the black wife effect is real

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  • Опубліковано 25 вер 2024
  • In today's video, I discuss the latest iteration from the pasta and lobster cinematic universe, the black wife effect. It Ironically comes a few months after the hard wig soft life trend but is a bit more wholesome.
    ~sources~
    Men Sometimes Avoid Marriage, But It Benefits Them More Than Women
    www.psychology...
    ~socials~
    instagram: / amandapanda767
    tiktok: / amandapanda767
    business inquiries: sofie@helmtalentgroup.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 600

  • @detriticore
    @detriticore 3 місяці тому +968

    The one thing that bothers me about the black wife effect is that it's framed as something the wife did to her husband-- which puts all responsibility on the wife-- instead of the husband's voluntary, unprompted decision to take responsibility for his appearance out of respect for the partnership.

    • @ChiTown2k69
      @ChiTown2k69 3 місяці тому +9

      I have a passport for Ghana this year and now I shop at Nordstrom instead of Walmart..I absolutely LOVE my Karl Lagerfield loafers. IJS. Drizzle Drizzle

    • @brotherumarj3370
      @brotherumarj3370 3 місяці тому +38

      That's your spin on it. Nobody on tiktok explained how and why they got to where they did. 9/10 she gently nudged him into it. The white men who have style dont need any mammying, they already come prepared.

    • @TheCastedone
      @TheCastedone 3 місяці тому +9

      Black dudes change with white women. What's the issue.

    • @frida507
      @frida507 3 місяці тому +30

      It could also be a natural adjustment from hanging out with people who put more effort and interest in appearance and fashion. I'm a foreigner but from youtube fore example I see that American black men talk about matching colors and accessories (and roast each other) while many white American men seem unbothered. Italian men seem to put more effort into their style and someone who moves there will probably be affected after a while. Doesn't even have to be consciously, but culture rubs off...
      And if you start from a stage where you didn't really try there can often be a larger potential for improvement, compared to someone who already knows their strong and weak points, if a beard is flattering on them or not.

    • @frida507
      @frida507 3 місяці тому +12

      @@TheCastedone Agree, that's the person you spend most time with and also you hang out with each others family and friends and get new influences. And if you're a city girl and marry a farmer you'll most likely change as well.

  • @KhaleeltheCooterCatRealness
    @KhaleeltheCooterCatRealness 3 місяці тому +604

    Pasta and lobster cinematic universe 💀💀💀💀😂😂. The PLCU!!

    • @Piasays
      @Piasays 3 місяці тому +5

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @rocksofoffence.righteousam2422
      @rocksofoffence.righteousam2422 3 місяці тому

      Who's the Lobster?

    • @srose1088
      @srose1088 3 місяці тому

      I was about to leave a comment like this, lol. I'm glad we all laughed at that.

    • @monovatherealest
      @monovatherealest 3 місяці тому +6

      ​@@rocksofoffence.righteousam2422 Nobody is the lobster; 'pasta and lobster' is just something mentioned/popularized by the rapper Kaliii in her song "Area Codes" when talking about a (fictional) white boy she's seeing

  • @LegendsofVana
    @LegendsofVana 3 місяці тому +446

    Honestly, I found this trend endearing. It’s heartwarming to see Black women being celebrated and valued in the media, especially since they are often marginalized and told they are undesirable.

    • @D13vest
      @D13vest 3 місяці тому

      How does BW upgrading dusties show they are being celebrated? BW telling filty WM to take a shower just shows what BW would accept

    • @brebri89
      @brebri89 3 місяці тому +1

      @@D13vest you mad bro 🤡

    • @Woodland-Gangsta
      @Woodland-Gangsta 3 місяці тому +8

      Get a job! Clearly it's not the black wife effect. It's the dominant culture effect. Something that I've said hundreds of times as it relates to interracial relationships. Someone has to submit to the other person's culture if the relationship is going to last.

    • @ValueSeekerOnline
      @ValueSeekerOnline 3 місяці тому

      Ok lets take a closer look at the statistics, this is not to offend anyone who chooses to date or marry inter-racially but is based solely on statistics and they are as follows >>>>> In the United States, approximately 96% of married Black women are married to Black men. On the other hand, about 20.1% of white women are married to Black men, while 9.4% of white women are married to Asian men . Interestingly, newlywed Black men are twice as likely as newlywed Black women to be intermarried, with 24% of Black men and 12% of Black women in interracial marriages. These figures highlight some of the trends in race and marriage, but keep in mind that individual experiences can vary significantly. More than a quarter of white men ( 72 %) are married to Asian women which is the largest of all interracial marriages world wide. Keep in mind that this isn't just based on the calculated numbers of White men and Asian women in the US at around 42 % of all interracial marriages. Additionally, Asian women are more likely to be living with white men than with Asian men, making cohabitation's even more prevalent. However, all this trending non since could turn any man off regardless of their race because it makes us feel like the women doing it are desperate and only making such videos to get back at their race of men.

    • @Abandoned2377
      @Abandoned2377 2 місяці тому +1

      You need to raise your standards and respect yourself. This is offensive.

  • @janaekelis
    @janaekelis 3 місяці тому +180

    this is just that meme of bratz dolls with a lego man husband

  • @PokhrajRoy.
    @PokhrajRoy. 3 місяці тому +441

    Over-analysis of TikTok is honestly a great way to spend time.

