I think I dated my first ENFP… and the connection and emotions I felt with this person, it was so confusing to me. I felt understood, able to express myself and she just got me. I felt warm with her and the connection and how I was able to just express myself to her so easily was scary to me…. Her ideas, I loved. The way her mind works, I loved. How bubbly she is, I loved. She got my humor and all we would do is laugh together .. And she was able to get into deep and meaningful conversations… and she expressed her love how my mind worked and how I would see the world.. she found me fascinating… and it felt good to feel accepted..
True! I am an INTJ I had exactly that expierience with a man. I gave him the persionality test just for fun..without saying that i am an intj. Enfp he said..i was like "oh, thats how it goes...ok.." He read stuff about and ask me "where should i meet an intj woman when they are so rare?" I said "i am" We are in a relationship about 7 month now and we are so perfect! We live together and everything is like we where together since ever.
It has been said that the INTJ-ENFP partnership is golden because the INTJ sees the ENFP's brain, and the ENFP sees the INTJ's heart. Love ENFP's for this. 🤗
Me, an ENFP, unknowingly found an INTJ best friend in high school/college. He was amazing. Every day with him was a new challenge and adventure. I loved him and also myself(!) during that time. Eventually our season of friendship had to come to an end... Only now, almost 15 years later, am I beginning understand not only how special that was, but also WHY that was. I am so thankful for that time together.
ENFP here. Wow this is strange to me as I’m only studying MBTI about a year, but I realized my best friend from High school is INTJ and so is my best friend from college. Very similar experience to what you write in your comment. I stayed in touch with the High school friend until about 10 years ago, college friend and I are still in touch. One thing I noticed after learning about personality types is the patterns of types in my life. Best friends mostly INTJ and INFJ.
ENFP here very happily married to an INTJ! 🙂 Yes! It’s absolutely amazing how quick the connection is between these two types. We actually met online, and after 3 dates, he knew he was going to marry me whereas I was the more (I need more time) one in the relationship.😂 But he persisted, and it’s been a wonderful 10 years! We definitely have our moments, fights, etc, but he just gets me. I needed someone to ground me, and he does that. I love that he finds me intelligent (even though my thoughts can be scattered lol) because most people think our bubbliness equates to dumb which is really irritating. Like you said, my husband thinks I come up with brilliant ideas, but it’s the execution part that is my problem. Thank you for this video! It was fun to watch! I hope you will someday find a good ENFP! 🙏🏻
fellow INTJ here! I’ve always been attracted to ENFPs. They just give off such a positive vibes and they’re so nice to be around, and it did feel weird to experience their intelligence since on the surface they don’t seem like the type. They’ll always keep my hands full and retain my interest, since there’s always something random that they’re hyper-fixating on, and since I’m an INTJ with ADHD, they can combat that energy and not get burnt out by my constant rambling on my current subject of interest, not even just that, but they can rebate these things and understand despite not knowing anything on the subject 😂 They’re a lot of fun, and I really do wish I had more of them around me
As an ENFP in a relationship with an INTJ, we love your stability, yet you're still intuitive and interested in the coolest stuff. We like that you're a rock, an anchor, yet still intuitive. Our randomness seems endearing to your type, which is a surprise since I think I'm a manic stutterer but INTJs seem to love us just the same.
ENFP here. I always end up with INTJ’s. The connection seems so natural for me. You had me cracking up about ENFPs getting distracted til the next thing comes along but I’m not sure that’s really true. I work at the sane job forever, drive a car til it drops, have very long term relationships and am all about security. I suppose it’s all relative..
I definitely agree as a fellow ENFP it's not that we don't appreciate long term security, we deal with important things pretty well, it's just in smaller things that don't matter as much we can come up with ideas and just want to run with them, or be spontaneous or multitask, etc.
@@natashaqueer same lol. Enfp here. I am very committed to everyone and everything in my life. I may have shifting interest to learn or be curious about. But my relationships with people, books, movies and work are always longterm.
Okay, so about the thing with being questioned why we like something is this: (at least for me) I have a brutal fear of people judging me. That’s Fi kicking in. We don’t give a damn what the group thinks, but if a specific individual in the group is judging, that’s scary. As an ENFP, I’m super duper aware of this when talking to people, so if I want to talk to someone about why they like something, I show my own vulnerability first. That way, their more personal opinion and vulnerability comes out more naturally since they have seen me be vulnerable. SO if you know an ENFP, and want to question their values or something like music taste, show your own vulnerability in that area first as a Segway. This is tantamount, or else we will feel like it’s more of an attack than a question. That’s just me though, can any other ENFP confirm?
Aye! A fellow enfp here. And I'm exactly the same. If someone I just met asks me about music, I will instantly panic. And I'll involuntarily alt+delete my memories of the most recent stuff I heard. Even if it was actualy decent. The fear of judgement is too real.
Yes this is pretty much it, but I've learned to take a step back when im questioned in that way. Soo basically I redirect the convo for a bit and then when im comfortable I'll answer it on my own. But damn if someone did what u described I wouldn't even hesitate to answer immediately!
As an ENFP, you really hooked me into watching a 33 minute video without wanting to skip some parts or just skip the whole video. I didn't realize not till the end of this video that I've already finished it. And that's pretty rare cuz I don't really stick to a half hour long video that I don't find interesting. Btw, great video! Thank you for sharing your insights, opinions, and experiences with ENFPs. Actually I find myself cling to those people who have this sense of where they're going, like their lives are on track, the way how they do things are organized, they have this plans and to-do lists, the maturity. Because as I grow older, I find myself being self aware that despite being all this bubbly, outgoing, imaginative and whimsical person, I have to live my life outside of my head, in the real world where you have to work on things and get them done instead of just staying in your head and wishing for the world to be this and that. I'm quite indecisive, and it's honestly irritating. I'm working on that. But I just can't help it when there's a lot served in the table. I find myself attracted and interested to lots of things that it's hard to pick a career to focus on for example. Sometimes I'm like, you only have one life to live and yet there's so much in this world, so many people, their culture, ideas, places and history to explore, that you can't waste your life not going for it. So I'm thankful for my friends, some people too, who make me feel grounded again, to not float away too much and try to be more rational and logical. I apologize for a long comment but honestly this could go on forever so I'm just gonna stop here lol.
Oh no thats great, you're doing fine. I've been studying ENFPs a bit more and expanded my knowledge a bit since recording this. I hope to do an update here soon.
1:40 ... no, if an ENFP befriends any INTJ, it’s almost Never about the novelty of it... because we rarely meet people who we really enjoy talking to. Seek to grow the friendship. ENFP never forget friends. Regrettably, I’ve had to disconnect from unhealthy INTJ relationships and friendships, but I haven’t forgotten a one of them; they’re recalled fondly by heart.
Absolutely this. As an ENFP, I may be a people person, but more specifically, I am a relational people person. I can do small talk, and I am decent at it, but I do not like it. I want to get past the shallow waters and really find out what makes a person tick, find out the depths of who they are as a person. I think that, at least for me, ENFPS thrive on depth and deep talks. I also like medium talks. Just anything but small talk lol. I am good at it, but see it as just an avenue to get to the deeper discussions. I would rather sit and talk with one person and get to know them as an individual over spending time in a group. Small groups are fine too, but I like the intimacy of quality time with a person over the energy of being in a crowd. Of course, I also have fun in those moments too and know how to have a good time. I feel like while it certainly is possible to miss the person who blends in and is flying under the radar, at the same time, I tend to find myself in conversations with those types of people and the people that come across as odd or hiding or something like that. ENFPS are the least extroverted of the extrovert types and I think that is because, like you said, we seek friendships and meaningful relationships over other types of interactions. We don't really get our energy from group engagements or parties. We get our energy from individual people. I have a really close INTJ friend who I have loved getting to know. There is a lot of depth to the friendship, and while it takes time to get my friend to open up at times, it is kind of like an onion with many layers and it is very fascinating to me. Instead of having the shiny object phenomena distract me elsewhere, it is kind of like getting to know my friend is a shiny object that gets a new shine to it any time I learn something new. I also like that we kind of balance each other and bring new perspectives. For instance, my friend inspires me to have direction, motivation, and intentionality in what I do. I am still working on it and not good at implementing that yet in the vast majority of my life and the process is slow, but having this kind of friendship encourages me to be a better person and fix some of the unhealthy habits I've developed. I've already noticed some change in my life just by being friends with this person. It's really inspiring and a breath of fresh air to have that friendship.
As an ENFP, it’s so very true I get distracted easily and I’m always looking for fun new things, but yet I hold things very near and dear to me, I’ve had the same best friend since I was 6 and I’ve been writing and rewriting a novel I came up with when I was 13 (I’m 21 now) so I think it all depends on maturity for sure and what it is an ENFP really values and if they’re willing to go through with something despite difficulties. Becoming an adult and keeping myself accountable has been a real pain in the butt! 🤣
I would rather listen to a intj talk about our weaknesses. Normally it feels so much harsher coming from anyone else. It's an amazing thing to be honest! I feel like I could have a chill conversation with you. Definently an intellectual but the fact your expression doesn't change much. It doesn't smack you in the face because it doesn't add any emphasis. Just matter of fact. Thanks for sharing. I cant say I've met to many intjs in person. Take care
@@theintjperspective2958 I normally don't share my channel because it's actually a self study. I just think that as an intuitive intellectual type you may appreciate it. This is a prime example of unconventional of how a enfp learns in such an unconventional way. Also very raw and half baked production quality. Lol this is how I refine my intuition through emotion and feelings. Visual representation of an enfp intuition. I hope it provokes a rare but appreciated smile. Your type seems to appreciate that emotion genuinely provoked. Or maybe an enfp just feels more satisfaction witnessing :) ua-cam.com/video/XIrrFZWeap8/v-deo.html
The only INTJ I've had in my life that I know of was an oral surgeon I assisted and I was so drawn to him, like this intense pull to care for him, and support him. It was so weird... I've never felt that before or ever again. I know he was drawn to me too, not in a romantic way at all. Just in a mutual curiousity and silent comfortability. We both preferred the other to work with, but never indicated that to each other or to others, it could only be felt. I know he was really surprised to know I had such a deep understanding of complex concepts... Although all the other assistants saw him has brooding, a little scary and intense, I just could see his desire for order and logic and I never got in the way of that, just helped him keep that order and worked in harmony with his logic. He even let his guard down with me and joked in a way that he: didn't with others. I really liked working with him. Now I'm working with an ESTJ...omg...night and day!
@@ENFPerspectives It's tragic forreal. I've since quit working with the ESTJ and took 6 months off work because...mental health! Now I'm back to work, with an INFP boss! It's amazing! Its so comfortable and familiar since my husband is an INFP. I am so happy!
I'm an ENFP and my best friend is an INTJ. From the first moment we met it was an instant friendship. I didn't even notice at first that she was introverted since she got so excited and talkative with me. Later on I noticed how people loved to antagonize her. She said things to people they didn't like straight to their faces and I envied that so much. Not in a bad way. And she told me she loved the way I knew exactly what people were feeling, and where they we're coming from and I that I always knew the right thing to say. I haven't yet met someone else that enjoys learning about random, different things as much as I do. We got into arguments due to my flakiness and because of her manipulative nature at times but we always talked it over after. It sometimes scares me how freaking intelligent she is. Years later we're still friends, and when we call, we call for hours. Analyzing theories and the people in our lives. Just love her and wish her all the best.
As an ENFP I agree that we can be very chaotic. And in retrospection (literally only in retrospect, I don’t notice this about myself while doing it) I realise I have overwhelmed and confused a lot of people with my indecisiveness and wishful thinking. I love how you expressed weaknesses of ENFPs objectively, but again stating impersonal facts is what INTJs are good at (amongst many other things). I think I had a shot at an INTJ but I royally messed it up.😁 This video is very interesting and enriching. Thank you so much!
I'm an ENFP turbulent. I find that if someone gives me 1% energy i have the ability to recharge to 100% and give output of 110% output. We are sensitive but often have hot button core values that can trigger us to detonate like a military grenade. I especially have had issues with boundries with family who are narcissistic. Boy that isn't fun to deal with. We ENFP types are highly distract-able. Just let us get distracted if you aren't really into us just let us get distracted and we will move on. Been there done that. My wife is my favorite human. She is an INFJ-A. Been together for 15 years. I tend to when given emotional energy it tends to charge me to 150% because as it enters me it amplifies in a major way. We are often busy.
Im an INTJ and my best childhood friend was ENFP. She was often the only person who reached out even tough I was bad with people/shy/"hard to approach" (I've heard). We went on so many adventures. I didn't realize how amazing that was until she passed away. I didn't realize how good other people could be for me until someone put in the effort no questions asked. I miss her a lot.
I am an ENFP woman. I really appreciate what you said about turning a rainbow into a laser. I unconsciously look for a person who can inspire me to focus my potential and make what I offer -better. That invisible pull is so real and I have never figured out how to align myself with that intense connection, without letting it overwhelm me.
BIGGGG CONFIDENCE BOOSTER FROM THIS VIDEO, I'll have to say as an ENFP we may have our arbitrary and unorthodox ways but honestly you acknowledging the beauty in our intellect makes me want to convey my huge gratitude towards you. I LOVE INTJ's they are very aloof with their Ni dom but because we share similar Fi-Te axis and Te-Fi axis, discussions and conversations come to a common ground a lot as our cognitive judgment and methodologies are very familiar to each other. The distinct part is the perception as Ne is very fragmented and sporadic and I am more than happy to converse about my unconventional views with an INTJ and take their breath away as they try to investigate predictable pattern in me - WHICH THEY WILL HAVE A HARD TIME. INTJ's oblivious to their Se inferior is very cute to me as well but I understand that mean to captivate the truest aspect of reality (but internally) they miss sometimes the tangible depictions of where there lies flaws and discrepancies in their "masterful plans". All in all I am really impressed with your review as it's very constructive and in corporates things which I have intrinsically evaluated within myself. Love it!!!
I'm not sure whether all enfps mature in the same manner, but once I reached 30, I'd replaced flaky with reliable, and in a sense developed my mini istj. Im now one of the most reliable and loyal people I know. Not only did that change, but I find I'm more ambiverted these days, as you rightly said, Ive learnt to turn extravertion on and off. I think anyone generally learns to integrate their introverted and extraverted functions in such a manner that they appear more ambiverted with maturity. But I may be wrong in thinking that it might apply to all.
I was going to say the same thing. I’m an 18yo enfp and even though it’s not a lot, I’m learning more and more how to work with my own brain to be more reliable and productive. I’ve become a lot better at being punctual and caught up with deadlines. :)
@@bebelmatson life seemed more fun as a young enfp with ne on blast and no si or fi holding it back. But now as a mature enfp, it's steady with bursts of ne. It's alot more stable. Long lasting connections. Fewer and deeper connections. More go getter when needed (developed te).
