Banned From Happy Donuts / 23 Minutes of Ranting with False Peyote

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  • Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
  • Why does Lophophora diffusa resemble a St. Patrick's Day Donut that's been accidentally sat on? How does a plant evolve the photochemistry that it takes to be a spineless cactus in an often barren hot lowland desert in Mexico's Bajío region? What makes Astrophytum ornatum so ornate? Why is Euphorbia tirucalli called "pencil cactus" even though it's not a cactus? How did it get to be invasive here?
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 118

  • @loganmeo9531
    @loganmeo9531 3 місяці тому +64

    Fiberglass in the urethra is a thought crime. I love your use of the english language never stop.

  • @morningstar8187
    @morningstar8187 3 місяці тому +63

    Everything is legal to grow if you ask the seed bank to mislabel the seeds. I love my Echinocactus williamsii.

    • @yaddahaysmarmalite4059
      @yaddahaysmarmalite4059 2 місяці тому +2

      Who needs mislabeling when you can go for Lophophora decipiens? The whole point behind that name is no one knows what it is. Personally, I'd really like to see some dna studies on plants indicated as L. decipiens. I'm with Tony here: I find it odd that L. difusa and L. fricii aren't more common in cultivation in the US. They technically aren't illegal nor is the wtf L. decipiens. I find fricii to be prettier plants than williamsii anyways.

    • @DothBeEthan
      @DothBeEthan Місяць тому

      ​@@yaddahaysmarmalite4059they're not federally prohibited. But unfortunately all L. Species are illegal to grow in some states like California. I mean for me, it would be illegal to plant, cultivate, harvest, dry or process plants, but technically possessing seeds would be legal as long as they never germinated.
      It's funny that the entire L. Genus is prohibited, even the non-psychoactive ones, but I can grow other mescaline containing cacti without restriction. California's laws are backwards as hell.

    • @DothBeEthan
      @DothBeEthan Місяць тому

      I mean they don't technically prohibit selling seeds to California as long as they are never germinated, who's to say that the natural range doesn't extend that far though. They may very well find newly discovered, naturally occuring populations of Lophophora fricii

  • @mistaecco
    @mistaecco 3 місяці тому +79

    I totally did shoplift an optunia microdasys from home depot, and in pocketing it ended up with a wonderful fiberglass-y feeling on my entire hand foor the rest of the day. I now bring a fanny pack and a set of ziplock bags on my urban scavenging operations.

    • @omnirath
      @omnirath 3 місяці тому +10

      My grandpa who was a monster told me to use a pocket fan on one to cut the needles when I was very tiny, safe to say that to this day it was one of the worst evenings of my life, it was everywhere and unbearable

    • @Heavilymoderated
      @Heavilymoderated 3 місяці тому +14

      @@omnirathMy grandpa was a nice guy, but one time I asked him about a pepper plant he had growing, and he told me to try one, they aren’t very hot. I was like 6 so I grabbed one and started eating it. Turned out to be a habanero. I learned not to trust anyone that day. Was out of character for him.

    • @Cannastrophic
      @Cannastrophic 3 місяці тому

      😅​@@Heavilymoderated

    • @tree_relics
      @tree_relics 3 місяці тому +1

      That and Cereus peruvianus were my first plants at 4-5 years old. I learned young about glochids for a Midwestern boy.

    • @oakherder17
      @oakherder17 3 місяці тому +1

      😂

  • @davidedgar2818
    @davidedgar2818 3 місяці тому +17

    I love your sgn off🤙🤙🤙 when I first moved to Hawaii I had to watch myself. F&@# You is fighting words here, I had to explain tha F&@# You is a morning greeting to your neighbor in New York, where I grew up 😂😂😂 no harm meant braddah🤙🤙🤙

    • @roguebotanist
      @roguebotanist 3 місяці тому +1

      My fellow Texans are shocked when they encounter a New Yorker but I tell them he is being polite.

