No.1 Happiness Scientist: How To NOT Be Miserable In Life & BURN OUT... | Laurie Santos
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 сер 2023
- Laurie Santos is a professor of psychology at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. Her ‘Science of Wellbeing’ course became the most popular in the university’s history and has developed into a global phenomenon, with over three million people signing up to study Laurie’s evidence-based strategies for happiness.
In this conversation, Laurie shares exactly what those happiness boosting strategies actually are. She also explains how being happy with your life, differs from being happy in your life and how balancing the two is key to overall happiness. We also cover the relationship between money and happiness and discuss the unfortunate reality that when it comes to happiness, our intuition is often wrong.
We discuss maximising social connections, being thankful, being present, exercising and sleeping more - things we know are good for us but often lack the motivation to seek out. We also talk about how technology can both help and hinder social connections, how helping others is preferable to helping ourselves, and the incredible benefits of a daily gratitude practice.
This is a wide-ranging and uplifting chat that really breaks down the psychology of happiness and Laurie’s suggestions will help you start working towards greater contentment starting today. The best news is that the tools to our happiness are simple and free.
#feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast
-------
Sign up to my new newsletter - Friday Five drchatterjee.com/fridayfive
Order Happy Mind Happy Life. UK version amzn.to/304opgJ, US & Canada version amzn.to/3DRxjgp
Feel Great Lose Weight is available to order in the UK amzn.to/2W6bsOE and in the US & Canada amzn.to/2GWPgls
Dr Chatterjee’s book Feel Better in 5 is out now in the UK amzn.to/2G0XK7l and in the US and Canada amzn.to/2EB2oM0
Order Dr Chatterjee’s book The Stress Solution amzn.to/2MZ8u8h
Find Dr Chatterjee’s 4 Pillars of Health in The 4 Pillar Plan available via amzn.to/2yGfpuB
The US version, How to Make Disease Disappear is available via amzn.to/2Gj1YEL
-----
Listen to all previous podcast episodes on drchatterjee.com/podcast or via these podcast platforms by searching for 'Feel Better, Live More'.
Apple Podcasts apple.co/feelbetterlivemore
Acast www.acast.com/feelbetterlivemore
Stitcher www.stitcher.com/podcast/feel...
Spotify open.spotify.com/show/6NyPQfc...
-----
Follow Dr Chatterjee at:
Website: drchatterjee.com/
Facebook: / drchatterjee
Twitter: / drchatterjeeuk
Instagram: / drchatterjee
Newsletter: drchatterjee.com/subscription
DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
I think true happiness comes from feeling at peace with your life.
I needed to hear this big time because I’m going through a stressful time in my life, I’m also having a mid life crisis. God help us all🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Just keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with you, you're ok
❤
You and me, I honestly must have spent my years so upset, angry, depressed and so forth. It's something I'll be working on.
How are you today?
@@mommum. I am 41yr old male and everything is great in my life, wonderful wife, two great boys, and stress free job,yet something feels wrong. I think things may stem from childhood from being from a divorced family, emotionally neglectful parents. One day at a time I guess. Good wishes of happiness to you🙏
I finally said fuck it this summer. Went down to working part time. Yes I’m making less but I’m going to the beach and I’m doing creative projects. I’m actually living
Well done! I think more of us need to consider this. I could chase another promotion but have given too much time already to work with little reward.
Fuck it is one of my favorite inspirational quotes..LOL..good for you! I think it's ridiculous how people think we should win awards for whoever is the most miserable or the biggest victim. We BRAG about how little sleep we got last night, how much overtime we worked, or who is struggling the most. It's ridiculous. Cheers to creativity and beach time.
In my own journey iv realized that any social connection which is not meaningful and doesn't add value makes me more miserable. I'd honestly just be by myself and feel happy and peaceful. I really don't think it's a one size fits all. Community helps only if people don't judge you, are at the same wave length as you , and you can have deep meaningful, purpose driven talks . If I go out with someone who just wants to go have a drink and needs company and has nothing substantial to talk , its pure misery . I'd rather read, listen to a podcast or watch a movie.
