I agree there’s problems in the bedroom. If you like somebody a lot it’s hard to bring things up and ego. Some guys have big ego and it’s very fragile.!!!! We must find a way to let him or her know that the bedroom stuff is not working!! I have spoke to people and in marriage the guy is bad at it and oral too!!!! Not good and must be willing to grow! This is why too many partners is a bad deal!!!! You compare bedroom stuff and remember you can grow! It’s hard to talk to a man about bedroom stuff and this is why women are unhappy and cheat I think!!!! Women and men must communicate!!! It’s difficult but I do it !!
My issue has nothing to do with self esteem and everything to do with my sx drive after 7 years! No wife stuff here…. I did a few things! Not poring in me I step back! Agreed on doing sooooo much to him! Some men haven’t a clue what they have and my ex seen it after and regretted it! 😂😂
Take back your power. There is nothing wrong with being nice but that man needs to reciprocate. If he can't reciprocate then that is a problem. You have the right to maintain your crown and not feel stupid. Men who don't give back are not real men they are merely children.
I broke up with my bf two days ago because he didn't put me as a priority in his life I tried to communicate that with him but he just did not care so I exited the relationship God will never abandon us but man I will I be okay.
I am in the nice girl habit of situationship currently, I will ask him questions tomorrow and stop pooring in him and if I'm not happy with his answers I will let him go... This desperation has to STOP! Thank you sir.
I was in one until last month, wasn’t easy and still not easy moving on coz am already attached, I had a feeling he has a girlfriend but I kept myself in denial 😅 until I pushed him to say the truth, that moment I had to advise myself, this guy could wake up one day get married to his girlfriend and leave me broken 😢 and will eventually come back after his honeymoon to continue where he stopped 😂 I said to myself “ girl! You can do it! It’s not going to easy but you have to detach and the sooner the better” to think he doesn’t even offer me anything, no dates, hangouts or any fun activities couple do🤦🏻♀️
@@njelitagloria It ain't easy girl but we must guard our hearts and know our worth, good on you. The right person will come around when you least expect it meanwhile love yourself and do you. Keep well.
Money is a deal breaker unless you are married. I will not help another so-called boyfriend out ever again financially. I have my own bills and responsibilities than to be giving/ loaning even a dollar to a man. If I have my sources to borrow money from without having to bother anyone so should that man have the same situation available to him. A real man does not ask to borrow or have money from a woman.
I dont think it should be a “deal breaker”.. but you just need to have a back bone & say no when you know its necessary. if your man lacks in no other love department, but has a little bit of trouble financially, its okay to help when and if you can. But if you broke too then i understand that logic. Cant give what you dont have.. 💯 just dont be so naive & “nice” that every little financial inconvenience he looks to you for a hand out & you give it. Structure, balance, trust & boundaries. You’ll be alright. I used to feel like that.. but we all need help financially somehow somehow.. lift each other up. Don’t starve someone of that, weather he working & making good money or not. The next person doesn’t deserve your bias opinion “money is deal breaker” based off one nasty financially abusive relationship..
I’ve been played the fool for to long. I was to nice and that got me nowhere like the young lady said in the comments, it got me brokenhearted and feeling stupid. I wished I had kept my guard up with that person because he played me like a fiddle. I feel so stupid for letting him play me like that. NEVER AGAIN
I used to be like that because, it was what I learned from my mother. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve changed my way and learned to set boundaries and standards.
My man I can honestly say knows I’ve never orgasmed wth him. I’m devoted to him and I don’t see a problem. The problem was when he kept trying and then pressuring me to let go, but I explained I’m a child abuse victim and i still carry scars at 50. And I love him even more because he listened and understood. I love him 4 being him. He always wants to put me first. He wants me to happy and I make his life so uncomplicated. We are chalk and cheese but I think we’re the butter that binds us
I think a good topic of conversation is learning how to draw the line of what acceptable boundaries are. Meaning, how much is “too much”, where do I draw the line, when you are in a “situationship” OR if you are in a getting to know you phase. I think for women to be natural nurturers, the line can easily become blurry and we are unaware that we’re doing too much until it’s too late. I hope that makes sense.
I'm glad I can now acknowledge, identify, and understand when I would have been involved with a guy, the times I would have been " a nice girl" when I should not have been, meaning more outspoken, making more time for me and handling things my way respectfully and not caring about the approval from certain people that stemed from child hood ( parental figure). This was a relatable post among many. Thanks, Mr. AlmondJoy. 😉💯👋🏼
I’ve been watching your videos for years and have all of your books as well as audiobooks! I just ended a 2.5 year relationship because he wasn’t able to match my effort then had the kahunas to criticize and complain I wasn’t doing enough for him. My financial contributions were more than half and his debt didn’t allow for me to be home more. He wanted a maid, full time mommy and sex slave. We would argue and he would throw me out on more than one occasion so I left for the last time. I did more for him and not enough for me. Unfortunately he has deep rooted issues with his mom that keep him from having a healthy relationship at this time. I appreciate your advice to men and women ❤. God Bless 🙏
Omg! I'm so many of these "Nice girl" mistakes! I know better I can't lie all in the name of nurturing and genuine care for others. Especially neglecting myself, but I'm turning it all around now, starting with myself. Thank you!
