First Time Hearing Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier | Suicide Survivor Reacts
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- Опубліковано 8 кві 2022
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This is a request from my Friday Let's Talk Mental Health stream and is my first time hearing Would Anyone Care by Citizen Soldier. It definitely hit deep because I know these thoughts all of too well. These are such common thoughts for people struggling.
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Next song by citizen soldier called stronger than my strom
Could you react to fake plastic trees by Radiohead please.
Yes, being the answer to would anyone care, is the reason i'm still alive.
I've never done ok in therapy. I've always been the "rock" for every one else. I haven't been ok since. I"came home" and right now this is kinda just me screaming at the walls ua-cam.com/video/VbaFJiWftwk/v-deo.html
You should check out the nearest songs just released today cause this is your sign part 2 released toady, i recommend the song this is your sign that hits really hard.
Thank you for such a great reaction!
Thank you guys so much for watching! Would love to have you guys join the other artists (ex. Billy Bob Thornton, John Corabi, Teddy Andreadis) who have stopped by and talked mental health with me. Would you be down to a chat next month (mental health awareness month)? I think it would be very insightful. Love you guys already and I am only a few songs in!
Love ya guys. Please keep what you guys do going.
And ty for the wonderful song that a lot of us including me can relate to 🧡
@@MentalAmanda there new álbum comes out next wensday
Do you know Mha if so I think this would be awesome for Deku/Izuku Midoriya
Citizen Soldier is a band about depression, suicide, and other mental health struggles. The lead singer Jake attempted suicide in 2013 and created this band to show that you can make it through all the struggles. The band has helped me a lot all their songs have related to me to a T its insane how they make you feel.
Jake Segura actually wrote the lyrics to let it burn while in the hospital after his suicide attempt and in the song he is referring to "kid" as himself the song is a reminder to him and everyone else to never give up!
I broke down just hearing that, but in a good way. I am still here because my flicker has always been more like an all-consuming inferno, which ended up burning me indiscriminately. Music is dear to me as it was undoubtedly the crutch I had left to lean on while saving myself. I am beyond overjoyed to finally learn there is a whole band dedicated to my exact purpose and being. Their music and commercial success has inspired and motived me beyond words, and WILL end up being a leading narrative in my own story. Though my story and songs I will reach the ears and minds of those whom need what I so desperately begged for. Bless the futures we all still have.
I was in a dark place when I started listening to citizen soldier the first song that got me into them is the weight of the world. Their music I can really relate to. Their music is more of a therapy then going to a therapist for me.
@@blackphoenixgirl2236 I kinda agree with you there I've been in therapy before and then I found music not only citizen soldier but also other artists and different types of music I'm not really going to go into but I used to just hit walls and stuff till I didn't feel the pain of life any more but now I can say that I'm actually here to stay for good and I'm happy about my choice
I didn't know that
I personally know Jake, Citizen Soldier's lead singer, and he's an absolute gem of a human. He's been through a lot of bad things, and now he makes music to help inspire other people to never give up. He also helped me on my musical path as well. Amazing man, all around.
Hi David, I'm a veteran with PTSD amongst other things. Please thank Jake from me, his songs have really hit home with me. I would not be here today without people like him... Give him my regards please and good luck with your musical future bro!
@@tonybooy9807 will do!
i would love to meet this person that your talking about but i know it will never happen. im walking down a very very narrow road in hopes of falling off but im still here so far.
@@mikefrazier3412 go to any of Citizen Soldier's shows! They interact with their fans very often, and Jake is very friendly and open
By the songs he did I can see that his songs are heart touching honestly some of his songs have me tear up and I don’t cry very easy lol he does a great job on his music
I immediately started crying when the first sentence was sung. I really hate to see people struggling but at the same time it's kind of a relief maybe? to see that I'm not the only one.
We all struggle in our own way. No one is alone in that. Amanda's vision with helping people with mental health issues is much needed.
Take care and don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone, that's always the hardest part no matter what your struggle is.
@@ak2nda695 I agree. and yes! I'm really grateful for what she's doing. thank you so much. I've been feeling better recently.
hope you're having a great day :)
I feel you on that
That song hit me really hard. It’s like someone saw my soul and thoughts and put it into a song.
