The issue with communication between men and women is men want women to understand what the facts of what we're saying women want men to understand what they feel and those 2 things clash
Feelings don’t give direction and lead to sporadic or no execution. Facts deal with reality and/or the root cause, giving clarity and direction for execution. Men want to solve the problem, women want to talk about it.
@@dduffy7271I get it. I’m with you for the most part however feeling is an essential trait that we need to learn how to use. It’s a balancing tool for facts.
you need some punctuation for your run on sentence, i thought i was having a stroke, i have to watch the video still to know what you are getting at lmao
This is yet another example of how open emotionally intelligent men can be in conversation by not making excuses with a woman that struggles to acknowledge female shortcomings. The biggest point was the idea of food being the biggest killer of people and women having to take ownership of the responsibility they have being the primary source of food and nutrition for their families. It's a tough pill to swallow but it's needed.
She is still listening to respond. She also uses her specific anecdotal personal experience to push back on the two brother's perspective about women in general. Not only that but she's dating a woman not a man. Another thing I find unfortunate is that the two men will openly speak about men's shortcomings or avenues of improvement. She seems incapable of doing the same for women without adding a caveat like "but men....ect "
Exactly but Allen won’t acknowledge this comment tho, too much truth, too much oh she made “progress” towards the end and even in that “progress” was cussin mans out in her head.
I say this, how can black heterosexual men learn to listen to lesbian women who say they love the black men in the community, but spend there good years with women???
Listening... Men are the best listeners. We hear EVERYTHING lol. What we actually choose to retain depends on the amount of words being used. We can ALL agree that the female delegation utilizes way more words than necessary.
HOOOOLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!!! This is crazy!!!!! In real time she is doing exactly what you told her the other ladies were doing....there is some high level cognitive dissonance ... OMG @wnttalk you are killing it my boi!!!!
Nothing personal against the girl in this but I FAIL to see her contribution as fully applicable when she doesn't doesn't date or is physically intimate with men🤷🏾♂️. She admits she has a female partner. It's like asking a foot doctor about the nuances of heart surgery...
I'm there with you on that. I really am having a hard time with that. I'm not knocking her or her relationship. However, she has already made the decision to "opt out" on men. So I don't feel as if she doesn't have anything valuable to add, but trying to speak as from masculine/feminine point of view is confusing. We are not the same. She as basically already stated she doesn't trust men but is pro black. That's her value in this; not her take on the value of black men in relationships with black women. All respect. Sharp woman, wrong arena.
@@othellologos8225 Exactly my point. I can't see how the host thought she'd be a good souding board for the STRAIGHT female POV. Her opinions are base around her "past dealing with men" and then she made the switch to the other side. I fail to see her empathizing with men and men's needs vis-a-vie from a woman's perspective where she's made it her personal business not to deal with men on a romantic level. And when you view her responses the from this specific type of lense, you have to ask yourself, is it the "baggage of not wanting to deal with men" that fuels her perpective and opinions, or is she taking her biases out of it and reporting from a straight female's perspective. I think it's a fair question I'd love to ask. I think if she's faced with this question she'll just be pissed. By her own admission, she doesn't read the comments and this is probably why.🤷🏾♂🤷🏾♂
Unfortunately I can’t watch your content when she’s on the panel. She’s not speaking to the relationship between men and women, she doesn’t date men so her perspective doesn’t match up with the overall conversation.
I think this conversation was better than episode 1 (which was good as well). There were times where I was frustrated because I think the female guest was listening to respond to what was said as opposed to understanding it, I think as the conversation kept going, she eventually started truly listening more and somewhat getting the point. Great work!
@@wnttalk That’s the I unfortunate reality. Folks have to watch the videos in their entirety to truly comprehend perspectives and context. Nonetheless, I’m still a fan of the work. It’s a necessary conversation. I don’t typically be in comments for videos too often. But I know how important this is. Hope more folks pay attention as well.
@@wnttalkit’s also that you have a lesbian talking about heterosexual issues. Either you owe her money or she’s related to you. I’m not watching this based on that alone. What can I learn about heterosexual women from a lesbian. She doesn’t even understand what attracts women to men, and what makes us stay. Foh
What Jah said at the 37 minute mark is FACTS! The most obvious example of this is women choosing to sleep with a man who got 7 kids and 3 different baby mommas. They don’t mind risking being baby momma #4 even though they KNOW this dude is no good. Why?? Because he’s charming, he’s funny, he makes her comfortable. Tale as old as time lol (Drastic example but you get my point)
she has what I call a circular mindset. It starts at a point of view that only fits her emotions and narrative... she hears what is said as the circle goes around but she uses that information to confirm her initial point. Which goes back in a circle of the same thought process over and over lol the circle does not expand lol
She said "You dont process like i want you to". If you had better communication skills this wouldnt be a problem. That applies to both men and women. Men we'll get straight to the point, but thats what works with men. Women will add this extra shit based on how they felt at the moment. So the same way WE MEN have to adjust our speech when talking to women, WOMEN also have to adjust their speech when talking to me. Why is her assumption that its just our lack of communicating like them, thats the problem? Womens lack of communicating like us is also a problem that needs to fix. Adults seem to have no problen adjusting their way of speaking when communicating with a child, with a coworker, with a judge, with any other category of human. Somehow we only have this problem when its female vs male lol. Think about it
Her favorite default is .. “but men too “ she spends little to no time extrapolating with the guys via dialogue because she has conceded that we don’t “understand” . What she means is “you don’t agree with me ? It’s because you don’t understand “
Men do not be silent, speak your mind express your concerns and have your standards. Your position as a man is not indicative solely on your ability to acquire resources.
