not everyone is for everyone... just believe that there is someone better for you, and live accordingly to that. There is always someone better for you.. always
Yes, they lost interest. They weren't abducted by aliens, or decided to explore the Amazon basin. Something went wrong to a degree that the guy has no hope of fixing it. This is likely to happen early during courtship, so you really can't even break up. Trying to salvage something that hasn't really started is a losing proposition.
I wonder what percentage of this scenario includes people that are tired of being the only one chasing and they want to see if the person that they have been chasing even cares.
Good point. And that’s why toward the end of the clip I brought up the fact of “assumptions.“ And that if anything had seemed off in the relationship, or perhaps they thought the other person wasn’t interested… That would be the perfect time to reach out and express those sentiments. The specific cases that I have dealt with, my clients’ first reaction was to pick up the slack and do the work for them; calling, texting, inviting out, pursuing, making a point to like their posts on social media, etc. That is a very clear indication of interest
I've experienced this with males, I find they flip their options and minds so easily. This is why I don't ever chase and let them be the one to initiate the communication. This strategy helps me with the healing process once they decide to back off from the friendship/relationship. That's how I keep strong 💪
Hi Susan, yet another empowering message, thank you! 🙌🏽 As a dating and relationship coach, I graciously accept your invitation to share my thoughts. I too am noticing the same waves with my clients and feel that asynchronous communication has given rise to such unhealthy, disconnecting tendencies. Effective communication is a key area I focus on in my coaching, especially to keep it H.O.T. = Honest, Open and Transparent. Happy Independence Day for tomorrow! 🌷🙏🏽💜
Teresha! Thank you for this commentary. I love hearing from one of my colleagues. I have noticed times when my client call share the same topic- different events, but the same upshot of getting stuck in a loop of obsession because someone was pursuing them and stopped. I’d love to work with you again. I just don’t like shooting in my New York City apartment. But let’s stay in communication.
@SusanWinter You're welcome - I very much enjoy and respect your work! I totally hear the part about obsession, and it can cause so much anxiety and unrest. Like you have beautifully guided the viewers in this video, it's important to bring it back to what's within our 'circle of control.' It would be an absolute delight to work with you again! I'm looking forward to that time and will send you an email to keep the comms flowing 🌷🙏🏽💜
I want people to remember that it is the dream we saw in our mind when we met this person that activated all of our emotional attachment. We can replace the person and still fulfill the dream with someone who is a good partner and allows us to have a healthy relationship.
These waves are happening because people are not taking breaks and healing from previous relationship wounds and using the next person to heal them and hurting them and the wave just keeps on getting bigger.
For me, I think it is important to somehow wear my heart on my sleeve and as accurate as I could, talk about my intentions why I am dating the person, but also knowing full well that maintaining a healthy relationship entails hard work. If they could not match that, I’ll downgrade it to friendship level. I won’t waste my future and precious time holding on to people who are unsure and cannot appreciate what I have to offer.
How about doing this after being in a relationship?? They said all the nice things got me hooked, got intimate and now no msg since 10 days!! Like how can anybody do that!!
Oh my goodness, I wish I could tell you I have never heard this story before, but I have. I had a client who was ghosted by her four year partner that she was going to marry. No fight. No breakup convo. Bad dating behavior such as this can even happen in a long-standing relationship. I am so sorry for you.
@@hushpuppies872 much appreciated hush puppy. I recognize your handle from the live shows. I think I’ll start those back up in October. I appreciate you coming to this channel.
The question is also whether the guy thought he was being in a relationship. I once made it to a six month anniversary without knowing I was in one. (A very awkward discussion.)
@@larsf.4756 wow it's like sleeping with someone and saying you didn't know you had a child together. Just goes to show how much he was really involved. This is men!!
I love your honest and direct advice Susan! It’s so helpful and encouraging. Exactly what I need to hear, it’s exhausting putting in effort when it’s not reciprocated. It’s important to recognise these signs and to move on to someone who values you and most importantly matches words with actions!
Absolutely I speak about this like a car that’s running on empty. You’ve been running and running and running taking care of them and putting effort into it and they’ve put nothing in your tank. That’s the time you know that you’re in the wrong relationship.
Thanks for your work Susan. Please do a thought piece on why a pathetic but very large category of shallow men trip on the conquest to bed you and as soon as they do, they bail without explanation, become vindictive, ghost and run to someone else all the while pretending you don’t exist and never mattered. Thank you.
There is no reason to chase anyone...those relationships aren't very grounded. That mindfulness book called 30 Days to Stop Apologizing by Harper Daniels was helpful for me.
I love reading this comment and I get this on most every video that I produce. We are all in sync. I’m grateful that you have found the information you needed and thank you so much for writing me.
Thank you Susan! So many clients have been looking for the “other door“- some different answer than the one I gave them. But the only way out of the loop, is to see that it’s a dead end.
