In the olden days only rich women had a "tradwife" life. Regular women worked and their daughters often kept up the home. Some were middle class. Some were dirt poor. But to these young women who are saying they are going back to their roots some will need to live in a shack and endure a lot of misery. That is their roots.
I think a lot of us are aware of that and already living that. My house is a small shack and I don't make enough at my job to upgrade but I work with what I have. I used to live in a house with skylights and garden tub on 5 acres and now I'm in a hood with drug addicts walking around. I don't know if other women struggle with that but I've gotten to a point where I choose poverty over men and just accept it. Plus there's a lot of women who are insanely savvy and will do a lot better than me, they'll goto college and start a business and do great. But if society gets to a point where most women are in poverty, I don't think theyll gravel at mens feet. I think men truly hope for that though. I've embraced poverty and going to work because it's a lesser form of torture than mental torture. Mentally I'm good because my emotions are no longer being controlled by somebody and i can heal from abuse, life is just rougher. Happy and poor is what I vote for
thats because they dont understand the concept of actually having paid leave to be with a baby for year or two and then start working again. most of them end up being replaced with a younger model and then they learn.
I was forced to giveup my job and be a trad wife to take care of our disabled child. In turn, husband got us family insurance, put me nominee to his assets and we started a pension fund in my name that he pays into. I have my own account he pays a monthly sum into. He doesnot ask me how i spend it. I stash every penny. But honestly im grateful he's protected me financially.
The way some men think they are entitled to women's labor and when the marriage ends, they get nothing, while men had the free labor of a stay-at-home mom who literally risked her life to birth their children...is very telling.
This is exactly the problem with this kind of narrative. Women already risk their mental and physical health by having babies. That cannot be avoided, but demanding women also give up any and all financial security is wild. Men are not held to the same standard. They can spend years building up their careers and no one thinks anything of it, but as soon as a woman decides to make sure she's financially secure, she's all of a sudden a feminist man hating harpy or a gold digger.
The way some women think they are entitled to a mans labor when the marriage ends, they get screwed by the courts via the house, support, gov assist, trauma, drama, etc. While the woman had an unlimited atm who took years of emotional verbal abuse to please a woman who doesn't respect him and plans to leave him. It's very telling.... See how stupid and sexist this sounds
It’s also corn/fetish inspiration for women. The amount of women who I’ve read comment sexual things on Estee William’s channel about how they’re going to please their husband (this is the g version of it) is disgusting.
My mum worked in a woman’s shelter. Women who were financially dependent on their husbands are disproportionately represented here. They have nothing if the man leaves and that can lead to abuse.
@@zero1188There’s a number of reasons for that. If the couple doesn’t have a lot of assets or savings, her half wont amount too much. If the husband is financially abusive and has taken the money to spend or hide, again there won’t be much. If she doesn’t have access to bank accounts she won’t be able to get any of the money until the divorce. Divorces take months at minimum but sometimes even go for years. The forms to file for it cost money which might prevent someone from filing quickly.
@@zero1188a lot of abusive men are also in tons of debt, so there aren’t any assets, or they hide their assets so it looks like there isn’t anything to divide.
@zero1188 because if they already are in a dependency it's difficult to leave and GET A DIVORCE. So they have to leave and risk everything before they "option" of divorce even appears
I've ended up learning a fair amount traditional British and Dutch cheese making. It used to be the farmers wives who would spend their time making cheese to sell for family income. They'd spend hours a day working on the batches and turning that days milk into cheese. Women have always worked, even land owning women. Anyone below gentry worked. They made cheese, they sewed, did laundry, rented out spare bedrooms doing the cleaning and cooking for borders. If they were really traditional wives of working men they'd be earning money in some way everyday even part time
THANK YOU. I can’t stand all these people thinking pure SAHM was the norm throughout history. 🤦♀️ Nor these ladies forgetting that equal rights is the only reason they have a voice or a CHOICE how to lead their life.
@@FringePrincessright? And how they depicted trad wives are so unreal, wraring pretty dresses and cook? Hah!!! Those only probable if their husband provide the money to buy dress ,make up ,detergent , and enough grocery expenses, ehat about children schoolfee? 😂 They're delulu. That all too if their husband can provide roof with kitchen 😂 instead of just some small apartment with minimal kitchen and space storage.
I don't have any problems with this lifestyle, each to their own. What concerns me is, that they usuallyhave no plan b. And life happens and some day the very christian husband can leave for a teenage escort and the trad wife suddenly discovers everything they have, belongs to him and she cannot even afford a good divorce lawyer.
Even if he does stay…. He doesn’t cheat… he could lose his job. If he loses his job all the mental stress and financial load is going to be placed on her.
@@purevenus6359 exactly, the stay at home uneducated impossible to employ wife lifestyle just isn't compatible with an uncertain and unstable economic reality. Like it's a luxury, not a entitlement.
@@arcanineryu I wouldn’t even say it’s a luxury because most women who live this way end up admitting they are bored and miserable. It’s the reality that men don’t value women who stay in the home all day and don’t contribute financially, and it can be isolating only being in the home with children. I’d say it’s a luxury when your home is an empty nest and you can actually enjoy the luxury. Too many trad-moms with kids complain online for me to seriously think it’s anything but unpaid labor with no benefits.
As long as she prefrom well as a housewife and he is in the mood tought ,all It takes IS a bad day at work, one day the dinner is not ready on time,or the house isn't spotless for this kind of men to start using their money as a weapon to control their wifes if they don't do as they said.
@@imitationporcelain I say this and people think I’m lying. I literally saw my dad do this to my mom and thought it was sickening. Men love telling women that they’ll pay for them just to use the “well it’s my money” card on you. Why women keep falling for it is beyond me.
If you're a tradwife and your husband dies, or leaves you, and either of those happenings will financially leave you with little to nothing, then you have nothing to brag about. You're in a danger zone. Depending on someone for your food, shelter, and livelihood is dangerous territory.
When beauty fades and youth dwindles men tend to wander. ESPECIALLY when you're in the vulnerable position where no matter what he does you can't leave him because you're dependent. It's easy to bully and disrespect someone when there's literally nothing they can do about it
Ironic how the same people using thw "if he leaves you excuse" when you're the ones who leave. Women leave men more. If the excuse "because my s/o might leave me" then via stats alone men should be more worried
Agreed! I think a lot of them think that being "traditional" means that they get their sweet, submissive lil wife. But the number one thing that needs to be realized is that submission (TRUE submission) does not and cannot happen without safety and trust. They MUST display a life that's well put together in every way imaginable, including emotional stability. (Spoiler alert: If they had that, they probably wouldn't be leaving rude comments about women on social media!) :)
One of the things that pisses me off about this tradwide movement is that not all women can afford to do it, but some will think it's the only right way to live, so they will take on alllll the responsibilities of a tradwife, but still work a job because they can't afford NOT to, so they'll perpetually be worked to the bone AND feel guilty about not "being there" for their kids like they "should" be. That is LITERAL hell.
Well the way I see it is it's a choice. You can work and do boss babe life or choose to be with a man that can support you. There are no tradwivws that tradwife with a poor man bc they would sink. However giving all your time away and never being able to support yourself is absolutely setting yourself up for possible failure down the road. If you have never worked and your hubby died or gets disabled how will you live? @@mudandglitter1609
@@mudandglitter1609It is not correct. I am a Trad Wife and what makes it work is that we don’t live large. So many of you keep toys like ATV’s Motorcycles, and so much you can’t afford or need that you rent storage lockers-all bought with credit cards that charge 22% interest. Just be frugal and don’t piss your money away.
@carolynlucca3269 so many of who? Who are you referring to with this statement? Also, I'm truly glad that your life works for you. I don't know what you are looking for with this comment. No one mentioned expensive toys or fancy houses. The OP said the woman can not afford not to. Meaning, basic necessities need to be paid for.
You have an incredibly skewed and incorrect perception of what average, working class people spend their money and time on. Stop listening to conservative rhetoric that says people can't afford housing because of avocado toast. Do you have any concept of how financially privileged you have to be, to be capable of supporting a family on a single income if you just didn't have *multiple recreational vehicles*?? What effing world do you live in? @@carolynlucca3269
The term "traditional wife" isn't even correct. The lifestyle they're all stumping for is "rich wife", not trad wife. Back in the day, if you weren't rich, then you worked. Women would help on the farm. They'd be the ones to go into town to sell what was harvested. They'd often do things like book keeping, accounting, HR, marketing, etc. for their husbands' businesses. The Leave It to Beaver crap was very rare. Women have worked their backsides off since the beginning of time. This trad wife trend is a farce. Hell, these women on Tick Tock aren't even real trad wives. They're running a business. They create, edit, and distribute content. They make money. They have sponsors. They're bringing outside income into the household. They are not at all the definition of traditional wife they are attempting to imply they are. And the sad thing is, there are people dumb enough to fall for their ridiculousness and get themselves into a situation that is dangerous and detrimental for themselves that these influencers are smart enough to avoid by ensuring they have their own stream of income and financial security.
That's my issue completely. The trad wife is just working for free basically. Because she (and her husband) see it as a duty or a calling or a "lifestyle" as it's marketed. No, it's work to stay at home and take care of house and family. Not to mention that she's expected to work 24/7. Him paying bills is below the bare minimum.
Yeah, but rich women in the past didn’t cook, clean or raise the kids. These women are just frauds making money on social media and pretending not to work.
They want slaves, not employees. Full-time employees at least get paychecks, side benefits, 401K/pensions, marketable experience and skills for the next position,... Housing and paying the bills is just the cost of running the "business". That's her "office", where she works 24/7. Employees don't pay for the lease/mortgage and utilities of their place of work.
An employer also will Fire u and you'll garunteed nothing. A employer doesn't care about you at all. With a husband he's at least supposed to love you and your kids love you. You're bills are paid.
I was a teenager in 1974 when laws changed that allowed women to handle their own financial affairs. Until then women couldn't open their own bank accounts or get credit without a man's signature. I argue that the trad wife thing was forced on many women back in the day. Many were forced/shamed into marrying in order to have someone to take care of them. Many felt forced to submit and endure anything that their husbands did. If their husbands left them, those nasty men weren't considered horrible but she was blamed because she couldn't keep her husband happy. I remember a few months ago seeing many posts asking why marriages today didn't last as long as their grandparents. The divorce rates increased soon after women were able to handle their own financial affairs and didn't have to tolerate horrible behavior from their husbands. Make sure you get a man that actually likes women. Make sure you have skills where you can survive alone before you get with these men. You will be really glad you did.
People literally forgetting that the term "cottage industry" exists because now the word "cottage" is synonymous with the soft life rather than just... a smaller than usual house. 🤨
Naw, I’m pretty sure that phrase has been around for a while. People used to make a lot of extra side cash making cheese, straw hats, and selling flowers that they grew at home. Women were often the ones who ran these businesses from their “cottages.”
I truly dont understand this "tradition" fantasy. My mother worked, my grandmother's worked and most of my great grandmother's worked. The only one who didn't was my grandmother's mother who got married at 15 and had 12 children, when her husand died the whole family was screwed. My grandmother's mom didnt know how to do anything except look after kids, my grandmother had to drop out of college to take over her father's shop and became the "man" of the house. Women working is in line with the family tradition.
