How to Meet Women
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- Опубліковано 1 лис 2016
- The Psychology In Seattle Podcast.
Dr Kirk Honda attempts to dispel common notions regarding how hetero men meet women.
Nov 2, 2016.
Email: Contact@PsychologyInSeattle.com
Become a patron of our podcast by going to / psychologyinseattle
A note about men and women being denied emotions as they're being raised: it's not that one is denied more than the other; it's that they're being denied different emotions. Men/boys are not allowed to feel scared or weak or vulnerable, etc. Women/girls are not allowed to feel confident or in control. Not only are they not taught the same practical skills that boys are, which makes them have to depend on a male for certain practical things, but they are taught to question their decisions and thoughts and feelings. Girls are repeatedly told what they can't do and that they'll only fail and make things inconvenient for others if they insist on trying.
If they're too self-assured or express themselves too directly it sparks anger and resentment. She's a ballbuster, she's bossy, she's brash. When someone coded female expresses an opinion or a fact, voices appear almost out of the woodwork to discount her or "well actually" her. Girls grow up feeling that no one wants to hear their opinions, no one values what they say or think, and that if they insist on taking the lead on something and anything goes wrong it's because she just had to go encroaching on the male territory of decision making and it's right that she's been put in her place for it. In almost every action movie I ever saw as a child, if there was a woman present, she had two options: patiently wait to be rescued or make some attempt to help her own situation, in which case she was always shown to just make things worse and be a further complication for the hero - the direct message being that she should have just sat tight and let him handle it. I grew up with such a deep lack of confidence in my ability to lead or make decisions and I have talked to so many other AFAB people who say the same.
I wish I had found this BEFORE I went through my MGTOW phase. Luckily I had phenomenal female friend who broke every false stereotype that toxic community constructed and gave me the counter narrative.
If there is one video that needs to go viral, it's this one. Well done!
Thanks!
For the man who wrote this: Do not feel alone, my husband was a virgin until he was 24. Going into the relationship we didn't think about sex, because all we wanted was to enjoy one another's company. I was able to open myself sexually to him (I was a virgin until 24 also) versus other men I had dated because he showed me a deep level of respect and love, as I did him. Sex wasn't about pleasure, or filling a physical/emotional desire, instead an expression of love.
I don't know if that helps, but I hope looking at sex from the development of love instead of an innate physical need can change a perspective.
nice and encouraging perspective
Dated other men but was somehow still a virgin. Yeah, right.
Awesome
Thank you for your discretion and the unrequested informations about your husband.
the last 10 minutes where you emphasize attachment over sex seems like such an important message that more young men need to hear
Indeed. Thanks.
Psychology In Seattle if you could edit that part from where he felt empty from the sex worker to when you explained that attachment was the goal and sex wasn't and that we've all been tricked into a 3 minute video, it could go viral. because right now there's all these consent videos where men are targeted for being sex crazed juggernauts, your point could bring something new to the table
I responded differently in the beginning. I can somewhat relate to that young men. CBT all the way. Please if you read that and hear the podcast what he is saying , replay it until it sinks in, or you will leave a long time with falling relationships in life, maybe even hurt someone, deeply and be single for life! I understand everything you feel, I feel the same way too. Don't take my steps. I waited too long too realize the damage I had. I am a beutiful woman, so sex is not an issue, but attachment is.
Sage advice for anyone! Great analysis of your patron 's letter . And it's cool you get listeners from around the a World :)
Thanks, Sunnypie!
If a woman (or man) rejects your advances, let them. Everyone has the right to personal boundaries. More people should befriend one another and let love grow from there instead of acting like bonding is some kind of instantaneous exchange that you are automatically entitled to. Same for sex. Relationships are super complex, so why not take a little time to discover another person...another individual, and find out who that person is independently, before expecting some kind of magical fantasy bond that you can fit any old person into as long as they never defy you and constantly maintain your childlike attachment needs...Yeah let's all get to know other human beings and only if you are capable of knowing another human being and truly accepting one another for that complex companionship, should you even consider a relationship. Probably not something most 20 somethings will come to understand though...
Sounds like how you get friend zoned
Right. You can't force or even convince someone to be attracted to you if they're not feeling it. All you can do is express your feelings for someone and hope that they're reciprocated. If not, you have to find a way to deal with that constructively.