Hi Clara. This is a specialty area, and I only have a general knowledge. I would refer you to those who specialize in this. I think the issue is far greater sociologically. There is a general tendency overall for individuals to not want to commit to a relationship. And this is a blanket statement for what I see going on. The individual within this non-commitment structure may be a dismissive avoidant. But your best option is to walk away.
Yes, they probably will. they’re getting bored, not meeting the right people, or just had a curiosity and decide to test the waters of your interest. They will do the exact same thing the second time around.---UNLESS--they have had a profound and dramatic, spiritual transformation; got sober, went to therapy, had a major breakdown… And discovered that they had had horrible behavior and are intent upon proving to you they are a new person
But this is only the smallest percentage of people. And they begin with profound and meaningful apology from the heart. They acknowledge and take responsibility for all that they did wrong and seek to win back your admiration and trust.
Hey Susan I love your channel, as a man do you have any recommendations for finding women that are looking for something serious? Iv'e been on dating apps and they seem so barren and finding a woman that's looking for something long-term seems difficult.
Oh my goodness, all I know, and interact with our women who are looking for something serious. So I'm confused by the fickle nature of what you're finding. I would start with person group events that you truly like. Whether it's an alumni meeting, or it's a meet up of something, you enjoy learning about, a hobby, a seminar, lecture, class,.... You just have to expand your horizons beyond dating apps because now they are proliferated with bots and scammers
@@SusanWinter Thank you. That makes perfect sense and people tell me to go out and socialize more in groups. It can be difficult as an introvert, but I think you are correct.
not everyone is for everyone... just believe that there is someone better for you, and live accordingly to that. There is always someone better for you.. always
Great advice, bar. As my friend used to say “there is lid for every pot”
Yes, they lost interest. They weren't abducted by aliens, or decided to explore the Amazon basin. Something went wrong to a degree that the guy has no hope of fixing it. This is likely to happen early during courtship, so you really can't even break up. Trying to salvage something that hasn't really started is a losing proposition.
@@larsf.4756 your analysis is absolutely correct. Additionally, no alien abduction was an excuse.😂
I wonder what percentage of this scenario includes people that are tired of being the only one chasing and they want to see if the person that they have been chasing even cares.
Good point. And that’s why toward the end of the clip I brought up the fact of “assumptions.“ And that if anything had seemed off in the relationship, or perhaps they thought the other person wasn’t interested… That would be the perfect time to reach out and express those sentiments. The specific cases that I have dealt with, my clients’ first reaction was to pick up the slack and do the work for them; calling, texting, inviting out, pursuing, making a point to like their posts on social media, etc. That is a very clear indication of interest
I've experienced this with males, I find they flip their options and minds so easily. This is why I don't ever chase and let them be the one to initiate the communication. This strategy helps me with the healing process once they decide to back off from the friendship/relationship. That's how I keep strong 💪
Cleopetra- sounds like you have found a system that works for you
@@SusanWinter yes, especially when you have suffered enough.. You gota have a strategy.
@@cleopetra87 Yes, exactly
Hi Susan, yet another empowering message, thank you! 🙌🏽
As a dating and relationship coach, I graciously accept your invitation to share my thoughts.
I too am noticing the same waves with my clients and feel that asynchronous communication has given rise to such unhealthy, disconnecting tendencies.
Effective communication is a key area I focus on in my coaching, especially to keep it H.O.T. = Honest, Open and Transparent.
Happy Independence Day for tomorrow! 🌷🙏🏽💜
Teresha! Thank you for this commentary. I love hearing from one of my colleagues. I have noticed times when my client call share the same topic- different events, but the same upshot of getting stuck in a loop of obsession because someone was pursuing them and stopped. I’d love to work with you again. I just don’t like shooting in my New York City apartment. But let’s stay in communication.
@SusanWinter You're welcome - I very much enjoy and respect your work!
I totally hear the part about obsession, and it can cause so much anxiety and unrest. Like you have beautifully guided the viewers in this video, it's important to bring it back to what's within our 'circle of control.'
It would be an absolute delight to work with you again! I'm looking forward to that time and will send you an email to keep the comms flowing 🌷🙏🏽💜
Love that you are wearing the message on your t-shirt Susan!👍❤️
I want people to remember that it is the dream we saw in our mind when we met this person that activated all of our emotional attachment. We can replace the person and still fulfill the dream with someone who is a good partner and allows us to have a healthy relationship.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤!!!!!
These waves are happening because people are not taking breaks and healing from previous relationship wounds and using the next person to heal them and hurting them and the wave just keeps on getting bigger.
For me, I think it is important to somehow wear my heart on my sleeve and as accurate as I could, talk about my intentions why I am dating the person, but also knowing full well that maintaining a healthy relationship entails hard work. If they could not match that, I’ll downgrade it to friendship level. I won’t waste my future and precious time holding on to people who are unsure and cannot appreciate what I have to offer.