Same tbh
I tried k!lling myself in the shower last year.. ik that probably sounds a little strange but still
I'm so glad I'm still here
That is ALL their songs
For me I hate myself, hits super hard.
I stumbled onto this song by total accident, and just the first few lines had me reliving some long repressed memories of asking myself these same questions when I was younger. I sobbed through the whole song, and then I just kept pressing replay.
Hey Amanda I want to thank you. Finding your UA-cam channel has really opened my eyes to why I wasn't killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and why I didn't kill myself that night I first heard Save Me by Jellyroll.
Two nights ago I got a phone call from a battle buddies wife and she was frantic. Her husband was locked in his cellar and was planning to commit suicide. She asked if I could help. I told her to tell him to answer my call on his cell phone when I call. I hung up with her and called him. He answered and I told him I needed to tell him something. I told him about me almost committing suicide. We talked for 4 hours when he finally went up the stairs and asked the police to take him to a mental hospital so he could check in. I'm traveling to Washington state Monday to visit him in person.
Dude, I've got no words, as I've got no realistic comparison in my life. Sounds kinda empty, but stay strong, and your buddy too
@@damiankynoch7724 I will and your words show the compassion vets dearly need
@@chrismadden132 yo man. That's rough. But thankfully you were there for your battle buddy. You had his back when he needed it. Massive respect man.
I hope your friend gets the help he needs. He and his family are blessed to have you in his life. I'm sure it's not the only reason you are alive, it's humbling to think that you being there for your friend is part of your path in life. You didn't end your life so you could save his. You might not have known it and maybe it only a small part, but I guarantee it is the most meaningful thing to his family.
Please share this channel with your friend(s) and let him (them) know your sacrifice for our country is greatly appreciated. It is sad to me that people think if you didn't die in battle that you didn't make a sacrifice. Anyone who sees the horrors of war do sacrifice their mental health.
Thank you for helping your friend you're awesome.
@@ak2nda695 I owe him my life literally. In Iraq he took a bullet for me. Talking him down was the least I could do.
I've watched this video multiple times so came back to comment again:
I love how you nodded yes at the lyric "Would anything change?" ...
but then you shook your head no at "Would you all be just fine?"
We need more people like you in the world who genuinely understand this feeling. Your reaction is amazing. If only the basic population could understand what people with mental illness go through and then the people who are left to deal with the aftermath of a suicide.
Every single Citizen soldier song feels like they've taken an in depth look at my soul. This song, the moment it starts I'm already fighting off tears but the lyric "I've never felt worthy of love" always causes the dam to break. Again this band is SO amazing and so important, I hope you'll continue to check out more of their work. It's hard what to choose, honestly all their songs are worth checking out.
If you haven't already I highly suggest the song that started it all, Let it burn, wrote down in a hospital after the main vocalist tried to commit suicide but survived. I greatly appreciate them and you, I've never had someone dissect a song like this so well so I'm really grateful, Thank you.
Tears, tears and more damn tears 😭 this was a knife in the heart twisting, awesome stuff 🖤🖤🖤
this song came on my pandora 13 minutes after I was informed about my friends suicide. I stop talking to him after he and I had a falling out. it kills me cause he tried to reach out to me and I was so mad at him. now I feel so much regret for not helping him. this song is the only connection I have to him now. thank you for reacting to it.❤
He knew below his Shadow that you still cared. His struggles just outweighed his coping mechanisms. It's not your fault. 💖
wow , what an amazing song,, first time hearing it. really loved what you said about suicide not ending the pain but just transferring to others. the main reason i have not turned out the light.
Citizen Soldier is awesome... I feel like they are singing about my life.. I can relate to their songs. I have suffered through for 71 years and still struggling. There are two more songs you should listen to "This is Your Sign" and "Still Breathing".
Both are great songs
The plot in you - letters for a dead friend, is...really deeper and the feeling on the song is just...uff
Well again you have made a grown man cry 😂 but there's nothing wrong with with that thank you so much girl for what you do ❤️
Damn these onion slicing ninjas sneaking in here.
I’m a combat veteran with severe ptsd, depression and anxiety. I was 19 when I deployed to ramadi Iraq. I’ve seen an done some shit that haunts me today. My flashbacks an nightmares feel like I’m back over there. I’ve been back for 17 years. I had 2 brothers commit suicide this yr in the same month. They prepared us for combat but not to come home. Reach out if you suffer from any of these. See ya in Valhalla brothers.
