you're not needy, they're unavailable
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- Опубліковано 5 лип 2024
- In this video, we discuss the avoidant-attachment style and the anxious-attachment style, and how it could've played a role in your last romantic relationship. Furthermore, the clarity provided here may help you to detach or let go of this specific person, so you can attract the love you desire.
sources:
a.co/d/8RbaFoG
www.medicalnewstoday.com/arti...
www.psychalive.org/anxious-av...
www.attachmentproject.com/blo...
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I love what you said about how emotionally unavailable people can make even secure individuals question being anxious. I see people who complain about their avoidant partners/exes say all the time how they feel needy for asking for their partner to text them more, check in on them, spend time with them, when those things are pillars of any type of healthy relationship. People are so quick to label themselves as anxiously attached when really their completely normal needs are just not being met by an unavailable person.
Exactly. EX-ACTLY 👏🏼
T H I S
Thank you for this!!! I needed this validation and confirmation. God, it sucks to ask for more attention without feeling needy.
My daughters name is Meelah!!! She is constantly being called MALEEKA lol and I didn’t understand why or HOW… until now!
I made up her spelling when I was pregnant. It was very important to me because I just knew she was going to be this angelic beautiful soul and young lady one day.
I loved Mila kunis but I wanted a more exotic spelling for my daughters name. So I sat and sat just pulling letters outta my ass until I finally found and LOVED the flow of them. And now, here she is. My sweet sweet, loving, deeply kind hearted… Meelah…
The makeup, the hair, the skin. YOU ARE THAT GIRLLLL🩷🌸
Thanks sweetpea😊💕
I’m obsessed w her 😍
@@maleekaismyguardianangelplsss tell me if you have someone in life plsss
And so am I
I@@infitine_intelligence999
I was the avoidant person in my relationship and I had no idea. All I knew was that I felt cold, and overwhelmed. I loved her and ended things to take care of myself. I told her this. I am so sorry for any hurt I caused. I have healed so much over this past year and I’m grateful I focused on myself, but a part of me still loves her and misses her. I know she is doing well and I hope she can forgive me.
just wanted to say your videos changed my life. recently i got out of a relationship where the other person didn’t see my value and i was chasing them to fix things after they ended it. after watching you for a few weeks and learning how to manifest self love/value and improve my self concept, im so happy. now he’s the one upset and chasing me because he’s confused how i moved on so quickly. so thank you!
Oh my god, this is conscious creation right here. I used to be filled with so much guilt that I ruined the relationship with my anxious attachment style and I decided to revise that just so that I feel better and you make this video that gives EXACTLY what I wanted to hear !!!
You're welcome hon💜
Can relate
I absolutely needed this; I was actually the emotionless partner for a time and i didn't see anything wrong with it; me and my then girlfriend broke up 2 years ago and when i went to visit her after our break up, she made it clear on how I was a "good" partner but had a lot of issues with myself and because of how she was, she put up with it for the sake of me and the relationship which definitely hurt to hear. For a while, I didn't understand what to do to fix it because I was so used to it, but then months go by and Im seeing a result of the damage I did to not only her, but to many other people who had an "image" of who I was (family, friends, etc.) This video helped me to remember why this change was important for me so that I can be more for my future relationships and myself. 💖💖
I don't usually comment but this is a beautiful video - thank you. I had a very emotionally abusive and avoidant ex and it absolutely destroyed me for a minute. A year and a half of choosing to be celibate and healing in therapy, and I feel ready for real love now.
so glad things are better for you, lots of love
You are not alone. I am experiencing the same suffering…. The avoidance one destroyed me …. 😢
Hello
Something I have been in search for quite sometime is a connection with somebody that goes beyond vanity. It's very hard to do in this day and age. People can be, somewhat very superficial.
On my quest to achieve this I have learnt a lot about human nature. It seems to me that those who are not given traits such as beauty or being wealthy are some of the nicest, kindest and generous people.
While the "gorgeous" and well off seem to be the most arrogant and greedy people out there. Of course that's not to say there aren't beautiful kind people out there.
I've been in the process of change for a while now and I have made some decent changes. It's great seeing yourself level up.
I saw your profile and it intrigued me. I wanted to learn more about who you are and what type of path you would like on in life.
Can we talk?
@@fightermmabro thinks UA-cam is a dating app 😅
@@nica7747 First of all I'm not your "bro". Second of all mind your business. That you think the only way to find a woman is through a dating app shows how much of a loser you are. I have approached females in person in all sorts of places. This is just another way to connect to someone who could possibly be "the one".