I agree with her saying we have to be able to speak on things that makes us uncomfortable, especially within a relationship. What I think is missing is that men, for the most part have already been dealing with women, stating what issues they have with us or how we deal with them in that spectrum. Now, men have started to say things that they don’t like, feel uncomfortable with, or would like done better, and women tend to not be able to sit, listen and digest it without becoming defensive, and then throwing back the complaints which they’ve already been making prior. I assume the excuses, due to the fact that they are seen as being more connected to the emotional state it stops them from being able to take in that information without it, garnering a rebuttal in the form of a complaint.
How do you have this conversation with a lesbian!!! She has no clue what’s going on between men and women she sees relationships and dating in a whole different dynamic!!!
she brought up her brother helping her, protecting her and teaching her how to fight…. My question idk her situation but if brother was raised by a single mother but he’s been with his high school sweetheart. Who taught him the great qualities he’s exuding to the sister and wife that loves him so much as someone raised without a father along with some of my friends, we all have story of someone man that wasn’t dad or part of the family that helped us in our way and even now we share what we learn with each other. You rarely see older women helping the younger generation of women and when they try to there backlash or when they do it on a financial standpoint. That I think a a big issues in the community I think there more honestly men now as role models even with all the BS than we have women role models
32:32 "whos to blame" is a childish way of looking at it. YOU are the only common denominator in those situations, and you can only control YOU therefore, we only need to talk about what you can do to avoid ending up with dudes that are like that. Its not only about whos at fault
She's making the old point of women wanting men to process information the way women do. And if they don't, then men have a flawed way of processing information. And that's why she, and women, are going to be stuck into their same position of frustration. Because the key point is that men don't expect women to be like men. They don't want women to be like men. And they recognize that it's better when women are women and don't try to be like men. Whereas she's doing the same things that her friends are doing that she said have the same frustration with the same little things. Expecting and wanting men to be like women because she thinks everything would be better if men were more like women. And that's not going to happen. And her "just wanting to be heard...." really isn't that she's not being heard. It's that men aren't being like women. Men are hearing her, as well as all the other women who say the same thing she's said. But men can hear women and may not necessarily feel the same way after hearing women. And that's what women are trying to demand. That if you heard me then you'd feel the same way. It's the video "It's Not About The Nail". Men heard your complaints about the nail in your head. But they are never going to come to the same way of thinking of hearing women complain about the nail, but don't want to hear men ever say "then take the nail out of your head.." Men will make a conscious effort to appease women by "making you feel heard..." but just listening about the nail. But they're not going to "make you feel heard..." a third time about the nail. They're going to tell you go talk to your girlfriends about the nail. Pop culture for a while now has been trying to convince men that there's something wrong with them because they don't won't to listen to women talk about the nail. Everything good we have is because men would say "just take the nail out of your head...."
We all need to be better listeners and understand that We are built differently and we have to absorb and process all conversation as a learning curve and not a argument or a debate, life is all about listening and trying to understand and receive both sides,point, and feelings etc! Respecting your spouse and having communication daily, is imperative for any successful relationship,it requires work, love, perspective and courage to work together as a TEAM!
55:26 she talks about checking homework as though kids don't get smart enough to not have to check up on them WHEN you do teach them to be accountable for themselves, girl those kids want to learn to live, no only will they do their homework they will also help you with house chores, step up, y'all had all the credit, NOW we are EQUALING out the negatives, take it, LISTEN and adjust PLEASE. 🙄🙏🏽🤦🏽
IDGAF what you already "told" me to do. I'm not your child. My wife would never!! She understands i forget things, or it may be low on the priority list, or she may have to actively help me re-prioritize. But more than anything, she understands i am busy juggling a lot of hats and need grace....just like i give her. Dafuq!!!
This woman and many American woman struggle in communication bc they think they are being crystal clear without realizing that they are not. And when ever they make an error in communicating they just want a mulligan. So they are rarely impeccable with their word. So ladies of you can strive to be impeccable with your words assuming you do not get a second chance then you will learn to communicate better. Men honestly don't need to do much more than take a beat to acknowledge that you heard her and validate her feelings before responding.
I find it funny that you never hear these complaints from single fathers. They never complain about how hard it is to take care of the children how much time they don’t have to cook good food for them or just anything about fatherhood. I guess the protect and provide aspect of being a man just helps them deal with it without seeing how much they have to deal with. Another funny statistic is that most men who is single fathers, never put the mothers on child support, or even accept it when it’s there to be had. Also, people keep saying women have to deal with so much, but I prefer to think that they’re dealing with the same things they’ve always dealt with. They just look down on the aspect of managing the home while the man is outside, seemingly having more freedom. Grandmothers and mothers have done it before with no problem because motherhood was something that they understood and accepted wholeheartedly, whereas today women don’t gravitate to that likely hood the same way because they’re more focused on what else they feel they could be or should be doing outside of that home.
She’s saying women don’t feel “seen or heard” but that’s literally why men are having this conversation bc they’ve BEEN feeling the exact same way w/ less resources and with less championing of their position.
Women THINK they are better communicators when in fact they just use a lot more words without really saying anything other than what they FEEL. And what they FEEL is usually not based in facts and reality.
