Thanks for sharing this with us, Miranda ❤ I always appreciate the realness and authenticity we get from you guys.
I also love that Tucker seemed like he knew you needed a cuddle at the end 🥺
Wow! All these years I thought I must be the only one who gets nervous or depressed when I’m out in the backcountry and sunset is coming on. Thank you Miranda 😊and the viewers who described my feelings. I feel less like a failure now.
I appreciate that you called this listening to your body... mental health and physical health are one in the same, and I have found that treating mental health as you would a physical injury makes the most sense (for patience with yourself, for recognizing something needs to change, for learning how to avoid that injury or recover from another one in the future). Mad respect, Miranda
Thank you so much 💚 I think you are so right - we pay attention to physical health and injury so carefully on trail, so doing the same thing for our mental health makes total sense too. Thank you for sharing this!
The mountains are my church. My demons can't find me there.
But, in very rare occasions, amongst the peaks, the trees, the rivers, they do. And it jars me. In those very low points, I question everything.
To know that there are others - you Miranda, and so many others who have commented - whose experience is the same, suddenly justifies the one part of me that sometimes breaks and that I am unable to reconcile.
Thank you for putting yourself out there like this and thank you to so many members of this community who have done the same.
Excellent video Miranda - I love when UA-camrs show are truthful about their experiences. We live in such a fabricated world that everyone thinks every day is sunny and bright when we all have days when our brain is cloudy and overcast. I love the honesty!
Hi Miranda, I'm purposely not reading other comments here, but wanted to say something. I enjoy your channel, primarily because of your personality. We all present what we feel we should to others. This episode endears you more to me than any other. Being vulnerable is part of life. Sharing the vulnerable part of who you are with the entire world is rare and I appreciate that you dare to do so. Thanks, Miranda, if I never see another one of your episodes I'll know you are honest and courageous. And besides, any person who talks freely about pooping is AOK in my book. Hugs and take care.
I also stopped a hike due to a panic attack (aided in part from getting lost and horrible weather) sometimes despite knowing exactly what we should be doing it's healthier for us to look after ourselves in environments that are more familier. Thanks for this video, you were really articulate about your emotions.
I'm so sorry you went through this too, but thank you for sharing that! I agree - I can't say for certain that this *wouldn't* have happened in warm, easy conditions, but the winter and cold definitely made it worse. I'm glad I was in a spot where I could make this call.
Huge shout out for Rainier for being as helpful as possible, sometimes the cards just don’t play right for some reason. Get me out there with you guys next time we can make it a party!
This is probably one of the most important videos youve ever made. Thank you for your vulnerability and for showing something that many just dont talk about ❤
This is my favorite so far. Thank you for keeping things REAL. ((Hugs)) You just shifted me over from casual watcher to committed support.
I just saw this - thank you so, so much!! 🤗 that means so much to me.
You are an amazing young woman, and I really enjoy your videos on hiking and backpacking. I'm 60 and have lived with chronic depression my entire adult life. It is a part of who I am, but it is not an obstacle to who I am. All the best, keep making your very good videos, and keep on hiking!!
I LOVE this: depression is a part of you, but not an obstacle. I often tell people that I don't suffer from depression, I live with it - it makes it feel more in control and okay with it. Thank you for watching! ❤️
Yes! This. I live with depression and it does not define me, it is one of the challenges I have in my life.
I agree with all the comments about how important it is to talk about mental health, hiking your own hike, quit when you need to. Also how brave it is to show the world your dark place. It is so so brave.
I also want to point out that I love how Rainer reacts. That is also something that needs to be talked about, how to react when you see someone struggling. Thank you for keeping snippets of that in the video. It shows the utmost respect Miranda and Rainer have for each other.
Thank you Miranda for being real and showing every side of you❤ It means so so so much for me, another Miranda who struggles a ton with anxiety and depression. You are the biggest role model in my life. Thank you and take care❤️❤️ Life is just so extremely though.
Something I learned the hard way is that hard exercise can trigger panic attacks if you’re already in that “uh oh” anxiety zone. Pushing through it can make it SOOOO much worse.
So true! Every panic attack I've had, I experienced in the middle of exercise. My panic attacks were misdiagnosed as seasonal asthma. I love hearing other people's experiences because often it helps me understand mine better and not feel alone
Hi Miranda, thank you for sharing and Rainer thank you for being there for her.