ENFP here, and I would consider myself a “matured” ENFP in the sense that a lot of failings or pitfalls of an ENFP are issues I definitely used to battle on the daily, but growing up and maturing, I honed in my Te/Si more and started to really figure out a structure and plan of attack that worked for me to help guide my intuition and attention to a milder scope of vision, and these days I’m also far more diligent about sticking to goals and prioritizing items for longer term success and wellbeing over being so distracted every which way. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments where I get caught up in seeing through an idealized version of the world vs reality, and my brain DOES still wander in thought a lot, but it’s amazing what just a bit of structure, self reflection, and placing more emphasis on delayed gratification can do for an ENFP. Also, as far as the flakiness issue a lot of ENFPs have, as part of my maturation, I also realized the simple fact that time, structure, and planning, while maybe only a secondary or tertiary issue for me, is sometimes a priority for others, and to follow one of my core follows diligently, treat others as you wish to be treated, this extends to respecting others viewpoints as you wish they respect yours. So long story short, I do still tend to make loose plans and can find it hard to give any sort of concrete commitments, but I will in the very least, give a heads up to others involved, if I’m not going to follow through or if I’m running late or any other modification needs to be made, to allow THEM to the time and space to also readjust if needed.
Yea working on our weaker sides is very challenging but very rewarding. As an INTJ Ive been working on handling emotions better. Its hard for me but I still try.
@@theintjperspective2958bro ur just not an intj. Sorry. If facts is everything to you try researching estps. You're great bro and ur an estp. 🙃 Try finding estj, motivation and inspiration will never be as amusing with anyone else. You'll respect them. Bro the reason why u question everything and don't really believe in everything because you have ti parent.
I'm an ENFP married to an INTJ. The connection is natural but not effortless. I would say that INTJs are not the easiest people to be with and ENFPs are not the simplest of people. It takes a lot of compromise and learning on how to become better partners. But it does help to have intuition as the dominant function in having easier communication.
This was a fascinating look into the INTJ perspective. I have never come across INTJs irl. Never sought them out either, because it felt like romanticizing an idea of something. Things are very rarely so ideal irl. But the more you went on, the more I could almost understand why? An ENFP-INTJ relationship could work. It's strange to feel so known. I don't fall under the 'very well-liked by everyone' ENFP stereotype, but I do have that entire "give, give give x100" thing to me and it definitely leads to friendships eventually turning into unequal relationships where I feel neglected. Like you said, you give 10% and I beam back 100% and that's not always a good thing, personally speaking, when it's almost a force of habit. Not everyone should be given back a 100%. It's hilarious but it's always my NT friends who recognize that side a lot more clearly than any NF friend I've ever had and always scold me about it. Ended up laughing when you said the one way to dodge ENFPs would be to stand really still and not do anything and they'd be distracted by the next new thing. Almost affronted any intuitive type would dodge our notice like that loool. Y'all better keep that opossum act up all the time, we are quick to discard old preconceptions about people and give them chances again. Just kidding though, not all people from a type are made the same and I can see why you'd be wary of some of us. Not all chaos is good. I've heard INTJ-ENFP relationships tend to be a lot more wonderful and "golden" if both people are a bit older. Younger pairs seem to be a whole can of yikes tbh. Thank you for such a positive and structured outlook on things, it really did help! It's not that the bond is very unique, it's that it takes less work to get there with INxJs. I hope to meet one of you and maybe come out with a friendship by the end of it. But good lord, 1 in 50 odds??? brb looking into how far humanity has gotten with the cloning technology for my ENxP brethren :(
Yea thats great you were able to enjoy, and you bring up some good points. I've been thinking about making the next video about better being able to spot INTJ irl. Thanks for the feedback.
I was scared since i did this once and chased one in the middle of a convo with my friend, he still till this day tells this story to my other friends...
As an ENFP I’ve always been a bit skeptical about the INTJ-ENFP relationship. In my life, I blame my sensitivity and people pleasing tendencies for sometimes overlooking those who don’t immediately give me “I like you” feedback. But the way you speak about this topic has made me feel understood in a new way. I feel as though you can relate to my general experience, and give feedback on blind spots that I actually care to improve on. Often times when I receive criticism I don’t immediately accept it because I don’t feel as though it’s pushing me to improve in the way that I want to grow. Your insight is helping me see where exactly ENFPs and INTJs are aligned and why it’s so beneficial. It’s almost like personalized advice that does not waste my energy by making me decide if it’s important to me or not, like targeted advertising that I intuitively WANT to accept. There’s immense appeal there and your video has helped me appreciate that. Of course, I think both types can learn to work on their blind spots and grow without the others’ help, but I really learned something about how people want to be understood from your video. Maybe one day I’ll finally run into an INTJ and experience what this is about for myself! Thanks for sharing :)
Thats wonderful, and I feel the same way about ENFPs. They illuminate things that I've never even considered. And I've gone from expecting to scorn those types, to welcoming them. I'm glad this video has helped :)
It'd be pretty cool and informative if you did a video on how to find INTJ's. That's definitely something I would be interested in watching! I also appreciate the casualness of this video, it feels like a long chat with a friend. :)
Great commentary! Nailed it! I have experienced a relationship with an INTJ but neither of us was mature enough to foster that intense connection. Interesting that you commented on all of the things we wish we were seen for such as our intelligence, maybe that's why we adore the INTJ perspective so much. They "see" us, and vice versa.
As an ENFP, my closest friend and classmate is an INTJ, who holds the distinction of being my very first friend in Germany. I greatly admire his intelligence and unique perspective on the world. Recently, I've been experiencing a growing attraction towards him, prompting me to contemplate confessing my feelings. With courage, I penned my emotions into a heartfelt confession and shared it with him. However, his response to maintain our friendship left me feeling disappointed, as I had hoped for something more. Surprisingly, though, he then took the initiative and asked me out, which has left me feeling perplexed about his intentions. Now, I question whether he wants to explore a deeper connection or if he simply wishes to continue our friendship without any changes😂
Be patient with him, INTJs are not great at relationships. We can move slow and be hard to understand. We are probably so hard to understand because we don't understand our emotions ourselves.
8:52 this is because of ENFP's teritary Te and parent Fi. We don't let Te to be vocal about the things we don't accept, not our standards etc, but if we're in a more conscious state the Te will get out and tell them. This can be good initially bcs we don't want to judge ppl quickly we wanna know WHY are they like that first and accept them see where that goes, the con u alr stated so that's that. Maturing teritary function is key
Your video gives me a new perspective about ENFPs. Very interesting. And yeah, there are many factors to consider when it’s about connection and happiness. Thanks for sharing!
I think it's true that ENFP's make a lot of acquaintances, and we reach out to people in public, on the bus, and connect with people. We are gatherers of experiences, and viewpoints, and love to hear new ideas, or opinions. But we tend to develop very few close friends. I don't think it's because we are flaky though, we can be actually kind of shy, and after we have a great discussion, we develop a fear of not being able to duplicate that same feeling, and so we may avoid people for that reason out of fear. We do have broad interests and are very curious people and so it's easy to connect, but we are afraid of looking stupid, and so we also want to leave people with a good impression, and leave it at that. We aren't like the NT types, and we speak quickly our ideas, only to realise a better idea, and so it appears as if our logic is all over the place, but we actually externalise our thought process, it's the raw data, so in that process you see how we arrive at conclusions in a very different way from NT. We are very gregarious, but that is just a test to see if the other person is equally considerate. What we are searching for is people who reciprocate and will look out for us, not in the exact same way, but in a way that shows we are being understood. INTJ's in my experience understand this dynamic and so I personally treasure my INTJ friendships. I usually respond best when friends reach out to me. I seem super social, but when I'm not out and about, I can go to some dark places, and I'm usually just glad someone is calling me. I have learned to warn people who cross my personal boundaries, at least twice or three time before I explode, but I've learned to follow that explosive anger with a statement like "that's what I would say if I was really mad, but I'm not!", just pretending. Ha ha. But your assessment is fair. To be honest, other NF types don't seem as intellectual, INFJ seems to believe conspiracy theories and are out of touch, and ENFJ are good at building people up, but they do want to shape you into their vision. INFP's no real data to comment on. I've been friends with an INTJ female for twenty years. We can talk for 4 hours on the phone without feeling bored, and we are always debating ideas and I really consider her my best friend, but our age difference, and interests are quite different. Heck, I'm a liberal country boy with an open mind, doesn't believe in Jesus, who wants grow veggies, play guitar, practice yoga, and discuss geopolitics, so I agree, my chances of finding a compatible INTJ female is like next to zero. I have an INTP friend who asked me what I like about my INTJ friend, I told him, "some people show they care by folding clothes for their significant other. She folds my thoughts. She remembers what I forget about myself. She's my external hard-drive and she always is there for me. I never understood why INTJ are so ignored, it's a shame, some of the best people.
This could not be more accurate!! The analysis of ENFP motivations and the synopsis of other NF types. I think the INFPs are intelligent, they just don't have the intensity ENFPs do. They don't hunger for an answer the way we do, so in turn they don't have to come across as much information or wonder about the connections they may make.
The last sentence really got me. The whole comment is a fluffy ball of sweet cuteness, it exhale care and appreciation towards your friend, anyone could tell how much you cheerish her ✨ I think INTJs get cut off and not noticed rather than ignored. The thing is, if we want, we blend in with the background becoming just a grey shadow among others, and most of us generally want this (expecially if there are issues of any kind in the mix such as depression or anxiety..). Most of the time - if not all the time - we get labeled as "the weird kid" and our questions and likes may be brushed off as just another weird thing of ours. The world can be very lonely and extremely judging which is ironic for us since we are generally extremely open minded. Nowdays common behaviour when it comes to interacting or some dynamics in a relationship of any sorta with another person may be scary for us, scary and conxerning even (that manipulation or retortion that may harm someone's life in many way.. we have plently of examples just by doing a quick research on the internet). One more reason to shy away from social situations. Btw. There may be INTJs tha can appreciate your way of life and mindset, I am almost certain of this so don't give up? I guess. lol Have a nice day pal!
As an INTJ, I don't think I've ever had a positive interaction with ENFPs before, but I keep seeing that this might just be my independent experiences. A lot of the ones I've met have lacked a lot of direction, and while I too like thinking about different ideas, I really enjoy having a specific goal or intended outcome of a situation. They've also usually been really difficult to have constructive discussions with because of the "building up" you also mentioned, so when I'm trying to put everything on the table and come up with a clear and concise plan of action, they don't actually contribute in setting boundaries. Of course, just my own experiences, but I struggle a LOT with F types and emotional types in any way.
Well maturity play a big factor but a large part of the appeal is that they are so different than us yet we get along so well. This means you have to be a little more at peace at accepting people with their own flaws and be less critical of them.
Man i can listen to u forever..like the way u speak. Thats what i love intjs n infjs like ur intelligence and the way ur mind works is just 🥰. Thats one of many reasons why i love infjs n intjs - Enfp
8:30 we aren't really holding any malice *in* (generally speaking). We give people lots of passes, because everyone can have a bad day now and then. When those days become patterns, that is when the so called Te "b-slap" occurs.
ENFP here, and I already find you super interesting would def probably gravitate towards you or if we happened to be around each other for prolonged periods of time there would probably be one deep convo and Id be hooked lol even if it was just friendship wise, I do not think its rubbish, I just think you've had a few bad apples and the logical part of you is truly turned off for now lol
I'm am enfp and if someone talked about a topic I didn't know I'd love to get a book from them or something and read about it and talk with them about their opinions on it and ask questions about things I don't understand, I think lots of enfps like to learn about stuff that others are super interested in to kind of see from their view why it's interesting and it's fun too.
I love feedback that just tells you straight and not just "you suck" so thank you for the information it helps enfps like me to be more aware of what we need to work on. :)
Enfp here. I thoroughly appreciated the criticism. I like a dose of realism so I can work on my flaws. P. S and this is ironic. My mother is an intj, and she's the most delusional person I know. She jumped into the wrong conclusion, and 20 odd years and still can't persuade her otherwise. Her error in judgement was life changing for not only herself but for the family I once had. I put it down to ni, and the stubbornness of the function once it decides on something. I do however understand what you mean. I have an infp partner and he can be pretty delusional and reach wrong conclusions. To be honest, I think infps might be harder to convince otherwise as they aren't typically open with their thoughts and are busy fabricating things in their heads. I think my advice to infps would be, fact check. Express crutial thoughts and allow for outside feedback so you can differentiate that which is true from false.
Wow this is one of the first times i've seen a video on ENFP's that is this thoughtful and in-depth! I am an ENFP myself. I agreed with pretty much everything you said, however there were just a few points you brought up which I disagreed on, like ENFP's being so distracted that we'll overlook INTJ's, and the part about us being like dogs who see squirrels. I don't agree with that as much. I think it appears that we are ADHD outwardly, but we are also very attentive and do notice nuances a lot of people may miss. Also, your point about ENFP's being flaky. I understand why you would say this, but instead I think a better way to describe it, without the judgmental undertone, would be that we are elusive. Lol. I hate when people call me flaky when they invite me somewhere and I don't want to commit to it. And it makes it so hard to express that without offending someone, because it is not personal. It almost feels confrontational the way people ask to spend time with me. And to be honest, I am a bit sick of it because people shouldn't feel that they are entitled to my time in this way, and should be more understanding/perceptive of my need for solitude. I think this especially holds true for unhealthy ENFPs, and truly, you never know what someone may battling inside their own mind. This is partially why I think ENFPs are so understanding and empathetic, because we tend to struggle immensely with our own inner demons. Also, I think people expect us extroverts to be ready to party whenever, and take it personally if we aren't readily available, and then resort to calling us flaky, which hurts because it feels like people dont take time to try and understand where we're coming from deeper than that. -- being misunderstood is so frustrating!! Personally, I am like this because I never know how im going to feel day-to-day and the way I feel dictates how I act. Since I dominantly lead with my emotions in social settings, it can be so hard interact with people when im feeling down, and almost impossible to muster the desire to want to see people that day. We are definitely more spontaneous this way but contrary to popular belief, we need A LOT of downtime to recharge our batteries and be up and running for another social situation. When we do get out its great. But the other 90% of the time, we're recharging. During "recharge time" we're reconciling the contradictions of the world around us, and the discrepancies between our ideals and reality. We are deep thinkers and very reflective folk. But this side of us does take a large toll on any social energy reserve. I dont know if youre familiar with Enneagram, but I am a 4w3, which may also explain my introverted and melancholic attitudes. Anyways, Sorry if this sounded rant-y, I really did enjoy this video a lot and I thought you had many fresh perspectives on ENFP's that I haven't heard before. And I found it very touching. Thank you for making a video about us, :)
Well, understand that everyone, when compared to, an INTJ is flakey and "ADHD". But I'm glad you enjoyed it. I recently did an in depth dive into ENFPs and why they like INTJs by the way ;)
That supposed "flakiness" in ENFP's is when we realise we MUST withdraw and the main reason I have noticed in myself and other ENFP's is because we instinctively know we will be no good to anyone at the time. Sure, we could turn up, but we will not be who we truly want to be. You mentioned the explosive rage that ENFP's can display, and that is a big reason why sometimes we just don't show up. We spend SO much time "showing up", just wanting to give that 110% (or judging from your bookcase, "love you 3000" ). A wise ENFP KNOWS this, and it's why we are often called the most introverted of the extroverted types. When our "dark side" comes out, we HATE it in ourselves because it feels so unnatural, and if we hate it ourselves, why would we want to put anyone else through it??
