The heart wants what it wants (but is dumb AF) - How to stop repeating the same mistakes

#datingadvice #relationships #attachmentstyles #rocd #toxicrelationships
A discussion of what to do if you find yourself continually drawn towards toxic relationships and rejecting healthy ones

[@andymholt]

Great video Chris, I love the “eat your vegetables” analogy

[@sairaphilip437]

I think it comes down to timing and emotional maturity. When people truly are at a place where they value and are ready for a healthy, stable relationship they are likely to be open minded and willing to ride out the unexciting phases. I like the analogy of learning to appreciate vegetables. You need to get to the mindset of wanting to have a healthy, balanced diet in the first place. Not easy to get there and stick with it.
The question I have is how do you know the difference between settling in a relationship vs choosing someone that is good for you? I think people often confuse eating vegtables with settling because of the lack of that dopamine hit. I think this might be especially difficult to distinguish when you have a trauma lens and want to break out of it.
I would love for this to be a separate video topic if it hasn't been covered already.

[@nielsds2271]

A question: Can you make a video for single fathers out there? Would be curious to here your thoughts. I'm looking for a new partner as a single father but I feel so empty all the time. Guilt towards my son , that's what I feel

[@andymholt]

Chin up @nielsds2271 it will get easier, and you can let the guilt go

[@busybecomingmyself]

I'm not yet a father myself but I'll see what I can do. Maybe a collaboration with someone with personal experience.