I'm sorry you went through that, but I love that you made this video. The more awareness we bring to mental health struggles, the better. I grew up in the 90s when mental health was WAYY more stigmatized than it is now. So many times, if people admitted they struggled with mental health issues, they were made fun of, insulted, and sometimes even ostracized from their communities. For some reason it's as though we as a society have been conditioned to believe we're supposed to be robots without concern or emotion. I'm so glad more and more awareness is coming out about mental health struggles. Because we _are_ human. Mental health struggles _are_ real, and they _are_ valid - and no one is less worthy of acceptance or love because of those struggles. We are human, not robots. And I'm so glad there's been more awareness of that fact.
Thank you so much for having the courage to share the tough stuff. Thank you for not just showing the highlight reels. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being awesome.
When you said, “I don’t know what to do”, I felt that with my whole heart. I have been in that space and it is awful, especially when someone else is along. Thank you, Rainer for being so understanding and so supportive. Sending my love to you both 🥰.
Camping in those conditions would throw most people into an anxiety attack! I had a mild heart attack at age 49 and I've had issues with anxiety ever since, I just turned 60. You did the right thing. Stay safe.
As a retired mental health professional I want to say Thank You! When well known individuals admit to mental health issues it makes it OK for others to seek help. Great job!
Yes! And there’s still a lot of stigma surrounding mental health. There needs to be a lot more education & openness about it.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you. Yes, I understand.
Thanks for being transparent. Us with anxiety and depression appreciate you bringing mental health to the open. *Big hug*❤
Yeah... I can relate. I had Anxiety + altitude sickness on a trip in the summer and cut it short. Then cutting it short made the anxiety worse on the hike out. Love that you made this video! We have have our own things and it's nice see other, shows we are all human and that we are in it together! ❤
Ugh, that's awful! Altitude sickness on it's own is so bad, and I can totally see how choosing to cut the trip short would make all of that worse. I hear you and see you, and sending you so much love for future trips.
@@MirandaGoesOutside ❤
I can relate sooooo much! I suffered one of my (fortunately) rare panic attacks a couple of years ago on skitouring trip in the Alps. It was just the worst combination of different things - bad weather, us taking the wrong turn and ending up not where wanted to end up, being tired, altitude sickness starting to kick in and I was basically a newbie to the whole thing. Luckily my bf managed the whole situation like a pro and supported me incredibly. Also we got to meet the mountain rescue guys who were staying in the chalet where we were headed. :) Things can happen to anyone, any time. Hope your experience hasn't discouraged you from future hiking trips. ❤
@@adelamichalikova8682 Think Altitude sickness is like a force multiplayer. I live at altitude so I was like... I can't get altitude sickness at 11k Ft it's to low.... hahaha I was wrong. Turns out hiking for 10miles with a pack does no favors for your loughs
Thank you so much for showing others how common this is and a healthy way of dealing with it too. Please thank your pup for the helpful guidance at the end:)
Hi! Thanks for having the courage to share this. I hope it helped you and I’m sure it helped some viewers. Thanks also to Rainer for being so supportive and understanding. Maybe you told him what you need or maybe he just intuitively knows the best way to help, but it was good to see him helping (not just fixing). All the best to you both!
After years of working together and best-friend-ship, he is truly awesome at helping me through moments like this 💚
I'm so glad you filmed this, so glad you shared it all. Thank you for NOT faking it. I cried when you cried. Thank you for being so genuine to yourself and your viewers. Thank you for sharing. Canadians love you plenty, virtual hugs.
Good on rainer for being there with you. Dont have to push yourself if its not necessary. Youve been on alot of amazing adventures. But still you gotta take care of #1 "yourself "
He was really great through the whole thing 💚 It makes such a difference when you have someone there to simply say, "I want to do what is best for you."
I'm glad you got yourself out of a bad situation, and props to Rainer for being accepting that you needed to call it short.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that it’s okay when I don’t have all the answers and I don’t know how to move forward. It happens to everyone. Some hide it well, but everyone has doubts. Thank you for sharing, Miranda. This is part of your journey and your honesty is what I appreciate about you.
Thank you ❤️ ❤️
ive been feeling this very heavy, disorienting and dissociative energy recently. you are not alone in the struggles of depression. thank you for being vulnerable and authentic. i’m sorry that you had to feel this way!
And this is why we love this channel
Thank you for posting this very real look at mental health and the outdoors
I so appreciate your honesty, and I’m glad you listened to your intuition to do what was best for your health and safety. There a no shame in calling a hike, and I’m glad you have a friend like Rainer who is there for you.
I know exactly how you feel. ❤ Anxiety and depression sucks because people cannot see on the outside how devastating it is. Thank you for making me feel seen the way I see you.