Anyone dealing with a woman needs to know how she feels... If you don't wanna know how she feels, find a woman you don't mind caring about and listening to... 😅
Shes arrogant like most feminist. Because they asked her why they were coming in in bad faith and her answer is that men communicate different so they just didnt understand 😂😂. The arrogance to assume that what was REALLY happening was men not keepin up 😂😂
At 16:25 she litterally says the opposite of what she said in episode 1! She previously said she would tell men that made less than her that they "are going to pipe down when talking [to her]" and that if he's not paying bills then what does she need him for. Now she states she "has never cared about someone's financial stance because I was raised to go and get it for myself". Bihhh....
It’s interesting, she claims she didn’t go back to read comments. If she was going purely by the video, it sure sounds like she assumed Episode 1 showed a negative side to her, therefore she did a lot of explaining and she didn’t like how she looks when she has to look in a mirror. This explains why women would go on KS, and show their true self, then after they get a chance to look at themselves, they beg him to take the video down.
I can see how women and men’s speaking points differ based on they perspective, but it’s not an excuse for simply diverting from the core of the question. Whether there is a long story the points being made should connect to the call of the question.
She didn’t even have an answer to how men could be better at better understanding what women are saying, she just said, find someone who helps bring that out of you. Smh.
I like the non cursing and non yelling and non cutting people off. The female contradicting her own words in less than two minutes is a problem for me.
12:35 min in and still sense that she is gonna give the same " I hear men general points and i'm still going to put my individual experience in front of them". Again it's exhausting, draining ! At some point we gonna have to integrate a woman or two who did their work to really understand men and got some strong logical sense to talk along with Allen cause really many women can not listen to men words unless they are said by another woman. This is sad but this is a reality
Looking forward to episode 3 I feel like we were actually getting somewhere before y’all stopped. I don’t understand why she getting so much animosity, we’re witnessing progression in real time. Y’all mfs need to patiently wait and try to understand where she’s coming from. She was bringing up some good talking points. It’s hard to gather all your ideas in real time, not to include in front of the world. Y’all need to do some reflection if you can’t sit and listen to someone trying to give you their perspective. Anyways you two brothers were refined as usual. I appreciate the work that you doing. I look forward to the next project.
Unfortunately, Sis leads with her Ego. Therefore, she will not be able to fully comprehend nor will she be receptive enough to fully listen to anyone. Too self-centered to see beyond herself 🤷🏿♂️
Did she really try to compare repeatedly making poor choices in who she dates with....stubbing your toe on the bed post? How can a person who thinks this way actually learn and grow from their mistakes?!?
Does she speak for the female delegation because she is verbalizing that she has the same issues as if she were with a man? That would be more of an indictment of her choices or maybe women in general.
Men have learned to silence their voice and simply take on burden and weighed down. And then the lady says oh ok so whats funny is that .... she explains that she was taking on masculinity. Of stifling her voice and taking on a burden that was completely uncomfortable she had to take a deep breath as she said it. Its traumatizing to be in masculinty. This was such a short video compared to episode 1 but it was more focused to be sure. Cant wait for episode 3
Metaphorically speaking, this is your platform…But, you do not invite motorcycle racer to a Formula 1 race car driver meeting …2 wheels vs. 4 wheels among other things.
If we've come to the conclusion that marriage is dying and more people don't want children and family, then why not accept the reality and adapt accordingly? Go with a plan from young of having you own and openly dating whoever satisfies you that day that week or that year. Do men really want long term relationships if there is no hope of children , why give away your freedom for companionship? When variety of personalities, cultures and body types is always option for a man or woman that doesnn't need someone for survival?
At 16:00 the brothers comment about women not allowing a “janitor” to have a voice is ludicrous other races of women will still respect and differ to their man off of the strength of him being the man and protector of the home.
A more interesting conversation could’ve been had if they just brought a gay man on to talk with her. She can complain about her problems with men, and he will complain about his problems with women. She’s not interested in a nuclear relationships or family, it goes against her life narrative.
All her friends that are married? First thing, married women shouldn’t engage with her, she’s toxic to a heterosexual relationship. Notice “her friends that are married” are sharing the negative side of their marriage with her. (Trauma bonding) her married friends obviously know who to talk negatively about their husbands, she’s in her friend life for a reason.
She keeps saying communicate and communicate. The "way" and frequency with which women communicate about the smallest things can drive a man crazy. How many times do you want to spend 3 hours talking about how you "feel" about a smile, how I just said "mmm" when you spoke to me. How my mother unconsciously did not smile when you made a joke. Meanwhile, I have the weight of the world on my shoulders trying to provide for the same you, who seems to have all the time to spend talking and talking about how I genuinely and with valid justification, forgot to take out the trash. Shockingly, when i even utter a word about how i feel, you dismiss it
42 min mark, its for the future generations ma'ma not you. You are looking for solutions for present, the men are talking about the future. You are not listening.
