ADHD in Women: The Signs You Need to Know
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- Опубліковано 14 бер 2023
- Are you a woman with ADHD and wonder why your diagnosis was missed until adulthood?
In this video I am I am going to highlight some of the differences between how ADHD manifests in females versus males, and why so many of us flew under the radar and were not diagnosed as children. ADHD in women: the signs you need to know so you can understand the female presentation of ADHD and why diagnosing ADHD in girls was so much harder when I was young than it is now. Overwhelm and ADHD go hand in hand and ADHD can become worse when we have PMS and go through menopause. Many women internalize their ADHD and that can lead to overwhelm. My name is Sara Kelly and I am an ADHD Mindset Coach. I hope you enjoy this video.
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Please let me know when you found out that you have ADHD. I was 44, and just found out three years ago.
And if you have ideas for other videos please let me know what you would like to see on this channel.
I was just diagnosed last month... I'm 42. I had kinda figured out by myself that I had ADHD after 3 close colleagues from work / friends that I felt very identified with were diagnosed, also late in their lives. The diagnosis has taken out a lof of guilt and negative self talk from my mind. It's been like an amazing reset.
@@tirarosaurioreads ❤️❤️❤️
I think it was 2019 (was during or around Covid lockdown) or so when I first got a medical professional to verify what I knew and what other “doctors” (actual legitimate doctors but I use quotes because I’m not positive they SHOULD be drs seeing as I made that appointment for the sole purpose of creating a treatment plan (and confirming I have ADHD), I told them my experiences, my symptoms/side effects from adhd, and gave them context of how they come up and with all that handed to them they wrote me off with depression and anxiety until 2019 at 27 years old
It was art school and even portfolio courses prior to that. I couldn’t get out of my overthinking and would just avoid doing work due to some strange fear of failure.
I'm 38 and was unofficially diagnosed by my PCP two months ago. Like you said, the ADHD wasn't an issue until I got overwhelmed with life events. It's amazing how far I've gotten without anyone noticing 😆
I'm routing for you!❤
63 & just realizing I have had this for many years
A late diagnosis comes with a real mixed bag of feelings, doesn't it. ❤️
Thankyou, I’ve been working on cptsd but also I have known this is in the mix for me too & hope I can get some clarity now I am 58 & still working on my career after being overwhelmed all my life 😮
I hope you get some clarity too. In the meantime I hope my community can be helpful to you. Feel free to join our Facebook group for women with ADHD (or who suspect they have ADHD). It's very supportive!❤
I'm relieved you brought up what happened at 8:56. It seems that I am successful and well-organized at work as an ESL teacher. However, at home, it's the opposite. I need help finding motivation to clean, do laundry, declutter, or cook. Even though I might not show it, I deeply care about this and think about it all the time. It feels like there's an invisible force holding me back from taking care of my house, even though I want it to be clean and organized.
You're not alone!
Everything about this video hits hard! I began not sleeping in second grade. Years in therapy have only focused on trauma, but I kept asking about my grades in high school/ middle school, not sleeping and anxiety as a young kid. Sometimes I think about a diagnosis now, on days where I really struggle, but I don’t know how to even start. I’m pretty sure this is something that has really affected my entire life. Imposter syndrome, feeling overwhelmed, masking, overthinking are things that I have developed tools for on my own, but it doesn’t always work. Thanks for sharing.
Happy to help, you are not alone in this experience❤
I was never okay and the fact my parents, teachers and psychohists were all to stypid to see how much i was struggled is truly disturbing.
I am sorry, that's tough.
Wow. I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year to 18 months ago, and to be honest, I have always doubted that diagnosis because of various things that didn't seem to fit and after watching this video, I realize all those things I didn't fit are a perfect fit, and I now realise it's true -- I really do have ADHD....
I'm really glad you feel validated. ❤️
@@sarakellyADHDCoach Thank you so much
I'm not diagnosed, but I suspect I may have the inattentive type. I had always been a "good" student throughout primary and secondary school. I sailed through the first half of undergrad, but in the last year, things came to a head. Having more or less secured my graduating grade, I lost motivation to attend class and study during my last 2 semesters. Writing my thesis was an ordeal and I'm still surprised that I pulled it off since I procrastinated doing so till the last minute. It honestly felt as if a brick had taken up residence in my head. I dropped out of my master's program because I somehow couldn't bring myself to write my thesis. I felt like such an impostor as it was a field unrelated to my undergrad and despite having performed well in my coursework. I could never bring myself to sit down and map out my thesis. I hope to get some treatment soon as I feel as if my life has been in limbo for years now.
If you are not diagnosed yet something you could do while you’re waiting to figure out your diagnosis is get your blood level checked for low iron. Iron deficiency and ADHD symptoms being worse absolutely go hand-in-hand.