@@joshme3659 Maybe so, but guess how I got knocked up. Enjoy your life decisions.
@@caitm8209 well it’s basically what i do and its not working...
@@joshme3659 Well as a guy, it does help to build your confidence to a level you can make very proactive moves. Even if you are already friendzoned you can turn it around with the right person. Hell try doing the friend zoning and see what happens. But if you make friends with a woman and who she is, is someone not interested in you, you have to accept that and move on. Never get hung up because it won't do any good. If you are still getting hung up, you aren't really understanding the other person you are hung up on and dissatisfied with.
I'm sure he's coming across as hostile to the women he's trying to pick up and they can feel that. He's creating a self-fulfilling prophecy by being so angry and frustrated. He should join a mixed sports team or volunteer someplace and create some friends and go from there. Then he won't feel so lonely and desperate and have a better chance of finding a real relationship.
Yes I agree! Possibly giving that attachment to himself or finding it in other non-romantic ways. It’ll probably give him a better sense of judgement as well to look for girls who can meet him at his level and he won’t go for girls who are “too shallow” as he puts it.
I don't understand why anyone pines for their 20's. That period was torture for me, and the emails he reads here bring it all back. As far as I'm concerned turning 30 is the most wonderful thing that can happen to anyone. I highly recommend anyone try it at least once.
My 20sand teens for that matter were fuckin awesome. 30 was shitty cause I felt like the good times were over cause it was time to grow up. 😔
I plan on trying it about 9 times. I don't think I have a choice!
Yup
Love how patient but honest you are in this video, admitting that you were into that masculinity idea when younger and had to work out of it. And how messed up are some things in that email
On the other hand...This is the most "nice guy" thing ever. "Im nice, i care about you" that is why "you own me sex, love or whatever i want from you" and if you dont give that to me "you are stupid and i need to tricked women" The level of entitlement is just...
And you wonder why women are running away from you? Precisely cause we are not that stupid. Every time i meet this kind of man the "WOW WOW WOW" in this video is playing non stop and so loud in my head.
It’s also the mentality that we should be thankful and grateful and say yes for any attention that we get because they never get any. So narrow-minded and entitled like you said. We need to have standards because all that “attention” is most times dangerous as we’re see as objects by people like him. He needs to see others as humans or even get close to other humans non-romantically.
This is such an impactful episode with wonderful insight. Thanks Dr. Kirk for tackling this. And to the patron who wrote in, thank you for being brave enough to write in and share your story. I hope the patron keeps talking about it with friends or a therapist, and takes Dr. Kirk's words of wisdom to heart.
This Patron: "Not having a girlfriend makes me so mad I may get violent!!"
Also this Patron: "I have to approach women and prove that I'm not a threat."
:-/
@@SOodd14 1, Yes it is generally how he worded it. And 2, I will choose to critique anyone I please who is potentially dangerous, esp. to women. You can be empathetic to whomever you please, but you are trying shame others into your choice
It does sound like women may have good reason to be on guard around him... The confusing thing is she told him she didn't get his message. He has no reason to disbelieve her. The only one who's proven to be dishonest is himself.
And his letter to Dr. H sounds more like him trying to justify his frustrations building up and him potentially becoming violent at some point. We could be miss reading him, I suppose.
Middle Eastern and/or Islamic socieities are often very patriarchal
27:50 if I had to take a guess it's not specifically "dating" which is illegal but for a man to be alone with an unmarried woman is considered illegal in a quite a few countries.
I absolutely agree with Crystal Ward, this is one of the Podcasts which should go viral!! Some of the best of your stuff I've been listening to (and I listened to quite a lot). Thanks a lot, glad to be a Patron and thereby support your marvelous Podcast a bit. Hopefully the young man can take your good advice, he really sounds like a nice guy misled by a lot of weird ideas about genderspecifics very popular in our societies.Too bad he "lost" his virginity to a professional, waiting for the right match would have been worth it from my experience as well. Kind regards from Germany!
Thanks!
I just want to say great job with the channel and podcasts! I found you, like many others, through the GoT Character podcasts, and loved them from the start. They have also given me a lot of thought and I've reflected some of the subjects and theories on my own life, and found help to understand my problems and qualities and understand why I am who I am. Of course I don't agree with every remark or conclusion you have, but I think even you dont expect that. Keep up the good work!
Thanks, Skozerny! That means a lot to me.