TRUST is so important to me to give my all in the bedroom. I don't want to just lay down with anyone. So in that case sexual satisfaction is not all that important to me. Sexual performance- in that case that woman needs to sit the man down and teach him what he needs to do and if he is not receptive then the relationship is over because obviously he doesn't truly love her. I need to trust that man totally.
I pulled back with reaching out all the time. I had been very verbal with him about me wanting to hear from him more, I have gone as long as three weeks no contact because I’m always the one to initiate. I pulled back because I hated the way it was making me look desperate and chasing. He always telling me he is busy so hey I leave the ball in his court
You deserve better. No one who really cares goes that long without contacting you. Close that door and save yourself from more pain. I have been there it is hard but whatever is meant to be will be🙏🏽🙏🏽
Truth! I used to have multiple O's with my boyfriend (of 17 months), but no longer. I'm lucky if I have one these days. I no longer feel valued or special in our relationship. Ever since he made a new female friend (who's hotter, younger etc), I have the sinking feeling he wants her to replace me. As a consequence, I no longer feel safe with him.
Got played by a live bombing narcissist who ghosted me... i was initially a bit apprehensive, and didn't want my past to effect my future and got my feelings hurt
My light bulb came on in my late 20's I stopped being nice nice always saying yes, always available to be a doormatt. I was labled as mean and evil all because I started creating boundaries and saying no🙄. The word no labeld me as mean and hateful🙄🤔😐. I'm 55 now sooooo glad I created those boundaries way back then. I have so much peace now.
He bought a home and is having kitchen remodeled. Hes very busy so i helped some by cleaning sweeping etc a couple times but i stopped because its not mine to clean. Now we do things together but no more cleaning his house until he can do something for me to. Men need to feel they are contributing or it is demasculinizing for them. I intentionally pulled back on that.
Thank you for reaching out with this message because things can get very messy quickly acting like a nice girl for too long … turns into stagnant dreams
Stephan, I'm 1000% certain that God worked through you to deliver this video to me. It is definitely a confirmation that's aligned with my prayers. The message is on time as I've been going through a break up with my the ex for the last month or so. While we may love each other unconditionally, there are some things that we should not accept from our partners. We have to love ourselves more and not allow our partners to push our boundaries in the name of love. Thank you for letting God use you! ❤
#2 is huge. When I was younger, I hung in their waiting for him to change, hoping he would choose me. I got a wake up call in the midst of depression. I realized that I did not need him, I needed to love myself and save myself for a man that God chooses. No more giving so much of myself for a man that doesn’t deserve it and does not appreciate me. I told him to leave in 1997. Lol. Long time. Many lessons learned.
Stephan love you, you are so on point. By the way I purchased the book, The Man God has for you yesterday, half way through it. Ladies I recommend the book😓
Women don't need to have sex with a guy or sex at all... it's definitely not something that is needed...it only might feel that way when in the presence of a man that you like.What I am saying is that a women can live without it and she will be 100% fine
whew the asking to borrow money GOT me 😂 I had a situashionship with a coworker (I know I know, already a red flag) who would ask me for $50 here and there for his “side hustle” and would swear he’d pay me back on payday. It’s been like 3 months and I haven’t seen a dime. Lesson learned lol.
I distanced myself from them because i felt like an option and like they only wanted something from me and acting difficult when i wanted the same things to reciprocate to compromise and all of that so yea lost motivation and care only for myself since i felt taken for granted again
My ex-husband borrowed money not only from me but borrowed from other people in my name. When I left him, I left with debt he incurred hanging on my neck. So please if the man is not ashamed of asking for money, he's not man enough. I have made financial progress since I left him. I felt used as I was literally his ATM
I will not help a man financially again, and I realized that he was using me. I think he claimed me as his girlfriend because I used to help him. Also, I poured into him too much. I learned hard life lessons…NEVER AGAIN!
I love the grounded reality of this channel!!! Retirement took a toll on my finances, but with my involvement in the digital market, $47,000 weekly returns has been life changing. AWESOME GOD❤️
Hello, how do you achieve such weekly returns? As a single parent i haven’t been able to get my own house due to financial struggles, but my faith in God remains strong.
Wow...I know her too she is a licensed broker and a FINRA agent she is popular in US and Canada she is really amazing woman with good skills and experience.