@@theintjperspective2958 It's not leeway we need, it's the understanding that we feel..... essentially broken. (which is when you get the rage) We need what we give out to be given back to us. I KNOW it is harder for the other personality types, but we don't need that much, 1% of the extra 10% we give sometimes?
Yes that is something Ive noticed about ENFPs. That give and take ratio. Jung talked about that a bit, how ENxx types are always searching, basically externalizing their search for self. Its only a mater of time before they burn out and need to look inward a bit. It part of the pairing of Extroversion with Intuition a kind of cycle of looking outward then inward over and over again. I believe the xxxP types this is more so.
@@Mdias8923 That's because we live in the "what if", not the "what is". The "what is" is boring, and mundane, and often we can find it extremely stupid to simply just follow. I'm not sure if we truly do care about giving 110% all the time, I find it more that we care more if we don't get a little bit more than 100% back, we feel we have done something wrong. For some it's appreciation and for some, it is freedom (especially at work for example). My dark side comes out when I feel underappreciated, and it can come out in explosive bursts (similar to your comment that WE are the ones to blame) You are not the one to blame and sometimes that is a hard thing for ENFP's to actually accept. EDIT: Never forget, as an ENFP, life may come "as it is", it's OUR role to re-engineer it to be what it COULD be. We need others to ground our dreams (looking at you INTJ's!! ) It's another reason why we get called "flighty" or "commitment-phobic", we initiate, that is our role, completion......... yeah, not always our strong suit. We get so wrapped up in our dreams of what if, and that is not a failure, it's just the way we think. Having said that, In that first week, or month, or year, how often do you simply get stuff done beyond anyone's expectations? We complete when we are engaged, and keeping us engaged is NOT our problem.
I would cry tears of joy if that happened. INTJs doing that kind of stuff activates my acts of service so hard 🥲😭 It especially feels great when it’s an area where the ENFP struggles, despite our best intentions.
ENFP here, thanks for the feedbacks and this video. I think I understand why INTJ-ENFP relationship helps each other. But i also believe that as we all mature we can have relationship with any type. My husband is an ENFJ, i learned a lot from him because he is decisive in achieving goals and making anything. But he also understand my feeling and intuitively help me when i feel uncomfortable in any social gatherings or when someone upset me. But i have an INFJ friends and in my experience, i always listen to what she talks about, im trying to understand her, i gave her advice on her relationship but INFJ is stubborn with their own core values and feeling. They are loyal but loyal to a point of hurting themselves and to a wrong guy. So i ended up from advising to being burn out and call her out from her mess. Tried to encourage her to open up for possibility of having a lover that actually CAN love her back and wants to commit to her(marriage). So yes i had to be from this understanding and accepting, to straightforward and harsh that time. But still i feel bad after having said what needed to. One thing my ENFJ husband taught me is to really think about our intention. Yes if we think of long term goals we will continue doing it day and night. We (ENFP) need to have a locus of control which is our intention. For example i found it easier now to stick to my workout and exercise when i have the right intention. Before this if i think about having a slim body because i want to look good, then eventually it doesn't happen. Because i was doing it for someone else(outward to inward). I might gain more. So instead i think about staying healthy when i got old, loving myself my body, avoiding health issues, i found that i stick to the workout for longer period. Now it's almost 1 year i have keep exercising. But something i dont like about my ENFJ husband is he always said that my dream is ridiculous and not something that is practical for me to survive. But i just dont want to give up hope, because when im passionate about something i go after it 100%. I love theatre and also teaching. So im currently working on both. He prefers me to focus on teaching because he sees that i am making money for it. But at the same time I want to act, write and direct theatre. So yuppp been doing both things at the same time now. Okay going back to your video, thanks again, i understand and now still struggling to stay focus and working on something. Im not sure i have met an INTJ. But i really looking forward to. I would really like to have INTJ friend. Maybe this would sound improper. Can you be my friend? 😃
Sure I can be your friend. I plan on making some more videos when I get the chance but a lot of what you said makes sense. I think ENFPs pair great with a lot of people but what they lack most is clear focus, sometimes that comes from partners and friends, some times it can be learned.
You are so correct about letting things go until you finally blow up. I have lots of trouble with this and am learning. I think it’s expecting others to accept people and things as you do and finding out they don’t. Thank you for this video.
(ENFP) When someone asks me why I like something my immediate response is to share it with them! I'm not a, "just because" kind of person, I need proper explanations, so when someone asks me a question then I feel the need to properly explain to them. (If you didn't wanna know then you shouldn't have asked. 🤨) "Why do you like K-Pop?" Here's at least 3 groups I like, a bit of history on the entire industry, and what my personal experience was to get to where I am now! ✨😄✨ Oh, you don't like K-Pop? Well, to each their own. 🤷 You think it sucks? Triggered. ⬅️ With me you get what you give. You want to have an adult conversation? I'm down as fuck! You want to needlessly criticize the things I like without any logical backing to your statement? You now have that emotional time bomb people don't like.
As a fellow ENFP, this 100%! And I feel like that's because there is something about someone asking 'Why...?'. Almost whatever follows it becomes some sort of complicated cave I need to explore, whether I am exploring it for the person I'm talking to or figuring it out for myself for the first time or finding a new passageway in the labyrinth that I thought I knew so well before. 'Why' has so much potential for interest. And so it's annoying to me that I've just done a massive mission, and I thought the person I'm talking to was right there with me, but come to find out that they were never there and just stayed at the surface.
ENFP here! 🥰 Thank you for this. All true. Alot of people misunderstood or misjudged me because of my friendly outgoing nature. But once they get to know me, they get shocked of how deep and observant I am. 😆
Thank you for this. It’s been refreshing to hear your thoughts about my personality type. Eye opening really. Listening to you brought up memories of my past relationships with a new understanding of my part in the continuation of some and the ending of others. I realize this is an old video, so I’m going to watch some more of your content. But I wanted to thank you!
@@theintjperspective2958 it was balanced and thoughtful. You showed vulnerability and logic. No matter your personality type, this is a great example of courage and leadership. Good luck with whatever your goals are! I have do doubt you’ll achieve them!
This is insightful. I have enjoyed friendships with both ENFPs and INTJs. I am an INFP also in my 40s. When I look back on my life, there is one ENFP and one INTJ (they did not know each other) who I really regret not staying connected with. Most people come and go, but both of these types had levels of depth and originality of thought that I now treasure and wish I had more of in my life. One critique for INTJs: I felt pre-judged by my INTJ friend. While I respected his mind and asked lots of questions (because I love learning), I did not feel the same curiosity and respect back. He was interested in me but seemed to subtly want to maintain dominance. Maybe it was a cultural/gender thing. Or maybe it was my fault for being reserved and not wanting to brag about myself to prove my intelligence or accomplishments. But if he had shown more curiosity and openness, I think he would have been surprised. ENFPs, on the other hand, are much more positive/gentle in their treatment of new people, and especially sensitive people.
Dude, I just find it funny that I’m watching your video right after asking my wife to go into the store and pick up The Federalist Red Blend, lol... def not coincidence. I’m an ENFP, btw.
I’m an ENTJ (INTJs cousin we have the exact same functions just different order) who dated an ENFP for a very long time and have had many ENFP friends. I will say you guys are EXTREMELY likeable. I have Ni as my second function so I love your intuitive nature. You guys have good ideas too and it’s very fun to go on these abstract mental adventures with you guys. I do have some constructive criticism to give, (assuming you’re an ENFP) so maybe you can work on this. As a dominant Te user, logic is my way of life (same with INTJs btw). My problem with the ENFP is it’s not possible to reason with logic. You guys just don’t respond to it no matter how hard I try to break it down. You guys will just do whatever the hell you feel like doing, and then you find yourself at 35 years old and still having done nothing with your lives (sorry if that’s a rude wake up call). The problem is you don’t listen to peoples advice no matter how much sense it makes. You’re more concerned with having fun and socializing that you avoid taking on any responsibility or boring tasks that bring you closer to your goals. Fortunately you’re very likable so you can pretty much just get other people to help you with the hard stuff, but how far can you really go if you never feel like taking on the workload? Of course it’s uncomfortable working on the process and I understand that being a low Se user definitely doesn’t make it easier for you, but you NEED to focus and work on that. Your functions are like a muscle and they will become stronger the more you use them. There’s much more to life then just shooting the shit with your friends and wasting all your time accomplishing nothing. Pick out a ONE goal, and work on it RELENTLESSLY. I know you guys have a new goal every week but really try to pick the most important one (buying a house, building a business, finishing school, learning a language, starting a UA-cam channel, etc). Quit chasing after fun all the time and go accomplish at least one thing and I promise you will feel so proud of yourself. You can start with working 10 minutes a day on your goal and slowly work your way up. The key is to be CONSISTENT and to do it every. Single. Day. With no excuses like oh I’m hungover, or oh I have to go to a party soon, or oh I actually my dog needs a bath. Just focus on your goal, and work until you’ve reached it. Quit fucking around.
Well as an INTJ I can't vouch for the ENFPs out there but I feel with enough maturity even ENFPs can do a lot of what your saying here ... ... I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You say it works till it doesn't just faster than with other types. Maybe from your ENFP's perspective it worked till it didn't just lasted longer than with other types... ENFP by the way and you got my attention for a whole of what you had to say just by speeding it up a notch or two😅 And you called on all my flawes (I already have been aware of the perks of being me). So for bringing me back down to the ground I say: Very well played, thank you🤝
Yea it was one ENFP that I fell for that got me looking into this connection in the first place. I mean I can see it really working great. But I can also see going really badly. Lets just say I've never had it work well with an ENFP just yet, but I can believe it being a great fit.
22:00 - I've done this with an ESFP friend of mine and she was really impressed and appreciated that I could tell she was having a bad day just from her voice
I think that overall the theoretical ideal relationships for the MBTI personalities are just that...ideal. Personally I feel like INFPs are my personal favorites. My husband is this type and he and I get along so very well. We just really lack structure hahaha, and actually feed off of each other's chaos in a negative way haha. The ENFP is forced to provide it structure (this has happened with at least 3 INFPs in my life, my husband and my 2 friends) and that's not a role that we are good at at all. We actually end up stressed out in that role. But I love it, wouldn't change it.
I LOVE the comparison to fire in an engine! Fire on its own will cause havoc and is not able to be harnessed. Conversely, an engine with no fuel is just a statue, fixed in a moment in time. Together, through compelling symbiosis, an INTJ & ENFP make the perfect counterparts in life by providing the exact counterbalance needed to help each part thrive - the INTJ is the structure and direction to the ENFP’s motivation and purpose. I feel like the Heart and Brain (Awkward Yeti) comics by Nick Seluk, are the perfect example of the INTJ/ENFP dynamic (both externally and internally). Both types have a clear logic and feeling side internally, but their first choice differs. Still, they sense a sameness with one another that helps them to recognize a comrade; the other represents our repressed natures unchecked. One of my exes (who is still a close friend of mine), relates ENFP on their own to an untethered helium balloon and the INTJ acts as the string to help keep them from floating away. (ENFP-A, who has known, dated, and befriended several INTJs of both genders. I always have the softest spot for INTJs and I love watching their unique mind and learning from their expertise. As an artist/creative with ADHD, INTJs are an invaluable friend to have on my team. Hopefully, they feel similarly about my enthusiasm and unconditional love & support 😊).
Whimsical, emotional and intelligent willing to jump from one fun adventure to the next And we Love people. Yep Just add a Good cause or two to our palates And u have the ENFP
ENFP here, she felt the pull as well. I can sense an INTJ in a room. I feel their presence like a gravitational pull. They scare me because it feels like falling in the way you described, I try to avoid them because I know our connection will be intense and it terrifies me. I found one when I was in SF, I could instantly tell by how he made me feel. I felt like we had already met but I’m not American so it’s impossible. He was the most interesting person at the party, I had to avoid speaking to him because he felt like black hole that would suck me in. I regret it. ENFPs are amazing but too many are stuck in their heads, they are like children looking for a sense of purpose. They have been used and abused by the world and gaslight into thinking they’re not good enough. An ENFP that knows their value and turns their talent into a thing of power, that’s someone that will achieve amazing things. I hope all my fellow ENFPs start recognizing this, the world needs more of us. I also hope I find another INTJ
After some work I'm getting better at spotting ENFPs, I'm getting to where I can spot them before they spot me lol. But yea it's an interesting dynamic that very puzzled by.
The first criticism is so true. I smacked a former colleague on the face when I couldn't take it anymore because she'd been physically bullying me for MONTHS. I already called her out but she didn't take me seriously
Maybe someday I will ;) But N types are all about deep connections and big ideas. Though INTJs have trouble with their emotions and this person will undouble be puzzled by yours because your introverted as well. Luckily you're pretty open minded so it should be great for both of you.
33:18 Are you kidding me?! I love watching this! I’ve actually googled several times this exact keyword phrase hoping to find this! I’ve always been very attracted to you all adorable nerds 🤓 and sometimes wish I would open an introvert adoption agency! (J/k but low key kind of interested in how that idea would play out). But *sigh* yes, I know we are an absolute lot. I exhaust myself. There’s something so comforting about your steadfastness yet openness at the same time.
Struggling and currently depressed enfp is here. I'm now interested in different perspectives, how much other personalities see the world and react to things, this kind of observation really attracts me as I'm trying to write stories and have to understand deeply how different types of people think, communicate and stuff. And you helped me a lot, thank you! Speaking of myself, I really need someone to help me in organizing and planning especially when I'm not in a good state with my bipolar disorder. I have a tendency to avoid things that disturb me but have to be done yet. It's not healthy at all. I understand that I have to learn to deal with it myself, but sometimes it's too hard and i feel like I need that rational thinking from another person, from intj probably. Because as you said you're not only can organize things but also have that absolutely fascinating ability in reading our enfp mood. You have this magical power to see through all this defensive bubbling and always smiling stuff that i as enfp usually have and it's great, it amazes me. Maybe I said too much here and shared some things that I'd never said outloud, but yeah.. it is what it is. And I'm very grateful that you gave such possibly, i really am. Thank you so much for this video, dkw but now I'm feeling a bit better and can do some things from my (avoid-because-it's-too-scary) list. With much love from this enfp💜
Thats great, I love what you had to say. I mean all types have their own ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses. But INTJs and ENFPs really do seem to compliment each other really well. But yea, I think INTJs are pretty good at reading ENFPs, you guys tend to give off a lot of signals. And we tend to not be intimidated by the randomness like others might. I hope you find someone to help bring you calmness and a sense of being centered in your life :)
As an INTJ I agree on the ENFP's breadth of intelligence remark. While their intelligence at times isn't as deep, their breadth of their interests I find appealing. They listen intently and I their level of care is obvious and I find that attractive. I can never recall being in an argument with an ENFP.