Oh I know panic attacks. You’re brave and selfless to share it. Thank you for being you. We love you kiddo. You keep being awesome and educating us. You’re a joy to watch.
Whoah! Just realised - that time when I stopped in a middle of a hike and asked myself «why am I here?» and didn’t manage to go on, I wasn’t being lazy!
I have pushed it down as a failed trip, when me turning around was actually me listening to myself saying «hey - go home and rest!»
Thanks, Miranda!
I am a casual watcher of your channel, but I have mad respect for you for sharing this experience. I remember being in the boundary waters many years ago with a friend and having a panic attack the first night. Your video makes it real, and makes the rest of us feel okay if we don't have a picture-perfect outing every time. Thanks so much for sharing and wishing you the best on your next winter outing!
Support from the East Coast! Thank you for making this video Miranda. It speaks volumes about your character and your care for others.
Thank you - I hope it resonates with other folks going through something similar 💚
Good job Miranda and Rainer. Thank you both for your authenticity and courage.
I’m so glad you shared this video! It’s so important to listen to your body and not feel like you have to “fake it” in the name of making content! You are amazing and thank you for keeping it real❤
Thank you so much! 💚 After the fact, I was like, "I never fake it for any other videos, why would I start now" but in the moment I definitely thought I could just push through and pretend.
Thank you for sharing your raw emotions. I suffer major depression, anxiety and panic attacks too and this really helped me realise that I'm not alone in my mental health issues and I'm not an oddball. Thank you Miranda.
Thank you for sharing and not keeping silent!❤ Thank you for taking care of you!
Thank you for addressing mental health issues in a personal way. We are so over the stigma around them. Your story resonated with me, and I am sure, with lots of us.
Thank you so much Miranda for sharing even your most challenging and difficult times. That's real life. And by doing that, I think that you just affirmed and validated so many other people's feelings and experiences. It is so okay to make decisions like the one you did. Thank you for being honest because you are not alone. You have my utmost respect. Happy trails.
It’s amazing how beautifully you handled this. It’s totally okay to have anxiety and depression. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to leave. I wish more people (my past self included) knew this! I think it’s so rad that you were able to listen to your body and recognize what was happening. Thank you for sharing this and spreading awareness!
Miranda I love every video you give us! Thank you so so much for being human, trusting yourself and being vulnerable. (Vulnerability isn't about winning or losing, its about showing up even if you can't control the outcome)
I look forward to your videos every week and it isn't about the content, it's about you! You are a ray of light for us (your viewers) and we will support you through your journeys (whether they are over figurative mountains or the real ones with beautiful views)
Also your production crew is amazing to trust and love you unconditionally❤
Been there. There have been times I don't even make it to camp and just turn around and drive home. Always appreciate your realness Miranda and, in this case, helping to make mental health less of a taboo topic of conversation.
❤
❤️❤️❤️ you're the best
@MirandaGoesOutside Great Job identifying your triggers and staying aware of how your emotions are being affected. Even though you didn’t plan it, You showed exactly how you should execute a risk evaluation.
Many people forget about the human end of risk analysis and the bottom line is if it doesn’t feel right it isn’t right and getting out of that situation is a good call. Thanks for sharing…I relate with what you went through. I am glad Rainer was there to balance you both. @RainerGolden, great job helping Miranda you are the hero of this story.
I wish everyone had a you in their lives, Rainer. You're one in a million.
thank you so much for sharing this. as a hiker and backpacker with an anxiety disorder, seeing you not only talk openly about how you managed this situation but seeing you make the call to go home is so powerful to me.
I am glad Rainer was there to give you a hug. Sometimes words are not what is needed. Just having someone there for support and a simple hug can allow you to release that anxiety and emotions.
Thank you for sharing this aspect of your life.
Thank you Miranda for being so transparent. I suffer from severe treatment resistant depression & anxiety. Camping & being outdoors is the only thing that keeps me together but sometimes, despite my best laid plans, it's too much. Its just the way it is & that's ok. Acceptance is 9/10ths of the battle & then comes the self care. One step & one day at a time. Love ya!
Panick attacks are scary, I started having them about a year ago. I HATE it, such a helpless feeling. I've had to stop doing a lot of things I love because of not wanting to look weak amd embarrass myself in front of people.
I feel that SO much. While of course everyone is different, and you should definitely do what is best for you, I've found that doing the things I love help me feel strong in the face of panic attacks. There is strength in knowing your boundaries, strength in doing the hard stuff, and strength in taking rest. I hope you find a way to do the things you love again 💚
You were absolutely right to go home. If you weren't able to enjoy it, it just isn't worth it. I have suffered with anxiety and depression my whole life and yeah, it sucks, but it also teaches me about what's important. You're mental health is so important, and as a watcher of your channel, I would rather you were happy and healthy! Thank you for sharing.