Sounds like a fantastic system!
How about doing this after being in a relationship?? They said all the nice things got me hooked, got intimate and now no msg since 10 days!! Like how can anybody do that!!
Oh my goodness, I wish I could tell you I have never heard this story before, but I have. I had a client who was ghosted by her four year partner that she was going to marry. No fight. No breakup convo. Bad dating behavior such as this can even happen in a long-standing relationship. I am so sorry for you.
@@SusanWinter Thank you so much Susan for your response. Your videos are very helpful and almost like a dating Bible. You are always right.
@@hushpuppies872 much appreciated hush puppy. I recognize your handle from the live shows. I think I’ll start those back up in October. I appreciate you coming to this channel.
The question is also whether the guy thought he was being in a relationship. I once made it to a six month anniversary without knowing I was in one. (A very awkward discussion.)
@@larsf.4756 wow it's like sleeping with someone and saying you didn't know you had a child together. Just goes to show how much he was really involved. This is men!!
I love your honest and direct advice Susan! It’s so helpful and encouraging. Exactly what I need to hear, it’s exhausting putting in effort when it’s not reciprocated. It’s important to recognise these signs and to move on to someone who values you and most importantly matches words with actions!
Absolutely I speak about this like a car that’s running on empty. You’ve been running and running and running taking care of them and putting effort into it and they’ve put nothing in your tank. That’s the time you know that you’re in the wrong relationship.
Perfectly timed video 💯
Spot on as always ❤
GLENDA!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤Wonderful to hear from you. Big electronic hug!
Big hug back ❤
@@glendamaierDanke!!
Thanks for this video Susan. I will keep coming back to watching this to remind myself.
Happy to have you join this channel. Keep coming back.!!
Thanks for your work Susan. Please do a thought piece on why a pathetic but very large category of shallow men trip on the conquest to bed you and as soon as they do, they bail without explanation, become vindictive, ghost and run to someone else all the while pretending you don’t exist and never mattered. Thank you.
There is no reason to chase anyone...those relationships aren't very grounded. That mindfulness book called 30 Days to Stop Apologizing by Harper Daniels was helpful for me.
I agree and thank you for the resource referral
Great topic and video once again❤ somehow topics always seem to come at the right time 😅 almost like I had made reguest
I love reading this comment and I get this on most every video that I produce. We are all in sync. I’m grateful that you have found the information you needed and thank you so much for writing me.
Wise words as ever Susan.
Thank you. x
Thank you Susan! So many clients have been looking for the “other door“- some different answer than the one I gave them. But the only way out of the loop, is to see that it’s a dead end.
Looking good Susan. Can you please do a video on a dismissive avoidant. I find a lot of dating issues stem from avoidant attachment styles
Hi Clara. This is a specialty area, and I only have a general knowledge. I would refer you to those who specialize in this. I think the issue is far greater sociologically. There is a general tendency overall for individuals to not want to commit to a relationship. And this is a blanket statement for what I see going on. The individual within this non-commitment structure may be a dismissive avoidant. But your best option is to walk away.
@@SusanWinter that’s exactly what I’ve done and beginning to heal myself
@@SusanWinter this what I precisely have done and now my healing have begun
Adam Lane Smith, he has a YT channel and he is very good about that subject... I learned a lot
@@bar9849 yes I watched
Great video Susan, very informative 👏👏
Thank you cBarry
What if they reach out in a few months, asking you on a date?
Yes, they probably will. they’re getting bored, not meeting the right people, or just had a curiosity and decide to test the waters of your interest. They will do the exact same thing the second time around.---UNLESS--they have had a profound and dramatic, spiritual transformation; got sober, went to therapy, had a major breakdown… And discovered that they had had horrible behavior and are intent upon proving to you they are a new person
But this is only the smallest percentage of people. And they begin with profound and meaningful apology from the heart. They acknowledge and take responsibility for all that they did wrong and seek to win back your admiration and trust.
Thanks for this video
You are beautiful btw also ❤
Thank you, Tony. Much appreciated.
Hey Susan I love your channel, as a man do you have any recommendations for finding women that are looking for something serious? Iv'e been on dating apps and they seem so barren and finding a woman that's looking for something long-term seems difficult.
Oh my goodness, all I know, and interact with our women who are looking for something serious. So I'm confused by the fickle nature of what you're finding. I would start with person group events that you truly like. Whether it's an alumni meeting, or it's a meet up of something, you enjoy learning about, a hobby, a seminar, lecture, class,.... You just have to expand your horizons beyond dating apps because now they are proliferated with bots and scammers
@@SusanWinter Thank you. That makes perfect sense and people tell me to go out and socialize more in groups. It can be difficult as an introvert, but I think you are correct.
Ever elusive hope……..lol
Exactly. 😊
Put hair more down