Very insightful. How true it is that the very thing we use to cope with our feelings (such as binging bc of shame), leads to more of that feeling. Yes, please make a video about feeling our feelings. Thanks so much.
This is so true. I was so much in denial I left therapy at first because my therapist tried to tell me that I'm restricting and it's causing me to binge. Part of the problem was not even trying to address other issues that needed immediate first aid which was my BPD.
Ahhhhhhh GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!! Seriously though, definitely going to have to chew on this and rewatch probably a few times to fully sink in. Thank you!
I have BPD as well. Recognizing and labeling emotions and feelings has been very challenging for me. I would really like for your to do a video on emotions/ feelings in regards to food. Thank you for your work!
I'm way late to this video, but can't tell you how important it was for me to hear this video. I really need help with my eating, and it was refreshing to hear the "coping mechanism" aspect of eating put in such a succinct way. "The coping mechanism becomes the coping mechanism FOR the coping mechanism" was a gut punch. I need to explore more. Thank you.
AMAZING!!! it seems so simple as you spelt it out but it was really a lot of lightbulb moments going on for me. Thank you thank you for this I would love to learn how to feel my feelings. They make me so anxious. I’m so afraid that they will consume me.
so glad I found your channel 🙏 I‘m in my fiftys now and have always been struggeling with my eating habits. It is just now that I start questioning the why rather then restricting what I eat. I‘m a little nervous about what my feelings will start to tell me once I decide to listen to them. I hope its not to late 😔
Excellent content Sarah!! Loving everything you said!!! Coping mechanisms are a great topic. I think They are a way to survive. The problem is when the coping mechanism is toxic. I have 2 bad coping mechanism right now in my life. I will be brave and try to reduce them by baby steps. Please a video about feeling your feelings!!!! 🥰❤️🥰
Thanks for being here with us and bringing light on how it’s happening inside. I do relate a lot to resistance to feel. And feeling tired when „I’m not supposed to” speaks a lot to me. Video on how to let ourselves feel would be much appreciated. Warm greetings from krakow to the UK :)
Thank you so much for making these videos. Your messages resonate with me so much and I'm learning ways to help myself. I would love to see a video about how to manage our feelings.
Being tired is really a big one for me, Thank you for bringing it up 👍🏼 Unfortunately, I don’t experience it as a feeling but more as a physical state that can completely stop me in my daily activities. Having busy days and many responsabilities, I really fear tiredness and always try to find a « coping mecanism » 😉
I thought about it afterwards and I could see that the very things I did to avoid tiredness (usually eat sugar) where making me more tired in the long run. When I don’t fight with tiredness I feel less tired than when I accept it. I have experienced the full blown fatigue that knocked me off my feet and it was a real binge trigger for me.
I sooooo relate to turning to Sugar when tired to keep going 😜!!! I love your practice of Acceptance vs fighting it or overriding the fatigue with binge behavior !!! I feel the softness and possibilities in this 😍 Thank you 💕
My biggest takeaway here is that feelings are alarm systems that calls our attention to something that needs to be addressed, in my own case I use food to suppress it.
I find it so hard to figure out why I'm feeling a certain way and then people around me can feel I'm prickly and think they are my source of annoyance.
Ask yourself, what am I believing right now? When you tease out the thoughts, the emotions can sometimes start to be clearer. For example, I may notice I’m believing ‘this person isn’t listening to me, they are only interested in themselves’. That points to feeling angry and/or hurt. When you identify the belief, the emotional response makes sense.
