Martin Finally Finds Out Why His Birth Mother Put Him Up for Adoption | Long Lost Family

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  • Опубліковано 26 лип 2019
  • Martin Smith had a happy childhood, but struggled with intense feelings of rejection when he discovered he was adopted and only now feels ready to face his fears and find his birth mother. Catch up now on the ITV Hub: bit.ly/2JSaIqE
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 84

  • @PepperPhoenix
    @PepperPhoenix Рік тому +188

    "I failed you as a mother" that breaks my heart. She gave him up so he could have a life she couldn’t provide. It must have hurt her terribly but she chose the best path for him, not her. An incredible act of love. That’s not failing as a mother, quite the opposite.

    • @LetsAvYa..
      @LetsAvYa.. 9 місяців тому +16

      That’s the same for me. My mother was young when she put me up for adoption and I don’t think she ever forgave herself for it.

    • @stuartbrown2111
      @stuartbrown2111 3 місяці тому +6

      an English speaking honest mother = RARE

    • @biegebythesea6775
      @biegebythesea6775 2 місяці тому

      @@stuartbrown2111 shutup you fkn weird misogynist.

  • @SuperMan-xy8ui
    @SuperMan-xy8ui 2 місяці тому +31

    She didn’t fail him, society did. 16 year olds shouldn't be on the streets without the careful gaze of a community better than the one that she lived in at that time.

  • @karynconner7478
    @karynconner7478 Місяць тому +10

    As a mum who adopted a beautiful boy I want all birth mums to know you have never let anybody down. It’s the hardest thing to do. But the most beautiful gift you can give. I’m lucky we have always had a relationship with my son’s family & it’s has been amazing. My son grew up knowing he was always love by us & his birth family. ❤ love from nz

  • @DawidKellerman
    @DawidKellerman Місяць тому +16

    His mother did not fail him she gave him a good life that she could not at that point

  • @fingerprint5511
    @fingerprint5511 Місяць тому +9

    What a lovely man and adopted family, so loving, and the birth mother, what a wonderful day.

  • @tucoachemma
    @tucoachemma 3 місяці тому +73

    What kind of society abandon young single mothers with babies… 😢

    • @heatherperkins9449
      @heatherperkins9449 3 місяці тому +7

      They did then, thank goodness things have changed.

    • @DJ_Dutchess
      @DJ_Dutchess 2 місяці тому +7

      The same society that abandons single mothers of three during a pandemic 😢

    • @patriciaschuster1371
      @patriciaschuster1371 2 місяці тому +6

      Ours.

    • @user-xb9wb8sc9l
      @user-xb9wb8sc9l 2 місяці тому +2

      Her parents.

    • @22lyric
      @22lyric Місяць тому +1

      What have YOU done to help?

  • @tah6243
    @tah6243 Місяць тому +10

    What a lovely worded letter from his Mum

  • @johnflynn5044
    @johnflynn5044 8 місяців тому +47

    What a sweet guy.

  • @marygonzales8986
    @marygonzales8986 2 місяці тому +25

    Beautiful story! Back in the 50's all that stuff was kept a secret. I'm glad times have changed, but I enjoy watching these reunions! Thanks for sharing !

    • @lettus143
      @lettus143 2 місяці тому +2

      It was never talked about so of course there was not a lot of help available for people in these situations. It's terribly sad, but God has a hand in all of our lives... I am glad this young man got a happy ending to this story.

    • @marygonzales8986
      @marygonzales8986 2 місяці тому +1

      @@lettus143 Me too !

    • @jmk1962
      @jmk1962 25 днів тому

      Martin wasn't born in the 50's, more like the 80's and it's sad to think that there still wasn't support for single mums even then.

    • @marygonzales8986
      @marygonzales8986 25 днів тому

      @@jmk1962 I know he wasn't born in the 50's. I didn't mean to imply that he was! In fact, I don't think I said he was...