Sometimes you say things that are so wise that I start scrambling for a pen and piece of paper. Your lyrics are really good too. So sad and captures the mood and feelings of that time perfectly. Dr Honda - you're really one of the good ones, thank you for your service.
I found this more disturbing to listen to than the Incel podcast. It actually inspired a fear response.
Why? Have you behaved badly towards someone?
@@Tangentbordsblues The guy's perspective/cognitions/way of processing and responding to women's behavior is scary, from what I remember. It's been a while since I've listened to this. The incel podcast was more generalized, rhetorical, or focused on notorious persons. Meanwhile, this is a peek inside a supposedly normal, everyday guy who could be passing you on your way to class/at the grocery store/etc. and his reasoning seems pathological. It's just how this was presented or how the guy wrote the email that was extremely unsettling - there's definitely not enough here to really say that there's something wrong with this guy, just enough to *feel* that he's dangerous - that I personally would not feel safe being anywhere near him. That's what I remember of the impression I got from this episode. Sorry for being so vague or if I didn't understand the question.
@@jschnitz8302 honestly, hes just one more on the pile of scary people in the world
ya he literally said that not getting laid can make u violent and a serial killer that was terrifying
OMG! I'm so glad Dr Honda helped this guy... He had so many self-destructive self-defeating narratives.
His saying women just sit around judging men and shutting men down was really scary... I think women are picking up on a hostility he can't acknowledge
to all the nice guys out there... being nice and respectful is decent human curtesy. IT WILL NOT GET YOU A DATE.
Yuup
I would add that not only his parents could have caused a trauma in him, but it could also be his classmates when he was really small and that is why he fears rejection.
The main factor is physical attractiveness, even if people think or say otherwise about themselves, especially women. There was a research on that. So as long as we're seen as friendly and positive and don't scare off people and there's nothing otherwise wrong with us, we're judged on our looks. If you're a 7, you approach 8s and 9s, because everybody aims a bit higher, so it's normal to be rejected. Usually we're not rejected for who we are, but for our looks, because we aim high. So as long as your self-worth is not tied to your looks, this shouldn't hurt you at all. Plus you can improve your looks a lot, the competition is not really there - most people prefer to be fat, have ugly teeth and complain. Hope this helps.
BUT... keep in mind that everything else must be ok with you! Be friendly and positive. And be willing to admit if you have some obvious flaws, because it's very easy to blame the looks - and sometimes the problem is somewhere else. You can't compensate for one thing with another thing - you will be judged on your weakest point, and in some cases this is not the physical attractiveness. But usually it is.
Sounds like this patron took a lot of lessons from the Pickup Artist school of thought. Very problematic and manipulative mindset, seeing women as conquests and not as humans. I hope this email helped him see a more beneficial perspective, and that he's shared this perspective with others.
as I left this comment, you literally said "pickup artist" haha, amazing.
I'm late to getting into this podcast, but I'm loving your channel! I'm chiming in as a homosexual who gets a substantial amount of unwanted male attention [believe me, this is not a flex!! Lol. I'd much prefer to go unnoticed.] I have seen a range of reactions when they're told no, from both of us laughing it off and even becoming friends, to watching them have an adult temper tantrum. [and lord knows that's not even mentioning the street harassment 😫]. I love the responses you've given here and can only say from my own experiences, healing and emotional regulation would do so so much good.
Thanks for your work and I hope it's helping ppl and making a positive difference. 🌺🌹🌻🙏
Dang this is from 3 years ago? I would love to hear an update. Some of the things he said were definitely concerning, but as a now 31 year old virgin (jeez I still cant believe I'm already 30. I wasnt really even having all that much fun but time still went by fast) I could definitely relate. Not the violence part though which is why id be interested in an update I hope he stayed away from that edge.
Anyways I enjoyed the podcast & I just recently noticed how many different ones you did which I'm sure I'll find helpful so thank you. Perhaps when I get my money situation figured out a little better I'll become a patreon.
Yes! It is very frustrating for women - we don't do approaching because MEN see that as unattractive behavior! Men like the chase - I'm speaking from my own experience.
For the man who wrote this: Maaan, relax, that happened to me very often. Even with girls who I know for long time (well and man too) when we are speaking about weekend trips. It just is that people need a lot of to organize and stuff and a lot can go wrong. And if you don't know her very good, that chance to refuse and say no in last minute is bigger. And that game could be weird thing for her (well it is weird honestly) would make chance for her to refuse even to become bigger. Good luck dude!