This video is nice pointers for those whom stuggle with that. I personally do not have an issue with setting boundaries, and communicating things that needs to be. This is the problem to guys whom do not like to hear the truth (naíve or very sensitive), or do not want do the necesssry changes to make things work... On the brighter side of things I enjoy bringing positivity to myself and others by learning beautiful things such as the large Native American city Cohokia, which is currently called the United States, and about the sun and moon pyramid in MesoAmerica.😊
My ex changed his mind all of a sudden after I finally laid down my boundaries and expectations where he wasn’t okay with fulfilling until I told him I won’t speak to him anymore if he doesn’t want what I need
Fantastic video!!! More on this and related to how women can be assertive around men - I.e. pressure to have sex, how to manage him when he’s in that zone before there’s a true bond, or him pushing it. Thanks, Stephan
Another great video Stephan! Thank you! I am happy to say that I only have/had one "nice girl habit" LOL😂 I'll explain a 'lil later. I totally agree with you about honest communication regarding sexual performance. I believe that sex is for marriage but open, honest communication has to be there, especially in marriage if one wants to remain married. Perfect love casts out fear and if someone is afraid to communicate their needs and/or a partner is too sensitive to receive constructive feedback then maybe it's not love at all. Just a situation-ship and it will not last in the long run. I totally agree with you about the day off! My Sabbath, day/time off is Saturday too! I start mine from Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. People think I'm this, that and the third because of that along with my dietary restrictions and I don't celebrate most holidays but I'm not. God rested on the seventh day so I follow his example and other guidelines he told us to follow in the Bible.I make sure all my household chores, laundry, whatever is done so I can chill out, rest and relax. I feel SO refreshed!! Sometimes I might order take out for dinner, listen to jazz/ spiritual musical, pray more, read the Word, listen to online sermons on UA-cam, take a long nap, self care (manicure/pedicure), take a walk, go for a drive, visit/call family etc. People are missing out by not getting their rest in. Last, the "nice girl habbit" I was guilty of was seeking people approval. Not so much people but my parents. For some reason my parents had higher expectations of ME. I'm the third out of four children. Growing up I was like WHY me? I'm not the oldest. It's as if they saw a higher calling etc. But anyways I got through it and your book "Love After Heartbreak" helped me to resolve it. Thanks again for writing it.
getting to the meat and potatoes of why you keep getting played means for me talking to a therapist...it comes from some where...I have been in therapy for 2 yrs to get through situations like this instead cussing them out and ready to fight 😮😮😮
Thank You Stephan! ALL your points are valid. I needed to hear that three nice girl habits to squash. The 'Me Day Off' is a different, self affirming, caring idea too! ❤ how You make your views known with full clarity, examples, and encouragement while speaking admirably of good men.
I believe it is wonderful for guys to not use their fears to make excuse on why they do not want to give when it comes to believing ALL women are just out here for their money. I'm a living witness that I do not have issues with sharing financially. However men should have or be willing to prrsent something on their end. The ONLY way I would not is if there are some things going on that causes some form of concern. Absolutely NO PERSON should be out here using people for the wrong purposes no matter what it's concerning.
Also, as much a sexual energy helps connect two people..the best intimacy is both people in the relationship is the harmonious connection they have outside of doing the horizontal polka( as Steve Erkle would say it).😂 That will later work it's own magic in the bedroom.
Thank you so much for sharing this message Stephan, it is definitely needed. I learned a lot from your videos and your books (I have several). I believe you are a blessing and a gift from God to the men and women who want healthier, more balanced and happier relationships. I really appreciate your emphasis on self love and acts of self care in this and other messages/videos. Much love to you. ❤
Everybody has different things that work for them. It is up to us to ask each other what we like. I would expect a man to ask me what I like and for me to be able to either tell him or show him. And vice versa. However I say this the porn education that males get is awful. Also habitually relying on it for satisfaction is not only dehumanizing, it makes them unable to be satisfied by any mortal.
Redpill is also “education” that makes things bad out there. A lot of red pill men expect women to be virgins even if they themselves have been with multiple women in their own sex lives. And if you want to talk about what you like/want to experience with them they assume you are a whore. My now ex who I had to walk away from 10 weeks ago assumed I was a whore because I express what I wanted to experience with him. I only been with one person in my life before I met my ex. That one person was my first ex and it was a committed relationship. My now ex shamed me for it. He had a committed relationship with his ex and had a one night stand at a wedding close to when we had first met. He was furious I didn’t fit his redpill definition of a whore so he could openly hate me. It made it near impossible to have a general conversation about sex and our desires. Lots of lessons learned from that entire relationship. Redpill ain’t it. My ex said he hadn’t been into that content for a few years since his first ex cheated on him but I noticed that the damage it does to men has been done.
@@timarigirl32 I understand definitely what you're saying it's happened to me as well. Men can't stand to think that you've been with somebody else ever. The double standard is incredible
@@sharicoburn5475 the truth of the matter is that we all have a past. I will no longer allow someone who shamed me for my past to be apart of my present or possible future.