That part where you said, “understanding leads to forgiveness; for yourself and then for them. Forgiveness leads to healing. And healing leads to detaching from them all together.” 👈
I hv never seen a clearer explanation of why my second marriage ended. I never blamed myself thankfully bcuz I am extremely emotionally secure, I never lost love for him I just accepted he could not be the one to meet my emotional needs in a relationship and his wounds needed to be healed by him, not me. We are still extremely close friends, even take trips together occasionally but there is no intimacy. It relieves us both of the expectations people have in relationships. I’ll never marry again but that experience taught me a lot about handling and healing my own wounds and compassion as others do or don’t heal theirs. This was an awesome video, you’re freaking amazing 🙌🏽♥️
I was feeling abandoned by some friends in the last seven years. Right now I'm able to deal with it and see that we are not meant to be friends anymore anyways.
This is a very wisdom-filled video. These days, you have tons of people talking about how _you've_ been needy, but never tell you that maybe the _other_ person was indeed either not ready or unavailable to receive something genuinely good. Yes, there is a thing as being needy (codependency), but we can sometimes still end up gaslighting ourselves into thinking that we were (always) the problem, causing us to be too hard on ourselves and build internal walls of self-doubt.
I believe that the key is to find someone who broadcasts on the same frequency as yourself. One who, like you, is _truly_ just as emotionally available as yourself.
Some people just honestly need to work on themselves first, before becoming emotionally available for a relationship. Sometimes, they don't believe that they deserve a truly healthy person like you. At times like this, it's best to move on towards someone who does. You deserve a healthy relationship, because you're an individual of internal value. :)
I was watching your old videos when you posted this one. I just want to say that you are one of my favourite creators, because I can see how much effort and love you put into your videos. And this love only grows, which is trully magnificent to look at, thanks for helping to feel better!!
Thank you for noticing sweetheart 😊💕
Yooo that title 🤌🏼
Glad you think so😊😊
i’ve been waiting for you to upload and as usual you came threw it was well worth the wait!
This was so beautifully captured. Thanks for sharing. 😊
You're the best Chelsea🥺seriously. And thank you so much for your amazing videos☺❤
Today, I asked the universe for answers to my questions and you were the messenger. Thank you :)
This was explained so beautifully. Thank you for this....
Thank you for the lovely video, I love your soothing voice and perspective. The message of this video is beautiful ♥️
just recently found your channel and it’s shocking how relevant your most recent videos are to what’s been going on in my life. like girl are you reading my mind? i had to subscribe! thank you
I really love listening to you! Specially to your voice, so relaxing!❤
This was perfect timing for me. Thank you so much🩷
❤❤❤❤❤ I have to say, you're videos are so special and exciting. Because you tell it, like it is. No sugar coating. I love them. That's all I keep watching. Thank you
you’re glowing!!! ❤️💐
She is amazing! I’ve had a rough month missing and understanding a past bad relationship. This brought me to my present and understanding.
All I want now it do stay with this calmness , thank you.
your videos CAN'T be so connected with my life... you're my proof this all works...
Do you have anxiety?
Notice it down in your body.
Feel it.
Can you let it go?
Would you let it go?
When would you let it go?
Repeat
This has worked for me in the past to let go of anxiety fear and attachment
Or codependent issues
I was dealing with someone that seemed to enjoy creating anxiety in me. You can control your own fears feelings etc
So being able to feel peace no matter what another Dumbass does I find empowering
It can be very triggering to see that the other person cares less. Power trips. Is willing to trash the relationship. Want to control you.
This just gave me so much peace about this
Great video, and also, you're glowing 🌟 Looking good!!
i take advice from very few people, and u are now one of them. i love the scientific evidence combined with the faith of the LOA. the way you explain things is very applicable, simple, to the point, thorough, and effective. love love love
this video changed my perception of what i felt was an endless abyss of pain and even mourning. maybe I can finally move on now. thank you so much.
Hi, Maleeka! Thanks a lot for your awesome content! It has been a huge help in dealing with situations. If possible, I would like a video on the topic of 'Handeling self doubts when manifesting'. Thanks again!
I avoided this video out of all your videos, but i needed to hear it right now ofcourse at 2:15am on a friday night, lovely as can be smh
Love it! I was recommended this book by an anxious attached person years ago who interpreted it from a victim mindset. She gave it to me because I had a tendency to walk away from emotionally unavailable people and she thought I needed to identify my attachment style to meet others instead of recognizing that they weren’t right for me. I didn’t read it all the way because I went in thinking there was something wrong with me.
I let go of many people (including her) because ignoring my needs didn’t feel right. I focused on me, and accepted that the right partner would not see my “needs” as needy.
Because I understood my needs, I was able to meet someone who met my needs and currently in a healthy relationships where we both meet each other needs.