    • @moderngoblin
      @moderngoblin 3 місяці тому +8

      No…. It’s not…

    • @dreamerspringswalks
      @dreamerspringswalks 3 місяці тому +8

      your comment is lowkey a roast too

    • @PokhrajRoy.
      @PokhrajRoy. 3 місяці тому +5

      @@dreamerspringswalks It could tilt either way but my intention is positive. Also, it’s banned in certain countries so I’m that much more invested

    • @xxxjiggalo
      @xxxjiggalo 3 місяці тому

      china living indirectly rent free in your head

    • @misspriss5589
      @misspriss5589 3 місяці тому

      This is the worst comment ive read on youtube

  • @LittleDogTobi
    @LittleDogTobi 3 місяці тому +155

    Thank you as always. I learn something new from all your trend analyses. Also: “If a man doesn’t think you’re cute, that’s the end of the story. He’s not going to go on a date with you just because you could potentially have an awesome personality.” Ain’t that the truth 😢

  • @joepiekl
    @joepiekl 3 місяці тому +194

    I think it's similar to the old movie trope of the nerdy girl with glasses who later in the movie shows up without her glasses and "OMG, she's so beautiful!"

    • @gbbs9
      @gbbs9 3 місяці тому +22

      ikr! most of the men just grew a beard😂

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +8

      ​@@gbbs9- hair is makeup for men, and that includes facial hair.

    • @devonmunn5728
      @devonmunn5728 3 місяці тому +1

      Even as a kid I never understood that trope

    • @garthyahudahandrews8504
      @garthyahudahandrews8504 3 місяці тому +1

      @@djlivvy46 something that is natural can never be makeup listen to your logic lol

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +3

      @@garthyahudahandrews8504 - you're not understanding the nuance of my comment. And that's ok.

  • @tcl09110
    @tcl09110 3 місяці тому +314

    This is the complete opposite of the hard wig, soft life theory 😭

    • @jaquelinecosta3121
      @jaquelinecosta3121 3 місяці тому +36

      They're opposite theories but not contradictory!
      With the hard wig theory, if black women want a RICH rich husband they dress well but keep the wig hard that essentially shows these white men that they're "exotic". These men's perception is that these women are like "proper African" and not your typical black American city girl who know how to lay down and melt a wig. It shows that they may less experienced in their wealthy world and are also more domestic, not caring that much to their appearance which is perfect for these rich white men because they want someone that admires them while taking care of them too. So he flaunts his wealth to her, she gets super impressed and he likes that attention and in gratitude she reciprocates by being his house wife.
      The Black Wife Effect theory, on the other hand doesn't indicate that these men were ever rich. These are regular white men..some probably earn well while some just have an average income. And they are not necessarily attracted to these "hard wig" women like actual wealthy men are. So the black women from the wife effect theory can be in fact that black American city girls that way more put together than the "hard wig" women. Now whenever you're in a relationship and if it's an healthy one, you start to look more like your partner and since women have a better sense of style than men, in relationships where the husband cares and cherishes the wife's opinion, it's bound to happen that she will most likely influence him and his sense of style. Also just in general, when we care about someone we want them to look the best so this "wife/girlfriend effect" mostly happens in good healthy relationships, regardless of the race.

    • @T.H-v4h
      @T.H-v4h 3 місяці тому

      White men do not look that hard into wigs. Bad wigs are going to be what’s around white people.

    • @DrUmarJohnson1
      @DrUmarJohnson1 3 місяці тому

      @@jaquelinecosta3121 The develop Eurocentric views, then attempt to distant themselves from Blackness

    • @BigBossKandie23
      @BigBossKandie23 3 місяці тому +8

      @@jaquelinecosta3121 The stiff wig simply means the black woman was not cultured. She probably was raised with white people and most likely she's not like the stereotypical black woman. The stiff wig is when a black woman adopts the culture of white men. The black girl effect is when the white men adopt the culture of the black woman. But look at Travis Kelsey or whatever his name is. As soon as he got with Taylor swift all that changed.

    • @FreedomAintFree-ol6fy
      @FreedomAintFree-ol6fy 3 місяці тому

      ​@@BigBossKandie23I want to stay in this for a moment. When you say "adopt the culture of white men" or the same for black women, you're saying as a statement of fact that there is such a distinct culture. So I'm curious just have a baseline understanding, what are the customs, standards, and norms that makeup black culture? Also, is this a black American conversation or does it include Africans?

  • @patrice6139
    @patrice6139 3 місяці тому +374

    As a black woman dating an Asian man, I'm here for this trend. I love seeing black women thriving and in healthy and loving relationships. We need more of this in our media.

    • @clementinelives
      @clementinelives 3 місяці тому +14

      🤎🤎

    • @D13vest
      @D13vest 3 місяці тому +33

      Its not the medias duty to celebrate BW. If anything, tell your asian man to celebrate you in Asia and see what happens

    • @YMBKing
      @YMBKing 3 місяці тому +12

      @@D13vest😂😂

    • @wavveytae4181
      @wavveytae4181 3 місяці тому +47

      @@D13vestwow so negative what does this even mean.

    • @D13vest
      @D13vest 3 місяці тому +12

      @@wavveytae4181 Telling an Asian man to celebrate a BW in Asia is negative?

  • @witchplease9695
    @witchplease9695 3 місяці тому +127

    I just like seeing Black women celebrated and not bashed for once.

    • @Tmac_305
      @Tmac_305 3 місяці тому +1

      I love that, but I don't like to see Black women fetishized.💜👑

    • @ksager123
      @ksager123 3 місяці тому +2

      Fon

    • @thewiseone6049
      @thewiseone6049 2 місяці тому +6

      Hold each other accountable and people will stop bashing yall

    • @TheoZier-gi8rg
      @TheoZier-gi8rg 2 місяці тому +1

      Yeah but be aware of what some people are after. The world loves everything black except the people

    • @butterflygirl01
      @butterflygirl01 2 місяці тому +10

      @@thewiseone6049accountable for what? No…

  • @nathanielreichert4638
    @nathanielreichert4638 3 місяці тому +30

    I love the black wife effect. I dated an amazing black girl for three years, and what started as her shopping for me and dressing me up and shaping my eyebrows turned into me doing it for myself: just loving myself, loving my appearance at its best and buying/wearing clothes that turned heads and made me feel really confident ❤