Think the best way to summarize is that both ENFP and INT/FJ types want to conquer themselves. We bond over the struggle and the war and come out looking the same but the ride along is entirely different. I'm all bells and whistles and diva energy and she's all cool and calm and collected. Same struggle different image.
Well, I am ENFP and Single. I have been for years and years. There are reasons for this. One is, I bond for life with the right person, and not for a fleeting fling. And second, just some statements that have to do with a sad awareness and knowing more than just this life provides for. Which means I dont‘t let LOVE in easily, unless it’s friendship, but even then … I am aware of the Intentions of others who are taking too much for themselve without being honest and true. At the same time I keep being my spontaneous self; open to everyone I meet, eventhough I still keep my purity close to my chest as I know how judgemental people usually are. If you wonder; I am ENFP, but a very mature and aware one, who knows all the quircks and misfortunes in the characters of ENFP‘s. For people who believe in (know) past lives; I have been ENFP in one key past life, and have to struggle through all the ENFP heartships that I went through in that lifetime. It was HELL, but I fight to solve a personal mystery having to do with my soulmate who was/is an INTJ/INFJ. One result of being THIS aware is that I am seeing through superficial layers of people of all types and what they put up front ….and they usually can’t stand it! So friendship is also quite difficult to form unless the other person is also very aware. In general I have been used and abused by people taking advantage of my pure hearted nature in my past life, but also in this one. I‘ve noticed that usually people don’t even care about pure hearts, and their truths, just as long as their’s is been provided for. Most people are all about their own needs and care less about the needs of others, no matter what personality type they are. I don‘t state I would know it all, as my personal experiences are mine alone and no one should degrade that. True understanding and bonding is a rare thing and beautiful when found. Don‘t assume that you know a thing about true bonding and connection when you‘ve never experienced that…..❤
Hot button topics yes!!!! Great video! Thanks for telling the truth on the positive and negative! Great insight! Also The Federalist wine is so good haha
Wow, spot on. I am an INTJ T female and my boyfriend is an ENFP A. So many things rang true. So many examples you used are things that I have witnessed with us as well. Unreal. Wonderful job gathering all your info. , giving great examples and seeing things from both sides and putting it all together !! : )
@@theintjperspective2958 I think what she means by astral is perhaps a "greater power " an unexplainable non scientific. Or maybe not necessarily a greater power but something bigger
Im an ENFP and got a friend who is INTJ But, to be honest .. my wife is INFP and i feel that is the best match ever. We understand each other and talk the same language and same value. Just the different is the energy type. She helps me cooldown and waves me into land when i go to much off. And i help her get of her head and go more out and explore. Very many good ENFP points here, but when u have matured and healed the negative things u said doesnt really add up as true... As i dont hold things inside, for me my interval harmony is more important than any thing. So if a person is going off i will tackle that situation right away or i will remove myself from him/her. But, if moving isnt an option i will take my fire and let them know ...
Hi! ENFP. I’m a solitude and selective kind of soul. THANK YOU for your videos, I enjoyed the in-depth videos! agree about the rubbish stuff and the maturity for relationships. I’m grateful to have met some INTJs (to be specific, not to brag: 2 males & 4 females) they all have their own unique vibe, inner world, and so much that I can’t type them all. One of them is the anxious but talkative type (I’m assuming still a work in progress? Idk ), the other got the goal targets but delays till situation progress, and the rest are more private and remain respectful…. Storytelling: I’m still surprised that one of them swung opened the door like it’s their territorial room without knocking when I was in bed. In my head, “OHHH Hi-Why no knocking? I’m not well dressed or pretty and we’ve only met a few time so ummm yes?” That INTJ said something and I could only reply, “Okay.” With the thought of why this person barge in without knowing me well? Unless it was really important but, the room is my territory dang it. 😅 Tell me what you think please!
ENFP here. Watched the whole video. I've dated an INTJ - I loved the intellectual connection between me and the INTJ. I absolutely agree that the longevity of the relationship is based off the levels of health and maturity of each person. At 39, I feel I have developed more of my "Thinking" aspect and Im not as flakey. I also wonder if enneagram #'s/wings/triads make a difference when talking compatiability.
8:27 😂😂...true! This is helpful but so hard to do as we don't want to hurt people's feelings and want to keep the peace but yeah when people really push we explode.
Totally agree on the notion that INTJs have difficult romantic relationships. Even if they are women (like myself) and attractive - we dont "connect up" to other people easily. Criticism versus agreeableness might be an issue.
Thanks for your thoughts and personal evaluation about ENFP’s. Hope you’ll find a partner that will complement you wonderfully! 👋🏻 from a Swiss ENFP who’s happy with an INFJ
ENFP women are loyal to the core when they have found their INTJ man. They may continue to get all the attention in the world. They'll be charmingly out there too - having nice conversations. But 10 times out of 10 they will come right back home in the evening. To their ONE love. That they talk charmingly to others does not mean they are flirting. They only want their own man finally. They come home and are as loyal as can be. Especially older ENFP women who have faced a bit of the harsh realities of life.
Thank you for noticing our boost us ups, because wow... It can be hard motivating others because we're leadership types who are scared to act on it. Or reluctant, we need a boost to boost others
@@theintjperspective2958 I know!! It sucks so much.. so interesting because we met when we were much younger, immature. I didnt think he thought much of me. Now we are older, I realise he took in alot more about me than I thought. We had a few lovely brief moments at the time, nothing serious. I asked him recently did I drive him nuts because I was so extroverted back then, he said he found me refreshing. I had absolutely no clue what he thought of me at the time. Wish I had though. I think we could have created something pretty special. You have described everything down to a tee with him, including the researching. Ugh. My heart is pining. So annoying.
I actively am seeking out information on INTJ & ENFP chemistry. I (ENFP) have an INTJ father and am seeing an INTJ romantically. I'm so fascinated by the chemistry our types have. So surprise! My ADHD and hyper fixation is freaking my INTJ out. But he loves that I care. 😊
I don't know how I lucked out but I had relationships with 3 INTJs. I wasn't even trying to date by type either, there's just something so... magnetising (?) like you said. Is that a pattern? Does that say something about me? Not sure. It was as if you found that matching jigsaw puzzle and things just fits right in and there's no other way it could be. Things are just right. Natural even. I didn't have to try very hard, or much anything above and beyond, and everything I throw I get something back. It's such a constant feedback loop and it never stops. It doesn't run out and it doesn't tire. It felt so magical. It was days and days of just nonstop talking. Never tired of each other because there wasn't much exertion. INTJs can be so good at listening and understanding underlying causation and I felt so pampered to have those insight when it was offered to me. It was like a favoured gift. INTJs stability and stubbornness is also oddly endearing (ok fine, only sometimes). I also find comfort on how if things make sense, it'll be alright. So if he had told me things will be alright, then it must've made sense to him to say that. Funny you mentioned one ENFP you were dating were religious and you're not. I had the total opposite situation where I was upfront and explicit about not being religious either and we broke up over that. It felt like he had his plans and goals mapped out and I was a little decoration on top of this plan or that part of their life -- I wasn't included in those plans, I was just supposed to.. accompany or be the supporting character in their story. That made me feel extremely dejected because I felt like I wasn't seen as a person but rather a handy dandy companion pet. I didn't feel like a priority, I felt like I couldn't have goals and dreams as well. Of course this has only occurred with this individual. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
I'm an ENFP, although I also had INFP results using another website. Both honestly make sense when I was in high school I was the shy girl with my hair in my face I wouldn't talk to anyone other than my two friends who were very introverted on one test it said I was 43% extroverted and 57% introverted so do with that information as you will.... Anyway I feel that magnetic pull towards an Intj male. I dream about him all the time and it made me question if he was my twin flame, although being an analytical thinker, I did make myself break that into logic & question whether or not twin flames actually existed from the viewpoint of a cynic/skeptic. Perhaps he's not my twin flame I'm just mentally ill and he's my favorite person to talk to LOL but no matter how you put it I feel like God put him on my heart for a reason or that I am being led to him by some Force because I have never dreamed about someone like this before like I dream about him sometimes it freaks me out I started a dream journal where I was intellectualizing these dreams I was having and taking the focus off of him and putting it on my spiritiual path maybe I'm dreaming about him because he inspires me I love his mind his intelligence his philosophy so maybe the dreams aren't about him but they are about the aspects of myself that he mirrors to me however on the other side of things dreaming about him all the time made me question am I meant to connect with this person? I feel for whatever reason that I want to give my love to him even if he doesn't reciprocate that love I feel it on my heart to love him anyway and love doesn't have to be romantic even agape unconditional love the love of God unconditional love is being there for someone and showing up for them expecting nothing in return I don't know why but I feel like angels God or whatever third party you were referring to is definitely pulling me towards him I have a lot of love in my heart and for whatever reason I want to give it to him but in his timing I want to give him his space and go his pace I don't want to cross any boundaries or try to pry my way into his life I just let him know in my alien way of explaining things that I felt this pull towards him and that I wanted to be here for him in his timing. I am actually pretty persistent and very loyal to the people I care about
@@theintjperspective2958 well I appreciate it! you said it's hard to find them this intj found me but it feels like we found each other at the wrong time. We have really deep conversations that make me love his mind & want to dive deeper into his soul. I could drown in his depths & die happy. I started dreaming about him all the time. He's into remote viewing & got me reading into it that's one of the things that made me so interested in him because I love astral projection, lucid dreaming, & absolutely love all of that. I saw him holding a piece of yellow paper with writing on it in my dreams he was reading it to me. I've had other dreams where he was surrounded by purple and green light. I can't help but think that God put him in my heart for a reason and maybe those dreams were the Angels nudging me towards him. Although I do know that we can also manifest these dreams through our thoughts & personal unconscious it's just strange because it feels otherworldly. I get a euphoria through my whole body when I think about him and I can't help wanting to be there for him. I'm very patient and try my best to give him his space I kind of just let him know how I feel and then stepped back to give him time to process. I want to lay under the stars with him and get lost in deep conversations. I long for someone that I can heal grow and evolve with spiritually & I feel like he and I could have that together. I fell in love with his mind, his philosophy. We both sing and play music so that also pulls me toward him I wrote a song about him. 🫠🙃
I am watching less mbti content nowadays but it was great to discover your channel. I find your content very interesting. Curious to hear your opinions on infjs with the same informative format! :)
I think I dated my first ENFP… and the connection and emotions I felt with this person, it was so confusing to me. I felt understood, able to express myself and she just got me. I felt warm with her and the connection and how I was able to just express myself to her so easily was scary to me…. Her ideas, I loved. The way her mind works, I loved. How bubbly she is, I loved. She got my humor and all we would do is laugh together .. And she was able to get into deep and meaningful conversations… and she expressed her love how my mind worked and how I would see the world.. she found me fascinating… and it felt good to feel accepted..
Yes its amazing when that happens.
Owww! ENFP here and all I want is someone to truly appreciate this things about me
ENFP here... That's exactly what I think about the INTJs that I met. I'm exactly by the other side. This is crazy!!
True!
I am an INTJ
I had exactly that expierience with a man. I gave him the persionality test just for fun..without saying that i am an intj.
Enfp he said..i was like "oh, thats how it goes...ok.."
He read stuff about and ask me "where should i meet an intj woman when they are so rare?"
I said "i am"
We are in a relationship about 7 month now and we are so perfect! We live together and everything is like we where together since ever.
@@Tralala8765 damn both of you got lucky! I wish I can find an enfp someday.
It has been said that the INTJ-ENFP partnership is golden because the INTJ sees the ENFP's brain, and the ENFP sees the INTJ's heart. Love ENFP's for this. 🤗
As an ENFP. We know a little bit about a lot. 🤣🤣
ENFP seeing an INTJ is like a cat seeing a bird...we go nuts.
xD muttering I will get you
Vaguely dangerous sounding lol, predator and prey 😆
Me, an ENFP, unknowingly found an INTJ best friend in high school/college. He was amazing. Every day with him was a new challenge and adventure. I loved him and also myself(!) during that time. Eventually our season of friendship had to come to an end... Only now, almost 15 years later, am I beginning understand not only how special that was, but also WHY that was. I am so thankful for that time together.
I sorta stumbled on this connection to. Trying to make the most of it myself.
Me too in campus but season came to an end
OMG, ME TOO, I'm an ENFP with two of my best friends - an INTJ and an INTP, they are awesome!
ENFP here. Wow this is strange to me as I’m only studying MBTI about a year, but I realized my best friend from High school is INTJ and so is my best friend from college. Very similar experience to what you write in your comment.
I stayed in touch with the High school friend until about 10 years ago, college friend and I are still in touch.
One thing I noticed after learning about personality types is the patterns of types in my life. Best friends mostly INTJ and INFJ.
@the INTJ perspective : This is what I meant by later life realisation.
ENFP here very happily married to an INTJ! 🙂
Yes! It’s absolutely amazing how quick the connection is between these two types. We actually met online, and after 3 dates, he knew he was going to marry me whereas I was the more (I need more time) one in the relationship.😂 But he persisted, and it’s been a wonderful 10 years! We definitely have our moments, fights, etc, but he just gets me. I needed someone to ground me, and he does that. I love that he finds me intelligent (even though my thoughts can be scattered lol) because most people think our bubbliness equates to dumb which is really irritating. Like you said, my husband thinks I come up with brilliant ideas, but it’s the execution part that is my problem.
Thank you for this video! It was fun to watch! I hope you will someday find a good ENFP! 🙏🏻
fellow INTJ here! I’ve always been attracted to ENFPs. They just give off such a positive vibes and they’re so nice to be around, and it did feel weird to experience their intelligence since on the surface they don’t seem like the type. They’ll always keep my hands full and retain my interest, since there’s always something random that they’re hyper-fixating on, and since I’m an INTJ with ADHD, they can combat that energy and not get burnt out by my constant rambling on my current subject of interest, not even just that, but they can rebate these things and understand despite not knowing anything on the subject 😂
They’re a lot of fun, and I really do wish I had more of them around me
Yes they do complement us well.
As an ENFP in a relationship with an INTJ, we love your stability, yet you're still intuitive and interested in the coolest stuff. We like that you're a rock, an anchor, yet still intuitive. Our randomness seems endearing to your type, which is a surprise since I think I'm a manic stutterer but INTJs seem to love us just the same.
