Star Trek: Beyond Stupidity
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- Опубліковано 24 вер 2020
- Set phasers to Drunk as I review the third (and hopefully final) movie in the rebooted Star Trek series - Star Trek Beyond.
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I’ve never gotten over J. J. Abrams telling Jon Stewart that he didn’t like Star Trek as a franchise because it was too philosophical. Right then, I knew all his Trek films were going to suuuuck.
I'd forgotten that, good recall. You just need a few more "u" 's in suuuuuuuuck.
mst3kharris wait, the guy who uses mystery boxes aka people's imagination to insert spectacle into his creations finds the pondering of said creative tool vexing? Guess he really is a hack.
That would be fine. It is a universe, explore what the director is good at. The star trek franchise is not the enterprise. That is the problem. Imagine if he gave us an 80's action flick entirely with TNG Klingons, or a Tarantino Klingon movie. Imagine a serenity/cowboy bebop like show with ferengi. Just a rag tag group of aliens trying to make a living on the edges of the semi communist utopia of the federation and the hyper capitalism of the ferengi, with some action scenes with Klingon mercenaries. Just make some characters and the show writes itself, but most importantly leaves the rest of the franchise un violated.
Yea, that should have forced him off the project. For some stupid reason I own all 3 movies but I can't even make myself watch them they're so horrid.
It's like that scene from VHF where the girl picks the mystery box and there's nothing inside. That's what watching an Abrams movie is like now. YOU SO STUPID!!!! LOL
JJ Abrahms: The man who ruined both Star Wars and Star Trek.
Star wars was ruined with Episode 1 already.
The guy is so good at destroying things they even named a tank after him!
Batman & Superman are up next!
And Lost
With a "little" help of Ruin Johnson...
"Admiral Chain Smoker" had me rolling!
The Expanse TV show has a lot of her in it...
@@josephiudice8287 She really doesn't have much nuance as an actor. Her niche was something like she did in the 24 series with Kiefer Sutherland.
Was literally just going to comment this
@@rodnabors7364 IDK, The Expanse certainly played to her strength. She was pretty believable as a driven politician with both a messiah complex and an ultimately justified paranoia.
@@rodneyhershkowitz4055Ditto
The funny thing is, even George Takei (in a rare moment of clarity) criticized the decision to make Sulu gay in Star Trek Beyond
It just seems so unnecessary in a spacefaring universe where they could literally invent any kind of character they want with any kind of sexuality they can dream up--even bizarre alien stuff. It just takes the viewer right out of the story, because you know they're only doing it to score some brownie points with a particular crowd in the real world. The illusion is broken as the puppet master dangles the strings right in front of you.
Ironically, making that change transforms Sulu from a character into an effigy--a totem for their ideology. It diminishes, rather than enhances both the character and the story.
That scene is why I will not buy the movie
George Takei said, " Oh myyyyyyy, too gay."
Because no matter what, he loves that character like we do. You know - staying faithful to how he was originally written and not used as a cheap doormat to the house of representation 🤦♂️
@@nathanpierce7681 Before calling an argument “dumb”, you should probably take the time to make sure you understand it first.
Having a gay character isn’t immersion-breaking. Changing a character’s sexuality at the eleventh hour with no explanation-making it obvious that it was done just to push “the message”-that is immersion-breaking.
They have introduced tons of new characters in new Trek. They could have easily made any number of them gay. Sulu was never gay, and he was even something of a lady’s man at times. The only reason they chose to break the gay ice with Sulu was because of the actor, not because of the character. It wasn’t just a revelation about Sulu-it was a contradiction of what we already knew about him. It’s like they thought George Takei had somehow been mistreated by asking him to play a straight character, and they had to “make it right.”
For an example of how this can be done well, take Cortez from Mass Effect. When we first meet him, he’s mourning the death of his husband. He’s obviously gay, but he’s not there to lecture the player about “the message.” He actually goes through a very sympathetic character arc about dealing with grief. He’s a well-written character that improves the story rather than distracting from it. Gay Sulu does the opposite-and the big “reveal” scene is even played like a gotcha moment; as if the writers were telling the audience, “ha! You probably assumed he had a wife-bigots!”
That’s the difference. Literally nobody is complaining about gay characters, so please put that straw man to rest. It’s lazy and tired.
Why the hell does the Federation keep giving Kirk ships?
"Congratulations, Kirk. Destroy just one more Enterprise this month and you're promoted to Admiral!"
Destroy 4 starships, get the 5'th one free.
Maybe they have a secret alien planet that has 1,000 Enterprise ships just waiting to be unleashed, ala Star Wars.
@@bill392 hell, the 3rd one came with a free icecream cone
It's just like juhjabrums career
Didn't they give him the Admiral's job but he turned it down?
When Leonard Nimoy was directing Star Trek 5, the head honchos wanted him to sacrifice story in favor of new flashy special effects. "Star Trek isn't about special effects, it's about the story," he told them. How times have changed.
Shatner directed 5. Nimoy directed 3 and 4. ;)
@@codyw1 He directed 3, too?!
@Dark Matter You know, no one ever says, "It was a really good story, but I hated the episode because of the poor practical effects." Good writing can survive technical issues; technical mastery can never rescue bad writing.
Star Trek was ALWAYS about the story and the fact that violence and aggression were only to be used as a means of last resort (Specter of the Gun). The writing is bad and the stories are awful because very few of today's writers can write about nothing new; it all has to be plagiarized and even then, it's been done far better by for more talented people.
@@Xeronex Except when Kirk and that one Klingon(I think it was one of the big 3 Ks we see in DS9) were very adamant about fighting each other because they couldn't take the hint to just chill the hell out and think things over for a.... oh wait...
My favourite part is that the villain's motivation is to get revenge because no one found his crew stranded in unknown space when that is literally a hazard of the job.
Yeah, considering the main villain was a career soldier before starfleet, so you'd think he understood the risks to begin with.
What is odd is that Scotty remarks about how "They're called starships for a reason." on the matter of atmo flight but he ignores the fact they had the Enterprise flitting about in the air AND underwater in the previous flick.
