cheating, leaving a toxic relationship, getting closure & more | chit chat grwm | arnell armon
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- Опубліковано 7 жов 2024
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I went through a lot to get this up yall lmao but I was determined!!
and we love u!
Okayyy. And we came through with the quickness!!
thank you so much girl, i was just about to start my night routine
Thank you!! you have alot of wisdom💜💜💜
Thank you 🤗❤️
The number one mistake some of us women make is opening up and being vulnerable too soon with men. What I learned is , some people want to know your past just to use it against you. Your past doesn’t define you and doesn’t need to be what you lead with, keep it between you and God. Some men don’t see a reason to treat you better than your last and end up treating you worse 🤷🏽♀️
Some of them wonder what you did to get treated like that and also feel like they can push even more. Like "why do I have to heal you and treat you better than another dude?". It's an ego thing. They see it as you let yourself her treated like that then you deserve even worse. So I never tell about my past and if I do, I always downplay it.
@@Mandyb05 THIS!!! Exactly this! If you tell a man “my ex barely took me on dates”, be prepared to receive the same or less because you accepted it from your last 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you for this wisdom as someone who’s never rlly dated at 26! All of these horror stories make me even scared to date man..
@@SupernaturalLove100 don’t be! You’re lucky to even have the resources like these to know what to look out for! When I was 26 no1 was talking about dating
@@Aisha_babiiright you’d think they’d use that as a cue to do better they use it as a cue to treat you just as bad if not worse because you tolerated it. They’re really sick in the head and have no problem with it
The J. Cole vs Kendrick answer 😂. Arnell said “Bro, I’m just a girl.” 🤭🩷
Arnell = Im in a rush !!
Proceeds to give us 40 mins videos 😂😂
one thing i’ve learned in past relationships is to NEVER tell a man what you’ve been through in before him EVER. they will always try to use it against you because they know you tolerated it before BUT If you’re an over sharer & just can’t help yourself let them know that you left QUICK the moment you felt you were being played with.
my only advice to the sister trying to help her sister: make space for her. physically, emotionally, and mentally. do what u can to let her kno that u are in her corner. cus like arnell said; eventually she’ll get fed up and leave. and thats when you can step in to truly support her.
Also, I recommend that encourage your loved ones to speak to a mental health professional. There are excellent trained professionals who are able to help!
I agree about the epidural. When you're in intense pain, that epidural is NOTHING😂
Literally lmao
My sister and my niece said it didn’t hurt but they did have back pain in that area later. My sister said it took over 2 yrs for the back pain to leave.
I didn’t have pain, but more pressure than anything. They likely numb you up first before administering the epidural so you might not feel much pain.
Yeah I didn’t feel any pain at the time getting it. But I do experience bit of back pain now thou.
The ab*se portion really hit home for me. My first real relationship was with an older guy when I was 19, almost 20. I was with him for two years (which felt like 10) He was the one who everybody knew and thought was soooo cool. I already didn’t have a good support system around me and everyone had a “we told you so, it’s what you deserve” mentality and it only made things worse. I lost myself in him and learned many lessons along the way. I also agree when you said it doesn’t end even when you leave because the next relationship I was in after him was ab*sive as well, and that lasted even longer. Long story short, I’m 28 now and I can admit that I’m not fully healed; but I am far less broken than I was before. It’s easy to judge until it’s you in the situation and you can’t “save” anyone from theirs because the beauty in the story comes from the person finding enough of their own strength to leave. You HAVE to remember to always go with your gut, and any form of ab*se is not love; whether it is physically, mentally, verbally, or emotionally, etc. ANYONE who truly loves you would not do things to harm or hurt you and that includes yourself. I help others by telling my stories and sharing the things that helped me leave and heal. I have been single and standing on business for the last 3-4 years and I couldn’t be any happier. Though it gets lonely, the wisdom, strength, freedom, confidence, and self worth that you gain is so fulfilling and rewarding. K bye. Sorry I was so long winded lol
Peace. Glad you have grown. Just know that you now have the power to discern. You may meet a few guys, if you feel something comfortable but uneasy, definitely stay away. You got this. Peace.
