What's our gender *really*?
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Can you feel like a woman while thinking the usual man-or-woman dichotomy is heavily outdated? Is gender how we feel, what we do, or how we present (or all three and more)?
If the current political climate has taught us anything, it is that gender is a really complex thing that many people feel strongly about - one way or the other! We do too, and now we've made a video about it to ramble through our thoughts!
Ready for more rambling? You could always check out our Instagram accounts!
/ anya.apples
/ everyday_jackie
/ wives.vs.world
Art by the wonderful Lukael on Twitter: / lukael
Music credits:
"Brandenburg Concerto No4-1 BWV1049 - Classical Whimsical" by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 licence. creativecommon...
Source: incompetech.com...
Artist: incompetech.com/
”Mountain Sun” and "Redwood Trail" by Audionautix is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. creativecommon...
Artist: audionautix.com/
You two are quintessentially cute…bordering on too sweet. Even so, I really like your channel. The topics don’t really matter, it’s the physical performance, both of you together acting out your love for each other. It warms my heart. Thanks for sharing.
This is so sweet 😭 thank you so much for all the super kind words! It's nice to know that we have a bit of leeway with the topics and someone will still watch haha ❤
I often have to use labels to describe who I am now to others. I understand the societal need for them and they can help with clarification, but they can tire me out. Lately I have just been saying "I am simply Tash" in response and it has gone over better then I thought as people realize I am just trying to be me. "They/Them" has been nice as I am not ready for "She/Her" yet and who knows if I will ever identify that way HRT or not.
I will state, I have had some fun saying I am a "Transbian" to people as of late and most get it. Who has time to say and explain "Translesbian" ? Loved the piece you two and I love how you both explored and debated how you each identify. You both also get so enthralled in each other's explanations and I just adore that. I get enthralled by EACH of you after all! May the Yule season find you two safe and well. What a good video!
P.S. if you also wish to identify as "Tash", I have no problems with that. " Tash" can be the "beyond" Jackie was describing ;-) , but I leave the resultant confusion after with others to you! I may even encourage that confusion! ;-) Be well and feel loved.
Hahahha I might just identify as Tash from now on :')
Thank you so much for all your sweet words ❤❤❤
Adonis has gotten so big! I highly appreciated his cuteness but was so worried about his claws so close to Jackie's tights. XD
Also, I feel real called out by this video. Similar to Anya, I use the label "cis woman" out of convenience, but like Jackie, sometimes I identify strongly with the term "woman" and sometimes I do not. I feel disingenuous to call myself non-binary, though sometimes the baggage that comes with being a "woman" feels gross and like submitting to the patriarchy, like what Jackie said about the baggage that comes with being a "man". I have certainly become more feminine presenting (wearing skirts and makeup and stuff) as I've become more attuned to my queerness and found fashions inspired by lolita and steampunk and mori-kei that appeal to me more than revealing clothing by fast fashion brands that are made for the male gaze. In fact, I sometimes dress in what would be considered a more girly fashion than most cis women around me who never question their gender identity (tbh wearing anything besides a sweatshirt and blue jeans is out of the norm where I live). I agree this is an interesting conversation. I have often found that fringe fashion communities like lolita tend to be composed of more queers than not. I think it might have something to do with that arc of self-discovery that so many of us have to go through and finding ways to rebel against the system by showing control over the way we present our bodies.
Ty for helping the little beans (aka me lol) on their gender journey!🫶🫶
Aw that's so sweet 🥺 thank you for watching! ❤️
I learned not that long ago about the word demigirl/demiwoman (and equivalent for boy/man), how you feel you identify with the gender sometimes but not all the times, on the non-binary spectrum. Sometimes I feel like I could identify with a term like that and other times I feel like I don’t care enough to specify my label 😅
I just love the chats you two have about deep and important subjects. A very interesting discussion I think many would be interested in is exactly where does gender identification/disphoria come from-and yes the story usually goes along the lines of chemical/hormonal imbalance at birth,social upbringing ,problems etc -some of these may be relevant but I know it definitely comes from a previous life identifying as a particular gender,don't know your belief in this but it answers all the questions,I have done a lot of research into this plus personal experience-many people who have had past life regression are either female or male in various lives,it's worth thinking about and discussing-hope you can have a talk about this-you both have great fashion sense-Love you.❤
That's a very interesting topic, thanks for suggesting it!!
I stayed up to watch! Haha.
2 days ago one of my best friends told me that they changed their pronouns to they/them. Which is totally great and I told them so, but to be honest I am in the camp who doesn't have what I would consider a true sense of understanding of what that entails. It's somewhat of a new concept to me, I imagine partially from my being sheltered growing up and not knowing anything at all about gender beyond "boy" and "girl". Sometimes I feel like I am not able to engage as well as I would like. The respect and the happiness is there, because if someone is expressing who they are that is always something to celebrate; but I don't think I have the ability/education to properly empathize.
And that's just for others, as for me, I've always been comfortable with my gender assigned at birth. But that isn't to say or comment on any other possibilities, just that this one specific instance of my life I happened to be okay with. It's a lot to think about, a lot to read about I'm sure.
