What to do When Someone Calls You Fat (2021)
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- Опубліковано 20 жов 2024
- Has someone ever called you fat? Or perhaps another equally rude insult? When others insult us they are either looking to get under our skin and irritate us (because they're the kind of people who enjoy creating drama) or they're clueless and completely unaware (the kind of person who has no idea that their words are coming across as insensitive and out of line).
Either way, you'll want to watch this video to get an idea of what YOU can do-to better respond-if this happens to you. Here I'm suggesting 3 different things you could use in response to these kinds of insults.
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I'm so sorry to everyone that looked this up to watch it as a reference.
Yes! 😔My heart goes out to everyone who's ever had to endure insensitive remarks from others about their bodies. This is something that probably most of us have had to experience-at some point or another in our life-and, regardless of the words and whether or not they were directly related to our image or otherwise, still hurt nonetheless. And yet, hopefully, with these uncomfortable experiences comes grace and understanding to respectively (and-even more importantly-quickly!) disregard others' ignorance and inappropriate comments.
I'm here, I gained 40 lb, but not out of shape. My husband calls me fat when he's mad at me.
I was called it repeatedly Years ago I was losing weight too at same time People are crazy! There's mean people out there thats my business my weight now I got my act together lost more Weight people are just So rude On my nice days! I'm kind to Rude people wish them a good day Be a good neighbor all u can do!
Yes, I agree with this! When someone makes a rude comment I'll remind myself that others are usually working through things on their own (that I don't know about) and the comments that they're making are typically more a reflection of what's going on with THEM than anything to do with me. 😂
I get called fat often. By no means am i thin or even in good shape. I could definitely lose weight. But hearing im fat sucks. This video was very helpful for ways i can cope
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through that. Dealing with hurtful comments can be tough (especially if we must hear them regularly!) It's important to focus on self-care and mindset. I'm glad you found the video helpful for coping. Remember, your worth is not determined by others' opinions.💙 Sending you lots of love! ✨
I naturally use laughter when I feel uncomfortable. Not always a good thing but sometimes it works. My sister pointed out my bloated belly yesterday and everyone started laughing and I said I had a lot of gluten leave me alone 😅
Yes, Liz, I couldn't agree more! Laughter is great for those uncomfortable moments we all, inevitably, find ourselves in now and then. I, personally, find that it is also helpful in relaxing not just us, but other people as well! It releases stress, tension and can do wonders for lowering our levels of anger during moments of heightened conflict. And, if your sister's comment made you uncomfortable, you could always pull her aside later and tell her you don't appreciate remarks about your body when you think she'll be most receptive to your feedback. When I've done that before, I've found most people don't even realize that their flippant comment was hurtful and they appreciate being told how I felt. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, Liz!
i was giving a presentation in class today while i was slightly leaning on the podium. my foot hit the base of the podium and a screw fell out. a classmate said "over the weight limit." during the presentation, another classmate asked me to move bc he couldn't see the diagram on the board, and several others laughed.
the worst part is that i'm not fat. the uniforms we wear for school are 3 sizes too big for me. so naturally i look much bulkier in those than in normal clothes. they've been implying that i'm fat for months now, but this was the first time they explicitly said smth to my face. it threw me off so much. i struggled with anorexia in 3rd grade. i've struggled with body image for years. and for someone to call me fat when i felt my body was fine for the first time in years.. it hurt. a lot. this is the one aspect of self-confidence i've always struggled with. i just don't know what to do anymore.
if i ever responded back, they would just laugh more. they make a joke out of anything anyone says these days. there is such a huge boy-girl division in our class too.. it's toxic and cruel. i just wish everyone would treat ppl around them with kindness and respect. is that rly too much to ask?
this is still rly bothering me, so can i pls get some help from someone?