I hope you can find strength and your brothers are at peace. Thank you all for your sacrifices in protecting me.
Ty so much again for your words of caring an sympathy. I was having a bad day and watched this reaction. I love this song and band in general. You are amazing and even over the internet, on UA-cam, your words are power. Be blessed. 4+ years clean an sober an still going strong.
Proud of you!
A really "For sure nobody has heard this song" that is all about mental health is "Last Chance" by Anybody Killa. Great song and the video is pretty heavy. Maybe worth a watch if you're looking for something out of left field. Love the channel, keep it up. 👌
The reaction was amazing in itself, but then you had an instrumental of "One More Light" playing at the end. I'm in absolute tears.
Feel every word of that song and so glad thats not where i am anymore,,to anyone out there listening to this and feeling that ,open up reach out you are so worth the fight so worth tomorrow. Trust me I pulled the trigger and im so grateful im alive now.
The ideas stated in the song are things I've thought about for months now and they just are very difficult to fight at this point, but I'm still going.
And you can keep going. You are strong, and we’re all glad you’re here. I’ve been there too a lot of times. Even quite recently. That you’re talking about it is a very important first step to fixing what’s wrong. I hope you start feeling better soon mate. We support you
@@justsomeawesomeperson6396 thanks! Name ironically helps this message lmao
The fact that these are lyrics in a song shows that there are MANY people that feel just like you. Many have faced this and overcome it. You got this!
Love Citizen Soldier's music, they keep me going. They help me to fight my demons day in and day out. Depression is so exhausting and to keep on fighting and just survive does get too much. All you can do is try to not give up, not easy.
Ive known about this song for a while. Ive never been able to explain to people how my thoughts work. But citizen soldier knows how to put it into words.
The first time I ever heard this song and this band I was ready to take a plunge off a parking garage, and a random stranger came up next to me, and played this song and just sat with me for hours while I broke down, that was the first time I ever felt that much compassion from another human, and too this day he still checks on me, it's amazing how much 1, just one interaction could make an impact on your life
You got a Chester too! This makes me so happy!
This song was so helpful and emotional as a suicide survivor myself 😢❤
Thank you so much, Citizen Soldier!
Me too survived five suicide attempts and three years of self harm dont do that anymore keep shining your light and thank you amanda for being there
We all are here for you, Jamie.@@jamiegoddard562
I can tell you first hand as a suaside survivor how bad it hits the ones who love you, especually the ones you didnt know loved you, 2 years ago inside my house whitch is wired with security cams everywhere, i took my life, and was found shortly after doing so in time that EMS managed to make my heart beat again, i was found by my mother, father, sister, and brother who came to check in on me as i hadnt texted any of them in a week at the time, now they didnt get my heart going until after i got into the ambulance so my family thought i was gone for good. They told me i ended up flat lining 3 times total, but im still here, first thing i did when i got cleared from the hospital a few weeks later, went into court ordered phyco theropy as a ulturnative to being charged with attempted suaside and yes its a real charge anyways first thing i did was reviewd the security cam footage of that day i died. Because i know how lonly and empty i felt when i took my life and seeing how devistated and scared my family was to find me dead on the floor, it was an hd security cam so i could see the detail and the devistation in there eyes and horror on there faces, because moments before hitting the floor dead i felt i was alone, no one cared and i wasnt loved and was hated by all, but as i watched the horrer show of the cam footage i broke down hard because i could see how loved i was and how people i thought hated me had actually loved me all along, i am fotunate enough to see what suaside did to my family after i died temporarily
I am so grateful that you are still here with us and I hope you keep healing 💖
I once thought of eating a bullet and stop anyone from doing it. The thing that stopped me was one simple thing...I said something about it and others stepped in. I was in the military and what happened was kept in-house. I saw others who were having struggled worse than me and changed how I handled problems. I tapped into my inner strength and have been running with it ever since 👍
This song has so many of my own feelings in it. And I love that you are reacting to it ❤️
Thank you citizen soldier every song you create really hits home for me and I can relate in so many ways I thank Citizen Soldier for everything they do for people like myself
Yup. I still have the same username, but i’ll change it once my headache stops from being ill. Anyway. This song kinda reminds me of when i was in a relationship with a girl who really struggled with suicidal thoughts at times. I still sometimes dream of how sometimes late at night i had to force her down until she got too tired and fell asleep, just so she couldn’t do anything to hurt herself. Or i had to find her in the woods because she ran away saying she would end her live. It happened a lot, but i’m glad i was always able to help, even if she hated me for it. And i’m glad i even had the courage if she threatened me. I had a dream about it again last night, and i’m not sure why. It’s not something i think about really, but i never talked about it either. I’m just happy that she’s better now and that she found her own way in life, even if we had to go our separate ways because of it.
