Has anyone else used Mark's rant reviews as a means of cheering themselves up during covid? I especially love how Mark is so angry he starts yelling at Simon. One day Simon is going to kick his arse and we are going to hear it.
"it's about the struggle to get your career back on track after you sunk it so deep submarines can't find the wreckage of the last movie you made". Kermodes a savage.
No problem. There are lots of great Kermodean rants that many people haven't heard so I'm doing my best to get as many of the best ones up as possible.
"5 minutes in and it was all over". That comment and the Chas & Dave line just about finished me off. Mark Kermode is a national treasure. And that's all there is to it.
I enjoyed this movie but then again I loved snatch. The best was Collin the coach and the boys. Had me rolling. I think since you are British you hold it to higher standard, cause human nature means we tend to be harder on our own then others. As an American I enjoyed the movie precisely because it exposed me to more British themes. It got a swag.
I went to see this with my Uncle and Cousin back in 2008 when it came out, and while I was happy with it I have to say, in a way, Kermode's right. I was so, SO relieved that it was nothing like the abomination that was Revolver and I think my first impression was overpowered by that. But! Since then I have re watched it several times and my love for it remains, RockNRolla has a quirky charisma to it that has stood its ground. Heres hoping for 'The Real RockNRolla'
Considering I'm such a huge fan of Lock Stock, Snatch and I quite liked Rock'n'Rolla, I really liked this review! People who slag off Kermode because they disagree with his film taste need to grow up. It's possible to see where someone else is coming from in terms of critisicm, and I can totally see where Kermode is coming from in his critisicm of Ritchie's work - but for the same reason he doesnt like them, I enjoy them immensely. Call me immature if you like :')
Funny stuff. I rented REVOLVER a few years ago and thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't get it, and I shouldn't have fallen asleep several times. ROCKNROLLA was also terrible...couldn't tell anyone what the plot was about.
@TulseLuper Excellant. Glad to hear he came to his senses in the end. The good thing about Mark Kermode is that, despite the vehmance with which he does denounce certain things, he is always prepared to revise his opinion if need be, and also take's into account movies he wouldn't necessarily choose himself and judge's them on their own merits. Of course you have to make allowances....he is after all only a critic and as such is given to the whim of the moment and the odd tantrum. (;
To all those who say Kermode just has prejudices towards films, it's worth pointing out that Guy Richie's latest film 'Sherlock Holmes' has been out a few weeks, and Kermode LOVED it. Mark just knows his films; he knows the difference between a crap film, and a good film. It's a shame the rest of us don't.
I saw Rock n Rolla when it came out and I honestly can't remember a thing about it other than that it was way too long and all over the place plot-wise.
Is this is a case of Kermode not liking Guy Ritchie personally? There are lots of bad movies reviewed by Kermode and he slates them but you don't see him this hateful too often.
Rocknrolla isn't a bad movie. I liked it. Kermode plainly has it in for some people. This Dyer thing of his seems an unhealthy obsession and he seems fixated on Ritchie too.
One of the funniest aspects of these reviews is that his anger and venom directed at the films makes me want to see them to confirm that they can actually be that bad!
8:01 "I know everyone's going to say that you hate this because you hate Guy Richie movies ... and it's true, I do hate Guy Richie movies." I have a sneaking suspicion that he hates Guy Richie movies.
It has a successful director, writer, big name stars and great cinematography, but it still manages to be sub par. Tom Wilkinson, Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy, Idris Elba etc. all big names or big names now were in the film but couldn't get it critical acclaim, but enjoyable nonetheless.
Kermode admits towards the end of the interview that he didn't get that Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels was a comedy the first time he saw it. That's just crazy.
He likes loads of films. If you bothered to watch/listen to all his available reviews, you'd be aware of that fact. As for Watchmen, his reasons made perfect sense. All style and no substance, which is something loads of people have said.
paradoxically, he gave a positive one for that epic fuck up "Prometheus" it just proves that "all knowledge is interpretation", as a wise man once put it.
Guy Richie gets a lot of stick for making the films that essentially made the british underworld or at least the criminal community of London seem like unrealistic caricatures who speak in cockney rhyming slang, hang out in pubs and snooker halls and flash guns around despite living in London. The Richie films are entertaining to me because they are very much a gangster films with a comedic bent to them, you only have watch them for 10 minutes to see the formula.