Agree 100%❤
Couldn’t agree more. I’m blissfully happy alone. The second I have to commit to a social event, that peace is broken.
Simple connections with others that’s what I like. I’m an introvert so being by myself is what’s for me. I’m pretty happy and I enjoy saying hi to my neighbors as I walk which is twice a day. I love my walks. I also enjoy the simple things like having my coffee on my terrace in the morning and my books and just chatting with the grocery store clerk at the register. It’s enough. I’m happy just sitting in a cafe just watching others. I guess being a writer I enjoy seeing others going about their life.
Beautiful! Love this. Thank you for sharing.
As someone who is neurodivergent, I find technology to be very helpful. It has allowed me to communicate in ways that are easier for me. I wish my university days had been quieter and with less emphasis on social interaction
I always feel more connected to my childhood when everything was simple. Simple joys
Connecting with your fellow humans is important. However, if you're job requires that you connect with and help people with their problems all day, the last thing you want to do when you're not at work is connect with a stranger and hear about all their problems as well. This tends to happen to those of us who are nice; we're a magnet for strangers with problems who want to tell us their whole life story when you say hi or just smile at them in the checkout line or elsewhere. You don't want to be rude so you listen politely while trying to not appear inconvenienced or annoyed. For those of us in that category, putting on head phones to give ourselves space to recharge and be left to our own thoughts is necessary for our sanity so we're not sucked dry by energy vampires everywhere everday. I'm obviously burned out from helping people, I thought this podcast episode would address how to prevent that given the title... but rather it focuses on how to feel more connected and be of service to others.
I have expereinced this in my life as well when I was younger,I was a people pleaser and what is now labelled an "empath"I suppose,but I was always so ready to listen to others or others would just offload on me.
I have learnt boundaries now and think boundaries and not worrying about that others think if it means protecting my own mental health and personal boundaries and limits.
This is essential for anyone in any caring profession particularly and also makes in the long run for more effective carring as you are not taking on what is not yours to take on and giving the other person their agency and accountability which they will need also if they are to change their life etc.
Taking on others people stuff so as not to appear rude doesn't serve anyone in the end and as you say leads to your own burnout.Boundaries are always necessary and a boundary is not the same as being emotionally unavailable or insensitive,it serves both the "helper"and the helped",in the end as then both know what are their respective responsibilities and roles
The ‘startup cost’ of breaking the ice is a brilliant insight! In London it is so loud and busy at the end of the day I need some quiet but on a daily basis I try to keep tech out off the dinner table ❤i
What an awesome video! I really enjoyed this and learned so much. I struggle with depression and the older I get I realized it’s tied to some loneliness and wanting more connection in my life. This really helped. Thank you!
Another fantastic interview, thanks to you both!! Really needed this today 🙏❤️
I love these discussions❤
Incredibly meaningful conversation
Correct. All the things all the trappings all the glamor and glitter don't equate with true happiness. Rather our relationships and those we hold as nearest and dearest to us can and would. Should. We are all challenged to turn our lives into meaningful exchanges. Walking down old time worn paths. Pondering essential truths. Minimizing the distress . Do we need all these complex situations and a life filled with difficulty? So how do we simplify and truly enjoy. "Taking time to smell the roses" . A rose is a rose and there are thorns among them.
I have twin daughters the first has a lot of social connections and the second one not, I would NOT say that the first is any happier than the second, in fact the first is more easily agitated than the second! So I would say that it is quality not quantity of social interaction and obviously it’s personality based! Furthermore as the world gets more expensive in every aspect, the less people do with their lives and for some the only entertainment is the TV which has got very dark and depressing!!!! May be scientist need to do a big study on the affects of TV as I am sure that is not helping! Technology has made it all too easy for people to compare themselves to each other - another happiness diminisher! Until something changes with all of this NOTHINg will change with people!
I didn't take to social media/phones right away, but I didn't like how it felt hanging out with people that were on their phones all the time. Eventually I started doing the same because it was better than being the only one that didn't. That's partly what makes it so difficult to cut back on. In some situations I still try not to get my phone out and someone commented on that recently as a positive.