Considering how the Franklin has survived all this time and manages to kick ass far better and survive further damage compared to the Kelvin-prise, there certainly needed to be a more convincing explanation.
Many years after the end of WW2, a lone soldier was discovered in a remote jungle, still believing the war was still on.
He didn't turn against Japan....
@@neilgodwin6531 i doubt their life was easy after that though. It must have shifted his perspective on dedication to cause..
but maybe not cos seriously.. this person dug down and avoided contact and killing.. he might have maintained he was "fighting the war" but he mostly just avoided "enemies" and survived.. if he had been doing raids on towns he would have been found much earlier.
So probably after they just carried on doing mostly that. Ducking out of everything new and living by small means.
Disallusionment isnt exclusive. How many people join military forces thinking they will never actually get sent into battle and killed. Or think they are ok with it until they get shot or blown up and realise the country only sees you as ecpendable meat.. psychologically speaking.. turning against the peolple that sold you glory and delivered suffering isnt far fetched.
Especially if you felt wrongly burned becaude of the wrong motivation.
“…that guy who does the dumb car movies” 😂😂😂 no one has ever described that franchise better
Justin Lin
Indeed
This was the moment i gave the video a like 😅
Those movies are truly for the lowest common denominator in our society.
i love fast and the furious but that is pretty accurate
5:31 Even George Takei objected to Sulu being depicted as gay. Saying:
" _Unfortunately_ , _it’s_ _a_ _twisting_ _of_ _Gene’s_ _creation_ , _to_ _which_ _he_ _put_ _in_ _so_ _much_ _thought_ . _I_ _think_ _it’s_ _really_ _unfortunate_ ."
Make That Fictional Character into a Flanderized Version of Takei.
4:14 🤣🤣🤣
Movies today are required to meet the woke quota. If it doesn't exist then it gets slammed for _______(insert phobia here).
"Oh, my!"
Yeah, when Orange Man Bad George is being the voice of reason, you know you’ve fucked up.
We never recovered from the writers strike and even after all these years, hollywood still thinks they don't need to pay for competent writers.
Without good writing, you have terrible movies. Agree 100%.
I never really thought about that. You're probably right....
Shit.
Actually, I've heard the complaint is agents and other middle men over charging and pricing themselves out. The good writers are abandoning the system because they aren't getting paid, their agents are taking it all. So only those middle ground or desperate writers are left to fill the gap.
100 million on a movie, 2 bucks for the script
@@rifz42 Exactly. Plus, often it's a wannabe auteur director who pulls stuff out of their behind and calls it a screenplay.
Dear Drinker, I would like to thank you for putting me on the path to enlightenment. I took the money I saved by not watching anything from Hollyturd for the last five years and bought a bottle of 15 year old Scorch. Well done!
Lololol
14:44 So the starship still works. Wasn't Krala's whole deal that he was stranded on the planet? Doesn't "stranded" imply that that they have no way to get off the planet? But his ship still works, right?
Also how did he know the Enterprise had the artifact? How did he know Yorktown had been built?
would this not mean there engineer was s-it. yet able to make alien tec work ???
not even able to get a radio to work. by that crew must have been sooooo bad.
how did he get info about anything that was happening or had happened since they crash landed,
@@SethJL if i recall there was a little hint just after spock puts the artefact into storage that implies that someone is accessing the ships systems and computer files.
@@Colin_ Yes so many people forget that he has a terminal to access Starship files and logs.
Funny thing about Sulu, even Takei insists that Sulu is straight.
😆... Paramount desperately trying to demonstrate their 'woke' credentials. Like those Starbucks adverts that are all about gender reassignment and the coffee is incidental. What the fuck is that about?! Virtue signalling to sell overpriced coffee should surely be about paying coffee growers a decent price for their beans, not getting a fucking sex change! _smh_
_*Scottish accent implied_ 😜
@@handlebarfox2366 😆... I cannot help believing that advertisers view the hoi palloi as nothing more than a bunch of idiots to be manipulated. From that article:
_"Burger King has always stood for equality, love and everyone's right to be just the way they are," Kaisa Kasila, Burger King Finland's brand manager, said in a release. "We thought, what better way to convey our values than by portraying an all-encompassing kiss between Burger King and McDonald?"_
You sell cheap, mass-produced burgers, for fuck's sake! Pay your staff a living wage, stop sourcing your beef from lands where virgin rainforest has been stripped away to make room for cattle, _that sort of thing!_ Values? What values?!?
Vote with your feet, folks. Nothing else is going to change the world.
What's even funnier is how they tried to justify Sulu being gay in canon.
See, because Kirk's father was killed on the Kelvin and didn't get to be an influence in Kirk's life... something something Hikara Sulu prefers dudes to ladies.
Because Takei is actually someone who has the mental faculties to realize: changing people into your minority doesn’t build up that group, it just diminishes and angers another group, and puts everyone on a less cooperative road.
Even George Takei hated that they made Sulu gay. And he’s a massive SJW irl.
It was SO UNNECESSARY and took some people right out of the movie, instead reminding you of Hollyweird force feeding us SJW rubbish.
@Betty Jentry No... not Kevin James!!
Did Takei really say that? Huh... kinda surprises me.
Give them in an inch, they'll take a mile, and they'll still complain.
@@syntaxusdogmata3333 Yeah, he wasn't happy about them changing Sulu's character. I think he enjoyed Sulu being a suave flirt. He basically said, "we need more gay characters in movies, but not my character"
If I remember correctly, Ensign Demora Sulu was introduced to Captain Kirk. He then wonders, how Sulu get the time to start a family. I think it was McCoy who told him that you always got time for the important things. Indeed, Hikaru Sulu has a wife and a daughter. But it seems that in this alternate universe, that's not the case.
Unfortunately, this is a different timeline (the so-called and disastrous Kelvin Timeline, because of the events in the first Jar Jar Abrams film).
Jar Jar Abrams being the lazy git that he is and more interested in lens flares and mystery boxes that go nowhere, he just retcon'd the whole TOS timeline, just so he can free himself of any deep writing and turn ST into Fast & Furious In Space 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
@@thecloudtherapist Ahaha ! Jar Jar Abrams ! I did not know this nickname, but it suits him well. This guy is a real disaster for the cinema.