I appreciate the effort but she’s not curious enough for much of this to be insightful/beneficial. I’m curious what others are taking away from this conversation though
She still not making sence; "In order to understand or drive home your point, you can't go straight to it, You have to take a detour"🤦🏾 Be clear and punctual when you speak with FEW words to obtain Greater understanding. Speaking more doesn't bring Greater understanding, more so it brings the opposite and can diminish the value of one's point or perspective.. Speak less, an attribute of Stoicism🧔🏾♂️
Earlier Alan says men need an incentive, 29 min mark Jah starts explaining not listening vs not listening vs listening with incentive and she completely misses the communication. We are linear thinkers and she knows it, yet still misses the message. Then jumps to men dont communicate while both men listen 🙄...reality vs delusional listening. Try some of your own work on yourself medicine ma am. Its working out great. (Sarcasm)
Genuine question. Not trying to sound insensitive. And I agree women have their fair share of work to do... Why do yall think women have to change in order for men to change? Why do you think men are incapable of being dynamic? Is that actually the case, or has society allowed for men to be 'simple', or 'linear' as you mentioned? And now that you can articulate that, why not try to be better for the sake of it? And not have the only motivation to do any introspection be for pu$$y? I find that frustrating. There are plenty of men 'capable' of running businesses, dealing with the stresses of catering to clientele, paperwork, the actual service...etc. That's very dynamic. Yet are too simple to not be terrible partners with their significant others? That's wild to me. And sounds lazy. As wages become more equal, and women become more financially independent, there certainly is a power shift happening. Where gender roles are being questioned. And it's to be expected that it can get messy as we try to redefine what a woman and man are / their roles in this shifting society (Add to that the complexities of black culture and its layers). I also get how in this muddy climate, there will be both men and women who have a hard time articulating their roles and what they want, and can thus both sound hypocritical at times. But to accept the continued association of your genders behavior to a dog feels like a cop out. Please advise,
Excellent question and fantastic points!🙏🏿 These are definitely the growing pains our generation and successive generations will have to confront. It ultimately boils down to the age-old Nature vs Nurture debate and personally, I skew Nature but deeply believe that skewing Nurture is the more productive assumption for society building. Men and women have been a certain way for millennia for very specific/productive reasons; These “ways” will not simply change overnight but I’m curious to discover how they shift and why they shift. I’m also curious to juxtapose our new paradigms of masculinity and femininity with old/traditional paradigms. Lets see which ultimately lead to better outcomes in hindsight.
He explained. men have to change and have been changing for women from the start. Just to even get or be with a woman. But what women say they want and actually choose to deal with, are often contradictory and two different things. The men and behaviors women say they don't want are what they choose. This is why nice guys finish last and so forth. Women really don't respect or care about men or what they even want, enough to want to make any changes for them. Men are seen beneath them if they feel impower and entitle, so why change. But women initiate 80% of divorces and relationship brakeups. Have 61% of all the children. Single mother homes account for the vast majority of negative children's outcomes. Most evicted have the highest rate of poverty. Women are losing in almost every matrix. And need the most help. But don't want any accountability or forbid they make changes to be better to build families and communities. They had a major part in placing blame on men.
This lady keeps making things personal “oh I don’t ask men for money” most women want a man with security 🗣️that’s the reality of the situation not your situation
Problem is women are asking men to not be logical! Women rather, we feel and actually be logical and make sense and that’s the problem. We can’t be consumed by your illogical chaos.
You need more women on your podcast to get more diverse perspectives and counter arguments. I feel like the topic is valuable but the meat of the discussion is weak because its one sided without proper rebuttals to some of the points i think are lacking intellectually from a male perspective
Women THINK they are better communicators when in fact they just use a lot more words without really saying anything other than what they FEEL. And what they FEEL is usually not based in facts and reality.
Women THINK they are better communicators when in fact they just use a lot more words without really saying anything other than what they FEEL. And what they FEEL is usually not based in facts and reality.
![what do you bring to...[The Table Episode 1]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EWaQISmpLCU/mqdefault.jpg)
![Women are the Personification of chaos [The Table Episode 5]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AD7EMSb2FYQ/mqdefault.jpg)
A lot of women are emotionally EXPRESSIVE, but it doesn't mean they're emotionally intelligent. 🔥🔥🔥
🔥
Sadly they don't even know the difference. They embrace the term because it makes them feel like they are better than men at something
The issue with communication between men and women is men want women to understand what the facts of what we're saying women want men to understand what they feel and those 2 things clash
💯
Feelings don’t give direction and lead to sporadic or no execution. Facts deal with reality and/or the root cause, giving clarity and direction for execution.
Men want to solve the problem, women want to talk about it.
@@dduffy7271I get it. I’m with you for the most part however feeling is an essential trait that we need to learn how to use. It’s a balancing tool for facts.
@@kingjay1524the men who are getting rewarded aren’t doing that😂😂😂
you need some punctuation for your run on sentence, i thought i was having a stroke, i have to watch the video still to know what you are getting at lmao
"The core of men's anger is like I was lied to"
FACTS!
White Lies that are not important.
This is yet another example of how open emotionally intelligent men can be in conversation by not making excuses with a woman that struggles to acknowledge female shortcomings. The biggest point was the idea of food being the biggest killer of people and women having to take ownership of the responsibility they have being the primary source of food and nutrition for their families. It's a tough pill to swallow but it's needed.
Her triggers so far are responsibility, accountability, generally speaking for women
I know she’s trying but I wish they had a different lady on. She was just responding without processing the information.
Facts definitely need another woman on here she can't articulate the best tbh
It’s because she’s a lesbian
A woman who likes men would also be nice, I know getting pretty hard to find.
She was in the beginning, but I think she shaped up towards the end
@@TyrillCelestinethat first part, thank you for saying this.
She is still listening to respond. She also uses her specific anecdotal personal experience to push back on the two brother's perspective about women in general. Not only that but she's dating a woman not a man.
Another thing I find unfortunate is that the two men will openly speak about men's shortcomings or avenues of improvement.
She seems incapable of doing the same for women without adding a caveat like "but men....ect "
she's totally incapable of being critique for the women side. She is mostly faking it to then be able to put the wrong on the back on men
What you said 💯
Exactly but Allen won’t acknowledge this comment tho, too much truth, too much oh she made “progress” towards the end and even in that “progress” was cussin mans out in her head.