  • @gloriacardenas2056
    @gloriacardenas2056 3 місяці тому +15

    Todavía estoy viendo el vídeo y el peyote falso es muy bonito e interesante aunque no entiendo el idioma muchísimas gracias por subir esos vídeos de cactus me encanta casi todo 👍👍👍👍👌

    • @yaddahaysmarmalite4059
      @yaddahaysmarmalite4059 2 місяці тому

      don't worry about it. there's not much language to understand. or worth understanding. unless getting kicked out of a Happy Donut is important to you.

    • @poisonouspotato1
      @poisonouspotato1 2 місяці тому

      ​@@yaddahaysmarmalite4059I guess missing out on some jokes is also quite a bother

  • @katiekane5247
    @katiekane5247 3 місяці тому +14

    Disturbing decrease in pollinators in north Georgia and insane UV lately. Stuff is blooming way early.
    Thanks for showing me things I'd never have gotten to appreciate on my own. Love them smooshy Lofs

  • @thothbaboon
    @thothbaboon 3 місяці тому +1

    The red spines are really interesting, thanks for sharing that fact.

  • @lacroix3931
    @lacroix3931 3 місяці тому +2

    This is truly the greatest channel on UA-cam

  • @AlaskanInsights
    @AlaskanInsights 3 місяці тому +13

    LOL, we ate a bunch of some cactus once...
    didn't get high but we could see in the dark.

  • @adamsd86
    @adamsd86 3 місяці тому +3

    Potentially dumb but sincere question: is it possible the short (and admittedly corny) wall around the eight-foot cactus helps prevent erosion that would eventually destabilize it? Or is that thing just rooted deep af and the wall is pointless?
    Another theory: maybe it discourages people from fucking with it by signaling that the cactus is valued/monitored??
    I guess I’m just trying to square the corniness of the wall with the fact that whoever built it was at least smart enough to appreciate the cactus as something unique.

  • @taleandclawrock2606
    @taleandclawrock2606 3 місяці тому +6

    Ants may have nuptial flights of new virgin queens and fertile male drones, they come out around a thunderstorm, the extra humidity assists the establishments of new ant domains.❤

  • @Heavilymoderated
    @Heavilymoderated 3 місяці тому +12

    I get that impulse to take rocks. I have almost inadvertently wound up with a ton of them laying around my house.

    • @jackstone4291
      @jackstone4291 3 місяці тому +1

      You gotta love a rock though right?! Same here.

    • @thomaseriksen6885
      @thomaseriksen6885 2 місяці тому +1

      Arrange them in the garden for aesthetic purposes and save space

  • @danstotland6386
    @danstotland6386 3 місяці тому +4

    To Hell with Happy Donuts, don't go there!

  • @Toddis
    @Toddis 3 місяці тому +7

    Top notch commentary 👍

  • @mrpricklythecactus
    @mrpricklythecactus 3 місяці тому +10

    I'd be so nervous walking around there! Or anywhere ever. Don't want to step on the little guys! 🏜️

  • @moefuggerr2970
    @moefuggerr2970 3 місяці тому +14

    Someone peed there.

    • @bugz000
      @bugz000 3 місяці тому +4

      i think we're listening to the guy who peed there

  • @thelegion_within
    @thelegion_within 3 місяці тому +9

    those red thorns on that cactus were pretty neat! happy 4th!

  • @dhaktizero4406
    @dhaktizero4406 3 місяці тому +3

    what would happen if you accidentally dropped some baking soda on the ground near those chlorotic diffusa
    is it not a chemistry problem when nitrogen is locked up
    or do they need a bacteria or soil fungus to help them?
    we are doing bad at gardening
    someone call the paraplantmedics
    this one needs fluids stat!

  • @jerrodbeck1799
    @jerrodbeck1799 3 місяці тому +1

    Hahah cactus fiberglass in your urethra ouch👍🏻

  • @noxot13
    @noxot13 3 місяці тому +2

    I can't believe that those large flightless birds in australia ate the invasive opuntia, some of the things other animals will or can eat is pretty crazy. apparently the australians got ride of the problem with a moth which in the USA is causing problems for some opuntia in some parts.