Pushing back against emerging societal directions is not controversial... it's good. It's called critical thinking.
🎯
Social connection is very important to me, but I find that the social connections have to have some sort of purpose rather than just aimless socializing. For instance, I like to volunteer, or do art or other projects. I have a helper personality.
As someone who has made 1 million dollars in the past 5 years, money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy freedom if you choose to use it this way, which gives you happiness.
Both my son and daughter have died in tragic, separate, accidents. My savings and investments were stolen in Madoff type circumstances. Now at 73 years old and physically disabled, living on $700/month social security, total income, my bank account was robbed this week leaving me with $53 pesos ( @$2 USDs)
( yes, I had to move to Mexico because I couldn’t pay basic necessities in USA).
No money at all now for Rx medications, electricity, water, no insurance, food, telephone, WiFi etc. I needed this video to just keep trying to go on.
So grateful I still have WiFi, until it’s time to pay this month.
You've been there. When your well being needs quality time, your gut needs your approval to feel loved by you for a while. Smiles to you. 🤸♀️🎵😁Thanks for sharing.
The only social cinnection i have is going to therapists and shopping and work. I literally have no other interaction with people
People who work at grocery stores and coffee shops are SO underpaid they are unhappy and having worked in those industries I didn't want to be talked to I just wanted to do my job and get on to the next thing. I purposely don't chit chat with these kinds of workers bc we both just want to get on with our day. I actually love self check out, bc it's always old ppl at the grocer that want to talk - and I don't want to. I'm so so so mad that my local grocer does not have self check out so I make my husband do the local grocery shopping and I do the costco where they have self check out.
Also why do men talk to me it's never women. Women just mind their own business unless someones energy really vibes with their own. I dye my hair funky colors and men stopped talking to me! Literally amazing! And I know that the men who do still talk to accept me in a liberal sense and I know that the men who would have normally talked to me with natural colored hair are conservative.
Once i was in london struggling with a suitcase on the tube and i was asking a guy if he could help me put it up on the rack above and he pulled his magazine up over his face. I looked around and evwryone else was doing the same thing. This was in 1995. Haha....cant imagine how bad it is now
Brahmacharya and specifically saving your sexual energy(semen retention for example) is the ultimate way to happiness, there is nothing else that gives one permanent satisfaction, i'm just putting this out there, may be life changing for somebody who knows...
I'm from the south of England and had a similar experience in Manchester - where somebody plonked themselves beside me and started chatting away like he'd known me for yours. It was really alarming at the time!
People are noticeably happier making chit chat and small talk randomly in Manchester
Yes the same happened to me when visiting Manchester. Random people just spoke to me in the street or shops, it seemed so strange as first
🙏❤️
I check my emails once a month and facebook hardly ever. I use my phone only to listen to youtube and call people and text actual people. Social media i dispise with a passion now.
Actually a lot of the things she mentions are the standard practice of AA or NA
So billionaires, if you want to use your money to create happiness, make me a millionaire!
Please!
I can afford to do what I want and go on any holiday id like....but I have nobody to do anything with 😞I don't think that you can have it all
Many years ago I heard about a travel company for single people, but it wasn't a dating type thing like it sounds..the agency would pair you up with a same sex person with similar age, interests etc.. so single travelers had someone to walk around with, dine with, check in with, split the cost of the hotel room with etc.. I wonder if things like that still exist.
wow really?
Hi Louise I see this with my friends - maybe those who inherited - or just lucked out in finding a profession that paid better- It looks hard from both sides of the connection. Perhaps offer to help your friend pay to go on holiday? It might make it harder to save up yourself but making great memories together with friends - isn’t that what life is about?
@@EastWind785 its not that they cant afford it its that they are all coupled off or have children so physically can't come. I actually only have a handful of friends and family too due to career choices I made over the years
Dear viewer, you cannot afford to be poor.
Do not die as a wage slave, buy your freedom.
When we get out of the 4th turning and into to new cycle, money will not be the ultimate value
I bought the better in 5 book but can’t find the flute exercises on your website - where do I find them?
S//HE will IF You allow it.
I am still learning...