A Guy Richie gangster film need not be bad or predictable to boot if he changed up his formula, not used the same tired clichés or motifs in his films. What's funny also is that Matt King, the guy played Guy Richie in Star Stories is in this film, so Richie does appreciate parody and satire. I don't hate this film, but I can see why this film ultimately is Guy Richie going back to what he knows and what's bankable, not terrible new or original. The film in new film parlance is a Talent Bomb.
Guy Ritchie= A poor man's Tarantino. As someone who is a friend of Toby Kebbell, the bad boy smack head, i liked seeing him in it. But in honestly it was 99% utter bollocks, pacing was all over the place, no clear narrative and I'm sure he stole that speech on cigarettes out the dustbin from Tarantino's cutting room!
Although the soundtrack was actually alright. Definitely got me into Lou Reed and I also love the Clash so I'll give it that. Basically it's sounds like something that should be good and looks like something that could be good but actually it fumbles its way from one plot point to another. Wouldn't have minded seeing a sequel nonetheless at least then I could decide whether I want love it or hate it after all!
"I can't be wrong twice in a minute" sounds like a line straight out of Oscar Wilde. Superb interaction between Simon and Mark in this one.
Lol thank you for this lolol
Has anyone else used Mark's rant reviews as a means of cheering themselves up during covid? I especially love how Mark is so angry he starts yelling at Simon.
One day Simon is going to kick his arse and we are going to hear it.
Many's the day I've done just that 👌🏼
"but I did quite enjoy it"
...
"No you didn't"
Beautiful
+alspacka it was
"it's about the struggle to get your career back on track after you sunk it so deep submarines can't find the wreckage of the last movie you made". Kermodes a savage.
XD
There is not enough aloe vera on Earth to recover from that burn.
That's something you can't recover from 🤪
Thankfully Guy Ritchie seems to be back on form the last few years.
Debateable
"I quite liked it".
"no you you didn't"
"The sound-track was good"
"-No it wasn't."
"I can't be wrong twice in one minute"
"-Yes you can"
Ouch!
That was great yeah! Love their banter back and fourth! lol. Great review. I only disagree with him over the Subways.
No problem. There are lots of great Kermodean rants that many people haven't heard so I'm doing my best to get as many of the best ones up as possible.
make sure you get Mama Mia too - for the opposite reason. Everyone was expecting a rant and instead he loved it so much it made him cry.
The long good Friday performed by chas and dave. Perfect description
6:33 The exasperation in Kermode's voice is so genuine. "But... Simon..." he can't believe that mayo doesn't hate this film as much as he does.
I think Simon just likes to wind him up. He knows how much the audience love this stuff.
The Long Good Friday as done by Chas 'n' Dave. Brilliant!
What I really love above everything else in a Kermodian rant is the moment when he throws in breathlessly-"And the WORST thing about it is..." genius.
his Danny Dyer is fuckin brilliant.
It's amazing how much of what he's saying fits Mark's still image
'...cor blimey I'm married to Madonna' LMFAO
Guy Ritchie could make "Cockney Wanker: the Movie". Oh wait, no, he already has - several times.
Kermode needs to be on mainstream TV more often. He's the man.
I know all about gangsters.... No you don't. 😆
+Clubber O' leary "nae plus ultra" class
LONG LIVE KING KERMODE
but he's a complete wanker
@@Sssthpok he is now with his stupid woke rhetoric these days
Absolutely love this! 😂😂😂
Vintage Kermode on one!
"5 minutes in and it was all over".
That comment and the Chas & Dave line just about finished me off.
Mark Kermode is a national treasure. And that's all there is to it.
Absolutely 😊
Also:
"Even the NME wouldn't sink that low!"
They sort of did, back when they voted Pete Doherty top on the Coolest People list a few years ago.
I think Mark took LS and Snatch far too seriously. I thought they were hilarious.
“But I did quite enjoy it.”
“No you didn’t!”
“Oh no, sorry - I realize I’m wrong.”
Thanks man. I love his rants but the positive reviews are always worth a listen too
I fucking LOVE this movie. fantastic.
Whoever this dude is, he sure has a strong tongue. Movie was awesome, GG Guy Ritchie.
if the "dude" you are referring to is Mark Kermode then you have been missing out.
Movie was not awesome. Thanks for playing.
I cannot stop laughing my ass off.... take a firm line Mark hahahaha
+Denis Vargas "No. It's not right to enjoy it" hahaha. This might be Kermode's finest hour.
Kermode is in love with Kermode
He's only human
" A good soundtrack is a movie that uses its music intelligently". Amen!