I was a yes person up until last year, because I couldn't communicate, I have watched a lot of Jocko channel and it helps me say no. But I luv you Steve
In my opinion the problem is not being nice but rather being yourself… by being yourself you will speak up , you will set boundaries, you will share and communicate, being aligned with your values and still being nice…
I met somone recently he goes to the same church as me. We have had conversation that are interesting and he is comfortable so far on talking. He did tell me that he is not in a position to have a girlfriend because of his financial matters. Im liking this man and i understand the financial but at the same time not sure to stick around or ?
I’m so happy you have a way to know if you are doing to much for a man!🙌🏾😮💨I wasn’t sure for a minute. But we are truly friends and I enjoy having him in my life so I don’t mind paying for my date ideas for now. Lol.
Yikes, u should do a topic of a woman like me married 30 years n things been shady for a few years now n been loyal to him idk when the day comes to a other men touch me I don't know nothing but my husband 30 so am in a crazy spot and if we do part I want to be able of course my intuition will let me know I hope but it's scary to start after 3 decades n this generation is so crazy I see it thur my kids life the dating/gf bf idk not a social media person either but don't want to live my next chapter alone not in any rush no been loving me for a good 9 month and I believe we will always have healing stage idk my drive it's high but u are on point if the men don't have u In right mind we will go off and not enjoy it . U are so correct on all the vedio I have seen being married. So long, I stop purlin in a bit 😢 am, a giver I ju, t a fi have , e sign n he never wrong to what is wrong in our marriage us women the good ones that have been hurt 💯 need to heal ty
I day check the credit sir to my young daughters, and one is as young as 6 years old. Lol . I totally agree that these guys need to be able to take care of your
How does the day off for husband/wife work? Eg wife gets Saturday off, husband gets Sunday off. When would you do things together as a couple or as a family?
❤️ Get books, personal coaching, tickets to live events and more! -> www.stephanspeaksshop.com
I agree there’s problems in the bedroom. If you like somebody a lot it’s hard to bring things up and ego. Some guys have big ego and it’s very fragile.!!!! We must find a way to let him or her know that the bedroom stuff is not working!! I have spoke to people and in marriage the guy is bad at it and oral too!!!! Not good and must be willing to grow! This is why too many partners is a bad deal!!!! You compare bedroom stuff and remember you can grow!
It’s hard to talk to a man about bedroom stuff and this is why women are unhappy and cheat I think!!!! Women and men must communicate!!! It’s difficult but I do it !!
My sx drive is pretty high! 😂😂
My issue has nothing to do with self esteem and everything to do with my sx drive after 7 years! No wife stuff here…. I did a few things! Not poring in me I step back! Agreed on doing sooooo much to him! Some men haven’t a clue what they have and my ex seen it after and regretted it! 😂😂
Being nice has gotten me nowhere!! Brokenhearted and feeling stupid.
Unfortunately, they were the wrong people. The right one will appreciate that 🙏
I agree
I agree!
I agree!
Take back your power. There is nothing wrong with being nice but that man needs to reciprocate. If he can't reciprocate then that is a problem. You have the right to maintain your crown and not feel stupid. Men who don't give back are not real men they are merely children.
I broke up with my bf two days ago because he didn't put me as a priority in his life I tried to communicate that with him but he just did not care so I exited the relationship God will never abandon us but man I will I be okay.
Same and he mocked God so I’m done
Boundaries gains RESPECT!
Absolutely!
🎯
💯💯
If you need to ask him what you are to him, then you are not what you hope you are. A man will tell you his intentions without you having to ask.
💯 if we have to ask, then we already have the answer
This was me and all I got was heartache, used, neglected, disrespected and STUPID!!! My self-esteem was a all time low.. This was me all day long
I’m sorry to hear that. I pray you heal from it all and emerge from it better than ever 🙌❤️
Same here
Yes, I'm going through this right now, and it hurts. 😢🙏🏽
I am in the nice girl habit of situationship currently, I will ask him questions tomorrow and stop pooring in him and if I'm not happy with his answers I will let him go... This desperation has to STOP! Thank you sir.
I was in one until last month, wasn’t easy and still not easy moving on coz am already attached, I had a feeling he has a girlfriend but I kept myself in denial 😅 until I pushed him to say the truth, that moment I had to advise myself, this guy could wake up one day get married to his girlfriend and leave me broken 😢 and will eventually come back after his honeymoon to continue where he stopped 😂 I said to myself “ girl! You can do it! It’s not going to easy but you have to detach and the sooner the better” to think he doesn’t even offer me anything, no dates, hangouts or any fun activities couple do🤦🏻♀️
@@njelitagloria It ain't easy girl but we must guard our hearts and know our worth, good on you. The right person will come around when you least expect it meanwhile love yourself and do you. Keep well.
If they ask to borrow money & say you was the last resort that means they are a user who has burned they bridges with everybody else
Money is a deal breaker unless you are married. I will not help another so-called boyfriend out ever again financially. I have my own bills and responsibilities than to be giving/ loaning even a dollar to a man. If I have my sources to borrow money from without having to bother anyone so should that man have the same situation available to him. A real man does not ask to borrow or have money from a woman.