    • @Tmac_305
      @Tmac_305 3 місяці тому +2

      Weak

    • @ksager123
      @ksager123 3 місяці тому

      You're clearly a female trolling on a fake account 😂

    • @WatchingEyes-g9w
      @WatchingEyes-g9w 2 місяці тому +2

      😂 you want a cookie

    • @ksager123
      @ksager123 2 місяці тому

      @@WatchingEyes-g9w it's a black fefail troll account

    • @terryshumate5667
      @terryshumate5667 Місяць тому

      You may be gay

  • @joeyneuenkirch8928
    @joeyneuenkirch8928 2 місяці тому +12

    I have been married to my QUEEN for 22 years, we have 6 children and eight grand children. She is my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. She helped me take pride in myself. I did a 100 percent turn around with my appearance, with her help. She is beautiful and I wanted to present myself to that leverl that she would be proud. That is my queen and I treat her as such. Vice versa, I have never been treated so well and she is my ride or die. I protect her to the end. No one will hurt my queen!!!

  • @T.H-v4h
    @T.H-v4h 3 місяці тому +79

    My boyfriend is white and I love this trend. It’s suppose to be fun and light hearted. Plus I love seeing love for black women no matter what race they date

    • @LegendsofVana
      @LegendsofVana 3 місяці тому +11

      I thought the trend was cute, as well. It’s nice seeing black women being loved and appreciated for a change. ♥️

  • @enmity9383
    @enmity9383 3 місяці тому +92

    the flavor has to be there to begin with, we just add some seasoning and bring it out 😂

    • @poshlady43
      @poshlady43 3 місяці тому +1

      Truth.... I cannot be seen with someone unseasoned and can't get with my groove and style.

    • @skorpionraps191
      @skorpionraps191 3 місяці тому +1

      My black/puerto Rican woman showed me this trend and said I'm gonna be next and honestly. I like it.🤷🏽‍♂️🤣

  • @christophergreen9928
    @christophergreen9928 3 місяці тому +101

    Not the drawstring backpack! 😵‍💫

    • @ValueSeekerOnline
      @ValueSeekerOnline 3 місяці тому +2

      Ok lets take a closer look at the statistics, this is not to offend anyone who chooses to date or marry inter-racially but is based solely on statistics and they are as follows >>>>> In the United States, approximately 96% of married Black women are married to Black men. On the other hand, about 20.1% of white women are married to Black men, while 9.4% of white women are married to Asian men . Interestingly, newlywed Black men are twice as likely as newlywed Black women to be intermarried, with 24% of Black men and 12% of Black women in interracial marriages. These figures highlight some of the trends in race and marriage, but keep in mind that individual experiences can vary significantly. More than a quarter of white men ( 72 %) are married to Asian women which is the largest of all interracial marriages world wide. Keep in mind that this isn't just based on the calculated numbers of White men and Asian women in the US at around 42 % of all interracial marriages. Additionally, Asian women are more likely to be living with white men than with Asian men, making cohabitation's even more prevalent. However, all this trending non since could turn any man off regardless of their race because it makes us feel like the women doing it are desperate and only making such videos to get back at their race of men.

  • @drhall343
    @drhall343 3 місяці тому +69

    This is just Kip's arc in Napoleon Dynamite. 😂

    • @HellCat_Kenny
      @HellCat_Kenny 3 місяці тому +6

      Bro too real 😂😂

    • @hes_alive
      @hes_alive 3 місяці тому +4

      I’m looking forward to Napoleon Dynamite 2 and Kip being a total Don Juan.

  • @lovelylaughter11
    @lovelylaughter11 3 місяці тому +55

    Verrryy important caveat: "A man with a beard that connects"

  • @Mini-ge9sm
    @Mini-ge9sm 3 місяці тому +18

    I feel black women give them a new level of confidence. When I was dating an Asian man, I noticed he stared to stand taller and more confident.

  • @mchjsosde
    @mchjsosde 3 місяці тому +57

    My poor (now) husband used to wear these awful khaki toms nearly every day😔 thankfully they've been unofficially retired for over a year ago. He is handsome and white so he gets away with wearing things that would otherwise make me suspect him being a tweaker. But generally he dresses in the same style with some pieces that i bought for him or encouraged him to buy.

    • @DrUmarJohnson1
      @DrUmarJohnson1 3 місяці тому

      A Black spouse indicates consciousness, pride, strength, and a high self-image
      A non-Black spouse indicates isolation, shame, weakness, and a poor self-image

    • @Xnovality
      @Xnovality Місяць тому +1

      @@DrUmarJohnson1you’re obsessed with white men

  • @mees2751
    @mees2751 3 місяці тому +33

    As. Black women I love to see my sisters celebrated. The most beautiful women in the world.

  • @giantpinkcat
    @giantpinkcat 3 місяці тому +183

    If the white guy is short in Pasta Lobster, would it be called "Shrimp Alfredo"?

  • @srose1088
    @srose1088 3 місяці тому +58

    Another thing this sentiment reminds me of is that sometimes in mix race relationships, your partner might appreciate things about you that people of your racial dateing pool didn't. It can encourage you to not hide those things about yourself.

    • @RainingPouringSnoring
      @RainingPouringSnoring 3 місяці тому +7

      That's such an interesting take. Never thought of that before

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +4

      Black women have been saying this for decades now.

  • @clementinelives
    @clementinelives 3 місяці тому +53

    Shoutout black women

    • @NunYAhBOption
      @NunYAhBOption 3 місяці тому

      For what! Genetically removing themselves from their Father gene pool!
      Yet; ask yourself why women from other ethnic groups are killing themselves. To look or appear have black women’s assets! They were genetically gifted with their Negroe Father & Mother superior genes?
      These new generation black women have absolutely no clue, what they are rejecting! Their god given inheritance of their FATHERS superior genes!
      When they go to the family barbeque picnic, and compare their blended offspring.
      With their original family offsprings, then and only then, will they understand the downgrade!
      The Deception is Real!
      Love has no “color” yet choices has consequences upon the children produced!