Also, It is great that you send this email. You know, you found a problem and that is great path to find a solution. *looking at the date of video* damn! It must be annoying for you Kirk to get notifications from me on your ancient videos but I just have to do it :D
Ha! Not annoying at all. People comment on old videos every day. Thanks for sharing.
I love these podcasts
Seriously This is one that so many people need to hear.
Thank you prof. Kirk. That was beautiful, touching & well stated.
Thank you so much for your videos. They have been very helpful. This one and a few other ones couldn’t have come at a better time.
The most brutal thing about it all is that even if one does actually meet someone they like nothing can happen because they don't know what to do - they've never had the practice.
Somehow, I think he'll be able to figure it out, given the opportunity.
Amazing!! Thank you!! I learned some things about myself here!
You're welcome!
i feel like these guys never had a female friend while growing up. They seem to think women are some kind of a cartoon character, even when their own mother is a woman! I had guy friends when I was growing up I think that really helped me see that they're human beings just like me with their struggles and their human complexities. I think before they get a girlfriend it would really help if they just get a friend who's a girl and actually get to learn that we're all just human beings trying to do our best and drop this fantastical narrative about women that they wrote in their head. I remember having fantastical narrative about men when I was in highschool. I grew out of it eventually cuz I made guy friends and I got to know them as human beings, it seems like these guys never did something like that.
Yes!! I think that by being friends with women more importantly they would know a lot of the struggles we face with dating and how that is a factor in how we handle men. I wish Dr Kirk Honda went more into depth about sexist issues and safety issues women have to consider when saying yes to dates. How do we know they’re not just gonna rape us? Kill us? How do we know to trust them based on how many women get sexually assaulted? As he mentioned before there’s issues for men and women in dating set up by society with traumas that prevent us from dating in a healthy way. Being friends with women would probably avoid his projection too. I feel like his mentality towards women on how they take attention for granted (what) and how they scoff at men are HIS fears. Of course some women do that but to think that that’s how we all are, is projecting his dangerous narrative.
Woman make the best wingmen too ;) I’d be way more likely to date a guy that a woman hyped up than a man lol
Elliot Rodgers had a female friend as a child....
I knew a guy from the middle East that had some real issues about women. He was a nice guy, good looking, with interests, skills and admirable qualities. He wanted a girlfriend, and would go out dating but after every breakup (which was within a matter of weeks to months) he would say the most vile things about women in general. Yes, it was out of a place of hurt, but good heavens it bordered on physically and sexually violent!
1:12:38 thank you for this insight! That was a puzzle piece I feel like I was searching for for ages. I got taught that this "negging" and stuff was REQUIRED to get women interested in me, but at the same time I was never able to do it very well as it didn't felt "real"/authentic to me. So I beat me self up, beliving I'll never get someone interested in me and get to know someone, because I was not ablet to do this stuff.
However, hearing that it's not the negging and stuff thats required, and rather hearing what the actual purpose of it is, gives me some hope that I might not be as a hopeless case as I thought
When this patron wanted to take this woman away for the weekend my first thought is what would he want a child of his to do in that situation? Was he expecting her to have sex with him that weekend? Even if she was attracted to him, his behavior is full of red flags. I wish him well and hope he continues to have lots of folks, both men and women to help him learn how to relate better to women as people.
I agree. Too much focus is being placed on sexual attraction in dating, which is fleeting and not reliable in indicating the viability of a relationship. Good women in particular would think this way as in, "I would want to co-parent with this person." I do not understand why men are not encouraged to similarly think in this way about long-term relationships. I literally have read such a comment maybe once from a man as in, "If you think about would you want this person to have/parent your child before having sex with them, it makes the decision so much easier."
Lol I'm so happy Dr. Honda is saying woah woah woah... these emails are so hostile. Women can make wise decisions. Rude. Sorry that he is feeling lonely, but jeeeeez louise.
Wow… just wow! I see the value in being honest when talking to a therapist but this guy has made me NEVER want to be in the dating game again. I think there’s way more going on than simply not finding himself a girlfriend 😳😬
My no one advice to my male friends to how to talk to women had always been " think women as people and treat them how u would treat ur Bros and me and there you go"
And thank u for making this so i don't have to loose my breath explaining them this
Title should be changed to "Life Talk for Guys" and broadcasted to them when they're young. Life is too short to hold on to toxic beliefs about sex and relationships, so please talk to positive influences on dating, read psychology books with an emphasis on gender equality and women's issues, and stand up to friends if they go all "dude bro! babes and sex!" in a negative way.