Ever since I discovered them through my journey through depression this band has easily became my favorites every song and every album surprises me with how deep and how much they relate to you.
This song is so very amazing it helps me through my worst days. And thank you so very much I needed to hear this.
Oh wow this is so my reality sometimes when a certain situation or encounter arises. So many tears right now this song hit me to my soul.
Honestly I've been going through a lot and this song really makes me cry because it it's so personal to me I just have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I feel those thoughts often your words really helps me thank you with this song combined is just incredible i can't thank you enough
So great to see people sharing and reacting to this song... I was very close to giving up but in that moment this song came on and saved me from the biggest regret they probably don't know this but citizen soldier saved my life
First time to your channel, but I am a big Citizen Soldier fan. This song always brings many tears, but your analysis and positive words mean so much. I can't thank you enough. You have a new subscriber. This song was the first Citizen Soldier song that I played for my wife and we both bawled the whole way through. I think it was the first time that she got a level of understanding of what I go through...especially the line "I've never felt worthy of love". Again, thank you for you wonderful video.
Thank you for all of this.
Awesone Video Mental Amanda... you are such an inspiration
Finally more Citizen Soldier on the channel!! Of all the people that I would hope to see more reactions to Citizen Soldier for, yours are the ones I look forward too!! And this song specifically is one that I was hoping to see eventually!!
This song means so so so much to me. To be fair, almost all of Citizen Soldiers songs hold a very special place within me, but this song specifically is one that has been the knot that holds fast and doesn't let me go, even when I myself would rather let it all slip away.
Amazing reaction!! Loved all of your input and I hope you have yourself an awesome day!!
Thank you for talking about everything and letting us know we aren’t alone❤️ Citizen Soldier have amazing songs, my favorite one to listen to when I’m in a bad place would have to be If I Surrender. It’s such an amazing song
i cannot put to words the effect this song has had on me. being able to sing those words at the end has brought me to tears multiple times. and sometimes thats all we want.
So love this band, they sing about what most of us can't say out loud, a light in the dark if you will. They get me everytime. Great reaction to another awesome song by them ❣
Wow...I literally have no words...your reaction...was how I felt when I first heard this song...CS is literally my favorite band...theyve helped me, and they continue to help...every day....I know a good amount of their songs...by heart...that's how much I love their music..
Thank you for the good videos you bring all the time, I wish I had lots of friends like you
Citizen Soldier is my number one favorite band. Love all their songs. Love what they stand for and more. Much love.
That pretty much has described my entire life. I've pushed EVERYONE away and I feel alone now. It's rough because I don't feel like anyone really understands me....hell I don't even know if I understand myself. Package delivered to the wrong address...wow that makes SO much sense to me. When you said that I was thinking to myself that you are saying the right words but I just can't hear them. I don't know how to let down my guard and let the words come through.
Very strong message from yourself at the end of Your video: You are your own knight who has to fight for yourself. Never heard words so true and clear. In the end that has been what helped me winning the fight over my depression some years ago. Noone can fight for You. You need to do it yourself. It´s hard but it pays off and it´s getting better over time. Thank You for what You´re doing here on youtube. Please continue. Greetings from Germany.
This song showed up on my feed in a really dark time for me, like no warning, it was about a year old at that point, and didn't relate to anything else I watched on here, so literally no reason for the algorithm to suggest it to me, and I can't say for certain that this song was what changed it for me, but the fact that someone felt the exact same thing I was feeling in that moment? It helped. More than I can say. I am revisiting some of this music cause it really is just so beautiful and the message is so powerful, but I think the biggest thing for me was realizing that their are people out there who feel this pain, and I'm not all alone. So thx Mental Amanda, you managed to word a lot of what I feel when I listen to this song. And to a yone out there asking these questions, yeah someone cares. Even if you don't realize it, you've had an impact on everyone you've ever met and at least one of them loves you unconditionally for it.