I enjoyed this movie but then again I loved snatch. The best was Collin the coach and the boys. Had me rolling. I think since you are British you hold it to higher standard, cause human nature means we tend to be harder on our own then others. As an American I enjoyed the movie precisely because it exposed me to more British themes. It got a swag.
I went to see this with my Uncle and Cousin back in 2008 when it came out, and while I was happy with it I have to say, in a way, Kermode's right. I was so, SO relieved that it was nothing like the abomination that was Revolver and I think my first impression was overpowered by that. But! Since then I have re watched it several times and my love for it remains, RockNRolla has a quirky charisma to it that has stood its ground. Heres hoping for 'The Real RockNRolla'
I liked this movie. It's nothing special but it's entertaining.
Agreed, maybe not oscar material, good flick nonetheless.
I'm glad Mark reminded us of just how terrible the NME was.
6:32 - can't believe how camp Kermode was there. "But SIMON!"
😂😂😂
Sexy Beast is how its done
Absolutely 😉
'I quite enjoyed it'.
'No you didn't.'
'Oh no sorry, I realise I'm wrong.'
"Not even submarines could find the wreckage of the last movie you made..."
Kemodic brialliance.
"I did quite enjoy it"
"No you didn't!"
Thanks for uploading
lol i liked rocknrolla a lot but this was great to listen to
I miss this kind of review from Mark.
I can't actually remember when his last proper rant-a-thon was...
Most disturbing is that on the end credits there’s a threat of a sequel
No problem. As long as the wittertainment keeps going strong, I will continue uploading Kermode gold.
Considering I'm such a huge fan of Lock Stock, Snatch and I quite liked Rock'n'Rolla, I really liked this review! People who slag off Kermode because they disagree with his film taste need to grow up. It's possible to see where someone else is coming from in terms of critisicm, and I can totally see where Kermode is coming from in his critisicm of Ritchie's work - but for the same reason he doesnt like them, I enjoy them immensely. Call me immature if you like :')
Sexy beast was a geezer movie. That was brilliant
"I can't be wrong twice in a minute" hilarious.
This is peak Kermode
I love Mark's classic rants, before he decided to do reviews based on CONCEPTS
"I did quite enjoy it.."
"No you didn't"
The long good fridave
😂😂 excellent comment
"I can't be wrong twice in one minute"
- "No you can!"
Mark would argue that Guy Ritchie can be wrong 3 times in one minute.
Funny stuff. I rented REVOLVER a few years ago and thought there was something wrong with me that I didn't get it, and I shouldn't have fallen asleep several times. ROCKNROLLA was also terrible...couldn't tell anyone what the plot was about.
@TulseLuper Excellant. Glad to hear he came to his senses in the end. The good thing about Mark Kermode is that, despite the vehmance with which he does denounce certain things, he is always prepared to revise his opinion if need be, and also take's into account movies he wouldn't necessarily choose himself and judge's them on their own merits. Of course you have to make allowances....he is after all only a critic and as such is given to the whim of the moment and the odd tantrum. (;
I totally don't understand why everyone is hating on Revolver. I liked it a lot. I enjoyed RockNRolla as well.
I fucking love these guys.
It’s funny how Mark actually says he like Lock Stock now(Aladdin review). I know he likes the Sherlock Holmes films.
"you have to take a firm line here!"
that's my favourite part too. Standards people!!!
All RocknRolla did for me was further my opinion that Lock, Stock was a flash in the pan for Ritchie.
To all those who say Kermode just has prejudices towards films, it's worth pointing out that Guy Richie's latest film 'Sherlock Holmes' has been out a few weeks, and Kermode LOVED it. Mark just knows his films; he knows the difference between a crap film, and a good film. It's a shame the rest of us don't.
“Cake, cake, I like cake, get the shooters”
If you like Lock Stock and Snatch you'll like this
I really enjoyed the movie, the performances, the incredible cast, and also this review. Ha.
I saw Rock n Rolla when it came out and I honestly can't remember a thing about it other than that it was way too long and all over the place plot-wise.
+mrpandabites Same as, I watched it at the cinema and couldn't remember much about it, but since have watched it again and I quite enjoyed it.
.... so it was a Guy Ritchie movie 😅
Rocknrolla was a great movie.
Good Job Mark
10:54
"GO AWAY! You horrible man..."
I also quite enjoyed it.
Is this is a case of Kermode not liking Guy Ritchie personally? There are lots of bad movies reviewed by Kermode and he slates them but you don't see him this hateful too often.
He doesn't really mind the first two of his films and he liked the Sherlock film, so I would go with the films being individually atrocious
Davidchurch93 yeah Guy Ritchie and "Zack Snyder"!