Your explanation of this book is very empowering and definitely resonate.
Very helpful. I really appreciate your insights.
Chelseaaaaa 😍😍😍 and also- another higher word for our higher selves, thank you!!
Yes, queen I needed this video
It's crazy that it's almost as if you made this video for me. I needed to see something like this at this time as I'm going through a very hard situation at the moment. We've not broke up but it's been very on/off for the past two months as my partner has feelings for someone else and I do believe he has an avoidant attachment style. I really want to make it work with him as we have had some magical moments together but like you say you can only do so much from your side. Thank you for making this, it helps me to understand different attachment styles more and to know despite me not being perfect, I'm not wrong for feeling the way I do. Beautiful video, I love your content, your aesthetic and I absolutely love your aura. You are a breath of fresh air, keep being amazing.
Thank you darling :) take your time with this, and do what feels best for you. You'll be okay ❤️
I needed this so much!! Thank you
I landed on the Hadsell video and then I saw this title. I have read this book and I used to believe all in attachment styles.
But sweetheart, how can you talk of manifestation and then talk about ‘another’ being ‘avoidant/anxious/unavailable’. If everyone and everything is a projection of us, then do not go by attachment styles.
If this assumption does come up in your head, you can switch it to: they are the most emotionally available.. rewrite the entire connection.
Don’t go into attachment styles if you want to preach manifestation.
Funny you posted, I was just thinking he would have made anyone a little anxious. Pretty good book, by the way. I am anxious and a bit clingy. We anxious attachments need to learn to self soothe and be easy to be with, not difficult potentially wanting too much too soon. Great article you read from too- life will happen in any relationship, avoidants do tend to prefer to distance and handle their disappointment themselves. Very triggering for an anxious attachment style! But definitely not only the other person's fault, it takes two. The book also talks about protest behaviors anxious attachments tend to do, we need to learn not to fall into the habit of bad behaviors going forward. Just my thoughts, the video feels like confirmation I've figured out the "why" as in why it didn't work. (He was FA for those of you that are familiar, the book doesn't cover FA but there's tons of info on UA-cam about it. Asking why will leave you stuck, which anxious types tend to be after a break up.) Thank you again for the video confirmation. You look beautiful 😍
Legit crying because I just knew attachment style from my ex who is avoidant. I am anxious at that time but as soon as i knew I properly healed and I'm now secure. My heart pouring for those who have avoidant attachment.
I really like your contents and the way you weave and deliver the information you received. I hope one day you could also make a content about 'limerence' feeling
The most logical answer i have ever got from long time being confused I'm happy tbh thannnkuuu❤>
I wish I would have been as wise as you when I was your age. What a beautiful video!
I can forgive them but I can't forgive myself for having impossible expectations from them, even though I knew they can't give me that I still wanted to be with them and I can't heal from it since I feel guilty from hurting them
tysm, i really needed to hear this today. the demise of the relationship was not solely my doing.
YOU LOOOK SO DIFF
You are the best Chelsea!
3:36 where you shared the symptoms...I've experienced so many of them with my ex😔 ty for making me feel heard💖💜💖
I love you and your energy!!🫶🏽🩷
💕💕💕
You are completely right.
Great video!
She is a life changer 💕💯👌
She's back! Looking sexier on every thumbnail. Iam saving this one for later though, on the watch list. Thank you... i love you
I'll be here later too💓
This is very helpful. Thank you.
We were so close, and then her new career took 70-80% of her time. I didn't make the cut.
She was definitely the dismissive avoidant type. Vulnerable underneath. Still a wonderful person.
I don't necessarily want to detach. I want her to heal and return. I've had much longer relationships and never felt the connection I felt with her. I think it could have worked if she didn't run away like she does when things get uncomfortable.
just remember, as you are able to heal, they might take their own time or maybe not ever heal. life happens when you start living, don't stop it to wait for something to happen 💜
@violetmoon141 thank you. I agree with you. I've been trying to step into that lately and do what i need to do for me. It's a weird an unsure/uneasy feeling trying to let go of what happened, of her, but at the same time, every day, I'm reminding the universe I'm willing her into my future. I hope I'm not distracting myself and doing this for nothing
@@ohmainzte it will never be for nothing; it will be for yourself darling! chin up and remember you are worth being chased & loved unconditionally, but first you must unconditionally love yourself!
@@violetmoon141 💜!!! You are so right! I've been learning to love myself even before she came and left. Still not sure why I have such resentments, but this season I'm in the best shape of my life and looking the sexiest I think I ever have. Appreciating my body, and my health has been a great start/motivator for me.
I'm going through something similar. She seems like such a sweet person and kind so it's hard to be mad. It's just frustration. I hope her sweetness isn't part of the facade.