Thank you Amanda
Your voice is carrying the sound of everyone needing to be heard. This is the first time I've ever commented on a video. Please keep going. You give a voice to those who have none.
He wrote his first song in a mental hospital and is now a licensed therapist. My favorite songs are I'm Not Ok, and Reason to Live. Must listens!
You know a person is Worth a Thousand Words When you Stand on the Field or just Sitting at home waiting to help Someone in all I've listened to this Band for a while now and Each Song Gets Better than the last. I've Seen and been through hardships and Times where I was Put to the Test I've been a Survivor all my life bc of the Scars I Carry on the inside that Haunt Me bc of the Damage that had Been Done to Me long ago
Amanda i love you the way you help everyone you help me throw hard times awesome reachions omg this song hits home this is how i feel a lot ive tride to end my life 3 times and im so happy thay got me back couse off my kids and i never tride it again just feel like giving up everything
I'm SO happy that you are still here with us and that you are finding some level of healing 💖
@@MentalAmanda im so happy to still be here also and your videos help me
This band has helped me immensely through horrible things. I heard this song a few months after I attempted and it sends chills down my spine every time I hear it and after I heard it for the first time, I felt like I had power over my life again
Citizen Soldier's songs are some of the most moving and emotional songs i've ever listened to. Especially when going through thoughts and feelings such as these. "weight of the world" and "i am not okay" are another two incredible songs by them.
I’ve watched several different reactions to this song. This is the first time that I have actually cried! Thank you. For both your reaction and your positive affirmations. With this one video you won a new subscriber. There are so many others I’d love to see you react to. Irreplaceable, Bedroom Ceiling, This Is Your Sign, Just Be Happy, and several others
same man its hard for me to show emotion but i have alot empathy so when someone cry it goes easier
Citizen Soldier is one of the best band that I had never listened
Thank you so much! Love from France
Your reaction to this song is what's keeping me going rn. I have severe social anxiety and chronic depression. It's so hard to reach out for help, but I know I desperately need it. I almost cried when you mouthed "let me in".
Aww. 🥺 Keep going, dude. 😌
Even the smallest step is still a step. You just reached out. Now we see you, and you are not alone.
I see you. Reaching out for help can be hard, but it takes SO much pressure off once we do it!
I love how you broke this down. From someone who battles PTSD from combat, I get it. I face my demons every damn day and I know I am not alone here. However, we have GOT to start embracing an attitude of conquerors not victims. I understand we may never completely remove this from our lives. But we have to shed this cloud of victimhood. If we stay in that frame of mind, we never allow the good or light to shine through. Too many seek the attention and not the help. We all have good and bad days, but it’s time to grab depression in a chokehold and deny it power! Keep up the good work! Sometimes people need to hear that voice which understands and can articulate what they are feeling but they can’t seem to put it into words. You are that voice and you do it so well.
I agree wholeheartedly. I refuse to say that I am a 'victim' of sexual assault or abuse. I'm a survivor!
This really hits home. Quite often I ask this question. Asking it as I'm typing this. The feeling gets better after a while
Citizen Soldier’s music saved my life. Literally.
While I never did turn my thoughts of suicide into behaviours; my mental state was exceedingly close to taking that turn.
That’s when I came across their music; their song “This Is Your Sign” found me; I listened to it and I’ve been addicted to them ever since. They’ve saved my life and empowered me to continue living.
I’m so glad their music has impacted you in such a positive way. I’m happy you are still here with us.
Citizen Soldier is my favorite band because they're songs help me through my darkest days. 😭
I relate to this song in so many ways my depression constantly puts this thought in my head,. I suffer from severe depression and some days are harder than other days. But i don't ever want to give up i still have so much more to accomplish. Im getting my masters right now and i just passed my special education teacher certification. THis band is awsome and has allot of great song. THis is my first video and i like the message.
If youre stuck in the dark feeling alone,all you need is a light to see how many people are there with you.