  • @ronm3245
    @ronm3245 3 місяці тому +2

    I also have rocks that I brought home. A real nice chunk of light gray obsidian, a block of almost pure anorthite, plus a bit of a very large geode encrusted with vanadinite. They really make the best people. No complaining, always there.

  • @junkettarp8942
    @junkettarp8942 3 місяці тому +4

    How do you guys do it???...Yet another profound presentation by Tony and crew skillfully designed to get us off the lounge and into the garden....We might even go for a swim down the dam.

  • @Toddis
    @Toddis 3 місяці тому +3

    High elevation? He was breathing harder than usual
    And it's fusion going on in the sun 🌞
    🎶"The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace
    Where Hydrogen is fused into Helium at a temperature of millions of degrees" 🎶

  • @NanaWilson-px9ij
    @NanaWilson-px9ij 3 місяці тому +2

    Awesome.

  • @Anubis30224
    @Anubis30224 3 місяці тому +2

    After how shit the political situation in America is right now, i really fucking needed this.

  • @veteranscannabisadvocacygr5401
    @veteranscannabisadvocacygr5401 3 місяці тому +4

    ✨🇺🇸 HAPPY 4th Of July Independence Day 🎆 “Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose “🎇

  • @Padraic-uq3sh
    @Padraic-uq3sh 3 місяці тому +1

    What's all that grey matter on the bottom half of that Opuntia microdasys?

  • @ZE308AC
    @ZE308AC 3 місяці тому +3

    I like the fluffy shits from natives plants

  • @lillith665
    @lillith665 3 місяці тому +2

    zomg keep talkin' geological cretaceous calcareous alluvium...sew hawt

  • @organicpharming6181
    @organicpharming6181 3 місяці тому +4

    Can't get enough of the Loph content!

  • @darranwilkins4648
    @darranwilkins4648 3 місяці тому +2

    kin yes more crime pays fella gotta get to my neck woods eccosse just silly and free roaming ❤

  • @farrahupson
    @farrahupson 3 місяці тому +4

    Love this channel & all the cactus.

  • @grouch0424
    @grouch0424 2 місяці тому +1

    You should do an episode of you and Michael Rapaport venturing through talking shit about every invasive!!!!! 😂😂😂

  • @Ludvig11
    @Ludvig11 3 місяці тому +3

    Bless the rains in México (but not too much...) I do think some colors out there has an underappreciated beauty to it.

  • @Toddis
    @Toddis 3 місяці тому +3

    Joey bringin the rain 🌧️ 💪

  • @erikdeeNOSPELLSNO
    @erikdeeNOSPELLSNO 2 місяці тому +1

    It's amazing how most poisonous, venomous, nasty ass thorned biting creatures are in hot climates...

  • @colettehaskell9133
    @colettehaskell9133 3 місяці тому +1

    5280!!! Me too! Greetings from Denver you dapper bastard xox thanks for the soul saving videos ❤

  • @dhaktizero4406
    @dhaktizero4406 3 місяці тому +1

    we've seen the grafting
    we know they can be farmed with love
    when do we get to eat feast on them already
    it does not have to tear the doors off the hinges to be good medicine
    or good eating
    you give your liver a thousand shiny new tools for christmas
    see what fun it can have giving these gifts to the other organs
    dont be an ebenezer
    dont scrooge us
    let's permaculture this
    and fresh they taste pretty good
    all sun warmed
    little globes of sweet jelly in a gritty fruit leather like matrix
    or maybe they only taste good if you grow them yourself
    time for some fun science!

  • @allenzophy4262
    @allenzophy4262 3 місяці тому +3

    Happy 4th Joey. GFYS, Bye!😅

  • @bobbiechinn9578
    @bobbiechinn9578 2 місяці тому +1

    You know the ants farm mealies and aphids on anything they can now come on, what the shit

  • @my_post_traumatic_growth
    @my_post_traumatic_growth 3 місяці тому +1

    What kind of boots are you wearing because I would be sliding down that scree at :53 and you are gaining in elevation every millisecond with each step?

