I live in one. I am the oldest female. I am the only one who does chores. Now I do it for 8 people, and do it alone. I don't understand why they leave all the work for me. And I my own tech. My life no longer exists. I am an unpaid, invisible slave.
We got pushed into multigenerational living by my son's divorce. He went through some really tough times financially and emotionally. We didn't have a choice. Four years later and it's still strenuous. I've had to put my foot down and insist he and his daughters do basic chores. I have recently been diagnosed with RA and sometimes my hands don't work. I am currently trying to find a home with a separate apartment attached so that he can be independent and I can get some rest from being a Grand"Mom". There are times I get very resentful because I've raised my kids and now I'm doing it again! BTW his ex-wife is still living with her folks and the GrandMom on the other side has a chronic illness. Grandparents are not there for the adult kids' convenience! Adult children need to pull their own weight in the relationship!
They feel entitled to my time, they are lazy and they abuse my kindness. I do them a favor and then it be comes my responsibility, If I set boundaries then I'm selfish I am not pulling my weight, but I can't set boundaries with them because I am just expected to do it, there is no appreciation they just dump there a responsibility on me without regard, but I should not expect anything from them. Honestly, I do best living alone with one or two cats because I'm tired of feeling like a slave in my own life. I love people I want to help but sometimes it becomes too much when there is no balance, you have no voice, you can't speak up you should just appreciate allth crap being dumped on you and It is unfair stressful and overwhelming. Sometimes I just want to run away.
@@resetmyzen1585sometimes you just gotta let them hate you for awhile and be okay with that, until they have to pick up their own crap. overtime they will realize how exhausting just picking up after themselves, what more when its one person picking up after more people? or they may never realize, but i rather they hate me and say im not putting in the work and try to enjoy my life than be a slave. sometimes u just gotta stop giving a toot.. its uncomfortable for ahwile until you and they acclimatize to the new situation. GO FOR IT
Multigenerational living is the most brilliant family living design that benefits all members financially and socially. If you can do it with good family members or friends, then go for it!! You will never have money problems or problems finding help and protection like most people. Safety in numbers and numbers is synergy! That's the law of nature!
100% agree . This is something that can really help the whole family if they all work together . The parents get taken care of until end of life and the kids who get married and have kids have there kidos spending time with grandparents and also all the money gets keept in the family not to a landlord and or a bank . Its either that or be in for a hard life . Just my 2 cents .
Absolute agree but there's just one condition - everyone has their own half-house that is separated: separate kitchens, bathrooms and, of course, bedrooms. Every adult needs their own space and have their own way of doing things. To avoid conflict, there should be separate space for all - either a condo type or an entire floor to oneself.
While I see your viewpoint, please be respectful of those who have the need to live separately. Sometimes, generational conflicts can lead to issues that defeat any benefits. And there is a such thing as too much togetherness.
Wychowuję się w takim domu i to jest masakra, przy rodzicach czuję się komfortowo ale przy dziadkach już nie, boję się nawet ruszyć gdy babcia przejdzie obok, mam z dziadkami bardzo złe relacje
Such words of truth and wisdom. 😂 My wife and I have had my now 94 & almost 92 y/o in-laws and our almost 35 y/o son(working two jobs) living with us for the last ten years. Yes, there are good points, but the emotional and mental stresses are immense. My wife and I laughed so hard about your comment about being in charge of the tech, HR, and medical departments for the parents. Privacy- long gone. We get our “couple time” with day-road trips on the weekends. People always say, “You’re so blessed!” Well, as you said, there are good points, but this arrangement is not for the faint of heart. You have been warned. 😂
My family members all 10 of us also live together. Like all things in life, there are trade-offs. I'll take living together anytime because the benefit outweighs the disadvantages. We have no money problems, we have plenty of time, and we all retired in our early 40s. We have house rules and we mind our own business. The disadvantages are very limited. But it's important to have good personality family members living together... Anyone that is rude, unkind, or insensitive to others needs to be kicked out.
I am actually considering this and don't have much time to think about it. Im my case, I am "Grandma", in my mid 60's and considering moving in with my 3 young Granddaughters and their single mom. My oldest granddaughter was my son's first born and he died a few months ago so we have the grief dynamic as well. Moving into a townhome and all of us just trying to survive financially. Oh, and I have 2 cats too. The privacy thing is what concerns me the most as well as peace and quiet and me not going crazy trying to clean up after everyone. Should prove an interesting "experiment ".
Love this video. You should do with specific to managing finances in a multidimensional family. I’ve been living in a multidimensional family for 9 years ago. It wasn’t something I planned nor wanted but it just ended up happening. It has definitely been a lot of learning and compromises and having some very difficult conversations. And that’s constant. I like to think that we have now made it work for the most part and I wouldn’t change it for anything else, at least not while my parents are living. Everyone has to give up something (some more than others) but that’s what makes this living arrangement beautiful and selfless. Not easy but it can be done.