Been in and out of therapy since I was 16. I'm almost 30 now. Went through every type of abuse you can imagine, Physical, emotional, sexua abusel by my biological father.
Lost family, friends and been abandoned by almost every single person I met, but I'm still fighting, I've found my place,I have two cats and am getting married to a wonderful kind caring beautiful woman who I would have never met if I had gone through with my plan at 18.
Hold on,there are people that love and care about you and want you to survive even if you can't see them.
@Mental Amanda thank you so much for doing this song. I hold this song very close to me personally because I struggle with depression and anxiety every single day. And this song is 1000% how i feel on the inside on those bad days. The things you said in the video about how others react around us people who have these problems is so true. For the past 15 years I have felt alone and not wanted and stuck in that rut with no way out. When I voice how I am feeling I notice more than often people are afraid to even answer or try to be there for you. It's even harder when it's family that does that to you. I have been able to pick out who the real people are in my life from the way they react. Out of those real people just recently in the past month I have found someone who means the world to me and I would do anything in my power for this person. She is now the love of my life and when I am having a bad day it's like she makes it her mission to be there for me and show me that love that I need to pull through. Depression and anxiety are no laughing matter yes those feelings are in our head but don't be those people who just sit there and say "it's all in your head" because that makes things worse for us and makes us feel even more like people don't care. Approach it differently and just show that you care by having a conversation and showing that person there are people out there that are by your side and willing to be there for you in your times of need. Once again thank you for doing a reaction to this song and keep up the great videos.
I had a guru once tell me that something being in your head is the worst place that it can be because you can't just walk away from it.
Hey girlie, new here just discovering your channel. I’ve dived into the rabbit hole of Citizen Soldier and the many times the songs saved my life by just being heard is outstanding. Current favorite is their newest song: Still Breathing. It’s amazing and gives me the same vibes as this song, specifically the ending.
I love this vid! Pls do more Citizen Soldier, all their songs are like this. They are my favorite band because of this and I would love to see your reaction the songs on their new album.
I am a 2x suicide survivor, and the songs saved my life and citizen soldier helps heal my pain I feel heard
The transfer of pain from me to others is the main reason I haven't at least tried to end it all. I feel I'm a burden on people. I would think it's just in my head if not for the fact that I've been told I'm a burden on them. So I suffer in silence. I've done things in my past that I loath myself for. And it's alienated me from the people I've hurt. I can't change the past but I try to be a help to others I see struggling. Thank you for reacting to this song. I'm not ashamed to say I cried like a baby when I first heard it. It's the very words I scream to myself everyday. If it's not too much to ask, could you react to Blue October's "Hate Me"?
The people that said that to you have their own demons and pain. When a hurt person doesn't know how to process or manage the hurt, they try to project it and transfer it to other people. You aren't a burden. You're worthy of love and patience. There are plenty of people who will understand and will see your value, myself included.
@@MentalAmanda I try not to be negative towards people like that. They're fighting their own battles just as I'm fighting mine. My depression and anxiety will be a life long battle and I've finally come to terms with that. Although I do have good days too.
Felt this song a few times especially throughout the last few years.
This is the second time you've talked me off the ledge. For that I thank you.
I've been in that position as well this song actually made me think about it and not go through with it. Having said that I stand with you in caring about people who don't see themselves worthy of anything
Thank you for introducing me to this band !
so deep and meaningful, i live it
I don't feel like anything is worth it anymore. I lost my daughter in 2020 at the age of 3 my mom last year and my dad a month ago. I got no one left.
I lost my parents in 2005 and 2007 and had a miscarriage in 2020. The loss and grief can seem insurmountable. I cycled through addiction, self-harm and suicidal ideation for SO long. But I finally got to a point of realizing that if I end it, there's nobody left to share their love with the world. So I find ways to keep their love and memory alive. I'm so sorry for all of your losses and I will tell you first hand that you never "get over" them, but you do get to a point where the grief shifts and you can start living again and not just surviving.
This band has pulled me through many a dark time in the last 2 years.