I dont think it should be a “deal breaker”.. but you just need to have a back bone & say no when you know its necessary. if your man lacks in no other love department, but has a little bit of trouble financially, its okay to help when and if you can. But if you broke too then i understand that logic. Cant give what you dont have.. 💯 just dont be so naive & “nice” that every little financial inconvenience he looks to you for a hand out & you give it. Structure, balance, trust & boundaries. You’ll be alright. I used to feel like that.. but we all need help financially somehow somehow.. lift each other up. Don’t starve someone of that, weather he working & making good money or not. The next person doesn’t deserve your bias opinion “money is deal breaker” based off one nasty financially abusive relationship..
Exactly, I've given hundreds of dollars!
I’ve been played the fool for to long. I was to nice and that got me nowhere like the young lady said in the comments, it got me brokenhearted and feeling stupid. I wished I had kept my guard up with that person because he played me like a fiddle. I feel so stupid for letting him play me like that. NEVER AGAIN
Me too
Keep your cup full. What is in the cup is mine, what pours over is for others...
Good nugget😊
Love this!
I was told yesterday the reason why I wasn't taking seriously in the relationship because I was too nice
Wow! Turn the "Bee-yotch" button on & block his @$$! #next
I used to be like that because, it was what I learned from my mother. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve changed my way and learned to set boundaries and standards.
Sexual chemistry and compatibility is something I never considered important but it's number one now.
Stephan, thank you so much for having the conversation that my dad never had with me ❤
Wasted my time…stepped off… no label…I’m out… no we can’t be friends either
💯
Good for you! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
My man I can honestly say knows I’ve never orgasmed wth him. I’m devoted to him and I don’t see a problem. The problem was when he kept trying and then pressuring me to let go, but I explained I’m a child abuse victim and i still carry scars at 50. And I love him even more because he listened and understood. I love him 4 being him. He always wants to put me first. He wants me to happy and I make his life so uncomplicated. We are chalk and cheese but I think we’re the butter that binds us
That part about them asking for financial help is so true they will put in little tiny investments in order to con you out of much more down the road.
Speaking facts. I’m in my 40s and it was the main reason my marriage ended.sexual incompatibility Which led to many other things. It’s a domino effect
Thank you for your honesty 🙏
😊
Yes!!!!
I think a good topic of conversation is learning how to draw the line of what acceptable boundaries are. Meaning, how much is “too much”, where do I draw the line, when you are in a “situationship” OR if you are in a getting to know you phase. I think for women to be natural nurturers, the line can easily become blurry and we are unaware that we’re doing too much until it’s too late. I hope that makes sense.
Yes
I'm glad I can now acknowledge, identify, and understand when I would have been involved with a guy, the times I would have been " a nice girl" when I should not have been, meaning more outspoken, making more time for me and handling things my way respectfully and not caring about the approval from certain people that stemed from child hood ( parental figure). This was a relatable post among many. Thanks, Mr. AlmondJoy. 😉💯👋🏼
I’ve been watching your videos for years and have all of your books as well as audiobooks! I just ended a 2.5 year relationship because he wasn’t able to match my effort then had the kahunas to criticize and complain I wasn’t doing enough for him. My financial contributions were more than half and his debt didn’t allow for me to be home more. He wanted a maid, full time mommy and sex slave. We would argue and he would throw me out on more than one occasion so I left for the last time. I did more for him and not enough for me. Unfortunately he has deep rooted issues with his mom that keep him from having a healthy relationship at this time. I appreciate your advice to men and women ❤. God Bless 🙏
Sometimes people go through a lot, patience is required ❣️
Me being Ms. nice is so done,I've learned my lesson .Thank you, Stephan ❤❤
Soooo ON POINT!!!!! WOMEN GOT TO BE IN A GOOD MENTAL SPACE TO ENJOY IT!!!!! 👍
This is so true about Relationships that your pour into n get nothing in return . Facts
Omg! I'm so many of these "Nice girl" mistakes! I know better I can't lie all in the name of nurturing and genuine care for others. Especially neglecting myself, but I'm turning it all around now, starting with myself. Thank you!
TRUST is so important to me to give my all in the bedroom. I don't want to just lay down with anyone. So in that case sexual satisfaction is not all that important to me.
Sexual performance- in that case that woman needs to sit the man down and teach him what he needs to do and if he is not receptive then the relationship is over because obviously he doesn't truly love her. I need to trust that man totally.
Well said 🙏
THIS MESSAGE IS FOR ME,I HAD TO DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING AND BACKING UP A LOT, IT'S TIME TO DO ME NOW!
this video is EVERYTHING ....EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME..
Thank you UA-cam for suggesting this video!
You just gained a follower, Stephan!