@@jerrymail Don't forget about Ruin Johnson
@@thecloudtherapist So you're telling me that they *_replaced_* all the events and characters from the original Star Trek with this timeline, effectively erasing what's came before in the process ?? If yes, then it's criminal.
@@xminusone1 No ideas is another word for it
Even Takei himself thought making Sulu gay was stupid
Kirk in the prime of his life, commanding the Federation flag ship, traveling the galaxy, but still depressed at the unfairness of life.
How _millenial._
LMAO
LOL!!!!
I’m millennial can confirm.
Good one!😆👍
“Sabotage” was JJ foreshadowing his handling Star Trek, Star Wars and DC franchises.
JJ is the impostor
To be fair, that far into the future, beastie boy would be considered as "classical" music.
What did JJ do to DC? Legit don't know.
He probably thought it would be an Intergalactic Sure Shot but people just ended up Body Movin the hell out of the theaters.
😂😂
Admiral Chain Smoker kills me. That's so freaking funny.
J. J. Abrams was able to kill 2 franchises both set in space, the man is a supernova!
I hope JJ Abrams won't dare to reboot Space balls.
“Did anyone even proofread this script?” A valid question these days with wide applicability...
Ain't nobody got time for that.
No one ever proofreads a Bad Robot script.
Skyfall is a case in point. That movie's writing is abysmal
They probably do. It's just their priorities during proofreading is not exactly focused on making good story. Sometimes, just on "Messages"
Proofreading and pointing out flaws is offensive and probably a microaggression so Hollywood doesn't do that anymore.
That “Sulu is gay” scene was so forced that I rolled my eyes.
I wish I would have just "rolled my eyes", I jumped off a balcony.
George Takei was quick to reject the idea that Sulu was now gay, saying it was not what Gene Roddenberry intended.
Even George Takei response was a bit political and I got the impression he was not fully on board.
@Deadpool *what impact does this gender preference reveal actually have to the crews surviving this attack?...why would anyone actually care?*
Sulu's gay by the way.
Having Avasarala as commander chainsmoker was easily the best part of the movie
In fairness, there doesn't seem to be evidence that her voice was the result of chain smoking, funny as it is. First time I heard it I thought she had bronchitis.
What was odd about her character was how her rank and position fit into the whole space station thing. Perhaps if they 'd had her say she was in nominal command due to the Space Stations head honcho being called away to Earth or something might have helped. I dunno. JJ could foul up fouling up a foul up thats for sure.
She also voices Admiral Rann in the Mass Effect series. Her voice actually works quite well for a quarion.
Y'know, when I watched this movie, I thought it was just Quantum of Solace levels of convoluted storyline because I couldn't wrap my head around it. Turns out, it was just so nonsensical that my brain was actively fighting against it. Hearing Drinker say, "was it just me? did I miss something?" really qualified that for me.
These reviews are more interesting than the actual movies
And they save you 2 hours if you skip the movie outright!
Better like to dislike ratio too
exactly what u would expect from a mindless droid
Hollywood has become MST3000.
Accurate
"Because it looks cool" - J. J. Abrams in a nutshell ...
JJ must hang out with Zack Snyder.
J. J. never understood Star Trek.
"Mystery boxes are cool" - also JJ Abrams
@@MrDman21 and Michael Bay
LENSE FLARES!
That gorgeous little bit of dialogue as you watch, the enterprise crashed through into the atmosphere, my God bones. What have I done… that scene lives rent free in my head
It stands out as a great scene in an otherwise crappy movie. However, I think it's out of character, not because Kirk wouldn't mourn the loss of his ship, but because he's still in a fight for his life. He would put off the mourning until later.
I respectfully disagree. In The Naked Time when Kirk is fighting the infection that has ravaged his crew and caused Riley to lock himself in Engineering and power down the warp drive, Kirk steels himself and rallies his strength saying..."I'll never lose you.. Never lose you" referencing the Enterprise. From that scene alone we see how critical the Enterprise is to Kirk, how powerful a force it is in his life. Watching it burn up in the atmosphere of the Genesis planet had to have been the most intensely painful experience of his life, so yes indeed, he'd take that moment to mourn the loss of the one thing that defined his life to that point. The USS Enterprise: NCC1701. @@anonygent
@@anonygent yes but the whole context, that is his moment for grief, I think the ship does mean enough to him that watching it go down like that is his one moment of questioning before bones reminds him of exactly what you’re saying. I get you but I think it works a lil more than that
@@anonygent
STAR TREK 3
THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK
is a good movie
Damn that admiral is a pack away from becoming Palpatine
Picard + Discovery = Discard
Lol
Nicely done !
or Picovery....
YT, if you made this up, you're my hero. Until another hero comes along.
So now we have STD and Discard.
When George Takei expresses his displeasure with gay representation, you know your movie is terrible.
@Jeffery Amherst dbz abridged
I heard he's a foul POS. So I don't care about his displeasure.
*oh, my*
Listen, I agree Takei can be a monumental ass but even a monumental ass occasionally shits in the right place. That Takei would come out and say just because he is gay doesn't mean the character he played was gay is spot on. Sulu is Sulu and Takei is Takei. I know the whole thing of the new Trek universe was the time split but it was NOT a character change. Certainly characters may develop differently after that split from the ones we became familiar with but a 20/30 year old Sulu would not suddenly become homosexual after that time divergence.
As Takei said in one of the few times I can agree with him, introducing a character who is gay is fine but it should be a NEW CHARACTER who doesn't have an entire history of NOT being gay already established.
@Abe Tsenoh And now we know why.
It’s amazing how much of Star Trek Abrams managed to destroy.
Drinker was on a comedic roll on this one. Nailed it.
I think you're confusing comedy with tragedy. Sometimes humour is all that's left, you've got to laugh at the end. When things are utterly hopeless, depressing, objectionable, cruel, pathetic, and ugly. Turn your disappointment, rage, disgust, hate, and pity into sarcasm.
