Spoiler for those that want to come to the conclusion that I get to. Which is isn't any act of self-love wanting to make yourself a better person? Transitioning because you love yourself and wanting to be the best version of yourself possible is no different than other other CIS person's experience. What it ultimately comes down to is the human experience. We just want to embrace who we are and be the best that we can possibly achieve. Why not be attractive if you want to be? Why not be a woman? That and more in this video. Just wanted to clarify as some people got caught up on the Autogynephilia rhetoric of the original authors. 🤗💌
Can you decustruct men who have trans attraction.? I am one but only if the woman is post op.. It may sound uneducated .but it's my truth. It's not so much a fetish from my POV. But an attraction to their feminine nature on their part and a invitation and permission to be masculine on my part.. I am attracted to cis gender women too and not intimidated by strong women or Smart women. But do enjoy my role of being a stoic and steady support for the women I date. I watch videos like yours to understand what is the reasoning behind my attraction. And what it is that trans women go threw . And how I can be supportive.
"Why not be a woman?" You can't be a woman because you're male and it is extremely offensive to talk about womanhood as if it is a costume you can put on. You are free to express yourself as you choose but please don't claim to be what you are not.
@@Skuffy777 bro wtf are you talking about 😐being trans isn’t about just dressing up as female my guy..trans people don’t see y’all like that and idk why y’all think we do
@@Skuffy777 we are a woman so get over it, womanhood is different for everyone and how everyone gets to it is different same goes for man hood so get tf out your feelings
I wouldn't say that autogynephilia doesn't exist, I have seen some people who feel it describes their situation, but I take issue with the idea that it is one of only 2 drivers of MTF transition according to Blanchard. There are many reasons people identify as trans and to reduce it to 2 possibilities is ignorant. Particularly when both are framed in the context of sexual attraction/arousal. That said, the entire idea caused me a lot of confusion and stress early on as I tried to distinguish the difference for myself, especially considering that most definitions I found do center around the sexual aspect and basically call it out as a deviancy or perversion. Wrestling with the idea was extremely difficult but I am glad I worked through it early. I can only imagine the anxiety someone might have if they tried to tackle the idea a year into HRT or as a surgery or something was coming up.
I feel that repression and shame are big contributors as well, I spent my adolescence trying to project a masculine image and refusing to acknowledge that I was trans, I think usually when your hiding such a big part of yourself its bound to get a little messy when you finally face it.
Yes! I view the sexuality aspect of one’s desire to transition and the arousal that comes with it as kind of a way that your sexuality is being an expression of a subconscious or deeper desire of just being a female. It’s that the sexuality aspect of things is much louder and easier signal that can bypass your unconscious mind to send you the message. Which is that you’re a woman. Simple as that!
Hi Ashley! I didn't transition from Andrew to Andrea for sexual reasons and I didn't cross-dress before I transitioned. I was non binary for about a year. I transitioned to be the best version of me! And I can't argue with success, Love Andrea
I was number in here for a few years too! I’m glad that you did it for yourself. The complex day that we dig into here is an actually about sexuality but more about this concept of self love being an extension of obsession with an idea of being a female. Interesting thing to think about for sure. Lovely to hear from you as I was Andrea! You are gorgeous by the way!
I figured out I was trans cause from very early in my adolescence I felt attracted to both women and men but I realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t what others went through and not only that but my attraction to women was more to the idea of them. I loved the idea of becoming a woman and when I realized other guys were turned on by the idea of having sex with a women it freaked me out cause that wasn’t how I thought about it at all. I think that the idea of autogynephilia partly what I experienced but it seems to me a very antiquated and backwards way of understanding it. My brain is not projecting my attraction to women onto myself. If I was simply attracted to women I would’ve gotten a girlfriend and proceeded to become the big masculine man my parents wanted and gone happily with my life until I maybe realized I fucked up at the age of 40. Instead I failed every attempt at having the normal cis hetero life in high school and college cause everything felt wrong and I bumped my head against the wall until there was no way of ignoring the fact I want to be a woman. The erotic aspect was a huge part of what made me discover this part of myself but the way the it’s discussed frames it as just a kink
i'm transitioning because i lived my life in fear of myself. i always pushed away the thoughts because of that fear. i'm happy now. 1 yr on hrt. i didn't transition to be a woman, i transition because that fear was fueled by other people who could careless about me. i transition to be me. thanks for the awesome content.
As many below have stated, I spent a large part of my teen years cross dressing in private and told myself it was a kink. From as early as I can remember I was drawn to any sort of trans representation in media and privately playing with my dresses, far before sexuality entered the conversation. I more or less thought it was Autogynephilia before I even knew what that was. I was scared, I didn't want to accept the fact that I was trans. I held that same view of myself through my 20's and early 30's until I finally had to tell my partner that I had "gender issues." She is a great person and encouraged me to explore whatever I thought that meant. I eventually found myself wanting to present female more than male and was able (and lucky enough) to realize that I am my better self as a woman, and that I am and have always been trans. In that time I have found a healthier lifestyle, I have formed stronger friendships, I have learned to love and accept myself and I have become a better person and partner than when I was lying to myself about what my transness was. Before I was able to accept myself, I would absolutely get turned on by the thought and act of cross dressing, but the way I see it is that I was so repressed and closeted that it was the only way for my authentic self to find air and get out. It was my heart trying to send a message to my brain that this is who you are, and you're going to have to deal with this. If someone identifies as an Autogynephiliac (sp?) and that makes their life better, then good. But I know when I did, inadvertently, it was only b/c I was so afraid and shameful of what was actually going on. Do I still feel a little turned on when I am wearing a dress, heels and I look devastating, absolutely. But when I am wearing yoga pants and running in a park, there is no sexual component to it, if anything it's a protective measure from dying of exhaustion. The beginning stages of living authentically are all scary and exciting, and since I was so repressed for so long I just believe that my body didn't know what to do. So I would wonder how many people who have Autogynephilia have actually spent significant time living authentically in a day to day manner. I don't mean to shame anyone who does, and that is not what I am doing. I do take issue with it b/c it feels like an attempt to explain transness as some kind of disorder, when the truth is that my only "disorder" was shame and repression, and my cure was being honest and brave. (Full disclosure, I did not read the article, so take that for what it's worth).
Lovely message and story! I totally had a similar experience about not wanting to admit, and then moving through the stages. To say things simply I think sexuality is often a backdoor of our unfilled consciousness and if that consciousness female it's going to speak if it's not heard through traditional means!
this video really helped me. i personally related to the definition of autogynephilia, but i agree it puts too much emphasis on the sexual nature of transitioning, so much so it disregards the other factors involved in transitioning. I myself had this concern, as whenever i try to cross dress I like how i look in the mirror but thinking about it i dont wish to be seen, having a stereotypical male figure wearing a dress makes me feel like i’m wearing my dysphoria. i just feel perpetually sad when i cross dress because my body just doesn’t fit the dress and i’m stuck depressed in some uncomfortable clothes. personally, i related more to the scenario you painted where i can just slap on a dress as a woman because i want to feel comfortable in a dress and not be so eye-catching. of course females own the dress, but when a man wears a dress it’s seen as something progressive, they’re fighting for their right to wear whatever they want. i just want to wear whatever and not divide people.
This was the clearest explanation for it. I had this issue of guilt and misunderstanding for a long time and said it is what it is but still never truly understood. Seems like it’s a coping or tool to discovery in some way but the outside perspective tries to force us to believe something like it’s false which makes it so confusing mentally for some of us. Really wish I watched this when I started having guilt. Could of even transitioned earlier but life has its reasons for the better.
It’s a lot of processing and deep deep work. I’m glad that you have found a lot of value out of this video. I had to spend a lot of time thinking about it to see how I could express and understand and deconstruct this because it’s a very complex topic but ultimately I think it’s really simple. There are ways that your subconscious will want to communicate to you and sometimes it will have to find ways in which you may not have control over which can be your sexuality. I view it as a back door of communication to tell you something and bring attention to something so that your conscious mind could potentially process it. Sexualities one aspect of this but ultimately it’s also about just loving yourself and wanting to be a desirable person however you identify.
im 31, and i am in the very beginning stages of transition. it's so difficult to decipher all of these emotions towards transition itself. I really want to, but at the same time i feel like I am not real.
In what sense are you not feel? You will always be real no matter who you are. It’s really just about pushing the boundaries of your own comfort zone to find what feels right for you and sell into that which will help you become who you are. Sometimes becoming who you are and being yourself is a process of letting go and destroying all the things that were put onto you that society made.
@@AshleyxAdamson I want to transition, but then again I don't because of how hard it would be, and I think I might* be ok if I just didn't all together... I guess I just have to keep going and seeing if it all feels natural.
"how hard it can be" is very relative and I'd just stick with seeing what feels right. I though transitioning would be a lot harder and I was wrong. It depends on your context, and what support systems you can put in place.
Autogynephilia (derived from Greek for 'love of oneself as a woman') is the term Blanchard coined for "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female", intending for the term to refer to "the full gamut of erotically arousing cross-gender behaviors and fantasies". This does not say transwomen, he says males who crossdress. If I had told my NP this why I wanted to transition he would have said no. As we have discussed this gross term that Blanchard coined, this has nothing to do with gender dysphoria. Whether you are a MtF or FtM you have to have gender dysphoria to transition with medical help in Ontario. When Blanchard ran the Clarke now CAMH he let very few transition. All I get from Blanchard is that if i had tried to transition back when he was around it would have been extremely hard and yes i'm that old. Also do not get HsTs this does not explain me either. Loved the video
Autogynephilia should never be used to deter someone from transitioning if that's what's best for them. It's just a fact. I personally find it useful for describing my experience. It made sense for why I wasn't extremely feminine as a kid. It made sense for why I didn't feel dysphoria until I was 13. It made sense why I was never ever interested in dating anyone (men or women). And it made sense for why I had this weird simultaneous attraction and repulsion to crossdressing. EVERYTHING made sense. Lawrence's book Men Trapped in Men's Bodies just illuminated so much for me and took so much of my shame away. It changed my life to read it. Ultimately, I'm glad I'm transitioning. I'm glad that I've maintained wonderful relationships with my family and old friends through this process. I'm glad I've had support.
Great job being impartial, and even trying to give as much validity, to the concept autogynephilia, Ashley! You made some incredible points around the critical questions to ask oneself about how one views their transition and why they're transitioning. Perhaps there are a good list of questions with counter-questions that could be useful for people thinking about transitioning to ask themselves and explore their real feelings about transition. This could be a useful list to help keep detransitioning, as a risk of plowing forward too fast, down below the 2% (statistically). I am still very early on in my journey (pre-Hrt and pre-surgery), but I have been putting on women's clothes. In fact, as I write this, I have been wearing a wrap bra for 2.5 weeks. When I first put it on (and similarly when I first put on a dress), there wasn't a sexual arousal for me but an anxious and "risky" feeling. Parts of my body acted stimulated but were not in a "sexual mood". I don't think everyone pays that close attention and can sometimes mistaken a similar feeling for being sexually aroused. After purposefully meditating on the feeling as it was happening (almost in an experimental type way), I found that my feelings were of anxiety over an irrational fear of being caught and preprogrammed shame for something that is looked at by society (not my personal feelings consciously) as "wrong". I share that as one part to a two part counter to the Autogynephilia theory. My ex-wife, when i came out to her the second time recently, tried to put me in the closet, again, with a theory that my gender dysphoria and euphoria were products of complex trauma that skewed/dissociated my focus of escaping the trauma to trying to be a girl, in this case, identifying as my baby sister, 10 years my younger (it was an insulting and inaccurate analysis, especially since there is nothing that I would've wanted to emulate or trade with my sister). This was a theory back in the 80's that some therapists and psychologists (that were the forerunners for creating transgender conversion therapy) had. In my opinion, the Autogynephilia theory is, like you said, too reductivist and quick to run to misplaced sexual feelings, ultimately saying: "Transgender = sexual deviance based on mental illness (disassociation)". It's too Freudian and could be another bewilderingly ignorant attempt at cis-het people to dustbin the entire LGBTQ+ equation because they can't relate. Ashley, I could go on about this because it's such a fresh battle that I've fought, but you hit it dead center when you brought in self-love and how "healthy" transitioning is due to wanting to share with the world the man or woman that you are inside and whom you have come to love and accept. Thank you for being so honest and forthright about this subject!
Self love would be loving yourself...AGP is when a man doesn't love his self and instead feels that he can only love his self as a woman. AGP's are attracted mostly to women. Also...I have noticed that AGP's are most often found to be NOT in a committed relationship. They seem unable to carry on a normal relationship with anyone other than their "female" self. We have 2 here in our town who transitioned after having children and both have decided they are not only female but they are now lesbians (Oh for FFS....el classico AGP). One of their daughters got married this Summer and did not invite her Father to the wedding. He (her Dad) told all of us that she/he was hurt by the snub. I think this is another good indication of AGP....does this person not have any concept that his daughter could be hurting. The daughter told us that after the devastation of the divorce, the hormones, the breast implants, the surgical removal of his penis, and the absurdity of calling himself a lesbian....she was not going to be further humiliated in front of her new husbands family and friends by having to have her Dad walk around in a dress with his earings, eyelashes and Double D implants and unaturally strained attempt at a high pitch voice. I have found many AGP's here on youtube that understand what is going on with them and are able to describe what goes on inside their heads. It's fascinating. They know they have a fetish to look like a woman. As a woman, I find it interesting that many transgendered men say something very near to what was said here in this video...that you get turned on by being attractive...and who doesn't want to feel attractive. Women (not all but most) don't get turned on by being attractive, we get turned on by being in the presence of a confident, sexy man, the feel of his pulse, the smell of his pheromones, the touch of his hands...not by anything related to how WE look...we understand how we look attracts the man but we get turned on by the man. So many AGP's mention getting turned on by their own attractiveness as a women which is so funny because its like some sort of inverted masculinity. Got to love life and all it's oddities.
Another helpful video. For years I’ve been confused about being a CD or really being trans because I’d do it behind closed doors and meet men this way usually under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This always felt more comfortable than experiencing a gay m4m encounter. I believe I’m in the worst part of those hard times right now. Thanks!
