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HOW TO OVERCOME A GAS LIGHTING RELATIONSHIP by RC Blakes
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
- #rcblakes #queenology #lisa blakes
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Can you please do a video on how a woman can show reciprocation and appreciation to a man during the PRE-RELATIONSHIP stage WITHOUT coming off as desperate or doing too much?
I'd like to know, too, because at this point, it feels like any reception turns men off.
Oooh, that's good!!!
The man I'm married to now when we were dating he wouldn't take gifts from me! After about a year or more he accepted my gifts. He thought it would make him feel less of a man to take anything from a woman! He would pay for everything.
Simply exhibiting good manners, authenticity, and interest/curiosity, and respect are sufficient. Anything more IS desperation and insecurity and will turn most men away.
RC has told ladies in the past that they should reciprocate the man's moves, when he makes a move, you respond positively in the same manner. When he pulls back or goes silent, you pull back too.
When the person you thought you knew, the person you love who you thought loved you. When that person turns on you, and turns every interaction into a gaslighting experience, constantly invalidating you, power tripping, or one upping you just for their sadistic pleasure. The best thing you can do is journal daily and keep it in a safe place. When you go back and read the daily events you cant help but side eye that person forever. That journal validates you and clears the cognitive dissonance into clarity.
Pointers to deal with a
GAS LIGHTER
1. Awareness and acknowledgement - recognise the signs of gaslighting such as confusion, doubtful, isolation from friends and family etc
2.Documentation-start journaling about any conversations/events that happened and didn't sit well with you
3. Re -Strengthen your support network
4.Set BOUNDARIES -clearly define what you accept and will not accept
5. Seek PROFESSIONAL help
6. Be COURAGEOUS
Trust me when you’re dealing with a narc a journal is needed or they make you feel crazy & you can also forget why you feel a certain way about them, when they fake love you. The love is never real your energy is just fuel that they need.
Yep! it also helps you keep track of the things they've done and said to you, so when you get the strength to walk away and might be tempted to go back...your past can remind why that's a bad idea.
yes fake love.. i am married to a covert narc. and i just always feel drained cause i get no help, no love, no respect, talks down to me, says God will deal with me and on top of it he is delusional about the past 20 years saying we had so much intimacy..lies.. not even once a year.. That's when I started to journal and reaching out to friends and family who confirmed my thoughts this man doesn't give a crap about me and never has. I am his second mommy. He doesn't even care when I am sick. He literally treats me worse than our farm animals.
I went through gaslighting for years in my marriage but I didn't know at the time what was going on. God saved me! Thank you for teaching this❤
Amen. There is nothing hidden against me in my life that isn't revealed by the Spirit of Truth! And all things work together for my good and every narcissist influence over my life has been broken & indicted in Jesus's name. Amen.
AMEN!!!❤️🔥🙏🏼✝️
“Better to die on your feet, then live on your knees”. Powerful! Keep teaching heavy, sir❤Thank You!
Brothers and Sister please take this advice from RC Blake's. I was in a 5 year relationship with a person that is a Narcissistic Person I knew something was off I couldn't put my finger on it. All this info is so important, that person had me thinking I was crazy . All the points that he pointed out I went through them all. Thank God I finally didn't want to deal with it anymore. When I left this person I did no contact. I love this person but when he was saying to me was not me it was him. I've been out of that relationship for 10 years when I saw that person again I was walking in the Glory happy knowing who I was. He has had about 5 girlfriend since me and him. He spoke to me I spoke back he waited to have a conversation with me I was free keep it moving. Thank you for showing me what I was dealing with. I took time to get closer to the Trinity I'm walking in my purpose loving myself. I love myself.
Thank you Bishop for sharing this! I was in a narcissistic marriage for 9 years. After the relationship, it was difficult to remember who I once was. I'm glad to say I've been free from that relationship for 15 years now! Thank God for setting the captives free!