  • @Ellen.G
    @Ellen.G 8 місяців тому +41

    Slightly disappointed we didn't get to see her. She sounds a woman who truly loved her child 😊

  • @sanebooks
    @sanebooks 3 місяці тому +17

    I don't know how many times I have watched this (and I watch a lot of these clips). This one always makes me cry.

  • @ybettesudario5470
    @ybettesudario5470 Рік тому +34

    They have the same hair color. You can see the look at his face how happy he is this is amazing!

  • @nirusuroraku6283
    @nirusuroraku6283 2 місяці тому +8

    Can't imagine how that must have felt for her. I am sure she would still remember, as if it were yesterday, the last time she held him thinking that it would be the last time, and now, having the chance to do it again must be overwhelming to say the least.

  • @susanclement4068
    @susanclement4068 2 місяці тому +12

    I’m so happy for him❤️❤️❤️

  • @Hellybelle505
    @Hellybelle505 2 місяці тому +8

    I love it that his whole family is so happy for him ❤❤❤❤

  • @laurenmintern522
    @laurenmintern522 10 місяців тому +85

    She didn’t fail him!! To be on the streets at 16 she was failed :(

    • @FiresideChillers
      @FiresideChillers 3 місяці тому

      Unless it was her fault.

    • @Optimismus53
      @Optimismus53 3 місяці тому +4

      ​@@FiresideChillerswhy?

    • @rhondahulett9763
      @rhondahulett9763 2 місяці тому +9

      ​​@@FiresideChillersHow could it be her fault? She was 16 & tried to take care of him for months

  • @Earthy-Artist
    @Earthy-Artist 2 місяці тому +8

    A very beautiful reunion.

  • @jeanlanz2344
    @jeanlanz2344 Місяць тому +1

    Beautiful. Thank you, God, that Martin is alive, that his Mom was so generous and brave, and that his Mom and Dad gave him a great life as their son. God bless you all.

  • @craig_ramjet990
    @craig_ramjet990 2 місяці тому +6

    You are fortunate. My search dead ended. My sister found many relatives and reunited. Good to see you both made it.

    • @jmk1962
      @jmk1962 25 днів тому

      Long Lost Families only ever shows happy reunions. It kind of annoys me that they never show cases where the adoptees get rejected by their birth families.
      I'm 61and found my birth mother last year, she's 85 and I have 6 half siblings that have no idea I exist. Her husband (who is deceased) did know about me but they decided to not tell my siblings about me and now my BM is terrified they will find out about me and judge her.
      I have spoken to her by phone 5 times as we live in different countries and I feel absolutely no connection to her at all because all she is concerned about is herself and her children's opinion of her. She has never asked me a single question about myself growing up or my life and has not told me a single thing about my siblings. I sent her photos of my adoptive parents, myself as a child, and my son who died as a 15 month old baby and she never commented or said a word.
      I have now decided that I am not going to bother speaking to her again as there is no point. Yes she's happy I'm alive and had a great childhood but that's where it ends. She is more concerned about herself and her own reputation than owning up to having had me.
      Fortunately her older sister, who helped her when she was pregnant with me, is the complete opposite. As soon as I DNA matched with her granddaughter she knew who I was and she immediately asked if she could phone me and she welcomed me into her family. She had always thought about me as she met me once when I was a few days old. We had an instant connection and it's as if I've known her all of my life. She lives in yet another country and we have been chatting via WhatsApp twice a week for the past year for hours at a time. She has filled me in on all of my birth family and I have been able to do my family tree with 220 people in it. She has told me all about my birth mother and siblings etc and this year I went and stayed with her for 2 weeks and it was wonderful. She is amazing and we are so alike, both really chatty and as I said it's like we've always known each other.
      That's why I have decided to not bother talking to my birth mother anymore, its pointless as she is so cold and uncaring. I'll stick with my aunt who is wonderful and so loving and caring and her family have made me feel so welcome.
      On my birth fathers side, (he is deceased) I discovered I have 4 half siblings. I reached out to them via FaceBook but sadly they don't want anything to do with me and are not interested in speaking to me.
      I had worked out who my birth father was years ago from a DNA match with his sister who lives in America but I didn't do anything about it until last year when I finally got access to my adoption file, due to the new law passed in Ireland giving adoptees the right to access their files.
      It's hard being rejected for something that wasn't my fault, but that's life. Just because you are genetically related doesn't necessarily mean you will get on with each other. You can't choose your family but to be rejected and not be given a chance by your BP's or half siblings still hurts even as an adult.
      I am so glad I have finally confirmed who my BP's are and my aunts husband in America has shared 16 pages of my birth fathers family tree so I now know where I came from and who I am and it does help to feel more complete.
      My parents are Mum and Dad the people who brought me up, they were wonderful and earned the title. The others created and gave birth to me, but it takes more than that to be a Mum and Dad.
      Don't give up, you may well connect with an uncle or aunt or cousin in the future like I did. Never forget none of it was your fault and it's their loss not yours. ❤