Read about women's issues to combat their own male issues? Why? Why does everything have to revolve around women?
Warrior of Slaanesh this is a very late reply but it’s so that men can see the women’s point of view so that they don’t just straight up assume and blame them for doing things ya know? as women should look up on men’s point of views too
You're dumb lmao you forcing positive talk over negative doesnt change any of the outcomes...... a woman will still judge a ugly guy over the hot one in the corner no matter how "positive" he is talking. lmao Grow up with your disney complex and join the real world.
@@animatronicfuturisticshama1153 men's health is important to talk about during all stages of development, definitely agree! As a dude I prioritize looking for communities now that offer all the sides of perspectives on gender struggles. Peace!
@@kool4209 three year old comment dude, chill your bush. If you still think in terms of "good, bad, ugly, etc" you're not hanging around with the right women and you'd probably benefit from some type of counselling to get yourself some perspective and out of your comfort zone. Xoxox 😘
I love this video, thank you
If I knew that this was how this guy actually thinks i wouldn't touch him with a barge pole. Biiiiig red flags.
So the song with the answers?
I feel the same way this guy from the letters does, but i understand that i can't blame other people for my suffering that's why i've gone on seclusion
Hang in there, Rafael. Stay connected. Heal from your relational injuries. You deserve it.
+Psychology In Seattle I'm definitely subscribing to your channel Dr. Honda, i've found it very interesting, most of the topics you talk about here in the podcasts might help me with my own issues.
Thanks, Rafael!
Someone out there wants you and longs for your most loving self. GUARANTEED
The negging described in this video sounds more like showing that you noticed a woman and starting a back and forth conversation. I've been negged when it felt mean because it was just a put down, but making an (actually funny) joke at my expense means you're smart, noticed me, like having fun, and are inviting me into a back and forth. If you angrily imply I suck, that's not the same thing.
I love your UA-cam channel.
I wonder if this guy ruined his one chance at love by being weird about a "yes, I will go on a road trip".
the one that got away lol
If a woman is forward or even honest ie "I'm looking for someone to marry and have children with". Men will dip out real fast. I don't believe in trapping men through trickery and manipulation so I was always honest about what I wanted when dating and I would always get chucked to the side. However I had men begging me for a 'friends with benefits' relationship. You want depressing? Imagine being told you're good enough to fuck but not love.
I click on one too many Elliot Rodger anaylsis vids and apparently the UA-cam algorithm has an opinion about me... 😞
it's a skillset as everything else as well
I can agree in on the 1st part. There are allot of guys who tent to become voilent because of failure with women. I seen it myself.
Love these podcasts, but to the patron who wrote the email, we have to shave our legs and stay skinny. That's the fucking hard part.
Not just that I have so painful menstruation that I always need to be on medication I takes toll on me even at work where I don’t want to come like weak woman. I always ask for home office so I could have warm pillow on me and every aid I need. If I don’t have I could faint it happened to me in school a few times. And there is nothing that could help me just hope that after children my hormones will get better😭😭😭but seriously I think best thing about menopause is that you don’t get it anymore.
And honestly it is the worst part of being woman for me I envy girls that have it normal or don’t feel it😃like every month 5 days of my life are miserable and it is certainty
How about advice from magazines like hustler?
God the email writer sounds like such a "nice guy". Angry at women and sulking because women don't want to give him a chance. As if women somehow owe him sex. Ugh.
Florence, women do not owe men sex. But women need to realize they are front loaded with sexual marketplace value. From the day You hit legal You are desired. That lasts about 17 years until about age 35. Then the compliments, the attentions (both wanted and unwanted) and offers of dates and sex dry up. I have a female friend in her mid 50's and this saddens her greatly and she doesn't see it getting any better.
When you hit that stage and you look reflect on what was and wonder why it isn't like it was then you will get.
Again, women do not owe men. And men don't owe women.
Totally agree with you. The most "nice guy" thing ever
@@madmanmikey they start earlier than that. I remember men looking at me when i was 12.
Excellent advice! Nailed it!!