Ouh Lord! Whenever I would bring up an issue, he would ask me the date and the TIME it happened. It was nearly impossible to always have those prepared. We couldn’t talk about anything else because he would convince me that those stuff never happened if I did not know the date. Then, when I would make sure to write the date and time down for the next "argument", he would say something else. I was in a state of confusion and he used my memory against me. I’ve been single for nearly 2 years and recovering from these types of relationships is so hard. I realize that so many things were not normal when I talk to "normal" guys.
Thank you Pastor.
It's nothing but the Grace of God that I still have my mind. My soon ex-husband would consistently accuse me of having sex with my close girlfriend. He called me very bad names, so bad that I was able to tell anyone until 9yrs later. It was not until I started listening to you Bishop and praying that God allowed him to leave and TOLD ME TO NOT TAKE HIM BACK. That was the 2nd time he left. Now I have not been in contact with him for 18 months and I have started divorce process. Praise be to God for being free. Thank you Bishop. God bless you.
Phyllis Smith
Also... It was my own mother who was the gaslighter.. still is to this day. I remember, every relationship I ever had, she would tell me all kinds of lies to screw it up and make me look crazy. She would confuse the crap out of me. I never knew how to see what was really happening in my life. But God has saved me. 45 years later🙈 I'm grateful that you are talking about this topic because we need this more then ever. My only concern is.. for those people who it is a parent who gaslights, what support can you really get? Because even when my friends saw that my mother was way off, they always told me "well she's your mother, you have to listen to her cause she's doing it out of love for you" so it was like I attracted friends from that broken place she had put me in since birth. 😮😳😈🔥🥵
Thanks for this message, I’m so glad god removed this person from my life. I loved him but I say I know I’m not crazy. I always found myself apologizing and later be like why but it was to keep confusion down as well. It was so much but thank you again for this message. He still to this day talk through my son, telling him you just don’t know what your mother did. I just told my son we both need to pray heavily for your father but that I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. I’m thankful I have no hate in my heart and I been forgave him. Thankful it’s over. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thank you very much father. I just ended a relationship of 2 years 2 months ago. Gaslighting was on the fore front if the relationship. He was a very feminine man, narcissistic and Gaslighting. I was about to lose my mind. It was soo bad that when my phone rang I knew that it is either him or my eldest sister calling. To this day it is only my sister calling my phone because he isolated me from my friends. Thank you
Hugs to you precious one 💖
🙏🏽
It’s sick because this goes for all relationships and not just between a man and woman. I literally just was in all relationships not with a man but people who were suppose to be Christians that literally was gaslighting me. They were jealous and envious of me because of the calling on my life. They wanted to see me go crazy, they tried to stop me from going forth in my calling. That’s so demonic when you on purpose do this because you are jealous and envious of me. Thats dangerous because that literally can kill you frfr. I’ve had females that was suppose to be my friend do this to me.
This is an excellent and very great video. I can completely relate on so many levels. It wasn’t until I reached my mid to late 30s that I understood that my mother has been gaslighting me my entire life. My father did to but not as much as my mother. My mother was more aggressive with it. My very last encounter with her made that clear as day. Which then explains how I grew up to get in relationships with men who would gaslight me. It was so normal, and I always thought it was me and that I was losing my mind. So the advice you’re giving is very sound and makes perfect sense.
I CAN RELATE TO IT ALL🤦🏽♀️. I'VE GOTTEN A LOT BETTER AND ALOT STRONGER 💪🏽 FROM NORFOLK, VA❤
Be ye transformed by the renewing of our minds
This message came on time!! I just removed myself tonight from a man tht just did that to me. I’m so glad I didn’t give up the cookies 🥳🥳🥳I’ve learned to spot this quickly now. Ty bishop for schooling us on this type of manipulation 🙏🏽🕊️
Thanks Bishop for dropping in!!
Will you do a video on how to overcome the urge to seek revenge? I suffer from having evil feelings toward my ex he ruined my spirit and I am angry that he doesn't suffer.