She hated criticism so much but yet can do that to men so easily.
Expects grace but doesn't give it......guys really have to quit normalizing this
I say this, how can black heterosexual men learn to listen to lesbian women who say they love the black men in the community, but spend there good years with women???
Listening... Men are the best listeners. We hear EVERYTHING lol. What we actually choose to retain depends on the amount of words being used. We can ALL agree that the female delegation utilizes way more words than necessary.
HOOOOLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!!!! This is crazy!!!!! In real time she is doing exactly what you told her the other ladies were doing....there is some high level cognitive dissonance ... OMG @wnttalk you are killing it my boi!!!!
😂
Nothing personal against the girl in this but I FAIL to see her contribution as fully applicable when she doesn't
doesn't date or is physically intimate with men🤷🏾♂️. She admits she has a female partner. It's like asking a foot doctor about the nuances of heart surgery...
🎯🎯🎯
I'm there with you on that. I really am having a hard time with that. I'm not knocking her or her relationship. However, she has already made the decision to "opt out" on men. So I don't feel as if she doesn't have anything valuable to add, but trying to speak as from masculine/feminine point of view is confusing. We are not the same. She as basically already stated she doesn't trust men but is pro black. That's her value in this; not her take on the value of black men in relationships with black women. All respect. Sharp woman, wrong arena.
@@othellologos8225 Exactly my point. I can't see how the host thought she'd be a good souding board for the STRAIGHT female POV. Her opinions are base around her "past dealing with men" and then she made the switch to the other side. I fail to see her empathizing with men and men's needs vis-a-vie from a woman's perspective where she's made it her personal business not to deal with men on a romantic level. And when you view her responses the from this specific type of lense, you have to ask yourself, is it the "baggage of not wanting to deal with men" that fuels her perpective and opinions, or is she taking her biases out of it and reporting from a straight female's perspective. I think it's a fair question I'd love to ask. I think if she's faced with this question she'll just be pissed. By her own admission, she doesn't read the comments and this is probably why.🤷🏾♂🤷🏾♂
@@acoqueran Agreed. Her bias is her honesty. Good catch there. Cheers mate 🍻
If anything it’s only doing a good job of pointing out the irony
Unfortunately I can’t watch your content when she’s on the panel. She’s not speaking to the relationship between men and women, she doesn’t date men so her perspective doesn’t match up with the overall conversation.
Likewise. Picture a masculine woman talking about femininity & what men get wrong about women. Smh
I think this conversation was better than episode 1 (which was good as well). There were times where I was frustrated because I think the female guest was listening to respond to what was said as opposed to understanding it, I think as the conversation kept going, she eventually started truly listening more and somewhat getting the point. Great work!
Unfortunately, this one won't get as many views. People like conflict.
@@wnttalk That’s the I unfortunate reality. Folks have to watch the videos in their entirety to truly comprehend perspectives and context. Nonetheless, I’m still a fan of the work. It’s a necessary conversation. I don’t typically be in comments for videos too often. But I know how important this is. Hope more folks pay attention as well.
@@wnttalkit’s also that you have a lesbian talking about heterosexual issues. Either you owe her money or she’s related to you. I’m not watching this based on that alone. What can I learn about heterosexual women from a lesbian. She doesn’t even understand what attracts women to men, and what makes us stay. Foh
@@jospyda1 Thank you my brother!
@@Ghragle- #1 she's Bi-sexual #2 she's far more honest and reasonable than the other seemingly "better" women from episode 1.
What Jah said at the 37 minute mark is FACTS! The most obvious example of this is women choosing to sleep with a man who got 7 kids and 3 different baby mommas. They don’t mind risking being baby momma #4 even though they KNOW this dude is no good. Why?? Because he’s charming, he’s funny, he makes her comfortable. Tale as old as time lol (Drastic example but you get my point)
she has what I call a circular mindset. It starts at a point of view that only fits her emotions and narrative... she hears what is said as the circle goes around but she uses that information to confirm her initial point. Which goes back in a circle of the same thought process over and over lol the circle does not expand lol
She said "You dont process like i want you to". If you had better communication skills this wouldnt be a problem. That applies to both men and women. Men we'll get straight to the point, but thats what works with men. Women will add this extra shit based on how they felt at the moment. So the same way WE MEN have to adjust our speech when talking to women, WOMEN also have to adjust their speech when talking to me. Why is her assumption that its just our lack of communicating like them, thats the problem? Womens lack of communicating like us is also a problem that needs to fix. Adults seem to have no problen adjusting their way of speaking when communicating with a child, with a coworker, with a judge, with any other category of human. Somehow we only have this problem when its female vs male lol. Think about it
Her favorite default is .. “but men too “ she spends little to no time extrapolating with the guys via dialogue because she has conceded that we don’t “understand” . What she means is “you don’t agree with me ? It’s because you don’t understand “
Men do not be silent, speak your mind express your concerns and have your standards. Your position as a man is not indicative solely on your ability to acquire resources.
I agree with her saying we have to be able to speak on things that makes us uncomfortable, especially within a relationship. What I think is missing is that men, for the most part have already been dealing with women, stating what issues they have with us or how we deal with them in that spectrum. Now, men have started to say things that they don’t like, feel uncomfortable with, or would like done better, and women tend to not be able to sit, listen and digest it without becoming defensive, and then throwing back the complaints which they’ve already been making prior. I assume the excuses, due to the fact that they are seen as being more connected to the emotional state it stops them from being able to take in that information without it, garnering a rebuttal in the form of a complaint.
