Dumbest Military Duo - International Crime Spree

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  • Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
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    This story starts out with two best friends wandering the planet together, and then not so accidentally start getting involved in WoRcR!ME$! Uh ohh, better run away to Kenya, too bad they get stopped in Sudan and told to go back home, where they then rob bands and set up an old couple to be robbed. It only gets worse from there.
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    The views expressed on this page or any derivative therefrom are those of myself and do not reflect the official policy or position of the Department of Defense or U.S. Government. ~ A.C.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @AngryCops
    @AngryCops  8 місяців тому +69

    Go to piavpn.com/AngryCops to get 83% off Private Internet Access with 4 months free!

    • @28ebdh3udnav
      @28ebdh3udnav 7 місяців тому +1

      Correction. Russia took over Crimea in 2014 not 2017

    • @cbk-te7ru
      @cbk-te7ru 7 місяців тому

      HOW MUCH TO HAVE A BATTLE BUDDY😂

    • @masterplanet420
      @masterplanet420 7 місяців тому

      Turning into the chubby coptrition

    • @torengallagher8368
      @torengallagher8368 7 місяців тому

      how did they get the grenade hu? how did they get the grenade?

    • @brianmead7556
      @brianmead7556 7 місяців тому

      "Like Canada trying to take over Maine and Vermont"
      Yeah, if they were full of people who considered themselves Canadians, spoke the separate Canadian language, had lived in what WAS Canada still in living memory, oh and, cannot stress this enough: WERE BEING MURDERED WHOLESALE BY THE US GOVERNMENT FOR THE PRIOR THREE THINGS!

  • @crayfish9966
    @crayfish9966 7 місяців тому +1239

    Ah yes, Army of Two... Braincells

  • @oceanbytez847
    @oceanbytez847 3 місяці тому +19

    I got rejected from the E-4 mafia for traitorous activities. Those activities include attending a promotion board, collecting promotion points, and worst of all getting a rank that is not E-4.

  • @meat-hook
    @meat-hook 7 місяців тому +1514

    "Holy shit! That's Jason Stillborn!"

  • @bmacaulay18
    @bmacaulay18 7 місяців тому +148

    These guys are so allergic to making good decisions that the world's supply of epi-pens couldn't save them.

    • @That0Homeless0Guy
      @That0Homeless0Guy 7 місяців тому

      That just doesn't make sense.

    • @dannymitchell6131
      @dannymitchell6131 7 місяців тому +8

      @@That0Homeless0Guy Epinephrine helps get you through anaphylactic shock...which you get through allergic reactions usually.
      It was a bad joke, but had logical consistency.

    • @katarishigusimokirochepona6611
      @katarishigusimokirochepona6611 2 місяці тому

      😂😂😂

  • @precise1329
    @precise1329 7 місяців тому +565

    Most senior NCO's believe that anything can be accomplished, given enough privates. That works under the assumption that there's leadership around to kindly and gently guide them. This is what happens when privates are left unsupervised. They still achieve unbelievable things. It's just stupid things. Like, the dumbest things.

    • @tetedur377
      @tetedur377 7 місяців тому +41

      And often, the gayest things. H/t Terminal Lance

    • @Odd_Interaction
      @Odd_Interaction 7 місяців тому

      Then you opt for First Sergeant’s punishment and they get to turn over all the ricks that were used as landscaping around the Company barracks so they don’t get a sunburn.
      Worse yet is when you come bebopping past the First Sergeant’s office and he sends you out to supervise, because he knows you did something but can’t get the evidence to pin you down.

    • @John-mf6ky
      @John-mf6ky 7 місяців тому +5

      😂😂

    • @alaricvis09
      @alaricvis09 7 місяців тому +64

      When I got my stripes, a squad leader gave me some wise words. "Whether he knows it or not, every time Joe leaves his barracks room, he's on a mission to destroy your career."

    • @changlee1196
      @changlee1196 7 місяців тому +4

      More of a, "well if you roll the dice enough"

  • @nocapbussin
    @nocapbussin 7 місяців тому +158

    In fairness to the 10 yr E-2, I was held at E-4 for 5 years and not allowed to advance because I was on an MEB and they said "Well, you're getting out so it doesnt make sense to advance you..."... As they proceeded to drag my medical board process for over 2 years past my contract and for those 2 years had me re-up every 90 days... No NJPs, no reasons not to be advanced to E-5... Just a completely incompetent chain of command with a W-2 admin who made up her own policies with more frequency than a radio.
    I now see the misfits of the US Military as the real heroes

    • @jaymay7957
      @jaymay7957 7 місяців тому +11

      Clearly someone didn’t like you

    • @alansalgado2740
      @alansalgado2740 7 місяців тому +1

      Tell me you got 100% at least!

    • @mr.jenkinsawesomecoolteach7280
      @mr.jenkinsawesomecoolteach7280 7 місяців тому +8

      Well…..I was in Chosen troop with Lang. dude lost his rank for refusing to salute the Lt.

    • @ryankuypers1819
      @ryankuypers1819 7 місяців тому

      @@mr.jenkinsawesomecoolteach7280 It's so shocking that the military has rules.

    • @Tejaneaux-ic8dp
      @Tejaneaux-ic8dp 7 місяців тому +9

      I feel like i could relate. I was E3 as a 92F (petroleum specialist) deployed to afghanistan, south korea and back stateside in fort bliss. 7 years. Never moved up. Never even got NJPed for demotion. I just felt like i wasnt getting anywhere as far as moving up rank. So i just didnt reup. The certs i got were pretty helpful though. Helped me get a job in the oil and gas industry.