  • @AngelisaHassan
    @AngelisaHassan 3 місяці тому +25

    Justin Bieber gets on my nerves. Why isnt he dressed up for his wife? Dude dress up in honor of her make-up product

    • @neutraliserjanine
      @neutraliserjanine 3 місяці тому +11

      Justin Beiber is going through years of trauma that he's trying to heal from a certain group of men. I dont even think it's fair to mention him.

    • @AngelisaHassan
      @AngelisaHassan 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@neutraliserjanineShe mentioned him. I did not.

    • @wiardikijne5158
      @wiardikijne5158 26 днів тому

      Let a man wear what he wants to wear

  • @boiling_snow_water_
    @boiling_snow_water_ 3 місяці тому +57

    This is true...we've all seen Napoleon Dynamite.

  • @mewnboy
    @mewnboy 3 місяці тому +51

    “if the credit card swipes it doesn’t matter that his face card declines” FKEVEJGKAHJFNIM

  • @JaredBurdick
    @JaredBurdick 3 місяці тому +118

    I wasn't aware of this trend, but am definitely an example of it 😅

    • @fadedandfrustrated
      @fadedandfrustrated 3 місяці тому +42

      Me (the aformentioned Black wife): I'm sending you a video; the thumbnail alone should hurt your feelings lmao
      Him: I already commented 🫠

    • @toriisa
      @toriisa 3 місяці тому +22

      ​@@fadedandfrustrated Loved your dynamic🥰 it's funny😂😂😂

    • @crunchysalmons
      @crunchysalmons 3 місяці тому +4

      fr, with the pasta and lobster and now this, i feel a finger pointing right at me

    • @DrUmarJohnson1
      @DrUmarJohnson1 3 місяці тому +2

      @@crunchysalmons I'm point the finger at you...........Black men/women forever! Snow bunnies NEVER!!!!

  • @kokushiibou
    @kokushiibou 3 місяці тому +19

    im a bw dating a mexican guy and neither one of us know how to create an outfit that doesn’t include a black tshirt or joggers so this trend doesn’t really work for us but it’s a cute trend nonetheless lmao

  • @sdc8598
    @sdc8598 3 місяці тому +18

    The Mammie trope doesn’t apply (thank Gawd) your points on black women and the effects of respectability politics and interracial unions is spot on; along with everything else…..I enjoyed your commentary and humor💛

  • @kirby7475
    @kirby7475 3 місяці тому +41

    Yeah as a man I can attest to this. Haven't been in a relationship with a black woman before, but i've definitely received some much needed advice on style from the women I have been with it.
    It's crazy how eye opening it is when you look at your old photos and just cringe at what you used to look like pre-relationships😂
    Just wanted to note that it isn't women's responsibility to make sure her man is well put together, that's his own responsibility. However I would hesitate to blame men for a lack of stylistic awareness. We've really not been done any favors as far as what society tells us to dress like to be honest. Although I think that's slowly changing.

  • @AngelisaHassan
    @AngelisaHassan 3 місяці тому +50

    Maybe they just glow up because they are in love in a positive relationship. Plus women are just more stylish.

    • @galaxylucia1898
      @galaxylucia1898 3 місяці тому +14

      Are you sure women are more stylish?
      Or, are they SOCIALIZED to be style-conscious due to the “male gaze”?
      I only ask because if the majority of fashion brands and high-end fashion houses are dominated by MEN, then maybe fashion isn’t as gender-based as you think.

    • @AngelisaHassan
      @AngelisaHassan 3 місяці тому +7

      @@galaxylucia1898 It aint that deep.

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@galaxylucia1898- but who actually buys most of the product?

    • @filmadcamp1512
      @filmadcamp1512 3 місяці тому +3

      @@galaxylucia1898 Fashion houses are dominated by *gay men

    • @sandstorm6194
      @sandstorm6194 Місяць тому +1

      ​@galaxylucia1898 bro, I am not the girlie's of girls that care about "male gaze" and I love fashion, it's creative, it shows who i am, not what a man sees me

  • @josiedelatorre7865
    @josiedelatorre7865 3 місяці тому +22

    omg when you mentioned said pasta and lobster cinematic universe lol, i was "what the heck with that?!" love the term you coined. hopefully you credited for that term.

  • @okay5045
    @okay5045 3 місяці тому +8

    It is about time Black women are getting their due for the amazing people they are and the swag they help their men to achieve.

  • @Matty002
    @Matty002 2 місяці тому +4

    as another person basically commented: this only works if the person is open to change. ive asked guys before how attached they were to their hair or beard length vs dating and some guys are open to some adjustments, and some are entirely closed to the idea of changing in any way for a partner

  • @Airwr3ck
    @Airwr3ck Місяць тому +3

    As a man, the bar is definitely so low lol my fiancé consistently mentions how she made me better :) I literally dressed like a child when I met her. I’m so embarrassed now but damn I was like why would she even date me. I love her so much. I’m much better man ever since I’ve been with her. I’m blessed.

  • @aafrophonee
    @aafrophonee 2 місяці тому +5

    I didn't realize the swirl community was so complex

  • @erstellen7888
    @erstellen7888 3 місяці тому +12

    I'm so sorry but Amanda you look absolutely stunning in this video. I'm always enamored of your beauty but my gosh girly, you're glowing in this video.

  • @spotted_salamander
    @spotted_salamander 3 місяці тому +8

    The article @11:12 speaks truth that's predicated on all the unnecessary dysfunction that interferes with relationships between men and women. Removing that dysfunction would lead to both men and women feeling similarly about being in or out of a relationship. It would prevent situations where women feel happier unmarried due to breaking away from some traumatic past relationship. Factors, such as motherhood or being a mother figure to non-biological children, give women an advantage in finding contentment outside of marriage, in addition to still being able to find a man to date without marrying or living with him. This societal context contributes to women's greater happiness when being unmarried or "single" compared to men, in the type of society we live in.