He's not trashing the movie as much as he's criticizing the children who bungled and vandalized it.
@@pwnmeisterage Either way. Two Thumbs Up, you guys, but you have to share.
"...directed by That Guy that does the dumb car movies" --Best line of 2020.
Christoph Lehman you get a stupid car movie... In space!
The movies got bad when they stopping focusing on real drag racing and became Avengers
I did not know this... Why did they not have Duane Johnson in this movie? LOLOLOLOLOL!
Frankly, I'd rather sit through those "dumb car movies" and anything from Star Trek and Star Wars that came out as of late.
At least those movies were self-aware and don't take themselves too seriously, at least not in the same way that the recent Star Trek stuff has been (disregarding the animated Rick & Morty ripoff), and I at least remember them, no matter how ridiculous they become.
And I'll freely admit to liking Fast & Furious both ironically and legitimately, without needing to sound like The Last Jedi apologists.
Justin Lin is the greatest action director. He's good doing car chases in action movies and his F&F movies are pretty good.
"I didn't think it was possible to emasculate a starship"
Fucking hell, lol
Especially since ships are girls.
@9:00 McCoy provided all of the context needed for the scene (Wrath of Kahn) when the Enterprise is destroyed. "You did what you had to do, what you've always done. Turn death into a fighting chance to live."
No such dignity for the doomed ship under the SS (S--t Show) Abrams.
He must have forget about Femputer.
the NEW START TREK is just like the old START TREK... plus the SMELL of ASS.
" The theft, ....and destruction of the starship Enterprise..., Federation property......." Kirk was accused , his future in jeopardy .
Kelvin Kirk destroys a ship, they just make him another one. WTF ?.
It says a lot about how bad this film is that I’d genuinely forgotten ever watching it until I was halfway through this video😂
The film is so bad that I even had difficulty following/enduring Drinker's plot summary.
I understand it. It happens to me with rings of Power. And the Disney Lucas films movies. I simply decided to forget them.
I couldn't stop laughing at "Admiral Chain-Smoker." 😂😂
*Every. Single. Alien.* in this looks like a rip off of Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest
Star Trek aliens are literally Rick and Morty aliens but Unironically stupid.
Which itself looked like a rip-off of Star Trek.
@@godless-clump-of-cells Its an homage - its _literally_ supposed to
@@ToadJones Well, Dr Who aliens are sort of like Star Trek aliens, but in floating trashcan form.
Well, yeah. This isn't XCOM, Alien, or Metroid. Were you expecting an alien to actually look the part?
If anyone is curious, George Takei doesn't like the fact they made Sulu gay.
yea that didn't make since
Oh? Really. I suppose because he was a lady’s man.
Nope. nobody is curious. that's half the comments on this. Nobody wants or needs to know by now but thanks.
I get it. No actor wants their character changed, a character they acted well, to be mutated to be more like them and not like the role they used their acting skills to portray. I mean, no real actor wants to be a Ben Stiller or any other actor that acts out their own personality as anything their character is. I get it. Sulu was never gay. George played a straight guy, Sulu, for decades. Making Sulu gay is a big middle finger to Sulu's acting.
interesting. thanks for the info.
It's a shame that CGI completely destroys imagination because they rely on visual effects rather than a well written story
I'm re-experiencing all the anger and indignation I felt when I saw the first 'new' Star Trek movie.
Contact me for your reward ❤️🎊🥳
"This is Jayla - a strong, independent plot device" 😂
Drinker nails it as usual 🤣
Macguffin Sue
9/10 would bone. Higher brain disengaged. Lower brain engaged. Movie better, but cannot remember details. Clearly for the best... I thought that the movie started with her... And I know I watched the whole thing...
The fun thing is that, she could be a material for an interesting side story. As portrayed at first, she looks like a 6 ft bipedal sentient Mongoose, and he is supposed to be a superhuman...he could have her on his own side for cheap prize, hell, that's explained in TCD's critic ! Maybe she could even die into enemy fire for sparing him damage, that would make her own people / species GREAT ! Instead of that, the movie makers came up with useless talk. Stupid...
Not funny.
Sulu being gay was meant as an homage to Takei. When he'd heard about it, he called it out for the pandering it was, as he agreed with you that the character was straight.
Of course he was straight. We even saw Sulu's daughter on the bridge of the Enterprise B, in Star Trek Generations. They just tried to score some points with the LGBT community, and it backfired.
Its what happens when you overthink a working concept to churn out the office work rate and collect a paycheck.
Cringey.
Actually supposedly George Takei walked back the earlier comment calling it out as Pandering....
www.pinknews.co.uk/2016/07/14/george-takei-says-he-is-thrilled-that-sulu-is-gay/
@@dukebanerjee4710 when people point to star trek as being leftist, I point out the ferengi and the first time harry kim met quark. Harry basically calls him a dirty jew.
I give Beyond the grudging respect that it was the best of the JJTrek movies. I mean, the bar is on the floor, and it only managed to crawl under the linoleum, but it almost got there.
5:50 And the worst is that Takei, who is a LGBT activist, was opposed to Sulu being gay because it's not how the character was defined.
"- My God Bones, what have I done
- What u had to do. What u always do. Turn death into a fighting chance to live"
Oh how we miss old Star Trek...
Use of internet abbreviations in the script really help give it more depth and gravitas.
what a fucking line that is
We also miss correct spelling.
Starships really built to last, except when they go into battle with anything.
They just don't build 'em like they used to.
@@PupuTheMonkey You could say the same about the films.
You're totally right! As long as "built to last" doesnt mean "built to last a long time" but instead means "built to last against weapons specifically designed to destroy it" then I 100% agree with you.
Also the ships don't seem to have shields that actually do anything useful
@@morningstar9233 yeah, makes sense to me! 😂😂
As a fan of Macross I can't deny the appeal of winning a space battle with music, but the funny thing is that it would have actually made some semblance of sense if they said "let's play loud music on the exact frequency the enemies communicate". Instead they said "let's play loud music on an UNEXPECTED frequency". Like they have intentionally avoided making sense even when they could.