  • @Paratrooper891
    @Paratrooper891 7 місяців тому +441

    I was NOT expecting to hear such a spot on Kermit the Frog impression 5 minutes into the video.

    • @garettbottin6607
      @garettbottin6607 7 місяців тому +5

      Me neither, I had to watch it like 3 times and even still I'm shocked!!

    • @luckyleo25
      @luckyleo25 7 місяців тому +6

      Wow! I did NOT catch that! Right at 5:01!

    • @dingofast8392
      @dingofast8392 7 місяців тому +4

      Kremit

    • @Heather_Nelson
      @Heather_Nelson 7 місяців тому +3

      Oh my gosh I thought the same thing!

    • @JadedJet
      @JadedJet 7 місяців тому +8

      I thought it was Jordan Peterson

  • @scantrontheimmortal
    @scantrontheimmortal 7 місяців тому +54

    I remember this,Lang tried to go back to Ukraine using his real passport after he couldn't get a fake one in 2019,as soon as he tried to cross the Ukrainian border from Moldova he was detained by Ukrainian Border Guards due to his name popping up as being wanted by the US. Was arrested,jailed for a bit,placed under house arrest with an ankle monitor when he tried to fight extradition but couldn't then was sent back to US Law Enforcement .

    • @wishuhadmyname
      @wishuhadmyname 6 місяців тому +5

      How messed up do you have to be when a country at war with its 10x larger neighbor *doesn't* want to send you to the meat grinder?

  • @OmegaGamingNetwork
    @OmegaGamingNetwork 7 місяців тому +310

    These two are a prime example of "How the fuck did they manage to survive to adulthood"?

    • @HiragamaIkunai
      @HiragamaIkunai 7 місяців тому +14

      by basically spending most of it in jail

    • @masungayongiro
      @masungayongiro 7 місяців тому +4

      Guessing its by the grace of a beloved DI...

    • @SnapD24
      @SnapD24 7 місяців тому +4

      With murder and theft. Were you not paying attention?

    • @grimalldi4526
      @grimalldi4526 7 місяців тому +1

      Mandatory Seatbelts and bike helmets.

    • @Walleyeman1995
      @Walleyeman1995 7 місяців тому

      How alex made it to adulthood is because his dad was a small town police chiefs son

  • @terryoneil7128
    @terryoneil7128 7 місяців тому +17

    ' ...and Kenya goes, get the f out...'
    I burst out laughing, brilliant delivery 😂😂😂

  • @scotthall7307
    @scotthall7307 7 місяців тому +258

    When I was just a 15 year old white boy I wrote "Columbian drug lord" on my career path paper and I think I probably had a better shot at that than they did at being Jason Bourne.

    • @rocksteady9826
      @rocksteady9826 7 місяців тому +6

      So, how did that career play out?

    • @jaimejones3177
      @jaimejones3177 7 місяців тому +16

      Well... hes still not Columbian. Sooo...Im guessing not successful?

    • @changlee1196
      @changlee1196 7 місяців тому +18

      @@rocksteady9826 What if it was a typo and he meant Columbian drag lord, seems achievable.

    • @QwertyoUip
      @QwertyoUip 7 місяців тому +12

      @@changlee1196 OH NO NO NO NO NO

    • @rocksteady9826
      @rocksteady9826 7 місяців тому +7

      @@changlee1196 Queens seem to be in style, so maybe. Don't know if Colombia goes for that type of shit though

  • @KaiHouston-m6j
    @KaiHouston-m6j 7 місяців тому +20

    E-4 mafia be "The secret to bypassing checkpoints...is a handy dandy Clipboard!" Lol

    • @dennismccorkendaleii4685
      @dennismccorkendaleii4685 5 місяців тому +2

      A clip board and official looking Inner Office memo envelopes. The yellow ones with the string and holes in it.

  • @pocketsand4404
    @pocketsand4404 7 місяців тому +86

    If stupid could fly, those two would fly faster than an SR-71 Blackbird.

  • @matthaft2048
    @matthaft2048 7 місяців тому +30

    I was in A troop 1-13CAV at the same time Lang was in C troop. I never remember meeting him until after we got back from Afghanistan and even then there were rumors going around about things he did down range that were “questionable” but got swept under the rug.

    • @UnimpressedGoose
      @UnimpressedGoose 7 місяців тому +2

      What type of questionable things

    • @Chris-zu1dg
      @Chris-zu1dg 7 місяців тому

      1-13 cav was the biggest piece of shit unit in the entire military there was no such thing as leadership there.

  • @THATONEFRIEND42
    @THATONEFRIEND42 7 місяців тому +548

    "so stupid its a war crime"
    To anyone that doesn't understand the United States military it sounds like a normal work day

    • @mineralwater6736
      @mineralwater6736 7 місяців тому

      for the Russians is in their blood to commit war crimes.

    • @penebrook8330
      @penebrook8330 7 місяців тому

      @ContentEnjoyer-gm3ky eh, yours are the most notorious.