Thank you I appreciate that 🙏❤️
I pulled back with reaching out all the time. I had been very verbal with him about me wanting to hear from him more, I have gone as long as three weeks no contact because I’m always the one to initiate. I pulled back because I hated the way it was making me look desperate and chasing. He always telling me he is busy so hey I leave the ball in his court
You deserve better. No one who really cares goes that long without contacting you. Close that door and save yourself from more pain. I have been there it is hard but whatever is meant to be will be🙏🏽🙏🏽
Good Job!! a man will come get what he wants.
Truth!
I used to have multiple O's with my boyfriend (of 17 months), but no longer. I'm lucky if I have one these days. I no longer feel valued or special in our relationship. Ever since he made a new female friend (who's hotter, younger etc), I have the sinking feeling he wants her to replace me. As a consequence, I no longer feel safe with him.
Of course. You don't feel safe anymore with him. Why did you accept him seeing other women?
Awww... Don't let it break you down. Gather yourself and kick him to the curb. Go do you & you will attract better! Wishing you all the best! 👑💐
Trust your intuition he is already gone. Just let him go.
Got played by a live bombing narcissist who ghosted me... i was initially a bit apprehensive, and didn't want my past to effect my future and got my feelings hurt
My light bulb came on in my late 20's I stopped being nice nice always saying yes, always available to be a doormatt. I was labled as mean and evil all because I started creating boundaries and saying no🙄. The word no labeld me as mean and hateful🙄🤔😐. I'm 55 now sooooo glad I created those boundaries way back then. I have so much peace now.
He bought a home and is having kitchen remodeled. Hes very busy so i helped some by cleaning sweeping etc a couple times but i stopped because its not mine to clean.
Now we do things together but no more cleaning his house until he can do something for me to. Men need to feel they are contributing or it is demasculinizing for them. I intentionally pulled back on that.
Where were you in my 20's because if knew all of this then.. It would of been for the better. But I am grateful for my journey. Good Stuff !!!!
Nah this is so timely….. the way I clicked so fast as if my entire life depended on this video 😂
Thank you for reaching out with this message because things can get very messy quickly acting like a nice girl for too long … turns into stagnant dreams
I love your videos; I’m currently bingeing them. The way you speak really opens my mind to self-reflection. Much love to you! ❤
Stephan, I'm 1000% certain that God worked through you to deliver this video to me. It is definitely a confirmation that's aligned with my prayers. The message is on time as I've been going through a break up with my the ex for the last month or so. While we may love each other unconditionally, there are some things that we should not accept from our partners. We have to love ourselves more and not allow our partners to push our boundaries in the name of love.
Thank you for letting God use you! ❤
#2 is huge. When I was younger, I hung in their waiting for him to change, hoping he would choose me. I got a wake up call in the midst of depression. I realized that I did not need him, I needed to love myself and save myself for a man that God chooses. No more giving so much of myself for a man that doesn’t deserve it and does not appreciate me. I told him to leave in 1997. Lol. Long time. Many lessons learned.
Being nice and accommodating has gotten me abused-mentally, spiritually, and physically abused.
So true if I have things on my mind it does affect the bedroom. I look forward to you breaking that down more.
🙏❤️
Stephan love you, you are so on point. By the way I purchased the book, The Man God has for you yesterday, half way through it. Ladies I recommend the book😓
Women don't need to have sex with a guy or sex at all... it's definitely not something that is needed...it only might feel that way when in the presence of a man that you like.What I am saying is that a women can live without it and she will be 100% fine
So much sense here💯! Thanks for sharing Stephan 🙏🏾
I’m glad you found it helpful
whew the asking to borrow money GOT me 😂 I had a situashionship with a coworker (I know I know, already a red flag) who would ask me for $50 here and there for his “side hustle” and would swear he’d pay me back on payday. It’s been like 3 months and I haven’t seen a dime. Lesson learned lol.
Excellent video!!!💯💯💯💯
Great topics!!!!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
We only need God’s approval💯
I know that when Stephan says, "I remember one time...", it is going to be good in terms of funny and interesting. 😄
🙏 lol thank you
Yup..I enjoy this giggle
I distanced myself from them because i felt like an option and like they only wanted something from me and acting difficult when i wanted the same things to reciprocate to compromise and all of that so yea lost motivation and care only for myself since i felt taken for granted again
Thanks for this video! At 57, so many things have been cleared up for me! I truly appreciate the mind-opening conversation.
My ex-husband borrowed money not only from me but borrowed from other people in my name. When I left him, I left with debt he incurred hanging on my neck. So please if the man is not ashamed of asking for money, he's not man enough. I have made financial progress since I left him. I felt used as I was literally his ATM
Awesome video. I take my time to myself. I have no problem with going alone to movies, beach, concert, retreat. I like Sat or Friday evenings. Both😂
I will not help a man financially again, and I realized that he was using me. I think he claimed me as his girlfriend because I used to help him. Also, I poured into him too much. I learned hard life lessons…NEVER AGAIN!
