Hallo, 0:40 - Part 1 Composition 6:18 - Part 2 Beat It 8:35 - Part 3 Big Bottom 10:58 - Part 4 Double Team 13:18 - Part 5 Harmoany 14:59 - Part 6 On Top 18:16 - Part 7 Summary 18:52 - The End Result Schtay Shexy Geert ♥
I don't know what I prefer: your incredibly in depth tutorial for making actual porn music, or the fact you kept using puns, double entendres and wordplay related to music and sex for 20 whole minutes
@@arsenentibushitse7794 The Propet Fivesch isch a very shexy schintesicher. It hasch patcsh memoriesch and polyphoniesch. I prefer rev 2 to rev 3. SSM isch more shexy thatn Curtis and soundsch more like S&M.
Love the video. It's like an ORAL history, or DEEP ANALysis of a neglected genre. I appreciate that you're a MISSIONARY of sorts, SPREADING the word about such niche musical topics that might otherwise fall through the CRACKS. I'm COMING to appreciate the THRUST of your approach to subjects like these. Someone, I think it was JOHN THOMAS (or was it DICK JOHNSON?) said that only a CREAMPIE is sweeter than a good 6/9 chord. Or maybe it was BALZAC. Anyway, great LICKS. Great job POUNDIng the keys and STROKING the neck of that guitar. The 70's was a SEMINAL time for funk music scores, in many kinds of films; not just the ones your dad kept in his VHS collection between the mattress and the BOX spring. See You Next Tuesday!!!
@@geertvanschlanger8057 Oh, Geert! I could not resist the siren song of that last one. Such a perfect, indirect pun. I picture Americans scratching their heads while Brits spit their beverages out all over their computer screens in shock and (hopefully) amusement...please forgive me...
When I was at school, a friend had a super cheap wah pedal. Maroon plastic, and it seemed to be controlled by a strip of metal bending as there were no pots or LDRs or anything similar inside. What was great through was that everything you played through it instantly sounded like porno music. Enter Sandman through a distortion pedal sounded like Metallica. Enter Sandman through this wah sounded like Debbie was getting very familiar with one of the more Southern states.
Epic. No 70s "adult" movie had music _this_ cool, though. That was more the detective TV series with a black protagonist. So probably none. But this is *exactly* what they _would_ have sounded like. Great job, man!
actually check some Alain Goraguer's work for Brigitte Lahaie movies (French porn actress from the 70/80's) and you'll realize this music was really cool.
My brother and I would play the Debbie Does Dallis theme all the time when I was a kid. My Dad was like, I think I've heard that somewhere. We were like, yeah... From your secret VHS tape we watch everyday when you aren't here.
I once recorded it on bass with an envelope filter and sent it to my brother. He texted me back “Debbie Does Dallas, shower scene.” Perverts. All of us.
@@XavierRadix I know, right? I Can't Get It Out Of My Head. This character has a Strange Magic, that way. But he's behind the times. Doesn't he know that Rock And Roll Is King? But I guess you gotta Hold On Tight To Your Dreams, yes?
Nice recreation of an amazing effort by talented musicians back in the day to create an awesome soundtrack that just ends up getting MUTED so no one in the next room knows what you are watching 😆
We can never have enough Dunglish in our lives. It's not completely accurate of course, but it's the best imitation I have ever heard from an Englishman. Ga vooral door zo, Alex. 😊
This is just incredible. A new level! I’ve been open mouth grinning and laughing all the way. This will get many revisits as there’s so many little nuggetsh in there, sho I would like to clean them all out, if you know what I meansh?
I would 100% buy an entire album of this if you made it, Geert. I know you’ve an expert and all but I have to say that the quality and sound is amazingly spot on 👌🏼
This channel has great content. Keeping a joke going and still be informative for real is no joke. I longed for a vibraslap, but in all other aspects full points for execution.
Hah, I can only imagine how long this video took to put together, considering keeping in character and all. Unless, of course, Geert is a well rehearsed alternative persona/party trick :-) Great content, though, as always. Keep it coming, with or without Geert! :-)
Hahaha. We can't all sound like Frans Timmermans. But take a listen to Legowelt when he's reviewing Roland Boutique D-05. That's Dunglish in optima forma.