  • @roberte8273
    @roberte8273 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for another informative, irreverant, and brutally eloquent presentation.

  • @hestheMaster
    @hestheMaster 3 місяці тому +1

    I came to see the fluffy shitz and wasn't disappointed.

  • @4eyefoxbodyfanclub625
    @4eyefoxbodyfanclub625 2 місяці тому +1

    19:15 OMG!!!.... will ya keep ya hands of the cacti?! You like a little kid, gots to touch everything! If ya not gonna plant them seeds, then keep ya hands off ya crazy Italian! Ya made the grub homeless, dont disturb nature!

  • @johnwoodrich8179
    @johnwoodrich8179 3 місяці тому +3

    Beautiful. Great show.

  • @christianhunt7382
    @christianhunt7382 3 місяці тому

    People should put cool stuff in environments that would fossilize well. Besides plastics bags and trash, more like things that wouldn't have a chance otherwise

  • @douglascoleman5588
    @douglascoleman5588 3 місяці тому +1

    The intro is like the start of a marathon or 5k. Everyone is just running together, then it starts getting a little more quiet and spread out. The noise in the beginning of a big race with real competition is a whole drug for anyone who ends up in the front of the pack.

  • @jackwood8307
    @jackwood8307 3 місяці тому +1

  • @wizewizard1840
    @wizewizard1840 3 місяці тому +1

    I love your videos! I love the beauty you are showing and I love the endless rambling and ranting. Your voice is so nice to listen to.
    Greetings from my Lophophoras here in Germany! Love seeing them in habitat in your videos!

    • @oakherder17
      @oakherder17 3 місяці тому

      The voice is amazing, never hear anything like it here in South australia XD

  • @Suitswonderland
    @Suitswonderland 2 місяці тому

    Its been cold and wet in Scotland all spring and so far summer, non stop icy cold artic winds and maybe you lucky and get some sun before the Island starts giving us its own pride parade.

  • @yaddahaysmarmalite4059
    @yaddahaysmarmalite4059 2 місяці тому

    if I was with you on that trip, I would have been so tempted to grab some of those rocks. those were some cool rocks. eh, the L. difusa and A. ornatum was nice to. but those rocks!! There's a local geology club I keep thinking of hooking up with but I'm already busy with the local astronomy club. Tony, if I ever come to visit you, I'm bringing a telescope. You show me plants; I'll show you stars. Deal?

  • @NORATECHNOLOGIES
    @NORATECHNOLOGIES 3 місяці тому +2

    Great channel,

  • @machankinson1795
    @machankinson1795 2 місяці тому

    “Its fucking comedic… it’s brutal”

  • @quinokin8954
    @quinokin8954 3 місяці тому

    Just gotta say that you're right on both fronts about the sun: it's both fusion AND fision, but fusion is predominant :)

  • @hranko3143
    @hranko3143 2 місяці тому

    Badaboop, badabing, we got some cactus heyah.

  • @infinidimensionalinfinitie5021
    @infinidimensionalinfinitie5021 3 місяці тому +1

    y/our kiddin';

  • @goldenwithahintofboss8787
    @goldenwithahintofboss8787 2 місяці тому

    😂😂 so funny today. Thanks for the fluffy chits.

  • @TimTimTomTom
    @TimTimTomTom 2 місяці тому

    Is that crested fasciation(sp) at 11:35, or just how they are?

  • @boxcutter0
    @boxcutter0 3 місяці тому +2

    Ever camp in a place like this, and water some of the plants on day one, and watch them wake up over the following days?

  • @oh5148
    @oh5148 2 місяці тому

    Let me get a list of the types of lophs I can legally grow in tx

  • @jdsevolvingideas
    @jdsevolvingideas 2 місяці тому

    Would love so to see some nice money shots of da queen

  • @analogtom
    @analogtom 3 місяці тому

    Fence post looks like some type of foam base…

  • @HyrimBot
    @HyrimBot 3 місяці тому +2

    it says they can make gasoline with the latex from that pencil cactus tree so somebody should market it as "plant based" gas for vegan cars.