It feels great to be appreciated for who we are :)
ENFP here. I always end up with INTJ’s. The connection seems so natural for me. You had me cracking up about ENFPs getting distracted til the next thing comes along but I’m not sure that’s really true. I work at the sane job forever, drive a car til it drops, have very long term relationships and am all about security. I suppose it’s all relative..
Me too totally :). We enfp are so prototyped lol
same but im also a capricorn! wbu?
I definitely agree as a fellow ENFP it's not that we don't appreciate long term security, we deal with important things pretty well, it's just in smaller things that don't matter as much we can come up with ideas and just want to run with them, or be spontaneous or multitask, etc.
@@natashaqueer same lol. Enfp here.
I am very committed to everyone and everything in my life.
I may have shifting interest to learn or be curious about. But my relationships with people, books, movies and work are always longterm.
Sounds like you are a bit higher percentage of Judger than many ENFP’s
Okay, so about the thing with being questioned why we like something is this: (at least for me) I have a brutal fear of people judging me. That’s Fi kicking in. We don’t give a damn what the group thinks, but if a specific individual in the group is judging, that’s scary. As an ENFP, I’m super duper aware of this when talking to people, so if I want to talk to someone about why they like something, I show my own vulnerability first. That way, their more personal opinion and vulnerability comes out more naturally since they have seen me be vulnerable.
SO if you know an ENFP, and want to question their values or something like music taste, show your own vulnerability in that area first as a Segway. This is tantamount, or else we will feel like it’s more of an attack than a question.
That’s just me though, can any other ENFP confirm?
Aye! A fellow enfp here. And I'm exactly the same.
If someone I just met asks me about music, I will instantly panic. And I'll involuntarily alt+delete my memories of the most recent stuff I heard. Even if it was actualy decent.
The fear of judgement is too real.
Yup that's pretty much it 🤣🤣
Yes. You're absolutely right.
Sometimes
Yes this is pretty much it, but I've learned to take a step back when im questioned in that way. Soo basically I redirect the convo for a bit and then when im comfortable I'll answer it on my own. But damn if someone did what u described I wouldn't even hesitate to answer immediately!
As an ENFP, you really hooked me into watching a 33 minute video without wanting to skip some parts or just skip the whole video. I didn't realize not till the end of this video that I've already finished it. And that's pretty rare cuz I don't really stick to a half hour long video that I don't find interesting. Btw, great video! Thank you for sharing your insights, opinions, and experiences with ENFPs. Actually I find myself cling to those people who have this sense of where they're going, like their lives are on track, the way how they do things are organized, they have this plans and to-do lists, the maturity. Because as I grow older, I find myself being self aware that despite being all this bubbly, outgoing, imaginative and whimsical person, I have to live my life outside of my head, in the real world where you have to work on things and get them done instead of just staying in your head and wishing for the world to be this and that. I'm quite indecisive, and it's honestly irritating. I'm working on that. But I just can't help it when there's a lot served in the table. I find myself attracted and interested to lots of things that it's hard to pick a career to focus on for example. Sometimes I'm like, you only have one life to live and yet there's so much in this world, so many people, their culture, ideas, places and history to explore, that you can't waste your life not going for it. So I'm thankful for my friends, some people too, who make me feel grounded again, to not float away too much and try to be more rational and logical. I apologize for a long comment but honestly this could go on forever so I'm just gonna stop here lol.
Oh no thats great, you're doing fine. I've been studying ENFPs a bit more and expanded my knowledge a bit since recording this. I hope to do an update here soon.
@@theintjperspective2958 That's great! Looking forward to seeing the video!
Yes. This.
1:40 ... no, if an ENFP befriends any INTJ, it’s almost Never about the novelty of it... because we rarely meet people who we really enjoy talking to. Seek to grow the friendship. ENFP never forget friends. Regrettably, I’ve had to disconnect from unhealthy INTJ relationships and friendships, but I haven’t forgotten a one of them; they’re recalled fondly by heart.
Absolutely this. As an ENFP, I may be a people person, but more specifically, I am a relational people person. I can do small talk, and I am decent at it, but I do not like it. I want to get past the shallow waters and really find out what makes a person tick, find out the depths of who they are as a person. I think that, at least for me, ENFPS thrive on depth and deep talks. I also like medium talks. Just anything but small talk lol. I am good at it, but see it as just an avenue to get to the deeper discussions. I would rather sit and talk with one person and get to know them as an individual over spending time in a group. Small groups are fine too, but I like the intimacy of quality time with a person over the energy of being in a crowd. Of course, I also have fun in those moments too and know how to have a good time. I feel like while it certainly is possible to miss the person who blends in and is flying under the radar, at the same time, I tend to find myself in conversations with those types of people and the people that come across as odd or hiding or something like that. ENFPS are the least extroverted of the extrovert types and I think that is because, like you said, we seek friendships and meaningful relationships over other types of interactions. We don't really get our energy from group engagements or parties. We get our energy from individual people. I have a really close INTJ friend who I have loved getting to know. There is a lot of depth to the friendship, and while it takes time to get my friend to open up at times, it is kind of like an onion with many layers and it is very fascinating to me. Instead of having the shiny object phenomena distract me elsewhere, it is kind of like getting to know my friend is a shiny object that gets a new shine to it any time I learn something new. I also like that we kind of balance each other and bring new perspectives. For instance, my friend inspires me to have direction, motivation, and intentionality in what I do. I am still working on it and not good at implementing that yet in the vast majority of my life and the process is slow, but having this kind of friendship encourages me to be a better person and fix some of the unhealthy habits I've developed. I've already noticed some change in my life just by being friends with this person. It's really inspiring and a breath of fresh air to have that friendship.
@@VeryToriI read this to the end. This is very beautiful Tori😊
As an ENFP, it’s so very true I get distracted easily and I’m always looking for fun new things, but yet I hold things very near and dear to me, I’ve had the same best friend since I was 6 and I’ve been writing and rewriting a novel I came up with when I was 13 (I’m 21 now) so I think it all depends on maturity for sure and what it is an ENFP really values and if they’re willing to go through with something despite difficulties. Becoming an adult and keeping myself accountable has been a real pain in the butt! 🤣
I would rather listen to a intj talk about our weaknesses. Normally it feels so much harsher coming from anyone else. It's an amazing thing to be honest! I feel like I could have a chill conversation with you. Definently an intellectual but the fact your expression doesn't change much. It doesn't smack you in the face because it doesn't add any emphasis. Just matter of fact. Thanks for sharing. I cant say I've met to many intjs in person. Take care
Thank you very much 😊
@@theintjperspective2958 I normally don't share my channel because it's actually a self study. I just think that as an intuitive intellectual type you may appreciate it. This is a prime example of unconventional of how a enfp learns in such an unconventional way. Also very raw and half baked production quality. Lol this is how I refine my intuition through emotion and feelings. Visual representation of an enfp intuition. I hope it provokes a rare but appreciated smile. Your type seems to appreciate that emotion genuinely provoked. Or maybe an enfp just feels more satisfaction witnessing :) ua-cam.com/video/XIrrFZWeap8/v-deo.html
The only INTJ I've had in my life that I know of was an oral surgeon I assisted and I was so drawn to him, like this intense pull to care for him, and support him. It was so weird... I've never felt that before or ever again. I know he was drawn to me too, not in a romantic way at all. Just in a mutual curiousity and silent comfortability. We both preferred the other to work with, but never indicated that to each other or to others, it could only be felt. I know he was really surprised to know I had such a deep understanding of complex concepts... Although all the other assistants saw him has brooding, a little scary and intense, I just could see his desire for order and logic and I never got in the way of that, just helped him keep that order and worked in harmony with his logic. He even let his guard down with me and joked in a way that he: didn't with others. I really liked working with him. Now I'm working with an ESTJ...omg...night and day!
U should connect
😆
Felt that last part. Ouch.
@@ENFPerspectives It's tragic forreal. I've since quit working with the ESTJ and took 6 months off work because...mental health! Now I'm back to work, with an INFP boss! It's amazing! Its so comfortable and familiar since my husband is an INFP. I am so happy!
I'm an ENFP and my best friend is an INTJ. From the first moment we met it was an instant friendship. I didn't even notice at first that she was introverted since she got so excited and talkative with me. Later on I noticed how people loved to antagonize her. She said things to people they didn't like straight to their faces and I envied that so much. Not in a bad way. And she told me she loved the way I knew exactly what people were feeling, and where they we're coming from and I that I always knew the right thing to say. I haven't yet met someone else that enjoys learning about random, different things as much as I do. We got into arguments due to my flakiness and because of her manipulative nature at times but we always talked it over after. It sometimes scares me how freaking intelligent she is. Years later we're still friends, and when we call, we call for hours. Analyzing theories and the people in our lives. Just love her and wish her all the best.
It's so nice you had that. I don't think I've ever had many ENFP friends. The ones I had were pretty cool though
As an ENFP I agree that we can be very chaotic. And in retrospection (literally only in retrospect, I don’t notice this about myself while doing it) I realise I have overwhelmed and confused a lot of people with my indecisiveness and wishful thinking. I love how you expressed weaknesses of ENFPs objectively, but again stating impersonal facts is what INTJs are good at (amongst many other things). I think I had a shot at an INTJ but I royally messed it up.😁 This video is very interesting and enriching. Thank you so much!
I'm an ENFP turbulent. I find that if someone gives me 1% energy i have the ability to recharge to 100% and give output of 110% output.
We are sensitive but often have hot button core values that can trigger us to detonate like a military grenade.
I especially have had issues with boundries with family who are narcissistic. Boy that isn't fun to deal with.
We ENFP types are highly distract-able. Just let us get distracted if you aren't really into us just let us get distracted and we will move on. Been there done that.
My wife is my favorite human. She is an INFJ-A. Been together for 15 years. I tend to when given emotional energy it tends to charge me to 150% because as it enters me it amplifies in a major way.
We are often busy.
That's a wonderful trait 🙂
Im an INTJ and my best childhood friend was ENFP. She was often the only person who reached out even tough I was bad with people/shy/"hard to approach" (I've heard). We went on so many adventures. I didn't realize how amazing that was until she passed away. I didn't realize how good other people could be for me until someone put in the effort no questions asked. I miss her a lot.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I am an ENFP woman. I really appreciate what you said about turning a rainbow into a laser. I unconsciously look for a person who can inspire me to focus my potential and make what I offer -better. That invisible pull is so real and I have never figured out how to align myself with that intense connection, without letting it overwhelm me.
Thanks 😊
BIGGGG CONFIDENCE BOOSTER FROM THIS VIDEO, I'll have to say as an ENFP we may have our arbitrary and unorthodox ways but honestly you acknowledging the beauty in our intellect makes me want to convey my huge gratitude towards you. I LOVE INTJ's they are very aloof with their Ni dom but because we share similar Fi-Te axis and Te-Fi axis, discussions and conversations come to a common ground a lot as our cognitive judgment and methodologies are very familiar to each other. The distinct part is the perception as Ne is very fragmented and sporadic and I am more than happy to converse about my unconventional views with an INTJ and take their breath away as they try to investigate predictable pattern in me - WHICH THEY WILL HAVE A HARD TIME. INTJ's oblivious to their Se inferior is very cute to me as well but I understand that mean to captivate the truest aspect of reality (but internally) they miss sometimes the tangible depictions of where there lies flaws and discrepancies in their "masterful plans".
All in all I am really impressed with your review as it's very constructive and in corporates things which I have intrinsically evaluated within myself. Love it!!!
I'm not sure whether all enfps mature in the same manner, but once I reached 30, I'd replaced flaky with reliable, and in a sense developed my mini istj. Im now one of the most reliable and loyal people I know. Not only did that change, but I find I'm more ambiverted these days, as you rightly said, Ive learnt to turn extravertion on and off. I think anyone generally learns to integrate their introverted and extraverted functions in such a manner that they appear more ambiverted with maturity. But I may be wrong in thinking that it might apply to all.
I was going to say the same thing. I’m an 18yo enfp and even though it’s not a lot, I’m learning more and more how to work with my own brain to be more reliable and productive. I’ve become a lot better at being punctual and caught up with deadlines. :)
@@bebelmatson life seemed more fun as a young enfp with ne on blast and no si or fi holding it back. But now as a mature enfp, it's steady with bursts of ne. It's alot more stable. Long lasting connections. Fewer and deeper connections. More go getter when needed (developed te).
Yeah once I turn 19 I really matured into my personality type a lot ENFP here
Also depends on your family life growing up. If you're in a very NT type family you'd be modeled scheduling, planning, etc.
@@dogdonut3 Good point. I was raised by an istj father and to a lesser degree, intj mother. Istj father definitely rounded me up, function stack wise.
ENFP here, and I would consider myself a “matured” ENFP in the sense that a lot of failings or pitfalls of an ENFP are issues I definitely used to battle on the daily, but growing up and maturing, I honed in my Te/Si more and started to really figure out a structure and plan of attack that worked for me to help guide my intuition and attention to a milder scope of vision, and these days I’m also far more diligent about sticking to goals and prioritizing items for longer term success and wellbeing over being so distracted every which way. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments where I get caught up in seeing through an idealized version of the world vs reality, and my brain DOES still wander in thought a lot, but it’s amazing what just a bit of structure, self reflection, and placing more emphasis on delayed gratification can do for an ENFP.
Also, as far as the flakiness issue a lot of ENFPs have, as part of my maturation, I also realized the simple fact that time, structure, and planning, while maybe only a secondary or tertiary issue for me, is sometimes a priority for others, and to follow one of my core follows diligently, treat others as you wish to be treated, this extends to respecting others viewpoints as you wish they respect yours. So long story short, I do still tend to make loose plans and can find it hard to give any sort of concrete commitments, but I will in the very least, give a heads up to others involved, if I’m not going to follow through or if I’m running late or any other modification needs to be made, to allow THEM to the time and space to also readjust if needed.
Yea working on our weaker sides is very challenging but very rewarding. As an INTJ Ive been working on handling emotions better. Its hard for me but I still try.
@@theintjperspective2958bro ur just not an intj. Sorry.
If facts is everything to you try researching estps. You're great bro and ur an estp. 🙃
Try finding estj, motivation and inspiration will never be as amusing with anyone else. You'll respect them.
Bro the reason why u question everything and don't really believe in everything because you have ti parent.
I'm an ENFP married to an INTJ. The connection is natural but not effortless. I would say that INTJs are not the easiest people to be with and ENFPs are not the simplest of people. It takes a lot of compromise and learning on how to become better partners. But it does help to have intuition as the dominant function in having easier communication.