The same thing happened to my great grandma at 13 and my grandpa had to start working at 9. These people are delusional if they think gambling with their future is what’s best for their kids.
My grandmother never worked when she lived in my country. The difference is that she came from a country where there was no property tax and houses were extremely cheap in my country, 700 dollars in the 60s. The children shared 2 rooms for 10 children. It was extremely cheap and it was very easy to build in my country, people only ate at home, my grandmother made clothes by hand for her children, they went to public school and in my country there were almost none of the services that you pay for like internet or cable. It was really cheap that's why my grandparents had 12 children. When they moved to the United States and their children were already adults, she did start working, life here is very expensive.
I was married to military for 21 years. 3 kids. We agreed that I should stay home and every six months or so I was told I was not contributing and should get a job. I'd go get a job, had to walk to work or take the bus while he drove the car. I had to pay for child care, so I ultimately brought home half my pay. 3 to 4 months later I would hear that I was neglecting and not taking proper care of the children or the home (while I still did everything with the kids and all the chores needed to be done in the home). I would get beaten down and leave the job and 3 to six months later it would start again. Sadly, when I divorced him 21 yrs later he was able to prove that I couldn't keep a job and the judge deemed me unworthy to be provided with anything. 21 yrs and out on my ass. He's now on wife number 5 (I was number 1 and he's only 55)
I am so sorry that this happened to you! What a horrible "man"! The judge did not take into account your value as a SAHM. Shame on him! I hope that things are better for you now!
If having a career is so elevated above child rearing, why does my successful single sister regularly get shamed for not having kids, while I don't catch any flack for my crappy career and SAHM lifestyle? Literally no one has asked, when I'm going back to work or why don't I make more money. I find this content so hard to watch knowing the abuse that so many people endure as a result of this lifestyle
They never want to address the abuse or what happens to tradwives later in life. Many find out their husbands don’t have any savings for them or that they aren’t even on his will. It’s a risky lifestyle and women need to wake up. I saw my mom go through hell, and she still tells me it’s ok to rely on a man. Smh.
Because only men are supposed to benefit from working and earning and women aren’t supposed to (we ARE, we get to choose! Support your sister and tell her to not listen to others, she sounds like she is rocking it! As are you with your family! True feminism to me is getting to choose your own path freely)
That first woman holding the baby sounds like she's describing being a child or a pet. "He takes us on adventures and gives us food!" And thanks to feminism , we don't HAVE to get married. It's a fine choice, but it needs to b just that -- a CHOICE. And frankly I like being able to have my own bank account and credit card and house. I like the idea that i won't have to *rely* on a man to take care of me. Plus that sounds like mad pressure on the man! What if something happens to him , not even divorce? Nah. You gotta always look out for yourself too.
For a long while, I didn’t understand the big deal with trad wife content. I just kept thinking, “who cares? It’s obviously all fake anyways.” And I hated my job at the time so I’d think, “well damn I’d love to stay home and just clean all day. I’m tired of never being home” so in some ways I was envious. And it’s hard to imagine my husband leaving me. We have a great relationship and he’s fiercely loyal. Yes, I believe anything can happen but that argument was hard for me to accept because my husband and I have worked hard to build a stable relationship. What stopped me dead in my tracks was hearing that Andrew dude’s wife (from the Whatever podcast) say that they don’t encourage their daughters to go to college, seek higher education, and / or careers. She was saying, “yeah they have little jobs now to have something to do but that’s just until they can find husbands, stay home, and have kids.” That terrified me. I’m a very smart person and I cannot imagine having parents that didn’t push me to use my amazing brain and find something to do that I’m good at and that I love. And my parents are Christians who uphold traditional gender roles at home! But my mom is incredibly intelligent, put herself through law school, had her own law firm, and is now a teacher. All of that as an immigrant / black woman born in the 1960’s, ending up in the USA. She spoke no English when she came to this country. My dad always supported her and always talks about how brilliant she is. My husband is from a patriarchal society (not USA) but he’s like my dad. He knows I’m smart and he really wants me to work (also he loves money and financial security lol). But he wants me to work so I feel strong and can sleep better, knowing I put in a hard day of work. He’s always been incredibly supportive of my endeavors. He always asks for my opinion and helped me believe that what I have to say is valuable. And also, what if he dies? I started to thank God that I have a strong education and a master’s degree. Hearing Andrew’s wife say that is one reason that I decided to go back to school and finish the PhD that I started. I want to continue to contribute to my retirement accounts and pay off our house. Because if my husband dies, I want to be covered and not have to worry about not having money. I really don’t think he’d ever leave me and I don’t plan on leaving him (anything’s possible but I’m talking in generalities) but if he dies first, I will never marry another man. I don’t want to be forced to consider marriage just for the financial benefit of splitting the mortgage payment! I’d want to live alone in our beautiful home with a bunch of dogs surrounded by pictures of my husband. And I don’t even care about how creepy that sounds 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This! All those trad people acting like we are against the idea of a happy marriage. But I see this with my parents. She is a SAHM since my birth (I'm f28) and my dad worked self-employed to support us (6person household). Now that he's getting sick more often I had to sit my brothers down to talk about supporting our parents financially because if ever something happens to him, my mum wouldn't be able to provide for herself. It's less about you not trusting your partner but having a plan B. Especially today when we as women have so many possibilities because women in the last 100 years worked so hard for it, I dont want to get married because I NEED a man to be provided but because I WANT him as a person... which I always thought would be better for a honest man, too.
I'm sick of men acting like them working is the hardest thing ever. Most men are not doing hard labor jobs ...slack off ...sleep at work .... phone it in.
Working at a blue collar job with many many married men, this is true. Only a small percent do an honest days work. It’s an escape from their life at home and the best part is is that this is the “excuse” they use when they talk about “how much work they do to provide for this house”. Men want a free maid they can control and breed with.
I have a full time job now. It is really not that hard. And I have nobody at home who washes my clothes and cooks healthy meals for me. Men just pretend how hard it is. I even suspect that some of them do overtime just to avoid taking care of their own children.
Even if the woman was viewed as an employee there's such a thing as opportunity costs, which men know full well is a thing and they expect to be compensated for at work.
Your "paycheck" is called bills paid, cad not paid, Hair paid, groceries paid, insurance paid, house paid, kids paid, shopping paid, jewelry paid, trips paid, etc. If women are equal to men then we get the same at the end
@@virginiavallek1654Opportunity costs level the playing field somewhat in determining the outcome of a divorce with a working husband and a stay at home wife. A stay at home wife adds to the upward mobility of a working husband. Does she entertain his work associates and boss? Does her presence with taking care of the house and the children allow him to pursue a college degree or continuing education in his profession? These are intangible things that have monetary value beyond the "paycheck," depending on the laws in your state, and are taken into account when compensating the wife in the final divorce decree.
If men are true providers I am for it. However you still must have your own money! You never know the future. He could change, flip out, or even have health issues. Its better yo be safe than sorry.
I just found out yesterday that my trad brother-in-law is separated from his wife. He became disabled a year ago and the relationship wasnt built for his wife to be the provider ...trad relationship isn't built for reality....oh, they have 6 kids.
"Being taken care of" can disappear in a moment. Not just bitter divorce, medical emergencies. It is VERY difficult to reenter the workforce after years of being the CEO of Family Planning (or something like that) within the home. SAHM's are very lucky to be able to do so. I was not as lucky, I worked FT, but did so in a way that I was still able to be with my children all day. It's not easy, but it's possible.
He cares about your emotional wellbeing but can't help out when he gets home? (Despite childcare/housekeepung being recognized as a form of employment outside of the context of being a SAHM). If you don' get to lift your legs and relax at the end of the day, then why should he?
Exactly. SAHM is work and expecting her to work 24/7?? Nah. When he gets home they should take the same responsibility for their home and kids. Imo. There's a pretty cool SAHM on yt who describes what she does as "domestic engineering". She sets her own goals and schedule, when her husband is home they split whatever needs done and she's always off on weekends.
I’m currently in this reality and my trad wife marriage only lasted 3 months 😂 I have to wait 6 more before I can apply on no grounds for divorce. It’s a nightmare being a trad wife. The men provide but the mental abuse is INSANE! You end up with severe mental health issues.
You fell for the trap. I don’t know why women think they are special being a trad wife. You’re essentially a free maid, sex toy, therapist, etc. you’re a side character in his life. You’re not his equal partner. Just because he pays bills etc.
I was raised by a super conservative Christian anti-feminist trad-wife SAHM. And I knew I didn't want to be like her. I saw how her strong independent personality was squashed by strict gender roles and the church. I saw how much our family struggled financially. I saw how much she struggled to be the perfect trad wife while also wanting to be her own independent person. She and my dad found their equilibrium eventually and didn't divorce, but I don't regret not taking that path.
Same. I grew up surrounded by trad wives, neighbors, relatives, etc. They were all miserable. They were starved and beaten, completely unable to make a decision to change their lives. I saw the nightmares, why would I want that.
I’m a feminist. That means I want women to have autonomy. The autonomy to make their own choice to get an education and have a career with or without marriage/children. The autonomy to stay home and live traditional roles if THEY choose that. Feminism is about female autonomy, not forcing women into roles, that is patriarchy.
Im 24 and married. People ALWAYS assumed I would fall in the traditional lifestyle due to me marrying someone a little older and us getting married after 1.5 years of dating. We are both working full time, have separate accounts, split bills 70/30, go out, etc. Having children terrifies the both of us and dont want them. People are mad either way, but we want us to be financially secure and happy. That's more important than making a decision that will impact us for the worst.
You do you no matter how others react. I’m 53 and never had that desire to be a parent. To have someone I was completely in charge of keeping alive and happy and turn into a productive adult. It did not sound fun to me. And it doesn’t just end when they turn 18. You’re a parent for life. And I noticed people with children seemed more stressed and not even close to being as happy as they were before having kids. My sister on the other hand wanted kids since she was still a baby herself. She enjoys it but she’s stressed so often. She has 2 dogs now and she’s joked maybe she should of just had dogs. When I was younger it was just assumed “wait until you have kids” and around age 12 I realized I didn’t have too! I was told I’d change my mind. I didn’t. I don’t know why people care so much? And I watched people have kids who did so because it was “just the next step” after getting married as we’ve been told by tv shows, movies, parents, friends, it was just everywhere. I now have childless friends and none of us regret it. At all. And the worst thing is when people said to me”whose going to care for you when your older?” Which is just crazy and incredibly selfish to expect that from your kids. They didn’t ask to be born and it’s not “returning the favor.” It can be dangerous physically for the child and older parent, it’s like having an adult baby. Plus your kids may live across the country by then with their own family. Or unfortunately many kids had/have trauma their dealing with from having parents who should not have had kids. My mom worked in palliative care as a nurse for years and knows how hard it is on your body, the stress it causes relationships, other siblings who don’t do their part, the guilt trips. It’s getting normalized now finally to not have them. Why others gaf is so strange to me. Plus it’s fun being an aunt or uncle or volunteering to work with kids missing a mom or dad and helping like a Big Sister/Brother. And you’re not selfish. I’ve seen selfish parents wanting little combined carbon copies of themselves, pushing their kids to fill the dreams the parents had as kids. My cats and dogs over the years bring me incredible joy, great company, love, and laughter. Raising another self sufficient healthy happy person is the hardest job in the world. And the number of couples who don’t even talk about it before marrying is frightening. And if you love kids I always thought it would be good to care for a niece/nephew/close friends child for at least a week. And the parents can maybe take a vacation? Vasectomies have great reversal percentages as well! Live your lives how you want and be clear with the intruders on your personal lives it’s none of their business. It’s the most personal question ever. Wtf?❤
Same. I’m from an area where women who stay home are often abused and left with nothing. Promoting a lifestyle that advocates for women to be below men is the key red flag here. They never wanna address that or use pretty words to make it seem less bad.