p.s. thanks so much for this video morgan. your voice is so calming. it rly helped 🙂
they are just disrespectful, dumb people. they worship being skin and bone, which is so ugly. they should be reported and fully ignored. even i get dumb comments from ugly people😅 its crazy, isnt it
I'm really sorry to hear that you had to go through such a hurtful experience. It's incredibly frustrating when people make thoughtless comments, especially when it hits a sensitive spot. It's clear that you've been working hard on your self-confidence, and it's disheartening when others try to undermine that progress. 😔 First and foremost, remember that their comments are a reflection of their own insecurities and insensitivity, not a true representation of who you are! 💜 It's easier said than done, but try not to internalize their negativity. As for responding to them, sometimes silence speaks louder than words. You don't have to engage with these people who are determined to be hurtful. Focus on the positive aspects of your life and the progress you've made in building confidence. I'm so PROUD of you! (And always remember, in a few years you'll never have to see these people again! 😏) I'm so happy to hear that you found comfort in my video. 🥰 If you need more calming content, I'm always here for you! ☺️ Remember, you're more than the opinions of others, and you deserve kindness and respect! ✨
It's not a nice thing to say.
Agree!
Just ignore... Ignoring is way to insult
Yes! You make a great point!
What a great subject! Thanks for sharing, Morgan. :)
Thanks, Amelia, I couldn't agree more! In fact, I think far too often people let their emotions get stirred up, they get stressed and upset over rude comments, and then they go off feeling miserable all day (or, perhaps worse, being told to "get over it".) All of which seem very passive and, honestly, not quite helpful. I like to think there are more things we can do IN the moment (when we know WHAT to do) to help people avoid receiving comments like this in the future, and that prevent further pain and suffering after that initial blow.
@@MorganRysdonCenterStudio You are the BEST!!! Thanks for what you do.
@@ameliabwest awww! Thanks! 🥰
some random man on a bike said “what a fat fat” and i couldnt hear how he ended the sentence but he looked me right in the eye and when i looked back he did too.. i feel embarrassed
I totally agree giving appropriate reply to person who makes unconscious statements helps them to realise their words
Yes Tushar! It is my belief that many of our problems could be solved after we've become better aware of how we-ourselves-are getting in our own way. That said, I see raising others awareness of how their remarks impact us (and others) as just another way (or opportunity that) we can bring up the collective society's awareness as a whole!
Thank you for the reminder! 🙏
You're so welcome Gina! These are the kinds of things that if we don't occasionally think about it (and we're caught off guard!), we tend to forget how to respond in the moment when it is needed!
I
If someone calls me fat i will give the person a very nasty look: and i think who do you think you are? The best way to replay to a fool is silence
That's a great approach as well Felicia! Never hurts to walk away from these kinds of comments and move on.
I'm only 5 pounds over and all my "friends" make fun of me and if we eat they don't talk to me
I'm sorry to hear that your "friends" (as you call them) make fun of you for being what I would consider to be only 'slightly' overweight (I mean-honestly!-most people would LOVE to be "only 5 pounds over" weight!) I say it may be time to get some friends who are kinder to you, Josiah-at the very least..new friends who you can eat freely in front of. Good luck! 😊
Ty
@@bluelobsterbeans2327 you're welcome! 😊
thank you so much someone called me fat and I can't get over it thanks so much
Funny comebacks, or saying why would you say that to me doesn't work for me. When people make these comments to me I know they are doing it deliberately to be mean. I usually just say nothing. It's funny how in the US we have more overweight people than other countries and yet we are so intolerant of those who are overweight. Its quite the paradox. But if course you are 100% right we can control how we feel after the mean comment. I'm working on that. It's difficult when these comments are coming from your "friends."
My friend that is a few years younger than me yelled, “you’re short”! I accidentally said “you’re fat”, because they were the same height as me, WHAT DO I DO I JUST BODYSHAMED SOMEONE
*haha* I think it is safe to say, we've all been there! Blurting something out (unconsciously) and then almost immediately regretting whatever words just left our mouth. I know I have at least. My approach-in case this is any help-is when I realize I've said something inappropriate or harmful, is to take it back verbally and apologize for my insensitivity. I've even done this when I've asked someone something and they started talking, but I soon realize I wasn't really ready to listen. I will politely interrupt and say, "I'm sorry, I asked you a question, you started to answer, and apparently I wasn't ready to listen because I was thinking about [your shirt looks good on you today, should we move to the shade because the sun is in my eyes, etc.-or whatever other thought burst into my mind and distracted me from being fully present.] I find that when we're honest with people, they are usually much more understanding and forgiving. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Good luck! 🥰
Hi I am on my dad's phone I looked up what do you do when people called you fat because my sister called me fat
Sorry to hear your sister called you fat Dustin. Siblings can sometimes hurt us more than others…Hopefully you found this video helpful. 🤞🏻
I realized the lady has an eating disorder and my weights actually a bit lower scale had a low battery possibly im 10, 11 pounds underweight im just seeing ut as a blip and i cant probably be overweight. I have symptoms of a very low body fat level and am going to get it rechecked and medically I have a bmi of 16.2 so I'm just going to ignore comments from now on and try focus on gaining muscle.