This was a fascinating look into the INTJ perspective. I have never come across INTJs irl. Never sought them out either, because it felt like romanticizing an idea of something. Things are very rarely so ideal irl. But the more you went on, the more I could almost understand why? An ENFP-INTJ relationship could work. It's strange to feel so known. I don't fall under the 'very well-liked by everyone' ENFP stereotype, but I do have that entire "give, give give x100" thing to me and it definitely leads to friendships eventually turning into unequal relationships where I feel neglected. Like you said, you give 10% and I beam back 100% and that's not always a good thing, personally speaking, when it's almost a force of habit. Not everyone should be given back a 100%. It's hilarious but it's always my NT friends who recognize that side a lot more clearly than any NF friend I've ever had and always scold me about it.
Ended up laughing when you said the one way to dodge ENFPs would be to stand really still and not do anything and they'd be distracted by the next new thing. Almost affronted any intuitive type would dodge our notice like that loool. Y'all better keep that opossum act up all the time, we are quick to discard old preconceptions about people and give them chances again. Just kidding though, not all people from a type are made the same and I can see why you'd be wary of some of us. Not all chaos is good. I've heard INTJ-ENFP relationships tend to be a lot more wonderful and "golden" if both people are a bit older. Younger pairs seem to be a whole can of yikes tbh.
Thank you for such a positive and structured outlook on things, it really did help! It's not that the bond is very unique, it's that it takes less work to get there with INxJs. I hope to meet one of you and maybe come out with a friendship by the end of it. But good lord, 1 in 50 odds??? brb looking into how far humanity has gotten with the cloning technology for my ENxP brethren :(
Yea thats great you were able to enjoy, and you bring up some good points. I've been thinking about making the next video about better being able to spot INTJ irl. Thanks for the feedback.
15:20
"squirrel! 👀"
As an enfp I absolutely lost my sh*t with that one for how accurate it is lmao xDDDD
My god! I feel so called out.
😎
I was scared since i did this once and chased one in the middle of a convo with my friend, he still till this day tells this story to my other friends...
As an ENFP I’ve always been a bit skeptical about the INTJ-ENFP relationship. In my life, I blame my sensitivity and people pleasing tendencies for sometimes overlooking those who don’t immediately give me “I like you” feedback.
But the way you speak about this topic has made me feel understood in a new way. I feel as though you can relate to my general experience, and give feedback on blind spots that I actually care to improve on. Often times when I receive criticism I don’t immediately accept it because I don’t feel as though it’s pushing me to improve in the way that I want to grow. Your insight is helping me see where exactly ENFPs and INTJs are aligned and why it’s so beneficial. It’s almost like personalized advice that does not waste my energy by making me decide if it’s important to me or not, like targeted advertising that I intuitively WANT to accept. There’s immense appeal there and your video has helped me appreciate that.
Of course, I think both types can learn to work on their blind spots and grow without the others’ help, but I really learned something about how people want to be understood from your video. Maybe one day I’ll finally run into an INTJ and experience what this is about for myself! Thanks for sharing :)
Thats wonderful, and I feel the same way about ENFPs. They illuminate things that I've never even considered. And I've gone from expecting to scorn those types, to welcoming them. I'm glad this video has helped :)
It'd be pretty cool and informative if you did a video on how to find INTJ's. That's definitely something I would be interested in watching! I also appreciate the casualness of this video, it feels like a long chat with a friend. :)
What a coincidence, thats the next one I plan on doing ;)
Great commentary! Nailed it! I have experienced a relationship with an INTJ but neither of us was mature enough to foster that intense connection. Interesting that you commented on all of the things we wish we were seen for such as our intelligence, maybe that's why we adore the INTJ perspective so much. They "see" us, and vice versa.
Thanks Christina, I'm glad I did a decent job of assessing the match :)
As an ENFP, my closest friend and classmate is an INTJ, who holds the distinction of being my very first friend in Germany. I greatly admire his intelligence and unique perspective on the world. Recently, I've been experiencing a growing attraction towards him, prompting me to contemplate confessing my feelings. With courage, I penned my emotions into a heartfelt confession and shared it with him. However, his response to maintain our friendship left me feeling disappointed, as I had hoped for something more.
Surprisingly, though, he then took the initiative and asked me out, which has left me feeling perplexed about his intentions. Now, I question whether he wants to explore a deeper connection or if he simply wishes to continue our friendship without any changes😂
Be patient with him, INTJs are not great at relationships. We can move slow and be hard to understand. We are probably so hard to understand because we don't understand our emotions ourselves.
This well thought out opinion was very intriguing. This made me reconsider the ideas I had about ENFPs in a positive way
Thats great :)
8:52 this is because of ENFP's teritary Te and parent Fi. We don't let Te to be vocal about the things we don't accept, not our standards etc, but if we're in a more conscious state the Te will get out and tell them. This can be good initially bcs we don't want to judge ppl quickly we wanna know WHY are they like that first and accept them see where that goes, the con u alr stated so that's that. Maturing teritary function is key
As a ENFP, I'm really grateful for you sharing your insight :-) thank you!!!
I like to do what I can ;)
Your video gives me a new perspective about ENFPs. Very interesting. And yeah, there are many factors to consider when it’s about connection and happiness. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you Ingrid, I'm glad I was able to add a little bit to the conversation about ENFPs.
I think it's true that ENFP's make a lot of acquaintances, and we reach out to people in public, on the bus, and connect with people. We are gatherers of experiences, and viewpoints, and love to hear new ideas, or opinions. But we tend to develop very few close friends. I don't think it's because we are flaky though, we can be actually kind of shy, and after we have a great discussion, we develop a fear of not being able to duplicate that same feeling, and so we may avoid people for that reason out of fear. We do have broad interests and are very curious people and so it's easy to connect, but we are afraid of looking stupid, and so we also want to leave people with a good impression, and leave it at that. We aren't like the NT types, and we speak quickly our ideas, only to realise a better idea, and so it appears as if our logic is all over the place, but we actually externalise our thought process, it's the raw data, so in that process you see how we arrive at conclusions in a very different way from NT. We are very gregarious, but that is just a test to see if the other person is equally considerate. What we are searching for is people who reciprocate and will look out for us, not in the exact same way, but in a way that shows we are being understood. INTJ's in my experience understand this dynamic and so I personally treasure my INTJ friendships. I usually respond best when friends reach out to me. I seem super social, but when I'm not out and about, I can go to some dark places, and I'm usually just glad someone is calling me. I have learned to warn people who cross my personal boundaries, at least twice or three time before I explode, but I've learned to follow that explosive anger with a statement like "that's what I would say if I was really mad, but I'm not!", just pretending. Ha ha. But your assessment is fair. To be honest, other NF types don't seem as intellectual, INFJ seems to believe conspiracy theories and are out of touch, and ENFJ are good at building people up, but they do want to shape you into their vision. INFP's no real data to comment on. I've been friends with an INTJ female for twenty years. We can talk for 4 hours on the phone without feeling bored, and we are always debating ideas and I really consider her my best friend, but our age difference, and interests are quite different. Heck, I'm a liberal country boy with an open mind, doesn't believe in Jesus, who wants grow veggies, play guitar, practice yoga, and discuss geopolitics, so I agree, my chances of finding a compatible INTJ female is like next to zero. I have an INTP friend who asked me what I like about my INTJ friend, I told him, "some people show they care by folding clothes for their significant other. She folds my thoughts. She remembers what I forget about myself. She's my external hard-drive and she always is there for me. I never understood why INTJ are so ignored, it's a shame, some of the best people.
This could not be more accurate!! The analysis of ENFP motivations and the synopsis of other NF types. I think the INFPs are intelligent, they just don't have the intensity ENFPs do. They don't hunger for an answer the way we do, so in turn they don't have to come across as much information or wonder about the connections they may make.
The last sentence really got me.
The whole comment is a fluffy ball of sweet cuteness, it exhale care and appreciation towards your friend, anyone could tell how much you cheerish her ✨
I think INTJs get cut off and not noticed rather than ignored. The thing is, if we want, we blend in with the background becoming just a grey shadow among others, and most of us generally want this (expecially if there are issues of any kind in the mix such as depression or anxiety..). Most of the time - if not all the time - we get labeled as "the weird kid" and our questions and likes may be brushed off as just another weird thing of ours.
The world can be very lonely and extremely judging which is ironic for us since we are generally extremely open minded.
Nowdays common behaviour when it comes to interacting or some dynamics in a relationship of any sorta with another person may be scary for us, scary and conxerning even (that manipulation or retortion that may harm someone's life in many way.. we have plently of examples just by doing a quick research on the internet). One more reason to shy away from social situations.
Btw. There may be INTJs tha can appreciate your way of life and mindset, I am almost certain of this so don't give up? I guess. lol
Have a nice day pal!
Wow you’re so on point with this… I always have weird feelings about people I call my close friends and feel like somethings always off
As an INTJ, I don't think I've ever had a positive interaction with ENFPs before, but I keep seeing that this might just be my independent experiences. A lot of the ones I've met have lacked a lot of direction, and while I too like thinking about different ideas, I really enjoy having a specific goal or intended outcome of a situation. They've also usually been really difficult to have constructive discussions with because of the "building up" you also mentioned, so when I'm trying to put everything on the table and come up with a clear and concise plan of action, they don't actually contribute in setting boundaries. Of course, just my own experiences, but I struggle a LOT with F types and emotional types in any way.
Well maturity play a big factor but a large part of the appeal is that they are so different than us yet we get along so well. This means you have to be a little more at peace at accepting people with their own flaws and be less critical of them.
It's so INTJ of you to point out most of my exact flaws. Loved the vid.
😎
Man i can listen to u forever..like the way u speak. Thats what i love intjs n infjs like ur intelligence and the way ur mind works is just 🥰. Thats one of many reasons why i love infjs n intjs - Enfp
8:30 we aren't really holding any malice *in* (generally speaking). We give people lots of passes, because everyone can have a bad day now and then. When those days become patterns, that is when the so called Te "b-slap" occurs.
ENFP here, and I already find you super interesting would def probably gravitate towards you or if we happened to be around each other for prolonged periods of time there would probably be one deep convo and Id be hooked lol even if it was just friendship wise, I do not think its rubbish, I just think you've had a few bad apples and the logical part of you is truly turned off for now lol
Yes deep conversations great. I'll try to keep an open mind about ENFPs :)
I'm am enfp and if someone talked about a topic I didn't know I'd love to get a book from them or something and read about it and talk with them about their opinions on it and ask questions about things I don't understand, I think lots of enfps like to learn about stuff that others are super interested in to kind of see from their view why it's interesting and it's fun too.
I love feedback that just tells you straight and not just "you suck" so thank you for the information it helps enfps like me to be more aware of what we need to work on. :)
Wow, that sounds so sweet. 😊
Enfp here. I thoroughly appreciated the criticism. I like a dose of realism so I can work on my flaws.
P. S and this is ironic. My mother is an intj, and she's the most delusional person I know. She jumped into the wrong conclusion, and 20 odd years and still can't persuade her otherwise. Her error in judgement was life changing for not only herself but for the family I once had.
I put it down to ni, and the stubbornness of the function once it decides on something.
I do however understand what you mean. I have an infp partner and he can be pretty delusional and reach wrong conclusions. To be honest, I think infps might be harder to convince otherwise as they aren't typically open with their thoughts and are busy fabricating things in their heads. I think my advice to infps would be, fact check. Express crutial thoughts and allow for outside feedback so you can differentiate that which is true from false.
Interesting
Wow this is one of the first times i've seen a video on ENFP's that is this thoughtful and in-depth! I am an ENFP myself. I agreed with pretty much everything you said, however there were just a few points you brought up which I disagreed on, like ENFP's being so distracted that we'll overlook INTJ's, and the part about us being like dogs who see squirrels. I don't agree with that as much. I think it appears that we are ADHD outwardly, but we are also very attentive and do notice nuances a lot of people may miss.
Also, your point about ENFP's being flaky. I understand why you would say this, but instead I think a better way to describe it, without the judgmental undertone, would be that we are elusive. Lol. I hate when people call me flaky when they invite me somewhere and I don't want to commit to it. And it makes it so hard to express that without offending someone, because it is not personal. It almost feels confrontational the way people ask to spend time with me. And to be honest, I am a bit sick of it because people shouldn't feel that they are entitled to my time in this way, and should be more understanding/perceptive of my need for solitude. I think this especially holds true for unhealthy ENFPs, and truly, you never know what someone may battling inside their own mind. This is partially why I think ENFPs are so understanding and empathetic, because we tend to struggle immensely with our own inner demons. Also, I think people expect us extroverts to be ready to party whenever, and take it personally if we aren't readily available, and then resort to calling us flaky, which hurts because it feels like people dont take time to try and understand where we're coming from deeper than that. -- being misunderstood is so frustrating!!
Personally, I am like this because I never know how im going to feel day-to-day and the way I feel dictates how I act. Since I dominantly lead with my emotions in social settings, it can be so hard interact with people when im feeling down, and almost impossible to muster the desire to want to see people that day. We are definitely more spontaneous this way but contrary to popular belief, we need A LOT of downtime to recharge our batteries and be up and running for another social situation. When we do get out its great. But the other 90% of the time, we're recharging.
During "recharge time" we're reconciling the contradictions of the world around us, and the discrepancies between our ideals and reality. We are deep thinkers and very reflective folk. But this side of us does take a large toll on any social energy reserve.
I dont know if youre familiar with Enneagram, but I am a 4w3, which may also explain my introverted and melancholic attitudes.
Anyways, Sorry if this sounded rant-y, I really did enjoy this video a lot and I thought you had many fresh perspectives on ENFP's that I haven't heard before. And I found it very touching. Thank you for making a video about us, :)
Well, understand that everyone, when compared to, an INTJ is flakey and "ADHD". But I'm glad you enjoyed it. I recently did an in depth dive into ENFPs and why they like INTJs by the way ;)
That supposed "flakiness" in ENFP's is when we realise we MUST withdraw and the main reason I have noticed in myself and other ENFP's is because we instinctively know we will be no good to anyone at the time. Sure, we could turn up, but we will not be who we truly want to be. You mentioned the explosive rage that ENFP's can display, and that is a big reason why sometimes we just don't show up. We spend SO much time "showing up", just wanting to give that 110% (or judging from your bookcase, "love you 3000" ). A wise ENFP KNOWS this, and it's why we are often called the most introverted of the extroverted types. When our "dark side" comes out, we HATE it in ourselves because it feels so unnatural, and if we hate it ourselves, why would we want to put anyone else through it??
Yea that's what alot of ENFPs say. I generally try to give xxxP leeway in general.
@@theintjperspective2958 It's not leeway we need, it's the understanding that we feel..... essentially broken. (which is when you get the rage) We need what we give out to be given back to us. I KNOW it is harder for the other personality types, but we don't need that much, 1% of the extra 10% we give sometimes?
Yes that is something Ive noticed about ENFPs. That give and take ratio. Jung talked about that a bit, how ENxx types are always searching, basically externalizing their search for self. Its only a mater of time before they burn out and need to look inward a bit. It part of the pairing of Extroversion with Intuition a kind of cycle of looking outward then inward over and over again. I believe the xxxP types this is more so.