Pray for them. It is like a sausage machine you don't magically end up with beef sausages if you put chicken in it. They will get what they serve.
Vengeance is mine says the Lord. You don't have to do anything. He probably is suffering your just not seeing it
The only revenge you should seek, is becoming a better person and getting closer to god. No matter what happen, pray for him and let god handle it.
Bishop RC - Luke 12:2, that was my foundational declaration from 2017- 2019 when I started to become aware of the manipulation & deception. I had to stand on God’s word to expose, reveal, heal, deliver & set free. I’m remain grateful for the day God sent U to my UA-cam feed when I Googled “gaslighting.” Ur Mordecai Mission & Queenlogy student alumni.
I got rid of an horrible narcissist only with the help of The LORD! GOD eventually showed me that this idiot only brings chaos. There's no peace when he's around. He didn't want to go, but I let him know I had no more good feelings for him. He became detestable to me. I cared nothing for him anymore. When I'm gone I'm completely finished with a person & don't care at all!!!
I don't even know how I ended up in this. I was strong-minded, and now that's not the case. He has me completely isolated and dependent on him.
I believe in you! God is good, always. Hang in there. You are stronger than you think…🥰
U literally just read my mind , I sit here just so ashamed and confused as to how this has happened ,I am smarter than this ,I am not weak minded ,and I have been very secure in my worth and yet now I am isolated ,insecure,and lost and idk how I got here or how to get back . Your not alone
💯💔🎯
My Lord my lord. Thanks for this message
You are stronger than you think precious one 💖
Jesus is the key
Kind sir, you're wise words and you're wisdom is something to strive for.
Thank You Bishop for that prayer!! I touch and agree! I have had several people in my life with this narcissistic spirit, including my mother and my soon to be ex husband. In fact, he is stalling our final divorce trial and timesharing case, with constant harassment, belittlement, blatant lies, even calling CPS on me with no proof. It's been emotionally taxing as I am a single parent to children with special needs. And the courts care less about my emotional well-being as a caregiver, and more about his "rights" as a parent, although I petitioned the divorce,
get no alimony, spousal support, nor child support. And he threatens me daily with "contempt of court" because I set my boundaries and only communicate what's needed for our shared child. I needed this message and the prayer because I'm tired. Thank You again for this message and the scriptures. ❤
Even if it hurts you respect yourself and set boundaries
I CAN RELATE TO IT ALL🤦🏽♀️. BUT I'VE GOTTEN ALOT BETTER AND ALOT STRONGER 💪🏽 FROM NORFOLK, VA❤️ THANK YOU 😊
Thank you, Bishop Blakes....this was the highlight of my weekend! I'm new to this channel, and I'm so thankful to the Lord to have found you. HOW I wish we girls would've had a mentor like you when we were in our 20s! Would've saved SO much heartache, nonsense & wasted time! Praying-(and sharing your videos) that many more young ladies will discover you, to also be helped & woken up. Love the scriptures you give. Thank you for the powerful "commanding" prayer you prayed over us! It was also an excellent example of gaslighting that you gave from the Word, regarding Elijah & Jezebel. Praise God for you, Bishop Blakes, & keep shootin' us straight!
❤️✝️🕊
Your right on point. I didnt hv an idea what a narcassit was,i lived with a man for 15 yrs,who is also 16 yrs older than me,i thought he had the maturity & learned more in life to know what works & dont,esp with both of us have been married & divorced.I didnt hv a clue,he was a complete nightmare,i thought i was loosing my mind,he future faked me to the hilt,gaslighting,ghosting,in the same house not speaking for wks,the raging arguments.This yr,i had enough,April 1st I left,, no Contact,im out & its constant work EVERYDAY. But for the 1st time in more than a decade,i can peaceful ly sleep & im dreaming again!
You are such a blessing in my life. My partner has a Bipolar diagnosis . Its made itself known very vividly in my relationship and it has inflicted my soul with unbelievable pain. its the most powerful mental disorder and it can cause grief beyond recognition. It has run through my relationship like a freight train n every direction it could hit me from. I need your support and advice to work through the mental and physical torment I've been made to feel.