    • @bobbilly-ok9fm
      @bobbilly-ok9fm 7 місяців тому

      @ContentEnjoyer-gm3ky even funnier when you realize canada is the reason for most of the things that are listed as war crimes LOL

    • @Louzahsol
      @Louzahsol 7 місяців тому +8

      Homie, every modern battleship is technically a war crime

    • @jiminysnicket86
      @jiminysnicket86 7 місяців тому +5

      ​@@Louzahsolthere are no modern battleships

  • @JasonScroggins-c4i
    @JasonScroggins-c4i 7 місяців тому +11

    "It's gonna be chaos... so I'll allow it"
    ...is the most drill Sergeant thing I've ever heard😂

  • @odium3691
    @odium3691 7 місяців тому +226

    Being successfully charged with war crimes and comming war crimes are 2 very different things lol

    • @corryburton9834
      @corryburton9834 7 місяців тому

      War crimes are just written down because Canada lost their shit in ww1..seriously, we have caanda to thank for geneva conventions......we got a crazy af hat

    • @johnshaw4137
      @johnshaw4137 7 місяців тому +13

      Eddie Gallagher enters chat 👀

    • @justjoe5373
      @justjoe5373 7 місяців тому +27

      It's only a war crime if you lose the war

    • @jordishima
      @jordishima 7 місяців тому

      @@justjoe5373 you only face the consequences if you lose the war. It’s still a war crime, a fucking disgrace, and not something we should be lauding people for committing. It’s all shits and giggles joking about the “Geneva checklist”, but it’s kinda off-color to joke about actual war crimes

    • @rocksteady9826
      @rocksteady9826 7 місяців тому +3

      You mean convicted?

  • @SurRonAlot
    @SurRonAlot 7 місяців тому +6

    I became an E4 a little after being in 2yrs.. stayed an E4 for the next three years.. stop loss days.. no E5 slots.. high ass points for promotion.. etc etc.. BUT loved every minute of it.. everyone came to me to get shit done.. including our O4 commander.. E4 Mafia for Life!!!

  • @buckshot927tx
    @buckshot927tx 7 місяців тому +353

    Couldn’t make sgt in 6 years….even as an infantry mos….ah yeah he fucked up

    • @stewiepid4385
      @stewiepid4385 7 місяців тому +11

      And that is a crime in itself!

    • @oldsoldier181
      @oldsoldier181 7 місяців тому +84

      Couldnt even make an E-4...I mean, the ONLY prerequisite is to be there, lol.

    • @JamesGriffinSpiteHouse
      @JamesGriffinSpiteHouse 7 місяців тому +46

      Yep, stay out of trouble and promotion to Specialist is automatic

    • @owenhammond1880
      @owenhammond1880 7 місяців тому +3

      Honestly I'm with you there. I can see him not making it if it was one of those higher point 798 MOS's but the infantry is different.

    • @alexisrivera200xable
      @alexisrivera200xable 7 місяців тому +24

      ​@JamesGriffinSpiteHouse Holy hell 2 tours and he was still a PFC? I never deployed due to a bad training accident and got medboarded out as an E-3. I almost made E-4 during the process!

  • @luckydave5928
    @luckydave5928 7 місяців тому +15

    My MEDO, LT Frank, did it right. Went AWOL and joined the French foreign legion. Turned himself in after his legion tour was over. Great Rolling Stones article out there too.

    • @gradycdenton
      @gradycdenton 7 місяців тому +11

      The thing that blows me away with that story is his line about needing to be "cold, wet, and miserable." I'm like bro, you left the 10th MTN... that's all they do!

    • @tylerjaime5094
      @tylerjaime5094 2 місяці тому

      If I went awol and joined the legion I would never be turning myself in. What a kick in the balls.

  • @tretaylor1571
    @tretaylor1571 7 місяців тому +194

    Man waking up to an Angry Cops vid, this is already a great day

    • @AngryCops
      @AngryCops  7 місяців тому +101

      That’s where the money’s at.

    • @JimPickett-m4r
      @JimPickett-m4r 7 місяців тому +3

      hell yeah

    • @Cutecompton
      @Cutecompton 7 місяців тому +9

      You didn't make a floating link to the Venezuela video though. That's where the money's at.

    • @AngryCops
      @AngryCops  7 місяців тому +21

      @@Cutecompton its there now, and at the end

    • @therealsapdad1942
      @therealsapdad1942 7 місяців тому +5

      ​@@AngryCopsmore profitable than selling vapes at AIT

  • @The_Pan1
    @The_Pan1 7 місяців тому +22

    This is what would happen if Beavis and Butthead had enlisted, and by some mishap of a divine intervention, survived long enough to be discharged.

    • @Rednecknerd_rob9634
      @Rednecknerd_rob9634 5 місяців тому

      How dare you insult Beavis and Butthead to these two lol.

  • @uncleryan3393
    @uncleryan3393 7 місяців тому +1325

    I've always wanted to ask, and this might be my best chance at getting an answer... what happened to your pinky finger, captain?

    • @chriswhite8852
      @chriswhite8852 7 місяців тому +437

      He knife handed too hard

    • @nothankyouYouTube420
      @nothankyouYouTube420 7 місяців тому +152

      Freedom happened
      Unfortunately freedom isn't free
      (Also he broke it duh)

    • @Crazy-Chicken-Media
      @Crazy-Chicken-Media 7 місяців тому +419

      he missed the stink....

    • @justinlizamor1541
      @justinlizamor1541 7 місяців тому +535

      It's forever at half, leaning rest for our sins.

    • @xPumaFangx
      @xPumaFangx 7 місяців тому +176

      Show some respect! It is clearly an injury from the war. The Great War, The War of Attrition. The meme War.

  • @HCPnexion
    @HCPnexion 7 місяців тому +5

    A secret tunnel reference in the middle of an ad. You’re an absolute, legend. Sir, you are easily one of the funniest men in the entire country.

  • @recon1986
    @recon1986 7 місяців тому +99

    Lang could of saved himself a whole shit load of headaches if he had just enlisted in the french foreign legion.... 😅😅😅

    • @user-d5t1n
      @user-d5t1n 7 місяців тому

      Notoriously difficult to get into if your a POS

    • @aegrisomnia
      @aegrisomnia 7 місяців тому

      Probably was too much of a bitch for that.

    • @TheMaleRei
      @TheMaleRei 7 місяців тому +17

      Rather difficult to join the Legion...
      But it might've been worth a try...

