Lord you have spoken!! Thank you for this wonderful gift of ministry. I was so ignorant trying to blend a family.. but God has all the answers! “The definition of crazy is to figure out what doesn’t work and continue doing it!” Time to stop the crazy cycle! God is good!!
Marissa Phillips We are all God’s children believe or not . Your choice your life . God is for everyone, not everyone is for God. Sometimes He comes later in life :-)). Peace !
I preface my comment by saying I am not a believer so I am not being disingenuous. I know this man personally. I met him while I was a believer. I worked under him on a ministry staff. That was years ago. To this day, who’s influence and input in my life was and has benefited me personally. He is a good man who loves his wife. I may not share the same beliefs as he does anymore but that does not change the fact that he is a man of integrity, period. He is what I believe a Christian should be like if they were really representing their faith of love and kindness. Larry and his wife.
I don’t have step children but I’m divorced and a good chance is that my spouse will have children. I’m preparing myself for what’s to come and be the best I can be .
One thing he did not mention as step kids losing both parents to a new family stepparents and creating new kids half-siblings. The first child is now the second class citizen
Yep This was me. My parents only and when the split they remarried and had Other kids. I did not fit in either family. Their other kids always came first and I was abused by each stepparent.
I am a step-parent. I've moved in with my bf that has 2 kids + his stepdaughter. We have them every other weekend. The problem now, is that they don't understand English, I don't understand French. I took lessons, but was not enough. Due to that, I was never able to express myself. Every time we have them over, I get pushed to the back burner, and he expects me to be his partner. He physically told me i come 2nd after his kids. This hurts my feelings and it does reflect whenever they're here. It's not the kids' fault, but this has been going for 2 years now. There's just too much resentment built-up.
I try my best to raise our children but my wife doesn't let me be leader ofnour home. I struggle so much with this woman. I've never in my life been married this is first marriage and I can twll you this woman is one of the hardest hostile aggressive woman I've ever known. I need prayers I'm about to give up on this woman the lies arw getting old and idk what to do anymore to point I want to get out. Ny wife doesn't respect me and yells cusses me out in front of the kids when it's not her way or when she gets offended. Plz pray for me plz I've been suffering so much
Hang in there. I don’t know your dynamic but counseling helps. Start with yourself and work outward. I’m not an expert but I know if you can’t then God will. Keep your head up and look at your part in the situation and start there. Really ask what God’s will is with no pretense to the question and follow that, no matter how hard but you really really need to truly lean on God when it comes to this one
And what about those parents divorce again from the stepparents and then remarried another stepparent. Wtf, can't people just date! You have your home and i have mine. AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE JEALOUS STEPFATHERS AND STEPMOMS
See it’s my house, yes because I move a lot growing up as a child, and I told myself I wasn’t gonna move anymore when I got grown . I was gonna pay my own bills. So I did , I buy my house @ age 25 and now @ 36 I found a man that is my husband now four years later, Pay the lawyer to get visitation rights every other weekend to see his kid . His baby mama took away 10 or 11 years ago that he hadn’t seen that many years. Because thay were never merried. And I keep my stuff in the hall closet and I’ll let him have the closet in our bedroom and then there’s an extra room and my clothes are in there and then we get in it’s that same room we get it him a big long closet for his shirts. And the third room we made for his little girl , I went and got stuff for his kid. And he said I can’t say anything to her she’s got to warm up to me first. Like she had to get to know her dad. So I’m being patient with her with my husband it’s hard to be patient with . He finely told me after four years that he was bipolar years ago. Well this means he’s still bipolar. You just deal with it .
My husband said he would take care of me and my son. My new husband can’t stand my son. My son and I have been traveling through life on our own. My husband gets pissed and can’t stand us being in the same room. I worked on myself through counseling before I with held a relationship. My husband doesn’t understand I love my son heart and soul. My husband also inflicts jealousy of my son. I never would of married my husband if I knew this. I jumped in to this. I pray god well I know god will see us all through it. One more thing. My husband SHADOWS EVERYTHING I MEAN EVERYTHING I DO. Cross my legs he crosses my legs,. Anything he is my shadow. It’s a positive thing but is getting creepy
I was in the same thing as a step child step father abused me and my mom did nothing as he got her pregnant, i was molested and now i am grown and i never want anything ever to do with my mother again! She is at fault. Marriages isn't everything. People just date!