  • @TheDaughtersOfSerenityTDOS
    @TheDaughtersOfSerenityTDOS 3 місяці тому +4

    🙏🏽🌷 I love this TikTok trend because it's fun, positive, and shows happy couples. Seeing other black women happy and love brings me happiness as an American black woman. Peace and love be unto all these couples.

  • @Jo-un9tt
    @Jo-un9tt 3 місяці тому +3

    "Whatever we touch turns into gold or at least a man with a beard that connects" Truth. I love this trend though it gives a great self-confidence boost to black women.

  • @cseptember6562
    @cseptember6562 2 місяці тому +10

    Weird how they would never do this for a black man or date one who looks like the before pictures of these men but when the guy is white every thing changes. Weird af lol

    • @brebri89
      @brebri89 2 місяці тому

      😭😭🤡🤡🤡🤡

    • @db6881
      @db6881 Місяць тому +1

      Hope you find a corner to throw your tantrum and cry in.

    • @Angeldaisy-ji6sp
      @Angeldaisy-ji6sp 29 днів тому +2

      cry harder 🤣

    • @SAINTMAURICE-tl7kb
      @SAINTMAURICE-tl7kb 26 днів тому +1

      Why do you care? Would you ever want to date or marry a bw 😂? Its a win win. Bw get the bums from the other groups of men, while the other wmn get the winners of all the races. Bet you that the bw is the breadwinner and the leader in all those relationships 😂

  • @Indus85
    @Indus85 2 місяці тому +3

    I found this video because someone I've gone on a few dates with (who is beautiful, and, yes, black) just asked me on our last date if I've heard about this trend, and when she showed me a tiktok, I was SO offended because I actually DO know how to dress, and have been complimented on it my whole adult life. Her response was essentially "yes, you look good, and dress well, but doesn't that make you wonder how much BETTER you could look?" Should I be offended, or charmed by the implication? I don't know.
    Anyway, now, what I'm even more shocked by is hearing that the stunning, talented, and funny woman who runs this channel has "never been in a relationship?" What is going on in the world?

  • @WeShareTheSameAffliction
    @WeShareTheSameAffliction 3 місяці тому +15

    They all looked fine before getting with their black wives, this trend is so cringe. 🤦🏿‍♀️

    • @brebri89
      @brebri89 3 місяці тому +4

      🤡

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +6

      It's interesting that the husbands do not agree, since they are the ones that are posting.

    • @kortlancharming
      @kortlancharming 3 місяці тому +1

      Weird fetish 😢

  • @ZSAN12
    @ZSAN12 18 днів тому +2

    The glow up is real, and its not a trend!!!!

  • @indiabrazilsaudi
    @indiabrazilsaudi 3 місяці тому +9

    your channel is my fav & i honestly love how you speak and present topics. i would love to get a maragrita on the rox with youu and hear you go on about tiktok trends

  • @bethdixon501
    @bethdixon501 3 місяці тому +1

    Your segmented affect of the “how” & “why” is greatly appreciated, thank you 🙏🏻❤️👑 It’s so nice to see a transition of couples who are enjoying the life together. So in conclusion you are a tremendous asset for the youtube communities coming together 🥳🙏🏻👑 We certainly are in need of more togetherness now more than ever, thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @kadinelindsayart
    @kadinelindsayart 3 місяці тому +26

    Your delivery of of this video is sooo good, the script is SCRIPTING

    • @amandamaryanna
      @amandamaryanna  3 місяці тому +6

      Thank you!

    • @Ginza92
      @Ginza92 3 місяці тому +1

      Yes, very professional. Scripts are a weak point for me. I ether look down to read or look like I'm reading a hostage letter.

  • @TryAgain746
    @TryAgain746 3 місяці тому +6

    Not the white woman asking for a BW to help her out. LMAO. I love a funny woman.

  • @psychedelicpegasus7587
    @psychedelicpegasus7587 3 місяці тому +6

    I will give a lot of credit to the ladies and gents in these photos for looking great, but there are a number of context differences in the before and after photos. Before: Taken by a (probably) guy friend or is a selfie, the man is much younger (some awkward teen shots), candid shots, variable lighting, more casual situations or just hanging out.
    After: At a later stage in life so more mature, at formal events and in formal/smart attire or a full on professional photo session, indoor lighting, at a venue like a hotel or place with a dress code and these photos were probably the very best of the photos taken.
    Also, they have a person beside them who they love and appreciate and who loves and appreciates them back. That's a natural glow (up). 😊

  • @dre_withwithout
    @dre_withwithout 3 місяці тому +17

    “The black wife effect” makes me viscerally pissed 😂… happy for black women being happy but it just seems real “look I have black girl”

    • @brebri89
      @brebri89 3 місяці тому +17

      Get all that bitterness and jealousy out of your heart

    • @galaxylucia1898
      @galaxylucia1898 3 місяці тому +12

      I agree partly. If these men were talking about what they actually loved about their partner specifically, that’s one thing. But it honestly is just becoming another “flex” for non-BM who I think are just trying to show off to other men in general. I honestly don’t think this has anything to do with the BW in question sadly.