Kirk, stop apologizing for what you say. Just say it straight. "Remember, I'm going to talk to you as if you're my friend," "I won't pull any punches," "I'm paraphrasing so maybe I don't have this right." You already told us that you'd talk to him as a friend, and it's implied that this is your opinion/you're paraphrasing. You don't have to coddle anybody! We can all handle it :) Plus, it makes everything much wordier when it doesn't need to be.
Sorry
@@PsychologyInSeattle I see what you did there...
To me Kirk was perfect. He is the best psychologist I've ever heard (one of the reasons is because he is ultra polite) and you are pointing out things that have nothing to do with the main message? Jesus! I think you have OCD or something...
You seem to advocate relationships. So what worth while benefits are there to relation ships other than sex? Whenever I feel lonely I just talk to close friends.
Friends are relationships.
@@PsychologyInSeattle So I guess there's not much of a need to pursue women then?
1:36:20
@@erickkisreal9398 Sounds like an individual experience. Different people have a different spectrum of needs.
Women put more attention on emotions she just wants her cake and eat it too!because men put mating and sex first women's expectations of emotional only is more important and sex is just stupid and not equally as important lmao what a bunch of bull when the guy in videos like this can prove to me that you have a wide variety of options with women I wont believe this video lol I approach lots of women and I fail and succeed pretty much that's life if I approach ten women in a week one agrees on a date also work on how to approach them! I bet this dude in the video doesn't have that many options haha let me guess this fool believes in "fate" like alot of women haha love doesn't come like in the movies you hunt and go looking for it but women want something magical and romantic and random lmao like life is like that all the time haha stop watching the notebook or romantic comedies real world dont work that way! take control of your own life learn how to flirt with women and do what you want. Women aren't entitled to force you to strictly see relationships as an emotional part only or forcing you to believe its more important then sex when they are both necessary! if not only one side gets to be satisfied with what they wanted but puts your sexual needs to the side! when a men puts a women's needs and emotions to the side women in forums talk about how the women should address that problem with the men! well women can't fulfill the sexual needs and emotional need of the men that should be addressed too! not just the emotional need that this selfish women want to push on the relationship as more "important " when there both important! Some people will never be in a healthy relationship when they put their emotional needs only and ignores their partners needs or makes your needs second
Frustration, acute frustration, impotence, can lead to empty and social resentful people. The 'patreon' does need transfomation to facilitate interactions with other humans, and females un particular. Inmigrants I have seen have many times a hard cultural shock experience, compounded by personality impasses in social interactions.
I had a phase where my goal wasn’t secure attachment. I wanted to have sex and fun. It was a great phase in my life. I got what I wanted, very short, extremely interesting and fun experiences. It didn’t solve any problems. It was fun.
Sorry, I need to puke, how things are about looks, attractiveness, sex.
That's NOT love.
Women are “allowed” to have feelings, but are also ridiculed for expressing them.
6:58 - "No sexual attention can manifest violence." Perhaps I can provide a different angle on this...
Though social/sexual suppression eventually some (predisposed to violence) will be driven to "take sex".
18:05 - 19:16 - Well said.
22:47 - Great point on expectations.
1:13:34 - www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/suave
Nice episode! I appreciate that guys email, and you analysis of it!
There are some serious similarities to a recent (led on---> unexplained disinterest)
social rejection in my life, although some complete differences in some specific actions & thoughts.
+1
Thanks!
(typos corrected :-p)
My pleasure!
33:30 ❤
If all this person wants is sex then why doesn't he get a prostitute. People need to realize that a relationship is more than just sex and it will cost you more than money. It will cost you time, effort and energy. Sex is not everything!
Talia Price My two cents is that I have the impression that some men see sex as validation or alternatively sex as the proof or secure evidence that they are accepted.In real terms they might do better if they tried to secure emotional and relational bonds with women but given mens particular insecurities and the costs vulnerability and potential for exploitation on either side via sex, men have a tendency to see sex as confirmation.Just my opinion.
That's all well and good, but you can never tell someone that "sex is just sex".
Sexual relations have important social significance and they should be recognised as such.
Further, without them there is a plethora of anxieties and neuroses that manifest in their absence.
Especially in the midst of our current culture... everything is about sex; music, movies, adverts, etc etc...