    • @AikonikBoy
      @AikonikBoy 7 місяців тому +9

      doubt buddy is willin to study Francois

    • @ericstearns170
      @ericstearns170 7 місяців тому +9

      Pretty sure even with their sketchy history (Nazis, criminals, etc) they might have said - Non, merci! (No thank you)

  • @cringlemcshingle
    @cringlemcshingle 7 місяців тому +11

    The funniest part is that some of the legion guys they came in contact with, believe their fake story of innocence. It’s wild

  • @intosound913
    @intosound913 7 місяців тому +98

    remember, if you need to get your killing fix on, work for the corporate sector, like Boeing or c.i.a., America won't charge you for war crimes if the person paying you is a government entity 😅😂

    • @dixiecyrus8136
      @dixiecyrus8136 7 місяців тому +4

      True Dat 😉😎

    • @drd675
      @drd675 7 місяців тому +21

      I feel like these guys probably did try to join a PMC and was turned down. They just feel like reject material

    • @jrip4789
      @jrip4789 7 місяців тому +12

      Is Blackwat…ah, academ…no, Constellis still hiring?

    • @alaricvis09
      @alaricvis09 7 місяців тому +1

      @@jrip4789mostly lower end contracts. They do have some State dept contracts that are kinda cool, but you need to already have been one of the cool guys while you were in.
      There are some other entities that will pay you well for questionable shit, though. I turned down a contract for "protecting mineral shipments in West Africa." If you have no problem with killing child soldiers to protect the product of child slave labor, there are jobs out there for you. There's a spot in hell for you, too, which is why I'm not making the big bucks doing that. By the way, if it's not clear, this isn't some shit you can just look up on Indeed or Shooter Jobs.

    • @stillcantbesilencedevennow
      @stillcantbesilencedevennow 7 місяців тому

      Lol. Facts.

  • @lidlett9883
    @lidlett9883 7 місяців тому +11

    I would have thought they'd had at least learned how to sham being a private for six years.

  • @rayengstrom1905
    @rayengstrom1905 7 місяців тому +134

    Goddamnit, I hope some of these guys former team members are in here and can share stories of these idiots. Having 2 deployments in 6 years and STILL being a PFC? You played some fuck-fuck games, didn't ya!?

    • @jamessanders8895
      @jamessanders8895 7 місяців тому +15

      I don't have to feel bad about thinking this, because you said it first! Thanks a bunch.

    • @jiminysnicket86
      @jiminysnicket86 7 місяців тому +1

      Probably again

    • @brianmead7556
      @brianmead7556 7 місяців тому +5

      The thought that went through my head was "couldn't make, or more accurately, couldn't keep?"

    • @DavidKlymenko
      @DavidKlymenko 7 місяців тому +1

      He got busted down for trying to kill his wife. It's easy to look up.

  • @ArminiusSage
    @ArminiusSage 7 місяців тому +10

    Fun fact for you AC, using Vermont as an example is hilarious because Vermont’s founder *Ethan Allen* invaded Canada during the revolutionary war.
    He was also fighting the British years before the war started. Namely the British in New York and New Hampshire.
    He failed his invasion because Benedict Arnold told Allen that he couldn’t use his own men, only Canadians. This was largely because Benedict Arnold and Ethan Allen hated each other and Allen treated him like a well used prison pocket.

    • @KayPrescesky
      @KayPrescesky 7 місяців тому +1

      no shit? I missed *that lesson* in U.S history class!

    • @ArminiusSage
      @ArminiusSage 7 місяців тому

      @@KayPrescesky Yea bud. He’s my sixth great grandfather so I had a large interest in him growin up. He wrote a book called “reason: the only oracle of man”. You can read it for free and it is an outstanding look into one of our forefathers who was very much against the church as well as slavery.
      But to the rest? Look him up, I left out a lot. His whole life story is absolutely interesting. And as you said, you didn’t get that lesson in history class. Largely forgot by most *because* of his views on the church .

  • @Khan.WrathOf
    @Khan.WrathOf 7 місяців тому +17

    Raytheon over here like "Write that down! Write that down!"

  • @Ostsol
    @Ostsol 7 місяців тому +49

    So... probably no CIA involvement.

    • @SpecJack15
      @SpecJack15 7 місяців тому

      Bruh, CIA holds their folks to an immensely high standard. They'll literally send law enforcement after you.

    • @inde6466
      @inde6466 7 місяців тому

      Correctly. Probably. No cia: involvement

    • @ObservationofLimits
      @ObservationofLimits 7 місяців тому

      They got involved in the systematic genocide of ethnic Russians in east Ukraine and you say "no CIA?"
      The whole genocide and color "revolution" was because of the CIA, Killary and crazy lady still in the intelligence community whose name escaprs me at the time

    • @ObservationofLimits
      @ObservationofLimits 7 місяців тому

      Victoria Nuland

    • @ObservationofLimits
      @ObservationofLimits 7 місяців тому

      Mexico probably took one look at his passport and said, not today CIA

  • @Isaac_132
    @Isaac_132 7 місяців тому +65

    Still waiting for you to cover the story about *Marcelo Hernandez* who finished Marine basic training and went home to Houston Texas before prodecing to whatever his next school was and decided to go on a crime spree. He was arrested with *three handguns, $11,000 in cash, and $500,000 worth of jewelry including diamonds and other precious stones* that he had stolen. That's not the E-4 mafia, that's like the E-1 mafia right there. And we thought vapes was where the money at. 🤣

    • @frickeface7382
      @frickeface7382 7 місяців тому +1

      wtf is a "prodecing"? also this comment looks like it was shat out from an ai that you voiced to text mispronounced "proceed to"

    • @Tejaneaux-ic8dp
      @Tejaneaux-ic8dp 7 місяців тому +1

      Bro... thats nothing. AC should cover the dudes who went to basic. Deployed. Came back. And took they training to train guys for drug cartels.
      Shits bananas.