    • @neutraliserjanine
      @neutraliserjanine 3 місяці тому +2

      At least they don't spend hours upon hours talking about the women who they dont like like sissy little girls, like one of group of men that we know. They are currently trending again about why they don't like black women or why black women are not married. 🙄

    • @brebri89
      @brebri89 3 місяці тому +4

      @@galaxylucia1898 🤡

    • @ThatsMeDoctorD
      @ThatsMeDoctorD 3 місяці тому

      @@galaxylucia1898I personally think the perspective on this is not necessarily correct. I am married to a White man who simply didn’t think much about what he wore. We married and, naturally, because I LOVE shopping for my husband for items that I know will look great on him, his style changed. He told me that he has never gotten so many compliments. Now, does that mean it’s all about his clothing? Absolutely NOT! I absolutely LOVE my husband and feel tremendously blessed to have a husband who adores, respects, supports, values, and LOVES ME! He is about more than lip service, but rather shows me what he thinks of me daily. The ability to shop for him and buy things that he feels good in and, yes, possibly boost his confidence in his outward appearance (which matches his inward attractiveness) is a bonus…I’m happy to play a small part in his transformation, not because I love him any more or less based on what he wears, but whether i know that he feels great in what he wears! He welcomes my fashion sense and loves when I pick out his clothing…Styling him just happens to be something that I, as his wife, helper, partner, best friend, confidant, ministry partner, and lover do well!

  • @steegen101
    @steegen101 3 місяці тому +3

    *Never* been in a relationship? wait how fr you're thoughtful & stunning

  • @Drew_HBK
    @Drew_HBK 3 місяці тому +9

    I need to read that psychology today article cause AIANT NO WAY

  • @wgcooke1
    @wgcooke1 3 місяці тому +18

    Not the drawstring backpack 😂

  • @FAFO0778
    @FAFO0778 3 місяці тому +3

    Black women are givers of life... physically, verbally, soulfully, spiritually, SWAGFULLY... duh.

  • @sherrita8582
    @sherrita8582 3 місяці тому +11

    I think it's fun seeing the before and after..I 😘 seeing black women Hapyp ❤❤

  • @Iam_Celene
    @Iam_Celene 3 місяці тому +47

    It just seems like they styled their hair and fixed their wardrobe 😂

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +4

      Oh, there's a lot more to it that. 🙂

    • @kortlancharming
      @kortlancharming 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@djlivvy46no more than that 😂

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому

      @@kortlancharming - I wouldn't expect you to understand, since you belong to the least married male demographic.

    • @YouWontDoAnythingAboutIt
      @YouWontDoAnythingAboutIt 3 місяці тому +4

      That's really all they did. And all for the same type of men who they were rejected if they were Black. But they won't tell you that part.

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +2

      @@YouWontDoAnythingAboutIt - these clearly aren't the same type of men, since they obviously believe in marriage and celebrating their wives.

  • @sopuruchindubuisi2354
    @sopuruchindubuisi2354 3 місяці тому +6

    your dress is so beautiful and compliments your skin, hair and background beautifully

    • @keremti1
      @keremti1 3 місяці тому

      Where is the dress from? 😊

  • @TheAmelioratedWoman420
    @TheAmelioratedWoman420 3 місяці тому +5

    I love this trend for like-minded African American women and girls. A large majority of my friends are either married to or in relationships with othrmer groups of men. These couples are genuinely happy. I have a wedding to attend in two weeks between an African American woman and a White American man which will be in Georgia. He is a Business Analyst and she is a RN, they have been courting for 1 year and he proposed last Thanksgiving. I am so happy more like-minded African American women are going where they are loved. ❤

    • @LegendsofVana
      @LegendsofVana 3 місяці тому +2

      Congratulations on your friend's wedding! 😊♥️

  • @aMissAdventure
    @aMissAdventure 3 місяці тому +11

    Just dropped off half the wardrobe of my white husband’s closet. It’s Goodwill’s problem now. Great changes coming soon. 🎉😂

    • @dominique2966
      @dominique2966 3 місяці тому +1

      I'm in Target rolling at your comment 😂💁🏿‍♀️

    • @wiardikijne5158
      @wiardikijne5158 26 днів тому

      As a white guy this is like a nightmare to me lol

  • @madameblabla98
    @madameblabla98 3 місяці тому +3

    i just have to say- i love you so much, not in a creepy way, but I deeply appreciate your brain and the poise you bring to these topics. truly inspiring, i wanna be like you when i grow up.

  • @jordanpohl6856
    @jordanpohl6856 3 місяці тому +3

    I think this is more a function of social adaptism, where people in close continual proximity become more similar in behaviors. Most American men are not trained or educated on style, but most women have some form of routine and a better understanding of style. I think a man having a long term relationship with someone who is put together the men will osmotically pick up similar behavior over time.

  • @imariventura7881
    @imariventura7881 2 місяці тому +3

    The Black Wife effect is dope!

  • @rockfresh5359
    @rockfresh5359 3 місяці тому +17

    The 🛏️🔧 mentality is real ‼️

  • @roccafille
    @roccafille 3 місяці тому +4

    Can't believe that you have never been in a relationship 😱. You are super pretty, smart and creative. That was a really surprising thing to learn. Loved the topic, didn't hear about it before.

    • @enyamouth69
      @enyamouth69 3 місяці тому +7

      She holding out for brad 😂

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +4

      ​​@@enyamouth69- she's actually holding out for love. Which is something your demographic might like to try.

    • @kortlancharming
      @kortlancharming 3 місяці тому +1

      It's 4 Brad 😢

    • @garthyahudahandrews8504
      @garthyahudahandrews8504 3 місяці тому +1

      @@enyamouth69 definitely lol

    • @tadycakes00
      @tadycakes00 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@enyamouth69 If so, so what? Opening up her dating options is a very smart idea since wm, am and hm are more marriage minded than bm. Limiting herself to Only bm will most likely leave her another unmarried woman, single mother or both! Statistically speaking! 💯🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @Mychannels45
    @Mychannels45 3 місяці тому +15

    Plantation Trauma.

    • @Xnovality
      @Xnovality Місяць тому +2

      Doesn’t exist, y’all have no trauma from what your ancestors went through.

  • @e.terrelonge-griffithdefra9329
    @e.terrelonge-griffithdefra9329 3 місяці тому +2

    Welcome to the Jungle, where the males are the ones with the pretty feathers and bold stripes, antlers etc. Human males try their hand at this effect when they want a partner after they get the partner they forget......This Black Wife effect does wonders for this momentary lapse in attention to pre dating times.. I appreciate you for doing this..