You and Rainer’s friendship is absolutely priceless! Thank you for sharing the good the bad and the ugly with us! Hugs to you!
This is by far, one of your BEST videos yet! Thank you for being brave enough to share your emotions with us. I've had some backpacking trips too bad for me mentally, and what helped me get through them were supportive hiking friends. You're very blessed to have Rainer by your side during these outdoor adventures because they don't always go as planned. I know, firsthand, the disappointing feeling of having to pack everything and hike out with headlamps; but finding the joy in that makes the journey back to the truck a bit more positive. Keep up the great work Miranda!
It’s people like you Miranda who are willing to put themselves out there that help lessen the stigma of mental health issues. Also having a wonderful understanding friend like Rainer is such an amazing treasure. No one knows what it’s like until you have experienced it and it’s not something you want anyone to experience. You will do it again when the time is right, we have no doubt. Big hugs 🤗
I am so happy that you shared this with us, Miranda. Sometimes I feel when I watch you and other backpackers that I'm failing because I don't always have a good time every time I go out camping or hiking. I have panic attacks and anxiety as well. Usually camping and being in nature helps me with that. Sometimes it doesn't though. It's nice to know that even the professionals struggle with things like that too. You're awesome.
Thank you Rainer for treating Miranda's panic attack with care and keeping it non-judgmental. Part of panic and anxiety is worrying about how other people with perceive us.
Thank you for sharing this. Not only the mental health acceptance, but that any number of things can go sideways and we can live through it. Sometimes changing our plans is the best decision. Take care
This is your show gosh darn! You do you! Rainer, is a great friend to you. I'm glad he was able to chill things out the first time, and then be ready to pack up and bounce when the time was right. I'm so glad you didn't randomly cut the video. I have felt this way on my motorcycle trips before, but had to push through due to time restraints, or reservations. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this. All of it. I hope it helps someone else take care of themselves. We love your videos, but know that we want you to be happy too. So glad you made the call for your own health. Hugs.
As someone who has never had these conditions, it is hard to understand what people who do go through. I can empathize and sympathize but never fully grasp the effect it has. I do think it is important that someone like you make these authentic videos to help the rest of us to get a better understanding.
I used to experience severe panic attacks. It really sucks but it’s not the end of the world. They have medications that can nuke most people’s symptoms
It's just the way your brain reacts sometimes. For me the first time it happened it was while driving after a couple of bad nights sleep and long distance driving several days a week. Hasn't happened since, but I will say this, after it happens once, you just feel it coming way ahead in other situations. In general for me it is when I am tired and/or cold (like way out in the middle of nowhere and cold). It's a bit like you feel you're not in control, like it is a constant danger (not being very close to a place where you can feel safe or relax, and you really need that place at that exact moment). It starts slow (like occasional very short panic) and builds up. Whenever I feel this, I am always like okay I'll head back. No point in aggravating the situation. There is no logic in it, logic will not help. What helps is you returning to a point where you feel relaxed and safe.
It’s generous of you to want to understand. 👍
Almost everyone, if not everyone, has their limits tested and experiences something like a panic attack. Few people are bold enough to admit it, and even fewer are brave enough to show others a video of them having a panic attack. I, for one, am not that brave.
I think it's really important for so many people to understand they are not alone in feeling like this. Sharing this is very important.
Thank you for being so brave and open.
It' also great to show an experienced youtuber clearly knowing their limits and exercising self-care over show-personship.
You are AWESOME. Thank you again!
Miranda, I’ve been watching your videos for a couple years and rarely comment but I wanted to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your openness and honesty and vulnerability with this video. I also struggle with multiple mental health issues including depression and anxiety and this video resonated SO much with me. And it reminds me that I am very much not alone in my experiences. So thank you so much for sharing this with all of us!! ❤
Thank you for being authentic and honest. Around the 17 minute mark, I just wanted to give you a hug!! I have basically the same conditions you do. I had a horrible panic attack in Costa Rica surrounded by incredibly beauty. I've felt pretty embarrassed about it, but this video helped me understand I have nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you!
I’m in healthcare, and a hiker. Thank you for helping to normalize what living with anxiety can bring. Hiking helped me crawl out of a deep anxious hole…. But can also challenge me, and so many. Thank you for being real .
You’ve gained a lifelong follower
Thank you Miranda for your honesty. Your audience appreciates all that you do. We all have our highs and lows. Wish I was there to give you a big hug.