Thank you Bro. Stephan! I appreciate you!
Always my pleasure
Thanks for the video, it has very valid points.
I love the grounded reality of this channel!!!
Retirement took a toll on my finances, but with my involvement in the digital market, $47,000 weekly returns has been life changing. AWESOME GOD❤️
Hello, how do you achieve such weekly returns? As a single parent i haven’t been able to get my own house due to financial struggles, but my faith in God remains strong.
Maria Angelina Alexander I really appreciate her efforts and transparency.
I remember giving her my first savings $20000 and she opened a brokerage account for me it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
Wow...I know her too she is a licensed broker and a FINRA agent she is popular in
US and Canada she is really amazing woman with good skills and experience.
This is a definition of God's unending provisions for his people. God remains faithful to his words. I receive this for my household.🙏
This video is nice pointers for those whom stuggle with that. I personally do not have an issue with setting boundaries, and communicating things that needs to be. This is the problem to guys whom do not like to hear the truth (naíve or very sensitive), or do not want do the necesssry changes to make things work...
On the brighter side of things I enjoy bringing positivity to myself and others by learning beautiful things such as the large Native American city Cohokia, which is currently called the United States, and about the sun and moon pyramid in MesoAmerica.😊
The man’s actions giving the answer!
My ex changed his mind all of a sudden after I finally laid down my boundaries and expectations where he wasn’t okay with fulfilling until I told him I won’t speak to him anymore if he doesn’t want what I need
Fantastic video!!! More on this and related to how women can be assertive around men - I.e. pressure to have sex, how to manage him when he’s in that zone before there’s a true bond, or him pushing it. Thanks, Stephan
Good stuff, Stephan!
Thank you very much
Another great video Stephan! Thank you! I am happy to say that I only have/had one "nice girl habit" LOL😂 I'll explain a 'lil later. I totally agree with you about honest communication regarding sexual performance. I believe that sex is for marriage but open, honest communication has to be there, especially in marriage if one wants to remain married. Perfect love casts out fear and if someone is afraid to communicate their needs and/or a partner is too sensitive to receive constructive feedback then maybe it's not love at all. Just a situation-ship and it will not last in the long run.
I totally agree with you about the day off! My Sabbath, day/time off is Saturday too! I start mine from Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. People think I'm this, that and the third because of that along with my dietary restrictions and I don't celebrate most holidays but I'm not. God rested on the seventh day so I follow his example and other guidelines he told us to follow in the Bible.I make sure all my household chores, laundry, whatever is done so I can chill out, rest and relax. I feel SO refreshed!! Sometimes I might order take out for dinner, listen to jazz/ spiritual musical, pray more, read the Word, listen to online sermons on UA-cam, take a long nap, self care (manicure/pedicure), take a walk, go for a drive, visit/call family etc. People are missing out by not getting their rest in.
Last, the "nice girl habbit" I was guilty of was seeking people approval. Not so much people but my parents. For some reason my parents had higher expectations of ME. I'm the third out of four children. Growing up I was like WHY me? I'm not the oldest. It's as if they saw a higher calling etc. But anyways I got through it and your book "Love After Heartbreak" helped me to resolve it. Thanks again for writing it.
This is on point, read the book " no more Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. This book helped me out a lot.
Ohh I love you man. Timely video!!
😊 thank you very much
100%! Love that idea of one “real day off” for each. It’s “me” time. Then when I’m done with “me” time I might choose to have some “us” time. 😘
Indeed
getting to the meat and potatoes of why you keep getting played means for me talking to a therapist...it comes from some where...I have been in therapy for 2 yrs to get through situations like this instead cussing them out and ready to fight 😮😮😮
I love the title “King Ding-a-ling” hahaha!!!
Thank You Stephan! ALL your points are valid. I needed to hear that three nice girl habits to squash. The 'Me Day Off' is a different, self affirming, caring idea too!
❤ how You make your views known with full clarity, examples, and encouragement while speaking admirably of good men.
I believe it is wonderful for guys to not use their fears to make excuse on why they do not want to give when it comes to believing ALL women are just out here for their money. I'm a living witness that I do not have issues with sharing financially. However men should have or be willing to prrsent something on their end. The ONLY way I would not is if there are some things going on that causes some form of concern. Absolutely NO PERSON should be out here using people for the wrong purposes no matter what it's concerning.
You’re correct, to have this conversation I wanted intimacy however his desire & ego didn’t let him hear what I wanted
Also, as much a sexual energy helps connect two people..the best intimacy is both people in the relationship is the harmonious connection they have outside of doing the horizontal polka( as Steve Erkle would say it).😂 That will later work it's own magic in the bedroom.