And finally, if you are bold enough, you could finish your shower in the morning with cold water for 30 seconds to one minute, that’s a great way to naturally produce dopamine.
Thank you for sharing your story, we need to talk about this more to bring in more awareness.
I totally feel you, and I have had (and still have) all those awful feelings. I think I got through my MA thesis because my advisor stubbornly dragged me through it, and I respond to that kind of fear. I was mostly managing my dissertation prep at first, but then the pandemic hit and I stopped meeting in person with her (whether scheduled or just running into her in the dept), and then she moved back to South Korea. I know she is exasperated with me and I am filled with so much guilt and anxiety about it that I have been ignoring her. The dept head is an angel and has been so supportive, trying to check on me and whatnot. I told her about my diagnosis and she told me the whole dept cares about me and they want to see me succeed. I have been avoiding going to campus (I'm teaching online and I don't have to meet any faculty in person), not only because it is a long commute, but also because I don't want to run into people and answer their questions about how my work is going and why I haven't come to any dept events. I have been so ashamed of myself. I'm pushing my graduation back yet another semester. I have considered giving up many times, but I don't want to answer that question for the rest of my life, why I didn't finish my PhD. I simultaneously want to escape and to make myself make it happen. Hang in there. If you want to talk, I'm game.
I have two boys who have just, and are in the process of being diagnosed. This has put the spotlight on me and I believe I have ADHD also. The hyperactivity being internal is interesting to me as I never switch off and always overthink, although I am hyperactive physically too. Also has been worse during periods of hormonal change. I am now hitting peri menopause and am now having overwhelm meltdowns on a much more regular basis. I also have CPTSD and am struggling to work out what is trauma and what is ADHD making diagnosis more difficult.
This is the toughest time for us.
Thank you for this information...it is PRICELESS! You described my life. 58 and finally being sent for testing.
So glad to help. I hope it goes ok❤
5:30 a common one I had was "dont have inconvenient needs, or emotions" meaning I would be at best invalidated when I voiced needs or anything, so of course eventually I stopped saying or admitting it, and my parents wonder why I dont and cant open up....
Validation is one of the most important needs of an ADHDer.
I am 40 years old and have only dived into ADHD this year. I was totally a keener in school and have been a small business owner since 17. My IQ is north of 160 and I've always seen myself as neurodivergent. I hyper fixate on things that interest me. I've always struggled with being too much but not enough. I struggle with follow through, yet to create a daily structured schedule shuts me down. I have found I need to ease into new habits and trust that if I keep with it, it will stick over time. To see myself with ADHD (rather than misdiagnoses) gives me the chance to try new ways to cope and be productive and has really helped me not feel so ostracized.
I am so happy you have found value here:) ❤️🧠
I just got diagnosed with adhd, I’m a senior in university.
I am 45 and I was diagnosed last week (though I've suspected for a while). I was a great student until 8th grade. I was bullied pretty badly in 5th-8th grade (it only stopped because a more popular girl in high school complemented me profusely on my acting skills in front of my longtime bully), and part of what I was bullied about was being the class "brain." I didn't realize how much my frenemy in class affected my performance, so when she moved away after 7th grade, my grades in classes I didn't like fell. Turns out the competition with that girl, who I hung out with only because we were both unpopular and had no other friends, was my driving force at the time. She always wanted to compare scores and would gloat if she did better, so I made sure I did better most of the time. 😂😂😂 After that, I was the student that could ace the tests (or crank out a last-minute paper that would earn me an A) but wouldn't do homework (or lab reports, haha) in classes she didn't like. If busywork was important to the grade, I averaged to about a C in those classes, which totally flabbergasted my teachers and parents. Why couldn't I just buckle down and reach my potential? I would get punished by not being able to do all the extra-curriculars I wanted to do (and there were a lot). I was the same as an undergrad. Grad school was way better because I was only taking classes in my field, and even in the areas I wasn't as keen on, I was motivated by fear of losing the most amazing GPA and reputation as a student than I had ever had. I managed to get through. The dissertation, though. I finally got desperate to get some help! I really should have done it sooner because I think so many things in my life would have been better. The awareness just wasn't there, as you've said! It wasn't until several years ago that I even knew that ADHD persisted into adulthood and that it's way more than just the stereotypical hyperactive little boy who can't sit still or concentrate. It blows my mind that I hot almost all the criteria in the DSM-5, all my life, and I had no idea! However, a few people that I've told (including my mom) have thought for a second and said, "Oh yeah, I can see that."
This resonates so much!
Thank you for a really useful video, the content was really good.