Wonderful video, thanks to you two for something so beneficial 😊
This is so interesting to hear! Your attitude about it is so nice ❤ I feel like a lot of people who don't really understand can feel kind of angry about it and have a need to understand it to respect people (like I said in the video) but I think it's very valid to not necessarily understand how other people experience their gender identity! As long as we're kind and caring to each other, I honestly think "understanding" is secondary 🤷♀️ thank you for your kind words and insight! 🥰
@@WivesVsWorld have you heard of youtubers like nostalgia critic, angry video game nerd, cinema snob, film brain, obscurus lupa, linkara, phelous, nostalgia chick, todd in the shadows, and rap critic
I loved every minute of your video. I think what we are seeing is society is moving towards separating sex assigned at birth from gender, gender presentation, and sexual orientation. To me, this is very healthy for all humans, allowing us to express ourselves in the full range of human behaviors and not limited to 'two boxes'. I think people should be allowed to express themselves in anyway they like and, as they better understand themselves, not be criticized or looked down upon for that changing over time. I see folks of younger generations as questioning all of this and as something that is very healthy. The problem with society as I see it, at least right now, is people's minds are still stuck in the binary, so, if one doesn't feel that fits them in their perception of themselves, the easiest way to describe themselves in this context is to say I'm trans or non-binary. No other 'easy' labels fit in a world stuck on using two boxes. It's taken me some time to come to these conclusions and then see how I personally fit in this view and understanding of the world.
For me, I know I love some 'masculine' things such as cars and technology but there is so much more I love about 'feminine' things and truly feel they are more a part of me and have always been so, even if I've lived most of my life in the masculine role. I've tried different labels as I have come upon them, verifying their definitions and seeing if they fit in how I understand myself. But I came to the conclusion it wasn't healthy for me to constantly go through this process. About 2 years ago I decided I wouldn't consider labels anymore. Instead I would concentrate on what my head, heart and feelings are telling me are my truth. I'm happier following this path. To define myself to others, I'm an older transgender woman. Or my preferred definition: An older, happily married woman of a later, but actually a life long, transgender experience.
All the Best to You Both! Enjoy!
Hugs!
Christie
Thank you so much and thank you for adding your thoughts and insight! 🥰
Anya, you are wrong 14:00. This video IS providing answers. You and your identity do NOT have to fit into a box, the answer can be "it's complicated."
Aw this is so sweet ;A; and very validating ❤️ thank you so much.
You could be describing me and my partner, omg. I'm cis female but can be a bit gender nonconforming, especially with my personality. Enya put it into words better than I could. And my girlfriend is hyper feminine trans woman, definitely in her personality, but she isn't where she wants to be physically yet.
Best discussion about this topic ever. Couldn’t agree more.
15:50 I feel very discovered, thank you!
Gender is both so simple and so complex
Always happy to discover you! 😂❤
Isn't it just! Which also makes it so interesting to talk about haha ^^
Great video. Tusind tak! I wish more people had more info about trans issues. Jeg er en trans kvinde og bor i US. I feel like even supportive people get my pronouns wrong unless I’m presenting very feminine. People don’t seem to understand that I’m a woman no matter how I look. You two always do a great job explaining things. ❤️🏳️⚧️
You both have amazing style! For me, 🏳️⚧️, I love dressing up in maxi skirts, florals, fitting clothes because im awesome😊 But mostly because I feel more feminine like that. But I do like wearing a leather biker jacket sometimes as well😉 I guess it's just as someone feels like at a given moment that dictates how you should dress up. But for me it's totally fem💙💜🤍
I deeply recognise being a trans woman who's relationship to gender is considerably complicated beyond that label
I identify as a Trans Woman. I'm also gender non-conforming which can be fun too.
Thank you for being honest and sharing your truth it makes me feel like my wife and I have kindred spirits out there in the world
Yesss that's wonderful!
We're trying to be as true to ourselves as possible, even if it doesn't always makes sense haha ❤️ so happy to have you here ✨️
@@WivesVsWorld❤❤❤
So interesting! I was just doing some research of this! The first time I ever heard the term cis, a friend at college telling me all about how she identifies as a cis woman. I thought I knew what she meant until she told me that of course I was a cis woman also, which made me totally confused. From what I have seen, cis is when you identify with your gender assigned to you at birth and your female/male body because you are comfortable with it, and maybe if you are a girl you are feminine and kind of traditionally girly. This very much describes my college friend, but I have never felt anything like that. But she insisted I am cis and when I said no that doesnt sound right, she said that means I’m trans! 😵💫 I did some googling about it and got into a bunch of research, I even asked some of my friends “do you feel you are a girl bc you are comfortable with your body and gender roles?” and they laughed at me bc they thought it was a joke 😅 which in hindsight… Yeah I have never met a woman who didn’t wish she was a boy sometimes! A lot of my friends are tomboys but still… I now think that cis/trans is more of a spectrum than a binary. There are some people who actively identify as a woman or a man because that’s what they are comfortable with, whether they are cis or trans, and thats okay for them! But there are some people - like me and some of my friends - who just are a woman or a man because they have always been one and don’t see why they wouldn’t be one, not because of any kind of feeling inside. I used to say I am a “born woman” or a “biological woman” but I was told not to do that anymore, so now I’m saying “obligatory woman” haha. Just regular “woman” cuts it for most people though. This is a really interesting channel and I love the conversation! Sorry for the rant haha 😅
i'm genderqueer (they/them pronouns) because my gender identity is basically the shrug emoji 😆 it's an enigma that doesn't fit into the male/female binary, and i honestly love that it's so ambiguous and undefinable to even me 💚
Yesss I definitely relate! It's a lovely place to be haha ❤
Me looking at Adonis the whole time. lol
100% valid hahaha ❤
👌🏻💚❤️✅✅✅
You two are too cute togather. Two very pretty women.
To be very honest, i still hawe not fully figured out my actual gender, it feels as i am not fitting in anywhere in the gender categories, not even in between... Perhaps i am a mushroom and hawe a 4th gener i guess... ha ha
Enya… Sounds like you want to be a drag king!
i identify as used.
Just a CIS Gender male, who loves Transgendered Women. Pre-op.