OH MY GOD I learned the baseline like a year ago and I forgot about this video and recently have been playing the baseline as a fill by muscle memory and I’m SO GLAD I FOUND THIS AGAIN 😂😫
"Gutten tag, I am ze pizza dealer, and I heard some frau here wanted some pizza...vith extra schlöng. But I don't have ze change to spare..." (chaka whacka whacka, chaka whacka whacka, chaka whacka whacka)
Dude, I just found your channel and have been watching all of your videos. I honestly think you are my favorite musician at the moment. If the world ever returns to normal and you make it to Tokyo I’d love to buy you a beer and pick your brain about a bazillion things. Anyway, thanks for all the inspiration.
25 years ago a friend asked me to write a 70s porn riff I used the same chords similar riff grooves. I am quite chuffed that I was on the right track we called the riff moustache 😂
Hallo,
0:40 - Part 1 Composition
6:18 - Part 2 Beat It
8:35 - Part 3 Big Bottom
10:58 - Part 4 Double Team
13:18 - Part 5 Harmoany
14:59 - Part 6 On Top
18:16 - Part 7 Summary
18:52 - The End Result
Schtay Shexy
Geert ♥
LOL you made a separate account. that's some real dedication
@@emrazum 😎
@@geertvanschlanger8057 shexy ash hell.
Geniaal!
Geert is exceedingly natural.
It's a bit alarming. I mean where does one even get boots like that?
I lost it when I realised it's an actual, legit tutorial
Of coursche. Shexy tutorial.
Yes but I expected the audio to be coordinated with the visual.life is cruella.
Yes, me too.
Lost it, eh? So you jizzed in your pants then, yea?
Not even kidding, I'm glad this exists because I'm going to make a spoof song in this style and this is actually incredibly helpful
This really is what the internet was made for.
Yesh
the internet is for porn
Very shexy!
Yes, indeed.
Tips for making porno music: Don't use A-minor
FBI OPEN UP
Only use minors
Bobby Hahaha excellent!
I guess you should use the D major
Hold up
“I see you don’t have a lifeguard at your beach.”
“This isn’t a beach! this is a bathtub!”
😂😂😂 That shitty porno intro that went viral
I need to protect you from those lemon stealing whores
Here's another one, from a gay porno
"Oh shit, I'm sorry"
"Sorry for what? Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks, especially since they are such good size and all"@@bmhater1283
I don't know what I prefer: your incredibly in depth tutorial for making actual porn music, or the fact you kept using puns, double entendres and wordplay related to music and sex for 20 whole minutes
Schank you for your shexy commetsch.
Innuendo
I think it goes both ways....if you know what I'm saying.
@@ontherhodes8088 Oh, I DO know what you're shayin'!
Really? I didn't hear any puns. Seemed like quite a serious tutorial
"A lot of people make love to the sound of the synthesizer. Some people even make love on the synthesizer." - Geert Van Schlänger
Yamaha CS-80 ish probably the best for ze love makings. It's nicesh and big.
Which is why it's a bit sticky 😂
@@geertvanschlanger8057 isch prophet 05 a joke to you ?
@@arsenentibushitse7794 The Propet Fivesch isch a very shexy schintesicher. It hasch patcsh memoriesch and polyphoniesch. I prefer rev 2 to rev 3. SSM isch more shexy thatn Curtis and soundsch more like S&M.
Personaly i make love WITH synthetisers...
Hallo, i have come to fix ze vashing machine
18:56
i understood that reference.
Karl Hungus, is that you?
Okay cum right in
Logjammin'
Thought it said 70s Piano tutorial. Watched whole thing
I also like to tinkle with my ivories if you know what I'm shaying...
I had misread that, too! What is wrong with us?:)))
Mark me down as well, for that misunderstanding.
Yeah I first thought it might talk about the piano in '70s ballads or something, but still a fantastic video in any case 😂
i read "piano" too until i heard the first sounds
Unironically great music, doesn’t matter if it’s made for porn, It funky as hell
Porn has lead the way in all newest and greatest tech ologies and advancements. Thats a fact
taLLdavidproduction yeah let’s be fair, the invention of porn is a greatest advice in society to date
@@taLLdavidproduction stg I can see us accidentally creating a Skynet from trying to create too realistic sex bots 😂
Why did this get associated specifically with porn anyway? These sounds were used all over the media.
Grim2 because porn
Now I know what I am preforming for my school Talent Show
Will there be a video posted
Mysterious Chris porno?
Record it!