What about animals? People who have pets? They seem to habe a huge effect.
I recently read that when a cat purrs or a dog wags it's tail those are indications of the most pure form of unconditional love, and it's likely pretty true.
I accidently adopted a couple of cats and kittens a few years ago cause they were randomly born on my porch - they still live here and yes they're great for happiness,
tho luckily i've been generally happy most of my life
Laurie Santos Cleaver young woman I am 63.
❤️💖❤️🙏💖❤️💖
Verily in the rememberance of Allah do hearts find rest. Quran - 13:28
Happiness is not a permanent destination nor a route...... religious people are happier because they are grateful to the source who is God....
I would like to know who the people are grateful to when they eat or see.....when they believe in no source and no God.....
Service to others is the rent we pay for our place on earth.......it's part and parcel of Islam........I will go the more than the extra mile more than anyone I know of other faiths and the faithless.......we are equal except in piety.......piety is the only one that elevates your status with God....and that automatically increases your happiness.....
I’d rather be miserable with money that without! WHY?
Because with the money, at least I can SUFFER in STYLE and COMFORT...
Love love love how she explained this. One of my favorites from your channel. Thank you both!
90 min repetition of 1 statement : use phones less. What about some reference to healthy movements and how to create healthy relationships.
I love you both! Interestingly enough, I listen to both of you separately. Always such great advice offered. Thank you both ❤❤!!!
His videos would be very helpful with time stamps and topics discussed
She looks like Andrea from BB
This is me. wow. I didnt expect to be happy but i didnt think I'd feel like a failure because everyone else is doing so much better. lol i thought success would at least let you feel successful. It doesnt.
This guy has to pay a fortune to be promoted. I’m not subscribed and he starts playing after loads of my videos!
I could fee happier if we here a person talking in a relaxed way and not galloping through the material. We have too much rushing in our world today.
0:07: 😃 Money does not necessarily bring happiness, and the pursuit of wealth can lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
7:26: 😊 Our intuitions about what makes us happy are often wrong, and changing our circumstances does not necessarily lead to lasting happiness.
14:46: 👥 Social connection is a key factor in improving well-being and happiness, and even talking to strangers can have a positive impact.
21:42: 😔 The use of technology, particularly social media, is causing people to feel lonelier and miss out on real-life social connections.
29:10: 📱 The presence of smartphones can significantly impact our attention, social connection, and happiness.
36:08: 😊 The speaker suggests strategies to reduce phone usage and increase happiness, such as removing social media apps, creating explicit norms, and paying attention to how the phone makes you feel.
43:03: 👥 Social connections and positive emotions have a significant impact on happiness and health.
49:45: 📱 Being mindful of our screen usage and focusing on meaningful connections can improve our well-being.
56:54: 😊 Engaging in religious practices and being present in the moment can improve our well-being and happiness.
1:05:46: ✨ Gratitude plays a significant role in boosting happiness and well-being.
1:11:54: 🧘♂ Reframing our reactions to negative events can help us find happiness and control over our emotions.
1:18:48: 🌟 Happiness can be found in challenging times and traumatic events can lead to post-traumatic growth.
1:26:19: ✨ Practical tips to improve happiness: connect with others, help someone else, practice gratitude, be present and mindful.
Recap by Tammy AI
Great Session...Stay Blessed
✌🤩😍✌🤩😍🤲🤲🤲🤲
75,000 in Seattle youre not doing well. Sorry but it seems like the goal posts in America keep moving.
That 75k thing has been debunked.
Um... don't pay for a degree in "womens studies"? But seriously: when things aren't working, don't blame others [even if that might be a correct assessment] - move yourself. Sometimes that hurts, but when you are doing you [and not waiting around hoping for somethig magical], you will emerge and be stronger. Life is crazy sometimes: problems never volunteered for, and we all arrive with no instruction manual - hopefully, parents install a decent framework we can use down the road.
In islam when something bad happens we are suppose to say Alhamdulilah ( praise be to God) and same when something good happens 😊
This guy has to pay a fortune to be promoted. I’m not subscribed and he starts playing after loads of my videos!