This one does hit home. I have been able to distance myself from the words now that use to start the darkness. I used to always hate the night after being divorced 3 times and staying alone because of the wrong people who were in it. I have family and kids and grandkids who love me which I think helps but I had to move away from my two daughters and the grandkids to help my mom and dad. My son lives with me which has helped but still missing the kidos and daughters. Recently my dad passed from Dementia/Altheimer's, but I can't go back to the kids yet because of my mom who is still with us. I get the feeling because my brother who has always with our parents will need help after that. Uggggg So I am trying hard to teach him to survive without mom but that's a hard one. I just have way too much on my plate for most to deal with, but I keep going. Still it nice to hear you talk which calms me and give me a great feeling. Thank you.
I remember watching this music video after I failed my attempt at suicide, and I've never felt so miserable, hopless, and outcasted in my life, and then I started thinking how can I prove people wrong because my girlfriend at the time was cheering me on, I was so blinded by my sorrow that I didn't realize what I had, thank you for reacting to this
I hope you know that she was toxic human sludge and that you are worthy of love. Glad you're still here!
Look up "If I surrender" or "Hand me Down" by Citizen Solider, its amazing, and is my feelings at the moment
This band really has kept me from suicide. They say for the most part say how I feel. Really love them
It's when I'm smiling and everyone thinks I'm finally ok, I see myself as who I once was happy, always kind, loving. I also see myself gone and that's what I want people to hold on to, not the wreck I became but the awesome person I once was
You are still that awesome person.
what i hear every day in my head. i cant sleep and because im different i get such negative words every day its all i feel
Your words remind me of two songs by Citizen Soldier. It calls "My Little Secret" and "Hand Me Down". I think you will love it when you feel always awake.
I'm different too. I used to hate myself for it. Now I am SO grateful because to be normal is to be average. Nobody wanted Cs in school. We shouldn't strive for it in life either. The only words that matter are the ones that you tell yourself. Your inner voice can be changed regardless of what people have told you or what tapes are stuck in your head!
@@MentalAmandaIm so sorry that you have to go through this and i heat you i really do I idk if you remember me telling you about my friend that ended her life a bit back but it has been so hard not to do it myself. I Just don't know how to think because the negativity is bad and so toxic that I cant escape the thoughts especially when i have been left broken mentally and physically and emotionally. Just driving along wondering how long would take if i jist let go of the wheel or drive off a bridge or just eat a bullet. Im trying do hard to make changes in my life and life style but just getting deeper and deeper in the abyss. Idk if i can take much more. We talked About losing my father AMD brother as well and the visions and heart wrenching Wont leave my mind.
@@MorganS89 Lifestyle is a great foundation, but the focus has to be on rewriting the tapes in your head that trigger these thoughts. Trauma therapy majorly helped me with a couple of my situations. Perhaps EMDR. You could access both online.
I have mental issues and all of the people I have in my life support me and the music from citizen soldier I get it I've been through a lot of these things too. I hope you live a happy life, this music truly does a lot. helps you realise that there is people out there will care for you, for just being who you truly are ^^.
GREAT SONG, DEEP MESSAGE 👌
I've been crippled for a short while, it's truly showed me a darker side of people, and a more vulnerable side of myself. I checked myself into a facility via taxi when I was alone.. but I was alone for almost a month, half of that was in a cemetery in Tulsa Oklahoma. I remember hearing voices and talking to people who weren't there. I learned I have schizophrenia which is EXTREMELY terrifying. I thought I was there in the cemetery for a couple days, I was apprehended by law enforcement.. thank God because it turned out I've been there for weeks. I was severely emaciated and on the verge of freezing to death. I was thankfully rescued and don't get me wrong at the time it was tremendously terrifying. But today I'm sooo thankful! Psychosis is unbelievably powerful and if you even suspect that you might be close, please go to someone you love. I never knew I was a missing person.. and I never knew that some people.. even considered me deceased. It was so cold. Anyways I'm sorry it's so long, but I felt like leaving this.. just in case❤️
This is a crazy story with a wonderful ending! I am so glad that you made and got the help you deserve!
I can relate to this a lot because I've depression since I was 12 and up. I still think those dark thoughts every now and then but then I think about my nephew and nieces and that helps me not go there and even now because they're old enough to remember me.
Man this song still hits home so hard😔
I'm glad you shared your pain with your watchers and even shared your past experiences and I hope you are doing well today and screw the people who hurt you. You are lucky you still have people who cared for you. Unfortunately, I don't have that but you know what I have? Myself ☺️, I care for myself
And now you have ME. And this community of amazing weirdos!