I did however find the delivery caused me cognitive dissonance. I don't know when talking while trying to smile all the time started, but it's pretty creepy. Smiling while talking about serious, non funny subjects is just weird.
I've had it since I was born I feel. It was mentioned to me by a counselor that they thought I have Adhd, I know I did, my mom said I drove her absolutely crazy since I was born, I was a twin, my twin was the opposite, quite, shy , introverted. I am an extrovert, loud, obnoxious, bored easily, always on the move, didn't sleep much, struggled in school, always busy became a workaholic, juggling multiple jobs, family, helping everyone but myself, stressful.... now They believe I have an autoimmune disease and getting tested for it. sometimes I feel like I am crazy because I look very put together, everyone always says you look great including my doctor. I don't complain about it, I just move forward, never thought I had Adhd but now I definatly know I do.
I was diagnosed at 15 my boyfriend was abusing me I was targeted and bullied junior high also by groups of girls. Then I got pmdd I got a oopherectomy at 33 I’m 35 now. I was just abused at my church and left and got off my meds isolated myself. Now it’s summer my kids are home fighting my house is a mess I feel like a failure my marriage is falling apart I am gonna get back on meds this is just so hard plus now menopause and I still have fake period cycles. I need my house empty to clean it the perfectionism is so bad if my house is messy I feel horrible.
The struggle for us is REAL!
Recently watched vid on hormones and ADHD. I also crashed at the start of high school and then again at menopause. This kinda explains why it was so extreme at those times
I believe us women have it so much harder with our hormone fluctuation. ❤️
I’ve just been diagnosed two weeks ago ❤️❤️
Congratulations on your diagnosis! ❤️🧠
Progress over perfection! Thank you!
You’re most welcome!
I was camp 1, but also very similar to you. At 14 you couldn’t get by purely by talent and verbal/written skills, it acctually required you to open a book from time to time. Couldn’t be bothered with that!
I can totally relate! Thanks for sharing your experience :)
I’m 47 and believe I’m finally realizing I have ADHD. I do also believe I have bipolar 1 and my dad had bipolar so I’m getting assessed for both. Definitely I was text book bipolar since my childhood .
It is so valuable to know how our brains work so we can manage symptoms. ❤️🧠
I am still in the process of being diagnosed. However, my daughter has been diagnosed and I have done the preliminary testing... It's basically a matter of finding out what kind I have, rather than IF I have it or not 🤣🤣🤣
I was definitely in the first camp of girls you shared about - keener 100% of the time.
I am a believer that knowledge is power, and once we know what we are working with (specifically our brains) then we are able to adapt.Jade, I would love to hear what kinds of videos you would like me to create next?
Awesome video❤
Thanks 🤗
It wasn’t a thing when I was an adolescent
Mental health has a lot of catching up to do with female presentation.
Never been diagnosed but I think I have this and it suck’s so much. 😢 what to do anymore.
I was camp 1 all the way. Except with anything that involved figures, where I totally crash3d and bvrnt... I know now that this is called discalculia. Thank you so much for this video. I have just been diagnosed a month ago at age.... 42.
Congratulations on your diagnosis. ❤️
I am going to write a little long paragraph here and I'd be very happy if you could help me out with any suggestions as I dont have any access to mental help for now.
I used to be a average student till 9th grade. I could manage to get 70% marks studying on the last days but during class I used to listen to my teachers. I used to find the curriculum interesting and then covid hit I could not study a bit and fell behind. Then came 11th grade and it all went downhill I started failing imp subjects and could not keep my attention long enough to understand any topics. I have lost interest in everything and went into a very depressive state( had suicidal thoughts everyday). Procrastination and perfectionism is a part of me so much so I cannot star doing things fearing it wont turn out of my standards and end up doing it at last moments. I have a very low attention span.I cannot remember a single day where I did my work in time without procrastinating.
If I play music during my commute to college and want to listen to a certain song I play it but get so lost in thoughts or distracted that I don’t even realise that 3 or 4 more songs have passed. Thoughts race through my mind. People talk to me and it takes time to register that some one is speaking to me…….I have very bad social skills and have almost no fiends.
Currently my semester exams are going on and they are very important but I could not bring myself to study a single bit.I have watched countless lectures but nothing makes sense.I cannot sit still for 5 minutes and waiting in lines is a constant fight. Rn I know I may fail my exam but still cannot study.I don’t understand if I really am that lazy or something is wrong. I am really forgetful and lose things or miss deadline too.
It's important for us to get enough sleep and to try to eat enough protein and drink enough water. When we don't it can make our ADHD symptoms worse. Can you ask for accomodation in school because of your ADHD? That might help?
@@sarakellyADHDCoach unfortunately there is no help around here in my country, mental health is a foreign concept here...Thanks for the advice tho