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Tom B. - AA Speaker - "Emotional Sobriety" and 12-Step Alcoholism Recovery

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  • Опубліковано 6 січ 2017
  • Awesome share by one of the best AA speakers, Tom B. This is perhaps the BEST talk on the topic of "emotional sobriety" I have ever heard! MUST LISTEN! :) From the book Alcoholics Anonymous: "In spite of the great increase in the size and span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope."
    Addiction treatment WORKS! The Twelve Step Model has been utilized as a treatment for alcohol abuse and alcoholism since 1935. It is extremely important to know that help IS out there and addiction recovery is possible. If you are battling alcoholism, drug addiction, addiction or any other form of addictive behavior, there are people who know EXACTLY what it is like!
    You can find out more at: www.aa.org - Alcoholics Anonymous Official Site - As should be blatantly obvious, we are in no way affiliated with them or any other Twelve Step Program. We are just looking to provide hope to those suffering from alcoholism or addiction.
    It is important to note there are several ways for one to address his or her alcohol abuse treatment. Substance abuse is a very serious condition and has become an epidemic in today's world. Many people suffering with substance abuse need treatment, such as inpatient stays, rehab, or counseling. The importance and purpose of this video, and all our other videos, is to show that recovery IS possible and to give hope to those who are struggling with alcohol and drug addiction issues. Help IS out there!
    Every tape is carefully selected to ensure its quality and that it is entertaining to listen to. You can trust Odomtology 12-Step Recovery Media to be synonymous with the best online recovery material out there. QUALITY is our mission. This is why we have such a large and engaged following. Have fun and enjoy listening to the amazing, wonderful, and powerful recovery speakers!
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    Namaste, friends and blessings to all! :)
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 134

  • @tomr4376
    @tomr4376 2 роки тому +64

    It took me 15 years in AA to finally surrender to God and to work this program fully I never drank since I come in but I certainly never had emotional sobriety, with the help of my God I now know what emotional sobriety feels like, hang in there guys it does get better.

    • @BoEmery
      @BoEmery Рік тому +3

      Thanks for sharing this Tom. It's been difficult for me as well. God bless. 🙏

    • @michealjones2166
      @michealjones2166 Рік тому +2

      Tom Michael from Daytona beach day 73 loved your messenge

    • @oo0itsmaria
      @oo0itsmaria 5 місяців тому +2

      Same… took me 12.5 years and I paid dearly for it. Never drank but the suffering was the same..

    • @katherineelm7045
      @katherineelm7045 2 місяці тому +2

      Wow, Nicola aratula Qld Australia
      7 yrs. Totally identify
      Listen to this over and over
      Much warmth and sunshine too U. America xo AA

    • @estanneque
      @estanneque 18 днів тому +1

      Thank you brother! I'm exactly at that point now. It's hard and hurts, really, to do that major surrender. God bless you and you all 🙏

  • @jkls36912
    @jkls36912 5 місяців тому +10

    This is one of the most descriptive recovery literature speakers in all circuit speakers. 🔥

  • @ericcatlett6486
    @ericcatlett6486 3 роки тому +20

    I wrote this down in a notebook - WORD FOR WORD - in a notebook. I credit this breakdown for much of my serenity today. 7+ yrs sober.

    • @KCee-lm3jd
      @KCee-lm3jd 3 роки тому

      Would you send me a copy please sir?

  • @kencress3665
    @kencress3665 Рік тому +9

    I'm back to day one, there's been way too many day ones, I'm 60 years old thinking if I could go back in time and never drink or use drugs the misery I would have spared others and myself, reminded if I had God's power to change everything I would change so many things, if I had his wisdom I wouldn't change a thing, God reminded me I never have to drink or use again spare others to misery and myself, Lord let me pick up my cross and follow you daily

  • @BoEmery
    @BoEmery Рік тому +5

    Perfectionism is among the worst & most self-destructive characteristic. It's part of why my father committed suicide 40 years after dropping out from a full academic scholarship to Princeton. He couldn't deal with the potential success he might have, then of dropping out & losing the opportunity. Perfectionism has been my own lifelong struggle as well.