Stay strong
This message was delivered JUST FOR ME ! cus WOW ! RIGHT ON TIME !
As always eye opening information. I can relate to everything you touched on. I lived with a gaslighter for years. I didn’t know it until towards the end of our association. I started reading books on narcissism and gaslighting and finally letting go got easy. Thank you for blessing us with your knowledge❤️🙏🏽
How to overcome a gaslighting relationship? Gaslight that person the same way they do you and they will leave because they are not getting the reaction they want from you. Or ignore them that will make the gaslighter mad as hell and they will eventually leave or you leave. Its all a psychological game they play but dont like played on them!
👍
You are God sent, I was just searching for scriptures to explain narcissist abuse. You have answer my prayers and I am going to purchase your Book. Thank you Rev Blake , you are helping your Black sisters and all women grow closer to God and to stop feeling so lost and defeated. Praise God!!!❤
You definitely right. I have to keep a journal and I've been meaning to get one and I keep forgetting. So thank you so much for reminding me. I'm going to stay on it
i.didnt think i was losing my mind, i realized he was illogical and trying to hurt me. He DID hurt me, my heart dropped to the floor, I was deeply saddened. but I didnt aay anything, I turned away.
God.surrrrre is slow in revealing the truth. Almost like he.disnt do anything at all.
You are so HITTING this on the nail!
Thank you and your wife for your openess.
Beyond kind and gracious.
Thank you thank you thank you! For sharing these terms that most do not understand, and are needing to take action on saving ourselves. ✌🏽💜🌞
I’ve gotten your book it’s wonderful Thankyou so very much for your deep study. I’m praising and thanking Father God and lord Jesus for answering my prayers.Much love to you and Lisa❤and yes the Holy Spirit
Much needed conversation!
This is ALL absolutely true. Every detail. Listen carefully. I’ve been through it. It’s all absolutely the process I followed to get out.
Thank God for you! Thank you and your wife for giving us your time and care. 🙏
Audio comes in at 2:18
Thank you for your prayer. I receive and walk in victory.
Thank you Jesus
❤
The narc (pastor)went through my prayer journal and accused me of lying in my PRAYER journal. So be careful where you journal.
Thank you brother again for this topic and always because you seek the word of the Lord to support your experience and findings and sharing so that we may grow and find it in our house, how God loves us, and how we should be to one another
30:10 Courage!!!! Greater is He that is IN ME!!!
Thank you, all this is very familiar to me… I’m in therapy and learning a lot….
Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! Thank you for the revelations Lord! 👏🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾❤
Thank you Bishop, we love and appreciate you so very much. 🙏🏼💙🙏🏼💙
Thank you
REAL TALK!! 100% CORRECT.
Thanks!
Your voice puts me at ease. Thank you 🙏
Single parent/blended family video appreciated
My Narcissistic broke up with me dec 25th when I asked him for commitment.called me Dumbass when I asked him about a certain text I saw on his phone. I was always confused, he usually took 2 to three hours to just reply a simple text, when we go out in public he used to avoid me. When we together he was always on his phone . Never says he loves me, never compliments me. When I ask him he says look at my actions more than my words. Dating this man was crazy am glad am out now. It has been two month of no contact and am good now
Please stay away from him ❤
I just double checked a diff vid and it works.
Thank you Bishop RC Blakes I thank you for this word today. I needed to hear this message.
Great word
Good Evening Pastor Blakes ❤🙏🏼👑⚜️
Thank you Bishop and First Lady Lisa. 🙏🏾
Yes,I understand what you are saying it happened to me,a 74 year old man thought he was spiritual but actually wasn't
That was pretending
Yes
This was very good, Bishop ❤❤❤❤..." The Delusion of Confusion".....When you say exercising courage brought out the coward, that was true in my case. Your book should be a "must read" offered by all therapists. Blessings to you 🙏 ❤ The other biblical gas lighting was Sampson ind Delilah.