Shawty said she used to be a very hard person 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 nah you never stopped
Woman seem to see men through a pin hole. They seem to have tunnel vision for one type of man.
How do you have this conversation with a lesbian!!! She has no clue what’s going on between men and women she sees relationships and dating in a whole different dynamic!!!
she brought up her brother helping her, protecting her and teaching her how to fight….
My question idk her situation but if brother was raised by a single mother but he’s been with his high school sweetheart.
Who taught him the great qualities he’s exuding to the sister and wife that loves him so much
as someone raised without a father along with some of my friends, we all have story of someone man that wasn’t dad or part of the family that helped us in our way and even now we share what we learn with each other.
You rarely see older women helping the younger generation of women and when they try to there backlash or when they do it on a financial standpoint.
That I think a a big issues in the community I think there more honestly men now as role models even with all the BS than we have women role models
Im curious as to why you have a representative for woman who isnt attracted to men discussing the relationships between men and women.
10:03 BROOOOOOO OMG U NAILED IT DEFINITELY!!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I just finished episode 2 and you know what..... I'm going to keep watching. I like it.
Don't listen well means I'm not getting what I want. That's a woman's mindset. Goofy all day.
32:32 "whos to blame" is a childish way of looking at it. YOU are the only common denominator in those situations, and you can only control YOU therefore, we only need to talk about what you can do to avoid ending up with dudes that are like that. Its not only about whos at fault
Great convo 👍🏿
She's making the old point of women wanting men to process information the way women do. And if they don't, then men have a flawed way of processing information.
And that's why she, and women, are going to be stuck into their same position of frustration. Because the key point is that men don't expect women to be like men. They don't want women to be like men. And they recognize that it's better when women are women and don't try to be like men.
Whereas she's doing the same things that her friends are doing that she said have the same frustration with the same little things. Expecting and wanting men to be like women because she thinks everything would be better if men were more like women.
And that's not going to happen.
And her "just wanting to be heard...." really isn't that she's not being heard. It's that men aren't being like women.
Men are hearing her, as well as all the other women who say the same thing she's said. But men can hear women and may not necessarily feel the same way after hearing women. And that's what women are trying to demand. That if you heard me then you'd feel the same way.
It's the video "It's Not About The Nail".
Men heard your complaints about the nail in your head. But they are never going to come to the same way of thinking of hearing women complain about the nail, but don't want to hear men ever say "then take the nail out of your head.."
Men will make a conscious effort to appease women by "making you feel heard..." but just listening about the nail. But they're not going to "make you feel heard..." a third time about the nail. They're going to tell you go talk to your girlfriends about the nail. Pop culture for a while now has been trying to convince men that there's something wrong with them because they don't won't to listen to women talk about the nail.
Everything good we have is because men would say "just take the nail out of your head...."
Let's go, Obi. Let's go!
This chick didn’t take accountability for anything plus she is with a woman?… get her out of here
We all need to be better listeners and understand that We are built differently and we have to absorb and process all conversation as a learning curve and not a argument or a debate, life is all about listening and trying to understand and receive both sides,point, and feelings etc! Respecting your spouse and having communication daily, is imperative for any successful relationship,it requires work, love, perspective and courage to work together as a TEAM!
Just because a man doesn't agree doesn't mean he doesn't understand.
This is even better than the first video
These women just truly don’t understand how much power they have.
6:01 she right because that hair in the sink from the clippers be sending me 😞
55:26 she talks about checking homework as though kids don't get smart enough to not have to check up on them WHEN you do teach them to be accountable for themselves, girl those kids want to learn to live, no only will they do their homework they will also help you with house chores, step up, y'all had all the credit, NOW we are EQUALING out the negatives, take it, LISTEN and adjust PLEASE. 🙄🙏🏽🤦🏽
Your triggers are your responsibility, recognize that you are triggered and have the self awareness to control yourself.
IDGAF what you already "told" me to do. I'm not your child. My wife would never!! She understands i forget things, or it may be low on the priority list, or she may have to actively help me re-prioritize. But more than anything, she understands i am busy juggling a lot of hats and need grace....just like i give her. Dafuq!!!
This woman and many American woman struggle in communication bc they think they are being crystal clear without realizing that they are not. And when ever they make an error in communicating they just want a mulligan. So they are rarely impeccable with their word.
So ladies of you can strive to be impeccable with your words assuming you do not get a second chance then you will learn to communicate better.
Men honestly don't need to do much more than take a beat to acknowledge that you heard her and validate her feelings before responding.
I find it funny that you never hear these complaints from single fathers. They never complain about how hard it is to take care of the children how much time they don’t have to cook good food for them or just anything about fatherhood. I guess the protect and provide aspect of being a man just helps them deal with it without seeing how much they have to deal with. Another funny statistic is that most men who is single fathers, never put the mothers on child support, or even accept it when it’s there to be had. Also, people keep saying women have to deal with so much, but I prefer to think that they’re dealing with the same things they’ve always dealt with. They just look down on the aspect of managing the home while the man is outside, seemingly having more freedom. Grandmothers and mothers have done it before with no problem because motherhood was something that they understood and accepted wholeheartedly, whereas today women don’t gravitate to that likely hood the same way because they’re more focused on what else they feel they could be or should be doing outside of that home.
It’s difficult to listen to a man who starts everything with “I feel like”… annoying 😂
How about tell me what you “think” … not what you “feel”?
51:00 it's cause THEIR LAZY!