I wished l gad heard this 6 years earlier.. l would had still gotten a divirce BUT l could had sustained a decent relationship with my then step children. Unfortunately both their parents (as per them) were narcissists. I only can attest theur father is one. I should had known what it meant, wgen he not very happily said to me, l ""Had to"" take them in because they are minors and (their mother, whom he was divorcing) when that happened, had died. THAT right there explained the kind of father he was and the kind of husband he became, when l started caring for these, his children. It did not end up well for any of us. I litteraly was slmost killed by him, attacked by (the suffering) of his older son and left confused by the multiple personalities of his daughter, all product of their dysfunctional childhood and youth.
This is very helpful but I don't see a problem with the ex spouse being friendly. We have had my husbands ex-wife stay with us for Mardi Gras or Easter with the kids in the guest room because we spent the holiday all together. It was a way for both parents to spend time with the kids for a holiday and they still got to see my son, their little brother. I think each family has to do what is best. Whenever there was a disagreement they would just use the court order to solve it if they couldn't. The thing is, who is most important is the children. And they need both their parents. I don't have any issue with my husband speaking with his ex-wife about the kids and stuff.
@@uulie3517 My ex husband and I have a very good relationship. We did not at first, he wasnt allowed inside, neither was I. We had a business relationship based off court documents and if it wasnt on the papers it wasn't each others business. After a year or two of that (it was terrible and tore our daughter apart) we changed it. I called one day and expressed desire to bring back a friendship for the sake of our daughter. it took six months or so and it started for her but we really did become friends. I am best friends with his new wife, I love her! His kids with his second wife call me Aunt Dawni, I am also remarried. They stay at our house quite often and every year we plan a camping trip so our daughter can have her whole family together every once in awhile including their kids and mine and my husbands additional kids. They come over for dinner as well!. My daughter loves it, we communicate well and have striven for a real friendship (we have been divorced 10 years). I regret nothing except the period where we did not have a friendship. My current husband also has children from a previous marriage and him and his exwife have no friendship. They have her house and we have ours. We dont go in, we pull up and the kids come out and I have to tell you, its hard on those kids. Its always Mom OR Dad, never Mom AND Dad. They have struggled with jealousy that their parents dont have the same relationship and My ex and myself. We are completely monogamous and it works wonderfully. I agree with alot of what this gentleman said except that. IF you can not fight and build a real friendship it is so helpful and healing for children of divorce, If you cannot then his advice is sound but if you can I have seen so many benefits to including exes and their families in important moments like holidays and trips. To see my daughters eyes light up as she plays with her half brother and sisters from both sides together (she is the bridge that connects them all when we are together but the odd one out in both families when we are not) and when she hugs me and runs to hug her dad then her step dad and step mom is worth anything that is needed to make it happen. Shoving your ex out should not be doctrine
While I am a step child and I was treated badly I will say we have Hollywood to thank for this foolishness of having exes sleep over at your home etc. This is still someone you were intimate with. I have seen the opposite situation happen in these cases where the second marriage blew up because feelings were rekindled My ex is remarried and I wouldn’t want to sleep at his house with him and his wife. I don’t even want to be his friend . I tried that and it was not good for me . It’s over . That family unit is over .No need to chat it up and all of that with your ex. My ex is remarried and still when I would call about the kids he would bring up our marriage or ask if I’m seeing someone, or a “ remember when”… but you have a new wife I had to remind him. Anyways our children are now adults so we really don’t have to speak ever again.
No, DON'T DO THIS!!! Don't get married / or create a blended family. This should be considered as a form of child abuse. You can do whatever you wish when your children are 18 years old... yes EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD.
No that's not fair. It's all about how the parents handle the situation. Boundaries with partners and children need to be in place. Plus just because a child is 18 doesn't make being in a step families any easier.