You're welcome! You should check out my book because it might help you with this, it's free. www.ashleyxadamson.com/trans-kung-fu-awakening-of-self-acceptance
Confessions of an autogyneophiliac (long) - Anne Lawrence, M.D, Ph.D, is actually a friend of mine. One thing about transitioning in 1995 was that it was a pretty small “club.” I know and have knocked around with Anne and most of the other key figures from the seminal days of the “Transgender movement.” When and if it becomes appropriate I might just tell y'all about some of the more noteworthy characters. Anne is definitely one of them. An anesthesiologist by training and experience, she once owned the most comprehensive MtF resource web sites of the day. She went on to obtain her Ph.D. at The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Fransisco. She advised a lot of people on a lot of subjects, including me, Unfortunately, Anne fell from grace for committing some sort of illicit act on one of her anesthesiology patients. Look it up if you're interested in the details. My personal conversations with Anne took place over dinners and doobies spanning a period of several years ending in about 2000. So the paper you refer to, @AshleyxAdamson, was written years later. Which explains the significant differences in her thinking between our last communication and the content of the paper in question. Back then her theory pretty much agreed with Blanchard's seminal definition of autogynephilia (and my own). An autogynephilic MtF transsexual gets auto-erotic stimulation from the idea of becoming a woman. This construct of such an individual an amorous relationship or “in love” with her female persona is quite a shift in point of view. I think, a bogus one at that. My personal feeling, and knowing Anne, is that this theory's existence and her desire to publish it are not rooted in a pursuit of science but are part of her program to regain some stature in the scientific/medical community from which she was excommunicated. (That's one big reason, and maybe the only one, that she got her Ph.D. I don't believe she'd have ever done that had she been able to continue pumping gas in the OR.). Understand, I consider Anne a friend to whom I am indebted and I think she thinks of me as a friend as well. I feel badly about being so open with her past and blunt about my impression of its impact on this article. I couldn' let your piece pass, @AshleyXAdamson without sharing “the rest of the story.” I think it is important to read this in light of the Anne Lawrence saga, especially anyone who might be directly affected by autogynephilic feelings, so they can interpret the paper in the light of knowledge. (Anne, if you read this, please understand the nature of the “audience” here. You will understand and approve of my actions. Or, take it up next time we cross paths.) Now, the reason for Anne's interest in exploring the subject of autogynephilia in-depth with me is, of course, I am an autogynephiliac. I became one of her early '”data points.” My story is so far removed from the posit of Anne's article that it serves to debunk it. So in that interest, I'll relate it briefly here. My autogynephilia is not born in self-love or lust, but in the trajectory of my trans personality. By which I mean the following. My dysphoria has been severe to the point that I have long been unable to become sexually aroused by my female partners, including the mother of my two children. What aroused me was imagining myself as the female member of my love tryst. After all, I've always been female inside, so it makes sense at least to my admittedly twisted logic. Thing is, after a while I no longer required the physical participation of the CIS female part of the equation. My former expedient( of imagining myself being the penetrate-ee rather than the penetrator) for experiencing climax had transferred to become an integral part of my libido. The idea of being aroused by the idea of becoming a woman, living in a female body, experiencing sex as a woman has held such an allure that it is now foundational. There's a punch line. At the age of 70, after settling for an orchiectomy back in the dark ages, strictly for financial reasons, I find that Medicaid now covers treatment for gender dysphoria. So for the past year, I've pursued that like a bloodhound, jumping through hoop after hoop so that I now have an SRS/GRS, etc. surgery date of 6/25/2021. I can't begin to express all that that means to me. Some things that I can express are questions surrounding the uncertain fate of my autogynephilia. In a very real sense, the mental construct that has formed the basis of my core sexuality will be rendered moot. And,t therein lies the punch line of my story: What then? As a postscipt, if that in any way resembles the theory put forth in Anne's paper. I'll eat my proverbial post-op shorts. Shelly
Through the cycles of self reflection and then the pressure of wanting to be female and then to let the pressure out, as I first dressed up it did feel sexually arousing, for about a minute then the calm would descend of expressing who I really am. The more I did it the less the sexual feeling happened and it now only occurs in a fleeting way when I'm trying to look attractive but I think that's more a 'the others might find this attractive on me' if you see what I mean. I feel that trying to pin autogynephilia on trans is because they could not conceive of a man wanting to be a woman and had to come up with something that was basically self delusion. I'm sure it exists in some but not the vast majority of us.
I feel you, Ashley! Isn't it funny ironically, no matter what hoops we dive through to rid ourselves of this residual bit of doubt, triggered like this or that somehow? There is always some residual enough of something to be gnawing at owning that complete sense of self-competence! It can be enough to drive one crazy at times. Makes me wonder at times if there is ever enough that can be done?
I'm 23 and pre everything at this point in time. I have thought about this a bit cos I do get attracted to myself becoming a woman but also other trans women too. Sometimes I even blur the lines a bit between who I am/ wanna become and other trans people because of pornography, were I see myself in the female participants and at the same time them being their own person. Becoming a woman for me in other aspects like clothing, makeup and other stuff doesn't give me sexual satisfaction at all, it just makes me more confident and comfortable in my body. But I do get confused because of this sometimes, like am I really trans or am I just confused? Do I watch that form of content as a form of self love or purely for sexual relief ? Does this happen to anybody or am I just the weird one ? Ps. Hopefully not too tmi.
So, you agree that so-called trans women who are actually autogynephiliac heterosexual men are not really trans people at all, and that it's offensive to real trans women to say so. In that case I would like to see the trans community gatekeeping their spaces and excluding those men. After all, if you don't know what a trans woman really is... who does.
9:20 I was expecting Not to like this video and I absolutely Loved it!! You deconstructed it in a very articulated way, congrats! Sure, eventually everyone wanna be, or at least should, the best version of themselves!! But the word itself "Autogynephilia" only mean "To love oneself as a woman", nothing else, and this valid concept can be interpreted in different ways and as explained, scientists tend to use practical methods of analyses linked to sexuality when obviously most people with AGP don't transition simply because of an Erotic desire since the pain wouldn't be worth the Gain!! But it still seems that with the video you ended up giving credit to Blanchard Studies although those would need to be updated quite a bit and i personally think you're totally right. In my opinion Trans people should be given the chance to know themselves better so they can built upon that and become wiser and more fulfilled human being, at least i think so. Knowledge is power (even if ignorance is bless, lol). So here you provided explanations about the first-hand experiences of an AGP Trans woman that are POSITIVE and that's awesome!! And this is the message that should be spread in the language you used: That most AGPs Trans women are absolutely LEGITIMATE and should be seen as such. They should be loved by others and themselves just as anyone deserves to. Hmm, i guess i can't really make this sound right but you get the point
The word autogynephilia actually does mean more than "to love oneself as a woman". It is in-fact a "man who loves himself as a woman". If a woman loved herself as a woman that is just an autosexual. Trans women can not be autogynephiliacs because they are women. I am an autogynephile.
Blancard's sample size was tiny, even by studies on Transgenderism standards. I do get a thrill out of dressing as I do, even 11 years into Transition. Then, I know many Cis-Women who feel the same way, I do love myself which is a prerequisite to loving anyone else,
I LOVE your discussions. You are diving into the important, but difficult topics. And you're doing it with compassion, grace and insight. For me.... this clarifies a lot of things. I do not get turned on because i'm dressed - or not even dressed, but in female mode, whether that's clothing or mentality or whatever. BUT I do often get turned on when i'm in that mode. And until recently I've been very very ashamed of that. And it's gotten in the way of my relationships and health (mental and physical). And on the reverse, it's like i have to work harder to be fully turned on when i'm in "dude mode". And that just piles on the shame. I'm working on it. And as I'm hopefully entering the "acceptance" phase, things are feeling so much better already.
Regarding my own personal views concerning the term/concept of 'Autogynephilia'; I'm pretty darn sure that what/who I am and what/who I want to become have absolutely NOTHING to do with this list from the DSM5 and in fact am offended by the very idea that I should be included alongside this list and characterized as a 'paraphilia' and a 'disorder'. DSM-5 describes 8 of the more commonly observed paraphilic disorders: Voyeuristic disorder. Exhibitionistic disorder. Frotteuristic disorder. Sexual masochism disorder. Sexual sadism disorder. Pedophilic disorder. Fetishistic disorder. Transvestic disorder. Y'all's thoughts?
Dr Z PHD just discussed this topic and was very interesting as well. I do find the theory so limited in nature. it origin is heterosexuality. Society including those who study the topic have passed that point at least a decade ago in my opinion. I am with you on this. To be authentic and true to yourself is what drives my transition. To be the best version of yourself, inside and outside. However I still struggle with how much male I factually am and sometimes wish I was not born. Accept what is, who you are is a very confrontational journey and along the way dysphoric in nature with all it secondary issues such as depression, anxiety etc... I see it mostly as a spiritual journey, to know who I actually am, not what society want me to be...
It comes down to who a person is. Such as self perspective. Which is where identity and self realization terminology arises from. Such as I think this way. I feel this way. My experience is... In such and such a regard. Self visualisation. Who do we see ourselves as? How do we fit into life? What is comfortable? What is not comfortable? And the sexual gratification is also another part of all of these things. If one is able to free themselves from the constraints placed there by norms of society. This is euphoria compared to disphoria. Comfort compared to discomfort. Sexual awareness compared to sexual repression
You are straight up missing the point. "isn't loving yourself being philic at this point?" you ask; well, no. You clearly did not understood Blanchard's categorization. AGP is being attracted to/aroused by the idea of oneself as a woman. I can want to better myself and become an astronauth, a scholar, an athlete, name it, but this does not entail being sexually aroused by this idea. The fact that you propose this false equivalence is telling. That said, even Blanchard admits that for some AGP transitioning could be the best therapy. The thing is, in today's political environment, and due to the influence of at this point mainstream views on gender, suggesting that there should be a serious study on other possible therapies, like antipsychotic drugs both for homosexual transexuals and AGPs, is anatema. Transitioning is incredibly ineffective to treat gender dysphoria compared to therapies used to cure other mental conditions.
Oh my goodness, this fits me so well Ashley..... I was told it was just a fetish all my life, it is, but it is so much more. It is just how I express my sexuality...... I am so glad someone is finally giving voice to this!!!!!!! so much love
what i want to say, and what i want to say to a lot of commenters here, is that its ok to persue self-love in this way. but at the same time, most of the AGP trans women i see online have a lot of misogyny tangled in there. they feel its humiliating to be a woman, and thats sexually arousing, but at the same time, it allows them to feel like they dont have to live up the expectations that men have to be smart and strong and sucessful. this is sexist because women should also be strong and smart and successful. for example i have seen many AGP trans women let themselves fall into calling themselves dumb, dumb girls, bimbos, etc. and i understand the kind of relief it feels like to relinquish the drive to be smart in order to be cool, but what thats doing is saying that women are stupid. so, while i understand why a lot of AGP trans women want to pursue the life they do, there is a lot of misogyny tangled in there, and the fact that we can't say that trans women are different from women keeps us from commenting on this misogyny.
That's what I like about you 😏 you explore the psychological aspects of transgenderism while I also love Maya for her honesty about the physical aspects of transitioning. I more closely identify with you in that we are much the same. Even though I'm a transgender lesbian and prefer other trans women I'm still not identifying as female for sexual arousal even though I dress up and hump on furniture and stuff to masterbate I'm not always dressing for that purpose. For instance I'm wearing panties and a bra under sweats right now and not remotely aroused but merely comfortable simply being me. All of the psychological analysis aside, the song remains the same. Thanks again for being such a great sister ❤️ and I look forward to your next video. Collin.
As someone who's AMAB, into women and just exploring the fact that I might be trans, I came across this theory as well. I mean I guess for me the biggest problem is it's about sex and sexual desire too much. But for me I kinda feel there's some truth to it when you expand it beyond the sexual desire dimension. Basically, I do feel like maybe I'm just so attracted to the femininity, that I wished I have all that on myself (hence I'm an MtF trans), AND I wanna be with someone, romantically and intimately, who has a lot of femininity herself. Of course even for the trans people who're attracted to people with their desired gender (trans lesbian/gay) I don't think it is something all of us experience. And of course, I think we can still yet figure out 'why someone is trans'. I support those studies but I definitely think there are multiple reasons. However, what I'd like to bring up here is, I feel like I won't be surprised if people have 'false positive' about their transness. i.e. people who're CIS but identified as trans mistakenly. One of those is perceived gender roles. Fortunately I don't think there're that many people who falsely identify as trans just because they don't like their perceived role of their assigned gender, which they might actually identify as. But I think it might actually be for the wrong reason. Yes, there are still stigmas with people who outright refuse traditional gender roles, but I have to say I feel that, at least in America and most Western countries, they're having it a lot easier than people who're actually trans. (And weirdly for many ppl when they see a 'girly boy' and a 'boyish girl' 'gay' and 'lesbian' is the first thing that comes up with their mind which is actually ridiculous.) However I still have to say that cuz first, hopefully no one objects when I say that, I don't feel someone is trans JUST because he/she really hates the perceived gender roles. Or even because he/she only had influence of the opposite gender of their biological sex at birth. (Of course, those things CAN help people who're actually trans navigate their true identity which I'm fully supportive of). Here's a classic of those story I'm worried about: Some time ago I came across an animated story online about the story of a trans girl. (I don't think it's completely true. Might be fabricated but the problem is it's sort of popular). And basically, at least the way she told the story, she claimed that although AMAB, she always 'grew up as a girl' as she had only female siblings, but a lot of them, and her dad passed away when she was young. She mentioned a couple of times that she had no 'male role model' growing up, and she more or less lived a 'girly' life. She found herself with more things in common with girls, instead of boys as a teenager. So she eventually came out as trans (amid a lot of struggles) but now with a guy who's accepting of all that from her. I mean I guess this is how a lot of people 'perceive' how trans people are, so as I said it might be fake after all. But the thing is it's popular and I'm afraid that certain ppl are developing misconceptions about being trans. Like, I don't believe in a second that being surrounded by a disproportional number of people from one gender instead of the other growing up will even influence a kid's gender identity, or even sexuality. This is deep down in ourselves and I don't think it can be forced either way, by things like who you grow up with. Also I don't think gender roles necessarily indicates being trans or not. Yes, I do hear that a lot of trans people struggle with gender dysphoria especially when they were forced upon certain gender roles (of their assigned sex at birth). But my own experience is that gender roles sort of prevented me from discovering my true gender identity almost. I'm in a sort of quantitative finance field, which is traditionally thought as a masculine field, and our field is still disproportionally men. I'm also ambitious and have a desire to be a leader, which traditionally is played by men. In most of the novels, series, movies, etc. such figures are almost predominantly male (who get to get the best of the women of course) so that's why I never thought I was a woman when enjoying those literatures. Only then I realized, if you just change those male characters but keep EVERYTHING else, including the part with romance and intimacy with other women (instead of men which a lot of now 'strong female' literature portrays which make sense as the vast majority of cis females are straight), I feel extra connected... My point here is, that's why I support scientifically looking into why people are trans I guess, because especially with the current state of technology such as HRT & SRS, I feel that it would also be a bad thing if cis people incorrectly identified as trans (or even non-binary ones), and ultimately their stories would be used in the favor of actual transphobes. In fact, a prominent trans UA-camr just showed that one of the most popular arguments given by transphobes are, 'Didn't y'all say that gender is a social construct? (Which I sort of agree hence I object gender roles). Then what 'gender' are you 'trans'-ing?' Something like that...
So if I am MTF am I trying to love the woman I feel I am, as a male? Doesn't make sense but maybe I want to love myself more and I have discovered I am female. I am trying to love who I am, that is more likely, because society says I should hate myself and I have to counter that. What I feel I feel. I feel Feminine. I want to love myself for however I feel. Let me put it this way. Transphobes will say you are "choosing" to be trans but I say I have no control over how I feel, it is who I am. It seems autogynephelia implies some level of choice even if that choice is subconscious. I take issue with that and believe my trans identity is more innate. It is part of me whether I want it or not. I have thought about this before because I explored that notion when I was trying to figure out what was going on with myself. Thanks for handling this topic.
Seriously the most dissapointing idea that folks take and run with instead of just talking to us. I have been this way since I was 2. I'm outwardly becoming myself and dropping social masks and nothing less. I'm deciding I can't just give up, If I do it will manifest as a suicide and an illness through other means. I've thought of every angle and still have always felt the same way. The example of applying the same concept to gay men is a really good point.
I’m not trans, but i think most of us want to become attractive to our own standards. When i work out and see progress and results, i think “im getting hotter”. So in a way i think anyone who has self impovement motives has symptoms of what autogynephelia. But i find that people are using it against trans to discredit them and their journey.
You are right. This has to do with self-love to the exclusion of everyone and anything else. It has nothing to do with being intelligent, caring or responsible. It's just about ME. Although a human being has dozens of aspects to them, this is a focus on the gender (or not) of the individual.