Boomers will have ptsd
+
Love the video. It's like an ORAL history, or DEEP ANALysis of a neglected genre. I appreciate that you're a MISSIONARY of sorts, SPREADING the word about such niche musical topics that might otherwise fall through the CRACKS. I'm COMING to appreciate the THRUST of your approach to subjects like these. Someone, I think it was JOHN THOMAS (or was it DICK JOHNSON?) said that only a CREAMPIE is sweeter than a good 6/9 chord. Or maybe it was BALZAC. Anyway, great LICKS. Great job POUNDIng the keys and STROKING the neck of that guitar. The 70's was a SEMINAL time for funk music scores, in many kinds of films; not just the ones your dad kept in his VHS collection between the mattress and the BOX spring. See You Next Tuesday!!!
I know what you're shaying.
That was some serious copywriting effort ;)
@@geertvanschlanger8057 Oh, Geert! I could not resist the siren song of that last one. Such a perfect, indirect pun. I picture Americans scratching their heads while Brits spit their beverages out all over their computer screens in shock and (hopefully) amusement...please forgive me...
BRAVO!
Excellent!
I could easily see this song in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Lu C very true
Or an Oceans 11 bit
i could see it in a red hot chili peppers album
Quentin whom? I can't find him on my favourite adult site...
Zanko The bass riff at 10:35 sounds like Flea.
this is a video that will hit recommended in about 6 years.
When I was at school, a friend had a super cheap wah pedal. Maroon plastic, and it seemed to be controlled by a strip of metal bending as there were no pots or LDRs or anything similar inside. What was great through was that everything you played through it instantly sounded like porno music. Enter Sandman through a distortion pedal sounded like Metallica. Enter Sandman through this wah sounded like Debbie was getting very familiar with one of the more Southern states.
Enter Sandman? Ooer missus!
we found it lads, the schmexy wah for only $69.69 retail
You ever find the brand/maker?
I believe you could teach anybody, anything, with this persona !
Schank you Mischter Adamsch.
it isn't a persona.
*Should
ARSENE
This is literally the best UA-cam tutorial ever.
Shank you Mischter Henrikschen.
@@geertvanschlanger8057 The pleaschure isch all mine, if you know what I mean.
Nailed it ....if you know what I'm sayin'
Of courshe I do....
Actually, what are you shaying?
Geert Van Schlänger 😭 thé melig
When you tried to make a 70's porno music but you accidentaly made a 70's buddy cop tv show theme
Same difference really...
@@Cyclobomber the perception depends on what you spent your afternoons watching
inb4 "70's buddy cop tv show parody" porn becomes a legit catagory on pornhub
Still come back to this. Really cracks me up
Epic. No 70s "adult" movie had music _this_ cool, though. That was more the detective TV series with a black protagonist. So probably none. But this is *exactly* what they _would_ have sounded like. Great job, man!
Dang black man💪🏾🤣
actually check some Alain Goraguer's work for Brigitte Lahaie movies (French porn actress from the 70/80's) and you'll realize this music was really cool.
They say that cat Alex is a bad motherf- SHUT YOUR MOUTH, but I'm talking 'bout Alex!
So a blaxploitation film?
@@ChelseaColeslaw My first thought was, was there a difference between porno music and blaxploitation music?
Imo this has more of a Starsky and Hutch vibe.
Honestly porn music, and 70's cop music arent that different, the cop music just tends to be faster.
I thought this was a "70s piano music tutorial."
I was not disappointed.
everything ive ever learned about music making is from this one video
I had to subscribe... The commitment to the character, the double entendres, plus actual theory and chops... props!
Shank you for your shexy schubscriptions.
My brother and I would play the Debbie Does Dallis theme all the time when I was a kid. My Dad was like, I think I've heard that somewhere. We were like, yeah... From your secret VHS tape we watch everyday when you aren't here.
Debbie Doesch Dallasch is very shexy.
I've heard, but I've never watsched porn.
@@geertvanschlanger8057 I'm not allowed to watch it. so if you see it tell me how it plays out,
I once recorded it on bass with an envelope filter and sent it to my brother. He texted me back “Debbie Does Dallas, shower scene.” Perverts. All of us.
Instructions unclear, I'm now Kirk Hammet.
It'sh a common problem. Try shome creamsh.
strum up! UP!
I don't think people would wanna do to that lol
so I guess this explains why everyone accuses me of just making porno music all the time.
Your mushik isch alwaysch porno to me Mischter Mootsch.
best type of music
becouse of Wah... Wah is to sexy for them these days.