  • @MyEyesSewnShut
    @MyEyesSewnShut 7 місяців тому +2

    I want you to know I paused and watched the other video before coming back to your edit of the video pausing and resuming and you welcoming us back and I felt like you put a lot of work into that and you should know it was appreciated lol love the content man keep it up!

  • @rossh2386
    @rossh2386 7 місяців тому +30

    Angry cops with a secret tunnel reference wasn’t on my bingo card

  • @R3DE3MER
    @R3DE3MER 7 місяців тому +5

    This reads like a War Criminal "Catch me if you can" scenario, only with more Bad Company shenanigans.

    • @jstruetune
      @jstruetune 7 місяців тому

      "There's gold in them there hills!" - Haggard

  • @PVTHighspeed
    @PVTHighspeed 7 місяців тому +42

    It’s a shame their moms didn’t steal some Plan B from the local Walmart. Happy Father’s Day!!

  • @thelonglife5772
    @thelonglife5772 3 місяці тому +1

    We lost Soldier of Fortune magazine from the late 70’s … now we have Angry cops bringing us the fun .

  • @Emotionalsavage281
    @Emotionalsavage281 7 місяців тому +18

    I literally automatically got specialist in 2, definitely got popped down probably twice

    • @tetedur377
      @tetedur377 7 місяців тому +4

      Same, though it was...shit, it was twice. Dammit!

    • @Emotionalsavage281
      @Emotionalsavage281 7 місяців тому +1

      @@tetedur377 yeah, honestly probably more bc 6 years as an infantry and you haven't been e4 hahaha that's crazy, I have seen people who had multiple councilings, article 15s and they still made it to e4 by the time they got out. This was also the second surge of Afghanistan in 2011ish we were being handed out paper boards for e5 bc everyone was getting fd up

  • @Warrior1Spartan
    @Warrior1Spartan 7 місяців тому +4

    "Lang's got 'em! Of course, he does."
    LMAO

  • @aaronlopez492
    @aaronlopez492 7 місяців тому +107

    Dumb and Dumber in real life. And of course they go to Chavezland and try, what!?
    You can't make this stuff up!

    • @FM-ig3th
      @FM-ig3th 7 місяців тому +10

      11Bs meet "Harry and Lloyd".

  • @OldManSurvival
    @OldManSurvival 7 місяців тому +4

    “…a discount Jason Bourne” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

  • @Intabih
    @Intabih 7 місяців тому +17

    PRIVATE ACCESS REPORTING AS ORDERED SIR! Did... did you just sing the secret tunnel song?

  • @RoachSanderson1987
    @RoachSanderson1987 7 місяців тому +4

    I legit went and watched the other whole video and then came back to his welcome back. That was awesome.

  • @RedactedBrainwaves
    @RedactedBrainwaves 7 місяців тому +47

    He really wanted to be CIA, didn't he?

    • @moshethepirate1428
      @moshethepirate1428 7 місяців тому +13

      Probably had a handler who said they were CIA but worked for another country.
      Or he is just highly regarded 😂

    • @59964
      @59964 7 місяців тому +25

      That guy: "I murdered American civilians to fund a coup in a foreign country."
      CIA: "Say no more. You're hired."

    • @tetedur377
      @tetedur377 7 місяців тому +8

      @@59964 If there were drugs involved, that's like an auto GS-13 right there.

    • @asabovesobelow591
      @asabovesobelow591 7 місяців тому +7

      Nah you have to be intelligent to be able to get into the CIA.

    • @JohnDoe-uq9ni
      @JohnDoe-uq9ni 7 місяців тому

      @@asabovesobelow591 clearly fucking not look to the bay of pigs

  • @acaciablossom558
    @acaciablossom558 7 місяців тому +1

    “Kenya not?!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I almost spit out my beer

  • @UboofWeiners
    @UboofWeiners 7 місяців тому +19

    Im buying an E4 Mafia shirt, i literally retired as a Corporal. This shirt was made for me.

    • @ThePursuitofHappiness1988
      @ThePursuitofHappiness1988 7 місяців тому +1

      I was med-boarded as a Specialist.

    • @JulezWinnfield
      @JulezWinnfield 7 місяців тому

      E4 Corporal's will never be E4 Mafia. Go hangout with your E5 buddies....lol.

    • @UboofWeiners
      @UboofWeiners 7 місяців тому

      @@JulezWinnfield the Marine Corps has Corporals too. Its ok that you didnt know, I guess.

    • @jiminysnicket86
      @jiminysnicket86 7 місяців тому

      ​@@UboofWeinerscorporals are NCOs regardless of branch, in case you didn't know

    • @JulezWinnfield
      @JulezWinnfield 7 місяців тому +1

      @@UboofWeiners
      I'm well aware of that. Marine Corporals are considered junior NCO's, just like Army Corporal's. The Army E4 Mafia is E4 Specialist specific since we aren't held to the leadership requirements as NCO's.

  • @willnotquit
    @willnotquit 7 місяців тому +1

    “Fiddle fuckin around in Florida”…I did that 35 years ago and I’m still here…lol🤣🤣

  • @bobspalding2477
    @bobspalding2477 7 місяців тому +4

    Immediately see one with an 82nd patch. “Nothing following me clicking this vid will surprise me.”