The woman who said it's fetish content was on point. I know SAHMs (older than the current trend) who 10-15 years ago were all about the crafting, farmers markets, wearing head coverings, homeschooling, humble bragging about that via the popular social media of the time, et cetera. One woman, her husband got a degenerative disease and he could no longer work. Another, her husband died of cancer. More than one had a marriage that broke up because the man got weird/abusive, or cheated. They all were left scrambling to find jobs to support their families- and the jobs they managed to find didn't pay well. These are college educated women too.
The trad wife life is not for me. I'm of thr mindset that if you give someone the power to feed you, you're also giving them the power to starve you. A man is not a plan for me. Yes, I'm married, but if anything happens, I'll be fine.
Yep. That was the only point where I did not agree with the employee analogy. Because if they see women as employees they would pay them. And no, food and shelter is not payment. That is what indentured servants and slaves got.
The "pay" you're asking for is food paid, bills paid, jewelry paid, shopping paid, cars paid, make up paid, houses paid, nice clothes paid. You don't. Everyone on here are single divorced bitter older women
@@virginiavallek1654 Ho convenient that the men gets to decide how much they "pay" and can say their wife is just annoying and nagging when she asked for expensive jewellery. Look for example at the ballerina farm example. Her husband is a multi millionaire and will inherit an airline from his father. Her "payment": an egg apron as birthday present. Payment is money that I can do with as I want. Being paid in natural goods is not payment and it can lead to really bad situations. Also nice straw man that you create of bitter older women. Apparently expecting to have your own income and some independence when you are an adult means you are bitter. I think everyone can choose to be a house wife, we just need to be honest with the potential risks that decision entails. Those dangers were learned from the two generations before us.
The first girl describes life of an aristocracy. As a peasant, you would need to work hard on a field and with live stock to survive, one dress for life and a pair of shoes if you're very lucky. Kids were a necessity to help on fields. Just look at rural India or Asia. There you have trad wives. To only have kids you need to have good financial situation and relying on someone for it is just not.
Exactly. This is the traditional reality, not what wet fantasy they're describing. Those "traditionals" want the lifestyle of the aristocracy but they don't have the money nor the power an aristocratic family had. The people who jump into this lifestyle are insane, they put their kids through poverty and lack of opportunities(I don't think those kids can have many opportunities in life if only one parent works) because one parent is dumb and the other is selfish. Usually the parents in those traditional families expect their kids to become lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc because they want to leech of off the kids. It is sickening and disgusting how much pain stupidity can breed.
That's the thing, no matter how kind or generous a man is, sooner or later, they want absolute control over your life. It's the sick obsession they have with wanting complete dominance over a woman's life.
@@Thecutest_Giraffe All men have a clipper to clip your wings. Some can do the big chop, some have a small dull clipper, but all of them will do it. LAT relationships could slow it down but nothing will stop a man. You're better off getting the things you want now, because when they come it's over.
these relationships dont work bc the women dont survive these relationships: they either get discarded or they die early from stress. those are the only two options.
I am a Homemaker, and it is possible. My husband and I set up a Spousal IRA which we contribute to every month. Plus I have my personal 401k from before we were married AND I have access to a spousal Socail Security check. We have life insurance incase he or I die. The part young women are missing is the part where you protect your future. The part where you look ahead like "We are in this together forever" and if you need to you work, if he needs to he cleans. If you work for his business, you get put on as a paid employee. I think mothers are not setting their girls up for successful marriages, I am grateful my grandma and mom knew the things weneeded to set up and guided me in it.
And a lot of women don’t plan for nasty custody battles. In many states, whoever earns the most income gets the kids. In other states, the primary caregiver gets the kids. It just depends. Having almost no earning potential with a large gap in your work history is going to hit a lot of women hard. 😬 But as long as they know the position they’re putting themselves in, I don’t see a reason to think about it.
It's too risky 😬, you wanting financial back up already make men see you leaving already .Most men don't want you to work because they see you depending on them and that is power to them.Men rarely give you money without you asking them.
Even if you DO have one there are still loads of ways they can get around it and leave you with nothing. Also, there are NO repercussions for NOT paying alimony or child support.
These people speak so confidently about "tradition" without knowing what they're adopting is not at all old but very new. The overwhelming majority of cultures througout time have had anyone who was able nbodied to work. You did something. Yes,some things were assigned for men/women but everyone got done what needed to be done. ...just like now.
14:44 I like her analogy but as someone with a pension whose employer pays a decent chunk into every month, once I stop working I'll still have an income. Stay at home parents need a long term plan and a plan B, C and D
I wish the people who glorify being a tradwife realized that the woman wasnt a trad wife, she was a wife who wasnt not getting paid for her services. Those women were expected to manage the house, bookkeep, raise the kids, manage the household staff, etc. And the sad part is, only a small percentage of women actually had that luxury. Every other woman had to work a low paying job on top of doing all the domestic duties at home. Let's be made aware that many of the stay at home moms were on drug. Mom's little helpers were medication prescribed to women to help them cope with the lifestyle so many other women idolize. Also, being subject to the whims of a man is a death sentence. How many more 40 something divorced tradwives must we see before these women take the hint? Your security is based on whether or not your husband continues to like you and want you. Its the same with a job but at least you leave a job with either a pension, 401k and or an unemployment check.
I'm not a "Boss Babe" by any stretch of the imagination. I am a woman who was raised to be able to "stand on my own" and not look for a man to rescue me! I would've STARVED TO DEATH! Wouldn't have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of! When I read through comments and posts at young ladies and women who placed blind trust in men and got left behind......And those women/young ladies w/o anything after high school to fall back on are left looking pitiful!!!
Trad wife is an influencer lifestyle pushed largely by Mormon cultists to misrepresent the experience of being a stay at home wife and trick young girls into religiously minded gender roles. Stay at home wife is just a wife that stays at home and can mean all sorts of situations.
People who try to say the trad wife lifestyle is the way it’s always been historically are lying to you. The idea that a woman should stay at home and look after the kids and family, is a ideology that existed for a short amount of time between the 50s and 80s. If you look further back in history to the early 1900s and 1800s, women often worked outside of the home. Only a very small percentage of wealthy women could afford to be at home. The majority of working class women worked as teachers, maids, seamstress, secretaries, nurses, nannies, farmhands ect.
2:33 I don’t understand how some people can’t just get the point, there’s nothing wrong with doing these things if you choose to do these things, however, make sure your back is covered if you do. You don’t need to climb a whole corporate ladder, (and I don’t know why everyone acts like the only job women do is in corporate stuff or “girlbossing”? We are regular civilians with different types of jobs as well. Besides the point), before deciding to have a family. But have something, an education, a little bit of job experience, something so that if ish hits the fan, you’re not left destitute trying to figure out how you’re going to feed yourself OR you AND your children. For whatever reason, ish can hit the fan. Even back then women weren’t technically supposed to be going into marriages with nothing to fall back on. That’s why they had dowries. This idea of going into a marriage, forgoing a job, having no money that is designated to the woman specifically to protect or take care of her, that IS technically fringe. And that is a more modern take on the original stay at home mom idea.
The women shaming feminism do not understand it. It's not to FORCE women to go into the workforce or forgo having kids. It's to give women the OPTION to do those things.
I’m sorry but listening to these women makes me so depressed because it’s so classist, I hate living in a capitalist economy and having to have two incomes to survive, but I can’t afford anything else. How dare these women tell me I don’t love my child or keeping my home clean or cooking healthy meals for me and my family when I would love to not have to work and stay home with my baby and pursue my hobbies and keep a home but I literally do not have the funds to. None of them are real tradwives, none of them are taking care of the children, making dinner for a huge family, working a trade from home, managing household funds, taking care of farm animals, crops etc. They’re rich roleplayers who have the audacity to tell us that we should abandon our livelihoods because otherwise we hate our children and husbands.
MY roots are not a mother sitting at home with children... My mother worked professionally, my grandmother too. My great-grandmother did not work professionally but... she toiled in the countryside. Seriously, it has nothing to do with the traditional old family format. These ladies on social media pretend something, act, it's theater. Traditionally, a woman, unless she was a countess, toiled in the countryside giving birth to more children, often dying during the next delivery. And the feminists hated by these tradwifes...won them a choice. A woman has a choice today.
I cook and clean and dress feminine and spoil my man, but I live alone. My boyfriend comes over and stays with me sometimes for a few days at a time, and then leaves and gives me space for a bit. I don't want kids and he knows I will not change my mind. My point is, you can "play house" and do things that traditional women do without committing 100% to a traditional lifestyle. I think a lot of people want their traditional aesthetic but that's just a level of commitment and a lifestyle that doesn't work for everyone. I recommend that women build a stable life for themselves where all their needs are taken care of and then look for a relationship. Depending on someone else for your survival just spells disaster down the road in my mind.
@@wearesatellites91 YES! Exactly! You get it! I want to be in a relationship because we make each other happy and it's emotionally fulfilling. Not because I depend on them to pay my bills and for me to survive!
@@likeabun Well said. Not truly getting to know one’s souse and seeing them as a means of survival are some of the reasons why these trad-wives end up in awful relationships. Especially the religious ones who get married young because they don’t have that wider perspective.
In the US, the Social Security retirement benefit is based on your highest 35 years of earnings and the age you start receiving benefits. If you have fewer than 35 years of earnings, they use a zero for each year without earnings. Therefore, years with no earnings reduce your retirement benefit amount.
I was never a trad wife or a SAHM because my then husband and I could never afford it. I was happy with it because I'm a really social person and I loved the job I had before I got married. Welp we hit a snag ten years in when I deconverted from our shared religion. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but I was the same person I was before, just didn't believe in a god or wanted to go to church. It was difficult to get him to open up about his feelings on it, but when he gave me a peek, I was horrified. We were in the living room and I was trying to get what was going through his mind, and I said to him, "I know it's hard to think about, because it's scary thinking the person you love is going to hell." and he replied with, "No, I just wanted to have a Christian wife." It was like someone took a sledge hammer to my foundation and smashed it into pieces. He had said a few things here and there that cracked it during the last six months of our marriage, but that last comment is what shattered it. I realized he didn't love me because I am me, he just loved having a wife with a certain status.