This was a great video and I'm glad you'll do some more on the topic. I noticed how insistent some people were about pushing the autogynophile narrative in the comments of the other video. It's sort of unnerving to have such a complex life change like transition boiled down to a fetish, more or less, then to have that idea forced upon you. Some people feel like they need some sort of psychological basis to explain trans people (usually cis people) and autogynophilia has a logic to it. My problem is it comes from some really bad methodology, with bad intentions, and strikes me as the ideas of a person who doesn't understand psychology near as much as they think they do. The paper you describe talks about a more holistic self-love, which rings a lot truer to me. However, using Blanchard's work as a philosophical starting point sort of bothers me a little. It feels a touch like apologia, despite having a pretty insightful conclusion, but that could just be my instinctual response to the idea of autogynophilia. I also wanted to say that I'm really happy with your format overall - sticking to the internal philosophical work instead of doing makeup tips or diving into more political hot topics. While those things aren't bad, we just have so many voices for that already. You're doing something special. Thank you! -Jill
Jill! That’s your name!!! i’ve been wondering what it was. Thanks for calling out how I don’t do all the trendy trans stuff. I do feel like a lot of people cover that and honestly it doesn’t interest me that much. But I may branch out every now and then just to get my take on the situation because I have a different perspective and maybe people in that sphere need to hear that. And yeah a lot of people in that sexuality video did focus on this topic which I thought was kind of weird. The paper I links was actually a really great read and I’m glad you read it. It’s written by a trans women which I think is cool. But they can’t come to the conclusion in the end of this video I said that if it’s all about looking at it through the lens of self love then isn’t that just how we wanna be as humans? we want to feel special, we want to feel desirable, we want to love ourselves! we wanna be lovable!
Obviously not all trans are autogynophiles -but autogynophila is extremely real and it happens in STRAIGHT men who just have an extreme kink. They are not truly trans.
Important consideration of autogynaphilia: it makes no real sense and even if it was true it makes no clinical predictions that differ from mainstream concepts of trans women being women and that they find wearing sexy clothes sexy because women often enjoy wearing sexy clothes. In all cases we benefit from transition and do no harm to ourselves or others. Also a sexual orientation that is not excluding other sexual orientation is not really something that makes sense. It's not useful trying to diagnose trans women as sexual orientation. Treating us as our gender solves our gender issues regardless of what gets us off sexually. If we wanted to get off sexually then why transition? We typically loss a lot of libido and you know become subject of transphobia. Either we're incredibly stupid or we're not transitioning to satisfy sexual kicks. Also I think worth remembering that Blanchard himself judges trans women on our sexual attractiveness to him. Part of the idea of why it's a diagnosis is that some trans women are not pretty as women and so since they look like they do they are invalidated as deluded. But they cannot and should not be judged for their appearance that was never really in their control. There is a lot going on with the topic here, for example being a woman but in a male body and in a society that treats women as lesser for anything other than their beauty...it has some interesting effects but that is not the fault of the women effected. Argh I'll stop ranting. I really don't think this is worth your time Ashley. Although feel free of course. I feel like for me I am done discussing what old cis straight men think about us and our sex lives and rather discuss trans woman focused exploration like you offer so brilliantly ♥️
Violette I love that you wrote this! I think the points that you may have missed or maybe you did see them in this video is that I focused on the discussion that was raised by the trans woman who wrote anote argument for AGP By refocusing the discussion on self-love rather than sexual desire. Which we go on to deconstruct and I basically come to the conclusion that isn’t it just human to love yourself?
@AshleyxAdamson Yeah sorry for not mentioning that, you were referring to Anne Lawrence's Becoming What We Love I think? I read that back in 2018 when I was first coming to terms with being trans myself. I did originally find it comforting myself. I had found little explanation for why I was trans and at that stage I desperately wanted an answer. Was I valid or confused? I feverishly read what I could find. I guess what I meant is that she's trying to improve Blanchard rather than starting from her own experience. For me that's a bit like hearing the spaghetti monster in space religion and trying to improve it through theology. It's a waste if time. The original idea is mixed up or enforcing a sexual orientation (romantic too) into the definition of what type of trans woman we are. This idea is a bad one. We don't type anyone else this way. Cis women that like lingerie in this bucket and those that don't in this one! It's prosperous. It comes from an assumption of dysfunction and then tried to explain but we're not dysfunctional, we're just unusual. Not the same thing. Blanchard was noticing real patterns and tendencies (for example the common experience of arousal when early "crossdressing") but his analysis is not a clear lens to view those realities through. There has been studies showing that in cultures where feminine expression is less stigmatised, especially in boys, but girls too, trans girls do not experience arousal nor interest in conception of forced feminisation etc. Showing these tendencies are likely very linked to shame learnt from society. Not ingrained in the sexual orientation of the individual. Again consider the obvious reasons a woman in a male body would sexually develop mentally differently than a cis woman. Our bodies are literally at first a joke and then a sex object after hormones. Beyond that having t in your system does change your sexuality. So we could just be seeing the figment of what a woman with male hormones is often like. I mean think about it, it comes to make some sense. Also it accounts for my experience of coming to have more female pattern sexuality as I transition hormonally. Like less need to have sex generally, less upset if I come close but miss out and able to extend orgasm much longer and feel it wider in my body for example. I also have had my sexual fantasies shift too. Not completely but certainly different. Also love of oneself as a woman is redundant conceptually if we accept we are women... because then it is simply self love which is not a special concept. If this is better suited to crossdressers that do not want to transition I still think those men should express themselves not Blanchard. I mean they won't though as shame for that identity is still way too high. Finally an important concept, "AGP male" is used to commonly dismiss trans women whoever is writing dislikes so caution is needed with the topic. Blanchard literally tweeted saying "For some male-to-female trans activists, claims of having been "slut-shamed" may be viewed as aspirational." and this was specifically in relation to noted trans academic Julia Serano this is famous for, checks notes, refuting Blanchard's typology. So he's using his research of us to dismiss a leading mind inside the trans community! Not her arguments but her identity. His research that makes no sense. This only works because of stigma towards trans women... stigma he is promoting. Omg sorry rant mode deactivated ♥️
@@AshleyxAdamson just to add I think I'm just trying to express the feeling that we as a community can address AGP but that we must take care when doing so. I realize you are not expounding the virtues of AGP but I really don't want girls coming on your channel and getting further confused about their identity by not cleanly contextualising AGP. I do think contrapoints walked that line in her video. ♥️
@@VioletteLundsten As an egg with its first few cracks showing, your insights are a very helpful, very reassuring presence. So, sincerely, thank you for offering them.
Blanchard's original attitude is heteronormative but I'm queer AF and I accept that. Right up to the point of coming out I would have intensely dark episodes of self-transphobia. But, these are just the echoes of masculine conditioning come to haunt me. My central drive in transitioning is to escape the torment of Gender Dysphoria. My exemplars are cis women sex educators who seek to empower us by loving ourselves as we are. Years of female hormones plus surgery have largely transformed my brain to female. My hopes are that trans and intersex children of the future escape the prescriptive models of the past that nearly drove me to suicide.
Ashley:"Blanchard en su teoría es muy reduccionista .." Ashley también "transicionar/ser trans es quererse a uno mismo," o sea.. ser autosexual...? o sea ser autoginefilico, ¿¿¿¿no... ?¿?¿ XDXXDXD
I've heard even cis-gender straight women can find the image of themselves sexually exciting. They'll put on a sexy dress and look in the mirror and feel turned on by themselves. I don't think it is super common, but it does happen. I think every trans person experiences their trans-ness a little differently. Some are never turned on by their own image as a woman and some are. I think the ones who are probably feel that way in part because they don't have the body of a woman, but they do have sexual thoughts like someone with the body of a woman, but no way to act on it. So of course they would eroticize something they can't have and fantasize about it. It's the only way they can make it real.
Every comment, including original video: "i think this is reductive and not the reason why i transitioned". Followed by a description of autogynephic feelings that made them realise there're trans.
I think that you are misrepresenting what Blanchard was on about. He set out to explain SOME transsexuals that he interviewed over 15 years ( not just a study). The term AGP is not in it's self an offensive one but rather it is the way it has been weaponized to attack Trans people. Blanchard says explicitly in an interview , that he did not mean it to be synonymous with NOT genuine. It was meant to replace the term "fetishistic transvestite" and to take the emphasis off clothing per se. People forget that Blanchard's 15 years at a gender clinic helped many Trans folk to be able to receive reassignment surgery.
There is also just dressing with some opposite gender clothes knowing where my boundaries are while I am doing it. I would take pictures and get very little stimulation from seeing me in a dress or tights or shorts that may or may not pass as long shorts for guys. Pictures are taken at Goodwill or other Thrift stores. It is a rush that I do not thrive on much, but when I feel like it I put on something that could pass as just a long shirt. I never use make-up or wear women's undies that is not what I am into at all. I just like fashion and risk taking. Looking at the pictures later on my phone has some stimulation. I am thinking that "you are getting away with something" more than you look good. It is rebellious for me but also just seeing what new fashion I can come up with and wear that is all my creation.
I agree I don't think self love is at all exclusive to trans folks, even if it helps drive us sometimes. I do feel like self love was a main reason that I was able to transition, and finding that self love was especially difficult for me, because I'd lived with a body I wasn't happy with for so long. imo transitioning is sort of a form of radical self care, and realizing we're worth that effort despite all the difficulties. But I don't think that's too different from a healthy reason why a cis person might want to get fit - loving yourself enough to take care of yourself in some way.
Would it be wrong to say that there are some people who experience AGP as a sexual orientation that looks like it overlaps with the trans experience? That’s what it seems like to me.
if you look at the studies done based on age and reason for transitioning it seems HSTS & AGP is true. the real question is, does it make one more valid than the other? i don't think so personally. i don't think there's anything wrong with being AGP. i'm AGP myself! i don't care. if transitioning makes you happy then transition. don't let anyone stop you. it's hard not to believe the HSTS/AGP dynamic when you look at the demographics of transgenders and look at the age-groups, and the reasons for transitioning, sexuality, interests of those two different average age-groups. a clear pattern emerges: AGPs transition in their 30s+ (average age being 45), have often cross-dressed for EROTIC/masturbatory purposes (as opposed to HSTS's crossdressing for dysphoria relief purposes), experience gender euphoria when doing so etc. AGP's strangely all seem to be exclusively "transbians", too, attracted to women. these people have often been married, had kids, have large social circles, held down jobs. socialized as male, femininity doesn't come naturally they have to 'train' to it. they will often begin transitioning after something has gone wrong in their life. mid-life crisis, marriage breakdown, change of jobs, whatever. something triggered the transition, they want to escape into their AGP euphoria. HSTS always transition early, between 12-28 (average age 20), suffer gender dysphoria, but not euphoria (instead they just feel 'right'). HSTS's are exclusively attracted to men and have been from an early age, and are naturally feminine. often socialized as girls, small circle of friends, best friend is usually a girl. transition purely for medical (dysphoria) reasons. (the HS in HSTS refers specifically to natal sex and is not an insult to the person's gender identity, it's just an archaic term used in medical literature that needs updating, and not to cause deliberate offense js) think blaire white (HSTS) vs contrapoints (AGP)
References: Two clinically discrete syndromes of transsexualism. Buhrich N, McConaghy N. British Journal of Psychiatry. 1978 Jul;133:73-6. Abstract online Two types of cross-gender identity. Freund K, Steiner BW, Chan S. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 1982 Feb;11(1):49-63. Abstract online Typology of male-to-female transsexualism. Blanchard, Ray. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Vol 14(3) Jun 1985, 247-261. Abstract online Heterosexual and homosexual gender dysphoria. Blanchard, Ray; Clemmensen, Leonard H; Steiner, Betty W. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Vol 16(2) Apr 1987, 139-152. Abstract online Nonhomosexual gender dysphoria. Blanchard, Ray. Journal of Sex Research. Vol 24 1988, 188-193. Abstract online The concept of autogynephilia and the typology of male gender dysphoria. Blanchard, Ray. Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease. Vol 177(10) Oct 1989, 616-623. Abstract online Nonmonotonic relation of autogynephilia and heterosexual attraction. Blanchard R. J Abnorm Psychol. 1992 May;101(2):271-6. Abstract online Varieties of autogynephilia and their relationship to gender dysphoria. Blanchard R. Arch Sex Behav. 1993 Jun;22(3):241-51. Abstract online C. D. Doorn, J. Poortinga and A. M. Verschoor, “Cross-gender identity in transvestites and male transsexuals” www.springerlink.com/content/u63p723776v57m11/ Transsexual subtypes : Clinical and theoretical significance Smith Yolanda L. S.; Van Goozen Stephanie H. M.; Kuiper A. J.; Cohen-Kettenis Peggy T.; Psychiatry research (Psychiatry res.) 2005, vol. 137, no3, pp. 151-160 Abstract online Anne A. Lawrence, “Sexuality Before and After Male-to-Female Sex Reassignment Surgery” 2005 link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-005-1793-y A Further Assessment of Blanchard’s Typology of Homosexual versus Non-Homosexual or Autogynephilic Gender Dysphoria, Nuttbrock, et al. Archives of Sexual Behavior www.springerlink.com/content/b48tkl425217331j/
It’s interesting because I don’t really see myself in either of those camps I could just pick and choose from both of those camps. Which is why I just kind of don't buy it. I mean I dig into this in the video a lot more but just to look at your breakdown which I think is really helpful I’m in both camps. I am a bisexual trans woman who identified as non-binary at 28 it felt right and then I transition for the female and then changed my sexuality to prefer men. do you feminine is something that has always been natural for me but something that I’ve also steered away from because of my own inner transphobia.
@@AshleyxAdamson i think they're just generalized profiles taken from averages, i don't really fit into either. i think the literature is a little archaic and outdated. but i don't think they're inherently untrue either because there are patterns when you take trans people and break the demographics down by age and reason for transitioning, which i do find interesting i think a better [updated] way to think of it would be gender dysphoria vs gender euphoria rather than HSTS vs AGP. there are people who don't suffer dysphoria but are extremely unhappy, depressed, don't like who they are without necessarily having a gender crisis. but find that they're happier and their depression is relieved when crossdressing or transitioning, and feel euphoria. i think more modern & unbiased studies should be done and i think gender euphoria should be given the same respect and validity for being trans as dysphoria. personally.
I am neither HSTS, nor AGP myself. The way I understand it currently is that the "sexual side" of my transidentity is the only one where I can push the boundaries of my comfort zone without the burden of shame and internalized trans and homophobia This is how I was able to try experimenting with make up. This is how I feel comfortable about my attraction to men.
Hi Ashley, I watched this video earlier but didn't comment. I was brought back here when you linked it to a comment on a recent video when the commenter mentioned Blanchard. Wow, again, a lot to unpack. One thing that struck me right away is, yes, we all want to be desirable, but if I were to pursue that alone I would not have gone through electrolysis or HRT to stay desirable to my spouse who I love and feel very connected with, or desirable to other women for that matter. So where does that leave me? I do feel I am still trying to be the best me that I can be. I am still trying to be the happiest and truest me I can be. It's a struggle. I have to wonder how much of my 'need' to have FFS and/or GCS is to more easily fit in to what others in society would deem more acceptable. I honestly don't know if I would go through with either surgery if it was only up to me. I do think Blanchard has it wrong. I find it discouraging Blanchard is defining us in what he deems as the most important driving force to him and other male psychologist, sexual arousal. I have to think all this would be a non issue if society wasn't so restrictive in it's binary view of gender. If we all could just be and present as who we feel we are without judgement and persecution from others. Heaven on earth. Hugs! Christie
I went through a similar experience, but I talked to many cis girls and 100% of them said that when they dress up they feel sexy and somewhat aroused especially at the early stages of puberty. I think that it us completely normal for anyone to feel sexy in certain clothes and have that feeling of arousal. It’s all new when you are first cross dressing or deciding to transition but after transition those feelings went away but still felt good about myself. Now, fast forward five years later I’m struggling with detransition and my shortcomings of was i ever really trans or did I just like the image of myself being a woman for the time being. I’m in the process of looking for a gender therapist cuz all this isn’t an easy pill to swallow (hrt joke) hopefully I come to a positive conclusion but anyways I appreciate your videos on topics that are really talked about often
I realized about a year ago that I am a transgender female, and shortly after that, I came across this concept - I think the term used was autoeroticism. Being attracted to women (my wife and I have been married for 36 years), this idea caused me to briefly question my motives for transitioning. Could it be that I was really fantasizing about being sexually attracted to myself? I had never tried cross-dressing, although I recall as teen I sometimes would wonder what it would be like to try on my sister's cloths. After realizing I was transgender, I bought some woman's cloths online, including a full-length dress. When I tried it on the first time, I did experience a moment of arousal. It lasted about 10 seconds and then disappeared, and it has not happened since. I believe the reaction was because of a feeling I had of doing something strange and 'forbidden' for the first time. I would have to say that for myself, the idea that I am pursuing an autoerotic fantasy is not correct. The reason I am transitioning is to bring my body and hormones in sync with the internal model of myself that I have carried most of my life. I am also hoping to no longer be perceived as male by society. The autoeroticism hypothesis does not factor in. From what I gather, that is the case for the vast majority of transgender people. I have never heard the terms autogynephilia or autoerotic fetishism applied to gay or lesbian people, and I imagine most would object and be offended if they were. I suspect that in the case of transgender people, who may appear to be even more 'outside the norm', some psychologists feel the need to over-analyze and come up with new hypothesize for a phenomena that eludes them. The phrase "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" comes to mind.