  • @tjbreen3819
    @tjbreen3819 2 роки тому +18

    I have listened to this multiple times and it hits different each time! I am so grateful for alcoholics anonymous!

  • @riverthecat
    @riverthecat 3 місяці тому +2

    Lost at 24 years in the fellowship..this is my second day since relationship break up (painfull)...this talk has showed me so much...l was trying to build a jumbe jet with no tools no skills no help, and l didn't know it..
    Thank you Tom, thank you God..can l begin again, feeling hopefull ..
    Ricky

    • @davidmcguire4706
      @davidmcguire4706 3 місяці тому

      11 days here. Had 5 years up, 17 years ago. May God be with you, Ricky.

  • @meetjillee3694
    @meetjillee3694 4 роки тому +58

    Oh my god. This is so exactly how I’ve been feeling- I’m at the end of my fourth year of recovery and hitting so many bottoms of depression even though I’m doing everything I’m “supposed” to be doing for AA.. thank you for this tape. You’ve helped me so much today. I really needed this today

    • @sandraguerrero5514
      @sandraguerrero5514 3 роки тому

      Awesome I love this!!

    • @johnnylinden6934
      @johnnylinden6934 2 роки тому

      Hi Jillie,same boat. My wife is walking out on me. I wish I heard this before i strayed from God so far

  • @Shadow2084
    @Shadow2084 7 років тому +86

    When one can't get out due to the weather or sickness or whatever - these e-meetings are priceless. Thank you so much for making them available!

    • @BrianKolb71
      @BrianKolb71 7 років тому +14

      Charles they are charles im on my 3rd year without alcohol

    • @darrenrhinehardt3357
      @darrenrhinehardt3357 3 роки тому +1

      Thank U for shareing the insight for self hate and spiritual awakening with Sobriety. I share

  • @BeardedBushMan81
    @BeardedBushMan81 3 роки тому +7

    I had the 5 year menopause and relapsed. It is exactly how he described it. Everything outside of myself was going the best it had ever been but I was absolutely fucking miserable. And I drank.
    Back in recovery but feeling those emotional hangovers, so glad this video was shared with me. So thankful for AA and those who are doing the deal and sharing their experience and hope with the rest of us.

  • @user-lh9to1ju6y
    @user-lh9to1ju6y Рік тому +2

    Almost 3y sober, I did change me, with work on program, change my life, fought my demons sober.....and changed the life of the ones around me... AA I'm grateful.

  • @notablemusician
    @notablemusician 4 роки тому +23

    Thanks Tom B I'm 22 years sober, still working at it and ever willing and open to the message carried with this sincerity and quality. I recently doubled up my Step work but I realize that that's not all I need to do for growth in my emotional sobriety. I'm currently reading "Addiction And Grace" by Gerald May and it's helping me to identify the myriad ways I'm enslaved through attachments and addictions, not just to alcohol or other chemicals which is beyond cure and can only be treated daily by abstinence.
    My other many addictions include being right and attached to expectations I have of many different things and outcomes leading to depression when things don't go as planned.
    "Let go and let God" is a big leap into spiritual sobriety and it's right there in AA literature, steps and recommended work only every time I read I see stuff I missed and I know that the only way is practice and more practice bringing me progress while God, with my help, takes care of the rest.

    • @biglee3107
      @biglee3107 4 роки тому +2

      Thank you for posting my friend 🙏

  • @ThomasFurino777
    @ThomasFurino777 5 років тому +19

    I have been in the Fellowship of AA since 1976 Alateen I have experienced several periods of what I called Longterm Sobriety, So I thought ? I have slipped 3 times with over 5 years dry every time doing the absolute best I can I threw in the towel Tom you saved my life today their is no worse feeling than not having emotional sobriety...Thanks

  • @joyconnell1318
    @joyconnell1318 3 роки тому +15

    Praise God for this beautiful message! You have definitely helped me today. Awareness, honesty, and compassion to all including myself. Not relying on another human being to solve my problem but I alone have within me the ability and forgive and give. You are a true gentleman ❤️

  • @christophermency7965
    @christophermency7965 7 років тому +39

    You have just described how I have been feeling and behaving for most of my life. Thank you! I have been working on myself..Awareness and Acceptance, then I continue to work towards being a better me..