First of all god prohibits remarriage. Personally I think single parents should have a good dating life but make sure their children's mental health comes first
Widows and widowers are allowed to remarry and become step parents or the people who marry them become step parents and this is very biblical. Someone may be raped when single and conceve a child. The person who will marry them in future will still be a step parent and this is very biblical. Kindly let us not judge step parents unfairly.
Lord you have spoken!! Thank you for this wonderful gift of ministry. I was so ignorant trying to blend a family.. but God has all the answers! “The definition of crazy is to figure out what doesn’t work and continue doing it!” Time to stop the crazy cycle! God is good!!
Great sermon! Step parenting is such a hard topic to talk on! Especially when people have never played the role! People just don't get us!
More especially if they aren't in those shoes
@@wendyroselinahmatjiaradebe9676 li
@@stephanieruiz3238 ??
Even as an atheist I got a lot of good advice and things to think about from this sermon. Thanks!
Marissa Phillips
We are all God’s children believe or not . Your choice your life .
God is for everyone, not everyone is for God. Sometimes He comes later in life :-)). Peace !
@@gratitude5740 I agree with half of that. it's In the bible Satan has children as well.
@@Thedragonangel what is your point?
His message was perfect…. Not worried about the religious aspect…..
I'm so grateful for your message on blended families. This is an imperative topic for Christian blended families.
I'm going through so much being in a blended family this is what I needed
I preface my comment by saying I am not a believer so I am not being disingenuous.
I know this man personally. I met him while I was a believer. I worked under him on a ministry staff. That was years ago. To this day, who’s influence and input in my life was and has benefited me personally. He is a good man who loves his wife. I may not share the same beliefs as he does anymore but that does not change the fact that he is a man of integrity, period. He is what I believe a Christian should be like if they were really representing their faith of love and kindness. Larry and his wife.
… why would 1 walk away from the Faith? ✝️
Best advise ever. I pray for peace, love and safety for my children and family.
Wow this was great. He touched on so many topics!
EVERYTHING you said was awesome! it's like you read my mind and answered all my questions! thank you so much
What an absolutely excellent way of rearing blended kids n spouses... wow! Bravo to you sir.
This is what I have been looking for the past 5 years. Thank you.
Wow! wished I'd watched this 5 1/2 years ago. good stuff. Thank you.
Thank you this open my eyes on a lot of things I was doing wrong and will be a great topics of discussion and have game plan
Time and time again it's amazing to hear this and a blessing to me
Thank you. This truly blessed my heart!
I don’t have step children but I’m divorced and a good chance is that my spouse will have children. I’m preparing myself for what’s to come and be the best I can be .
Don't! Just date. Trust me! I was a step child
Don't do it!
I’m so sick of being attached to broken families and seeing favoritism. Ugh! I def don’t belong in this era
You are seen
Thank you for your wise and understanding of the hardships of blend families.
One thing he did not mention as step kids losing both parents to a new family stepparents and creating new kids half-siblings. The first child is now the second class citizen
Yep
This was me. My parents only and when the split they remarried and had
Other kids. I did not fit in either family. Their other kids always came first and I was abused by each stepparent.
"Don't demand that stuff just to test their love."
Good advice. Jealousy is an unnecessary evil when it comes to sharing love.
Im gonna make my fiance watch this so he can understand where im coming from
I really needed this. Thank you for posting.
Where's this church at I need to go there
I like this Man! Great video thanks for sharing
Great info! Planning to get married next year so this is perfect timing to hear a message like this 🙏🏽
I am a step-parent. I've moved in with my bf that has 2 kids + his stepdaughter. We have them every other weekend. The problem now, is that they don't understand English, I don't understand French. I took lessons, but was not enough.
Due to that, I was never able to express myself. Every time we have them over, I get pushed to the back burner, and he expects me to be his partner.
He physically told me i come 2nd after his kids. This hurts my feelings and it does reflect whenever they're here. It's not the kids' fault, but this has been going for 2 years now. There's just too much resentment built-up.