It's perfectly okay to be autoerotic. There's so much unnecessary and suffocating shame surrounding sex. You didn't choose your attractions. You chose to transition, and it seems to have been to right one.
Until very recently, I was sure that I was turned on by the idea of being female. I'm not so sure now. I think it's actually that being male turned me off.
I would say I'm definitely in both camps, I would say I certainly feel satisfaction from getting into feminine clothing because that's 1 way I internally valid being closer to my true self, that being said I knew that I was trans before I became sexually aware, I was upset as a child because I didn't get to wear dresses like the other girls but I didn't get sexual gratification from that
There's a HUGE difference between being in love with your own body sexually and wanting the best for yourself. If you pay close attention to what Dr Blanchard says, you'll see he says there are TWO types of trans women: autogynophilics and HSTS- homosexual transexual. He explains very well the difference, and how it's plain to see the differentiation
Well transition was for me a vehicle how to meet my traumatized self from a past life, how to find love for myself as a woman was a way how to find love for her, because in that past life I hated and cursed my feminity, and wanted to escape it somehow, which had an impact on this lifetime being born male and female at the same time, and experiencing gender dysphoria. By transition I am letting go of this karmic curse. It's kind of poetic, cause being a woman born with a large portion of male anatomy and biology makes it harder to find love for myself as a woman after transition, and yet I am willing to do it. It's all about alignment between the soul and body at the end.
What many are ignoring is that transgender women and AGPs are not the same thing. They're two different types of people. Some people experience dysphoria and are trans. Some men love to cross dress and are AGP. Sadly, they've been lumped together. They're not the same.
ContraPoints did a video about autogynephilia a while back. She and I both noticed the fatal flaw in that hypothesis: It doesn't explain the existence of trans men. I'm 34 and will turn 35 in July, and I've been on titty skittles for 7 going on 8 months. I spent my prior life putting on a guy front when it wasn't the real me. I've always known on some level that I was a misidentified woman. There's no going back to that male hell for me.
I don't want to be a woman I'm bi man but I get aroused by cross dressing I want to stop it Do you know how to stop this? I can't sexually intercourse with people due to this issue
It's more 'Gender Euphoria' than dysphoria. One reason AGPs transition later - in their 50s for example, is because they don't have gender dysphoria. Either they don't mind being men, or they actually like it. When the male Gender Euphoria drops too low and it becomes more pleasurable to be a woman, they transition (imo). That's also why older AGP men can be treated with hormones and the desire to transition diminishes or disappears
I think a lot of older folks transition is more related to societal indoctrination rather than the fact that they're older or happy as a man. Yes you can be happy as a man (i was) but let's not ignore the fact that until the past 5 years it has never been socially acceptable to be trans anywhere.
This thing is real, i see a beautiful Asian girl smiling at me, i don't see myself, that's not a bad thing, and it's an opportunity to...The thing is we have male psyches so seeing a female in the mirror is like staring at another women.
You do Lawrence a justice she does not deserve. You talk about "self love" and other ways of interpreting her work, but go and have a look at it. She misgenders trans women throughout it, and never once refers to herself or any other trans women as women. Hell, she doesn't ever refer to herself as a trans woman. She refers to herself as a "Transsexual" and she refers to wanting "be a woman" but at no point does she acknowledge trans women as women, so it's hard to interpret that as "self love" Like this quote? "Recent prevalence estimates from Western countries are nearly an order of magnitude higher, with about 1 in 12,000 men having undergone sex reassignment surgery, and about 1 in 7,400 having sought treatment for transsexualism". She literally calls trans women men... You also have the basic foundation of this whole awful movement wrong. Blanchards theory is that AGP is specifically an aspect of trans women who are attracted to women. Blanchard's theory calls trans women purely attracted to men "Homosexual Transexuals" (itself a term that inherently misgenders trans women) and they are the second part of his typology, the "opposite" of AGP. The last sentence of the paper is this "Thinking about nonhomosexual or autogynephilic MtF transsexuals as men who “love women and want to become what they love” offers a more accurate and more richly informative model for clinicians." "Think of them as men..." You, as a trans woman are doing yourself and your audience an injustice when you put forward a framework that inherently tells us we're not women, and paint it as a framework of self love. The only way to spin Lawrence's writings as being about self love is if you accept it as "the love of oneself as a man who wants to be a woman", which is a "self love" built on repression, denial and internalised transphobia...
Wow, you go deep Ashley! Another excellent dissection of a topic which is so confusing to many. I have been aware of Blanchard's proposition for sone time now and have never held any regard for his psyco-sexual hypothesis. As for myself, my gender dysphoria and subsequent understanding of myself is a much simpler matter. Either be my true self or allow my coping personality to self destruct the 'both' of us. This may sound dramatic but it is not nearly as dramatic as the reality. You are beautiful through and through sister. I am so grateful for you, my love to you.
Thnx for your great video, made me feel good about myself again after one hour of autogynephilia-recipes from other channels, :-// I wanted to tell my story to maybe help others that might have a similar experience to mine: Since my adolescence I was ashamed about the fact that it turned me on to wear women clothes and imagine I had sex with men. But I couldn't help it. For 20 years I couldn't stop doing it by myself in secret, because the thought of that this ist just a fetish plagued me. Imagining having sex as a woman was so heartwarming and relaxing to me though. On some point I decided, that I will come out with it and start dating with people that might accept my "crossdressing". So I did and it was AMAZING that there were people out there, that also thought I'm hot in the way I like to be presented. Automatically "it" stopped being this closeted, "I'm-ashamed-of" thing and became just part of my daily life. It also stopped being just an "only-sexual" thing and turned into a daily life identity. My point is: when cis people like to present their bodies in a sexual, gender affirming way, it's welcome from everybody EXCEPT religious or conservative groups. Sexuality altogether is considered something to be ashamed of from many, but it's such a huge part of life. My own sexuality didn't match with my body, so I transitioned. I didn't use to feel like a girl or a boy, I just felt shitty about my body, even though I got a lot of compliments about it, that I never understood. Just didn't like me to look like a man, hang me. Now after Transition I like me much better. Am I a man, a woman? I definately like female pronouns and be perceived as female. I am many things. Man, woman is just a part of them. P.S.: Trying to prove that I deserve to be a (trans) woman is very tiring, time consuming and at the end plays into the hands of those who doesn't want us to exist anyway. Just am and do what I want safely and open. As long as I don't harm others, there is nothing wrong with it. I am valid. Maybe a bit more narcissistic than before, but in a heathy way my psychologist tells me. 😙
I had a therapist tell me our sexuality is how we express ourselves. I was in denial and would argue with her at the time and tell her I wasn't trans. Also repressed feelings can show up through sexuality. Even Cis-women can feel "cute" or "sexy" in a particular outfit is that to be considered autogynephilia?
It's a complex topic, so I try to approach it easy. I love myself to look and behave more with a feminine touch, even 100% feminine but with natural look. However, at home I love to apply make up, wear skirts (so convenient!), sometimes stockings (I love legs, including mine!) and as I hate hair (lot of men actually do!) I regularly epilate (and I am thinking of laser treatment). I don't know if this is a Hollywood's vision of ideal female, a cultural thing or also something programmed in our brains, but for some reason, people of different gender are following some patterns for ages. I just always loved my mother's painted nails and the elegance (verbal and non verbal). So I am doing it at home. And my wife helps me with that. Yes, I am still into women, as always 90% of me, where the rest 10% I could probably reserve for a really close male friend. I sort of had one platonic relationship like that. And this is a balance that never changed. I love myself as a female, and only sometimes I feel good as a man. I never accepted myself as a man but something else I wanted to be in-between. Also, I never wanted to follow what I was expected to do as a man. So, I started to work on that but I regret I didn't follow my dreams when I was younger. Because I love myself more by accepting who I am and I try to express it even if I am fully in my male body public representation: I wear cool earrings, most of the time I have painted nails, and I am working on more and more cross-bending-look. More colourful clothes, not that dull men's wear BS. Why we forgot that men also were putting glamour stuff? Anyway, I started to accept myself more as a human being in the public space this way. About my behaviour, 50% of men never understood my politeness or my feminism-sort-of (or at least anti-chauvinistic) point of view, so I think some feminine part of me took over already. My father never gave a sh*t about my masculinity and what should I do but until this very day his expectations were never met :D. Sorry, dad! Or, no sorry, it's just the way it is. No regrets from my side. Still, I would love to walk in high heels from time to time, put a skirt and make up. It's an objectification for sure, but it just feels good to be a vamp! A strong, determined and intelligent woman I feel I am. I am not a woman technically and I never wanted to transition, but I would love to have this freedom to express myself more without being judged as a pervert. I often fantasise (aka daydream) about anything really, anywhere, so it doesn't mean anything more than that for me, with the other exception that this one is more kink. We need more kinky people to make this world colourful. Do I have autogynephilia? Am I a narcist? A cross-dresser? Transvestite? Well, I guess a little bit of everything. Everyone's different, so it's interesting how quickly people tend to do this low effort brain exercise to categorise people just with a single word?
Another interesting person found to add to my watch list. I suppose I see a lot of my own personality traits mirrored :). Can we not just say that there is a lot of deeply contemplating and contradictions of being a Trans Woman. It is like a tangled spiderweb tied to a fusing star while expecting it to burst alight but does not, all the while more threads condenses and expands the network. (Ahh the hard work of trying to articulate my words. )
But Ashley... Do you recognize you were born a man? Because you said early on in the video you didn't cross dress. Then later that you did. Thanks for your honesty. Autogynephilia is not in of itself bad. It's a thing. Nothing is regular or normal. Everything but abuse can be positive or cool .
As for the haters, I feel sorry for them like it must be a shallow existence not being able to have compassion for a fellow human being that isn't affecting anyone but themselves & for the haters not to understand the deep self reflection us trans people have to go through & the courage it takes to go through with your transition knowing that people would literally wish you dead for just being yourself, like seriously who would choose the negativity trans people get, it's not a choice it's a deep internal conflict that has to be resolved deep within the extent to which each person goes is what makes each transition unique & being trans has been known to lead to, too many suicides, I'm pretty sure if it was like a social club which it definitely isn't but if it was there would be 0 voluntary members, who Oh to only have to worry about what you are having for dinner tonight, between my gender identity & the cruel & brutal card my little guy was dealt being autistic, non verbal & epileptic I wish all I had to worry about is what's for dinner, Anyway that's my rant on the haters. The positives I have in my life is my son, & his beautiful personality regardless of his struggles, my IT repair business which keeps me sane, my loving partner Jess, my business partner Murray who has been very accepting & my very good friend J who has walked the trans path before I, everyone else is just noise.
When we dress up I feel like we are cross dressing and always felt that way , but it is for the fashion and clothes its not the body or female its just the clothes are very beautiful like a ancient cultures where men dress very beautiful. If this was true then how come when people do transition they become straight ;/ girls look at fashion models and beauty icons and get surgery to look like who they admire? I love the female body but that doesn't mean I feel female I of course have a look I would like to have but the closer I am to that physical look the less I would be sexually attracted to it. If I was really sexually attracted to it at all or just felt I could relate to more and therefore bond more or feel more safe as I am closer to what I feel is the true me. I just see this term is more from someone who doesn't understand or looking for other excuses to see that being trans is a thing on its own and not related to all these other factors they want to stick it to. I was all about Trans pride and such but with how dangerous this has become. because people who want to persecute or harm trans people makes it just very scary, and to wait awhile until this war ends or at least calms down is more ideal. I feel like being label as Trans or something is personal and unless someone wants to explain that to another person privately should not even be a thing to others. Also many people are bisexual and can easily go both ways or fall in love based on emotionally bonding or common things or even just hey we click or I like your cheek bones and then get talking more and fall in love. I feel like its just another excuse to pin trans as some type of pervert thing when its just gender and that is personal and between God and the person. I pray everyday this war and hate on Trans people ends I pray for the day that trans female and men will just be men and wemons without this label attached to them. I feel like when people lable it is alot what Hitler did to the jews and creates them being looked at as less than a true gender they have went through so much pain grief and other things to become. I pray that the hate and divison ends and even it would not have to be in the gay flag because I do not see why it is even in the gay flag or lgbtq but for the reason that many were looked at as gay before transitioning or still bi . Although the attacks on the trans people is as bad as on the gay people.
People who have autogynophilia are not trans women. It is important to know which is which what applies to you and respond accordingly Autogynophilia seems to be a very sad and unfulfilling form of narcissism
I get it it's like Chakras it all has angels degrees love can turn to lust and hate 🤔 anything and everything is a paradox self love can be self obsession all about ones self desire bright light can be blinding but yes people try being better to where they lie to them selfs
I dont see why seeing yourself as a woman in a sexual way would be anything other than a way to alleviate a dysphoric life. In my experience as first a sissy and now a trans pre everything woman sex was how i figured out i preferred being female. That turned from i prefer sex as a female to i also prefer life as a female. Not sure if that makes sense.
Spoiler for those that want to come to the conclusion that I get to. Which is isn't any act of self-love wanting to make yourself a better person? Transitioning because you love yourself and wanting to be the best version of yourself possible is no different than other other CIS person's experience. What it ultimately comes down to is the human experience. We just want to embrace who we are and be the best that we can possibly achieve. Why not be attractive if you want to be? Why not be a woman? That and more in this video. Just wanted to clarify as some people got caught up on the Autogynephilia rhetoric of the original authors. 🤗💌
Can you decustruct men who have trans attraction.?
I am one but only if the woman is post op..
It may sound uneducated .but it's my truth.
It's not so much a fetish from my POV.
But an attraction to their feminine nature on their part and a invitation and permission to be masculine on my part.. I am attracted to cis gender women too and not intimidated by strong women or Smart women. But do enjoy my role of being a stoic and steady support for the women I date.
I watch videos like yours to understand what is the reasoning behind my attraction.
And what it is that trans women go threw .
And how I can be supportive.
Also please excuse my gramer, I am extremely dyslexic and typing on a phone....
"Why not be a woman?" You can't be a woman because you're male and it is extremely offensive to talk about womanhood as if it is a costume you can put on. You are free to express yourself as you choose but please don't claim to be what you are not.
@@Skuffy777 bro wtf are you talking about 😐being trans isn’t about just dressing up as female my guy..trans people don’t see y’all like that and idk why y’all think we do
@@Skuffy777 we are a woman so get over it, womanhood is different for everyone and how everyone gets to it is different same goes for man hood so get tf out your feelings
I wouldn't say that autogynephilia doesn't exist, I have seen some people who feel it describes their situation, but I take issue with the idea that it is one of only 2 drivers of MTF transition according to Blanchard. There are many reasons people identify as trans and to reduce it to 2 possibilities is ignorant. Particularly when both are framed in the context of sexual attraction/arousal.
That said, the entire idea caused me a lot of confusion and stress early on as I tried to distinguish the difference for myself, especially considering that most definitions I found do center around the sexual aspect and basically call it out as a deviancy or perversion. Wrestling with the idea was extremely difficult but I am glad I worked through it early. I can only imagine the anxiety someone might have if they tried to tackle the idea a year into HRT or as a surgery or something was coming up.
You raise good points perhaps it does explain for some people. But I don’t believe it. I think it’s an oversimplification or in over a complication.