These poor “trad wife” women are gonna learn the hard way about the male. I lasted only 6 years in my marriage. If I didn’t have a degree and the ability to leave, he’d have eventually unalived me. It’s great that you’re young and beautiful, and that makes you easy to “love.” Just wait until you become ill, get injured, or don’t look/function that same. Wait until his eyes start to wander when you’re 40; you will be trapped and impoverished.
You go right on and depend on a man for your financing. If something happens to him-death or he runs off, what will you do to feed your children? Don’t play yourselves Ladies-bring home a paycheck in some form or fashion-it doesn’t matter if you just press the go button at the car wash. Bring home a check. Know the passwords to the bank accounts.
It’s so sad to hear the story of the woman who gave up her whole life to a man who saw her as nothing but a housekeeper and sex object. I hope God spares me from men like this. I would rather die alone that enter an early grave because of a man.
Married almost 22 years, raised my kids and love and loved it all. One kid out the door and 3 more years to go for our other to graduate… don’t regret it one bit!
11:26 ladies, ladies m, ladies. They don’t move on quickly becise they don’t know how to take care for himself. That’s only the superficial reason, the s symptom of what’s actually going on. Jennifer on quickly because she was a fool, an object, like a pair of scissors. When a pair packs up, you just get another one. That means he could never love her….bc she’s an object to him, he can never be loyal…bc she’s an object. One CANNOT be loyal to AN OBJECT. The fact that they objectify women, THAT is proof they are incapable of loving WOMEN, THAT is proof he will cheat. If he bangs you out like it’s all about him, he will cheat he will leave you, he will move on quickly.
The courts are siding more and more with the men in this. If you are a career woman you could find yourself paying alimony or child support. this is why the men fight so hard for custody now. The woman is told to reconsider the divorce. Forgive the infidelity or other indiscretions of the husband and work it out. Get marriage counseling. Get therapy if you are having a hard time forgiving. If you are a trad wife and you want to be compensated for all you've done the courts will tell you if you want to be taken care of, stay married.
When our country had a family based economy instead of a corporate based economy, that we now, have, it was much different. Most families had their own mom and pop business or farm. Husbands and wives worked closely together. Also men could not just divorce their wives. They had to prove she committed adultery. We need to go back to a family based economy instead of a corporate based economy. In a free market there are no corporations because the government doesn’t charter corporations in a free market.
Those men who want a traditional marriage are insane. IN THIS ECONOMY!? How could they support a family with one salary? They are so selfish and immature, they put their children and themselves in poverty because they want a fulltime servant. Shocker with less income, a family is more predisposed to poverty, the children can be exploited or get into shady business for money. Poor families can offer their kids few or no opportunities because they're poor. It's sickening how much pain can selfishness and stupidity breed. And shocker, women did work in those "traditional times". So few people understand the reality, especially the reality of family and family life. Women who came from poverty worked in the house, in the fields, sold the harvest, made cheese and sold it, sold hand sewed clothes, some had jobs working for the rich as maids, tutors, cooks.
I like staying home primarily because I am an autistic woman who struggles TREMENDOUSLY with socializing and with being away from my comfort zone. As a SAHM, I get the freedom every single day to honor my energy levels (mental, emotional, and physical) and I am able to live in my cozy, calm, quiet atmosphere. I'm able to nerd out too, because I homeschool my kids part-time (and then I get the break from them on the days they go to school.) I obviously hope to never lose my husband. But I can truly say that I've lived longer because of these relaxed last 15 years. If I'd been in the workforce that whole time, my mental health would be way worse off.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 No, you don't. We have life insurance if he passes, but that's it. You don't have to have a contingency plan for every unlikely thing that might happen in life. Sometimes you just cross that bridge if you come to it.
Working for free for a roof over your head is actually called slavery/servitude... this is why women need to start demanding to be paid. I heard some dudes claiming kids dont need child support bc the mom will be paying for the house and electric anyways and the extra people there dont take up more electric. Use that logic for this. The dude would already have the house and all these bills with out her so shes not actually using anything.... wow! Now pay her for nabysitting yoir kid. You know how we say dads babysit their kids.. maybe we should start saying that about moms.... so they will get valued for it.
I will at least suggest that you get a degree that is I. A feild that is lucrative, so if anything happens to your husband you can work, and support yourself and your children.
He has to choose you every day and if he decides that you are not it, you are out on your @$$ with no money and no skills. Hell to the no! My mother taught me better.
26:18 “I’m gay, obviously” 😂 it wasn’t obvious, and also slightly disappointing at the realization that a lot of straight men lack this kind of common sense
Trad wife: I remember seeing my grandmother’s washing machine: a wringer and washboard (1930’s and 40’s) good luck with your manicure when you go back to the trad wife roots Edit: a “modern” washing machine was a huge expense that my grandfather at that time couldn’t manage
At the last part of the video, there's this clip of a young man calling out the hypocrisy of other young men who couldn't finance a middle-class family style but want to have a trad wife. I was happily surprised. I thought, "OMG! Finally, a man who understand! And he looks cute too. Is he single?" Then at the end of the clip he said, "Obviously, I am gay." And I was like... 😭😭😭😭😭😭
The reality is some women will be career women. Some women will be stay at home wives and moms and some women will mix it up. In all these scenarios women will run some risks. That is the long and the short of it. Fighting over which one is best is getting old. Find which situation best suits you and go for it.
For women who still have the absurd fantasy of getting married... I suggest that with the help of a lawyer you draft a prenuptial document in which you establish, among other requirements, that your Prince-husband pays you 10k monthly, as compensation for house chores, and in case you have children; then your Prince-husband pays 10k per month for each child born; in addition to the 10k for house chores. As for compensations for every time your Prince-Husband has to pay you for infidelity... I'll leave that up to you. 🤨 Women, open your eyes. Take off the tiara from your head, tear off your fairy wings, and get off the pony. For men, marriage has always been a business, in which the only beneficiaries are them.🧐 Start separating emotions and feelings from reason, and start thinking with your head. Think like a businesswoman, because that's what marriage is... Business! 🤨🤨
The thing that people forget is that the "traditional lifestyle" was due to the fact that wome back then wasn't allowed to WORK! So yea, of course they stayed home.
They're fighting for their lives and the lives of their children. They likely don't have a viable way to support themselves even in a more modest fashion.
Is it that easy to open a business or an llc ? I feel like people keep making it seem like it's super easy, which is great if it is. I'm asking for myself 😂
A lot of the women that endorse 'trad wife' lifestyle refuse to understand everyone has a unique perspective towards life. For this, i need to credit Ballerina Farms as she has never once endorsed everyone to do what she does. Showcasing is very very different from endorsing. Everyone is learning as they go. There is no one way to achieve a fulfilling life. Basically, people need to STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES (i.e. Mind your own business).
Yeah but the problem is that young women and teenagers are seeing this content and believing in the false reality of it all. So they throw themselves at men, hoping to stay home and live a soft life, neglecting their own education and security. It’s dangerous and as a teacher, I’m watching it happen.
BF doesn’t even live the way she preaches, but her content does have an undertone of “this is the right way to live”. You don’t have to outright say something to say it.
being a tradwife is my dream since the early 2000. My family thought i was crazy to wanted that kind of style and now it's trendy. I feel i was born in the wrong eras.
If you were born in the 50’s you’d be saying the same thing. Getting beat and popping pills to take care of kids and a husband you’ve come to hate is not the life you think it is.
I came from generations of health happy traditional wives. It’s very rare to divorce in true traditional marriages. Marriage to my king for 30 years! Traditional marriage isn’t for everyone..I handle 💯of our finances.
@@OneIncomeSuperSaver My parents, my husband's parents, and all four sets of our grandparents were happily married til death did them part. Although they weren't all trad wives, I think it must be so rare to have that legacy! We are blessed. :)
@@neurodivercyndi It’s very rare for traditional marriages to end in divorces. I only know of one traditional marriage that ended in divorce in my town.
@@wearesatellites91 Just stating the facts. When you marry for love and you both share the same family values it makes marriage more easy..less stressful, less fighting and less chances of cheating
In the olden days only rich women had a "tradwife" life. Regular women worked and their daughters often kept up the home. Some were middle class. Some were dirt poor. But to these young women who are saying they are going back to their roots some will need to live in a shack and endure a lot of misery. That is their roots.
I think a lot of us are aware of that and already living that. My house is a small shack and I don't make enough at my job to upgrade but I work with what I have. I used to live in a house with skylights and garden tub on 5 acres and now I'm in a hood with drug addicts walking around. I don't know if other women struggle with that but I've gotten to a point where I choose poverty over men and just accept it. Plus there's a lot of women who are insanely savvy and will do a lot better than me, they'll goto college and start a business and do great. But if society gets to a point where most women are in poverty, I don't think theyll gravel at mens feet. I think men truly hope for that though. I've embraced poverty and going to work because it's a lesser form of torture than mental torture. Mentally I'm good because my emotions are no longer being controlled by somebody and i can heal from abuse, life is just rougher. Happy and poor is what I vote for
Their roots were losing their daughters to strangers as child brides because their husband bet his own children in a poker game and lost.
Most women in the Midwest stayed at home very few worked outside the home according to census records and all 4 of my great grandparents.
thats because they dont understand the concept of actually having paid leave to be with a baby for year or two and then start working again. most of them end up being replaced with a younger model and then they learn.
@HappyTraditionalWife my grandmother was a working woman and before that a domestic and before that a slave.
I was forced to giveup my job and be a trad wife to take care of our disabled child. In turn, husband got us family insurance, put me nominee to his assets and we started a pension fund in my name that he pays into. I have my own account he pays a monthly sum into. He doesnot ask me how i spend it. I stash every penny. But honestly im grateful he's protected me financially.
Hopefully that works for you. Make sure you have enough in savings.
That is great. If you're going to be a tradwife, this is how it should be done.
He’s a real traditional, family oriented man. I am so happy for you to have someone like that
@@Mira-gu6we awesome 👍 the way to do it!
Thats the way to do it. The men.
The way some men think they are entitled to women's labor and when the marriage ends, they get nothing, while men had the free labor of a stay-at-home mom who literally risked her life to birth their children...is very telling.
Absolutely
This is exactly the problem with this kind of narrative. Women already risk their mental and physical health by having babies. That cannot be avoided, but demanding women also give up any and all financial security is wild. Men are not held to the same standard. They can spend years building up their careers and no one thinks anything of it, but as soon as a woman decides to make sure she's financially secure, she's all of a sudden a feminist man hating harpy or a gold digger.
The way some women think they are entitled to a mans labor when the marriage ends, they get screwed by the courts via the house, support, gov assist, trauma, drama, etc. While the woman had an unlimited atm who took years of emotional verbal abuse to please a woman who doesn't respect him and plans to leave him. It's very telling....
See how stupid and sexist this sounds
Also these women staying at home allowed these men to concentrate on thier careers .
That notion of "fetish" and "soft core corn" is so perfect!!!!
This is corn for Men
Right? It gives me the ick!
It’s also corn/fetish inspiration for women. The amount of women who I’ve read comment sexual things on Estee William’s channel about how they’re going to please their husband (this is the g version of it) is disgusting.
My mum worked in a woman’s shelter. Women who were financially dependent on their husbands are disproportionately represented here. They have nothing if the man leaves and that can lead to abuse.