Noah’s mommy has really been in her bag this summer lol
Lol yesssss 💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽
Babe, this quality is everything! I’m loving that you uploaded damn near back to back 💕✨
Thank youuuu ❤
everything you said about being in a abusive relationship is what I have been wanting to put into words. It’s so easy being on the outside looking in and telling a victim to get out..but in the victims reality ITS NOT. I’m 4 months out- with 3 kids and even now everyday is a battle. But I’m grateful for my family that gave me that out- a place to live, financial help and child care for my kids. It really is about giving them space and saying you’re there for when they’re ready to leave.
I hope anyone reading this and is currently living in that situation that they know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s okay to ask for help. 💜
when did we become worthy of the back to back videos?? I love itttt 😮💨🩷
I’m just trying to be consistent 😭
@@arnellarmongenuinely appreciate the effort and the quality and dedication shows 🩶
Closure is something you give yourself. That person, place, or thing is never going to fulfill what you're looking for as "closure"
I know this probably sounds weird but I love listening to these videos that Arnell posts while I'm cleaning up the house. Feels like I'm listening to a friend while doing something productive.
To the conversation about content engagement. I have literally gone through and unsubscribed to my FAVS because they chose tiktok over youtube, and now they are slowly coming back to youtube and i feel uncomfortable supporting them on this platform because they are not reliable or they had kids and made kid content. Like girl i have a 9yr old child i know how to raise my child i dont need your advice 😂 I want to see you do things i dont do on a daily basis. I need an escape when my day is done. Im glad you show us noah, and that's it. It's not strictly mommy content but im so glad you are being consistent now ❤❤
So real😮😭
19:18 THIS IS A REAL THING!! It happened to me in the past, soon as you tell a man you’ve been hurt they do the SAME THING!
The trick is to PRAISE all of the men in your life - dad, brothers, ex bfs, all of em. That way the men you date see that they have to compete with that good treatment. No man wants to compete with losers soooo if you tell them that all your exes were trash and your dad wasn’t a good dad, guess what they’re gonna do: follow suit, often unconsciously which is worse bc then they’ll act like they’re the best you’ve ever had while doing the bare minimum bc “it could be worse” according to the things you told them about other men.
Always be one step ahead.
Soooooooooooooooo true!!!!
Facts talk about support. Supportive male figures. You have to believe it,, too
The babes on a fitness journey are hereee👋🏽🩷🩷
Hiiii babe
At this point Arnell has to drop a diss track called "MEET THE JACKSONS"
I just choked
@@arnellarmon😅
😂
Personally for my birthdays I want my friends to step. I want all of us to look good 😭idk I love it and it makes me feel like you care about my day so much that you would put your full effort into my special day. But that’s just me.
Yes Arnell literally out here giving us abandonment issues leaving us for months 😭😭
She’s a mom she’s allowed but I missed her too 😢❤
A few seconds into the video and I’m already buying some lip plumper 😩
It’s so good!!!
Arnell posting during finals season is getting me through
Omg I forgot that was going onnnn
Hey sis, you are spitting facts about being in an abusive relationship. I speak about my situation onstage at my shows. I sometimes get audience members that come up to me asking how they can save a family member that’s in an abusive relationship. My response is always the same: they are not going to leave until THEY are fed up. And yes I’m so glad I left before he did something even worse to me. Thank you for sharing your story. ❤ Love your channel!
i'm giving birth to twins in september, i'm nervous but so excited!
Congrats!! Praying for a safe delivery
Do not tell a man what you’ve been through . Most of the time , these informations will be used against you .
I too have just went thru and left a 5yr abusive relationship with a narcissist and was abusive in every way possible. I’m in therapy now for all the trauma I have experienced. And I had a friend tell me as well early on that he sounds abusive and I made excuses and ignored and here I am 5 yrs later learning how to look at me in mirror and love me and be kind to myself. One thing I say I can spot people dead on now I definitely learned my lesson from this situation.
If you’re someone that’s currently in an abusive relationship (physical,emotional,mental,sexual etc) pray. Prayer works. Seek help. Talk to someone. Don’t hold on to that kind of trauma please don’t, and know that you’re not alone. Tell yourself you don’t deserve to be treated as such until you believe it and leave when you feel safe enough to leave. Plan how you’re gonna leave and either involve law enforcement when you leave and have witnesses. Most abusers aren’t bold enough to hurt you infront of an audience they don’t want everyone to know their an abuser. They don’t even wanna acknowledge that they are one but if someone else sees it then everyone will know.