  • @JocieFire
    @JocieFire 4 місяці тому +21

    Makes me feel a little heartbroken and jealous. He was loved and wanted desperately by two families- some of us were loved and wanted by none. Thankfully, I know God loves me, and those experiences of rejection are not part of our eternal value.

    • @bcd4562
      @bcd4562 3 місяці тому +7

      My dear friend was adopted and never wanted to know about her birth family. She was terrified of opening a can of worms.
      She hit the jackpot with her adopted family. We were all jealous. She was so loved by them.

    • @Hellybelle505
      @Hellybelle505 2 місяці тому +1

      I'm so sorry ❤❤❤❤

    • @Flo1918
      @Flo1918 Місяць тому

      @JocieFire.....im so sorry if noone turned up to show love to you....At 16 yrs old I got pregnant even if I was already taking birth control at that age, it was suppose to help me with my monthly bleeding, I was bleeding way too much ...but I got pregnant..My mother really took it bad..that's when I found out she had never wanted me...I refused to give the baby away, I refused an abortion, to me it was my responsibility..I kept him but knowing how he would come to treat me later in life..I wouldn't even have given such trouble to another woman..I would have had an abortion..😢...he was such a good baby, till I got married and got pregnant, had another son whom he was so jealous of....then he gave me as much trouble he could, ran away, I was so worried but didn't have a car to go look for him..I asked help from neighbors that my son was friends with their sons...he said he didn't want to come home , so he was placed in a foster home...anyways to make this short...it was always like this, he's a grown man now with his own family but doesn't want anything to do with us, doesn't celebrate any mother's day with me but he does his mother in law...he pushed me and hurt my right side......so as much as this show is great to reunite some families together, I often wonder if what I shared here happened to other mothers...its heartbreaking to know after all I went throu at 17, giving birth, finishing high school...why doesn't he appreciate me...😢

    • @marypiper8161
      @marypiper8161 Місяць тому

      ​@@Flo1918That is such a sad story. I'm so sorry that you have been so unappreciated. Sending you love and hope for your future.

  • @pattiesmith6193
    @pattiesmith6193 Місяць тому +2

    Having been given up for adoption and not knowing about my birth family until I was 40, I felt my birth mother gave me life twice.
    Once when she gave birth to me, and then once when she made it possible for me to be adopted into a Christian family that gave me a life she never could have.

  • @giaatta9303
    @giaatta9303 2 місяці тому +4

    Wow such a deep story. He expects nothing.

  • @sagittarius3363
    @sagittarius3363 2 місяці тому +4

    Lovely people, all the way around.

  • @alyblakeley9526
    @alyblakeley9526 2 дні тому +1

    She was being a good mother not a failure, by putting his needs ahead of her own

  • @rosemarypeace9000
    @rosemarypeace9000 3 місяці тому +7

    Tears tears tears

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort Місяць тому +2

    Glad you found the rest of yourself

  • @user-fe9vh3fi9c
    @user-fe9vh3fi9c Місяць тому +2

    Who? me cry? what a wonderfully happy ending

  • @IamKelly-anne
    @IamKelly-anne Місяць тому +1

    Beautiful ❤

  • @juan21r16
    @juan21r16 2 місяці тому +3

    Bloody tears....