I hate that the Drinker is the only honest critic left and to make it worse he gets unspeakable amounts of hate for it.
That tells me he is over the target.
And now he's hanging out with Ben Shapiro 😂
5:30 Even George Takei objected to Sulu being gay, saying something to the effect of, "Just because *I'm* gay, that doesn't mean the character I played *has* to be _gay_ ! That's just insulting."
He's right, its blatant pandering and unnecessary in a Sci fi adventure story.
It's not a romance, the characters sexuality is irrelevant.
It is relevant because today idiots from the left keep pushing for representation. "How can he play a gay, he was never gay!" "how can she play trans female she is straight!" "how can he play disabled, there are enough disabled people to play one" and so on. America allows that to happen each and every day.
@@zrider100z I mean, there's really not much you can do outside of protesting it with your wallets and critique it. Or simply create art and get more involved in the culture. I hate it as much as the next guy, but in the end. It's just a movie.
The Enterprise is "overcrashed". In the original movies, it was a one-time thing, It was a watershed moment, because everyone knew and loved the Enterprise. It's been done so much now, that it means nothing at all.
I agree. It was a heart-wrenching moment when the Enterprise crashed in the originals. Now the crew get through Enterprises faster than supermarkets get through toilet paper in a pandemic.
If our British naval captains were getting through aircraft carriers at the same rate, they'd get retired off double-quick.
At least the first time it was part of a clever maneuver to turn a hopeless situation around.
I remember when it was crashed in the original film it made the newspapers, it was such a big shock. People were stunned, the Enterprise was another character, it was like killing off Scotty or Uhuru.
Yea I am not sure but didn't the ship blow up in every new movie now? It at least felt that way
@@hulmhochberg8129 I think the initial destruction was so effective in how audiences reacted they now think it adds drama and excitement. All I think now is Star Fleet must have a space hanger full of spare Enterprises.
Dude, a friend recommended your channel to me, as they thought i would like it - man, were they right! You're awesome, my man! A bit too civil, in my opinion, but still very straightforward and critical! Keep up the good work!
"so set your phasers to f*cked once more ..." Yeah, JJ Abrams drove me to the fan-made ST Continues. It isn't perfect, but gosh is it close. As opposed to all the 21st-century official Treks, which can't seem to figure out what makes actual Star Trek.
“I really didn’t think it was possible to emasculate a starship”
**coughs in solo a Star Wars story**
On the subject of the Enterprise, why are the warp nacelles so close together in the Kelvin Timeline movies?
True
Because the new writers, the new designs, the producers, and the director forgot one vital character of the whole series; the actual ship. The Enterprise of the original series was a beautiful vessel; bow to stern. It had a balance silhouette between the different hulls and the main engines. It was sleek, fast, and powerful just by the look of it. As a kid, this is the very first reason I fell in love with the series.
Now, you have this hideous, bulbous, mess of disproportionate cylinders, thinned out and abstract hulls for absolutely no reason, and a neck that makes someone want to strangle it to death. I feel sick every time I look at the ship from this series. What's funny is that the new Enterprise at the end of this film looks no different and inspires no feeling of pride.
The phasers of the original design were powerful by the sounds they made and how they were displayed and seldom used. The photon torpedoes were only used as a weapon of last resort. They were described as a weapon not to be taken lightly and dangerous. Now, this series has the ship firing phasers and photon torpedos, and star wars laser cannons for every little spec of space they encounter. If you want my opinion, this is how the ship has been emasculated.
What do you mean? The Falcon Was great in solo.
Darkness1984 they injected the spirit of l337 into it
"Don't believe them. Don't trust them."
"They are dying."
"Let them die!"
*"does that mean we get to keep all their stuff afterwards?...asking for a friend*
"Are you afraid of the future?"
@@Deridus - "I believe that was the general idea that I was trying to convey."
I see what you guys are doing here.
@@tanisdevelopment I don't mean this future
"Admiral chainsmoker" 😂😂😂
I noticed this a long time ago, and a lot of what Drinker says here is spot on. My analysis of JJ Trek:
An enormous ship that arrived where it is thanks to a black hole threatens Earth, and the Enterprise is the only ship that can stop it. The Motion Picture or 2009?
Khan has acquired a super weapon, and only Kirk and company can stop him. There is also a radiation caused death in the dilithium chamber. Wrath of Khan or Into Darkness?
Kirk and company are separated from the crew and the Enterprise is destroyed, and a villain seeking a super weapon is at the heart of the matter. Search for Spock or Beyond?
I told people after Beyond that if there was a 4th movie, it would involve time travel and whales. Well, we know from what has been said that the time travel part is confirmed. As for the whales? These people have no creativity or original ideas, and there is still time to add them. Don't count them out yet!
Star Trek: Discover Your Inclusiveness has space whales, called gormaganders :)
"Is there ever a scenario where the Enterprise DOESN'T get its ass kicked?"
THANK YOU! I swear, based on how the Enterprise does in combat, the Federation's primary construction material must be "well wishes"
Don't forget the explodium armor.
Why do people think this U-Boat with dildo engines is cool again?
@@brosephnoonan223 It's an U-BOAT with Dildo Engines.Very Nostalgic
XD
U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 Constitution class "Thoughts and prayers"
That awkward moment where you realize the only reason the heroes can succeed is because the villain effectively forgot where he parked his ship...
Hahaha nice The Voyage Home reference
6:54 "Admiral Chainsmoker". That's gold right there!!!!
9:58 - "This is Jaylah - a strong female plot-device!" 😂 Well put, as usual.
JJ wasn't content with bringing down one insanely loved franchise. He wants to burn them all.
I'd say he just singed star trek, he napalmed star wars. Though I'm not a fanatic fan of either franchise - so I may not have the best ground for speaking of the subject.
@@ChristianSandviknes Fair enough. I do think the first Star Trek was very interesting and laid some cool groundwork. As a legit trekkie I was satisfied. It was the sequels and TV shows that finally buried it for me. Really sad to see where it went.
@@zonesproductions For me they were all watchable, though the first was the best - but nothing groundbreaking. Before watching it though, I wasn't biased against, or hyped for the movies - since I had very little interaction with star trek back then, so I may have missed a ton of references a true fan might have loved.