    • @joanneolderich8268
      @joanneolderich8268 6 років тому

      Wonderful talk!!! Thank you !

    • @christophervaughn3770
      @christophervaughn3770 5 років тому +1

      Christopher Mency thank you for being honest!!! God will bless this honestly brother!!!!

    • @Mandalas12
      @Mandalas12 2 роки тому

      Take the steps 🤔

  • @wscspooky
    @wscspooky 3 роки тому +32

    I had never heard of emotional unsoberness and it wowed me. it seemed like this guy was describing me and my behaviors down to a tee.

    • @lukeharris7488
      @lukeharris7488 3 роки тому +1

      Same

    • @blaqpharaoh7732
      @blaqpharaoh7732 2 роки тому

      Me to for sure

    • @Mandalas12
      @Mandalas12 2 роки тому +3

      Grab a big book which is AA. Page 52, the bedevilments.

    • @wscspooky
      @wscspooky 2 роки тому

      @@Mandalas12 thank you. I still have my first big book. I will definitely read it.

  • @exdemlatina6487
    @exdemlatina6487 5 років тому +11

    I can see now I lost my emotional sobriety at almost 13 years- & I drank. I’m grateful I was only out there 7 days. 7 horrific days. Wish there was another way for me to stay sober but I haven’t found one either so I think will just stay

  • @rodsprague
    @rodsprague 3 роки тому +8

    Fantastic. I have to echo what so many others have already said, "This is me." I would go so far as to say it's many people, not just alcoholics. I am an alcoholic, coming up to 5 years of sobriety and so much of this talk rings true to me it's frightening. Its also liberating, a great talk.

  • @mf.p.c.6766
    @mf.p.c.6766 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you tom b. AA legend

  • @patriciabritton6114
    @patriciabritton6114 4 роки тому +9

    So needed to hear this tonite. Thank you Tom B for sharing your wisdom & experience & reminding me at the end " be gentle with yourself"

  • @michellek2946
    @michellek2946 3 роки тому +11

    I have been almost 5 years sober 3 different times. Each time this emotional unsoberness took me out! I am so grateful
    To know this. I’m a little over 4 and going through it again. I want to move through this to the other side. Thank you Tom

    • @user-ej1fc7yn1j
      @user-ej1fc7yn1j Рік тому

      Checking in - how’s it going over there?

    • @michellek2946
      @michellek2946 Рік тому +1

      @@user-ej1fc7yn1j still. sober. 5 years, 9 months! This year has been one of the hardest but the one with the most growth. Have to watch out for unsoberness!!! Lol

    • @user-ej1fc7yn1j
      @user-ej1fc7yn1j Рік тому

      @@michellek2946 same here 100% on the same page - great news God bless

    • @youarewhatyourelookingfor4496
      @youarewhatyourelookingfor4496 Рік тому

      @@michellek2946 🎉😊
      Keep coming back

  • @anitamdtuck
    @anitamdtuck 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you I have been sober for a year doing all the things, and couldn't figure out what was still wrong why. I know today as I answered yes to all the questions of self hate, and I am fortunate enough the person I love the most (me), still be here and able to identify the problem and ask for help. Thank you God thank you for being the AA meeting I opened this morning, I am loved

  • @candiceyoung1509
    @candiceyoung1509 4 роки тому +19

    Excellent speaker. Really needed to hear this today. God bless you for the beautiful message.