I don't even play an instrument. I don't even know how I got here. But I am entirely pleased by this content.
DUDE!!! You brought this to a WHOLE other level. Man, that intro blew me away!!!!!!
Dutch Jeff Lynne.
Hallo ELO.
That's exactly what I thought, too. Haha
@@XavierRadix I know, right? I Can't Get It Out Of My Head. This character has a Strange Magic, that way. But he's behind the times. Doesn't he know that Rock And Roll Is King? But I guess you gotta Hold On Tight To Your Dreams, yes?
@@wingflanagan when people capitalise their words randomly in strange ways I always look for a hidden message in the capitalised letters.
Last train to 70’s
Great grooves, Geert. You've inspired me to power up my studio and play with myself all afternoon (not necessarily in that order).
Have funsch Mischter Robinschon.
I've seen a lot of stuff on the internet, but this got me off-guard. Pure gold from the start to the end.
Shank you shexy viewer.
Congratulations Geert Van Schlänger, you have officially won the internet!
I love that this has the most innuendo and double entendre of any music tutorial video I've ever watched!
Nice recreation of an amazing effort by talented musicians back in the day to create an awesome soundtrack that just ends up getting MUTED so no one in the next room knows what you are watching 😆
MrShiffles
Hahahahaha I fucking love you 🤣😂😂😂😂
Underrated comment here folks!
As a dutchy myself, I approve of Geert. That's why we want *more Geert* in the future. Goed bezig, kerel. :P
Anyways, fantaschtic tutorial!
Thanksch Mischter Raydicks.
I am approving of you too.
Geert Van Schlänger 😂😭🤣🤣🤣💥
We can never have enough Dunglish in our lives. It's not completely accurate of course, but it's the best imitation I have ever heard from an Englishman. Ga vooral door zo, Alex. 😊
Nearly half a million budding 70’s porn composers have been here
Boy oh boy. Now that I have seen the whole masterpiece: subscribed.
The production value is encredible: outfit, color grading, stills, etc. Loving it!
Shank you shexy schubscriber.
UA-cam recommendations have really peaked here. This is it.
The isolated clarinet/rhythm guitar at 14:20 is orgasmic. Really highlights the beautiful funky grooves of that era.
"YEAH BABY YEAH!"
-Austin Powers
"so that you can play with yourself" - this alone resulted in a like... 😁
Schank you for schticking your thumb up (if you know what I'm schaying)
12:55 If you have no release, you might have to self-oscillate.
Geert Van Schlänger sounds a lot like Cameron Britton (Hazel from Umbrella Academy, etc) to me. Love it!
All these years on UA-cam... I've finally found "the" video... The only one you need.
As a music lover I can honestly say that the porno's with the funky music are the best ones
Amazing. Having a horrid day at work and this really cheered me up.
Nicesh to hear. I am glad you are cheered up shexy viewer.
I'm simply impressed that you (ahem) "kept up" that fake Dutch accent.
I love your channel. Crazy British humor, and synths, what more could you need in life. Oh of course, I forgot women too.
It’s about time someone made this video, I’ve been trying to find this kind of video for so long
Thank you I've been trying to write the music for a hypothetical Wii Porn Channel and this will help a lot
Isch Wii Porn for midgetsch?
If you’re legit, send me the final upload
For research purposes of course...
Oh no.
Best of luck on your holy quest
I’ve been looking for something like this for a year but I gave up 9 months in. Thanks!
Now I want a flute solo to go with it. I just started one in my mind when the song climaxed.
This is just incredible. A new level! I’ve been open mouth grinning and laughing all the way. This will get many revisits as there’s so many little nuggetsh in there, sho I would like to clean them all out, if you know what I meansh?
I've been looking for this my whole life 🤩
I was already in the moment, but when you popped your ARP out I came to realise this was a quality again.
Schank you Mischter Grants.
The Odyschey is a very schexy schintesizer.
When he popped out his ARP, i came
I would 100% buy an entire album of this if you made it, Geert. I know you’ve an expert and all but I have to say that the quality and sound is amazingly spot on 👌🏼
Schank you Tuna Schrollsch for your shexy commetsch.
Shexy shexy music! Also how did I get here?
This channel has great content. Keeping a joke going and still be informative for real is no joke. I longed for a vibraslap, but in all other aspects full points for execution.
You are the best man. Everything, from the music itself, to the video, you talking... Brilliant!