  • @vcuauhtemoc
    @vcuauhtemoc 2 місяці тому

    I've definitely peed in a happy donut

  • @taleandclawrock2606
    @taleandclawrock2606 3 місяці тому

    You should visit Ants Canada😍

  • @youtubeaccount931
    @youtubeaccount931 3 місяці тому

    i'd still eat it and get false enlightened

  • @rasdan_69
    @rasdan_69 2 місяці тому

    what does biznaga mean?

  • @larrikinful
    @larrikinful 3 місяці тому

    No one needs to do anything with lophophora when we have abundant trichocereus.

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  3 місяці тому +1

      Not sure if you can read or not but this Lophophora species doesn't even contain any significant amount of psychoactive alkaloids.

  • @lillith665
    @lillith665 3 місяці тому

    LOL "my old friend Tasajillo....gaahhhhh!"
    nooooo I am totally noooot inhaling any dibenzopyrans.

  • @fordprefect80
    @fordprefect80 3 місяці тому

    Speaking of Happy Donut. I thought all shops were closed and boarded up in the Bay Area?

  • @lillith665
    @lillith665 3 місяці тому

    I think you underestimate the awesomocity of clouds, really.

  • @oakherder17
    @oakherder17 3 місяці тому

    I move rocks with me too. Was couch surfing for eighteen months and just kept dragging massive garden rocks around. They look amazing in my tiny court yard garden now. Have a real sense of age and gravitas and character in this new build.

  • @5attva
    @5attva 3 місяці тому

    In the desert sw. it did not necessarily get hotter. The hottest days shortened actually and it gets less rain and snow than before, which is the only true part. For some reason people equate hot, being the reason for less precipitation. As a matter of fact, it gets the most rain in the hot summer days.
    Also, it gets these bizarre days where the temperature drops 50 degrees in one day and it gets cold. Then back to hot.

  • @billpuppies
    @billpuppies 3 місяці тому

    I'm getting the extra large box of Fluffy Shits!

  • @canadiangemstones7636
    @canadiangemstones7636 2 місяці тому

    6:40 breccia oh my!

  • @drewamasterpiece5268
    @drewamasterpiece5268 3 місяці тому

    Ask a Sanoran toad.

  • @krishead2410
    @krishead2410 2 місяці тому

    Love lophophora

  • @PenntuckytheCrag
    @PenntuckytheCrag 3 місяці тому

  • @larrikinful
    @larrikinful 3 місяці тому

    Yous guys are stealing seeds.

    • @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
      @CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt  3 місяці тому +2

      1. None of these were even fruiting at the time, dummy.
      2. I'm not opposed to people taking seeds so long as they scatter some for the plants, as well, unless regeneration is extremely limited and a population or species is rare.
      3. Don't blow up my comments section with idiotic comments and accusations

  • @kavalkid1
    @kavalkid1 3 місяці тому

    Love you forever and always!

  • @ByronGiant
    @ByronGiant 3 місяці тому

    Thanks Uncle Ton'

  • @lillith665
    @lillith665 3 місяці тому

    veiny limestone is rad, though
    there are happy donuts in WA but I don't think they're really a chain, they're just all over.
    Like Nasai Teriyaki?
    that's deer or goat poop, btw
    I wanna know more about mesquite evolution! (pretty please?)

  • @lukehahn4489
    @lukehahn4489 2 місяці тому +1

    I'm getting a ruler tattoo on my finger then start a youtube channel "Crime pays and so do lawns" all about mono-culture grasses, the benefits of aerating, mower reviews, pesticides, the cultural significance of manicured green turf, etc.
    My catch phrase, "Take care of your lawn ya prick!" What ya think of that Tony?

  • @Westbound100
    @Westbound100 3 місяці тому

    👍👍👍👍👍

  • @26hurban
    @26hurban 3 місяці тому

    Why ya huffin n puffin? 😂❤😂

  • @Ntheonaut
    @Ntheonaut 2 місяці тому

    1-800-fluffy-shits 😂