    • @JUDAS_ACTUAL
      @JUDAS_ACTUAL 7 місяців тому

      Yeah, 82nd out there with all the hot-dimes and war crimes.

  • @michaelhawkes6492
    @michaelhawkes6492 7 місяців тому +14

    I mean.. it's only crime if you get caught.

    • @JTews-vi2te
      @JTews-vi2te 7 місяців тому +1

      It's not a war crime the first time...

  • @Delimon007
    @Delimon007 7 місяців тому +24

    Oh my god, as soon as you said dude was a private alarm bells started going off 😂 I have not thought about military ranks in 8 years, but my first thought was that private was the lowest in the Army branch right? Googled that, and I was right. AIn't no way boy, 6+ years AND is still a private?!?!? Someone got UCMJed. . .

    • @johnneill5960
      @johnneill5960 7 місяців тому +8

      Considering you can join as a E-3 with the buddy program I’m gonna have to say that’s a fail

    • @g00gleisgayerthanaids56
      @g00gleisgayerthanaids56 7 місяців тому

      You can lose rank via njp... its very common amongst the infantry, used to be, gettin busted down was a right of passage... i served with a guy who shouldve been an e6 but got busted down to e2 twice... great soldier down range, terrible in the rear.

  • @italjahcorntrashroller
    @italjahcorntrashroller 7 місяців тому +15

    This sounds like a plan a 6yr pvt would exicute.

    • @ThatDude01028
      @ThatDude01028 7 місяців тому +6

      You sound like one of them😂

    • @stillcantbesilencedevennow
      @stillcantbesilencedevennow 7 місяців тому +3

      Oh my. I hope English is your third or 4th language. Lol

    • @andreaholcock8992
      @andreaholcock8992 7 місяців тому

      @@stillcantbesilencedevennowwhat language do you thank your father for blowing his hot seed directly into your hungry belly in?

  • @charlesshelton7989
    @charlesshelton7989 7 місяців тому +79

    What about those Army Rangers and a Canadian soldier who robbed a bank in Seattle?

    • @battleboat12
      @battleboat12 7 місяців тому +36

      It’s Seattle, that’s the least headline worthy thing that happened that week.

    • @gustaafargoan
      @gustaafargoan 7 місяців тому +2

      They got caught.

    • @evanjennings4823
      @evanjennings4823 7 місяців тому +7

      Crime, not War crime.

    • @hahdgabfhbsjcnsncnnsdbbzbs
      @hahdgabfhbsjcnsncnnsdbbzbs 7 місяців тому +1

      Lmao

    • @tetedur377
      @tetedur377 7 місяців тому +10

      @@evanjennings4823 Depends on whether the crime was committed on Antifa territory or not.

  • @Arcturuseyes
    @Arcturuseyes 7 місяців тому +1

    Crazy stuff man, presented clearly and amusingly, rock on

  • @whiskey_tango_foxtrot__
    @whiskey_tango_foxtrot__ 7 місяців тому +25

    The E4 mafia does not claim these two...

  • @DJBr3ttV
    @DJBr3ttV 7 місяців тому +1

    "Hey buddy. I'm bored. Lets do something"
    "Wanna do some war crimes?"
    "Ok"

  • @gulagbatman1318
    @gulagbatman1318 7 місяців тому +27

    This is so below the level of crayon eater, that I feel like I can join a military branch.
    😂💀

    • @crazychase98
      @crazychase98 7 місяців тому +10

      The standards have gotten so low these guys still seam special forces ter

    • @jiminysnicket86
      @jiminysnicket86 7 місяців тому +3

      ​@@crazychase98the standards were lower during GWOT dude

    • @stillcantbesilencedevennow
      @stillcantbesilencedevennow 7 місяців тому +2

      ​@jiminysnicket86 they're even worse now. It's sick tbh

    • @EckRD
      @EckRD 7 місяців тому

      ​@@stillcantbesilencedevennow The shitbaggery is still the same before and now. Hint. Your 1Sgt is an asshole for a reason. 😂

  • @BenCDBrown
    @BenCDBrown 7 місяців тому +2

    Ok, I have to say this, AC, you need to be the new Kermit Frog.

  • @jamescampbell4334
    @jamescampbell4334 7 місяців тому +72

    The lesson here? Don't go out and indiscriminately "forever sleep" people.
    Because,.........
    .
    the government HATES competition.
    EDIT: posted this comment after watching the vid opening. Saw you asked for these sort of comments at the vid ending and 😂.

    • @brianmead7556
      @brianmead7556 7 місяців тому +6

      4 rules to being a successful mercenary, as I recall hearing about 8 beers into a really weird night from a guy who legit lived it and now runs a contracting firm.
      1. Payment in full on time every time; you're paid to work and there for pay, if money's wrong, leave, it only ever gets worse if the basics aren't handled.
      2. Never bring your own guns; if the client really wants you armed, they'll make sure you get armed; guns will get you in trouble quick and easy in 99% of the world.
      3. Only take one risk at a time. If you're moving contraband, don't have a gun. If you're prepping a direct action, don't be obvious. If you're enforcing for someone, don't take anything. If you're dishing bribes, don't have any warrants.
      4. Never become politically inconvenient to your home country. You need the safe haven, don't make the place you count on living want you in jail or dead.

  • @leonitus1007
    @leonitus1007 7 місяців тому +2

    This story needs to be a full length comedy movie.

  • @RealJonNewton
    @RealJonNewton 7 місяців тому +11

    5:02 Kermit the frog talking about war crimes 😂😂

    • @bearbpm
      @bearbpm 7 місяців тому

      I was thinking the dude from Superstore. Lol

  • @MrUnforgiven765
    @MrUnforgiven765 7 місяців тому +3

    What in the Discount Dale Gribble/ Soldier of Fortune is going on here lol

    • @uncletedscabin4625
      @uncletedscabin4625 7 місяців тому +1

      They were headed to Venezuela to meet their contact known only as "Octavio".