It is numbing feelings of being very highly uncomfortable. Short term tranquilizing. And it works! Just for the time being though. Long term it makes everything worse. Well at least not better. So it is a dead end street. A habit. Hard to break! Saw a documentary once about a therapy where you got to sit with a therapist and smell all the binge foods. Just as long as the urge to stuff your face had diminished. The body needs reprogramming. For now my body goes in full brace for impact (sugarrush) when I fill my cart with a weeks worth of junk"food" ✌️
So how do you know if you’re using food to cope or if it is a non hungry craving. I get binge urges after most of my meals or snacks. Even when I allow myself to eat seconds or thirds or dessert after for example. If I don’t continue to eat the urge gets so much stronger and I can’t of won’t want to focus on other things. This leaves me feeling stuffed most of the time :( I am not resistant of feeling my feelings. But I can’t seem to reach them because all I think about are my cravings. :(
I would say the binge urge is a feeling. What is the actual feeling for you? Where is it in your body? Are you willing to welcome it? We tense you against the urge, we fight against it or relent immediately because we anticipate a fight. I’ve done this video on urges which may be useful ua-cam.com/video/Ztlekw6PFv0/v-deo.html
A lot of times, feelings hurt to feel because someone or some event in your life made it that way. A lot of the origins of pain come from bad experiences with other people.
Thank you so much for this video. I know that I binge eat because I feel very lonely, because I do not feel loved and I try to fill this void inside me. I feel better at the moment but not afterwards. Indeed I am afraid of my feelings because it would mean digging in the past and feeling angry because of so many people and situations. Anyways as you said : it's the hard path I cant avoid to feel better. Thanks again ❤
2:23 me wearing noise cancelling earbuds with distractions playing through them majority of my waking and sleeping hours while also struggling with BED: 😬😬😬😬😬 But seriously, thank you for the video. I appreciate all of them ❤️ Do you feel like allowing yourself to feel feelings from past trauma makes it less of a big reaction over time? The intensity of the feelings scare me. My thoughts go to really dark places.
That's difficult to answer as it will depend. Sometimes re-experiencing the emotions can desensitise us to the intensity of them and sometimes it can simply be repeated retraumatisation. Experiencing the emotions in a grounded, safe way can be beneficial. If you search 'pendulation trauma' in UA-cam, you'll find a somatic technique that might be useful.
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist just wanted to say thank you for responding. It encouraged me to bring it up to my therapist how I'd been trying to think through my spiraling to bring myself back. My fear of being attacked, verbally or physically, was very hard to talk myself out of since I know people exist that hurt people and have been hurt by people I thought I was safe with. My therapist suggested grounding by listening/feeling etc. I had tried but immediately gave up before lol I've tried again many times since and have had improvement. Thank you both. Feel so fortunate to have support
Never "should". When I move toward my emotions and fully experience them, only then to they start to pass. I've noticed that resisting them, avoiding them, judging them all make my emotions bigger and they stay around longer. I don't believe anyone 'should' respond to their emotions in a particular way, I just like to share other possibilities that could relieve or lighten another's pain
Not only coping but also self punishment, you're fat already why bother eating healthy just knock yourself out (literally) with a feeding frenzy. To take your mind off things All worries insecurities fears subside when the one remaining thought is ouch I'm so full I need to lie down. Like being stoned from eating way too much sugar/junk
Ooof. “We don’t need coping mechanisms unless we believe we can’t cope”. I’ve never heard anyone say that before and it really resonates with me! Wow!
Same 🙏🏼
Yes, a video on how to feel your feelings would be great! 🤗 I totally agree on all your points!
Agree! :)
I agree too
Your videos are a major gift. I wish to God that you could be my therapist.
"The coping mechanism becomes the coping mechanism for the coping mechanism". That part 😂
Shame plays a huge part for me, very insightful
Very insightful. How true it is that the very thing we use to cope with our feelings (such as binging bc of shame), leads to more of that feeling.
Yes, please make a video about feeling our feelings. Thanks so much.
This is so true. I was so much in denial I left therapy at first because my therapist tried to tell me that I'm restricting and it's causing me to binge. Part of the problem was not even trying to address other issues that needed immediate first aid which was my BPD.
Yes please 😊 “a how to feel your feelings” video would be very helpful
I’m looking for the dopamine hit to deal with my physical pain.
Ahhhhhhh GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!! Seriously though, definitely going to have to chew on this and rewatch probably a few times to fully sink in. Thank you!