I love your videos so much, thanks Maleeka
I don't have a long story just that I really liked someone and I thought we could be soulmates but she seems to have an avoidant personality. She seemed happy using me for validation. It hurts a little because it took me 2 years to realize this and I feel like I wasted my time. I feel like I made a fool of myself. But I had no idea. So I'm annoyed and aggravated and don't want to see her anymore. But I will because she goes to the same Church so I have to continue to play along that we're friends.
You helped me so much. Thank u
Lovely wisdom.
Ok this may sound so superficial but you look so gorgeous omg
Attraction is 50% superficial I'd say.Somtimes it works for you....sometimes not
dear this is just what i need❤ you are goddess
I just realized people have been unavailable my whole life then cause I literally don’t recall ever actually truly being with someone. My attachment feels so fucked
Can you clarify letting go? Neville folks say the only way you should let go is into the state of having of your desire and not give up on it, but I've never ever been able to do that in a million years. I can let go the LOAttraction way, however, which is like literally giving up and letting go of your desire and not even trying to manifest, ie precisely the exact thing the Neville crowd says you shouldn't do or you will never get your desire and fail. Yet I feel relief and free and am not tormented by the desire any more. It doesn't make sense at all.
You are a Goddess! Thank you
motherrrrrrr is baaack😭😭😭😭
Hello
Something I have been in search for quite sometime is a connection with somebody that goes beyond vanity. It's very hard to do in this day and age. People can be, somewhat very superficial.
On my quest to achieve this I have learnt a lot about human nature. It seems to me that those who are not given traits such as beauty or being wealthy are some of the nicest, kindest and generous people.
While the "gorgeous" and well off seem to be the most arrogant and greedy people out there. Of course that's not to say there aren't beautiful kind people out there.
I've been in the process of change for a while now and I have made some decent changes. It's great seeing yourself level up.
I saw your profile and it intrigued me. I wanted to learn more about who you are and what type of path you would like on in life.
Can we talk?
Very well spoken for your age. Also incredibly mature. You should study psychology. You have skills and also are able to present them just the way you should.❤
Thank you 💜
I'm trying to recover from unfulfilled love for an unavailable person...I'm slowly finding my peace just spending time on my own after months of chasing and being depressed and anxious..I wonder, can we manifest for them to be healed?
Hey same here.. and I think we can. We need to change the story we’re telling ourselves about them and us..
This is interesting.... I am secure. I welcome love and give love willingly. BUT I am unavailable to anyone with anxious energy... They have no boundaries for themselves and don't respect the boundaries of others... Me being unavailable to someone who is anxious doesn't make me avoidant and it doesn't mean that I feel as if they are inferior BUT it does mean that I feel I am better than the situation that that connection would provide if pursued.
Nice video 👍🏿
Thank you
im a guy. my ex literally just broke up with me "give me time and space blah blah". i was broken, because i tried everything to be inclusive, loving, and too let her know just how much i cared about her. but it was only reciprocated in spurts. it didnt feel good at all. so although im sad because she was beautiful, tall and attractive to me in many ways... i know that she wasnt right for me and that with her, i would never be truly happy.
Offtopic but you look good as hell 🥰
It took my years to understand why my husband is the way he is, now i see, he is avoidant and my needs arent met , but how do i end my suffering, i have kids and any step to move on involves other lives,,, how to detach as a wife and a mother… is there any hope
What if i am an anxious attached person,how can i heal from that
can u make a video for those who've never been in a relationship and are trying to manifest using the feelings surrounding one ?
Maybe i am avoident as well
Nice picture of Elvis and Priscilla's hands after their wedding🙂 👍
What if you're the person you were describing. I recognize most of those traits in myself.
You are so gorgeous lol, and I am pretty sure I you were in my dream last night ,lol. Love the videos .. thanks for everything
Do you give 1:1 coaching?
Do you do personal coaching?
Not at this time hon💗
Great
you look especially beautiful today
Am i the problem 😮
💗
Me simping for you (granted, small donations).. is a legitimate need, that i just need scratch. Iam an avoidant but healing
it's a process sweetie🩷take your time, and thank you.
👍👍👍
😘😘😘
This is helpful but isn’t it a little contradictory to your teaching on manifesting a healthy version of an sp?
Not at all. Though manifesting the healthiest version of your SP is possible, it's not necessary for anyone if they just don't want to. Furthermore, finding a clear way to detach from someone who's pulling on your energy, is manifesting an sp 101🩷
@@maleekaismyguardianangel I see! I appreciate your response that’s also really helpful 💗
In which video is she taking about it?
How many tattoos do you have?
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infogypsy
Too sad
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