  • @crownedinvictory91
    @crownedinvictory91 3 місяці тому +27

    It seems cute. I wish it included partners from all backgrounds including Black men tbh. Seems to reflect that, like you said, men get more out of being married (potentially at the expense of women..) in heterosexual relationships.

    • @GloriaReed-u2j
      @GloriaReed-u2j 3 місяці тому

      Nothing happens with you all, except being a run- away slave.( ie: Johnathan majors.)

    • @junyaiwase
      @junyaiwase 3 місяці тому +9

      Ima let the black women have this one, long as it’s not becoming weird against then

    • @neutraliserjanine
      @neutraliserjanine 3 місяці тому +7

      The husbands are the ones who took the initiative to praise their wife influence in their life. If you see less of one group of men it's because maybe those men don't care about their wife. Which actually shows on social media. They would rather talk about what's not good about those women than anything good about them.

    • @Mychannels45
      @Mychannels45 3 місяці тому

      You will never see blk women appreciating blk men. It's a plantation syndrome.

    • @Mychannels45
      @Mychannels45 3 місяці тому

      ​@@neutraliserjaninekeep yourself hate to ur self😅

  • @6em974
    @6em974 3 місяці тому +5

    As the representative for thirsty dudes everywhere I’d like to say “never had a relationship” is wild.

  • @sybilhaynesstudent4801
    @sybilhaynesstudent4801 3 місяці тому +3

    Thats a real thing. The balance is love, appreciate and fun. I've had a white boyfriend. I laughed most of the time. Its like a new everlasting bestie, except the mother and father in laws.

  • @sullengirl808
    @sullengirl808 2 місяці тому +1

    The black wife effect, has always been around, it’s the quite part every black family poked fun at to their adopted family member. The matching outfits, the glow up, the language switch, immersing in the culture, were gonna say something! We can spot a non black person who is genuinely changed or inspired by the culture, without trying to hard and still be themselves within it.

  • @IndianaRose-d1g
    @IndianaRose-d1g 2 місяці тому +3

    I like the black wife effect we do bring our the swag in others

    • @ramonamron5194
      @ramonamron5194 Місяць тому +2

      Who cares. Real people with money don't spend money on such foolishness.

    • @brebri89
      @brebri89 Місяць тому +1

      @@ramonamron5194🤡

    • @Angeldaisy-ji6sp
      @Angeldaisy-ji6sp 29 днів тому +1

      ​@@ramonamron5194you do apparently, since you commented

  • @colinneagle4495
    @colinneagle4495 3 місяці тому +8

    To me, the implications of "The Black Wife Effect" are twofold. First, that it's the job of women in general to "fix" men, in this case their appearance, but in many other ways as well. The second being the stereotype that Black people are all inherently cool and stylish. These overlapping expectations create a situation ripe for "The Black Wife Effect" to flourish. It's easy for a new narrative to take hold when it fulfills societies preconceived notions, so if society thinks women are supposed to fix their man, and Black people are experts in style and confidence, then it's easy to imagine a Black Wife fixing her husband’s appearance. To me, assuming that one group of people "should" do something for another group is where this gets problematic. Yes, being told you are fashionable and confident is a nice complement to receive! But what is a complement when told to one person quickly becomes an insult when told to an entire segment of the population. So I guess I'm just wary of this internet phenomena and the story that it tells people.

  • @YaleStewartArt
    @YaleStewartArt 2 місяці тому +1

    I guess my issue with the trend is that it soft-reinforces the low-effort culture of men. You know there are dudes out there seeing this as "You can present as a schlub and still pull a baddy, and once you do, they'll glow you up!" which is not a great takeaway.
    And to be very clear, effort =/= expense. You do not need a $5000 custom suit to show effort. Brush your teeth. Comb your hair. Just put some level of thought into how you present yourself. Odds are that your date is giving it thought. It's only polite to give it thought in kind.

  • @Daughter777_
    @Daughter777_ 3 місяці тому +3

    Very efficient synopsis. Great job.

  • @Burn143
    @Burn143 3 місяці тому +1

    5:58 “Put the athleisure down, we are getting margaritas on the rocks, we are not going rock climbing”😂

  • @NeverWednesday
    @NeverWednesday 15 днів тому

    Late but like. My now ex NEVER put effort into what they wore. We went to a MUSICAL and they wore JEANS AND A GRAPHIC TEE. Im still miffed about it tbh. Like my parents gifted us their fancy tickets to a private bar because they couldnt go and i dressed up in this cute skirt and blouse and... that was matched with jeans and a graphic tee

  • @SeeingSebastian
    @SeeingSebastian 2 місяці тому +1

    It's true that our culture is strong, so we effect any environment we come in contact with. For better or for worse. However, there's give and take in every relationship. There are plenty of these lovely stories and plenty of negative ones as well.
    I think men's style has been a growing phenomenon over the last 30 years. Men are still learning to stand out in the style department. Women have a 10000 year head start on us 😆
    Great video, with a beautiful and intelligent host 👏🏾 love the glasses

  • @timjhonson3792
    @timjhonson3792 3 місяці тому +3

    Yeah they treat Joey like a king but they treat my man black like trash

    • @ksager123
      @ksager123 3 місяці тому +5

      And they're openly admitting it. Thats whats wild

    • @cseptember6562
      @cseptember6562 2 місяці тому +5

      Yep. They would never do any of that for a black man

    • @wiardikijne5158
      @wiardikijne5158 26 днів тому

      Why do you think that? That's just one possibility. Two others:
      1) they would treat any man good, glowing up whoever asked for their hand first.
      2) she still treats (all) guys like trash but Joey just submits to her whims
      You also have the black husband effect.. and like this girl said you also have the general girlfriend effect. This shows that it's not really about color