@@AshleyxAdamson absolutely, any time something complex is reduced to 1 or 2 things it immediately raises red flags.
I feel that repression and shame are big contributors as well, I spent my adolescence trying to project a masculine image and refusing to acknowledge that I was trans, I think usually when your hiding such a big part of yourself its bound to get a little messy when you finally face it.
Yes! I view the sexuality aspect of one’s desire to transition and the arousal that comes with it as kind of a way that your sexuality is being an expression of a subconscious or deeper desire of just being a female. It’s that the sexuality aspect of things is much louder and easier signal that can bypass your unconscious mind to send you the message. Which is that you’re a woman. Simple as that!
So true. My friends told me that I was the most masculine man they knew😂
Hi Ashley! I didn't transition from Andrew to Andrea for sexual reasons and I didn't cross-dress before I transitioned. I was non binary for about a year. I transitioned to be the best version of me! And I can't argue with success, Love Andrea
I was number in here for a few years too! I’m glad that you did it for yourself. The complex day that we dig into here is an actually about sexuality but more about this concept of self love being an extension of obsession with an idea of being a female. Interesting thing to think about for sure. Lovely to hear from you as I was Andrea! You are gorgeous by the way!
@@AshleyxAdamson Awwwww ty
@@andrewhagle are you a man or a woman?
@@mano6706 what question is that lol
There is no such thing as a trans person. You are either a male or female.
I figured out I was trans cause from very early in my adolescence I felt attracted to both women and men but I realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t what others went through and not only that but my attraction to women was more to the idea of them. I loved the idea of becoming a woman and when I realized other guys were turned on by the idea of having sex with a women it freaked me out cause that wasn’t how I thought about it at all. I think that the idea of autogynephilia partly what I experienced but it seems to me a very antiquated and backwards way of understanding it. My brain is not projecting my attraction to women onto myself. If I was simply attracted to women I would’ve gotten a girlfriend and proceeded to become the big masculine man my parents wanted and gone happily with my life until I maybe realized I fucked up at the age of 40. Instead I failed every attempt at having the normal cis hetero life in high school and college cause everything felt wrong and I bumped my head against the wall until there was no way of ignoring the fact I want to be a woman. The erotic aspect was a huge part of what made me discover this part of myself but the way the it’s discussed frames it as just a kink
i'm transitioning because i lived my life in fear of myself. i always pushed away the thoughts because of that fear. i'm happy now. 1 yr on hrt. i didn't transition to be a woman, i transition because that fear was fueled by other people who could careless about me. i transition to be me. thanks for the awesome content.
You did it because of you! Well done! You are valid!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
As many below have stated, I spent a large part of my teen years cross dressing in private and told myself it was a kink. From as early as I can remember I was drawn to any sort of trans representation in media and privately playing with my dresses, far before sexuality entered the conversation. I more or less thought it was Autogynephilia before I even knew what that was. I was scared, I didn't want to accept the fact that I was trans. I held that same view of myself through my 20's and early 30's until I finally had to tell my partner that I had "gender issues." She is a great person and encouraged me to explore whatever I thought that meant. I eventually found myself wanting to present female more than male and was able (and lucky enough) to realize that I am my better self as a woman, and that I am and have always been trans. In that time I have found a healthier lifestyle, I have formed stronger friendships, I have learned to love and accept myself and I have become a better person and partner than when I was lying to myself about what my transness was. Before I was able to accept myself, I would absolutely get turned on by the thought and act of cross dressing, but the way I see it is that I was so repressed and closeted that it was the only way for my authentic self to find air and get out. It was my heart trying to send a message to my brain that this is who you are, and you're going to have to deal with this. If someone identifies as an Autogynephiliac (sp?) and that makes their life better, then good. But I know when I did, inadvertently, it was only b/c I was so afraid and shameful of what was actually going on. Do I still feel a little turned on when I am wearing a dress, heels and I look devastating, absolutely. But when I am wearing yoga pants and running in a park, there is no sexual component to it, if anything it's a protective measure from dying of exhaustion. The beginning stages of living authentically are all scary and exciting, and since I was so repressed for so long I just believe that my body didn't know what to do. So I would wonder how many people who have Autogynephilia have actually spent significant time living authentically in a day to day manner. I don't mean to shame anyone who does, and that is not what I am doing. I do take issue with it b/c it feels like an attempt to explain transness as some kind of disorder, when the truth is that my only "disorder" was shame and repression, and my cure was being honest and brave. (Full disclosure, I did not read the article, so take that for what it's worth).
Lovely message and story! I totally had a similar experience about not wanting to admit, and then moving through the stages. To say things simply I think sexuality is often a backdoor of our unfilled consciousness and if that consciousness female it's going to speak if it's not heard through traditional means!
Very relatable. Thank you for posting.💜🙏
this video really helped me. i personally related to the definition of autogynephilia, but i agree it puts too much emphasis on the sexual nature of transitioning, so much so it disregards the other factors involved in transitioning. I myself had this concern, as whenever i try to cross dress I like how i look in the mirror but thinking about it i dont wish to be seen, having a stereotypical male figure wearing a dress makes me feel like i’m wearing my dysphoria. i just feel perpetually sad when i cross dress because my body just doesn’t fit the dress and i’m stuck depressed in some uncomfortable clothes. personally, i related more to the scenario you painted where i can just slap on a dress as a woman because i want to feel comfortable in a dress and not be so eye-catching. of course females own the dress, but when a man wears a dress it’s seen as something progressive, they’re fighting for their right to wear whatever they want. i just want to wear whatever and not divide people.
This was the clearest explanation for it. I had this issue of guilt and misunderstanding for a long time and said it is what it is but still never truly understood. Seems like it’s a coping or tool to discovery in some way but the outside perspective tries to force us to believe something like it’s false which makes it so confusing mentally for some of us. Really wish I watched this when I started having guilt. Could of even transitioned earlier but life has its reasons for the better.
It’s a lot of processing and deep deep work. I’m glad that you have found a lot of value out of this video. I had to spend a lot of time thinking about it to see how I could express and understand and deconstruct this because it’s a very complex topic but ultimately I think it’s really simple. There are ways that your subconscious will want to communicate to you and sometimes it will have to find ways in which you may not have control over which can be your sexuality. I view it as a back door of communication to tell you something and bring attention to something so that your conscious mind could potentially process it. Sexualities one aspect of this but ultimately it’s also about just loving yourself and wanting to be a desirable person however you identify.
im 31, and i am in the very beginning stages of transition. it's so difficult to decipher all of these emotions towards transition itself. I really want to, but at the same time i feel like I am not real.
In what sense are you not feel? You will always be real no matter who you are. It’s really just about pushing the boundaries of your own comfort zone to find what feels right for you and sell into that which will help you become who you are. Sometimes becoming who you are and being yourself is a process of letting go and destroying all the things that were put onto you that society made.
@@AshleyxAdamson I want to transition, but then again I don't because of how hard it would be, and I think I might* be ok if I just didn't all together... I guess I just have to keep going and seeing if it all feels natural.
"how hard it can be" is very relative and I'd just stick with seeing what feels right. I though transitioning would be a lot harder and I was wrong. It depends on your context, and what support systems you can put in place.
Autogynephilia (derived from Greek for 'love of oneself as a woman') is the term Blanchard coined for "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female", intending for the term to refer to "the full gamut of erotically arousing cross-gender behaviors and fantasies". This does not say transwomen, he says males who crossdress. If I had told my NP this why I wanted to transition he would have said no. As we have discussed this gross term that Blanchard coined, this has nothing to do with gender dysphoria. Whether you are a MtF or FtM you have to have gender dysphoria to transition with medical help in Ontario. When Blanchard ran the Clarke now CAMH he let very few transition. All I get from Blanchard is that if i had tried to transition back when he was around it would have been extremely hard and yes i'm that old. Also do not get HsTs this does not explain me either. Loved the video
Thank you for your contribution!
Autogynephilia should never be used to deter someone from transitioning if that's what's best for them. It's just a fact. I personally find it useful for describing my experience.
It made sense for why I wasn't extremely feminine as a kid. It made sense for why I didn't feel dysphoria until I was 13. It made sense why I was never ever interested in dating anyone (men or women). And it made sense for why I had this weird simultaneous attraction and repulsion to crossdressing. EVERYTHING made sense.
Lawrence's book Men Trapped in Men's Bodies just illuminated so much for me and took so much of my shame away. It changed my life to read it.
Ultimately, I'm glad I'm transitioning. I'm glad that I've maintained wonderful relationships with my family and old friends through this process. I'm glad I've had support.
Thank you for your thoughts!
Great job being impartial, and even trying to give as much validity, to the concept autogynephilia, Ashley!
You made some incredible points around the critical questions to ask oneself about how one views their transition and why they're transitioning. Perhaps there are a good list of questions with counter-questions that could be useful for people thinking about transitioning to ask themselves and explore their real feelings about transition. This could be a useful list to help keep detransitioning, as a risk of plowing forward too fast, down below the 2% (statistically).
I am still very early on in my journey (pre-Hrt and pre-surgery), but I have been putting on women's clothes. In fact, as I write this, I have been wearing a wrap bra for 2.5 weeks. When I first put it on (and similarly when I first put on a dress), there wasn't a sexual arousal for me but an anxious and "risky" feeling. Parts of my body acted stimulated but were not in a "sexual mood". I don't think everyone pays that close attention and can sometimes mistaken a similar feeling for being sexually aroused. After purposefully meditating on the feeling as it was happening (almost in an experimental type way), I found that my feelings were of anxiety over an irrational fear of being caught and preprogrammed shame for something that is looked at by society (not my personal feelings consciously) as "wrong".
I share that as one part to a two part counter to the Autogynephilia theory. My ex-wife, when i came out to her the second time recently, tried to put me in the closet, again, with a theory that my gender dysphoria and euphoria were products of complex trauma that skewed/dissociated my focus of escaping the trauma to trying to be a girl, in this case, identifying as my baby sister, 10 years my younger
(it was an insulting and inaccurate analysis, especially since there is nothing that I would've wanted to emulate or trade with my sister). This was a theory back in the 80's that some therapists and psychologists (that were the forerunners for creating transgender conversion therapy) had.
In my opinion, the Autogynephilia theory is, like you said, too reductivist and quick to run to misplaced sexual feelings, ultimately saying: "Transgender = sexual deviance based on mental illness (disassociation)". It's too Freudian and could be another bewilderingly ignorant attempt at cis-het people to dustbin the entire LGBTQ+ equation because they can't relate.
Ashley, I could go on about this because it's such a fresh battle that I've fought, but you hit it dead center when you brought in self-love and how "healthy" transitioning is due to wanting to share with the world the man or woman that you are inside and whom you have come to love and accept. Thank you for being so honest and forthright about this subject!
I’m so glad this was super helpful! I love the breakdown and the way that you teased out all the information so well. Love love love!
Self love would be loving yourself...AGP is when a man doesn't love his self and instead feels that he can only love his self as a woman. AGP's are attracted mostly to women. Also...I have noticed that AGP's are most often found to be NOT in a committed relationship. They seem unable to carry on a normal relationship with anyone other than their "female" self. We have 2 here in our town who transitioned after having children and both have decided they are not only female but they are now lesbians (Oh for FFS....el classico AGP). One of their daughters got married this Summer and did not invite her Father to the wedding. He (her Dad) told all of us that she/he was hurt by the snub. I think this is another good indication of AGP....does this person not have any concept that his daughter could be hurting. The daughter told us that after the devastation of the divorce, the hormones, the breast implants, the surgical removal of his penis, and the absurdity of calling himself a lesbian....she was not going to be further humiliated in front of her new husbands family and friends by having to have her Dad walk around in a dress with his earings, eyelashes and Double D implants and unaturally strained attempt at a high pitch voice. I have found many AGP's here on youtube that understand what is going on with them and are able to describe what goes on inside their heads. It's fascinating. They know they have a fetish to look like a woman. As a woman, I find it interesting that many transgendered men say something very near to what was said here in this video...that you get turned on by being attractive...and who doesn't want to feel attractive. Women (not all but most) don't get turned on by being attractive, we get turned on by being in the presence of a confident, sexy man, the feel of his pulse, the smell of his pheromones, the touch of his hands...not by anything related to how WE look...we understand how we look attracts the man but we get turned on by the man. So many AGP's mention getting turned on by their own attractiveness as a women which is so funny because its like some sort of inverted masculinity. Got to love life and all it's oddities.
Another helpful video. For years I’ve been confused about being a CD or really being trans because I’d do it behind closed doors and meet men this way usually under the influence of alcohol or drugs. This always felt more comfortable than experiencing a gay m4m encounter. I believe I’m in the worst part of those hard times right now. Thanks!
You're welcome! You should check out my book because it might help you with this, it's free. www.ashleyxadamson.com/trans-kung-fu-awakening-of-self-acceptance
Confessions of an autogyneophiliac (long) -
Anne Lawrence, M.D, Ph.D, is actually a friend of mine. One thing about transitioning in 1995 was that it was a pretty small “club.” I know and have knocked around with Anne and most of the other key figures from the seminal days of the “Transgender movement.” When and if it becomes appropriate I might just tell y'all about some of the more noteworthy characters. Anne is definitely one of them. An anesthesiologist by training and experience, she once owned the most comprehensive MtF resource web sites of the day. She went on to obtain her Ph.D. at The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Fransisco. She advised a lot of people on a lot of subjects, including me, Unfortunately, Anne fell from grace for committing some sort of illicit act on one of her anesthesiology patients. Look it up if you're interested in the details.
My personal conversations with Anne took place over dinners and doobies spanning a period of several years ending in about 2000. So the paper you refer to, @AshleyxAdamson, was written years later. Which explains the significant differences in her thinking between our last communication and the content of the paper in question. Back then her theory pretty much agreed with Blanchard's seminal definition of autogynephilia (and my own). An autogynephilic MtF transsexual gets auto-erotic stimulation from the idea of becoming a woman. This construct of such an individual an amorous relationship or “in love” with her female persona is quite a shift in point of view. I think, a bogus one at that. My personal feeling, and knowing Anne, is that this theory's existence and her desire to publish it are not rooted in a pursuit of science but are part of her program to regain some stature in the scientific/medical community from which she was excommunicated. (That's one big reason, and maybe the only one, that she got her Ph.D. I don't believe she'd have ever done that had she been able to continue pumping gas in the OR.).
Understand, I consider Anne a friend to whom I am indebted and I think she thinks of me as a friend as well. I feel badly about being so open with her past and blunt about my impression of its impact on this article. I couldn' let your piece pass, @AshleyXAdamson without sharing “the rest of the story.” I think it is important to read this in light of the Anne Lawrence saga, especially anyone who might be directly affected by autogynephilic feelings, so they can interpret the paper in the light of knowledge. (Anne, if you read this, please understand the nature of the “audience” here. You will understand and approve of my actions. Or, take it up next time we cross paths.)
Now, the reason for Anne's interest in exploring the subject of autogynephilia in-depth with me is, of course, I am an autogynephiliac. I became one of her early '”data points.” My story is so far removed from the posit of Anne's article that it serves to debunk it. So in that interest, I'll relate it briefly here.
My autogynephilia is not born in self-love or lust, but in the trajectory of my trans personality. By which I mean the following. My dysphoria has been severe to the point that I have long been unable to become sexually aroused by my female partners, including the mother of my two children. What aroused me was imagining myself as the female member of my love tryst. After all, I've always been female inside, so it makes sense at least to my admittedly twisted logic. Thing is, after a while I no longer required the physical participation of the CIS female part of the equation. My former expedient( of imagining myself being the penetrate-ee rather than the penetrator) for experiencing climax had transferred to become an integral part of my libido. The idea of being aroused by the idea of becoming a woman, living in a female body, experiencing sex as a woman has held such an allure that it is now foundational. There's a punch line.