@@Mdias8923 That's because we live in the "what if", not the "what is". The "what is" is boring, and mundane, and often we can find it extremely stupid to simply just follow. I'm not sure if we truly do care about giving 110% all the time, I find it more that we care more if we don't get a little bit more than 100% back, we feel we have done something wrong. For some it's appreciation and for some, it is freedom (especially at work for example). My dark side comes out when I feel underappreciated, and it can come out in explosive bursts (similar to your comment that WE are the ones to blame) You are not the one to blame and sometimes that is a hard thing for ENFP's to actually accept.
EDIT: Never forget, as an ENFP, life may come "as it is", it's OUR role to re-engineer it to be what it COULD be. We need others to ground our dreams (looking at you INTJ's!! ) It's another reason why we get called "flighty" or "commitment-phobic", we initiate, that is our role, completion......... yeah, not always our strong suit. We get so wrapped up in our dreams of what if, and that is not a failure, it's just the way we think. Having said that, In that first week, or month, or year, how often do you simply get stuff done beyond anyone's expectations? We complete when we are engaged, and keeping us engaged is NOT our problem.
Oh dear lord. The dish washing party story had me in stitches 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I would cry tears of joy if that happened. INTJs doing that kind of stuff activates my acts of service so hard 🥲😭
It especially feels great when it’s an area where the ENFP struggles, despite our best intentions.
ENFP here, thanks for the feedbacks and this video. I think I understand why INTJ-ENFP relationship helps each other. But i also believe that as we all mature we can have relationship with any type. My husband is an ENFJ, i learned a lot from him because he is decisive in achieving goals and making anything. But he also understand my feeling and intuitively help me when i feel uncomfortable in any social gatherings or when someone upset me. But i have an INFJ friends and in my experience, i always listen to what she talks about, im trying to understand her, i gave her advice on her relationship but INFJ is stubborn with their own core values and feeling. They are loyal but loyal to a point of hurting themselves and to a wrong guy. So i ended up from advising to being burn out and call her out from her mess. Tried to encourage her to open up for possibility of having a lover that actually CAN love her back and wants to commit to her(marriage). So yes i had to be from this understanding and accepting, to straightforward and harsh that time. But still i feel bad after having said what needed to.
One thing my ENFJ husband taught me is to really think about our intention. Yes if we think of long term goals we will continue doing it day and night. We (ENFP) need to have a locus of control which is our intention. For example i found it easier now to stick to my workout and exercise when i have the right intention. Before this if i think about having a slim body because i want to look good, then eventually it doesn't happen. Because i was doing it for someone else(outward to inward). I might gain more. So instead i think about staying healthy when i got old, loving myself my body, avoiding health issues, i found that i stick to the workout for longer period. Now it's almost 1 year i have keep exercising. But something i dont like about my ENFJ husband is he always said that my dream is ridiculous and not something that is practical for me to survive. But i just dont want to give up hope, because when im passionate about something i go after it 100%. I love theatre and also teaching. So im currently working on both. He prefers me to focus on teaching because he sees that i am making money for it. But at the same time I want to act, write and direct theatre. So yuppp been doing both things at the same time now.
Okay going back to your video, thanks again, i understand and now still struggling to stay focus and working on something. Im not sure i have met an INTJ. But i really looking forward to. I would really like to have INTJ friend. Maybe this would sound improper. Can you be my friend? 😃
Sure I can be your friend. I plan on making some more videos when I get the chance but a lot of what you said makes sense. I think ENFPs pair great with a lot of people but what they lack most is clear focus, sometimes that comes from partners and friends, some times it can be learned.
@@theintjperspective2958 yayyyy thanks 😃🌈. Okay my name is Wahidah, im from Malaysia. What's your name?
You are so correct about letting things go until you finally blow up. I have lots of trouble with this and am learning. I think it’s expecting others to accept people and things as you do and finding out they don’t. Thank you for this video.
(ENFP)
When someone asks me why I like something my immediate response is to share it with them! I'm not a, "just because" kind of person, I need proper explanations, so when someone asks me a question then I feel the need to properly explain to them. (If you didn't wanna know then you shouldn't have asked. 🤨)
"Why do you like K-Pop?"
Here's at least 3 groups I like, a bit of history on the entire industry, and what my personal experience was to get to where I am now! ✨😄✨
Oh, you don't like K-Pop?
Well, to each their own. 🤷
You think it sucks?
Triggered. ⬅️
With me you get what you give. You want to have an adult conversation? I'm down as fuck! You want to needlessly criticize the things I like without any logical backing to your statement? You now have that emotional time bomb people don't like.
As a fellow ENFP, this 100%! And I feel like that's because there is something about someone asking 'Why...?'. Almost whatever follows it becomes some sort of complicated cave I need to explore, whether I am exploring it for the person I'm talking to or figuring it out for myself for the first time or finding a new passageway in the labyrinth that I thought I knew so well before. 'Why' has so much potential for interest. And so it's annoying to me that I've just done a massive mission, and I thought the person I'm talking to was right there with me, but come to find out that they were never there and just stayed at the surface.
Well, they are fun. That’s how you fall for them. Plus they are so darn lovable.
So accurate. I’m an INTJ and I’ve been dating my girl an ENFP for almost 10 years. We balance each other like the dynamic duo that we are.
ENFP here! 🥰 Thank you for this. All true. Alot of people misunderstood or misjudged me because of my friendly outgoing nature. But once they get to know me, they get shocked of how deep and observant I am. 😆
Not true we don't give attention to just anyone....it appears like we do...but inside our hearts a few can truly catch our genuine attention
Thank you for this. It’s been refreshing to hear your thoughts about my personality type. Eye opening really. Listening to you brought up memories of my past relationships with a new understanding of my part in the continuation of some and the ending of others.
I realize this is an old video, so I’m going to watch some more of your content. But I wanted to thank you!
@aubreyjones8103 ah thanks, I have one more video shot ENFPs, though I don't post often I still try to contribute something from time to time.
@@theintjperspective2958 it was balanced and thoughtful. You showed vulnerability and logic. No matter your personality type, this is a great example of courage and leadership. Good luck with whatever your goals are! I have do doubt you’ll achieve them!
Loved all of your insights! 👍 And in true INTJ fashion, all accurate, which is so satisfying. -INTJ female
This is insightful. I have enjoyed friendships with both ENFPs and INTJs. I am an INFP also in my 40s. When I look back on my life, there is one ENFP and one INTJ (they did not know each other) who I really regret not staying connected with. Most people come and go, but both of these types had levels of depth and originality of thought that I now treasure and wish I had more of in my life. One critique for INTJs: I felt pre-judged by my INTJ friend. While I respected his mind and asked lots of questions (because I love learning), I did not feel the same curiosity and respect back. He was interested in me but seemed to subtly want to maintain dominance. Maybe it was a cultural/gender thing. Or maybe it was my fault for being reserved and not wanting to brag about myself to prove my intelligence or accomplishments. But if he had shown more curiosity and openness, I think he would have been surprised. ENFPs, on the other hand, are much more positive/gentle in their treatment of new people, and especially sensitive people.
Yea thats something I struggle with, its real easy to make a conclusion and stick to it, without listening to new information.
An enlightening perspective, thanks very much! P.S.: you've loads of brilliant things in that room.
-an ENFP
Oh thanks, and this is just a room I throw all the left over items in, kind of my game room.
ENFP girl here 🙋♀️ and INTJ's are like magnets for me 😅 thank you for your analysis! I loved it!
Dude, I just find it funny that I’m watching your video right after asking my wife to go into the store and pick up The Federalist Red Blend, lol... def not coincidence. I’m an ENFP, btw.
LOL, honestly its pretty darn good. But the store hasn't had it in stock sense then :(
Your funny! Haha have u noticed how we enfp always get the intj sense of humour
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What’s with the iron man costume ? Are u doing INTJ role playing next ?? never seen that before
@@natashaqueer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m an ENTJ (INTJs cousin we have the exact same functions just different order) who dated an ENFP for a very long time and have had many ENFP friends. I will say you guys are EXTREMELY likeable. I have Ni as my second function so I love your intuitive nature. You guys have good ideas too and it’s very fun to go on these abstract mental adventures with you guys. I do have some constructive criticism to give, (assuming you’re an ENFP) so maybe you can work on this. As a dominant Te user, logic is my way of life (same with INTJs btw). My problem with the ENFP is it’s not possible to reason with logic. You guys just don’t respond to it no matter how hard I try to break it down. You guys will just do whatever the hell you feel like doing, and then you find yourself at 35 years old and still having done nothing with your lives (sorry if that’s a rude wake up call). The problem is you don’t listen to peoples advice no matter how much sense it makes. You’re more concerned with having fun and socializing that you avoid taking on any responsibility or boring tasks that bring you closer to your goals. Fortunately you’re very likable so you can pretty much just get other people to help you with the hard stuff, but how far can you really go if you never feel like taking on the workload? Of course it’s uncomfortable working on the process and I understand that being a low Se user definitely doesn’t make it easier for you, but you NEED to focus and work on that. Your functions are like a muscle and they will become stronger the more you use them. There’s much more to life then just shooting the shit with your friends and wasting all your time accomplishing nothing. Pick out a ONE goal, and work on it RELENTLESSLY. I know you guys have a new goal every week but really try to pick the most important one (buying a house, building a business, finishing school, learning a language, starting a UA-cam channel, etc). Quit chasing after fun all the time and go accomplish at least one thing and I promise you will feel so proud of yourself. You can start with working 10 minutes a day on your goal and slowly work your way up. The key is to be CONSISTENT and to do it every. Single. Day. With no excuses like oh I’m hungover, or oh I have to go to a party soon, or oh I actually my dog needs a bath. Just focus on your goal, and work until you’ve reached it. Quit fucking around.
Well as an INTJ I can't vouch for the ENFPs out there but I feel with enough maturity even ENFPs can do a lot of what your saying here ... ... I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Yea it looks like you have encountered un mature ENFPs more mature ENFPs are a lot better about what your talking shoot
About
@@maxdeborde6772 im not sure if its about maturity.. im facing these problems and soon to be checked if i do have ADHD (shit is real)
@@adrim888 Because of auto correct puncture your brain lost some iq because of auto correct on my phone so sorry about that
As an INxJ , ennegram 8 with an ENFP ennegram 7 son . I feel blessed . I appreciate his very existence .
You say it works till it doesn't just faster than with other types. Maybe from your ENFP's perspective it worked till it didn't just lasted longer than with other types...
ENFP by the way and you got my attention for a whole of what you had to say just by speeding it up a notch or two😅
And you called on all my flawes (I already have been aware of the perks of being me).
So for bringing me back down to the ground I say: Very well played, thank you🤝
Yea it was one ENFP that I fell for that got me looking into this connection in the first place. I mean I can see it really working great. But I can also see going really badly. Lets just say I've never had it work well with an ENFP just yet, but I can believe it being a great fit.
22:00 - I've done this with an ESFP friend of mine and she was really impressed and appreciated that I could tell she was having a bad day just from her voice
ENxx types in general tend to be the best at reading people quickly.
I think that overall the theoretical ideal relationships for the MBTI personalities are just that...ideal. Personally I feel like INFPs are my personal favorites. My husband is this type and he and I get along so very well. We just really lack structure hahaha, and actually feed off of each other's chaos in a negative way haha. The ENFP is forced to provide it structure (this has happened with at least 3 INFPs in my life, my husband and my 2 friends) and that's not a role that we are good at at all. We actually end up stressed out in that role. But I love it, wouldn't change it.
I LOVE the comparison to fire in an engine! Fire on its own will cause havoc and is not able to be harnessed. Conversely, an engine with no fuel is just a statue, fixed in a moment in time. Together, through compelling symbiosis, an INTJ & ENFP make the perfect counterparts in life by providing the exact counterbalance needed to help each part thrive - the INTJ is the structure and direction to the ENFP’s motivation and purpose.
I feel like the Heart and Brain (Awkward Yeti) comics by Nick Seluk, are the perfect example of the INTJ/ENFP dynamic (both externally and internally). Both types have a clear logic and feeling side internally, but their first choice differs. Still, they sense a sameness with one another that helps them to recognize a comrade; the other represents our repressed natures unchecked. One of my exes (who is still a close friend of mine), relates ENFP on their own to an untethered helium balloon and the INTJ acts as the string to help keep them from floating away.
(ENFP-A, who has known, dated, and befriended several INTJs of both genders. I always have the softest spot for INTJs and I love watching their unique mind and learning from their expertise. As an artist/creative with ADHD, INTJs are an invaluable friend to have on my team. Hopefully, they feel similarly about my enthusiasm and unconditional love & support 😊).
In summary, for this to be successful, both parties must be intellectually and emotionally open and evolved to meet in the middle.
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed the analogy, well you know us INTJs and our analogies 😄
Whimsical, emotional and intelligent willing to jump from one fun adventure to the next And we Love people. Yep Just add a Good cause or two to our palates And u have the ENFP
if you say so lol
ENFP here, she felt the pull as well. I can sense an INTJ in a room. I feel their presence like a gravitational pull. They scare me because it feels like falling in the way you described, I try to avoid them because I know our connection will be intense and it terrifies me. I found one when I was in SF, I could instantly tell by how he made me feel. I felt like we had already met but I’m not American so it’s impossible. He was the most interesting person at the party, I had to avoid speaking to him because he felt like black hole that would suck me in. I regret it.
ENFPs are amazing but too many are stuck in their heads, they are like children looking for a sense of purpose. They have been used and abused by the world and gaslight into thinking they’re not good enough. An ENFP that knows their value and turns their talent into a thing of power, that’s someone that will achieve amazing things. I hope all my fellow ENFPs start recognizing this, the world needs more of us. I also hope I find another INTJ
After some work I'm getting better at spotting ENFPs, I'm getting to where I can spot them before they spot me lol. But yea it's an interesting dynamic that very puzzled by.
The first criticism is so true. I smacked a former colleague on the face when I couldn't take it anymore because she'd been physically bullying me for MONTHS. I already called her out but she didn't take me seriously
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My intj helped me just like that meme literally I am not joking. I told my friend my business idea and he was like that sounds amazing
ENFP with an INTJ best friend and an INTJ boyfriend 😁 I'm a fan of you guys.
You'd be surprised at how ENFPs just sniff us out. Just recently at a party one came over and sought me out lol.
Please consider doing your opinions on INFPs next :) I just befriended an INTJ and I feel a lot of potential for a close friendship with them
Maybe someday I will ;) But N types are all about deep connections and big ideas. Though INTJs have trouble with their emotions and this person will undouble be puzzled by yours because your introverted as well. Luckily you're pretty open minded so it should be great for both of you.