Why dont they get half of divorce? What happened to that?
@@zero1188There’s a number of reasons for that. If the couple doesn’t have a lot of assets or savings, her half wont amount too much. If the husband is financially abusive and has taken the money to spend or hide, again there won’t be much. If she doesn’t have access to bank accounts she won’t be able to get any of the money until the divorce. Divorces take months at minimum but sometimes even go for years. The forms to file for it cost money which might prevent someone from filing quickly.
@@zero1188a lot of abusive men are also in tons of debt, so there aren’t any assets, or they hide their assets so it looks like there isn’t anything to divide.
@zero1188 because if they already are in a dependency it's difficult to leave and GET A DIVORCE. So they have to leave and risk everything before they "option" of divorce even appears
I've ended up learning a fair amount traditional British and Dutch cheese making. It used to be the farmers wives who would spend their time making cheese to sell for family income. They'd spend hours a day working on the batches and turning that days milk into cheese. Women have always worked, even land owning women. Anyone below gentry worked. They made cheese, they sewed, did laundry, rented out spare bedrooms doing the cleaning and cooking for borders. If they were really traditional wives of working men they'd be earning money in some way everyday even part time
Until the industrial revolution, work was in the home.
A SAHM/W still works in the home.
Also beer brewing used to be primarily done by women.
@@msmsctati oh interesting. Women made all the best things then. Beer and cheese party 🥳
THANK YOU. I can’t stand all these people thinking pure SAHM was the norm throughout history. 🤦♀️ Nor these ladies forgetting that equal rights is the only reason they have a voice or a CHOICE how to lead their life.
@@FringePrincessright? And how they depicted trad wives are so unreal, wraring pretty dresses and cook?
Hah!!! Those only probable if their husband provide the money to buy dress ,make up ,detergent , and enough grocery expenses, ehat about children schoolfee? 😂 They're delulu.
That all too if their husband can provide roof with kitchen 😂 instead of just some small apartment with minimal kitchen and space storage.
I don't have any problems with this lifestyle, each to their own. What concerns me is, that they usuallyhave no plan b. And life happens and some day the very christian husband can leave for a teenage escort and the trad wife suddenly discovers everything they have, belongs to him and she cannot even afford a good divorce lawyer.
Yeah, it's not a neutral setup, it's a massive power imbalance. And ignoring that is just asking for abuse.
And even if he does stay, is the perfect husband.. he could die. No plan B is a way more dangerous position for a woman to be in than a man.
Even if he does stay…. He doesn’t cheat… he could lose his job. If he loses his job all the mental stress and financial load is going to be placed on her.
@@purevenus6359 exactly, the stay at home uneducated impossible to employ wife lifestyle just isn't compatible with an uncertain and unstable economic reality. Like it's a luxury, not a entitlement.
@@arcanineryu I wouldn’t even say it’s a luxury because most women who live this way end up admitting they are bored and miserable. It’s the reality that men don’t value women who stay in the home all day and don’t contribute financially, and it can be isolating only being in the home with children. I’d say it’s a luxury when your home is an empty nest and you can actually enjoy the luxury. Too many trad-moms with kids complain online for me to seriously think it’s anything but unpaid labor with no benefits.
The part where she says that his fun and he’ll buy them little treats like if their pets
As long as she prefrom well as a housewife and he is in the mood tought ,all It takes IS a bad day at work, one day the dinner is not ready on time,or the house isn't spotless for this kind of men to start using their money as a weapon to control their wifes if they don't do as they said.
Sick, isn't it?
That's the same thing I said
He's treating them like pets, for real.
@@imitationporcelain I say this and people think I’m lying. I literally saw my dad do this to my mom and thought it was sickening. Men love telling women that they’ll pay for them just to use the “well it’s my money” card on you. Why women keep falling for it is beyond me.
If you're a tradwife and your husband dies, or leaves you, and either of those happenings will financially leave you with little to nothing, then you have nothing to brag about. You're in a danger zone. Depending on someone for your food, shelter, and livelihood is dangerous territory.
Same person who feeds you can also starve you!!!
When beauty fades and youth dwindles men tend to wander. ESPECIALLY when you're in the vulnerable position where no matter what he does you can't leave him because you're dependent.
It's easy to bully and disrespect someone when there's literally nothing they can do about it
A man is not a plan
Ironic how the same people using thw "if he leaves you excuse" when you're the ones who leave. Women leave men more. If the excuse "because my s/o might leave me" then via stats alone men should be more worried
@@virginiavallek1654 okay, if a trad wife was to leave where exactly would she go hm?
I just want men that aren’t even traditional men to stop asking where are the traditional women at?
Agreed! I think a lot of them think that being "traditional" means that they get their sweet, submissive lil wife. But the number one thing that needs to be realized is that submission (TRUE submission) does not and cannot happen without safety and trust. They MUST display a life that's well put together in every way imaginable, including emotional stability. (Spoiler alert: If they had that, they probably wouldn't be leaving rude comments about women on social media!) :)
@@neurodivercyndiPreach!
This 👆👆👆
True, men used to work with their wives at their mom and pop business or farm. Traditional men also did not divorce their wives.
One of the things that pisses me off about this tradwide movement is that not all women can afford to do it, but some will think it's the only right way to live, so they will take on alllll the responsibilities of a tradwife, but still work a job because they can't afford NOT to, so they'll perpetually be worked to the bone AND feel guilty about not "being there" for their kids like they "should" be. That is LITERAL hell.
This is absolutely correct.
Well the way I see it is it's a choice. You can work and do boss babe life or choose to be with a man that can support you. There are no tradwivws that tradwife with a poor man bc they would sink. However giving all your time away and never being able to support yourself is absolutely setting yourself up for possible failure down the road. If you have never worked and your hubby died or gets disabled how will you live? @@mudandglitter1609
@@mudandglitter1609It is not correct. I am a Trad Wife and what makes it work is that we don’t live large. So many of you keep toys like ATV’s Motorcycles, and so much you can’t afford or need that you rent storage lockers-all bought with credit cards that charge 22% interest. Just be frugal and don’t piss your money away.
@carolynlucca3269 so many of who? Who are you referring to with this statement?
Also, I'm truly glad that your life works for you. I don't know what you are looking for with this comment. No one mentioned expensive toys or fancy houses. The OP said the woman can not afford not to. Meaning, basic necessities need to be paid for.
You have an incredibly skewed and incorrect perception of what average, working class people spend their money and time on. Stop listening to conservative rhetoric that says people can't afford housing because of avocado toast. Do you have any concept of how financially privileged you have to be, to be capable of supporting a family on a single income if you just didn't have *multiple recreational vehicles*?? What effing world do you live in? @@carolynlucca3269
Having own money, job even part-time or online is survival, not feminism.
I call that being smart.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 exactly, being 100% financial dependent on someone else is a recipe for a disaster
The term "traditional wife" isn't even correct. The lifestyle they're all stumping for is "rich wife", not trad wife. Back in the day, if you weren't rich, then you worked. Women would help on the farm. They'd be the ones to go into town to sell what was harvested. They'd often do things like book keeping, accounting, HR, marketing, etc. for their husbands' businesses. The Leave It to Beaver crap was very rare. Women have worked their backsides off since the beginning of time. This trad wife trend is a farce. Hell, these women on Tick Tock aren't even real trad wives. They're running a business. They create, edit, and distribute content. They make money. They have sponsors. They're bringing outside income into the household. They are not at all the definition of traditional wife they are attempting to imply they are. And the sad thing is, there are people dumb enough to fall for their ridiculousness and get themselves into a situation that is dangerous and detrimental for themselves that these influencers are smart enough to avoid by ensuring they have their own stream of income and financial security.
💯
Even rich wife is a bit of a stretch. Most rich women have domestic workers to help out.
Very, very well said. 👏
That's my issue completely. The trad wife is just working for free basically. Because she (and her husband) see it as a duty or a calling or a "lifestyle" as it's marketed. No, it's work to stay at home and take care of house and family. Not to mention that she's expected to work 24/7. Him paying bills is below the bare minimum.
Yeah, but rich women in the past didn’t cook, clean or raise the kids. These women are just frauds making money on social media and pretending not to work.
They want slaves, not employees. Full-time employees at least get paychecks, side benefits, 401K/pensions, marketable experience and skills for the next position,...
Housing and paying the bills is just the cost of running the "business". That's her "office", where she works 24/7. Employees don't pay for the lease/mortgage and utilities of their place of work.
An employer also will Fire u and you'll garunteed nothing. A employer doesn't care about you at all. With a husband he's at least supposed to love you and your kids love you. You're bills are paid.
@@virginiavallek1654the bar is in the basement. Holding someone financially hostage isn't love
@@virginiavallek1654 I can still be fired via divorce, but go off
I was a teenager in 1974 when laws changed that allowed women to handle their own financial affairs. Until then women couldn't open their own bank accounts or get credit without a man's signature. I argue that the trad wife thing was forced on many women back in the day. Many were forced/shamed into marrying in order to have someone to take care of them. Many felt forced to submit and endure anything that their husbands did. If their husbands left them, those nasty men weren't considered horrible but she was blamed because she couldn't keep her husband happy.
I remember a few months ago seeing many posts asking why marriages today didn't last as long as their grandparents. The divorce rates increased soon after women were able to handle their own financial affairs and didn't have to tolerate horrible behavior from their husbands.
Make sure you get a man that actually likes women. Make sure you have skills where you can survive alone before you get with these men. You will be really glad you did.
👏
People literally forgetting that the term "cottage industry" exists because now the word "cottage" is synonymous with the soft life rather than just... a smaller than usual house. 🤨
🎯 Before the industrial revolution, work was in the home.
And you forgot the animals!!! Animals are expensive…….and you still need to feed thek
Naw, I’m pretty sure that phrase has been around for a while. People used to make a lot of extra side cash making cheese, straw hats, and selling flowers that they grew at home. Women were often the ones who ran these businesses from their “cottages.”
I truly dont understand this "tradition" fantasy. My mother worked, my grandmother's worked and most of my great grandmother's worked. The only one who didn't was my grandmother's mother who got married at 15 and had 12 children, when her husand died the whole family was screwed. My grandmother's mom didnt know how to do anything except look after kids, my grandmother had to drop out of college to take over her father's shop and became the "man" of the house. Women working is in line with the family tradition.
The same thing happened to my great grandma at 13 and my grandpa had to start working at 9. These people are delusional if they think gambling with their future is what’s best for their kids.
My grandmother never worked when she lived in my country. The difference is that she came from a country where there was no property tax and houses were extremely cheap in my country, 700 dollars in the 60s. The children shared 2 rooms for 10 children. It was extremely cheap and it was very easy to build in my country, people only ate at home, my grandmother made clothes by hand for her children, they went to public school and in my country there were almost none of the services that you pay for like internet or cable. It was really cheap that's why my grandparents had 12 children. When they moved to the United States and their children were already adults, she did start working, life here is very expensive.