  • @michelly0222
    @michelly0222 4 роки тому +6

    One of my all time favorite talks. Thank you ❤

  • @matthewfortuna4464
    @matthewfortuna4464 4 роки тому +3

    The greatest AA speech ever spoken

  • @stellanchemagbeck3473
    @stellanchemagbeck3473 3 роки тому +3

    It’s a powerful message. I drank heavily 3 nights a week for over 10 years. At home after work. Drinking problem, not alcoholic.

  • @GildaLee27
    @GildaLee27 7 років тому +29

    This is stunning in its insight, compassion and deep love of humanity. Real good stuff here, skillfully presented. Wow.

  • @lavendergilly5843
    @lavendergilly5843 3 роки тому +9

    7 months sober. Just found a sponsor I like, on step 4. Never did 90 in 90 because i have avoidance. Six months in i started to pray every morning. Got the urge to go to daily meetings. I found that i loved being open, unloading my shame, and im starting to feel affection for AA. Don't give up even if you feel like you're doing it like a dumbass. Keep going.
    Ps i use EA as a supplement to AA, emotions anonymous. Only requirement is a desire to be emotionally well.

    • @Mandalas12
      @Mandalas12 Рік тому +2

      No where in the AA book does it say 90 in 90? Meeting were are place to share the solution which is completion of the 12 steps and a freedom from self to work and with others!

    • @Mandalas12
      @Mandalas12 Рік тому +1

      @@Tweeterandthemonkeyman I am well! IF you were asking me. I live a free life. Focused on what I give today.

    • @RaymondRAYCE
      @RaymondRAYCE Рік тому

      ​@@Mandalas12seriously!
      share the solution ≠ unloading shame at a group level lol

    • @Mandalas12
      @Mandalas12 Рік тому

      @@RaymondRAYCE ABC Anonymous

  • @frostcustomwoodworks168
    @frostcustomwoodworks168 Рік тому +1

    6 months sober thank to a new understanding to my gos as I understand him a great sponsor and a complete surrender to this way of life I’ve found in Alcoholics Anonymous and great speakers like this I’m so grateful to hear after a hurricane and finding this when I’m struggling to love myself and instantly putting myself down when someone compliments me thank you for this I needed this to the core

  • @francismaass5173
    @francismaass5173 Рік тому +2

    38 years in and just learning this!. Thank you all for sharing this. Hugs!!!!❤

  • @davidblanck1538
    @davidblanck1538 3 роки тому +6

    Thank you for posting this. I needed some positive input and this really helped in this Covid-19 pandemic when I am cut off from most of society. One day at a time things will get better.

  • @mikeyboi27
    @mikeyboi27 3 роки тому +2

    This hit me hard yesterday. I wept when he mentioned self-hate.

  • @Durchii
    @Durchii Рік тому +1

    This may be the most beautiful talk on this channel I've ever listened to. Every negative aspect he described has been me my entire adult life.
    God bless you all.

  • @jenniferaguiar1710
    @jenniferaguiar1710 4 роки тому +2

    Thanks to an amazing person for sending me this link ND ❤✝️🙏

  • @BushRanger82
    @BushRanger82 4 роки тому +3

    One of the best talks you’ll ever hear. Fantastic

  • @krisscanlon4051
    @krisscanlon4051 3 роки тому +2

    Emotional sobriety is key. I sometimes struggle even at close to 9 years. work food lust and plain distraction/disassociation. I am always only one blank from annihilation. emotional dependencies.

  • @sircaptainMO
    @sircaptainMO 5 років тому +2

    Thank you so much for uploading this. It has truly changed my life. I started to look around for something like this but I could never find it. It was almost like he was speaking to me. You will never understand how you changed my life forever. Thank you 🙏

    • @wscspooky
      @wscspooky 3 роки тому

      I overstood what he said. I also felt like he was talking to me and he described so many behaviors I display down to a tee.