  • @zaazi9446
    @zaazi9446 9 місяців тому +15

    I wonder about his father 🤔

  • @wonderland1985
    @wonderland1985 3 місяці тому +9

    It’s weird how people say they are meeting for the first time when that is clearly not true.

    • @codename495
      @codename495 2 місяці тому +3

      Oh stop being pedantic. A meeting when you’re physically incapable of creating memory of that person isn’t a meeting.

  • @Flo1918
    @Flo1918 Місяць тому +2

    Why anonymous ? She's been like that since she let him go, i don't understand

    • @AE-yt4lx
      @AE-yt4lx Місяць тому

      Just a thing, I guess.

  • @tiadavenport5465
    @tiadavenport5465 Місяць тому

    Leave that family alone.

  • @pegasusgalaxy68
    @pegasusgalaxy68 Місяць тому

    Why need to find birth parents when have a present family who wanted you...very upset for his adoptive mother as would not be a great feeling when your child goes off to find his birth parents.... never miss what you never had or knew. Stay forward move forward.

  • @brendajerez2235
    @brendajerez2235 2 місяці тому

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @brendajerez2235
    @brendajerez2235 2 місяці тому

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @brandyag
    @brandyag 2 місяці тому +2

    I think it’s dusty in my room.

  • @SeriousMoonlight666
    @SeriousMoonlight666 Рік тому +15

    Yes, when she was destitute- the birth mother had to give up her child so he could survive. That was not easy. But I see she has lived on, her life improved and she got married(?)...why wouldn't she track him down or find out if he's OK?

    • @andreablamire5509
      @andreablamire5509 11 місяців тому +26

      I’m not sure but I think the initial search has to come from the child, maybe?

    • @ED-gz4cg
      @ED-gz4cg 11 місяців тому +30

      If it was not an open adoption doubt she'd have any access to such information.

    • @courtneyemm4570
      @courtneyemm4570 10 місяців тому +12

      A lot of parents would love to reach out but feel like they’ll push boundaries or the child might not want to see them, so they wait for the child(ren) to reach out first

    • @hollysielaff5453
      @hollysielaff5453 10 місяців тому +14

      This was probably a closed adoption and the birth parents were not given any information back then on where the child was placed. She wouldn't even have a name to start a search.

    • @PerfectlyDeranged
      @PerfectlyDeranged 10 місяців тому +7

      Adoption records are closed and can only be accessed legally by specialist intermediaries which is why this show exists, to bridge that gap. Also names are totally changed so even social media wouldn’t help. He probably wasn’t born Martin, he had another name. And if he was called Martin his mother would have thought his name would have changed also.

  • @AlaborJinta
    @AlaborJinta Місяць тому

    stopped whenit said...actor voice....come on. ruined it

  • @GoodVibesNewlevel2023
    @GoodVibesNewlevel2023 9 місяців тому +1

    It’s sad how many of these people have given up their children to save face.

    • @muddydog6605
      @muddydog6605 4 місяці тому +13

      She was a child WTAF?

    • @Optimismus53
      @Optimismus53 3 місяці тому +3

      godness, really?

    • @anyaw340
      @anyaw340 2 місяці тому +8

      Save face from what? She was a child herself; she wasn't thinking about "saving face".

    • @nothanks5846
      @nothanks5846 Місяць тому

      Are you mentally handicapped, and so you didn’t comprehend the video you just watched??

  • @tyman6708
    @tyman6708 Місяць тому

    This whispering tone they use is annoying af.

    • @AE-yt4lx
      @AE-yt4lx Місяць тому +2

      British people speak quietly. I didn’t feel like it was whispering.