At the age of 70, after settling for an orchiectomy back in the dark ages, strictly for financial reasons, I find that Medicaid now covers treatment for gender dysphoria. So for the past year, I've pursued that like a bloodhound, jumping through hoop after hoop so that I now have an SRS/GRS, etc. surgery date of 6/25/2021. I can't begin to express all that that means to me.
Some things that I can express are questions surrounding the uncertain fate of my autogynephilia. In a very real sense, the mental construct that has formed the basis of my core sexuality will be rendered moot. And,t therein lies the punch line of my story: What then?
As a postscipt, if that in any way resembles the theory put forth in Anne's paper. I'll eat my proverbial post-op shorts.
Shelly
Wow thanks for shedding light on this Shelly. What a story!!!!
(raises hand) Hey I'm in Club '95 too! :)
I love how confident you are in this video, when you jumped right I felt like I was in school
Thanks Joshua! I never thought of it that way but I’m glad you’re into it!
Through the cycles of self reflection and then the pressure of wanting to be female and then to let the pressure out, as I first dressed up it did feel sexually arousing, for about a minute then the calm would descend of expressing who I really am. The more I did it the less the sexual feeling happened and it now only occurs in a fleeting way when I'm trying to look attractive but I think that's more a 'the others might find this attractive on me' if you see what I mean.
I feel that trying to pin autogynephilia on trans is because they could not conceive of a man wanting to be a woman and had to come up with something that was basically self delusion. I'm sure it exists in some but not the vast majority of us.
I feel you, Ashley! Isn't it funny ironically, no matter what hoops we dive through to rid ourselves of this residual bit of doubt, triggered like this or that somehow? There is always some residual enough of something to be gnawing at owning that complete sense of self-competence! It can be enough to drive one crazy at times. Makes me wonder at times if there is ever enough that can be done?
I'm 23 and pre everything at this point in time. I have thought about this a bit cos I do get attracted to myself becoming a woman but also other trans women too. Sometimes I even blur the lines a bit between who I am/ wanna become and other trans people because of pornography, were I see myself in the female participants and at the same time them being their own person. Becoming a woman for me in other aspects like clothing, makeup and other stuff doesn't give me sexual satisfaction at all, it just makes me more confident and comfortable in my body. But I do get confused because of this sometimes, like am I really trans or am I just confused? Do I watch that form of content as a form of self love or purely for sexual relief ? Does this happen to anybody or am I just the weird one ?
Ps. Hopefully not too tmi.
It's not possible to become a female, people was born female.
So, you agree that so-called trans women who are actually autogynephiliac heterosexual men are not really trans people at all, and that it's offensive to real trans women to say so. In that case I would like to see the trans community gatekeeping their spaces and excluding those men. After all, if you don't know what a trans woman really is... who does.
It's almost like trans becoming TERFs which is rather meta. Trips me out! Now my head hurts!
9:20 I was expecting Not to like this video and I absolutely Loved it!! You deconstructed it in a very articulated way, congrats! Sure, eventually everyone wanna be, or at least should, the best version of themselves!! But the word itself "Autogynephilia" only mean "To love oneself as a woman", nothing else, and this valid concept can be interpreted in different ways and as explained, scientists tend to use practical methods of analyses linked to sexuality when obviously most people with AGP don't transition simply because of an Erotic desire since the pain wouldn't be worth the Gain!! But it still seems that with the video you ended up giving credit to Blanchard Studies although those would need to be updated quite a bit and i personally think you're totally right. In my opinion Trans people should be given the chance to know themselves better so they can built upon that and become wiser and more fulfilled human being, at least i think so. Knowledge is power (even if ignorance is bless, lol). So here you provided explanations about the first-hand experiences of an AGP Trans woman that are POSITIVE and that's awesome!! And this is the message that should be spread in the language you used: That most AGPs Trans women are absolutely LEGITIMATE and should be seen as such. They should be loved by others and themselves just as anyone deserves to. Hmm, i guess i can't really make this sound right but you get the point
thank you so much for your throughtful reply and synopsis :)
The word autogynephilia actually does mean more than "to love oneself as a woman". It is in-fact a "man who loves himself as a woman". If a woman loved herself as a woman that is just an autosexual. Trans women can not be autogynephiliacs because they are women. I am an autogynephile.
Blancard's sample size was tiny, even by studies on Transgenderism standards. I do get a thrill out of dressing as I do, even 11 years into Transition. Then, I know many Cis-Women who feel the same way, I do love myself which is a prerequisite to loving anyone else,
You are at the very least an honest person... you acknowledge Agp. Whatever that is. Bravo for trying to dissect this phenomena.
I LOVE your discussions. You are diving into the important, but difficult topics. And you're doing it with compassion, grace and insight.
For me.... this clarifies a lot of things. I do not get turned on because i'm dressed - or not even dressed, but in female mode, whether that's clothing or mentality or whatever. BUT I do often get turned on when i'm in that mode. And until recently I've been very very ashamed of that. And it's gotten in the way of my relationships and health (mental and physical). And on the reverse, it's like i have to work harder to be fully turned on when i'm in "dude mode". And that just piles on the shame. I'm working on it. And as I'm hopefully entering the "acceptance" phase, things are feeling so much better already.
Cada vez lo veo más claro... gracias señor "Christine" tu empatico comentario hacia otro parafílico hace más fácil la labor de "detectaros"...
Regarding my own personal views concerning the term/concept of 'Autogynephilia'; I'm pretty darn sure that what/who I am and what/who I want to become have absolutely NOTHING to do with this list from the DSM5 and in fact am offended by the very idea that I should be included alongside this list and characterized as a 'paraphilia' and a 'disorder'.
DSM-5 describes 8 of the more commonly observed paraphilic disorders:
Voyeuristic disorder.
Exhibitionistic disorder.
Frotteuristic disorder.
Sexual masochism disorder.
Sexual sadism disorder.
Pedophilic disorder.
Fetishistic disorder.
Transvestic disorder.
Y'all's thoughts?
Yes self love was exactly why i was able to accept being trans and transition
Dr Z PHD just discussed this topic and was very interesting as well. I do find the theory so limited in nature. it origin is heterosexuality. Society including those who study the topic have passed that point at least a decade ago in my opinion.
I am with you on this. To be authentic and true to yourself is what drives my transition. To be the best version of yourself, inside and outside.
However I still struggle with how much male I factually am and sometimes wish I was not born. Accept what is, who you are is a very confrontational journey and along the way dysphoric in nature with all it secondary issues such as depression, anxiety etc... I see it mostly as a spiritual journey, to know who I actually am, not what society want me to be...
The Dr. Z analysis of this is pretty solid, IMHO.
It comes down to who a person is. Such as self perspective. Which is where identity and self realization terminology arises from. Such as I think this way. I feel this way. My experience is... In such and such a regard. Self visualisation. Who do we see ourselves as? How do we fit into life? What is comfortable? What is not comfortable? And the sexual gratification is also another part of all of these things. If one is able to free themselves from the constraints placed there by norms of society. This is euphoria compared to disphoria. Comfort compared to discomfort. Sexual awareness compared to sexual repression
You are straight up missing the point. "isn't loving yourself being philic at this point?" you ask; well, no. You clearly did not understood Blanchard's categorization. AGP is being attracted to/aroused by the idea of oneself as a woman. I can want to better myself and become an astronauth, a scholar, an athlete, name it, but this does not entail being sexually aroused by this idea. The fact that you propose this false equivalence is telling.
That said, even Blanchard admits that for some AGP transitioning could be the best therapy. The thing is, in today's political environment, and due to the influence of at this point mainstream views on gender, suggesting that there should be a serious study on other possible therapies, like antipsychotic drugs both for homosexual transexuals and AGPs, is anatema.
Transitioning is incredibly ineffective to treat gender dysphoria compared to therapies used to cure other mental conditions.
Oh my goodness, this fits me so well Ashley..... I was told it was just a fetish all my life, it is, but it is so much more. It is just how I express my sexuality...... I am so glad someone is finally giving voice to this!!!!!!! so much love
what i want to say, and what i want to say to a lot of commenters here, is that its ok to persue self-love in this way. but at the same time, most of the AGP trans women i see online have a lot of misogyny tangled in there. they feel its humiliating to be a woman, and thats sexually arousing, but at the same time, it allows them to feel like they dont have to live up the expectations that men have to be smart and strong and sucessful. this is sexist because women should also be strong and smart and successful.
for example i have seen many AGP trans women let themselves fall into calling themselves dumb, dumb girls, bimbos, etc. and i understand the kind of relief it feels like to relinquish the drive to be smart in order to be cool, but what thats doing is saying that women are stupid.
so, while i understand why a lot of AGP trans women want to pursue the life they do, there is a lot of misogyny tangled in there, and the fact that we can't say that trans women are different from women keeps us from commenting on this misogyny.
It’s absolutely a thing and many will try their hardest to say it isn’t. It may not be a factor for all but it absolutely is for some.
That's what I like about you 😏 you explore the psychological aspects of transgenderism while I also love Maya for her honesty about the physical aspects of transitioning. I more closely identify with you in that we are much the same. Even though I'm a transgender lesbian and prefer other trans women I'm still not identifying as female for sexual arousal even though I dress up and hump on furniture and stuff to masterbate I'm not always dressing for that purpose. For instance I'm wearing panties and a bra under sweats right now and not remotely aroused but merely comfortable simply being me.
All of the psychological analysis aside, the song remains the same.
Thanks again for being such a great sister ❤️ and I look forward to your next video. Collin.
🤮
Faced this almost immediately after my egg cracked.
The first thing I first went to a cracked was oh my God I’m not gonna be as hot as I want to be!
As someone who's AMAB, into women and just exploring the fact that I might be trans, I came across this theory as well. I mean I guess for me the biggest problem is it's about sex and sexual desire too much. But for me I kinda feel there's some truth to it when you expand it beyond the sexual desire dimension. Basically, I do feel like maybe I'm just so attracted to the femininity, that I wished I have all that on myself (hence I'm an MtF trans), AND I wanna be with someone, romantically and intimately, who has a lot of femininity herself. Of course even for the trans people who're attracted to people with their desired gender (trans lesbian/gay) I don't think it is something all of us experience.
And of course, I think we can still yet figure out 'why someone is trans'. I support those studies but I definitely think there are multiple reasons. However, what I'd like to bring up here is, I feel like I won't be surprised if people have 'false positive' about their transness. i.e. people who're CIS but identified as trans mistakenly. One of those is perceived gender roles. Fortunately I don't think there're that many people who falsely identify as trans just because they don't like their perceived role of their assigned gender, which they might actually identify as. But I think it might actually be for the wrong reason. Yes, there are still stigmas with people who outright refuse traditional gender roles, but I have to say I feel that, at least in America and most Western countries, they're having it a lot easier than people who're actually trans. (And weirdly for many ppl when they see a 'girly boy' and a 'boyish girl' 'gay' and 'lesbian' is the first thing that comes up with their mind which is actually ridiculous.) However I still have to say that cuz first, hopefully no one objects when I say that, I don't feel someone is trans JUST because he/she really hates the perceived gender roles. Or even because he/she only had influence of the opposite gender of their biological sex at birth. (Of course, those things CAN help people who're actually trans navigate their true identity which I'm fully supportive of). Here's a classic of those story I'm worried about:
Some time ago I came across an animated story online about the story of a trans girl. (I don't think it's completely true. Might be fabricated but the problem is it's sort of popular). And basically, at least the way she told the story, she claimed that although AMAB, she always 'grew up as a girl' as she had only female siblings, but a lot of them, and her dad passed away when she was young. She mentioned a couple of times that she had no 'male role model' growing up, and she more or less lived a 'girly' life. She found herself with more things in common with girls, instead of boys as a teenager. So she eventually came out as trans (amid a lot of struggles) but now with a guy who's accepting of all that from her. I mean I guess this is how a lot of people 'perceive' how trans people are, so as I said it might be fake after all. But the thing is it's popular and I'm afraid that certain ppl are developing misconceptions about being trans. Like, I don't believe in a second that being surrounded by a disproportional number of people from one gender instead of the other growing up will even influence a kid's gender identity, or even sexuality. This is deep down in ourselves and I don't think it can be forced either way, by things like who you grow up with. Also I don't think gender roles necessarily indicates being trans or not. Yes, I do hear that a lot of trans people struggle with gender dysphoria especially when they were forced upon certain gender roles (of their assigned sex at birth). But my own experience is that gender roles sort of prevented me from discovering my true gender identity almost. I'm in a sort of quantitative finance field, which is traditionally thought as a masculine field, and our field is still disproportionally men. I'm also ambitious and have a desire to be a leader, which traditionally is played by men. In most of the novels, series, movies, etc. such figures are almost predominantly male (who get to get the best of the women of course) so that's why I never thought I was a woman when enjoying those literatures. Only then I realized, if you just change those male characters but keep EVERYTHING else, including the part with romance and intimacy with other women (instead of men which a lot of now 'strong female' literature portrays which make sense as the vast majority of cis females are straight), I feel extra connected... My point here is, that's why I support scientifically looking into why people are trans I guess, because especially with the current state of technology such as HRT & SRS, I feel that it would also be a bad thing if cis people incorrectly identified as trans (or even non-binary ones), and ultimately their stories would be used in the favor of actual transphobes. In fact, a prominent trans UA-camr just showed that one of the most popular arguments given by transphobes are, 'Didn't y'all say that gender is a social construct? (Which I sort of agree hence I object gender roles). Then what 'gender' are you 'trans'-ing?' Something like that...
So if I am MTF am I trying to love the woman I feel I am, as a male? Doesn't make sense but maybe I want to love myself more and I have discovered I am female. I am trying to love who I am, that is more likely, because society says I should hate myself and I have to counter that. What I feel I feel. I feel Feminine. I want to love myself for however I feel. Let me put it this way. Transphobes will say you are "choosing" to be trans but I say I have no control over how I feel, it is who I am. It seems autogynephelia implies some level of choice even if that choice is subconscious. I take issue with that and believe my trans identity is more innate. It is part of me whether I want it or not. I have thought about this before because I explored that notion when I was trying to figure out what was going on with myself. Thanks for handling this topic.
Seriously the most dissapointing idea that folks take and run with instead of just talking to us. I have been this way since I was 2. I'm outwardly becoming myself and dropping social masks and nothing less. I'm deciding I can't just give up, If I do it will manifest as a suicide and an illness through other means. I've thought of every angle and still have always felt the same way. The example of applying the same concept to gay men is a really good point.
I’m not trans, but i think most of us want to become attractive to our own standards. When i work out and see progress and results, i think “im getting hotter”. So in a way i think anyone who has self impovement motives has symptoms of what autogynephelia. But i find that people are using it against trans to discredit them and their journey.
Good points!!
You are right. This has to do with self-love to the exclusion of everyone and anything else. It has nothing to do with being intelligent, caring or responsible. It's just about ME. Although a human being has dozens of aspects to them, this is a focus on the gender (or not) of the individual.
This was a great video and I'm glad you'll do some more on the topic. I noticed how insistent some people were about pushing the autogynophile narrative in the comments of the other video. It's sort of unnerving to have such a complex life change like transition boiled down to a fetish, more or less, then to have that idea forced upon you. Some people feel like they need some sort of psychological basis to explain trans people (usually cis people) and autogynophilia has a logic to it. My problem is it comes from some really bad methodology, with bad intentions, and strikes me as the ideas of a person who doesn't understand psychology near as much as they think they do.
The paper you describe talks about a more holistic self-love, which rings a lot truer to me. However, using Blanchard's work as a philosophical starting point sort of bothers me a little. It feels a touch like apologia, despite having a pretty insightful conclusion, but that could just be my instinctual response to the idea of autogynophilia.
I also wanted to say that I'm really happy with your format overall - sticking to the internal philosophical work instead of doing makeup tips or diving into more political hot topics. While those things aren't bad, we just have so many voices for that already. You're doing something special. Thank you!