I have BPD as well. Recognizing and labeling emotions and feelings has been very challenging for me. I would really like for your to do a video on emotions/ feelings in regards to food. Thank you for your work!
I'm way late to this video, but can't tell you how important it was for me to hear this video. I really need help with my eating, and it was refreshing to hear the "coping mechanism" aspect of eating put in such a succinct way. "The coping mechanism becomes the coping mechanism FOR the coping mechanism" was a gut punch. I need to explore more. Thank you.
AMAZING!!! it seems so simple as you spelt it out but it was really a lot of lightbulb moments going on for me. Thank you thank you for this I would love to learn how to feel my feelings. They make me so anxious. I’m so afraid that they will consume me.
so glad I found your channel 🙏 I‘m in my fiftys now and have always been struggeling with my eating habits. It is just now that I start questioning the why rather then restricting what I eat. I‘m a little nervous about what my feelings will start to tell me once I decide to listen to them. I hope its not to late 😔
Wow.. amazing video. Thanks 🙏🏿
This is an enlightening video. Please, yes, a video on how to feel the feelings. Thank you.
Yes please do a video about feeling your feelings I would greatly appreciate it
This was very helpful, thankyou so much
Excellent content Sarah!! Loving everything you said!!! Coping mechanisms are a great topic. I think They are a way to survive. The problem is when the coping mechanism is toxic. I have 2 bad coping mechanism right now in my life. I will be brave and try to reduce them by baby steps. Please a video about feeling your feelings!!!! 🥰❤️🥰
Brilliant!!
Thanks for being here with us and bringing light on how it’s happening inside. I do relate a lot to resistance to feel. And feeling tired when „I’m not supposed to” speaks a lot to me. Video on how to let ourselves feel would be much appreciated. Warm greetings from krakow to the UK :)
Thank you so much for making these videos. Your messages resonate with me so much and I'm learning ways to help myself. I would love to see a video about how to manage our feelings.
I collated advice from therapists in my network about this very thing: ua-cam.com/video/6PbsCVmwxUU/v-deo.htmlsi=kiXTrTNceRNnHNUM
What about eating to cope with physical Pain?
Being tired is really a big one for me,
Thank you for bringing it up 👍🏼
Unfortunately, I don’t experience it as a feeling but more as a physical state that can completely stop me in my daily activities.
Having busy days and many responsabilities, I really fear tiredness and always try to find a « coping mecanism » 😉
I thought about it afterwards and I could see that the very things I did to avoid tiredness (usually eat sugar) where making me more tired in the long run. When I don’t fight with tiredness I feel less tired than when I accept it.
I have experienced the full blown fatigue that knocked me off my feet and it was a real binge trigger for me.
Thank you Sarah!
I guess it’s true for many things in life… I have to practice acceptance !
😁
@@marable7 Me too. It’s alway a practice and some days I’m more willing than others
I sooooo relate to turning to Sugar when tired to keep going 😜!!! I love your practice of Acceptance vs fighting it or overriding the fatigue with binge behavior !!! I feel the softness and possibilities in this 😍
Thank you 💕
Yes.
My biggest takeaway here is that feelings are alarm systems that calls our attention to something that needs to be addressed, in my own case I use food to suppress it.
I find it so hard to figure out why I'm feeling a certain way and then people around me can feel I'm prickly and think they are my source of annoyance.
Ask yourself, what am I believing right now? When you tease out the thoughts, the emotions can sometimes start to be clearer.
For example, I may notice I’m believing ‘this person isn’t listening to me, they are only interested in themselves’. That points to feeling angry and/or hurt. When you identify the belief, the emotional response makes sense.
I AGREE THAT USING FOOD TO COP INCREASES THE REAL PROBLEMS,
It is numbing feelings of being very highly uncomfortable. Short term tranquilizing.
And it works! Just for the time being though.
Long term it makes everything worse. Well at least not better.
So it is a dead end street.
A habit.
Hard to break!
Saw a documentary once about a therapy where you got to sit with a therapist and smell all the binge foods.