Hah, I can only imagine how long this video took to put together, considering keeping in character and all. Unless, of course, Geert is a well rehearsed alternative persona/party trick :-)
Great content, though, as always. Keep it coming, with or without Geert! :-)
And seeing a Junkie XL video a bit later on the day, hearing him say “and we’re gonna shtick it in here” got another dimension! :-D
Mischter Tomsch from the Junkies of the XLsch is very shexy.
Hahaha. We can't all sound like Frans Timmermans. But take a listen to Legowelt when he's reviewing Roland Boutique D-05. That's Dunglish in optima forma.
"What kinda music you into?"
...
70s porno music...
The German band Can made their first record as a soundtrack for an ‘adult’ film. We call it jazzporn.
You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention
When the Coomer isn't cooming, he's making this style of music while cooming.
I love how the auto-generated are in Dutch.
Of course to really be fully in character, you'd have to add a little 8mm shutter clacking to it.
This deserves way more views. Hats off for staying in character for the whole 21 minute run time.
Schank you Quasex14
Alex best and funniest Guy i've ever seen
Loved it.. Must be a relief to do a video as yourself, rather than pretending to be that Alex guy...
lmaooo
It's been 4am! gotta get this bread at
5am no wonder why I end up watching this lol
perfect month to upload this 😂😂😂
No nutting Novembersh?
@@geertvanschlanger8057 how'd you know this would be synth porn for people?
@@theshyguy1580 Try not to get the schintesizers schticky.
I really wasn't expecting to learn something from this video. :)
OH MY GOD I learned the baseline like a year ago and I forgot about this video and recently have been playing the baseline as a fill by muscle memory and I’m SO GLAD I FOUND THIS AGAIN 😂😫
I'm glad this got recommended to me
I know I’m a little late to the the party but....
*knock knock*
“Did somebody order a pepperoni pizza with EXTRA pepperoni?😉
*18:56*
"Gutten tag, I am ze pizza dealer, and I heard some frau here wanted some pizza...vith extra schlöng. But I don't have ze change to spare..." (chaka whacka whacka, chaka whacka whacka, chaka whacka whacka)
That was some real funky goodness. Thanks for supplying the files.
Dude, I just found your channel and have been watching all of your videos. I honestly think you are my favorite musician at the moment. If the world ever returns to normal and you make it to Tokyo I’d love to buy you a beer and pick your brain about a bazillion things. Anyway, thanks for all the inspiration.
I might have just impregnated my right hand
Thomas Africa Betcha it was that no good unemployed left hand...
This got me rolling in my chair.
If you know what I'm saying.
Yesh ❤️
ure a cool guy that for sure,... ;) makes me wanna be creative again
Shank you. Schtay shexy.
That's baby makin' music right there.
I think this is now officially the best channel on UA-cam (as if it wasn’t already)
Shank you shexy Jakesch.
"A lot of people make love to the sound of the synthesizer".
I would like that on a t-shirt 🤩
25 years ago a friend asked me to write a 70s porn riff I used the same chords similar riff grooves. I am quite chuffed that I was on the right track we called the riff moustache 😂
Sexcellent work Mischter shexy Rex. Moustache isch a great title for shexy musics.
Hoping you kept your wrischt watch and schocks on!
It's almost too sophisticated for porn music, I love it
Watching this again, I love all the jazz chords from the Mickey Baker book
man, this is THE tutorial i didn't know i needed, but i NEEDED this in my life!
18:57 ; for anyone who wants to listen to this BANGER on repeat
Geert sounds like Goldmember, "if you know what I'm schaying".
“How much wahwah do you want from your guitar?”
Alex Ball: *Y e s*
That's Gert Van Schlänger to you.
Geert: yesh
We need more wah and more cowbell...
This is absolutely brilliant! Funny, informative and you're a legit genius. 90s house vid next.
Production quality far exceeds its purpose and I love it.
And the delivery of these inneundos is perfect hahaha
the good old days of the unshaven bush.
i like that i can see “70s porno music” and know EXACTLY what it’s gonna sound like
Of coursche you do shexy viewer.
I keep thinking of Gold Member and his accent from the Austin Powers films lol
Please make more Geert Van Schlänger videos!!! We love it
I will be back for more schexy videosch.
Absolutely F a n tastic Alex. Hugh effort that must have been . Especially maintaining the accent impression. Always love your videos. Well done.