33:18 Are you kidding me?! I love watching this! I’ve actually googled several times this exact keyword phrase hoping to find this!
I’ve always been very attracted to you all adorable nerds 🤓 and sometimes wish I would open an introvert adoption agency! (J/k but low key kind of interested in how that idea would play out).
But *sigh* yes, I know we are an absolute lot. I exhaust myself. There’s something so comforting about your steadfastness yet openness at the same time.
@catherinetreme thanks for liking our type, sometimes we get pushed aside by society. And I'm glad you enjoyed the video 😁
@@theintjperspective2958 aw that’s terrible! Y’all are beautiful little weirdos. We love yall!
Struggling and currently depressed enfp is here. I'm now interested in different perspectives, how much other personalities see the world and react to things, this kind of observation really attracts me as I'm trying to write stories and have to understand deeply how different types of people think, communicate and stuff. And you helped me a lot, thank you!
Speaking of myself, I really need someone to help me in organizing and planning especially when I'm not in a good state with my bipolar disorder. I have a tendency to avoid things that disturb me but have to be done yet. It's not healthy at all. I understand that I have to learn to deal with it myself, but sometimes it's too hard and i feel like I need that rational thinking from another person, from intj probably. Because as you said you're not only can organize things but also have that absolutely fascinating ability in reading our enfp mood. You have this magical power to see through all this defensive bubbling and always smiling stuff that i as enfp usually have and it's great, it amazes me.
Maybe I said too much here and shared some things that I'd never said outloud, but yeah.. it is what it is. And I'm very grateful that you gave such possibly, i really am.
Thank you so much for this video, dkw but now I'm feeling a bit better and can do some things from my (avoid-because-it's-too-scary) list.
With much love from this enfp💜
Thats great, I love what you had to say. I mean all types have their own ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses. But INTJs and ENFPs really do seem to compliment each other really well. But yea, I think INTJs are pretty good at reading ENFPs, you guys tend to give off a lot of signals. And we tend to not be intimidated by the randomness like others might. I hope you find someone to help bring you calmness and a sense of being centered in your life :)
As an INTJ I agree on the ENFP's breadth of intelligence remark. While their intelligence at times isn't as deep, their breadth of their interests I find appealing. They listen intently and I their level of care is obvious and I find that attractive. I can never recall being in an argument with an ENFP.
Think the best way to summarize is that both ENFP and INT/FJ types want to conquer themselves. We bond over the struggle and the war and come out looking the same but the ride along is entirely different. I'm all bells and whistles and diva energy and she's all cool and calm and collected. Same struggle different image.
I love this idea so much!
Well, I am ENFP and Single. I have been for years and years. There are reasons for this. One is, I bond for life with the right person, and not for a fleeting fling. And second, just some statements that have to do with a sad awareness and knowing more than just this life provides for. Which means I dont‘t let LOVE in easily, unless it’s friendship, but even then … I am aware of the Intentions of others who are taking too much for themselve without being honest and true. At the same time I keep being my spontaneous self; open to everyone I meet, eventhough I still keep my purity close to my chest as I know how judgemental people usually are. If you wonder; I am ENFP, but a very mature and aware one, who knows all the quircks and misfortunes in the characters of ENFP‘s. For people who believe in (know) past lives; I have been ENFP in one key past life, and have to struggle through all the ENFP heartships that I went through in that lifetime. It was HELL, but I fight to solve a personal mystery having to do with my soulmate who was/is an INTJ/INFJ. One result of being THIS aware is that I am seeing through superficial layers of people of all types and what they put up front ….and they usually can’t stand it! So friendship is also quite difficult to form unless the other person is also very aware. In general I have been used and abused by people taking advantage of my pure hearted nature in my past life, but also in this one. I‘ve noticed that usually people don’t even care about pure hearts, and their truths, just as long as their’s is been provided for. Most people are all about their own needs and care less about the needs of others, no matter what personality type they are. I don‘t state I would know it all, as my personal experiences are mine alone and no one should degrade that. True understanding and bonding is a rare thing and beautiful when found. Don‘t assume that you know a thing about true bonding and connection when you‘ve never experienced that…..❤
Hot button topics yes!!!! Great video! Thanks for telling the truth on the positive and negative! Great insight! Also The Federalist wine is so good haha
I'm glad you enjoyed it, the video that is, the wine is good to.
Wow, spot on. I am an INTJ T female and my boyfriend is an ENFP A. So many things rang true. So many examples you used are things that I have witnessed with us as well. Unreal. Wonderful job gathering all your info. , giving great examples and seeing things from both sides and putting it all together !! : )
Thats great, its rewarding the effort I put into analyzing the whole thing has really paid off for people :)
You come across as a very warm personality. This is a proof that INTJs are individuals and differ from one another. Trivial remark, but true..:-)
Thank you, its something I've worked on being better at over the years.
That pull coming from a "third party place", that's more than accurate. It's not just physical, emotional, intellectual ... I think it's even astral !
Astral ... ...? 🤔 Sounds like one of those ENFP sorta things 😆 I'll just have to take your word for it.
@@theintjperspective2958 I think what she means by astral is perhaps a "greater power " an unexplainable non scientific. Or maybe not necessarily a greater power but something bigger
@@theintjperspective2958 or an unknown field
Im an ENFP and got a friend who is INTJ
But, to be honest .. my wife is INFP and i feel that is the best match ever. We understand each other and talk the same language and same value. Just the different is the energy type. She helps me cooldown and waves me into land when i go to much off. And i help her get of her head and go more out and explore.
Very many good ENFP points here, but when u have matured and healed the negative things u said doesnt really add up as true...
As i dont hold things inside, for me my interval harmony is more important than any thing. So if a person is going off i will tackle that situation right away or i will remove myself from him/her. But, if moving isnt an option i will take my fire and let them know ...
ENFP here…found an ENTJ and so far so good even with the odds of success. Maturity and rationality and a lot of patience…best advice patience !
15:10 - This is so true LOL! I notice this about a particular person in my family. Also I am an ENFP-T
Hi! ENFP. I’m a solitude and selective kind of soul. THANK YOU for your videos, I enjoyed the in-depth videos! agree about the rubbish stuff and the maturity for relationships.
I’m grateful to have met some INTJs (to be specific, not to brag: 2 males & 4 females) they all have their own unique vibe, inner world, and so much that I can’t type them all. One of them is the anxious but talkative type (I’m assuming still a work in progress? Idk ), the other got the goal targets but delays till situation progress, and the rest are more private and remain respectful….
Storytelling: I’m still surprised that one of them swung opened the door like it’s their territorial room without knocking when I was in bed. In my head, “OHHH Hi-Why no knocking? I’m not well dressed or pretty and we’ve only met a few time so ummm yes?” That INTJ said something and I could only reply, “Okay.” With the thought of why this person barge in without knowing me well? Unless it was really important but, the room is my territory dang it. 😅 Tell me what you think please!
Oh thats complicated 😆, I don't know what to say
this is fascinating ... my sister and i are this combo, shes the INTJ, im the flake lol ... i love INTJs, i rely on the decisiveness of others
We're probably the most decisive type, especially when we mature. I've always been grateful for that.
ENFP here. Watched the whole video. I've dated an INTJ - I loved the intellectual connection between me and the INTJ. I absolutely agree that the longevity of the relationship is based off the levels of health and maturity of each person. At 39, I feel I have developed more of my "Thinking" aspect and Im not as flakey. I also wonder if enneagram #'s/wings/triads make a difference when talking compatiability.
yea xNxx usually have great bonds, and so long as both type mature and work on their weaker aspects then its a really great relationship
8:27 😂😂...true! This is helpful but so hard to do as we don't want to hurt people's feelings and want to keep the peace but yeah when people really push we explode.
I'm ENFP and I also question everything. Thanks for the video
But I think with INTJs, we stick with that question for much longer. Almost as a obsession.
@@theintjperspective2958 that's interesting, I'm often obsessive about these things... still enfp I think
When you talked about the focus of interest I felt so caught because I actually plan on graduating specifically in physics and biology ….😂~ENFP
Oh that sounds great
27:20 - What a great analogy! Thanks alot
I love this video so much!!! Thank you for sharing this!!! 💖
Totally agree on the notion that INTJs have difficult romantic relationships. Even if they are women (like myself) and attractive - we dont "connect up" to other people easily. Criticism versus agreeableness might be an issue.
Yes I'm working on exploring this more in my next video
Thanks for your thoughts and personal evaluation about ENFP’s. Hope you’ll find a partner that will complement you wonderfully! 👋🏻 from a Swiss ENFP who’s happy with an INFJ
ENFP women are loyal to the core when they have found their INTJ man. They may continue to get all the attention in the world. They'll be charmingly out there too - having nice conversations. But 10 times out of 10 they will come right back home in the evening. To their ONE love. That they talk charmingly to others does not mean they are flirting. They only want their own man finally. They come home and are as loyal as can be.
Especially older ENFP women who have faced a bit of the harsh realities of life.
Sounds like a great woman. 😊
Thank you for noticing our boost us ups, because wow... It can be hard motivating others because we're leadership types who are scared to act on it. Or reluctant, we need a boost to boost others
I am ENFP... totally utterly in love with an INTJ. All of the things you describe make me laugh and cry.
He is married tho!! Wahhh....boooooooo... I am single.
I'm glad you like it, I have another ENFP video where I dive deeper into some of the reasons why that is.
@@sarahcrombie361 oh that sucks lol
@@theintjperspective2958 I know!! It sucks so much.. so interesting because we met when we were much younger, immature. I didnt think he thought much of me. Now we are older, I realise he took in alot more about me than I thought. We had a few lovely brief moments at the time, nothing serious. I asked him recently did I drive him nuts because I was so extroverted back then, he said he found me refreshing. I had absolutely no clue what he thought of me at the time. Wish I had though. I think we could have created something pretty special. You have described everything down to a tee with him, including the researching. Ugh. My heart is pining. So annoying.
I actively am seeking out information on INTJ & ENFP chemistry. I (ENFP) have an INTJ father and am seeing an INTJ romantically. I'm so fascinated by the chemistry our types have. So surprise! My ADHD and hyper fixation is freaking my INTJ out. But he loves that I care. 😊
Yes its an interesting dynamic for sure
I don't know how I lucked out but I had relationships with 3 INTJs. I wasn't even trying to date by type either, there's just something so... magnetising (?) like you said. Is that a pattern? Does that say something about me? Not sure.
It was as if you found that matching jigsaw puzzle and things just fits right in and there's no other way it could be. Things are just right. Natural even. I didn't have to try very hard, or much anything above and beyond, and everything I throw I get something back. It's such a constant feedback loop and it never stops. It doesn't run out and it doesn't tire. It felt so magical. It was days and days of just nonstop talking. Never tired of each other because there wasn't much exertion.
INTJs can be so good at listening and understanding underlying causation and I felt so pampered to have those insight when it was offered to me. It was like a favoured gift.
INTJs stability and stubbornness is also oddly endearing (ok fine, only sometimes). I also find comfort on how if things make sense, it'll be alright. So if he had told me things will be alright, then it must've made sense to him to say that.
Funny you mentioned one ENFP you were dating were religious and you're not. I had the total opposite situation where I was upfront and explicit about not being religious either and we broke up over that. It felt like he had his plans and goals mapped out and I was a little decoration on top of this plan or that part of their life -- I wasn't included in those plans, I was just supposed to.. accompany or be the supporting character in their story. That made me feel extremely dejected because I felt like I wasn't seen as a person but rather a handy dandy companion pet. I didn't feel like a priority, I felt like I couldn't have goals and dreams as well. Of course this has only occurred with this individual.
Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Yea dating with maturity is all about finding out those deal breakers early. Core values are super important.
@@theintjperspective2958 You're quite right about that, from then onwards I have a hard limit with dating with religious individual, spot on indeed.
I'm an ENFP, although I also had INFP results using another website. Both honestly make sense when I was in high school I was the shy girl with my hair in my face I wouldn't talk to anyone other than my two friends who were very introverted on one test it said I was 43% extroverted and 57% introverted so do with that information as you will.... Anyway I feel that magnetic pull towards an Intj male. I dream about him all the time and it made me question if he was my twin flame, although being an analytical thinker, I did make myself break that into logic & question whether or not twin flames actually existed from the viewpoint of a cynic/skeptic. Perhaps he's not my twin flame I'm just mentally ill and he's my favorite person to talk to LOL but no matter how you put it I feel like God put him on my heart for a reason or that I am being led to him by some Force because I have never dreamed about someone like this before like I dream about him sometimes it freaks me out I started a dream journal where I was intellectualizing these dreams I was having and taking the focus off of him and putting it on my spiritiual path maybe I'm dreaming about him because he inspires me I love his mind his intelligence his philosophy so maybe the dreams aren't about him but they are about the aspects of myself that he mirrors to me however on the other side of things dreaming about him all the time made me question am I meant to connect with this person? I feel for whatever reason that I want to give my love to him even if he doesn't reciprocate that love I feel it on my heart to love him anyway and love doesn't have to be romantic even agape unconditional love the love of God unconditional love is being there for someone and showing up for them expecting nothing in return I don't know why but I feel like angels God or whatever third party you were referring to is definitely pulling me towards him I have a lot of love in my heart and for whatever reason I want to give it to him but in his timing I want to give him his space and go his pace I don't want to cross any boundaries or try to pry my way into his life I just let him know in my alien way of explaining things that I felt this pull towards him and that I wanted to be here for him in his timing. I am actually pretty persistent and very loyal to the people I care about
@phoenixrising1237 that's the main reason I created this channel, to explore this connection and share my experience with it 🙂
@@theintjperspective2958 well I appreciate it! you said it's hard to find them this intj found me but it feels like we found each other at the wrong time. We have really deep conversations that make me love his mind & want to dive deeper into his soul. I could drown in his depths & die happy.
I started dreaming about him all the time. He's into remote viewing & got me reading into it that's one of the things that made me so interested in him because I love astral projection, lucid dreaming, & absolutely love all of that. I saw him holding a piece of yellow paper with writing on it in my dreams he was reading it to me. I've had other dreams where he was surrounded by purple and green light. I can't help but think that God put him in my heart for a reason and maybe those dreams were the Angels nudging me towards him. Although I do know that we can also manifest these dreams through our thoughts & personal unconscious it's just strange because it feels otherworldly. I get a euphoria through my whole body when I think about him and I can't help wanting to be there for him. I'm very patient and try my best to give him his space I kind of just let him know how I feel and then stepped back to give him time to process. I want to lay under the stars with him and get lost in deep conversations. I long for someone that I can heal grow and evolve with spiritually & I feel like he and I could have that together. I fell in love with his mind, his philosophy. We both sing and play music so that also pulls me toward him I wrote a song about him. 🫠🙃
I am watching less mbti content nowadays but it was great to discover your channel. I find your content very interesting. Curious to hear your opinions on infjs with the same informative format! :)