  • @tbbart6463
    @tbbart6463 3 роки тому +1

    My go to talk even after the books, talks, speeches from world renowned spiritual teachers. Humans, regardless of title or education or disease, will always be my channel in which my hp flows. Thank you all for working on the walls that block that power and wisdom so that you might help others.

  • @OriginalLHB
    @OriginalLHB 5 років тому +1

    I have heard a lot of great speaker meetings but this is one of the absolute best. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection and this gives us a great ideal to strive toward once we have a little abstinence under our belt. If you are a newcomer to AA, this is about as good as it gets. If we are based on attraction rather than promotion I can't imagine a better emissary for AA than Tom B.

  • @shaun5944
    @shaun5944 4 роки тому +2

    Amazing share and experience
    God bless you Tom B 🇬🇧

  • @bb0123
    @bb0123 10 днів тому

    Wow!! Im in my teens now,4/22/2011, got ALOT of work to do now!!! 🤦‍♀️
    Self hate is no joke. Another barrier ill be breaking down.
    Thank you!!!!
    Did i mention im 60???!!!😂

  • @bobbyrose1977
    @bobbyrose1977 5 років тому +2

    My dad loves this

  • @albertvargas7422
    @albertvargas7422 3 роки тому +3

    I was like " this is an AA guru !" Until I heard him describe the lady who's been married 8 times ! Haaa, another alcoholic just like me

  • @cindybrook0520
    @cindybrook0520 7 років тому +8

    Excellent talk. Thank you.

  • @christopherjones2572
    @christopherjones2572 4 роки тому +2

    47:12 mark, hit me like a ton of bricks..... great lead about emotional sobriety..Thanks for sharing TomB!

    • @johnmartin5899
      @johnmartin5899 4 роки тому

      Three years sober hit this little depression but start again live the life as it's meant to be we are not alone odaat

  • @paulbenton4213
    @paulbenton4213 2 роки тому

    Thank you so very much. This was an amazing talk and I am truly grateful I was somehow led to this link.

  • @susanburgess820
    @susanburgess820 3 роки тому +2

    I can so relate, and i've got 38 years. Never slipped, yet tis me.

  • @waynevendetto5803
    @waynevendetto5803 2 роки тому +4

    Wow!! My fuckin story!

  • @patriciadevito1566
    @patriciadevito1566 4 роки тому +2

    Needed to hear this ! Thank you for the message

  • @vivesur
    @vivesur 2 роки тому

    Happy Joyous and Free.... is a personal decision. Thank You

  • @hayleyb467
    @hayleyb467 2 роки тому

    thanks be to God for learning 🙏

  • @shinbonethelone
    @shinbonethelone 5 років тому +3

    I love this. completely me

  • @L.Ham23
    @L.Ham23 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you

  • @vicolaf6018
    @vicolaf6018 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you Tom. I didn’t think about sobriety on those terms.

  • @davepoling3098
    @davepoling3098 3 роки тому

    Thanks Tom, very thought provoking presentation

  • @EWt5lg5alQWLqPViO9vk
    @EWt5lg5alQWLqPViO9vk 7 років тому +5

    Great talk. Thanks for uploading.

  • @tjbreen3819
    @tjbreen3819 2 роки тому

    All I can say is wow!

  • @stevejohns1459
    @stevejohns1459 7 років тому +2

    startin to love tom b jr

  • @conker9545
    @conker9545 7 років тому +7

    really well spoken god bless :)

  • @susanburgess820
    @susanburgess820 3 роки тому

    Never heard of this. So happy i did. Thank you and subbed.

  • @lindsayjakus7809
    @lindsayjakus7809 7 років тому +1

    Thanks for the uploads 🙏🏻

  • @KrisannaMarie
    @KrisannaMarie 2 роки тому

    Such a good speech

  • @KG-ho1iu
    @KG-ho1iu 4 роки тому

    Amazing video!!!! It really spoke right to me.

  • @katieelson8666
    @katieelson8666 4 роки тому

    Thank you for this. ❤️

  • @stop5gnowandrespectlife394
    @stop5gnowandrespectlife394 3 роки тому +1

    That which is alive is warm and flexible. That which is dead is hard and stiff.