He showed up on my fyp too 😭😭😭😭😭 the way I instantly knew what you were talking about 💀💀💀 I realized it was him because it was a pic with our sweet Noah 😫
Omg SAME lmao
Same, now instagram know they wrong 😭🤣
yoooo 😅
We love the consistency, your UA-cam family is proud 🤌🏾💗
I don’t understand the thought process behind “you’re not my man so why do I need to talk to you daily”
I just feel like when that man is gone your friend will still be there so what’s wrong with a “hey girl hope your day is going well” or even a good morning everyday.
I’m married with two kids and I still find time to let my friend know that I’m thinking about her. We don’t always have a conversation but we do speak daily.
Hey sis.... Well then that's YOU and YOUR communication experience with THAT person. It's not law for everyone. It's a case by case scenario, and not everyone could "keep up" with the world while dealing with life and whatever various situations they may go through, in whatever season they're in. And (side note), just because someone didn't message you for the day/week, doesn't mean they have anything against you, or they neglected you. Sometimes people need to get out of their bubble, and consider what's happening on the other side of Reality.
@@Courtney-1111 girl lmao. Side note I spoke on me and my person. Not once did I say it’s wrong or tried to bash. I just said I don’t understand. I’m happy I don’t have a friend like you lol. You’ll make sure to talk to that man everyday but a hey to your day one is too much??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 have a good night love bug ✌🏽
love love love your long talk through videos! you’re very entertaining and engaging
Thank you so much! ❤
We were pregnant at the same time I had a boy too. I had a cesarean I wish I could have done it naturally but baby boy was too big. I also am currently pregnant with my second my baby daddy and I are splitting up I love watching your videos especially these kind. Single mother hood doesn't mean you're alone thank God for my family.
Thank you so much for talking openly and honestly about abuse/DV. You don't see many YTs/influencers that do.
I've experienced it for years and I have also had ppl closest to me, even friends and family "lose patience" and I could feel the judgment and their comments that hinted they're tired of hearing about it, which only felt further isolating and made it harder to get out. My best friend thankfully has been supportive since the beginning but it's important to have a few solid ppl, even if it's just one, who will help you leave when you are ready.
Especially because I agree, you only get the courage to leave and actually attempt when you are absolutely sick of it. It's so hard to get out otherwise.
Love you girl 💖 love the video 🥰
Iv been through domestic abuse. It took me literally hitting rock bottom for me to realize that I had had enough. It took me years to really truly recover. The biggest step to take is to leave.
Arnell!!!!!! Girl!!!!! You say a WORD every time!!!!! God really gives you messages for us 🙏🏽 He speaks to me through you and I hope that you understand that He put you through it all so that you’d be equipped to help the rest of us. I pray for the same strength you have in handling things and doing what’s best for you, for myself.
But yeah you can’t tell men what you’ve let other men do to you… you’re unfortunately just telling them what you’ll allow them to do, or what they have to be creative with bc you recognize it as abuse.
20:00 The fact that you knew the timeline for the signs of abuse to heal was heartbreaking. 😢
Its so hard when your friends tell you to "just leave" like girl if it was that easy i would have been done that!
This was really good. Especially the part about an abusive relationship I couldn’t have said that any better.
I never heard of friends that coordinate outfits before heading out to prevent weird vibes lol that’s new to me!🤔
i agree about helping people leave ab*sive relationships. As also being someone that was in one and was finally able to leave, i had people telling me that things were wrong or ab*sive or whatever the case. but i had to find it within myself to leave because ultimately we're the only ones who can make decisions for ourselves. but i guess if i could have told people what i needed at the time, it would have just been to express that they don't see me differently and want to protect me. you mentioned about how these men will make you believe that no one is in your corner and that's totally true - they make you feel shameful for needing help or just needing to hear words of support, even beyond tangible ways of support. it made me feel like people would just look at me stupid or with pity or guilt and for a long time my brain thought that was worse than the actual ab*se i was experiencing. thank you for touching on your own experience, you've always been one of my favorite people to watch because of how you talk so much about LEARNING boundaries not just setting them up and standing on them. love you arnell!!!!!!