Oh no, I'm sorry to hear this! People often throw around remarks without considering the impact they can have. Remember, your worth isn't determined by a number on a scale. What matters most is how you feel about yourself and your well-being. If you're comfortable in your own skin and healthy, that's what truly counts. Sending you lots of positive energy! ✨
This is the best video that I’m being happy with it and someone calling me cow and honestly I’m not that fat but that hurt my feelings😕what should I do?..☹️
Ugh! I'm sorry to hear you got your feelings hurt. That never feels good, for any of us. And we've all been there! However, how we feel afterwards we can change. I'd like to share the famous Buddha quote with you, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." How we CHOOSE to feel AFTER someone has said something that upsets us, well, that is up to us my friend. I always suggest we use our energy/focus/time to practice changing this (the "after" feelings) as opposed to worrying about the initial blow that upset us in the first place. Good luck my friend. You deserve to feel good about yourself, always! 💖
I laugh it off too
Glad to hear that!
Thank you for helping me and the reason why I am watching this video is because my brother sed that I am fat and over wait then I cried and he sed when I call him so thin he doesn’t cry which I never called him so skinny 😭
Thank you for your comment Diglayos! I'm sorry to hear your brother called you 'fat'. It sounds like it was upsetting and I am sure that would hurt to hear-especially coming from someone you care so much about. Sometimes people put too much importance on the things that those closest to them (friends, family members, partners, etc.) say. However, I find it helpful to remember that my own thoughts and feelings are always MORE important than those thoughts and feelings of others around me. (I hope this makes sense despite the language barrier. 😊) Good luck and thanks again for sharing!
Thank you for your video.
Today my new friends I know him for 2 weeks. And today he say oh I don't eat butterfly because other wist I can't a big belly like you. He sad this after I only ask him about why he was ussing coco oli spray In state of real butter.
And later he sad it again when I was looking for my jeans belly belt. ( not shore that is a engelish word?)
And he sad o yes you need it because of my belly pull down my jeans??.
I did ask him why he is say this think?
Knowing I start my weight loss journey And i already Lossen 10kg I was 93.80 kg And know 83.50kg.
It was very painfull I never jad a boy friend say mean stuff like that. Not even when I was 93 kg😔😔.
He sad he saying to motivation so I work out more or something like that.
And I sad I do my best why are you with if you like skinny girl.
He sad why are you mad I try to help you.
And I say it is very painfull And I don't like people bodyshame or ussing a body part joke for lauchter. He sad I am to sensatief??
Now I am rink I don't what to be with this persoon... what do you think want to do next? Because he expansie en he is nice. But I think if you say stuff like a joke? I always in every joke is a hidden true?
Or do you think I over react?
Pleace I need help.
Thank you for sharing this video.
Hi Regan, I'm sorry to hear that someone in your life was speaking to you in a way that upset you. It sounds like you did your best to communicate how you felt and your boyfriend was not being receptive to hearing what you had to say. It should be said, I am definitely NOT a therapist! However, that said, if you were my best girlfriend the advice I would give you would be: I don't care how nice, or promising, someone seems to be, if they say things like, "you're too sensitive" when you communicate how you feel...it may be time to re-examine your relationship with this person. Everyone can over-react, sure, however those closest to us hopefully have more respectful ways of connecting with us to let us know where and when we've gone too far off in one direction or another (without making us feel bad). I don't believe we need to be shamed into thinking that our feelings are not valid or we're being too overly sensitive as a result of the harmful words that are said to us. 💕 I wish you lots of luck on your weight loss journey. Perhaps the advice I give myself on such similar journey's will also be helpful to you: I always strive to be 1% better than the day before-I find this keeps things attainable and far less overwhelming, perhaps (I hope!) you find this helpful as well! Wishing you all the best (and good luck with your boyfriend). You deserve to feel special, beautiful, and heard...always!