I was married to military for 21 years. 3 kids. We agreed that I should stay home and every six months or so I was told I was not contributing and should get a job. I'd go get a job, had to walk to work or take the bus while he drove the car. I had to pay for child care, so I ultimately brought home half my pay. 3 to 4 months later I would hear that I was neglecting and not taking proper care of the children or the home (while I still did everything with the kids and all the chores needed to be done in the home). I would get beaten down and leave the job and 3 to six months later it would start again. Sadly, when I divorced him 21 yrs later he was able to prove that I couldn't keep a job and the judge deemed me unworthy to be provided with anything. 21 yrs and out on my ass. He's now on wife number 5 (I was number 1 and he's only 55)
Um… what the hell…?!
I am so sorry that this happened to you! What a horrible "man"! The judge did not take into account your value as a SAHM. Shame on him! I hope that things are better for you now!
It’s also harder to keep jobs as a military wife, due to being moved every 3 years or so to a different location.
If having a career is so elevated above child rearing, why does my successful single sister regularly get shamed for not having kids, while I don't catch any flack for my crappy career and SAHM lifestyle? Literally no one has asked, when I'm going back to work or why don't I make more money. I find this content so hard to watch knowing the abuse that so many people endure as a result of this lifestyle
They never want to address the abuse or what happens to tradwives later in life. Many find out their husbands don’t have any savings for them or that they aren’t even on his will. It’s a risky lifestyle and women need to wake up. I saw my mom go through hell, and she still tells me it’s ok to rely on a man. Smh.
Because only men are supposed to benefit from working and earning and women aren’t supposed to (we ARE, we get to choose! Support your sister and tell her to not listen to others, she sounds like she is rocking it! As are you with your family! True feminism to me is getting to choose your own path freely)
That first woman holding the baby sounds like she's describing being a child or a pet. "He takes us on adventures and gives us food!" And thanks to feminism , we don't HAVE to get married. It's a fine choice, but it needs to b just that -- a CHOICE. And frankly I like being able to have my own bank account and credit card and house. I like the idea that i won't have to *rely* on a man to take care of me. Plus that sounds like mad pressure on the man! What if something happens to him , not even divorce? Nah. You gotta always look out for yourself too.
For a long while, I didn’t understand the big deal with trad wife content. I just kept thinking, “who cares? It’s obviously all fake anyways.” And I hated my job at the time so I’d think, “well damn I’d love to stay home and just clean all day. I’m tired of never being home” so in some ways I was envious. And it’s hard to imagine my husband leaving me. We have a great relationship and he’s fiercely loyal. Yes, I believe anything can happen but that argument was hard for me to accept because my husband and I have worked hard to build a stable relationship.
What stopped me dead in my tracks was hearing that Andrew dude’s wife (from the Whatever podcast) say that they don’t encourage their daughters to go to college, seek higher education, and / or careers. She was saying, “yeah they have little jobs now to have something to do but that’s just until they can find husbands, stay home, and have kids.” That terrified me.
I’m a very smart person and I cannot imagine having parents that didn’t push me to use my amazing brain and find something to do that I’m good at and that I love. And my parents are Christians who uphold traditional gender roles at home! But my mom is incredibly intelligent, put herself through law school, had her own law firm, and is now a teacher. All of that as an immigrant / black woman born in the 1960’s, ending up in the USA. She spoke no English when she came to this country. My dad always supported her and always talks about how brilliant she is.
My husband is from a patriarchal society (not USA) but he’s like my dad. He knows I’m smart and he really wants me to work (also he loves money and financial security lol). But he wants me to work so I feel strong and can sleep better, knowing I put in a hard day of work. He’s always been incredibly supportive of my endeavors. He always asks for my opinion and helped me believe that what I have to say is valuable.
And also, what if he dies? I started to thank God that I have a strong education and a master’s degree.
Hearing Andrew’s wife say that is one reason that I decided to go back to school and finish the PhD that I started. I want to continue to contribute to my retirement accounts and pay off our house. Because if my husband dies, I want to be covered and not have to worry about not having money. I really don’t think he’d ever leave me and I don’t plan on leaving him (anything’s possible but I’m talking in generalities) but if he dies first, I will never marry another man. I don’t want to be forced to consider marriage just for the financial benefit of splitting the mortgage payment! I’d want to live alone in our beautiful home with a bunch of dogs surrounded by pictures of my husband.
And I don’t even care about how creepy that sounds
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Sorry for such a long comment. I’m incredibly wordy lol 😅
@@darbileighNo worries! It is an excellent comment and should be read by every young woman who views trad wife content.
This! All those trad people acting like we are against the idea of a happy marriage.
But I see this with my parents. She is a SAHM since my birth (I'm f28) and my dad worked self-employed to support us (6person household). Now that he's getting sick more often I had to sit my brothers down to talk about supporting our parents financially because if ever something happens to him, my mum wouldn't be able to provide for herself. It's less about you not trusting your partner but having a plan B. Especially today when we as women have so many possibilities because women in the last 100 years worked so hard for it, I dont want to get married because I NEED a man to be provided but because I WANT him as a person... which I always thought would be better for a honest man, too.
I'm sick of men acting like them working is the hardest thing ever. Most men are not doing hard labor jobs ...slack off ...sleep at work .... phone it in.
Working at a blue collar job with many many married men, this is true. Only a small percent do an honest days work. It’s an escape from their life at home and the best part is is that this is the “excuse” they use when they talk about “how much work they do to provide for this house”. Men want a free maid they can control and breed with.
I have a full time job now. It is really not that hard. And I have nobody at home who washes my clothes and cooks healthy meals for me. Men just pretend how hard it is. I even suspect that some of them do overtime just to avoid taking care of their own children.
Even if the woman was viewed as an employee there's such a thing as opportunity costs, which men know full well is a thing and they expect to be compensated for at work.
TRUE!
Your "paycheck" is called bills paid, cad not paid, Hair paid, groceries paid, insurance paid, house paid, kids paid, shopping paid, jewelry paid, trips paid, etc. If women are equal to men then we get the same at the end
@@virginiavallek1654Opportunity costs level the playing field somewhat in determining the outcome of a divorce with a working husband and a stay at home wife. A stay at home wife adds to the upward mobility of a working husband. Does she entertain his work associates and boss? Does her presence with taking care of the house and the children allow him to pursue a college degree or continuing education in his profession? These are intangible things that have monetary value beyond the "paycheck," depending on the laws in your state, and are taken into account when compensating the wife in the final divorce decree.
If men are true providers I am for it. However you still must have your own money! You never know the future. He could change, flip out, or even have health issues. Its better yo be safe than sorry.
I just found out yesterday that my trad brother-in-law is separated from his wife. He became disabled a year ago and the relationship wasnt built for his wife to be the provider ...trad relationship isn't built for reality....oh, they have 6 kids.
That’s nuts, but these people really do reap what they sow. I only feel for the kids.
"Being taken care of" can disappear in a moment. Not just bitter divorce, medical emergencies. It is VERY difficult to reenter the workforce after years of being the CEO of Family Planning (or something like that) within the home. SAHM's are very lucky to be able to do so. I was not as lucky, I worked FT, but did so in a way that I was still able to be with my children all day. It's not easy, but it's possible.
He cares about your emotional wellbeing but can't help out when he gets home? (Despite childcare/housekeepung being recognized as a form of employment outside of the context of being a SAHM). If you don' get to lift your legs and relax at the end of the day, then why should he?
Exactly. SAHM is work and expecting her to work 24/7?? Nah. When he gets home they should take the same responsibility for their home and kids. Imo. There's a pretty cool SAHM on yt who describes what she does as "domestic engineering". She sets her own goals and schedule, when her husband is home they split whatever needs done and she's always off on weekends.
I’m currently in this reality and my trad wife marriage only lasted 3 months 😂 I have to wait 6 more before I can apply on no grounds for divorce. It’s a nightmare being a trad wife. The men provide but the mental abuse is INSANE! You end up with severe mental health issues.
You fell for the trap. I don’t know why women think they are special being a trad wife. You’re essentially a free maid, sex toy, therapist, etc. you’re a side character in his life. You’re not his equal partner. Just because he pays bills etc.
At least... you're cured of such Delulu mindset, right?
3 months is like a class. Take it as any other lesson or degree you’ve ever earned in life, and thank the stars that you are a fast learner.
Good you are saving yourself now
Are you going to give him the rings and stuff back?
What we’re describing here is slavery.
🗣️🗣️SPEAK UP!!🗣️
I hate that this is romanticized. I've been in a similar situation and felt like a hostage
I was raised by a super conservative Christian anti-feminist trad-wife SAHM. And I knew I didn't want to be like her. I saw how her strong independent personality was squashed by strict gender roles and the church. I saw how much our family struggled financially. I saw how much she struggled to be the perfect trad wife while also wanting to be her own independent person. She and my dad found their equilibrium eventually and didn't divorce, but I don't regret not taking that path.
Yeah, no one will ever convince me that's ever a good idea. When I was a kid I knew I'd never want to live that way.
Same. I grew up surrounded by trad wives, neighbors, relatives, etc. They were all miserable. They were starved and beaten, completely unable to make a decision to change their lives. I saw the nightmares, why would I want that.
@Herrera_70 Right??
I’m a feminist. That means I want women to have autonomy.
The autonomy to make their own choice to get an education and have a career with or without marriage/children. The autonomy to stay home and live traditional roles if THEY choose that.
Feminism is about female autonomy, not forcing women into roles, that is patriarchy.
Im 24 and married. People ALWAYS assumed I would fall in the traditional lifestyle due to me marrying someone a little older and us getting married after 1.5 years of dating. We are both working full time, have separate accounts, split bills 70/30, go out, etc. Having children terrifies the both of us and dont want them. People are mad either way, but we want us to be financially secure and happy. That's more important than making a decision that will impact us for the worst.
You do you no matter how others react. I’m 53 and never had that desire to be a parent. To have someone I was completely in charge of keeping alive and happy and turn into a productive adult. It did not sound fun to me. And it doesn’t just end when they turn 18. You’re a parent for life. And I noticed people with children seemed more stressed and not even close to being as happy as they were before having kids. My sister on the other hand wanted kids since she was still a baby herself. She enjoys it but she’s stressed so often. She has 2 dogs now and she’s joked maybe she should of just had dogs. When I was younger it was just assumed “wait until you have kids” and around age 12 I realized I didn’t have too! I was told I’d change my mind. I didn’t. I don’t know why people care so much? And I watched people have kids who did so because it was “just the next step” after getting married as we’ve been told by tv shows, movies, parents, friends, it was just everywhere. I now have childless friends and none of us regret it. At all. And the worst thing is when people said to me”whose going to care for you when your older?” Which is just crazy and incredibly selfish to expect that from your kids. They didn’t ask to be born and it’s not “returning the favor.” It can be dangerous physically for the child and older parent, it’s like having an adult baby. Plus your kids may live across the country by then with their own family. Or unfortunately many kids had/have trauma their dealing with from having parents who should not have had kids. My mom worked in palliative care as a nurse for years and knows how hard it is on your body, the stress it causes relationships, other siblings who don’t do their part, the guilt trips. It’s getting normalized now finally to not have them. Why others gaf is so strange to me. Plus it’s fun being an aunt or uncle or volunteering to work with kids missing a mom or dad and helping like a Big Sister/Brother. And you’re not selfish. I’ve seen selfish parents wanting little combined carbon copies of themselves, pushing their kids to fill the dreams the parents had as kids. My cats and dogs over the years bring me incredible joy, great company, love, and laughter. Raising another self sufficient healthy happy person is the hardest job in the world. And the number of couples who don’t even talk about it before marrying is frightening. And if you love kids I always thought it would be good to care for a niece/nephew/close friends child for at least a week. And the parents can maybe take a vacation? Vasectomies have great reversal percentages as well! Live your lives how you want and be clear with the intruders on your personal lives it’s none of their business. It’s the most personal question ever. Wtf?❤
Yeah, keep doing you! Don’t let anyone pressure you guys into anything y’all don’t want.