The issues described in this video are similar to caring for elderly parents in their own home. I think it is not only multigenerational living that is challenging but having older living parents. We as a society are not prepared to deal with end of life years . It used to be the case of grandparents living together with the rest of the family totally unnoticed. Our lifestyle are now different, our relationship are more complex. I am 51 and did benefit immensely from the love and the affection of living with my grandmother as a child . There were not IT issues. I am now responsible for managing my mothers care and it is a constant challenge.It made me consider multigenerational living.
Ten months went by since I saw this video the first time, and I will say I would never have let the kids and grandkids move in if I had realized that my husband and I were going to pay all the bills, buy all the groceries, and do all the house and yard work, as well as repairs to home and their cars. They do nothing.
I grew up and lived in a multigenerational home with my parents. After my father passed away, I remained there with my mother. Upon graduating from college, I secured a well-paying job, and my son and I continued living with my mother while I took on the responsibility of covering all household expenses. This arrangement allowed me to pursue hobbies outside the home, and I was grateful that my mother and son shared a close and enriching relationship. However, I encountered challenges when my mother frequently shared details of my private life with my siblings and other family members, making me feel as though my personal matters were no longer my own. To maintain a sense of privacy, I eventually needed to establish clear boundaries. 😊
um in places like Mexico multigenerational homes are often the norm and often when they struggle with privacy they divide/ expand the house and is common to have many houses in one lot like a compound with the middle courtyard being the center of of social activities in the family
I live in one. I am the oldest female. I am the only one who does chores. Now I do it for 8 people, and do it alone. I don't understand why they leave all the work for me. And I my own tech. My life no longer exists. I am an unpaid, invisible slave.
Leave them temporarily and they'll learn very quick they need to get their act together.
We got pushed into multigenerational living by my son's divorce. He went through some really tough times financially and emotionally. We didn't have a choice. Four years later and it's still strenuous. I've had to put my foot down and insist he and his daughters do basic chores. I have recently been diagnosed with RA and sometimes my hands don't work. I am currently trying to find a home with a separate apartment attached so that he can be independent and I can get some rest from being a Grand"Mom". There are times I get very resentful because I've raised my kids and now I'm doing it again! BTW his ex-wife is still living with her folks and the GrandMom on the other side has a chronic illness. Grandparents are not there for the adult kids' convenience! Adult children need to pull their own weight in the relationship!
I'm so sorry for all that is happening to you. I am convinced that my children are using me up, until I finally get to die.
They feel entitled to my time, they are lazy and they abuse my kindness. I do them a favor and then it be comes my responsibility, If I set boundaries then I'm selfish I am not pulling my weight, but I can't set boundaries with them because I am just expected to do it, there is no appreciation they just dump there a responsibility on me without regard, but I should not expect anything from them. Honestly, I do best living alone with one or two cats because I'm tired of feeling like a slave in my own life. I love people I want to help but sometimes it becomes too much when there is no balance, you have no voice, you can't speak up you should just appreciate allth crap being dumped on you and It is unfair stressful and overwhelming. Sometimes I just want to run away.
@@resetmyzen1585sometimes you just gotta let them hate you for awhile and be okay with that, until they have to pick up their own crap. overtime they will realize how exhausting just picking up after themselves, what more when its one person picking up after more people?
or they may never realize, but i rather they hate me and say im not putting in the work and try to enjoy my life than be a slave.
sometimes u just gotta stop giving a toot.. its uncomfortable for ahwile until you and they acclimatize to the new situation. GO FOR IT
Multigenerational living is the most brilliant family living design that benefits all members financially and socially. If you can do it with good family members or friends, then go for it!! You will never have money problems or problems finding help and protection like most people. Safety in numbers and numbers is synergy! That's the law of nature!
Beautifully put!
100% agree . This is something that can really help the whole family if they all work together . The parents get taken care of until end of life and the kids who get married and have kids have there kidos spending time with grandparents and also all the money gets keept in the family not to a landlord and or a bank . Its either that or be in for a hard life . Just my 2 cents .
Absolute agree but there's just one condition - everyone has their own half-house that is separated: separate kitchens, bathrooms and, of course, bedrooms. Every adult needs their own space and have their own way of doing things. To avoid conflict, there should be separate space for all - either a condo type or an entire floor to oneself.
While I see your viewpoint, please be respectful of those who have the need to live separately. Sometimes, generational conflicts can lead to issues that defeat any benefits. And there is a such thing as too much togetherness.