I have a 2 year old and work from home with little motivation. I find myself playing your vlogs in the background and find focus ❤
It’s nice to see you back Arnell 💗💗 I would say for the working out it’s something for yourself. There’s hardly many things that we do for ourselves that hold us back especially working out. I keep in mind that I always feel better after working out rather than not going. Never a time where I’m disappointed after working out 🏋🏻♀️
6:53 I want marriage. But I’m realizing that marriage is only shoved down a woman’s throat, not the man’s throat. Women are told that they NEED to be married, men are subconsciously told to avoid it. A lot of ppl didn’t even have parents that were married (or it was an unhealthy marriage). So now we have women who want marriage and men that could care less. I never wanted to be the woman that has to beg for marriage or throw hints everyday. A man will move in with me and have kids with me but hasn’t asked me to marry him. They throw marriage around in the beginning to get me…then there’s no talks of it after I’ve given all my milk away. Shameful
Wow, This !!
You’re exactly right, the why doesn’t matter and I wish I had learned that when I was in my 20’s, I would have saved so much time. Oh, you’re done? Ok, bye.
This set up 🤌🏼 chefs kiss!❤
“…im not gonna be your pen pal “ 😂😂 Arnell pls lmaoo
Arnell I ❤ these sessions! I feel like Im on the phone and just talking through questions.... love this format.
You and Noah have a blessed evening and week ahead.
For the DV topic, I’ve a heard some advice for friends from a therapist: try providing hotlines for these women, try planning a safe escape route where they can’t be found from this person (sometimes needing to be prepared to leave things behind)
But at the end of the day I do agree with the woman needing to be fed up on her own but try assisting in helping her create a safe escape route when it’s time for her!
Your grwms are my fav! You give the girls quality every time but I loveee a good sit down/talk/makeup/hair video!!🫶🏼 *chef’s kiss*
Loving these videos so much and everything you said is so true about abuse. Omg. Praying for everyone in situations like that.
hey girl :) would it be possible to be closer the next time you sit down for these videos? i feel like we are so far and i wanna see the detailssssss
let me clarify i like the scenery i dont wanna be SO close like og youtube days but just a LIL CLOSER
I’m loving all these uploads Arnell!!! 🤎
Arnell!!! I wasn’t expecting a video for another week babe
Glad you got out of those toxic relationships! Definitely inspired to keep going, thanks for sharing with us!!!
I'm loving this consistency 🥰 Literally , working out makes me feel so powerful like I can achieve anything.
I love how you did your makeup! Can you do a makeup tutorial where you show how you do winged liner on your eyes? I have hooded eyes & I see you & Alissa do too. Both yours & Alissa's eyes are beautiful! But I CANNOT get the winged eyeliner down on my eyes for the LIFE of me!?!? 🤦♀️😒😣
This was a good chat. I see your growth and maturity ❤
Arnell!!! I miss your videos so I’m so glad you keep coming back - we all take breaks from our own routines so it’s fine when we’re out of sync because you keep so many of your old videos :)
REQUEST!!! Can you do a video on how you organize and store your wigs/extensions? I need some inspo and also info on how to properly store real hair vs synthetic hair
Am I the only one who loves how Arnell puts on Gloss? Lol
I wonder what gloss and liner that is 😍
why do I enjoy hearing you talk? 😭 your responses are always so well put together! loved this 🩷
Your transparency is going to help so many women!
Arnell!! I really feel like we are like long lost sisters every time I watch one of your videos lol I’ve been tuned into your channel for years now and we were literally pregnant at the same time! 😂 I hope we get to meet someday ❤️
Your mannerisms and way of being is so adorable 😂🥰
pleaseeee keep these videos going girl 🥹💅🏽✨ i love watching while i get ready myself 🫡🫶🏽
I love hearing you talk about putting your faith and God so right! ❤
Come thruuuu with the uploads babe 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️❤️❤️ loving the background as well
The abuse segment broke my heart 😢 I’m sooo glad u got out of it Nelly we love you sooo much 🥺🥺🥺💚💚💚💚💚
Arnell, you are wise beyond your years.
I really enjoy your chatty, long form vids❤
the quality of this video! 😍
i LOVE how understanding you are when talking about inconsistency with youtubers. i understand ppl go through things and need a break but there are some that just simply don’t care about their supporters and will ghost for weeks multiple times out of the year and come back with nothing new or even an apology. i wish more content creators took this seriously because this is your job, you wouldn’t call in for months at a time if you were working a normal 9-5. i’ve unsubscribed to so many yt for this reason.