I wouldn’t be as Leary of trad wives if they waited until they were financially established and wait until they are somewhat settled in a career
Same. I’m from an area where women who stay home are often abused and left with nothing. Promoting a lifestyle that advocates for women to be below men is the key red flag here. They never wanna address that or use pretty words to make it seem less bad.
The woman who said it's fetish content was on point.
I know SAHMs (older than the current trend) who 10-15 years ago were all about the crafting, farmers markets, wearing head coverings, homeschooling, humble bragging about that via the popular social media of the time, et cetera. One woman, her husband got a degenerative disease and he could no longer work. Another, her husband died of cancer. More than one had a marriage that broke up because the man got weird/abusive, or cheated. They all were left scrambling to find jobs to support their families- and the jobs they managed to find didn't pay well. These are college educated women too.
I crack up whenever I see stuff like this in real life because they truly think reality will somehow skip over them.
“We like babies” - do you like CHILDREN?
That is the important question!
The trad wife life is not for me. I'm of thr mindset that if you give someone the power to feed you, you're also giving them the power to starve you. A man is not a plan for me. Yes, I'm married, but if anything happens, I'll be fine.
What they are asking for is a servant or slave.
Housing and food during the time their working, only to be thrown away when their can't continue.
Yep. That was the only point where I did not agree with the employee analogy. Because if they see women as employees they would pay them. And no, food and shelter is not payment. That is what indentured servants and slaves got.
The "pay" you're asking for is food paid, bills paid, jewelry paid, shopping paid, cars paid, make up paid, houses paid, nice clothes paid. You don't. Everyone on here are single divorced bitter older women
@@virginiavallek1654 Ho convenient that the men gets to decide how much they "pay" and can say their wife is just annoying and nagging when she asked for expensive jewellery.
Look for example at the ballerina farm example. Her husband is a multi millionaire and will inherit an airline from his father. Her "payment": an egg apron as birthday present.
Payment is money that I can do with as I want. Being paid in natural goods is not payment and it can lead to really bad situations.
Also nice straw man that you create of bitter older women. Apparently expecting to have your own income and some independence when you are an adult means you are bitter.
I think everyone can choose to be a house wife, we just need to be honest with the potential risks that decision entails. Those dangers were learned from the two generations before us.
The first girl describes life of an aristocracy. As a peasant, you would need to work hard on a field and with live stock to survive, one dress for life and a pair of shoes if you're very lucky. Kids were a necessity to help on fields. Just look at rural India or Asia. There you have trad wives. To only have kids you need to have good financial situation and relying on someone for it is just not.
Exactly.
This is the traditional reality, not what wet fantasy they're describing. Those "traditionals" want the lifestyle of the aristocracy but they don't have the money nor the power an aristocratic family had. The people who jump into this lifestyle are insane, they put their kids through poverty and lack of opportunities(I don't think those kids can have many opportunities in life if only one parent works) because one parent is dumb and the other is selfish. Usually the parents in those traditional families expect their kids to become lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc because they want to leech of off the kids. It is sickening and disgusting how much pain stupidity can breed.
I don't want to invite things in my life that challenges my authority over my own life.
Men challenge that all the time.
That's the thing, no matter how kind or generous a man is, sooner or later, they want absolute control over your life. It's the sick obsession they have with wanting complete dominance over a woman's life.
@@Thecutest_Giraffe All men have a clipper to clip your wings. Some can do the big chop, some have a small dull clipper, but all of them will do it.
LAT relationships could slow it down but nothing will stop a man. You're better off getting the things you want now, because when they come it's over.
She’s trying to convince herself, not us.
these relationships dont work bc the women dont survive these relationships: they either get discarded or they die early from stress. those are the only two options.
I am a Homemaker, and it is possible. My husband and I set up a Spousal IRA which we contribute to every month. Plus I have my personal 401k from before we were married AND I have access to a spousal Socail Security check. We have life insurance incase he or I die. The part young women are missing is the part where you protect your future. The part where you look ahead like "We are in this together forever" and if you need to you work, if he needs to he cleans. If you work for his business, you get put on as a paid employee. I think mothers are not setting their girls up for successful marriages, I am grateful my grandma and mom knew the things weneeded to set up and guided me in it.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a trad wife but you should absolutely protect yourself financially and have a solid pre nup.
And a lot of women don’t plan for nasty custody battles. In many states, whoever earns the most income gets the kids. In other states, the primary caregiver gets the kids. It just depends. Having almost no earning potential with a large gap in your work history is going to hit a lot of women hard. 😬 But as long as they know the position they’re putting themselves in, I don’t see a reason to think about it.
First comment blocked.
Right. I think the only wrong this about being a tradwife is the financially predicament you put yourself in.
It's too risky 😬, you wanting financial back up already make men see you leaving already .Most men don't want you to work because they see you depending on them and that is power to them.Men rarely give you money without you asking them.
Even if you DO have one there are still loads of ways they can get around it and leave you with nothing. Also, there are NO repercussions for NOT paying alimony or child support.
First lady has zero idea what feminism is.
She sees feminism through the lenses of the incel. - "Angry women who hate men and are unhappy because they can't find men."
These people speak so confidently about "tradition" without knowing what they're adopting is not at all old but very new.
The overwhelming majority of cultures througout time have had anyone who was able nbodied to work. You did something. Yes,some things were assigned for men/women but everyone got done what needed to be done.
...just like now.
14:44 I like her analogy but as someone with a pension whose employer pays a decent chunk into every month, once I stop working I'll still have an income. Stay at home parents need a long term plan and a plan B, C and D
I wish the people who glorify being a tradwife realized that the woman wasnt a trad wife, she was a wife who wasnt not getting paid for her services. Those women were expected to manage the house, bookkeep, raise the kids, manage the household staff, etc. And the sad part is, only a small percentage of women actually had that luxury. Every other woman had to work a low paying job on top of doing all the domestic duties at home. Let's be made aware that many of the stay at home moms were on drug. Mom's little helpers were medication prescribed to women to help them cope with the lifestyle so many other women idolize. Also, being subject to the whims of a man is a death sentence. How many more 40 something divorced tradwives must we see before these women take the hint? Your security is based on whether or not your husband continues to like you and want you. Its the same with a job but at least you leave a job with either a pension, 401k and or an unemployment check.
I'm not a "Boss Babe" by any stretch of the imagination. I am a woman who was raised to be able to "stand on my own" and not look for a man to rescue me! I would've STARVED TO DEATH! Wouldn't have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of!
When I read through comments and posts at young ladies and women who placed blind trust in men and got left behind......And those women/young ladies w/o anything after high school to fall back on are left looking pitiful!!!
This is a new word "trad wife" it is actually stay at home mom. You can be a sahm but be smart too!
make sure you will not be screwed on the divorce
Trad wife is an influencer lifestyle pushed largely by Mormon cultists to misrepresent the experience of being a stay at home wife and trick young girls into religiously minded gender roles. Stay at home wife is just a wife that stays at home and can mean all sorts of situations.
@@veronica5lmaa And within the marriage too.
Any STAHWM?! I feel I am the only one. 🤷🏽♀️😌
@@sg5720 do u mean stay at home working moms?
People who try to say the trad wife lifestyle is the way it’s always been historically are lying to you. The idea that a woman should stay at home and look after the kids and family, is a ideology that existed for a short amount of time between the 50s and 80s. If you look further back in history to the early 1900s and 1800s, women often worked outside of the home. Only a very small percentage of wealthy women could afford to be at home. The majority of working class women worked as teachers, maids, seamstress, secretaries, nurses, nannies, farmhands ect.
Thank you for the historical reminding
2:33 I don’t understand how some people can’t just get the point, there’s nothing wrong with doing these things if you choose to do these things, however, make sure your back is covered if you do. You don’t need to climb a whole corporate ladder, (and I don’t know why everyone acts like the only job women do is in corporate stuff or “girlbossing”? We are regular civilians with different types of jobs as well. Besides the point), before deciding to have a family. But have something, an education, a little bit of job experience, something so that if ish hits the fan, you’re not left destitute trying to figure out how you’re going to feed yourself OR you AND your children. For whatever reason, ish can hit the fan. Even back then women weren’t technically supposed to be going into marriages with nothing to fall back on. That’s why they had dowries. This idea of going into a marriage, forgoing a job, having no money that is designated to the woman specifically to protect or take care of her, that IS technically fringe. And that is a more modern take on the original stay at home mom idea.
The women shaming feminism do not understand it. It's not to FORCE women to go into the workforce or forgo having kids. It's to give women the OPTION to do those things.
I’m sorry but listening to these women makes me so depressed because it’s so classist, I hate living in a capitalist economy and having to have two incomes to survive, but I can’t afford anything else. How dare these women tell me I don’t love my child or keeping my home clean or cooking healthy meals for me and my family when I would love to not have to work and stay home with my baby and pursue my hobbies and keep a home but I literally do not have the funds to. None of them are real tradwives, none of them are taking care of the children, making dinner for a huge family, working a trade from home, managing household funds, taking care of farm animals, crops etc. They’re rich roleplayers who have the audacity to tell us that we should abandon our livelihoods because otherwise we hate our children and husbands.
What boss babe atmosphere we grew up in? Girl did we watch the same movies in the 2000s? Or listen to the same songs? 😂
To be fair, I can think of a lot of boss babe type movies/songs from that era!
These women on UA-cam are earning a living performing. It's work too.
MY roots are not a mother sitting at home with children... My mother worked professionally, my grandmother too. My great-grandmother did not work professionally but... she toiled in the countryside. Seriously, it has nothing to do with the traditional old family format. These ladies on social media pretend something, act, it's theater. Traditionally, a woman, unless she was a countess, toiled in the countryside giving birth to more children, often dying during the next delivery. And the feminists hated by these tradwifes...won them a choice. A woman has a choice today.
I have never felt more seen and heard than I do right now in this comment section. ❤ seriously thank you ladies. You are all amazing humans.
I cook and clean and dress feminine and spoil my man, but I live alone. My boyfriend comes over and stays with me sometimes for a few days at a time, and then leaves and gives me space for a bit. I don't want kids and he knows I will not change my mind.
My point is, you can "play house" and do things that traditional women do without committing 100% to a traditional lifestyle. I think a lot of people want their traditional aesthetic but that's just a level of commitment and a lifestyle that doesn't work for everyone.
I recommend that women build a stable life for themselves where all their needs are taken care of and then look for a relationship. Depending on someone else for your survival just spells disaster down the road in my mind.