He’s remaking Harry Potter.
I’m kidding. But wouldn’t be surprised.
Some men just want to see the world burn 🔥 . In all honesty, JJ's main problem is trying to do things that are "cool" instead of trying to write an actual intelligent story.
Even George Takei himself was against making the character Sulu gay.
people watch movies and not be want propagandized during the movies. sulu gay stuff needs to go.
George a real one for that
But whose gonna fly it. Kid "? You ? joke.
@@DerrufoKonepke no one is saying to remove the character they are saying as well as the original actor George takei is saying don’t put agenda stuff in the new movies sulu was never gay he can fly a ship gay or not when talking about the character someone flying it was never the issue......... so not sure why this comment exists
@@Bobbiesgonewild just a guy who likes to insert star wars stuff in to any almost any thing but without notice...good reply from you.
Let’s not forget the heroes take old ship that supposedly stranded the villains and just use it to fly away.
Star Trek, Enterprise destroyed.
Star Trek Into Darkness, Enterprise destroyed.
Star Trek Beyond, Enterprise destroyed . . . The point?
Usually when the Captain loses a ship; they get another one. But in these stupid movies; Starfleet just keeps giving him a new ship EVERY TIME!! 😆😆😆😆.
In the first Movie the Enterprise got Hit by only one Torpedo.
So Scotty could repair the "Franklin" in a couple of days, something the original crew couldn't manage in 100 years?
It's not clear that the original crew even tried. Which only makes the motivation of the villain even stupider; why seek revenge against the Federation for abandoning you when you didn't even try to return under your own steam.
I wanna ask "You ever see what Scotty can do with an Apple II?", but that's giving Simon Pegg too much credit.
In addition to “its Scotty” and the extra 100 years of technical knowledge, I also see no reason to assume that Jaylah was idle for however long she was trapped on the planet.
Of course. He’s Scotty.
TBF they gave up on that ship decades ago and Scotty's technical knowledge is way beyond theirs.
The reason Jaylah is safe in that ship is because Krall has pretty much forgotten it still exists.
Kirk dodging energy blasts by riding a motorcycle, and a Beastie Boy song takes out an enemy fleet. And Simon Pegg, who co-wrote the movie, blames its failure on “poor marketing.”
he stole a classic car in the first reboot movie (as a bad boy)
now he gets to ride an "old" motorcycle AND an "old" starship too
yay
Hey, the Beastie Boy song taking out the entire fleet was the best part of the entire movie.
@SpaghettiandSauce
So too was Star Trek, once upon a time. At least in a fair number of episodes.
Yes, 'poor marketing' as in, it showed what a turd this movie was so some of us could avoid seeing it.
Pegg is massively overrated, overexposed and overdone.
I thought it was really bad when I saw it as well. You make some good detailed points, especially the theft of iconic old scenes, bereft of their meaning when lifted from their original contexts, and also good point about the heavy reliance on coincidences--apparently used to scaffold the various flimsy plot points, like some kind of narrative Ponzi scheme.
My favorite part was when they drove the Franklin off the edge of a cliff to make it fly, like it was glider using wings not a star ship that relied on rockets and impulse engines.
Contact me for your reward ❤️🎊🥳
A funny point is George made it clear the character Sulu wasn't gay even though he was..they ignored him.
Additionally, Sulu always showed interest in Uhura so he, not Spock would have been dating.
they subverted Spock's character to reinvent him. JJ is such a genius. give him SW. oh wait.
Do you think Sulu's husband gave birth out of his butt in the future?
@@atomiswave2 hmm..maybe they used the transporter and made a mini Sulu.
Sulu liking TOS Uhura is precisely why he didn't want this skinny, bitchy, bossy reboot of her. He hated her so much their one date turned him gay!
While Spock... well, you remember what a horrible person T'Pring was. Seems our half-Vulcan friend has a type.
@@stevenscott2136 Nah. Spock respected and was programmed to hunt out T'Pring. He never actually loved her.
Hey, just for kicks, hunt down a Memory Beta-grade not-canon but official novel called "Spock's World" by Diane Duane.
I've already given you enough to spoil it, but if you like Trek and original-Trek world-building, this book is worth it.
Convieniance, coincedence and contrivance. The cornerstones of 99% of modern Hollywood films.
Sulu is a romantic, a ladies man. In " The man trap" he talks to Janice Rand. In "The naked time" he swash buckles his way to the bridge, grabs Uhura and states, " Fair maiden" Uhura fights back as Spock has Sulu subdued.
See, a ladies man. NOT GAY.
@@johnbockelie3899 But this is an alternate universe where villain motivations are reductive nonsense and everything moves and shouts with the urgency of a reality show.
@@commandercaptain4664 This is what I was about to respond; but as much as I dislike them, these movies are literally fanfic, and don't matter.
I watch these because the Drinker is funny.
You know that’s not true!
@@colingznetworkplus4618
I know it is true.
When they went from the original movies to the modern, Abrams, etc. movies, they targeted a different audience. They weren't interested in Trekkers; they went after the X-box crowd. That explains the explosions every 22 seconds. They hit rock bottom and started digging with phaser handles.
That's the case for so many franchises/series/movies these days.. meanwhile those who kept these franchises alive for all these years have nothing left.
And his now trademarked "lens flares"...
The enemies destroyed their ship and then boarded them lol they got a few minutes to find the artifact before they all die... great plan.
All sci-fi took a major downgrade when it became a trend for everyone
We also still have Legend of the Galctic Heroes. Of course, that's a 1980's anime with 110 episodes with political discussions about autocracy vs. democracy, dozens of characters and no dub, so...
Yeah, don't have to worry about anyone ruining that anytime soon.
@Benjamin McCann Villeneuve made the plain awful Fantasy that is Arrival and the massive disappointment that was Blade Runner 2049.
Alex Garland is the writer and director of the horror movie masquerading as Sci-Fi that is Ex Machina and the frankly stupid Annihilation!
Neither have made a good Sci-Fi movie yet!