Okay listening while making a SHEIN cart 🫨🫨
She’s just giving me life this week, appreciate you sis !
I agree with the epidural! My contractions were constant by the time I needed one and the pain of contractions dulled any other feeling in my body lol
Motherhood looks so good on you babe😍😍💖💖✨✨✨ you’re honestly glowing!!!
Arnell is a Vibe. Love her ❤❤
I love the vulnerability & consistency! More videos like this 🥰🫶🏾
WAIT WHAT. thank god nobody i knew told me nothing bad about epidural or else i would’ve second guessed it and tensed up. didn’t feel anything honestly but yes i was relaxed and did it early
It’s the consistency for meeeeee!
The fyp parttttt!!!! I was so confused.
You're magic in front of the camera babe! Love it and thank you!! ❤
7:30 nah be honest abt ur thoughts on marriage! theyre YOUR thoughts! thats what we tune in to hear lol anyone who takes issue ain’t open minded to other ppl’s opinions. women aren’t a monolith and while j have my own thoughts on marriage i love to hear other women’s thoughts on marriage.
I agree because after my go to people disappear I will find someone else and when they come back I don’t have the full energy to watch them as I did before. The excitement is gone
The background looks like a wallpaper /green screen, love it!! 😍💖
Hey Arnell, I'm so happy you're back. I love you and look forward to seeing more posts :)
That’s why u never tell a guy what u have gone thru in the past. They will always use that against u
Sometimes men wanna know about your past relationships so that they can gauge what you’ll put up with and they can decide how to treat you.
My bd was a serial cheater and ur right-he kinda revealed both of those reasons to me years later
I loveeeee these videos Arnell!😭 something about them is so therapeutic
I love you ARNELL!!!❤
“It heals in a week” 😥😰😨😱 that’s so sad to hear her talk like that. I myself have been in that situation and walking away was so big because I literally couldn’t walk at one point from the things he did to me yea I healed but that psychological trauma is very much here to stay ❤
1:13 “to help carry on a man’s legacy…” you’re carrying on YOUR legacy, MAMA. you literally birthed the child, the child came from YOU. when they go out into the world, the child is representing you - BOTH parents. i hate when we as women act like legacy is only a thing for the males bc it’s definitely conditioning.
It’s because the child has the father’s last name.
@@bookbag6432I know but she’s still birthing the kid and so it’s also the mothers legacy. and a last name though means nothing to the child if that parent isn’t as present as the mother. mothers carry the most. I just don’t hear mothers mention that it’s also their legacy and that’s what bothers me.
@@SupernaturalLove100 yes that’s true. It’s just traditionally it’s been the father’s legacy to carry the last name and their business/inheritance. But with these broke men who are deadbeats, it’s kind of irrelevant. I hope she gave Noah both of their last names.
I love the consistency!❤️❤️
DV survivor! Everything you said Arnell you hit it on the head! I’d agree don’t get mad when you’re friend or you yourself are not ready to leave. They have to be ready. I’d suggest recording conversations and hiding them on a separate phone but keep that phone secretly stored. Keep photos of the physical abuse. Print them out and hide them in a file at work or at someone’s house you 100% trust. The purpose is to keep proof without the abuser finding out. You want to build that case so when you are ready to escape this will back you in court etc. if you have to go to court please prepare yourself for the witness stand. Their attorney will attack your character and it is a MUST to remain calm and answer your questions to the fullest! Ignore their yes or no only response as it’s their tactic to paint you in a different light. Explain why you hit back etc even if they said “I only said yes or no” KEEP TALKING to explain your actions! They hate that. Mentally prepare yourself for this. I have so much more to say but these are so important. 🫶🏽
Girl so real. No kids for me lol
Yassss your on a roll sis🤩🤸🏾♀️👏🏾❤️🔥
5:17 Me personally, I don't believe you can out-dress anyone apart from a wedding day. I want ppl to look and feel their best. I used to make myself uncomfortable because other ppl were uncomfortable. I'm not this super into fashion person. I'm going to dress for the occasion honestly. Also, like you said we have conversations about the vibes we're going for
Fav part of my week is ur uploads❤
I love your takes! We really have a lot of aligned opinions lol. ❤😂
Thank you for sharing your DA experience. I’m really sorry you went through that, thank God you’ve come through it and are excelling 🤍.