  • @funrun07haan50
    @funrun07haan50 7 місяців тому +4

    Best thing all day angry cops releasing a new vid

  • @adamrandell7946
    @adamrandell7946 7 місяців тому +1

    Dunno man, these guys sound more like a certain 3 letter agency than military 🤣

  • @writtenplague
    @writtenplague 7 місяців тому +2

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

  • @ACS20596
    @ACS20596 7 місяців тому +1

    worth the pause! That 'didnt speak spanish' part got me

  • @taylorlibby7642
    @taylorlibby7642 7 місяців тому +52

    Dumbest? There's some stiff competition for the top spot. This should be fun!
    (Edit - Wow. Horrible and forehead slappingly dumb all at the same time. It's like a Coen Brothers version of Dumb and Dumber.)

    • @Isaac_132
      @Isaac_132 7 місяців тому +7

      My nomination goes to Marine *Marcelo Hernandez* who got out of basic training and apparently didn't want that slow money selling vapes, nope, he decided to rob a couple jewelry stores instead. He was arrested with three handguns, $11,000 in cash, and $500,000 worth of jewelry including diamonds and other precious stones.

  • @TheDesertRat31
    @TheDesertRat31 7 місяців тому +8

    They get kicked out of Kenya, and they return to the US and go to.... Florida. Because OF COURSE they go to Florida!!!

    • @The1andonlyAbber
      @The1andonlyAbber 7 місяців тому

      Yep. Certified “Florida Man” moment.

  • @Jpm463
    @Jpm463 7 місяців тому +13

    Reminds me of all the stories of former special forces guys joing drug cartels.

    • @TheUnclaimedOne
      @TheUnclaimedOne 7 місяців тому +3

      Apparently the money’s really good

    • @rubric-eo5yj
      @rubric-eo5yj 7 місяців тому +4

      @@TheUnclaimedOne cause that's where the money at

    • @HiragamaIkunai
      @HiragamaIkunai 7 місяців тому

      @@rubric-eo5yj and the free fbi/cia sponsored murder since they are supporting the cartels

    • @brianmead7556
      @brianmead7556 7 місяців тому +4

      Difference is they know to not out themselves, make the money good and quick, and skeddaddle instead of drawing attention and rolling the dice til the inevitable happens.

  • @RedMedic1972
    @RedMedic1972 7 місяців тому +2

    I hear Kenya and immediately think of the Power Thirst videos….😂😂

    • @precise1329
      @precise1329 7 місяців тому +2

      Internet deep dive lore right there.

  • @papabear1333
    @papabear1333 7 місяців тому +11

    I guess it is a war crime the first time 🤔🤨😏😂😂😂😂

    • @davidquinn7332
      @davidquinn7332 7 місяців тому +1

      that was the first thing that popped into my head

  • @camaroguy84
    @camaroguy84 7 місяців тому

    I learn so much history between you and TFE.....if history and current events were this fun to learn I might not have been a cop 😂

  • @Steve-ev6vx
    @Steve-ev6vx 7 місяців тому +7

    Your Ukrainian, "Not so fast!" Sounded more like an Italian.😂

    • @silkysmooth-vk2ux
      @silkysmooth-vk2ux 7 місяців тому +1

      Bone jor know lol

    • @tetedur377
      @tetedur377 7 місяців тому

      That's okay, his Towlie accent sounds German.

  • @lances4803
    @lances4803 7 місяців тому +1

    AC's physical comedy is 100% on point today!!!

  • @YankeeCommie
    @YankeeCommie 7 місяців тому +5

    Crimea voted to leave Ukraine. They are 90% Russian speaking and never considered themselves Ukrainians. I'm Russian and family from and currently lives in Crimea. Ukraine put no money and neglected it now it's been revitalized

  • @MuhammadAsghar-ck2um
    @MuhammadAsghar-ck2um 7 місяців тому +2

    I served with Lang in C Trp 1/13 cav 3rd brigade 1AD AT FT. Bliss. We were deployed together in Afghanistan to. He was cool until his wife cheated on him. It’s crazy man.

  • @Boot-Knot
    @Boot-Knot 7 місяців тому +9

    Those aren't grenades those are party pineapples

    • @DavidKlymenko
      @DavidKlymenko 7 місяців тому

      @@Boot-Knot I always liked 'safety rocks'

  • @MrPlainsflyer
    @MrPlainsflyer 7 місяців тому +1

    This is. The story just gets wilder and wilder

  • @Slava_Ukraini1991
    @Slava_Ukraini1991 7 місяців тому +3

    Getting kicked out of south sudan is a fucking achievement. WOW.

  • @cbrooksusmc
    @cbrooksusmc 7 місяців тому +1

    I watched the old video once…had to watch it a second time to refresh my memory

  • @Geneticspore
    @Geneticspore 7 місяців тому +4

    Didn't know Dr. J Peterson had a cameo in this episode. That was neat.

  • @DavidKlymenko
    @DavidKlymenko 7 місяців тому

    @angrycops glad Admin passed the email along to you. Thanks for doing the video.

  • @xAORxYINY4NG
    @xAORxYINY4NG 7 місяців тому +5

    Holy Shit! I met Craig when I was volunteering in Kyiv in 2022. He was at an English language school helping people practice their English! He even told me about traveling to Venezuela in that failed coup and also how he fought in the ZSU. He said he got kicked out after a while and that he joined up early. Apparently he also told me he had kids in the US and was married to a Ukrainian woman with kids. WTF!