52 min she starts speaking for all women
Just goes to show that more ≠ better
Right at the beginning
“people said that y’all were listening to respond”
Her: “was it men?”
“Yep.”
Her: “y’all just don’t understand “
What?!
She’s saying women don’t feel “seen or heard” but that’s literally why men are having this conversation bc they’ve BEEN feeling the exact same way w/ less resources and with less championing of their position.
Because we dont have a delegation, they way women can have with each other in community, the men are disenfranchised
Women THINK they are better communicators when in fact they just use a lot more words without really saying anything other than what they FEEL. And what they FEEL is usually not based in facts and reality.
Anyone dealing with a woman needs to know how she feels... If you don't wanna know how she feels, find a woman you don't mind caring about and listening to... 😅
@@dy6277 stupid take
@@HuhHaaHYAAAT if you prefer romantic relationships with men... sure! 😅
Shes arrogant like most feminist. Because they asked her why they were coming in in bad faith and her answer is that men communicate different so they just didnt understand 😂😂. The arrogance to assume that what was REALLY happening was men not keepin up 😂😂
She was very arrogant
At 16:25 she litterally says the opposite of what she said in episode 1! She previously said she would tell men that made less than her that they "are going to pipe down when talking [to her]" and that if he's not paying bills then what does she need him for.
Now she states she "has never cared about someone's financial stance because I was raised to go and get it for myself".
Bihhh....
She was better this time around. I respect it.
It’s interesting, she claims she didn’t go back to read comments. If she was going purely by the video, it sure sounds like she assumed Episode 1 showed a negative side to her, therefore she did a lot of explaining and she didn’t like how she looks when she has to look in a mirror. This explains why women would go on KS, and show their true self, then after they get a chance to look at themselves, they beg him to take the video down.
I can see how women and men’s speaking points differ based on they perspective, but it’s not an excuse for simply diverting from the core of the question. Whether there is a long story the points being made should connect to the call of the question.
She didn’t even have an answer to how men could be better at better understanding what women are saying, she just said, find someone who helps bring that out of you. Smh.
Men need to look at the current landscape and do what is best. Waiting for a woman to make you a better man sounds crazy.
That wasn’t his point.
I like the non cursing and non yelling and non cutting people off. The female contradicting her own words in less than two minutes is a problem for me.
12:35 min in and still sense that she is gonna give the same " I hear men general points and i'm still going to put my individual experience in front of them". Again it's exhausting, draining ! At some point we gonna have to integrate a woman or two who did their work to really understand men and got some strong logical sense to talk along with Allen cause really many women can not listen to men words unless they are said by another woman. This is sad but this is a reality
Keyword-I feel like.
And not stifling your voice, saying what you want, what you like and dislike doesn’t mean acting mean and disrespectful with each other.
Looking forward to episode 3 I feel like we were actually getting somewhere before y’all stopped. I don’t understand why she getting so much animosity, we’re witnessing progression in real time. Y’all mfs need to patiently wait and try to understand where she’s coming from. She was bringing up some good talking points. It’s hard to gather all your ideas in real time, not to include in front of the world. Y’all need to do some reflection if you can’t sit and listen to someone trying to give you their perspective. Anyways you two brothers were refined as usual. I appreciate the work that you doing. I look forward to the next project.
Im glad SOMEBODY noticed🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿THANK YOU BROTHER🙏🏿
Men in the red pill do not hate women I really wish people who don’t understand the red pill would stop speaking on it
Why does a woman who has chosen to date get a voice on heterosexual relationships?
Unfortunately, Sis leads with her Ego. Therefore, she will not be able to fully comprehend nor will she be receptive enough to fully listen to anyone. Too self-centered to see beyond herself 🤷🏿♂️
This lady is toxic. She forced her girlfriend to talk?!?!? Leave that one alone and go get one that will talk. DAFUQ
Did she really try to compare repeatedly making poor choices in who she dates with....stubbing your toe on the bed post? How can a person who thinks this way actually learn and grow from their mistakes?!?
Does she speak for the female delegation because she is verbalizing that she has the same issues as if she were with a man? That would be more of an indictment of her choices or maybe women in general.
Lmao we teaching lesbians how to be better men now? 😭🤣😂
Cookie. 😑 Pie.
Men have learned to silence their voice and simply take on burden and weighed down. And then the lady says oh ok so whats funny is that .... she explains that she was taking on masculinity. Of stifling her voice and taking on a burden that was completely uncomfortable she had to take a deep breath as she said it. Its traumatizing to be in masculinty.
This was such a short video compared to episode 1 but it was more focused to be sure. Cant wait for episode 3
Metaphorically speaking, this is your platform…But, you do not invite motorcycle racer to a Formula 1 race car driver meeting …2 wheels vs. 4 wheels among other things.
If we've come to the conclusion that marriage is dying and more people don't want children and family, then why not accept the reality and adapt accordingly?
Go with a plan from young of having you own and openly dating whoever satisfies you that day that week or that year.
Do men really want long term relationships if there is no hope of children , why give away your freedom for companionship? When variety of personalities, cultures and body types is always option for a man or woman that doesnn't need someone for survival?
At 16:00 the brothers comment about women not allowing a “janitor” to have a voice is ludicrous other races of women will still respect and differ to their man off of the strength of him being the man and protector of the home.
And the man becomes what he is bc of some shit a woman told him in a misleading way… don’t understand what she’s not getting about that.