@@franohmsford7548 ... Couldn't you still Ex Machina as Sci-Fi horror, though? Not in the same manner as Alien, mind you, but it has enough elements of both I feel you could make the argument.
And I kind of liked 2049. Not as much as the original, and I was deifinitely led to believe Ford would play a bigger part (didn't surprise me that he didn't, because I know advertisements do this a lot), but some of what they tried to do I feel was interesting and a good jumping off point from the original. Though even I have trouble defending it's length: you could have told that story shorter. That's just my opinion, and I also didn't wait for years for a sequel, so I probably also just took it as it was.
@@FlyingFocs The Villains in Blade Runner 2049 were Pathetic! The film was an inferior copy of the original with an unrelatable hero and all style no substance!
I've actually never been a huge fan of the Original btw... I'm a massive Harrison Ford fan but I wouldn't put Blade Runner in my Top 10 Harrison Ford movies, not with 3 Star Wars movies, 2 Indiana Jones movies, Regarding Henry, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, The Devils Own and Air Force One taking up those spots and Witness, Hollywood Homicide and maybe Last Crusade would be ahead of Blade Runner too but it is a good film unlike 2049
As for Ex Machina - Yes it has a sci-fi veneer but it's a generic horror movie at its heart with an ending that actually made me furious that I'd wasted 2 hours watching that pile of crap!
@Benjamin McCann denis did good but garland has only made ex machina
That one scene where the TOS crew watches the Enterprise burn in the sky holds more emotional weight than anything in the entire Kurtzman-Abrams universe.
I was really sad when I saw that scene as a kid.
well yeah
I swear they got the idea for the saucer section crash land from Generations thats the movie that scene made me think of... Thing is watching this Enterprise go down was no biggie really barely even knew this ship only saw it in 2 other movies. At least the Enterprise D in the Prime Timeline was a legendary ship.
I was tearing up just at the clip. I haven't seen the movie and am working my way through TOS, but damn, the look on their faces, their shoulders, the stillness in that shot with mild to no wind, the colors of the sky being so peaceful yet the burning ship.
All I can say is DAMN it hurts
@@joecostantino3684 when I watched the Enterprise-D crash, I didn't feel as much as I did for the TOS Enterprise destruction. TOS blowing up was a last desperate hail Mary to save the day. The D crashing was more due to a bunch of our legendary crew suddenly becoming incompetent when they've gotten out of much worse, and there was also a time travel event in play that could undo it (and at least does to save the crew from being killed by a supernova, but going back a few more extra minutes could have saved the ship). It was just blown up for a pointless reason that doesn't serve the plot like TOS did.
I want to see a Star Trek remake with Critical Drinker as Scotty, where he’s allowed to ad-lib his lines.
“I’m giving her all she’s got Captain - BELIEVE THAT!”
To The Critical Drinker: Thank you for your reviews! I have enjoyed every single one that I’ve seen so far because your critiques are spot on!
The reviews of this movie, when it was released, made me realize there were no critics I could trust anymore.
This movie made me realize I can't trust Fandoms to respond to critics appropriately.
Grinding us down, as society. Look what it has led to, today...
*and everyone has done this, people snap out of it
never have been.
fake news. fake impeachments. fake reviews. They all hate the Critical Drinker for telling it as it is.
"Ship destroys hostile fleet with Beastie Boys music" sounds like fanfiction written under the influence of LSD.
That would explain a lot about JJ and his movies.
So most fanfics?
(I'm not trying to trash all aspiring writers just look at good examples of writing in a universe you want to make a fanfic about then work within the standards of that universe instead of puling shit outta your ass)
… it does sound awesome though 😅
Yeah and using Beastie Boys? Well since their music was decades before this movie came out I guess you can’t call it pandering to the kiddies…but they’re still a commercial product. If “loud” music was required to defeat the enemy ships, why not use Sonic Youth, Hüsker Dü, Dinosaur Jr, Glenn Branca, or My Bloody Valentine, from the same general era? Oh yeah, they’re not nearly as well known for a potential soundtrack (and also much better, and would actually challenge, or unhinge (the point of using music in this scenario) listeners in the audience )
I think you mean LDS!
Thanks for saying it all out loud, Drinker. That movie was like a 2-hr-long version of a video game bootup sequence.
You had me at "dumb car movies"!!! 😅😅😅
"Admiral Chain Smoker".
did no one noticce that she is from another space program and seem to be playing the same part some one in charge
@@davidsworld5837 yes Avarasala from Expanse
I didn’t notice til I saw this review. No idea she was in this. She’s awesome in the expanse 👍🏻
@@davidsworld5837 I think she also voiced a Quarian admiral in Mass Effect 3.
@@madmechanicus9405 I would not know this never played the game if i had i would recognise the voice
Nothing’s beyond stupidity these days Mr Drinker.
Still the most fun of the three reboot Treks though. That said I ever ever want to watch it ever again. Just last month as a family we had a double bill of Voyage Home and Undiscovered Country. Now they were proper Star Trek films.
The Voyage Home and Wrath Of Khan were the best Trek movies.
@@desperatemohammedantheworl5833 I agree that its probably the best out of new trek. That's saying a lot lol. I saw it at the cinema with my Dad and remember enjoying it. A year later I saw it again on TV and forgot about 2/3rds of the film.
Then I started watching the TOS and realised just how awful the new films were.
@@dongately2817 I think Undiscovered Country is almost on parr with those two, if it had been the last Star Trek film it would have been a worthy epitaph for the franchise.
@@dongately2817 Man, I watched Wrath of Khan for the first time this year. I was in tears by the end. What a film!
12:30. There is a distinct lack of originality even now, because "group gets stranded and seeks revenge" is simply a retread of the Khan backstory.
I remember how people criticized Star Trek: Nemesis. However, compared to the rebooted films, Nemesis looks like an absolute masterpiece
CD: "I really didn't think it was possible to emasculate a starship ... "
This is our new flagship, we designed it to look cool while exploding.
Remember Solo?
"it's a lot like watching a toddler fingerpainting on the Mona Lisa -- with his own poo." Absolutely agree. Great line.