Great great great advice
He just told her to call me Emily, & her name is Emily, I think she needs to say Ms. Emily, but I’m not gonna push it
I try my best to raise our children but my wife doesn't let me be leader ofnour home. I struggle so much with this woman. I've never in my life been married this is first marriage and I can twll you this woman is one of the hardest hostile aggressive woman I've ever known. I need prayers I'm about to give up on this woman the lies arw getting old and idk what to do anymore to point I want to get out. Ny wife doesn't respect me and yells cusses me out in front of the kids when it's not her way or when she gets offended. Plz pray for me plz I've been suffering so much
Hang in there. I don’t know your dynamic but counseling helps. Start with yourself and work outward. I’m not an expert but I know if you can’t then God will. Keep your head up and look at your part in the situation and start there. Really ask what God’s will is with no pretense to the question and follow that, no matter how hard but you really really need to truly lean on God when it comes to this one
So good! ❤
Thank you Ned Flanders
And what about those parents divorce again from the stepparents and then remarried another stepparent. Wtf, can't people just date! You have your home and i have mine. AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE JEALOUS STEPFATHERS AND STEPMOMS
Because “dating” is not the end goal for most people. Most people
Want commitment (marriage).
@@rb7454 and a 50-60% redivorce rate.
What of when the dad has never been in the picture.
What about entitled adult step son and daughter?
They are entitled to their parents love and attention despite you being there
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Here in 2024
Awesome Sermon
Stay safe And don't get caught.
See it’s my house, yes because I move a lot growing up as a child, and I told myself I wasn’t gonna move anymore when I got grown . I was gonna pay my own bills. So I did , I buy my house @ age 25 and now @ 36 I found a man that is my husband now four years later, Pay the lawyer to get visitation rights every other weekend to see his kid . His baby mama took away 10 or 11 years ago that he hadn’t seen that many years. Because thay were never merried. And I keep my stuff in the hall closet and I’ll let him have the closet in our bedroom and then there’s an extra room and my clothes are in there and then we get in it’s that same room we get it him a big long closet for his shirts. And the third room we made for his little girl , I went and got stuff for his kid. And he said I can’t say anything to her she’s got to warm up to me first. Like she had to get to know her dad. So I’m being patient with her with my husband it’s hard to be patient with . He finely told me after four years that he was bipolar years ago. Well this means he’s still bipolar. You just deal with it .
My husband said he would take care of me and my son. My new husband can’t stand my son. My son and I have been traveling through life on our own. My husband gets pissed and can’t stand us being in the same room.
I worked on myself through counseling before I with held a relationship.
My husband doesn’t understand I love my son heart and soul.
My husband also inflicts jealousy of my son.
I never would of married my husband if I knew this.
I jumped in to this. I pray god well I know god will see us all through it.
One more thing.
My husband SHADOWS EVERYTHING I MEAN EVERYTHING I DO.
Cross my legs he crosses my legs,. Anything he is my shadow. It’s a positive thing but is getting creepy
I was in the same thing as a step child step father abused me and my mom did nothing as he got her pregnant, i was molested and now i am grown and i never want anything ever to do with my mother again! She is at fault. Marriages isn't everything. People just date!
I wished l gad heard this 6 years earlier.. l would had still gotten a divirce BUT l could had sustained a decent relationship with my then step children. Unfortunately both their parents (as per them) were narcissists. I only can attest theur father is one. I should had known what it meant, wgen he not very happily said to me, l ""Had to"" take them in because they are minors and (their mother, whom he was divorcing) when that happened, had died. THAT right there explained the kind of father he was and the kind of husband he became, when l started caring for these, his children. It did not end up well for any of us. I litteraly was slmost killed by him, attacked by (the suffering) of his older son and left confused by the multiple personalities of his daughter, all product of their dysfunctional childhood and youth.
I struggle with doing "anything" for the new spouse. My children are my 1st priority.
Gad saad Cinderella effect
Your marriage is doomed if you put your kids first.
@@justsojourning she cares more about her kids.