@@wearesatellites91 YES! Exactly! You get it! I want to be in a relationship because we make each other happy and it's emotionally fulfilling. Not because I depend on them to pay my bills and for me to survive!
@@likeabun Well said. Not truly getting to know one’s souse and seeing them as a means of survival are some of the reasons why these trad-wives end up in awful relationships. Especially the religious ones who get married young because they don’t have that wider perspective.
24:54 great insight on the consistency of processed food vs inconsistency of home made food! Makes perfect sense!
I agree completely! That lady is brilliant!
This was a brilliant lightbulb moment, both as I assess my childhood and as I and my husband plan how we’d like our new solid food-eater will be fed.
In the US, the Social Security retirement benefit is based on your highest 35 years of earnings and the age you start receiving benefits. If you have fewer than 35 years of earnings, they use a zero for each year without earnings. Therefore, years with no earnings reduce your retirement benefit amount.
This is why I will always either have my own business or continue working as a nurse… always protect yourself financially
I was never a trad wife or a SAHM because my then husband and I could never afford it. I was happy with it because I'm a really social person and I loved the job I had before I got married. Welp we hit a snag ten years in when I deconverted from our shared religion. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but I was the same person I was before, just didn't believe in a god or wanted to go to church. It was difficult to get him to open up about his feelings on it, but when he gave me a peek, I was horrified.
We were in the living room and I was trying to get what was going through his mind, and I said to him, "I know it's hard to think about, because it's scary thinking the person you love is going to hell." and he replied with, "No, I just wanted to have a Christian wife." It was like someone took a sledge hammer to my foundation and smashed it into pieces. He had said a few things here and there that cracked it during the last six months of our marriage, but that last comment is what shattered it. I realized he didn't love me because I am me, he just loved having a wife with a certain status.
These poor “trad wife” women are gonna learn the hard way about the male. I lasted only 6 years in my marriage. If I didn’t have a degree and the ability to leave, he’d have eventually unalived me. It’s great that you’re young and beautiful, and that makes you easy to “love.” Just wait until you become ill, get injured, or don’t look/function that same. Wait until his eyes start to wander when you’re 40; you will be trapped and impoverished.
26:19 sir why are you gayyyyyyyyyyyy?
Sirrrrr you understood us
lol
You go right on and depend on a man for your financing. If something happens to him-death or he runs off, what will you do to feed your children? Don’t play yourselves Ladies-bring home a paycheck in some form or fashion-it doesn’t matter if you just press the go button at the car wash. Bring home a check. Know the passwords to the bank accounts.
2:08 😂😂😂😂
The faq is she talking about? She wants to go back to her roots of something she probably doesn't even know 😂
It’s so sad to hear the story of the woman who gave up her whole life to a man who saw her as nothing but a housekeeper and sex object. I hope God spares me from men like this. I would rather die alone that enter an early grave because of a man.
Married almost 22 years, raised my kids and love and loved it all.
One kid out the door and 3 more years to go for our other to graduate… don’t regret it one bit!
11:26 ladies, ladies m, ladies. They don’t move on quickly becise they don’t know how to take care for himself. That’s only the superficial reason, the s symptom of what’s actually going on.
Jennifer on quickly because she was a fool, an object, like a pair of scissors. When a pair packs up, you just get another one. That means he could never love her….bc she’s an object to him, he can never be loyal…bc she’s an object. One CANNOT be loyal to AN OBJECT.
The fact that they objectify women, THAT is proof they are incapable of loving WOMEN, THAT is proof he will cheat. If he bangs you out like it’s all about him, he will cheat he will leave you, he will move on quickly.
The courts are siding more and more with the men in this. If you are a career woman you could find yourself paying alimony or child support. this is why the men fight so hard for custody now. The woman is told to reconsider the divorce. Forgive the infidelity or other indiscretions of the husband and work it out. Get marriage counseling. Get therapy if you are having a hard time forgiving. If you are a trad wife and you want to be compensated for all you've done the courts will tell you if you want to be taken care of, stay married.
Fuck marriage!
When our country had a family based economy instead of a corporate based economy, that we now, have, it was much different. Most families had their own mom and pop business or farm. Husbands and wives worked closely together. Also men could not just divorce their wives. They had to prove she committed adultery.
We need to go back to a family based economy instead of a corporate based economy. In a free market there are no corporations because the government doesn’t charter corporations in a free market.
Those men who want a traditional marriage are insane. IN THIS ECONOMY!? How could they support a family with one salary? They are so selfish and immature, they put their children and themselves in poverty because they want a fulltime servant. Shocker with less income, a family is more predisposed to poverty, the children can be exploited or get into shady business for money. Poor families can offer their kids few or no opportunities because they're poor. It's sickening how much pain can selfishness and stupidity breed.
And shocker, women did work in those "traditional times".
So few people understand the reality, especially the reality of family and family life.
Women who came from poverty worked in the house, in the fields, sold the harvest, made cheese and sold it, sold hand sewed clothes, some had jobs working for the rich as maids, tutors, cooks.
I like staying home primarily because I am an autistic woman who struggles TREMENDOUSLY with socializing and with being away from my comfort zone. As a SAHM, I get the freedom every single day to honor my energy levels (mental, emotional, and physical) and I am able to live in my cozy, calm, quiet atmosphere. I'm able to nerd out too, because I homeschool my kids part-time (and then I get the break from them on the days they go to school.)
I obviously hope to never lose my husband. But I can truly say that I've lived longer because of these relaxed last 15 years. If I'd been in the workforce that whole time, my mental health would be way worse off.
That’s great, but you still need to have a plan in case something happens.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 No, you don't. We have life insurance if he passes, but that's it. You don't have to have a contingency plan for every unlikely thing that might happen in life. Sometimes you just cross that bridge if you come to it.
Working for free for a roof over your head is actually called slavery/servitude... this is why women need to start demanding to be paid. I heard some dudes claiming kids dont need child support bc the mom will be paying for the house and electric anyways and the extra people there dont take up more electric. Use that logic for this. The dude would already have the house and all these bills with out her so shes not actually using anything.... wow! Now pay her for nabysitting yoir kid. You know how we say dads babysit their kids.. maybe we should start saying that about moms.... so they will get valued for it.
I will at least suggest that you get a degree that is I. A feild that is lucrative, so if anything happens to your husband you can work, and support yourself and your children.
He has to choose you every day and if he decides that you are not it, you are out on your @$$ with no money and no skills. Hell to the no! My mother taught me better.
That uncle Danny story is appalling. The Uncle Dannys of the world are why women are forgoing marriage.
26:18 “I’m gay, obviously” 😂 it wasn’t obvious, and also slightly disappointing at the realization that a lot of straight men lack this kind of common sense
lol
Trad wife: I remember seeing my grandmother’s washing machine: a wringer and washboard (1930’s and 40’s) good luck with your manicure when you go back to the trad wife roots
Edit: a “modern” washing machine was a huge expense that my grandfather at that time couldn’t manage
At the last part of the video, there's this clip of a young man calling out the hypocrisy of other young men who couldn't finance a middle-class family style but want to have a trad wife. I was happily surprised. I thought, "OMG! Finally, a man who understand! And he looks cute too. Is he single?"
Then at the end of the clip he said, "Obviously, I am gay."
And I was like... 😭😭😭😭😭😭
The reality is some women will be career women. Some women will be stay at home wives and moms and some women will mix it up. In all these scenarios women will run some risks. That is the long and the short of it. Fighting over which one is best is getting old. Find which situation best suits you and go for it.
Go for it, but be smart about it. It’s far more risky to be a SAHM/ tradwife than it is to be a working mom.
For women who still have the absurd fantasy of getting married... I suggest that with the help of a lawyer you draft a prenuptial document in which you establish, among other requirements, that your Prince-husband pays you 10k monthly, as compensation for house chores, and in case you have children; then your Prince-husband pays 10k per month for each child born; in addition to the 10k for house chores.
As for compensations for every time your Prince-Husband has to pay you for infidelity... I'll leave that up to you. 🤨
Women, open your eyes. Take off the tiara from your head, tear off your fairy wings, and get off the pony. For men, marriage has always been a business, in which the only beneficiaries are them.🧐
Start separating emotions and feelings from reason, and start thinking with your head. Think like a businesswoman, because that's what marriage is... Business! 🤨🤨
You do know you can literally PAY for everything you mentioned for like 1/4 of that.
Melonie out here doing the lorde’s work! ❤
The og manager... is the wife.
Wait until she aged and he’s sick of her 😂
If you're a content creator thats a job, you are not a trad wife. And you are doing it to make yoir own money.
Thanks for this video.
It sounds like she speaking of herself and her children like their pets
The thing that people forget is that the "traditional lifestyle" was due to the fact that wome back then wasn't allowed to WORK! So yea, of course they stayed home.
They're fighting for their lives and the lives of their children. They likely don't have a viable way to support themselves even in a more modest fashion.
They will grow out of the picky eating eventually. Just you wait. ❤
The poor baby is the first video
9:30 so sad
Is it that easy to open a business or an llc ? I feel like people keep making it seem like it's super easy, which is great if it is. I'm asking for myself 😂
A lot of the women that endorse 'trad wife' lifestyle refuse to understand everyone has a unique perspective towards life. For this, i need to credit Ballerina Farms as she has never once endorsed everyone to do what she does. Showcasing is very very different from endorsing. Everyone is learning as they go. There is no one way to achieve a fulfilling life. Basically, people need to STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES (i.e. Mind your own business).
Yeah but the problem is that young women and teenagers are seeing this content and believing in the false reality of it all. So they throw themselves at men, hoping to stay home and live a soft life, neglecting their own education and security. It’s dangerous and as a teacher, I’m watching it happen.
BF doesn’t even live the way she preaches, but her content does have an undertone of “this is the right way to live”. You don’t have to outright say something to say it.
14:39 she is wrong about the definition
💙🤍💙
being a tradwife is my dream since the early 2000. My family thought i was crazy to wanted that kind of style and now it's trendy. I feel i was born in the wrong eras.
Get an education first. If you are going to be homeschooling your kids it will be necessary
If you were born in the 50’s you’d be saying the same thing. Getting beat and popping pills to take care of kids and a husband you’ve come to hate is not the life you think it is.
I came from generations of health happy traditional wives. It’s very rare to divorce in true traditional marriages. Marriage to my king for 30 years! Traditional marriage isn’t for everyone..I handle 💯of our finances.
I come from generations of exploited, abused women who never divorced because they couldn't afford it.
@@Gloomyauttumngoodness Sorry to hear that. My mother, grandmothers and great grandmothers were loved and adored by their husbands.
@@OneIncomeSuperSaver My parents, my husband's parents, and all four sets of our grandparents were happily married til death did them part. Although they weren't all trad wives, I think it must be so rare to have that legacy! We are blessed. :)
@@neurodivercyndi It’s very rare for traditional marriages to end in divorces. I only know of one traditional marriage that ended in divorce in my town.
@@wearesatellites91 Just stating the facts. When you marry for love and you both share the same family values it makes marriage more easy..less stressful, less fighting and less chances of cheating