Wychowuję się w takim domu i to jest masakra, przy rodzicach czuję się komfortowo ale przy dziadkach już nie, boję się nawet ruszyć gdy babcia przejdzie obok, mam z dziadkami bardzo złe relacje
Such words of truth and wisdom. 😂 My wife and I have had my now 94 & almost 92 y/o in-laws and our almost 35 y/o son(working two jobs) living with us for the last ten years. Yes, there are good points, but the emotional and mental stresses are immense. My wife and I laughed so hard about your comment about being in charge of the tech, HR, and medical departments for the parents. Privacy- long gone. We get our “couple time” with day-road trips on the weekends. People always say, “You’re so blessed!” Well, as you said, there are good points, but this arrangement is not for the faint of heart. You have been warned. 😂
My family members all 10 of us also live together. Like all things in life, there are trade-offs. I'll take living together anytime because the benefit outweighs the disadvantages. We have no money problems, we have plenty of time, and we all retired in our early 40s. We have house rules and we mind our own business. The disadvantages are very limited. But it's important to have good personality family members living together... Anyone that is rude, unkind, or insensitive to others needs to be kicked out.
Seems like it’s important to set rules and boundaries in advance and have a house that’s floor planned to accommodate privacy between family units.
I am actually considering this and don't have much time to think about it. Im my case, I am "Grandma", in my mid 60's and considering moving in with my 3 young Granddaughters and their single mom. My oldest granddaughter was my son's first born and he died a few months ago so we have the grief dynamic as well. Moving into a townhome and all of us just trying to survive financially. Oh, and I have 2 cats too.
The privacy thing is what concerns me the most as well as peace and quiet and me not going crazy trying to clean up after everyone. Should prove an interesting "experiment ".
Love this video. You should do with specific to managing finances in a multidimensional family. I’ve been living in a multidimensional family for 9 years ago. It wasn’t something I planned nor wanted but it just ended up happening. It has definitely been a lot of learning and compromises and having some very difficult conversations. And that’s constant. I like to think that we have now made it work for the most part and I wouldn’t change it for anything else, at least not while my parents are living. Everyone has to give up something (some more than others) but that’s what makes this living arrangement beautiful and selfless. Not easy but it can be done.
There's no more privacy when you're living with roomies you barely know !
Thank you for this, i live in a multigenerational home and can relate. I love my family, but there are times it’s tough to manage.
So true! Thanks for sharing!
The issues described in this video are similar to caring for elderly parents in their own home. I think it is not only multigenerational living that is challenging but having older living parents. We as a society are not prepared to deal with end of life years . It used to be the case of grandparents living together with the rest of the family totally unnoticed. Our lifestyle are now different, our relationship are more complex. I am 51 and did benefit immensely from the love and the affection of living with my grandmother as a child . There were not IT issues. I am now responsible for managing my mothers care and it is a constant challenge.It made me consider multigenerational living.
Ten months went by since I saw this video the first time, and I will say I would never have let the kids and grandkids move in if I had realized that my husband and I were going to pay all the bills, buy all the groceries, and do all the house and yard work, as well as repairs to home and their cars. They do nothing.
Why do you allow that to happen?
Thank you for listing cons of multigenerational living. It is very important to consider and plan for the bumps that are sure to come.
This was an incredibly helpful video. Thank you so much for making it-I learned a LOT!
Such an incredibly important issue for so many families. Your family looks awesome but I know it can't always be easy.
It really is! Thank you so much!
I grew up and lived in a multigenerational home with my parents. After my father passed away, I remained there with my mother. Upon graduating from college, I secured a well-paying job, and my son and I continued living with my mother while I took on the responsibility of covering all household expenses. This arrangement allowed me to pursue hobbies outside the home, and I was grateful that my mother and son shared a close and enriching relationship. However, I encountered challenges when my mother frequently shared details of my private life with my siblings and other family members, making me feel as though my personal matters were no longer my own. To maintain a sense of privacy, I eventually needed to establish clear boundaries. 😊
As Steven He would say “Emotional Damage!”
um in places like Mexico multigenerational homes are often the norm and often when they struggle with privacy they divide/ expand the house and is common to have many houses in one lot like a compound with the middle courtyard being the center of of social activities in the family
TRUE Awesome Video 👍 Informative And Funny (Steve Harvey & MIB) 🤣
Do you have another video that is geared toward the benefits as well? I think I would truly like to share the pros AND cons with my significant other.
Hi Breanna! Yes. I have a video you can check out here! - ua-cam.com/video/BrGMoREisNY/v-deo.html
I love my parents but I won’t be able to live with them
Great video, thank you!
Good video man
Oh ok baybee….I thought mom and dad would like some humor and excitement in their lives.
Oh plus we don’t want to wake them with loud kissing 😂