Then why be with that person? So unfair for the other person. Grow up and stop being selfish
This is very helpful but I don't see a problem with the ex spouse being friendly. We have had my husbands ex-wife stay with us for Mardi Gras or Easter with the kids in the guest room because we spent the holiday all together. It was a way for both parents to spend time with the kids for a holiday and they still got to see my son, their little brother. I think each family has to do what is best. Whenever there was a disagreement they would just use the court order to solve it if they couldn't. The thing is, who is most important is the children. And they need both their parents. I don't have any issue with my husband speaking with his ex-wife about the kids and stuff.
Keep doing that until it comes blowing up in your face. #wisefools
Boundaries are necessary
@@uulie3517 My ex husband and I have a very good relationship. We did not at first, he wasnt allowed inside, neither was I. We had a business relationship based off court documents and if it wasnt on the papers it wasn't each others business. After a year or two of that (it was terrible and tore our daughter apart) we changed it. I called one day and expressed desire to bring back a friendship for the sake of our daughter. it took six months or so and it started for her but we really did become friends. I am best friends with his new wife, I love her! His kids with his second wife call me Aunt Dawni, I am also remarried. They stay at our house quite often and every year we plan a camping trip so our daughter can have her whole family together every once in awhile including their kids and mine and my husbands additional kids. They come over for dinner as well!. My daughter loves it, we communicate well and have striven for a real friendship (we have been divorced 10 years). I regret nothing except the period where we did not have a friendship.
My current husband also has children from a previous marriage and him and his exwife have no friendship. They have her house and we have ours. We dont go in, we pull up and the kids come out and I have to tell you, its hard on those kids. Its always Mom OR Dad, never Mom AND Dad. They have struggled with jealousy that their parents dont have the same relationship and My ex and myself. We are completely monogamous and it works wonderfully. I agree with alot of what this gentleman said except that.
IF you can not fight and build a real friendship it is so helpful and healing for children of divorce, If you cannot then his advice is sound but if you can I have seen so many benefits to including exes and their families in important moments like holidays and trips. To see my daughters eyes light up as she plays with her half brother and sisters from both sides together (she is the bridge that connects them all when we are together but the odd one out in both families when we are not) and when she hugs me and runs to hug her dad then her step dad and step mom is worth anything that is needed to make it happen. Shoving your ex out should not be doctrine
@Mike Fedak Mardi gras is a holiday in Louisiana
While I am a step child and I was treated badly I will say we have Hollywood to thank for this foolishness of having exes sleep over at your home etc. This is still someone you were intimate with. I have seen the opposite situation happen in these cases where the second marriage blew up because feelings were rekindled My ex is remarried and I wouldn’t want to sleep at his house with him and his wife. I don’t even want to be his friend . I tried that and it was not good for me . It’s over . That family unit is over .No need to chat it up and all of that with your ex. My ex is remarried and still when I would call about the kids he would bring up our marriage or ask if I’m seeing someone, or a “ remember when”… but you have a new wife I had to remind him. Anyways our children are now adults so we really don’t have to speak ever again.
What If me and
My sons father was never married
What is a step sister?
not sure how I got this. It doesn't promote family to me
No, DON'T DO THIS!!! Don't get married / or create a blended family. This should be considered as a form of child abuse. You can do whatever you wish when your children are 18 years old... yes EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD.
No that's not fair. It's all about how the parents handle the situation. Boundaries with partners and children need to be in place. Plus just because a child is 18 doesn't make being in a step families any easier.
@@sarahhumphreys3980 no
my comment was deleted? how Christian an caring about children. NOT!
First of all god prohibits remarriage.
Personally I think single parents should have a good dating life but make sure their children's mental health comes first
Step parents are not biblical.
True
Widows and widowers are allowed to remarry and become step parents or the people who marry them become step parents and this is very biblical.
Someone may be raped when single and conceve a child. The person who will marry them in future will still be a step parent and this is very biblical.
Kindly let us not judge step parents unfairly.
@@gabrielojowa5092 we should.
@@gabrielojowa5092 stepparents don’t have the true love for the child as a natural parent.
Joseph was a step dad to Jesus.
Jealousy is a sin. You and your wife need to be delivered!!
SDS 1Love hahahaha oh no God forbid he be human 😂