Yes, this is going to take away the fact that men get bullied into suicide if anyone finds out that they're virgins past 18.. Sex isn't just something you do to satisfy a physical need, then you could just jerk off. It's about social status. Men who don't get laid are considered to be repulsive by both men and women and are in turn bullied because of it. I've witnessed this happen to many men. Also in the era of divorce-rape (aka impoverishing men via stealing all their cash through alimony) there is really no point for men to get married. And given how vapid, mean, and shallow most women born between 85 and 98 are, there really is no point in getting in a relationship to young guys.
I've found that women who don't orgasm much, find sex to be less important in a relationship. Sex is more important to people who can orgasm more easily. I've noticed that my happiest relationships were with women who could orgasm more easily - these women were actually more happy. Women who can't orgasm tend to lead miserable lives along with their husbands. I would never get into a long term relationship with a woman who didn't like sex or couldn't orgasm.
He said he did in the email. He said it was a horrible experience. Can't imagine why. His fixation on sex and resentment towards women might have something to do with it.
Wow
Is no one getting INCEL vibes from this guy?
He might be INCEL but it's probably just his cultural background talking, many middle eastern cultures are super patriarchal and repressive, i had a friend who dated a Saudi guy and he was the most entitled SOB (his family was super rich too so that might have something to do with it). Had a Pak friend growing up and it was similar
Emgeeteaohdoubleu sure rolls off the tongue better than migtow.
Please inform a bit more on mgtow. I don't think that these guys calls you that way... well, i hope, cos i know a bit about positive side of story...
It’s crazy, this guy doesn’t sound the least bit Asian! But his last name is Honda. Maybe he’s adopted? Do Korean parents adopt orphaned American kids? Does that work both ways? Anyone kno?
He‘a American, so he most likely picked up an American accent when speaking English
@@faultyblue9934 I don’t know man, are you sure? 🧐
@@faultyblue9934 but seriously, do u think people in other countries ever adopt orphaned American kids? They always say there’s a bunch of kids here that need homes? Is that just older kids u think and not babies? And foreigners who are wannabe parents only want baby orphans? What do you think? U know anything about that or how that whole system works? And if it doesn’t happen ever, why not? And do u think it should?
Are you dumb? Do you think that someone’s race impacts their accent? How come you have English ancestry and don’t sound the least bit British?
He’s 3rd or 4th generation Japanese(so American). I think his father is full Japanese and his mother is of some European heritage.
This man has raw sex appeal like most people but he is dealing with women that want him to have more money to spend on them. That's been my problem. Our culture teaches them this obvious issue. All movies are horrible and ghetto sounds as well make them this way.
Women don't act like they like sex nearly as much as we do because they don't.
Oh, we don't? My bad. *Slowly puts down vibrator with confused expression on face and tries to think about the Queen.
HAHAHA we LOVE GOOD SEX.
if you had kundalini you would know.
A girl lies and doesn't show up or return calls and it is the guy's fault.
Sex is good but in all 100% honesty heroin is way better
You are in a horrible part of the country for many reasons
This goes out to the M.E. guy who wrote the letter - Please read this response. I'll number the items.
1) You've mentioned feeling violent here. Do not follow through on that feeling. Serious. It will not help you, women or other men. Trust me it does get better.
2) There are two men's UA-cam "groups" I want to turn you on to.
The Red Pill group might be helpful to you. They are a variant of the Pick Up Artists community. This will no doubt appall some of the people here, but hey. This is one group which will NOT tell you to be yourself. They will honestly tell you what you need to become in order to have more frequent sex. I think you should give them a look. The channels you need to see here are 21 Studios, Entrepreneurs in Cars or Rollo Tomassi. To be honest, I would start with Entrepreneurs in Cars. If you want to get laid, these guys can give you hints.
MGTOW - Men Going Their Own Way, a group which works to avoid women in favor of improving themselves. For these guys, I'd recommend watching videos from Happy Humble Hermit. He's about your age and gives good advice.
3) What you want to do involves learning, just as pursuing your education required learning. You are at a little disadvantage in that you are in a new culture (my time in Germany was just as frustrating. But I am banking you are smart (based on your education) so I know you can learn this stuff. You can make this happen.
4) Last words are the same as the first words - no violence because honestly, that does not help. Being an angry asshole won't help either (I spent my 20's very angry. That was stupid of me). Angry men attract angry women and that won't help either of you.
I hope something here was useful. Good Luck!