This should be taught to all girls
Thanks for this video I love your videos keep the good work up
Thank you so much for sharing this message Stephan, it is definitely needed. I learned a lot from your videos and your books (I have several). I believe you are a blessing and a gift from God to the men and women who want healthier, more balanced and happier relationships. I really appreciate your emphasis on self love and acts of self care in this and other messages/videos. Much love to you. ❤
Bubble Wrap Stephan! A genuine, straight shooter on all accounts is a blessing! One can never be too old to learn. #Ch51 🙌🏾🙏🏾
Video was extremely helpful! Thanks 🙏🏽 ❤
I’m very happy to hear that
@@MeetStephanSpeaks❤
I invested out of fear STRAIGHT UP. In many of my relationships.
You’re preaching Stephan!!!
🙏❤️
One sided love
No more nice girl. Good girl gone bad. I’ll never be the same
Hi, haven’t seen an 80s. I’m glad you’re back or maybe it’s just me. I haven’t really been around much keep on doing what you’re doing.❤❤
Everybody has different things that work for them.
It is up to us to ask each other what we like.
I would expect a man to ask me what I like and for me to be able to either tell him or show him.
And vice versa.
However I say this the porn education that males get is awful. Also habitually relying on it for satisfaction is not only dehumanizing, it makes them unable to be satisfied by any mortal.
Redpill is also “education” that makes things bad out there. A lot of red pill men expect women to be virgins even if they themselves have been with multiple women in their own sex lives. And if you want to talk about what you like/want to experience with them they assume you are a whore. My now ex who I had to walk away from 10 weeks ago assumed I was a whore because I express what I wanted to experience with him. I only been with one person in my life before I met my ex. That one person was my first ex and it was a committed relationship. My now ex shamed me for it. He had a committed relationship with his ex and had a one night stand at a wedding close to when we had first met. He was furious I didn’t fit his redpill definition of a whore so he could openly hate me. It made it near impossible to have a general conversation about sex and our desires. Lots of lessons learned from that entire relationship. Redpill ain’t it. My ex said he hadn’t been into that content for a few years since his first ex cheated on him but I noticed that the damage it does to men has been done.
@@timarigirl32 I understand definitely what you're saying it's happened to me as well.
Men can't stand to think that you've been with somebody else ever.
The double standard is incredible
@@sharicoburn5475 the truth of the matter is that we all have a past. I will no longer allow someone who shamed me for my past to be apart of my present or possible future.
I learned my lesson on lending money to anybody even family! Once a man ask for money im gone😊.
I was a yes person up until last year, because I couldn't communicate, I have watched a lot of Jocko channel and it helps me say no.
But I luv you Steve
In my opinion the problem is not being nice but rather being yourself… by being yourself you will speak up , you will set boundaries, you will share and communicate, being aligned with your values and still being nice…
I met somone recently he goes to the same church as me. We have had conversation that are interesting and he is comfortable so far on talking. He did tell me that he is not in a position to have a girlfriend because of his financial matters. Im liking this man and i understand the financial but at the same time not sure to stick around or ?
I’m so happy you have a way to know if you are doing to much for a man!🙌🏾😮💨I wasn’t sure for a minute. But we are truly friends and I enjoy having him in my life so I don’t mind paying for my date ideas for now. Lol.
Great advise and pointers thanks Stephan
Yikes, u should do a topic of a woman like me married 30 years n things been shady for a few years now n been loyal to him idk when the day comes to a other men touch me I don't know nothing but my husband 30 so am in a crazy spot and if we do part I want to be able of course my intuition will let me know I hope but it's scary to start after 3 decades n this generation is so crazy I see it thur my kids life the dating/gf bf idk not a social media person either but don't want to live my next chapter alone not in any rush no been loving me for a good 9 month and I believe we will always have healing stage idk my drive it's high but u are on point if the men don't have u In right mind we will go off and not enjoy it . U are so correct on all the vedio I have seen being married. So long, I stop purlin in a bit 😢 am, a giver I ju, t a fi have , e sign n he never wrong to what is wrong in our marriage us women the good ones that have been hurt 💯 need to heal ty
Thank you Stephan for this video ❤
I’m glad you enjoyed it
I never had them when I was married. I just wanted to get it over and done. Not today!
Thanx stephan i has been waiting for this video.
❤🎉😢its so hard when you have a friend who sabotages his life. And i want to help but, im not sure if it would be help.
That friend most likely needs professional help 🙏
This was very helpful to me now
I’m happy to hear that 🙌
I wish this video came out 3 years ago. It would’ve saved me a lot of time and pain
I day check the credit sir to my young daughters, and one is as young as 6 years old. Lol
. I totally agree that these guys need to be able to take care of your
Wow. The money thing on point. Me currently 😢kmt
This was amazing!
🙌 i appreciate that
Thank GOD it was 2 months. I had to step off. Waste of my time. No we can’t be friends either
How does the day off for husband/wife work? Eg wife gets Saturday off, husband gets Sunday off. When would you do things together as a couple or as a family?
So....Me....Thanks you for this Video ❤
You’re welcome 🙏