  • @ZoZoe2
    @ZoZoe2 3 місяці тому +1

    i love your production! this is so well thought out and entertaining

  • @loganhurley4764
    @loganhurley4764 3 місяці тому +1

    Rick Grimes is a good example of this. When Lori left TWD, and Rick grew closer to Michonne, Rick’s whole aura was upgraded from slender policeman to gruff and rugged warrior. Then again, he *was* in the middle of an apocalypse…

  • @VantineTime
    @VantineTime 3 місяці тому +2

    This was excellent. You're right, it's a wholesome and healthy trend.🎉😊

  • @metalguitarist8383
    @metalguitarist8383 3 місяці тому +8

    Let me just say that I commend everybody for staying mostly positive in the comments. Many people are trolling about this subject and it's sad. I understand that people have constructive criticism but the trolling is getting old. I'm an old white dude that have seen my best years behind me but I've never seen this much anger & hostility towards seemingly innocent couples. This video is enjoyable to watch with a good perspective. Great job!

    • @WatchingEyes-g9w
      @WatchingEyes-g9w 2 місяці тому

      No it's not. It's meant to demean black men. I'm a black woman and have a black son who loves black women. I have a father grandfather who are good men. The comments down black men
      A lot of these women have taken past and bad experiences that they inflicted upon themselves,and now categorizing all Black men as being no good while a white man is better
      This is bs..WHY DOES IT MATTER...IS MY POINT

  • @neutraliserjanine
    @neutraliserjanine 3 місяці тому +10

    You shouldn't use Justin Bieber as the example due to his traumatic emotional distress. He is not healthy due to one group of men. Please allow him grace for another decade to heal from his trauma.

  • @Exodus26.13Pi
    @Exodus26.13Pi 3 місяці тому +11

    Feminine and outstanding presentation. You have a sweet spirit.

  • @clydu91
    @clydu91 3 місяці тому +13

    A Swirler's paradise.

    • @cow1959
      @cow1959 3 місяці тому +1

      Nice pfp lol

  • @antoniolondon5878
    @antoniolondon5878 3 місяці тому +6

    Daughters of the Trade is alive n well in 2024!….#Dontgetchoppedup!!!

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +1

      What about the fathers of those daughters?

  • @singlemamanodrama4546
    @singlemamanodrama4546 3 місяці тому +2

    You are one of the best content creators on UA-cam!

  • @chrisbailey9377
    @chrisbailey9377 3 місяці тому +4

    Only to a simp.
    Real man isn't changing for anybody.
    Ladies. Find yourself a sigma
    Not a simp you can mold. Just saying

    • @tylerd.5694
      @tylerd.5694 3 місяці тому +1

      Came here to say something along these lines

    • @WatchingEyes-g9w
      @WatchingEyes-g9w 2 місяці тому +1

      They want to control

  • @TheUAProdigy
    @TheUAProdigy 3 місяці тому +2

    Attraction seemingly stops mattering when yt men are involved. Secondarily the assertion that these women are in loving relationships is a result of the subject being yt men. They're always getting every benefit of doubt there is to give.

  • @darthbee18
    @darthbee18 3 місяці тому +2

    If it weren't for Amanda I wouldn't have been aware of various tiktok microtrends atm 😅😅🙈🙈

  • @amirsim2479
    @amirsim2479 2 місяці тому +2

    What a beauty Amanda is !!

  • @captivesojourner
    @captivesojourner 3 місяці тому +13

    The Bed Wrench effect is even realer

    • @AkilahIsHuman
      @AkilahIsHuman 3 місяці тому +9

      Still sounds better than the single mother effect

    • @djlivvy46
      @djlivvy46 3 місяці тому +2

      Seems like a good time to examine the Buck W*nch Effect. 👀

    • @basedseraph4965
      @basedseraph4965 3 місяці тому +6

      I can't stand divestors. This is embarrassing.

  • @yukis2cool
    @yukis2cool 3 місяці тому

    Great video. I think it's also important how confident you can become in a relationship. Clothing is one of the best ways to affirm a person's gender. Before you're in a relationship, you need to come off a certain way and however you want to portray yourself will be dependent on the people you're around. I think that when a white masc is in a relationship with a Black femme, the way they want to affirm their gender will change to make them feel more comfortable in the relationship, or try conveying their gender in a new way.
    The whole Pasta & Lobster Cinematic Universe (lol) is fascinating to see unfold. Anthropologists will be eating all this up a few decades from now.

  • @steampunkerella
    @steampunkerella 3 місяці тому +9

    there's also the black wife effect in making white men less insane. my favourite example is the comedian bill burr

    • @suezcontours6653
      @suezcontours6653 3 місяці тому +2

      Lord, Bill Burr + Nia are my fave podcast

  • @Peekul1
    @Peekul1 3 місяці тому +5

    Very happily married to my Kenyan wife. 😊

  • @sonofatlas1372
    @sonofatlas1372 3 місяці тому +5

    As a white man can I be real here the black women we mostly choose is African or Caribbean not American so you should also ask what’s the back ground of those women.

    • @dominique2966
      @dominique2966 3 місяці тому +5

      Don't act like us Black Americans aren't dating outside our race 😂 My husband is Asian.

  • @Caprice-go2td
    @Caprice-go2td 3 місяці тому +5

    SEFF HATE IS A REAL THING

  • @lerona1974
    @lerona1974 3 місяці тому

    I will say, theu did show this effect on black husbands as well. It was, to me, showing what a loving relationship can do

  • @dadiva2475
    @dadiva2475 3 місяці тому +3

    Both of my black sisters have been married to white men for 7 and 10 years and each have 3 children. I am seeing more and more WM and BW unions. BW are finally waking up and exploring men who treat them well and truly love that #Melanin

  • @LisaLee__
    @LisaLee__ Місяць тому +1

    It's deeper than just looks. But cool video. Beautiful woman