Just as long as the urge to stuff your face had diminished.
The body needs reprogramming.
For now my body goes in full brace for impact (sugarrush) when I fill my cart with a weeks worth of junk"food"
✌️
You never miss with these videos!! I really need this today, thank you!
I have a ton of resistance toward feeling tired
So how do you know if you’re using food to cope or if it is a non hungry craving. I get binge urges after most of my meals or snacks. Even when I allow myself to eat seconds or thirds or dessert after for example.
If I don’t continue to eat the urge gets so much stronger and I can’t of won’t want to focus on other things. This leaves me feeling stuffed most of the time :( I am not resistant of feeling my feelings. But I can’t seem to reach them because all I think about are my cravings. :(
I would say the binge urge is a feeling. What is the actual feeling for you? Where is it in your body? Are you willing to welcome it? We tense you against the urge, we fight against it or relent immediately because we anticipate a fight. I’ve done this video on urges which may be useful ua-cam.com/video/Ztlekw6PFv0/v-deo.html
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist thank you so much!
Yes a video on how to feel feeling please
I did one soon after this: ua-cam.com/video/6PbsCVmwxUU/v-deo.html
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist thanks! 😘
Thank you
Wow I’m a binge eater and I’m 300 lbs I’m so sad 😞 thanks for sharing your video
A lot of times, feelings hurt to feel because someone or some event in your life made it that way. A lot of the origins of pain come from bad experiences with other people.
Thank you so much for this video. I know that I binge eat because I feel very lonely, because I do not feel loved and I try to fill this void inside me. I feel better at the moment but not afterwards. Indeed I am afraid of my feelings because it would mean digging in the past and feeling angry because of so many people and situations.
Anyways as you said : it's the hard path I cant avoid to feel better.
Thanks again ❤
How can it be that I haven’t found you until now
2:23 me wearing noise cancelling earbuds with distractions playing through them majority of my waking and sleeping hours while also struggling with BED: 😬😬😬😬😬
But seriously, thank you for the video. I appreciate all of them ❤️
Do you feel like allowing yourself to feel feelings from past trauma makes it less of a big reaction over time? The intensity of the feelings scare me. My thoughts go to really dark places.
That's difficult to answer as it will depend. Sometimes re-experiencing the emotions can desensitise us to the intensity of them and sometimes it can simply be repeated retraumatisation.
Experiencing the emotions in a grounded, safe way can be beneficial. If you search 'pendulation trauma' in UA-cam, you'll find a somatic technique that might be useful.
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist just wanted to say thank you for responding. It encouraged me to bring it up to my therapist how I'd been trying to think through my spiraling to bring myself back. My fear of being attacked, verbally or physically, was very hard to talk myself out of since I know people exist that hurt people and have been hurt by people I thought I was safe with. My therapist suggested grounding by listening/feeling etc. I had tried but immediately gave up before lol I've tried again many times since and have had improvement. Thank you both. Feel so fortunate to have support
Sarah: don’t judge yourself
Me: ok. *judges self for judging self* 😂
Relatable.
Are you saying we should learn to soak in our emotions and don't run from them
Never "should". When I move toward my emotions and fully experience them, only then to they start to pass. I've noticed that resisting them, avoiding them, judging them all make my emotions bigger and they stay around longer. I don't believe anyone 'should' respond to their emotions in a particular way, I just like to share other possibilities that could relieve or lighten another's pain
I thought any disordered eating was coping
Not only coping but also self punishment, you're fat already why bother eating healthy just knock yourself out (literally) with a feeding frenzy. To take your mind off things
All worries insecurities fears subside when the one remaining thought is ouch I'm so full I need to lie down. Like being stoned from eating way too much sugar/junk
In German you say "Bewältigungsstrategie". Even English speakers can recognise the term "strategy".
😌🤪
You are going on and on
Not getting to the point.
I’m still learning how to improve how I communicate these things. Gimme a break, it’s harder than it looks…