7:55 I think you'll find you can be wrong three times, Simon.
I'd love to hear that interview with Simon and Guy Richie. If anyone can point me in the right direction that would be awesome.
Rocknrolla isn't a bad movie. I liked it. Kermode plainly has it in for some people. This Dyer thing of his seems an unhealthy obsession and he seems fixated on Ritchie too.
Snatch is legendary
Kermode liked Sherlock Holmes.
One of the funniest aspects of these reviews is that his anger and venom directed at the films makes me want to see them to confirm that they can actually be that bad!
I think there's more to Lock Stock and Snatch than what Kermode gives credit for.
8:01 "I know everyone's going to say that you hate this because you hate Guy Richie movies ... and it's true, I do hate Guy Richie movies." I have a sneaking suspicion that he hates Guy Richie movies.
I think he just hates Guy Ritchie.
It has a successful director, writer, big name stars and great cinematography, but it still manages to be sub par. Tom Wilkinson, Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Mark Strong, Tom Hardy, Idris Elba etc. all big names or big names now were in the film but couldn't get it critical acclaim, but enjoyable nonetheless.
Aah, "Revolver" the pre "Transformers" days...
@TulseLuper Who said I was looking for validation? I don't know what you're talking about.
Guys gonna like this
Kermode admits towards the end of the interview that he didn't get that Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels was a comedy the first time he saw it. That's just crazy.
He likes loads of films. If you bothered to watch/listen to all his available reviews, you'd be aware of that fact. As for Watchmen, his reasons made perfect sense. All style and no substance, which is something loads of people have said.
kermode is usually on the nose but misses the mark here by a long shot, for what the films worth.
paradoxically, he gave a positive one for that epic fuck up "Prometheus"
it just proves that "all knowledge is interpretation", as a wise man once put it.
Stfu dork.
It's a good movie
mark is fantastic,,,i often disagree with him VERY OFTEN,,,but i still love him
'I can't be wrong twice in a minute..'
The NME comment is golden.
Geezers Geezers Geezers!
And the winner for speedy slagging off goes too...
BTW I loved R&R very funny could watch it 100 times and would still crack me up.
"But Simon,..."
You think that's good, you should hear his Straightheads review. The entire thing is a Danny Dyer impression. I may upload that one, actually.
Do it. If you're still alive.
I don't think it's a 10 out of 10 movie, but it is fun to watch and it's not nearly as bad as he says.
i remember asking that too. yeah there are a bunch
so you liked it then
Ta dude, d'you have his review for the orphanage by any chance? Been looking for that one. Cheers
@CharlieSpeary he didnt,,the other 2 he referred to were SWEPT AWAY and REVOLVER
Guy Richie gets a lot of stick for making the films that essentially made the british underworld or at least the criminal community of London seem like unrealistic caricatures who speak in cockney rhyming slang, hang out in pubs and snooker halls and flash guns around despite living in London. The Richie films are entertaining to me because they are very much a gangster films with a comedic bent to them, you only have watch them for 10 minutes to see the formula.
would love to hear kermode review football factory. anyone know if he did??
Oh no doubt. Sometimes he even rants about films he really loves like when he tried to make Mayo see Hard Candy a few years ago.
A Guy Richie gangster film need not be bad or predictable to boot if he changed up his formula, not used the same tired clichés or motifs in his films. What's funny also is that Matt King, the guy played Guy Richie in Star Stories is in this film, so Richie does appreciate parody and satire. I don't hate this film, but I can see why this film ultimately is Guy Richie going back to what he knows and what's bankable, not terrible new or original. The film in new film parlance is a Talent Bomb.
Biggest Mark Kermode rage review i've heard. lol
go listen to Pirates of the C 3. He rants so much that Simon gets up and walks away and Dr K doesn't notice he's gone.
Guy Ritchie= A poor man's Tarantino.
As someone who is a friend of Toby Kebbell, the bad boy smack head, i liked seeing him in it. But in honestly it was 99% utter bollocks, pacing was all over the place, no clear narrative and I'm sure he stole that speech on cigarettes out the dustbin from Tarantino's cutting room!
Although the soundtrack was actually alright. Definitely got me into Lou Reed and I also love the Clash so I'll give it that.
Basically it's sounds like something that should be good and looks like something that could be good but actually it fumbles its way from one plot point to another. Wouldn't have minded seeing a sequel nonetheless at least then I could decide whether I want love it or hate it after all!
Darxcide 马克思 you're mates with Tobey Kebbell?