I had a mentally challenging trip 2 years ago and initially decided to push through. Contrary to what our culture suggests, I, as a "grown man" was at the brink of crying for 1.5 days alone in the woods. At the end of the second day I was mentally so exhausted, that I was happy that I injured my knee and had a different reason to pack up and come home 3 days early. I just wasn't mature enough to make the same step and decide to go home just because of my mental state and it was a great lesson that I'll remember.
It's difficult watching you suffer but it's a really important video to make and for us, the viewers, to watch. Thank you for always being so open about everything, not just mental health, but any topics others tend to avoid (poop included). I love your content especially because you don't sugarcoat anything and give us the plain reality, with all of its ups and downs.
Thank you. I am also afraid of having a panic attack out there and being a people pleaser I might not have the courage to have made your choice. This helps even in a small way. Love that you’re keeping it real.
Nothing I love more than honesty. You are not the first backpacker I've seen "fess up". Takes guts! And, it's important for all of us to better understand ourselves and others. Rainer helped with his words of comfort. You helped by explaining what was happening to you and how to best resolve it - and allow that it was okay. Three cheers to the brave!!! You guys rock! It's your show gosh darn!!!
You're good people, and clearly surrounded by good people. The snow will be there for you when you're ready to give it another shot and we'll be here waiting to see it!
As a person with a generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis and probably some other undiagnosed issues this has got to be one of the most validating things I've seen. Shoutout to Rainer for his support, I am a bit jealous of that.
Thank you for sharing this video. Mental illness isn't a joke and being miserable with a stiff upper lip is not going to make a trip better. You made the right call - don't make a fake video. You had Ranier there to support you. I'm glad you're okay.
I'll see you next time outside.❤
The strongest people I know all have the same things in common. They know their limitations. When they get overwhelmed, they assess the situation. And if they decide to call it, then they call ir. "Not today, boys!" is one of the most powerful and self-affirming staments you will ever say. It is a sign of strength, Miranda, ...not weakness. I know a thing or two about percerverence. And you perservered. You made the right decision toward the correst goal and went forrward with it. You are stronger than you think. Trust yourself. We all love you.
Our mental health matters, and listening to our body includes our brain! Sometimes you can't explain away a feeling, even if you know rationally that you are okay and safe. I'm proud of you for listening to yourself, trusting yourself, and giving yourself what you needed in that moment. Also, it helps to have supportive people around you like Rainer (shoutout, you were so supportive) that help you navigate through those feelings and are willing to pivot in the moment. Sending all the love!! Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable, but real and honest trip.
I think the last scene says it all, don't you wish we could all be the people our dogs think we are ? Thanks for being real, and making it OK to know when to say it's time to call it, and be safe.
One of the reasons why I love your content is because of how raw and real you are. Thank you for sharing this deeply emotional journey. Sometimes our emotions and our anxieties defeat us but it’s through love and beauty (which can be found in so many things, as you know) is what help us trek on and keep going, on moving forward. Always remember, you are never alone Miranda! ❤❤
Thanks for being so open. Also, shout out to Rainer for being what you needed in that moment. My wife struggles with anxiety and it’s taken a lot of trial and error to learn how to respond to her panic attacks. I love seeing that you have that with a friend. I also need to shout out Tucker at the end there. Dogs just get it. We don’t deserve dogs
you sound like a really supportive hubby/spouse
Simplly to say. Thank you for openly sharing what hardly anyone discusses. This content is so helpful to so many. Best to you both & viewing audience.
The minute you weren’t seeing the site your brain was hoping for you could feel the energy shift. Such a tender moment with Rainer. You could tell he certainly knows you and cares about you.
Appreciate your honesty and openness. Sharing our struggles and successes with mental health helps others. ❤
Thank you for posting this video. As a 51 year old man, who has learned more than I ever wanted to about mental health in the last several years, including my own unexpected experiences with panic attacks, I really appreciate you posting this. There are times in our lives when we have to decide if it's best to "fake it" or pack it in, and fight another day. There is peace and wisdom in making the best choice.
Thank you for sharing this Miranda.
I am so glad you shared this! I have suffered with anxiety and depression my whole life. I was only diagnosed and began treatment 3 years ago! I have been where you were in this video many times and did not realize what was happening. I thought I was weak. If only one person realizes that they can get help from your video it will be worth it. You are brave and kindhearted! Keep up the great work we all appreciate your openness and wonderful personality!
Happy you felt comfortable sharing that story. It takes strength to know when to push through and just as much to know when to call it.