@@MorganRysdonCenterStudio thank you for answering and advice I will think about what you are saying an re-examine the relationship. He did apologies for the way he was speaking . After I used your tips/ advice and ask him again with out angre. But I still think about it. I think just to be friends for now. Because I don't like that a men talk to my like that. I feel little bit different after that happend.
Thank you and I hope you pose more video's topics like this.
💞🤲🏻🤗
I will always answer with do you know that years ago people like you did felt a need to say to me that i'm getting fat . Do you know that they where the reason that i was fighting after those comments for years against anorexic ? You dont know people so you need to be careful when you say you getting fat right ? You dont know my history.. i'm lucky that my mind is strong now but you trigger me in a way now . Thanks for that ! And then i think about ach you are not my friend so i keep it with thats so friendly from you to say this . And then i walk away 🤣🤣
You're right Jurgen! People don't always think before they say things and (even if it isn't meant to be malicious!) their words can hurt others and, sometimes, even cause a lot of damage. We don't know where others are coming from (their stories, their history, etc.) and when comments about appearances are made we have no idea if we are feeding into existing physical insecurities, struggles with weight gain/loss, eating disorders, etc. When we are more conscious of what we say, we can better care for (ourselves AND) others. *And, I'd agree, anyone who would make flippant comments like, "You're getting fat, right?" is not a friend I would want to keep close to me.
What to do is accept the comment of someone telling you something for your health and go to the gym and don't be a snowflake
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ekkeu. While I disagree I appreciate you expressing your opinion on the topic here. Have a great day! 🙂
@@MorganRysdonCenterStudio Would you like to discuss about it? Is there a person who is fat and likes being fat and thinks "I want to stay like this I don't want to change" I guess probably but that is 1%, so I don't agree with your mindset of not promoting a change for the better in someone, physical and mental health boost. I want to hear your thought
Thanks for inviting me to share more of my thoughts on this Ekkeu! In my experience, someone's weight is not always so clearly related to how much they do or do not exercise. I've known people who've gained weight as a result of 1) an injury or disability that prevents them from being able to be more mobile and/or are unable to exercise more vigorously because of their condition or 2) side effects from medication(s) that is taken for various things including, for example, chronic diseases and/or mental health diseases, etc. and, finally, 3) genetics. We know now, from research, that while some folks' genes don't really affect them (their genes account for only 25% of the predisposition to being overweight), others' genetic influence is as high as 70% to 80%. Personally speaking, aside from my two pregnancies, I've been approximately the same weight since college. I've been a vegetarian since I was 14, I eat consciously, and exercise regularly 5-6 times a week, but still, my cholesterol is high. I don't think any amount of exercise, or eating healthy will affect that too much moving forward. I've begun to accept it for what it is: a result of my genes. And, personally speaking, I wouldn't appreciate being put down for something that I have had to accept as being beyond my power of control. I also think it's worth noting that folks who comment on others' weight aren't always talking only to those who'd be considered 'severly overweight'. I've had people share with me (who most folks would consider as being in 'good shape'), that someone (usually family members) have commented on their weight in what they feel is an inappropriate and harmful way-some of whom struggle with eating disorders and/or body dismorphia. I guess all this being said, I think of 'health' as being a combination and balance of one's mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Thanks again for opening up the space for additional dialogue. I appreciate the internet when one can have a disagreement in a respectful manner, with non-violent communication to share opposing views. Take care! 🙂
@@MorganRysdonCenterStudio That is a great explanation, thanks for taking all of this time to explain to me better, i guess you some genetics problems and diseases like thyroid do in deed play a high role in this type of things. But I still believe that people who have these should still exercise and try to eat healthy, and in the long run they would still get a boost in confidence, so for example if someone is still "fat" but can lift for example bigger weights than someone who is just fat and doesn't do anything about it, their confidence would be better and you never know if they do this for 1-2 years they wouldn't appear to be so fat. I don't see the ideology of keep improving yourself that much on the internet I see the "omg you are perfect like this no need to change your body your choice" things which promote unhealthy ways of living. I think you can probably agree with this