FACTS ON FACTS ON FACTS!!!! ❤
When the Narc first gaslight me I thought he was having an episode of early dementia. 😳
Me too 😂 omg 😮
😂😂😂
😂😂me too, I’m like dang I can only imagine how it would be when he got much older. I know people can’t be born this way, he had to have sold his soul to the devil.
God Bless you. Thank you for yoyr words of wisdom. Needed today!!
Definitely needed this today !!!! Thanks For Sharing 💕
I wish I knew this sooner
Love this! Bishop, have you ever heard of limerence? I'd be interested in hearing your take on it.
Thank you Pastor. Hallelujah!
Thank you for this video. I truly struggle with receiving correction and this video helps me understand it better. I used to see correction from a spouse as a form of manipulation and controll. I also struggle with giving correction in a gentle way. This has caused frustration for other person in my relationship. I now understand. But I have made attempts to be honest and truthful about my grievances with him and he would become frustrated and upset. Which made me uncomfortable and reluctant to tell him anything. We have not spoken for 4 weeks, I spoke to them recently via phone and text and noticed they would not refer to me by name. For instance Hi Cam or bye Cam. I feel like his heart has hardened and there's no recovering from this. Once the time and distance come into play, it's over.
I dont know how to navigate this or my next steps. I'm open to feedback.
It hurts so much. 💔
Thank you great msg
Thanks Bishop RC
Thank you ❤
Thank you Bishop
Great message Dad!❤
Get Tony Gaston on the panel too
Tony Gaskins 😊❤
7:39 Facts!
Ladies when you know who you are and what you stand for…no one & i mean know one! can tell you who you are and gaslight you.
i love dr. tart and hardly Ryan and Tysean. Can you get Tony Gaskins to come?
Thank you Jesus EL ROI ,
THANK YOU. AMEN
AMEN. MAY GOD HELP THOSE INDIVIDUALS WHOLLY
And he does. He does ☝️ 🙏
That part god always has a way to reveal TRUTH YES TAKE YOUR AUTHORITY IN JESUS NAME WE HAVE TO KNOW OUR AUTHORITY AS A BELIEVER
Amen ❤
😊Why is Queenology not on line to join for those who can not travel? losing a lot of money, I'd sign up! Boni😊
Amen Hallelujah EL ROI,
Sir can you make a video regarding if men and women can be friends out of committed relationship? I am very curious of your opinion. Because narcissists has many "just friends". I want to hear your thoughts and insights. Thanks. God bless. 🙏💐
What if your Father is a Narcissist & you’re his daughter? How do you handle that? I’m his daughter & he mentally dog out us and our Mom
AMEN!
Thank you for your knowledge. For those who are abroad (not in USA), is it possible to purchase the record of queenology 2024? Thank you so much
He wants to make big steps. He wants 2 children because he doesn't have any children yet. He wants to live together. He lives in a room with someone and he doesn't have his own house. If I can deal with it better, tips are really welcome and if you see that this is not correct, I would like to hear it, also from other people. This is a short summary. I know you are busy but hopefully you read my message and can reply to me. Thank you in advance. Bless you♥️
He doesn't need any children, he doesn't even have his own house. He's probably barely working, does he have his own transportation? Leave this dusty bum alone
Sometimes you do everything right and they still turn into monsters later or after marriage etc the quality out there is poor thata the truth too many broken people in the dating pool that didn't deal with their traumas and carry it with them everywhere they go from relationship to relationship
I watch all of your videos and I learn so much from them especially the soul tie ones! but i haven’t came across one on how to break a soul tie when a child was born through this ungodly union! please help me bishop i
have been stuck for 17yrs and we now have a 1yr old daughter i desperately need your help breaking this soul tie! i know it’s off subject but i need help❤🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I can hear
I walked away from an individual, right back into a system of manipulation and control.