The real shame is this is probably the most star trek any of this rebooted shite has ever been
"...with their own poo.". As a father, classic.
The best part about the new Trek movies was Karl Urban as bones, they should have developed the relationship between the iconic trio of Kirk, Spock and McCoy
more with each film. Zoe Saldana was good as Uhura and Pine could have been a decent Kirk if he did not have JJ Abrams stink all over them.
It's weird that they pushed him into the background. It's been said over and over again that the trio was what made ST great and yet he took a backseat.
wat the fuck dude, thats billy butcher? but is it really???? he looks so different
Agreed. Most of the actors they picked are pretty good (though I'm not keen on Simon Pegg's Scotty). They messed up Uhura and Spock with that stupid love affair, completely out of character for both of them and damages both characters, but that was on the writers not the actors. The Bones/Spock/Kirk trio could have been great again with competent writing.
Society demonizes male bonding. It's been gaslighted as gay for decades. And it was a nice subversive touch to make the vulcan want the magical vajayjay - and cry a lot.
Karl Urban tried his best, alas...
The "shields" thing drives me nuts in the new movies. They always make a big show of activating shields and then immediately take massive hull breaching damage from the first barrage from any enemy ship. It's like the CGI firm forgets to add the shields in. So weird.
I’ve always hated that too. It’s amazing how much thought went into the old shows and movies. They were damaged by shockwave mostly at first.
That's one of the only things done right in The Last Jedi, a shield on one of the rebel ships is shown completely negating repeated turbolaser hits. But everywhere else it seems like shields do nothing at all. Also, why do no ships have armor? Just windows that look easily broken?
@@nicholastuttle2445 Not windows, camera I think.
@@nicholastuttle2445 This is why I loved so much Battlestar Galactica. Military shipd did not have windows and a bridge was in fact in the center of the ship. It was impossible to shot or board bridge directly. It even had a feeling as if it was submarine bridge with size of a cruiser bridge. Oh, and battlestars were really heavily armored.
@@OldSkullSoldier I’ve found many things stupid about Starfleet ship design. Bridges on the outside of the ship instead of the centre for example. (Heck I’d put a lot of things in the centre of the ship such as a medical deck in a short walking distance from the bridge) safety harnesses for everyone-especially the bridge seats. Have you seen the five point harnesses real life airline pilots use? Warp nacelles that stick out so far and at absurd angles, I mean shit, even if it was how warp technology worked and you needed distance between the nacelles and deflector there are far superior ways of doing it than nacelles on sticks.
Something a bit along the lines of a bird or prey or a warbird? But equally you could just take the general shape of a modern widebody aircraft and place the nacelles on the wing tips instead of slung under the wings like say, an A350. The deflector could be either split into two smaller units and slotted where the wing meets the body, or embedded in the hull where the nose fattens out into the widest part of the main body. You could definitely put weapons on the wings.
Ugh, and what’s worse is that by the time of DS9 they appear to have largely solved that problem because the Defiant has no pylons or wings to space out of warp nacelles so I guess they could start designing much more practical ships. I could go on, but I’ve made my point already.
"Admiral Chain Smoker" - LOL!! Also - I totally lost my sh!t at 13:57. LOL!!!
That woman who said the only ship with more advanced technology is still under construction.. she definitely has a much better part in The Expanse lol. Recognized her and that accent easily. Admiral Chainsmoker did a great job as Chrisjen Avasarala
Honestly, i wish Hollywood would hire guys like you to tear their scripts apart. That way they could be improved and we all could have better movies.
The people who wrote DS9 for example or the drinker himself.
but they wouldn't be able to pat themselves on the back if they did that.
Those used to be called 'dramaturge' back in the day; or, 'producer'.
Except that hollywood's motivation is NOT to make good movies, but make money... Stupid people are the majority of humanity, and stupid people love to watch this s*** = M O N E Y!
"Nah, it'll be fine." said Jar Jar Abrams, to your suggestion.
"Besides, if the studio does that, I'll be out of a job!" He noted.
The Critical Drinker should get his hands on Cats(2019).Amazing movie.
*looking for the sequel....Cats...Spayed*
There's not enough alcohol in the UK for that.
The film as bad as getting run over by your car after getting to put the handbrake on.
He should review 'sausage party' (2016)
Come on y'all it was a tribute to Furrys everywhere.
The enterprise itself was a character,and she was a survivor,so seeing her blown up in search for spock was an actual emotional moment,now lacking all creativity the enterprise is blown up in every movie.
04:53 Which is stupid because they never should have had a relationship because Spock had a betrothed named T'Pring. Which Orci, Kertzman, and Abrams would have known if they'd done any research AT ALL
The villain crash landed onto a planet with functioning technology that allowed for space travel, knew the coordinates back home... and not once during those hundred years thought "Let's take a ship and go back home?!"
And they get upset about being abandoned?
I guess even in a future with limitless resources humanity still can't fix stupid.
Not to mention they send that women who poses as a "survivor" why didnt they do that 100 years ago?
Please don’t ever get rid of the slow speed Leelu laugh, it’s brilliant and kills me everytime 😆
You said it! Leelu makes my day.
Here's another Drinker Review which has FOUR LEELU LAUGHS - ua-cam.com/video/ctHFNIhitTk/v-deo.html
Slow speed Leelu laugh, farting in the mud (poo?) puddle and Tyrion puking, check!
Totally agree mate!
@@dentheman1797 farting in the poo is a scene from Not Another Teen Movie, a hilarious film too.
corbin dallas multi pass!
Star Trek Beyond has the most perfect name ever. You watch it one time and anything "Beyond" that is crazy😎🍿
Totally agree. Excellent points, superbly delivered.
They stole that perspective joke about the aliens actually being small from Futurama. FUTURAMA
They probably took it from something too. Not saying they did but I wouldn't be surprised. Simpsons rehashed things all the time but it's the execution that counts.
It’s not original either way
Douglas Adams did it prior to both; see G'Gugvuntt/Vl'Hurg fleet.
It's "Benderama" time! Start biting...
@@StoneCorazon Originality is not a necessity. Like Stexen up there said, it's all in the execution.