-Jill
Jill! That’s your name!!! i’ve been wondering what it was. Thanks for calling out how I don’t do all the trendy trans stuff. I do feel like a lot of people cover that and honestly it doesn’t interest me that much. But I may branch out every now and then just to get my take on the situation because I have a different perspective and maybe people in that sphere need to hear that. And yeah a lot of people in that sexuality video did focus on this topic which I thought was kind of weird. The paper I links was actually a really great read and I’m glad you read it. It’s written by a trans women which I think is cool. But they can’t come to the conclusion in the end of this video I said that if it’s all about looking at it through the lens of self love then isn’t that just how we wanna be as humans? we want to feel special, we want to feel desirable, we want to love ourselves! we wanna be lovable!
Holistic self love lol. That's one way to describe erotic crossdressing and masturbation
Obviously not all trans are autogynophiles -but autogynophila is extremely real and it happens in STRAIGHT men who just have an extreme kink. They are not truly trans.
Important consideration of autogynaphilia: it makes no real sense and even if it was true it makes no clinical predictions that differ from mainstream concepts of trans women being women and that they find wearing sexy clothes sexy because women often enjoy wearing sexy clothes. In all cases we benefit from transition and do no harm to ourselves or others. Also a sexual orientation that is not excluding other sexual orientation is not really something that makes sense. It's not useful trying to diagnose trans women as sexual orientation. Treating us as our gender solves our gender issues regardless of what gets us off sexually. If we wanted to get off sexually then why transition? We typically loss a lot of libido and you know become subject of transphobia. Either we're incredibly stupid or we're not transitioning to satisfy sexual kicks. Also I think worth remembering that Blanchard himself judges trans women on our sexual attractiveness to him. Part of the idea of why it's a diagnosis is that some trans women are not pretty as women and so since they look like they do they are invalidated as deluded. But they cannot and should not be judged for their appearance that was never really in their control. There is a lot going on with the topic here, for example being a woman but in a male body and in a society that treats women as lesser for anything other than their beauty...it has some interesting effects but that is not the fault of the women effected. Argh I'll stop ranting. I really don't think this is worth your time Ashley. Although feel free of course. I feel like for me I am done discussing what old cis straight men think about us and our sex lives and rather discuss trans woman focused exploration like you offer so brilliantly ♥️
Violette I love that you wrote this! I think the points that you may have missed or maybe you did see them in this video is that I focused on the discussion that was raised by the trans woman who wrote anote argument for AGP By refocusing the discussion on self-love rather than sexual desire. Which we go on to deconstruct and I basically come to the conclusion that isn’t it just human to love yourself?
@AshleyxAdamson Yeah sorry for not mentioning that, you were referring to Anne Lawrence's Becoming What We Love I think? I read that back in 2018 when I was first coming to terms with being trans myself. I did originally find it comforting myself. I had found little explanation for why I was trans and at that stage I desperately wanted an answer. Was I valid or confused? I feverishly read what I could find.
I guess what I meant is that she's trying to improve Blanchard rather than starting from her own experience. For me that's a bit like hearing the spaghetti monster in space religion and trying to improve it through theology. It's a waste if time. The original idea is mixed up or enforcing a sexual orientation (romantic too) into the definition of what type of trans woman we are. This idea is a bad one. We don't type anyone else this way. Cis women that like lingerie in this bucket and those that don't in this one! It's prosperous. It comes from an assumption of dysfunction and then tried to explain but we're not dysfunctional, we're just unusual. Not the same thing.
Blanchard was noticing real patterns and tendencies (for example the common experience of arousal when early "crossdressing") but his analysis is not a clear lens to view those realities through. There has been studies showing that in cultures where feminine expression is less stigmatised, especially in boys, but girls too, trans girls do not experience arousal nor interest in conception of forced feminisation etc. Showing these tendencies are likely very linked to shame learnt from society. Not ingrained in the sexual orientation of the individual. Again consider the obvious reasons a woman in a male body would sexually develop mentally differently than a cis woman. Our bodies are literally at first a joke and then a sex object after hormones. Beyond that having t in your system does change your sexuality. So we could just be seeing the figment of what a woman with male hormones is often like. I mean think about it, it comes to make some sense. Also it accounts for my experience of coming to have more female pattern sexuality as I transition hormonally. Like less need to have sex generally, less upset if I come close but miss out and able to extend orgasm much longer and feel it wider in my body for example. I also have had my sexual fantasies shift too. Not completely but certainly different.
Also love of oneself as a woman is redundant conceptually if we accept we are women... because then it is simply self love which is not a special concept.
If this is better suited to crossdressers that do not want to transition I still think those men should express themselves not Blanchard. I mean they won't though as shame for that identity is still way too high.
Finally an important concept, "AGP male" is used to commonly dismiss trans women whoever is writing dislikes so caution is needed with the topic. Blanchard literally tweeted saying "For some male-to-female trans activists, claims of having been "slut-shamed" may be viewed as aspirational." and this was specifically in relation to noted trans academic Julia Serano this is famous for, checks notes, refuting Blanchard's typology. So he's using his research of us to dismiss a leading mind inside the trans community! Not her arguments but her identity. His research that makes no sense. This only works because of stigma towards trans women... stigma he is promoting.
Omg sorry rant mode deactivated ♥️
@@AshleyxAdamson just to add I think I'm just trying to express the feeling that we as a community can address AGP but that we must take care when doing so. I realize you are not expounding the virtues of AGP but I really don't want girls coming on your channel and getting further confused about their identity by not cleanly contextualising AGP. I do think contrapoints walked that line in her video. ♥️
@@VioletteLundsten As an egg with its first few cracks showing, your insights are a very helpful, very reassuring presence. So, sincerely, thank you for offering them.
@@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos oh thank you, you're sweet. Best of luck on your journey ❤️
Blanchard's original attitude is heteronormative but I'm queer AF and I accept that. Right up to the point of coming out I would have intensely dark episodes of self-transphobia. But, these are just the echoes of masculine conditioning come to haunt me. My central drive in transitioning is to escape the torment of Gender Dysphoria. My exemplars are cis women sex educators who seek to empower us by loving ourselves as we are. Years of female hormones plus surgery have largely transformed my brain to female. My hopes are that trans and intersex children of the future escape the prescriptive models of the past that nearly drove me to suicide.
Ashley:"Blanchard en su teoría es muy reduccionista .." Ashley también "transicionar/ser trans es quererse a uno mismo," o sea.. ser autosexual...? o sea ser autoginefilico, ¿¿¿¿no... ?¿?¿ XDXXDXD
I've heard even cis-gender straight women can find the image of themselves sexually exciting. They'll put on a sexy dress and look in the mirror and feel turned on by themselves. I don't think it is super common, but it does happen.
I think every trans person experiences their trans-ness a little differently. Some are never turned on by their own image as a woman and some are. I think the ones who are probably feel that way in part because they don't have the body of a woman, but they do have sexual thoughts like someone with the body of a woman, but no way to act on it. So of course they would eroticize something they can't have and fantasize about it. It's the only way they can make it real.
Every comment, including original video: "i think this is reductive and not the reason why i transitioned". Followed by a description of autogynephic feelings that made them realise there're trans.
I think that you are misrepresenting what Blanchard was on about. He set out to explain SOME transsexuals that he interviewed over 15 years ( not just a study). The term AGP is not in it's self an offensive one but rather it is the way it has been weaponized to attack Trans people. Blanchard says explicitly in an interview , that he did not mean it to be synonymous with NOT genuine. It was meant to replace the term "fetishistic transvestite" and to take the emphasis off clothing per se. People forget that Blanchard's 15 years at a gender clinic helped many Trans folk to be able to receive reassignment surgery.
There is also just dressing with some opposite gender clothes knowing where my boundaries are while I am doing it. I would take pictures and get very little stimulation from seeing me in a dress or tights or shorts that may or may not pass as long shorts for guys. Pictures are taken at Goodwill or other Thrift stores. It is a rush that I do not thrive on much, but when I feel like it I put on something that could pass as just a long shirt. I never use make-up or wear women's undies that is not what I am into at all. I just like fashion and risk taking. Looking at the pictures later on my phone has some stimulation. I am thinking that "you are getting away with something" more than you look good. It is rebellious for me but also just seeing what new fashion I can come up with and wear that is all my creation.
I agree I don't think self love is at all exclusive to trans folks, even if it helps drive us sometimes. I do feel like self love was a main reason that I was able to transition, and finding that self love was especially difficult for me, because I'd lived with a body I wasn't happy with for so long. imo transitioning is sort of a form of radical self care, and realizing we're worth that effort despite all the difficulties. But I don't think that's too different from a healthy reason why a cis person might want to get fit - loving yourself enough to take care of yourself in some way.
Exactly! You said it exactly!
Would it be wrong to say that there are some people who experience AGP as a sexual orientation that looks like it overlaps with the trans experience? That’s what it seems like to me.
if you look at the studies done based on age and reason for transitioning it seems HSTS & AGP is true. the real question is, does it make one more valid than the other? i don't think so personally. i don't think there's anything wrong with being AGP. i'm AGP myself! i don't care. if transitioning makes you happy then transition. don't let anyone stop you.
it's hard not to believe the HSTS/AGP dynamic when you look at the demographics of transgenders and look at the age-groups, and the reasons for transitioning, sexuality, interests of those two different average age-groups. a clear pattern emerges:
AGPs transition in their 30s+ (average age being 45), have often cross-dressed for EROTIC/masturbatory purposes (as opposed to HSTS's crossdressing for dysphoria relief purposes), experience gender euphoria when doing so etc. AGP's strangely all seem to be exclusively "transbians", too, attracted to women. these people have often been married, had kids, have large social circles, held down jobs. socialized as male, femininity doesn't come naturally they have to 'train' to it. they will often begin transitioning after something has gone wrong in their life. mid-life crisis, marriage breakdown, change of jobs, whatever. something triggered the transition, they want to escape into their AGP euphoria.
HSTS always transition early, between 12-28 (average age 20), suffer gender dysphoria, but not euphoria (instead they just feel 'right'). HSTS's are exclusively attracted to men and have been from an early age, and are naturally feminine. often socialized as girls, small circle of friends, best friend is usually a girl. transition purely for medical (dysphoria) reasons. (the HS in HSTS refers specifically to natal sex and is not an insult to the person's gender identity, it's just an archaic term used in medical literature that needs updating, and not to cause deliberate offense js)
think blaire white (HSTS) vs contrapoints (AGP)
References:
Two clinically discrete syndromes of transsexualism. Buhrich N, McConaghy N. British Journal of Psychiatry. 1978 Jul;133:73-6. Abstract online
Two types of cross-gender identity. Freund K, Steiner BW, Chan S. Archives of Sexual Behavior. 1982 Feb;11(1):49-63. Abstract online
Typology of male-to-female transsexualism. Blanchard, Ray. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Vol 14(3) Jun 1985, 247-261. Abstract online
Heterosexual and homosexual gender dysphoria. Blanchard, Ray; Clemmensen, Leonard H; Steiner, Betty W. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Vol 16(2) Apr 1987, 139-152.
Abstract online
Nonhomosexual gender dysphoria. Blanchard, Ray. Journal of Sex Research. Vol 24 1988, 188-193. Abstract online
The concept of autogynephilia and the typology of male gender dysphoria. Blanchard, Ray. Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease. Vol 177(10) Oct 1989, 616-623. Abstract online
Nonmonotonic relation of autogynephilia and heterosexual attraction. Blanchard R. J Abnorm Psychol. 1992 May;101(2):271-6. Abstract online
Varieties of autogynephilia and their relationship to gender dysphoria. Blanchard R. Arch Sex Behav. 1993 Jun;22(3):241-51. Abstract online
C. D. Doorn, J. Poortinga and A. M. Verschoor, “Cross-gender identity in transvestites and male transsexuals” www.springerlink.com/content/u63p723776v57m11/
Transsexual subtypes : Clinical and theoretical significance Smith Yolanda L. S.; Van Goozen Stephanie H. M.; Kuiper A. J.; Cohen-Kettenis Peggy T.; Psychiatry research (Psychiatry res.) 2005, vol. 137, no3, pp. 151-160 Abstract online
Anne A. Lawrence, “Sexuality Before and After Male-to-Female Sex Reassignment Surgery” 2005 link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-005-1793-y
A Further Assessment of Blanchard’s Typology of Homosexual versus Non-Homosexual or Autogynephilic Gender Dysphoria, Nuttbrock, et al. Archives of Sexual Behavior
www.springerlink.com/content/b48tkl425217331j/
It’s interesting because I don’t really see myself in either of those camps I could just pick and choose from both of those camps. Which is why I just kind of don't buy it. I mean I dig into this in the video a lot more but just to look at your breakdown which I think is really helpful I’m in both camps. I am a bisexual trans woman who identified as non-binary at 28 it felt right and then I transition for the female and then changed my sexuality to prefer men. do you feminine is something that has always been natural for me but something that I’ve also steered away from because of my own inner transphobia.
@@AshleyxAdamson i think they're just generalized profiles taken from averages, i don't really fit into either. i think the literature is a little archaic and outdated. but i don't think they're inherently untrue either because there are patterns when you take trans people and break the demographics down by age and reason for transitioning, which i do find interesting
i think a better [updated] way to think of it would be
gender dysphoria vs gender euphoria rather than HSTS vs AGP.
there are people who don't suffer dysphoria but are extremely unhappy, depressed, don't like who they are without necessarily having a gender crisis. but find that they're happier and their depression is relieved when crossdressing or transitioning, and feel euphoria.
i think more modern & unbiased studies should be done and i think gender euphoria should be given the same respect and validity for being trans as dysphoria. personally.
I am neither HSTS, nor AGP myself.
The way I understand it currently is that the "sexual side" of my transidentity is the only one where I can push the boundaries of my comfort zone without the burden of shame and internalized trans and homophobia
This is how I was able to try experimenting with make up.
This is how I feel comfortable about my attraction to men.
What you mean is and correct me if im wrong but... you don't get sexual gratification from crossdressing anymore.
Hi Ashley,
I watched this video earlier but didn't comment. I was brought back here when you linked it to a comment on a recent video when the commenter mentioned Blanchard. Wow, again, a lot to unpack. One thing that struck me right away is, yes, we all want to be desirable, but if I were to pursue that alone I would not have gone through electrolysis or HRT to stay desirable to my spouse who I love and feel very connected with, or desirable to other women for that matter. So where does that leave me? I do feel I am still trying to be the best me that I can be. I am still trying to be the happiest and truest me I can be. It's a struggle. I have to wonder how much of my 'need' to have FFS and/or GCS is to more easily fit in to what others in society would deem more acceptable. I honestly don't know if I would go through with either surgery if it was only up to me.
I do think Blanchard has it wrong. I find it discouraging Blanchard is defining us in what he deems as the most important driving force to him and other male psychologist, sexual arousal. I have to think all this would be a non issue if society wasn't so restrictive in it's binary view of gender. If we all could just be and present as who we feel we are without judgement and persecution from others. Heaven on earth.
Hugs!
Christie
all very good points Christie!
I mostly dress masculine. Flannel, beanie, and blue jeans. When I do pass people assume I’m a lesbian because of stereotypes
So many stereotypes!
I went through a similar experience, but I talked to many cis girls and 100% of them said that when they dress up they feel sexy and somewhat aroused especially at the early stages of puberty. I think that it us completely normal for anyone to feel sexy in certain clothes and have that feeling of arousal. It’s all new when you are first cross dressing or deciding to transition but after transition those feelings went away but still felt good about myself. Now, fast forward five years later I’m struggling with detransition and my shortcomings of was i ever really trans or did I just like the image of myself being a woman for the time being. I’m in the process of looking for a gender therapist cuz all this isn’t an easy pill to swallow (hrt joke) hopefully I come to a positive conclusion but anyways I appreciate your videos on topics that are really talked about often
I realized about a year ago that I am a transgender female, and shortly after that, I came across this concept - I think the term used was autoeroticism. Being attracted to women (my wife and I have been married for 36 years), this idea caused me to briefly question my motives for transitioning. Could it be that I was really fantasizing about being sexually attracted to myself?