  • @rosemarywilliams1194
    @rosemarywilliams1194 4 роки тому

    Awesome it reinforces what's already being said by my sponsor

  • @sabrinagarcia4269
    @sabrinagarcia4269 2 роки тому +1

    That funny when he said don't you critize me that's my job

  • @chase1114
    @chase1114 Рік тому +2

    God please show me how to surrender to you permanently

  • @gsmusicentertainment7106
    @gsmusicentertainment7106 Рік тому +2

  • @recoverykonie407
    @recoverykonie407 3 роки тому

    So good.

  • @Anthony-jo1go
    @Anthony-jo1go 2 роки тому

    This is fantastic…do yourself a favour and have a listen 💪🙏

  • @thomassaehler9038
    @thomassaehler9038 2 роки тому

    Fantastic

  • @tinaz23
    @tinaz23 6 років тому +9

    This is codependency!

    • @krisscanlon4051
      @krisscanlon4051 3 роки тому

      ACA and dysfunctional families addressed this as well, and its also knowns as para-alcoholism.

  • @lancegriffin8096
    @lancegriffin8096 Рік тому +2

    Right ideals either give you life or your delusions will leave you living a lie. Uncover, discover and discard. My sponsor knows the whole truth, not half truths about me.

  • @rowanfrancis9011
    @rowanfrancis9011 3 роки тому +1

    Intention don't help those affected

  • @elizabethclark4722
    @elizabethclark4722 6 місяців тому

    Does anyone know who Bob is that he continues to refer to? :-)

  • @JenkHouse411
    @JenkHouse411 6 років тому +2

    Anyone catch the name of the book he mentions in the beginning? Sounded like afeelakolia

    • @sethsherwin5957
      @sethsherwin5957 6 років тому +5

      The book he references is the Philokalia - a text used by the Eastern Orthodox Church. Writings of the Desert Fathers. 👍🏻

    • @JenkHouse411
      @JenkHouse411 6 років тому +1

      Seth Sherwin thank you sir.

    • @Mandalas12
      @Mandalas12 5 років тому +1

      Seth Sherwin thanks

  • @riverdriftflyfishing1831
    @riverdriftflyfishing1831 5 місяців тому

    Testeklees❤❤❤

  • @davidepperson2376
    @davidepperson2376 Рік тому

    What’s the name of the quote ancient book” he refers to at the five minute mark?

  • @odinthegamer1564
    @odinthegamer1564 6 років тому +1

    Fantastic tape

    • @fireball422
      @fireball422 6 років тому

      I thank you for your talk it's been very good

  • @mgagarin68
    @mgagarin68 6 років тому +2

    Did this speaker ever right a book or put together a workbook on this topic?

    • @jeffaldridge6447
      @jeffaldridge6447 6 років тому +2

      Mark Gagarin yes You can order A thirst for wholeness online

    • @joanneolderich8268
      @joanneolderich8268 6 років тому +1

      Jeff Aldridge Do you know the authors full name? Joanne

    • @jeffaldridge6447
      @jeffaldridge6447 6 років тому +2

      joanne olderich Tom Brady Jr.

    • @marshafisch
      @marshafisch 5 років тому

      Battle Tested thank you for the question... Jeff thank you for the answer. I have just put it in my "wish list" on Amazon. While I am 24 years sober I just bottomed out in regards to my EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY! In search of doing some serious work in this area. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of the wreckage of the present because of these issues. That is what me to here... to hear Tom B. I believe, the saddest part was not knowing I was even in this place until it was too late. The alcoholic tornado (ME) was, once again, running a muck through peoples lives - SOBER. Hurting and damaging them in the process. Once again, time to clean off my side of the street!

  • @donnafabian1986
    @donnafabian1986 7 років тому +2

    :-)

  • @KS99986
    @KS99986 2 роки тому +1

    ❤️