  • @mockingpirate7659
    @mockingpirate7659 7 місяців тому

    Craigslist grenades? I'm listening. Lmao

  • @thomascraiker6449
    @thomascraiker6449 7 місяців тому +3

    I made E-4 and people literally forgot to promote me.

  • @mrrberger
    @mrrberger 7 місяців тому

    Lang and Alex are the real life version of Spies Like Us movie.

  • @mwindanji6714
    @mwindanji6714 7 місяців тому +5

    Kenya THRU Somalia ? 😳 Nairobi might have been a better choice. But the khat comes from a bit closer to the Somali border. Mogadishu is lovely in the winter 🙄

  • @incorrectbeans
    @incorrectbeans 7 місяців тому +1

    That's probably the quietest any Drill Sargeant has ever spoken.

  • @bencheevers6693
    @bencheevers6693 7 місяців тому +67

    Obviously Maine and Vermont would be much happier as Canadian Provinces, and Vermont would fit right in with our extremely liberal government. They should start a 'grassroots' movement to secede.

    • @BouncingZeus
      @BouncingZeus 7 місяців тому +23

      Maine stays we need the lobsters. Vermont can go, lol.

    • @Aredel
      @Aredel 7 місяців тому +23

      @@BouncingZeushell no. We can’t give Canada a monopoly on maple syrup.

    • @keto_writes
      @keto_writes 7 місяців тому +20

      we did that ... in 1782ish. not even joking. although at the time it was Vermont trying to start a grassroots movement to convince Quebec to secede and join our Republic. we even promised to speak French.

    • @Guildelin
      @Guildelin 7 місяців тому +6

      ​@Aredel we still have NH maple syrup... which is far better than Vermont and Canadian

    • @eugenecbell
      @eugenecbell 7 місяців тому +9

      @@Aredelcan we get Canada to take New Jersey?

  • @briansharp4388
    @briansharp4388 7 місяців тому

    See, this is what happens when they dont round up all those old "soldier of fortune" magazines😂

  • @justinanderson2675
    @justinanderson2675 7 місяців тому +24

    I made e4 in a 14 months and i am an idiot

    • @silkysmooth-vk2ux
      @silkysmooth-vk2ux 7 місяців тому +3

      I was rejected for E6 4 times. I have a great record. Army boards suck. I decided to say f*** the board and get the degrees instead. My last duty station realized that I got screwed over and awarded me E6. I retired medically after 14 years with 80% . Glad I'm out

    • @Guildelin
      @Guildelin 7 місяців тому +1

      ​@@silkysmooth-vk2uxno board for e4 lol

    • @matthiasthulman4058
      @matthiasthulman4058 7 місяців тому +3

      ​@@GuildelinE6. Never mentioned E4

    • @silkysmooth-vk2ux
      @silkysmooth-vk2ux 7 місяців тому +1

      @@Guildelin I100% understood the E4 comment. I'm referring to the board process just to get my E6. I literally had the capability of going officer at that point from being blown off by the Army. I was injured right after going to the board while training with the Infantry guys.

    • @silkysmooth-vk2ux
      @silkysmooth-vk2ux 7 місяців тому

      @@Guildelin I was actually promoted for my E4 before everybody else in my old unit because I scored higher in other areas and had great things on my record.

  • @ericb9931
    @ericb9931 7 місяців тому

    Aside from our Squad Leaders and PLs, there was an E2 who was "the highest rank" in our company. He was Scrolled, former E6 who decked his captain 😆

  • @jackdevine5373
    @jackdevine5373 7 місяців тому +5

    Why wouldn't they just go to the French foreign legion.... 😅

    • @Cheeki_breeki6
      @Cheeki_breeki6 7 місяців тому

      Because they beat up schmucks like these two. They don't tolerate nonsense. It's like going to the Night's Watch.

  • @thevette-vet
    @thevette-vet 7 місяців тому +2

    You being both a military member and a cop, id like to see your insights on the police shooting of airman Roger Fortson by the Okaloosa County Sheriffs officer (same dept as acorn cop) on may 3rd 2024. Thats twice that department has placed lives in unnecessary danger and now an active service member has died from it.

  • @burnyburnoutze2nd
    @burnyburnoutze2nd 7 місяців тому +11

    "We're gonna call them Lang and Alex, to keep things easy"
    Ahhh yes, the classic time honoured American tradition of renaming foreign names so that it's easier to say. Some things never change.

    • @07jayann
      @07jayann 7 місяців тому +2

      Can you pronounce "ask?" or "ambulance?" Just wondering...

    • @07jayann
      @07jayann 7 місяців тому +1

      Can you pronounce Nacodoches or Anuktuvuk or Phitsanulok?

    • @Steve-ev6vx
      @Steve-ev6vx 7 місяців тому +3

      Bet you can't properly pronounce "Tchoutacabouffaa."

    • @TheBizziniss
      @TheBizziniss 7 місяців тому +1

      You’re welcome

    • @dixiecyrus8136
      @dixiecyrus8136 7 місяців тому +2

      Or Tchopatoulas 🤣🤣🤣

  • @curtiskretzer8898
    @curtiskretzer8898 7 місяців тому

    To hear AC say"Watch my other video that's mindnumbi gly dumb"is beyond hilarious

  • @TexanApollyon
    @TexanApollyon 7 місяців тому +7

    Need me a war criminal baddie

  • @iw9472
    @iw9472 7 місяців тому +1

    As a Venezuelan 😂 this was a trip to watch

  • @chrisferguson1911
    @chrisferguson1911 7 місяців тому +7

    YAY!!!🇺🇸👍🇺🇸🤘🇺🇸