I had never tried cross-dressing, although I recall as teen I sometimes would wonder what it would be like to try on my sister's cloths. After realizing I was transgender, I bought some woman's cloths online, including a full-length dress. When I tried it on the first time, I did experience a moment of arousal. It lasted about 10 seconds and then disappeared, and it has not happened since. I believe the reaction was because of a feeling I had of doing something strange and 'forbidden' for the first time.
I would have to say that for myself, the idea that I am pursuing an autoerotic fantasy is not correct. The reason I am transitioning is to bring my body and hormones in sync with the internal model of myself that I have carried most of my life. I am also hoping to no longer be perceived as male by society. The autoeroticism hypothesis does not factor in. From what I gather, that is the case for the vast majority of transgender people.
I have never heard the terms autogynephilia or autoerotic fetishism applied to gay or lesbian people, and I imagine most would object and be offended if they were. I suspect that in the case of transgender people, who may appear to be even more 'outside the norm', some psychologists feel the need to over-analyze and come up with new hypothesize for a phenomena that eludes them. The phrase "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" comes to mind.
It's perfectly okay to be autoerotic. There's so much unnecessary and suffocating shame surrounding sex. You didn't choose your attractions. You chose to transition, and it seems to have been to right one.
Gay and lesbian people, if they aren't transgender, probably wouldn't experience autogynephilia the way trans people do.
Until very recently, I was sure that I was turned on by the idea of being female. I'm not so sure now. I think it's actually that being male turned me off.
Best to figure that out early! :)
I would say I'm definitely in both camps, I would say I certainly feel satisfaction from getting into feminine clothing because that's 1 way I internally valid being closer to my true self, that being said I knew that I was trans before I became sexually aware, I was upset as a child because I didn't get to wear dresses like the other girls but I didn't get sexual gratification from that
*validate
Where does self-love becomes narcissism ?
There's a HUGE difference between being in love with your own body sexually and wanting the best for yourself. If you pay close attention to what Dr Blanchard says, you'll see he says there are TWO types of trans women: autogynophilics and HSTS- homosexual transexual. He explains very well the difference, and how it's plain to see the differentiation
Another interesting vlog again Ashley. 🌹🌹
Well transition was for me a vehicle how to meet my traumatized self from a past life, how to find love for myself as a woman was a way how to find love for her, because in that past life I hated and cursed my feminity, and wanted to escape it somehow, which had an impact on this lifetime being born male and female at the same time, and experiencing gender dysphoria. By transition I am letting go of this karmic curse. It's kind of poetic, cause being a woman born with a large portion of male anatomy and biology makes it harder to find love for myself as a woman after transition, and yet I am willing to do it. It's all about alignment between the soul and body at the end.
What many are ignoring is that transgender women and AGPs are not the same thing. They're two different types of people. Some people experience dysphoria and are trans. Some men love to cross dress and are AGP.
Sadly, they've been lumped together. They're not the same.
love the call out here! thank you, totally agree!
ContraPoints did a video about autogynephilia a while back. She and I both noticed the fatal flaw in that hypothesis: It doesn't explain the existence of trans men.
I'm 34 and will turn 35 in July, and I've been on titty skittles for 7 going on 8 months. I spent my prior life putting on a guy front when it wasn't the real me. I've always known on some level that I was a misidentified woman. There's no going back to that male hell for me.
that's because autogynephilia specifically refers to mtf.
ftm would be autoandrophilia
Thank you!
I don't want to be a woman
I'm bi man but I get aroused by cross dressing
I want to stop it
Do you know how to stop this? I can't sexually intercourse with people due to this issue
What’s the name of that painting in the thumbnail
dunno :D
It's more 'Gender Euphoria' than dysphoria. One reason AGPs transition later - in their 50s for example, is because they don't have gender dysphoria. Either they don't mind being men, or they actually like it. When the male Gender Euphoria drops too low and it becomes more pleasurable to be a woman, they transition (imo). That's also why older AGP men can be treated with hormones and the desire to transition diminishes or disappears
I think a lot of older folks transition is more related to societal indoctrination rather than the fact that they're older or happy as a man. Yes you can be happy as a man (i was) but let's not ignore the fact that until the past 5 years it has never been socially acceptable to be trans anywhere.
I love you Ashley.. your mind and peronal strength is amazing.
This thing is real, i see a beautiful Asian girl smiling at me, i don't see myself, that's not a bad thing, and it's an opportunity to...The thing is we have male psyches so seeing a female in the mirror is like staring at another women.
Im a total autogynephilic fetishistic crossdresser.
Solid food for thought Ashley
You do Lawrence a justice she does not deserve. You talk about "self love" and other ways of interpreting her work, but go and have a look at it. She misgenders trans women throughout it, and never once refers to herself or any other trans women as women. Hell, she doesn't ever refer to herself as a trans woman. She refers to herself as a "Transsexual" and she refers to wanting "be a woman" but at no point does she acknowledge trans women as women, so it's hard to interpret that as "self love"
Like this quote? "Recent prevalence estimates
from Western countries are nearly an order of magnitude higher, with about 1 in 12,000 men having undergone sex reassignment surgery, and about 1 in 7,400 having sought treatment for transsexualism".
She literally calls trans women men...
You also have the basic foundation of this whole awful movement wrong. Blanchards theory is that AGP is specifically an aspect of trans women who are attracted to women. Blanchard's theory calls trans women purely attracted to men "Homosexual Transexuals" (itself a term that inherently misgenders trans women) and they are the second part of his typology, the "opposite" of AGP.
The last sentence of the paper is this "Thinking about nonhomosexual or autogynephilic MtF transsexuals as men who “love women and want to become what they love” offers a more accurate and more richly informative model for clinicians."
"Think of them as men..."
You, as a trans woman are doing yourself and your audience an injustice when you put forward a framework that inherently tells us we're not women, and paint it as a framework of self love.
The only way to spin Lawrence's writings as being about self love is if you accept it as "the love of oneself as a man who wants to be a woman", which is a "self love" built on repression, denial and internalised transphobia...
eww gross thanks for sharing your opinion. Honestly, I find it confusing. Thanks for sharing your take on it.
Wow, you go deep Ashley! Another excellent dissection of a topic which is so confusing to many. I have been aware of Blanchard's proposition for sone time now and have never held any regard for his psyco-sexual hypothesis.
As for myself, my gender dysphoria and subsequent understanding of myself is a much simpler matter. Either be my true self or allow my coping personality to self destruct the 'both' of us. This may sound dramatic but it is not nearly as dramatic as the reality.
You are beautiful through and through sister. I am so grateful for you, my love to you.
Gotta go deep! Thank you Megan. Love your perspective too!
Thnx for your great video, made me feel good about myself again after one hour of autogynephilia-recipes from other channels, :-//
I wanted to tell my story to maybe help others that might have a similar experience to mine:
Since my adolescence I was ashamed about the fact that it turned me on to wear women clothes and imagine I had sex with men. But I couldn't help it. For 20 years I couldn't stop doing it by myself in secret, because the thought of that this ist just a fetish plagued me. Imagining having sex as a woman was so heartwarming and relaxing to me though.
On some point I decided, that I will come out with it and start dating with people that might accept my "crossdressing". So I did and it was AMAZING that there were people out there, that also thought I'm hot in the way I like to be presented. Automatically "it" stopped being this closeted, "I'm-ashamed-of" thing and became just part of my daily life. It also stopped being just an "only-sexual" thing and turned into a daily life identity.
My point is: when cis people like to present their bodies in a sexual, gender affirming way, it's welcome from everybody EXCEPT religious or conservative groups. Sexuality altogether is considered something to be ashamed of from many, but it's such a huge part of life. My own sexuality didn't match with my body, so I transitioned. I didn't use to feel like a girl or a boy, I just felt shitty about my body, even though I got a lot of compliments about it, that I never understood. Just didn't like me to look like a man, hang me. Now after Transition I like me much better. Am I a man, a woman? I definately like female pronouns and be perceived as female. I am many things. Man, woman is just a part of them.
P.S.: Trying to prove that I deserve to be a (trans) woman is very tiring, time consuming and at the end plays into the hands of those who doesn't want us to exist anyway. Just am and do what I want safely and open. As long as I don't harm others, there is nothing wrong with it. I am valid. Maybe a bit more narcissistic than before, but in a heathy way my psychologist tells me. 😙
I had a therapist tell me our sexuality is how we express ourselves. I was in denial and would argue with her at the time and tell her I wasn't trans. Also repressed feelings can show up through sexuality. Even Cis-women can feel "cute" or "sexy" in a particular outfit is that to be considered autogynephilia?
It's a complex topic, so I try to approach it easy. I love myself to look and behave more with a feminine touch, even 100% feminine but with natural look. However, at home I love to apply make up, wear skirts (so convenient!), sometimes stockings (I love legs, including mine!) and as I hate hair (lot of men actually do!) I regularly epilate (and I am thinking of laser treatment). I don't know if this is a Hollywood's vision of ideal female, a cultural thing or also something programmed in our brains, but for some reason, people of different gender are following some patterns for ages. I just always loved my mother's painted nails and the elegance (verbal and non verbal). So I am doing it at home. And my wife helps me with that. Yes, I am still into women, as always 90% of me, where the rest 10% I could probably reserve for a really close male friend. I sort of had one platonic relationship like that. And this is a balance that never changed. I love myself as a female, and only sometimes I feel good as a man. I never accepted myself as a man but something else I wanted to be in-between. Also, I never wanted to follow what I was expected to do as a man. So, I started to work on that but I regret I didn't follow my dreams when I was younger. Because I love myself more by accepting who I am and I try to express it even if I am fully in my male body public representation: I wear cool earrings, most of the time I have painted nails, and I am working on more and more cross-bending-look. More colourful clothes, not that dull men's wear BS. Why we forgot that men also were putting glamour stuff? Anyway, I started to accept myself more as a human being in the public space this way. About my behaviour, 50% of men never understood my politeness or my feminism-sort-of (or at least anti-chauvinistic) point of view, so I think some feminine part of me took over already. My father never gave a sh*t about my masculinity and what should I do but until this very day his expectations were never met :D. Sorry, dad! Or, no sorry, it's just the way it is. No regrets from my side. Still, I would love to walk in high heels from time to time, put a skirt and make up. It's an objectification for sure, but it just feels good to be a vamp! A strong, determined and intelligent woman I feel I am. I am not a woman technically and I never wanted to transition, but I would love to have this freedom to express myself more without being judged as a pervert. I often fantasise (aka daydream) about anything really, anywhere, so it doesn't mean anything more than that for me, with the other exception that this one is more kink. We need more kinky people to make this world colourful. Do I have autogynephilia? Am I a narcist? A cross-dresser? Transvestite? Well, I guess a little bit of everything. Everyone's different, so it's interesting how quickly people tend to do this low effort brain exercise to categorise people just with a single word?
Another interesting person found to add to my watch list. I suppose I see a lot of my own personality traits mirrored :). Can we not just say that there is a lot of deeply contemplating and contradictions of being a Trans Woman. It is like a tangled spiderweb tied to a fusing star while expecting it to burst alight but does not, all the while more threads condenses and expands the network. (Ahh the hard work of trying to articulate my words. )
hahah yes it's very complex!
I always love myself
But Ashley... Do you recognize you were born a man? Because you said early on in the video you didn't cross dress. Then later that you did.
Thanks for your honesty.
Autogynephilia is not in of itself bad. It's a thing. Nothing is regular or normal.
Everything but abuse can be positive or cool .
Nobody is born a "man".
@@SimulatedSaint sorry, male.
As for the haters, I feel sorry for them like it must be a shallow existence not being able to have compassion for a fellow human being that isn't affecting anyone but themselves & for the haters not to understand the deep self reflection us trans people have to go through & the courage it takes to go through with your transition knowing that people would literally wish you dead for just being yourself, like seriously who would choose the negativity trans people get, it's not a choice it's a deep internal conflict that has to be resolved deep within the extent to which each person goes is what makes each transition unique & being trans has been known to lead to, too many suicides, I'm pretty sure if it was like a social club which it definitely isn't but if it was there would be 0 voluntary members, who Oh to only have to worry about what you are having for dinner tonight, between my gender identity & the cruel & brutal card my little guy was dealt being autistic, non verbal & epileptic I wish all I had to worry about is what's for dinner, Anyway that's my rant on the haters. The positives I have in my life is my son, & his beautiful personality regardless of his struggles, my IT repair business which keeps me sane, my loving partner Jess, my business partner Murray who has been very accepting & my very good friend J who has walked the trans path before I, everyone else is just noise.
I hope that I can be a healper for My brother And My family and friends
Contrapoints here on You Tube has a good video about this subject matter: funny, informative, etc.
When we dress up I feel like we are cross dressing and always felt that way , but it is for the fashion and clothes its not the body or female its just the clothes are very beautiful like a ancient cultures where men dress very beautiful. If this was true then how come when people do transition they become straight ;/ girls look at fashion models and beauty icons and get surgery to look like who they admire? I love the female body but that doesn't mean I feel female I of course have a look I would like to have but the closer I am to that physical look the less I would be sexually attracted to it. If I was really sexually attracted to it at all or just felt I could relate to more and therefore bond more or feel more safe as I am closer to what I feel is the true me. I just see this term is more from someone who doesn't understand or looking for other excuses to see that being trans is a thing on its own and not related to all these other factors they want to stick it to. I was all about Trans pride and such but with how dangerous this has become. because people who want to persecute or harm trans people makes it just very scary, and to wait awhile until this war ends or at least calms down is more ideal. I feel like being label as Trans or something is personal and unless someone wants to explain that to another person privately should not even be a thing to others. Also many people are bisexual and can easily go both ways or fall in love based on emotionally bonding or common things or even just hey we click or I like your cheek bones and then get talking more and fall in love. I feel like its just another excuse to pin trans as some type of pervert thing when its just gender and that is personal and between God and the person. I pray everyday this war and hate on Trans people ends I pray for the day that trans female and men will just be men and wemons without this label attached to them. I feel like when people lable it is alot what Hitler did to the jews and creates them being looked at as less than a true gender they have went through so much pain grief and other things to become. I pray that the hate and divison ends and even it would not have to be in the gay flag because I do not see why it is even in the gay flag or lgbtq but for the reason that many were looked at as gay before transitioning or still bi . Although the attacks on the trans people is as bad as on the gay people.
Well I have woman and men attracted to me I love it and feel I am passing I been dating both
Love you Ashley. I will have to get back to this video later❤️
A well presented point.
People who have autogynophilia are not trans women. It is important to know which is which what applies to you and respond accordingly Autogynophilia seems to be a very sad and unfulfilling form of narcissism
I get it it's like Chakras it all has angels degrees love can turn to lust and hate 🤔 anything and everything is a paradox self love can be self obsession all about ones self desire bright light can be blinding but yes people try being better to where they lie to them selfs
Autogynephilia is OCD sexual obsession, nothing more. No matter who you are, trans or not.
i was dragon ball z and in love in my look ....
but in the eng realizd thet i atracted to drgon ball z...
but love myself as a femal and bicom MTF 😋🥰
I dont see why seeing yourself as a woman in a sexual way would be anything other than a way to alleviate a dysphoric life. In my experience as first a sissy and now a trans pre everything woman sex was how i figured out i preferred being female. That turned from i prefer sex as a female to i also prefer life as a female. Not sure if that makes sense.
Totally does. People approach from a few different angles, sex is one of them!
no one should accuse someone of being autogynephilic cos is like accusing someone to be gay .. its outragous
This Serously so important information thank you
My pleasure
ah so its agp that keeps turning me into a sub for D
based, thanks agp
Your beautiful Ashley always great to see you awesome intelligent video love you Ashley
I thought I was a CD, like most of us. Nah Im just trans lol
Truth
5:55 i have.. ehm.. cross-undressed before, for lack of a better term 🤣
You're smart 🤓
You should be on some sort of council for the next generation of humankind.
I'll take it!