@@MentalAmanda weird is my favourite form of humour lololololol
I'm about to lose the last of my family so this question crosses my mind far more frequently than it should... I genuinely feel like giving up but you and others are helping so much
I've lost mine too. I'll be your family!
As someone who does suffer depression and has a few failed suicide attempts I just want people to know there is no cure. Many of us are able to treat it and quite the voices that tell us we don't deserve anything but those voices will always be there. But we need help. The constant mental assault we weaken the strongest defences. Thank you for posting this video. And showing others who may have someone going thru this the fight is never over. But each day we live is another victory. God bless
This is very intelligent description and overview. I don't suffer any mental illness (although my doctor disagrees and so do lots of other people) and I never been shot at with an actual weapon. ( i was physically hurt but never shot at) but I can relate to the position that is described in this video and your very good overview of it. maybe I feel this way because this is what I would say but I like the way this music video and you put it. however as far as people bringing you down because they were hurt themselves. While that does happen quite often and I caught myself doing that. Some people have it well and they are still assholes because that is the way they are. and while I want to be loved by my family and my friends and those who mean well and even those who had difficult time and are just lashing out. There are people that i don't care how they feel about me. i just want them to fear me.
their songs are always so good and meaningful :)
Amanda, I just came across your channel and this hit me so hard. I’ve been struggling for a while and have been afraid to ask for help I didn’t want to look weak or be labeled. I think it’s to late for me I’m too tired of pretending everything is ok. I think your a special person for doing what you do.
@Bob Simmons it's not too late my friend. Don't be afraid to reach out. Seeking help is a show of strength and defiance, not weakness. If it wasn't for Amanda & this community, I wouldn't have seen January out. Reach out dude, we're here for you. You're not alone.
@@damiankynoch7724 Thank you I’m gonna try but just scared of the unknown. I’m glad you made it my friend.
@Bob Simmons I'm here bud. Might take a while due to working hours and time differences, but I'm here my friend. stay safe. Love and respect
Reach out to a friend, family, spiritual leader or even a random stranger.
Your employer should have an Employee Assistance Program a lot of times you can just speak to someone on the phone and stay mostly anonymous.
Amanda is building a great community of people who care for each other, reach out to one of us.
The first step is always the hardest.
@Bob Simmons You don't have to pretend everything is okay. Sometimes facing things is what is needed. You may learn it is not as bad as you feared. You will learn you are not alone, we all feel our own pain, and we all are here to support each other. Since you reached out here, and commented, a part of you feels it is not too late. It is never too late. Most importantly, if people label you or say you are weak, they are toxic and don't deserve a place in your life. It is your life, and you deserve support and happiness in it. There are people out there who will support you. We are here for you my friend.
I would highly recommend Citizen Soldier to anyone struggling with mental health, and even people who aren't. Their songs speak to a wide range of experiences, and listening to them has been cathartic (and insightful, when it comes to other's struggles that I do not personally relate to). I've been trying to remind myself that everyone is fighting a war in their lives, even if I can't see it, and it's helped me stay patient when interacting with other people.
It's been a minute since I revisited your channel. I hope you're all doing well.
I must admit that this song got me a bit choked up. I've been having on again off again harmful thoughts but people like you are making a difference. Thank you for all you do and I hope you keep doing it for a long, long time.
If I may make a suggestion for a reaction video, ""Pull Me From The Edge" by "Like a Storm." This song hits me hard everytime I hear it and would love to hear your take on it.
Until next time, everyone be as well as you can be.
This song is a masterpiece
Amanda, You are worth fighting for. I wish I could meet you, give a hug
Aside from the Linkin Park songs, Citizen Soldier also has the ability to completely break me with their songs, especially this one, and simultaneously keep healing me back up at the same time. It's a strange but great feeling and I'll be forever grateful for tracks like Would Anyone Care, because they make me feel like.. well, like someone is there and cares about my struggles.
Thank you to you as well, for talking about the things you brought up in this video. Truly, just.. thank you.
I wish I could have given this message to my brother last year. My whole family has struggled horribly with depression and suicide, and he finally couldn't hold on. God, I miss him
I'm so sorry that he lost his battle. Would you like to tell us more about him?
this song really is a great reminder that we are not alone when it comes to depression