How can you talk about men and women relations with a lesbian 🤔
A more interesting conversation could’ve been had if they just brought a gay man on to talk with her. She can complain about her problems with men, and he will complain about his problems with women. She’s not interested in a nuclear relationships or family, it goes against her life narrative.
All her friends that are married? First thing, married women shouldn’t engage with her, she’s toxic to a heterosexual relationship. Notice “her friends that are married” are sharing the negative side of their marriage with her. (Trauma bonding) her married friends obviously know who to talk negatively about their husbands, she’s in her friend life for a reason.
She keeps saying communicate and communicate. The "way" and frequency with which women communicate about the smallest things can drive a man crazy. How many times do you want to spend 3 hours talking about how you "feel" about a smile, how I just said "mmm" when you spoke to me. How my mother unconsciously did not smile when you made a joke. Meanwhile, I have the weight of the world on my shoulders trying to provide for the same you, who seems to have all the time to spend talking and talking about how I genuinely and with valid justification, forgot to take out the trash. Shockingly, when i even utter a word about how i feel, you dismiss it
42 min mark, its for the future generations ma'ma not you. You are looking for solutions for present, the men are talking about the future. You are not listening.
she is talking word salad...like following a pot of spaghetti....
She the problem doesn’t see it lol 😂 it’s not that hard like women make a lot of things more complicated
I appreciate the effort but she’s not curious enough for much of this to be insightful/beneficial. I’m curious what others are taking away from this conversation though
You and Melanie K, share a lot of the same perspectives...
Why do tou say that she doesn't know what she is talking about?
Something isn't right, even with the statement released from steve.. doesn't sound like him..
She still not making sence;
"In order to understand or drive home your point, you can't go straight to it, You have to take a detour"🤦🏾
Be clear and punctual when you speak with FEW words to obtain Greater understanding.
Speaking more doesn't bring Greater understanding, more so it brings the opposite and can diminish the value of one's point or perspective..
Speak less, an attribute of Stoicism🧔🏾♂️
Earlier Alan says men need an incentive, 29 min mark Jah starts explaining not listening vs not listening vs listening with incentive and she completely misses the communication. We are linear thinkers and she knows it, yet still misses the message. Then jumps to men dont communicate while both men listen 🙄...reality vs delusional listening. Try some of your own work on yourself medicine ma am. Its working out great. (Sarcasm)
She's a man why re you talking to her she's gay
She’s not good at listening at all
Guys stop sugar coating the truth. You make great points but you always negate your points with pandering.
Genuine question. Not trying to sound insensitive. And I agree women have their fair share of work to do...
Why do yall think women have to change in order for men to change? Why do you think men are incapable of being dynamic? Is that actually the case, or has society allowed for men to be 'simple', or 'linear' as you mentioned?
And now that you can articulate that, why not try to be better for the sake of it? And not have the only motivation to do any introspection be for pu$$y?
I find that frustrating. There are plenty of men 'capable' of running businesses, dealing with the stresses of catering to clientele, paperwork, the actual service...etc. That's very dynamic. Yet are too simple to not be terrible partners with their significant others? That's wild to me. And sounds lazy.
As wages become more equal, and women become more financially independent, there certainly is a power shift happening. Where gender roles are being questioned. And it's to be expected that it can get messy as we try to redefine what a woman and man are / their roles in this shifting society (Add to that the complexities of black culture and its layers).
I also get how in this muddy climate, there will be both men and women who have a hard time articulating their roles and what they want, and can thus both sound hypocritical at times.
But to accept the continued association of your genders behavior to a dog feels like a cop out.
Please advise,
Excellent question and fantastic points!🙏🏿 These are definitely the growing pains our generation and successive generations will have to confront. It ultimately boils down to the age-old Nature vs Nurture debate and personally, I skew Nature but deeply believe that skewing Nurture is the more productive assumption for society building. Men and women have been a certain way for millennia for very specific/productive reasons; These “ways” will not simply change overnight but I’m curious to discover how they shift and why they shift. I’m also curious to juxtapose our new paradigms of masculinity and femininity with old/traditional paradigms. Lets see which ultimately lead to better outcomes in hindsight.
He explained. men have to change and have been changing for women from the start. Just to even get or be with a woman. But what women say they want and actually choose to deal with, are often contradictory and two different things. The men and behaviors women say they don't want are what they choose. This is why nice guys finish last and so forth. Women really don't respect or care about men or what they even want, enough to want to make any changes for them. Men are seen beneath them if they feel impower and entitle, so why change. But women initiate 80% of divorces and relationship brakeups. Have 61% of all the children. Single mother homes account for the vast majority of negative children's outcomes. Most evicted have the highest rate of poverty. Women are losing in almost every matrix. And need the most help. But don't want any accountability or forbid they make changes to be better to build families and communities. They had a major part in placing blame on men.
This lady keeps making things personal “oh I don’t ask men for money” most women want a man with security
🗣️that’s the reality of the situation not your situation
Y r u having this conversation with a lesbian
Problem is women are asking men to not be logical! Women rather, we feel and actually be logical and make sense and that’s the problem. We can’t be consumed by your illogical chaos.
You need more women on your podcast to get more diverse perspectives and counter arguments.
I feel like the topic is valuable but the meat of the discussion is weak because its one sided without proper rebuttals to some of the points i think are lacking intellectually from a male perspective
Women THINK they are better communicators when in fact they just use a lot more words without really saying anything other than what they FEEL. And what they FEEL is usually not based in facts and reality.
Women THINK they are better communicators when in fact they just use a lot more words without really saying anything other than what they FEEL. And what they FEEL is usually not based in facts and reality.